Nick/Justin - post-band 5

"It might be over. I mean. People are more relaxed about...about this every day. Rosie's not getting picketers any more, and Ian McKellen married his boy, and, you know? I think it's just new. I think we're doing the right thing, getting it out there in the very beginning. That way we can get past all the insanity as quick as possible." He turned his face into Justin's palm, nipping at the pad of his thumb. "It'll feel *really* good when it's over."

"Which it will be, very soon," said Justin. "Before we know it he's gonna call us out there and ... you and I both know how fast these interviews go. The old instincts kick in and you just go with it. We probably won't even freak out again until afterwards. I do have a little freak-out scheduled, just so you know."

Nick grinned, but was cut off by a knock on the door. Someone in a headset smiled at them, and waved them over. "Makeup's calling, gentlemen. Let's go make you pretty."

"Justin's pretty already," Nick protested, standing and pulling Justin's hand. "Don't mess with perfection. Now, the hair...maybe you should do something with the hair..." He winked back at Justin over his shoulder.

She looked amused, and she looked at their hands, but she didn't comment. She just did her job and led the way.

"You just leave my hair out of this and worry about yourself," said Justin, tugging on his hand once they were out the door so they were side by side again. "I'll worry about my own hair, thank you very much. It'll give me something to concentrate on other than what we're about to do."

"Like you said. Instincts. I mean, how much of our lives did we spend doing these? Half, maybe?" Nick was getting calmer, the closer they got to the actual interview, but he could still feel the fine trembling in his stomach. "And hey. *My* hair doesn't look like a brillo pad gone wrong." He grinned at Justin and scrubbed his fingers through his hair, tugging at a curl. "Just think positive, and it'll be easy. None of those questions were *too* hard."

"You love my hair," Justin reminded him. "You think my hair is fabulous. You especially love to grab hold of it when we're ... it's not Dave's questions I'm worried about. Dave's gonna be great, that's why we picked him. He knows this is important, and he knows which parts to play up and which to play off as just normal. No, it's the callers I'm worried about."

"Can I help it that those curls are just so tempting?" Nick chuckled, but ducked his head and blushed again when he caught the PA hiding her grin. "I dunno," he said more quietly, as they stepped into the chaos of the makeup room. "He's bound to get some nasty callers, but don't they try to balance those with people who're gonna be supportive? And the neat thing about the phones are...if someone gets nasty, they just hang up. Don't worry, baby, it'll be okay." He squeezed his hand.

"And they're screening them, I know, but it's pretty easy to get around that," said Justin with a sigh, letting go of Nick's hand to run his fingers through his hair. "Well. You know. It won't be any worse than what we'd encounter on the street. I just really counted on that stuff being directed at *me*, you know? I never figured on any of this."

Nick took his shoulders and pressed him down into a chair near a mirror, smiling at the makeup guy as nicely as he could. Then he did a quick double take and his smile became genuine. "Oh my god, Keiko! How are you? Good to see you, man." He accepted a hug, sending Justin an apologetic glance. They were in the homestretch now, no room for private talk. "Justin, this is Keiko, he worked our last tour. He's fantastic, you're in great hands."

"Oh, Nick, you're too kind," Keiko, dressed in mesh and feathers, swanned up to Justin's side. "We'll make you *beautiful* for your big coming out interview. Such a fabulous occasion! We're all so excited." He tipped Justin's chin up with a delicate finger, as Nick found his own seat.

Nick could tell from the hint of a smile on Justin's face that he really appreciated hearing that. "I think we're more nervous than excited right now," he said, "but yeah, it's gonna be big. So just ... do your thing, man. Any friend of Nick's is a friend of mine."

"Don't be nervous, honey," Keiko crooned, starting to apply foundation with a light hand. "You've got *tons* of support in the community. I mean, just last night there was a *huge* party at Vinyl dedicated to you two, and I know there's a viewing party there tonight! The queens are *dancing*, baby. With a nice little dose of "I told you so," from those of us in the know." He shot a coy glance at Nick, who snorted and turned away.

"Not too much," he warned the lady who was starting on his own face. "Just, you know. Take off the shine." He tugged at his shirt with nervous fingers, wondering again if he should have worn something a little plainer.

"I think," said Justin, moving his mouth carefully so as not to interrupt, "our celebration is only gonna start once we get through this interview. It's hard to say all the right things ... " He seemed to think he was revealing too much to someone outside his inner circle and shut down completely for a moment. "I'm definitely going to need a drink after *this*."

"Sweetie, you'll drink for free tonight in Chelsea," Keiko giggled, dusting on some powder and regarding his work carefully. "Don't worry, David is nervous too. It's precious, I'm sure it will be fine. Then you can go get deliciously trashed."

"Is Joey expecting us back any time specific?" Nick asked without moving his face. "Does he want to come out with us tonight? I know he's got the show tomorrow."

"If he can call the nanny in to watch Bree, he might," said Justin, turning his head when Keiko encouraged him to. "He might have already, I don't know, but he did send her home earlier. He's letting Bree stay up to watch the show, did you know? I wasn't sure if that was such a good idea, but ... well, he's her father. I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

"Huh." Nick tipped his chin up for foundation on his neck. "Well, she's five going on thirty, and she knows what's going on, so...I'm sure he'll be watching with her, too. So he can explain things, or not, or whatever. He's such a good dad. We can call him after, you can, see how it played on tv. Is he taping it? Because I'm gonna want to see it too. I can never remember how things go when I'm in the middle of the actual interview. I even forget what I said, sometimes. So don't let me babble, okay?"

"I'm not sure I'll notice," admitted Justin. "I may be babbling myself. Of course I'm going to call Joey afterward; we can find out if he wants to come out with us then. I'll wait a few minutes, though, he's going to want to put Bree to bed. If she even makes it that late at all. I forgot to ask him if he's taping it though ... well, I'm sure he is. He always thinks of that kind of thing."

"Good," Nick grunted, his head down as someone put smelly gel into his hair. He was limp under their hands; this was familiar, he knew how to do this. Justin did too, clearly, able to ignore what was going on and continue talking. "But at least one of us should be on babble-alert. Maybe we should tell Dave. Kei, where should we go, after? I don't think we're gonna be up for much bashing or harrassment after this."

"No, yes, I know." Keiko brushed some light blush across Justin's cheekbone, deep in thought. "Like I said, Chelsea. You could go to the Velvet Lounge, that's always lovely. Relaxed vibe, good drinks, mellow. Is that what you're looking for, honey?"

"As far as I'm concerned, yeah," said Justin when he was done with his cheeks. He turned to Nick and made a face, then grinned. "Depends on how much energy I have to burn off after, too. I might need to dance my ass off for a while. I don't know yet. What do you think?"

"I think you look cute in makeup," Nick grinned. "Da widdle rosy cheeks! But yeah, we can play it by ear. I didn't sleep too much last night, so...but I bet I'll be up and hopping, after. Adrenaline's an amazing thing." He closed his eyes so that the lady could pat color onto his lids, just a hint of clear mascara, and he was done. "I like the Velvet, though. At least it's a good place to hang for a while and recover." He put a hand flat on his belly, feeling it jump under his touch. "I've got a family of angry butterflies in there," he complained.

"Tell me about it," said Justin, blinking at himself in the mirror for a second and making a face again. He did look good, though. "When did you say you had to be back for class again? BecauseI think a couple of days of downtime at Joey's place are sounding better and better. What can ever be bad with Bree around?"

Nick shrugged. "I took the week off. I figured even if we were heading back, things'd be too hectic for me to get stuff done, really. So we can hang here, if you want. That little girl sure is sweet, and Joey ain't so bad himself." He raised a hand to his spiky hair, teasing one piece a little higher. "New York's nice and open minded, mostly, too, so that'd be cool. More support, less protests."

"I don't want to take you away from class too long," said Justin, but he looked pleased that they could stay maybe longer than he'd expected. "Funny how I'm suddenly needing to get away from my getaway, huh? There's gonna be *so* much unpacking to do when we get back. Maybe I should just hire some help after all ... "

Nick shrugged. "I took the week off. I figured even if we were heading back, things'd be too hectic for me to get stuff done, really. So we can hang here, if you want. That little girl sure is sweet, and Joey ain't so bad himself." He raised a hand to his spiky hair, teasing one piece a little higher. "New York's nice and open minded, mostly, too, so that'd be cool. More support, less protests."

"I don't want to take you away from class too long," said Justin, but he looked pleased that they could stay maybe longer than he'd expected. "Funny how I'm suddenly needing to get away from my getaway, huh? There's gonna be *so* much unpacking to do when we get back. Maybe I should just hire some help after all ... "

"Don't have them do it while you're gone," Nick warned, reaching for his hand again as the activity around them reached the just-pre-show energy. "I'm telling you, someone put my boxer briefs and an old photo album on E-bay, last time I had movers. Oh, and my dishtowels. People buy the wierdest shit." A voice shouted 'ten minutes,' and Nick's fingers tightened on Justin's convulsively.

"The thought of doing it myself, though ... " said Justin groaning. Nick wondered if he'd even heard the call, or if he was latching onto this as something to keep his nerves from rising to high. "You've seen the place. You know how much there is left to do. It's a good thing I'm planning on staying there a good long time, huh?".

"You can hire them, just be sure to get a supertight contract and be there to supervise," Nick said, glancing at the door. "Help's good. Seeing your drawers up for auction ain't. Um. Ten minutes. I think we should go get mic'ed, see the set. You ready, J? You look great. We should go." He was clinging to Justin's hand.

"I look passable. You look amazing. However, I'm gonna wait until we're done here to tell you just what I want to do to you," he said with a wicked little grin. Whether it was another coping strategy or not, it made Nick half-hard and definitely took Nick's mind off the difficult parts of coming out. "You're right, we should get ready." And then, despite the people swarming around them, he pulled Nick closer and kissed him.

"Mmmm," he hummed happily, wrapping his arms around Justin's waist and tasting his tongue. The chaos around then fell away, and all he could hear and feel and see was Justin. He pulled away from the kiss, finally, and tipped his forehead to Justin's, and whispered. "It's worth it, all this. You're worth it, to me, even if it was a hundred times crazier. And now you've got me thinking about whar you're gonna do to me after, and I really *won't* be able to concentrate during this thing."

"Sure you will," insisted Justin, still holding him close. "Because you know we need to get through it to do the afterwards. And we will, Nick. It's all gonna be okay."

* * *

Nick let out a long, shuddering breath as soon as the camera's 'recording' light flicked off, and he literally collapsed into Justin's side. Not that Justin looked to be in much better shape, but Nick was desperate for some reassurance.

"Guys. Guys." There was a huge smile on Dave's face. "That was fucking great! You two were perfect. Out of the fucking *park!*" He clapped his hands gleefully, tilting his head so his in-ear could be removed by the tech. "That kiss was perfect. *Perfect.*"

"Thanks," Nick murmured into Justin's neck, simultaneously exhausted and humming with leftover tension. As promised, a lot of the interview was a blur in his mind. "Did I babble?"

Dave looked at Justin before answering, and definitely looked amused. "Well, yeah," he told him. "But it was fine. It looked like happy babbling, not nervous babbling. You both ... you both looked just fantastically happy. I think that's gonna play really well."

"Especially since that's a look people haven't seen on me in a long time?" said Justin a little ruefully. "No offense Dave because you were amazing and fantastic yourself, but wow am I glad that's over."

"Me too," Nick said, still hiding. "And that bitch on the phone, maybe we can kill her? Just a little? Nobody should talk to Justin like that. And you were great, Dave, telling her off like that, and can you believe George Michael called in too?" His mind was still spinning a little. "I think I'm still babbling," he decided. "I think I need a really big drink."

"No one's killing anyone," said Dave easily. "She will, as we say, be tried in the court of public opinion. Believe me, guys, people have called in before to say things like that to *me*. Feels like shit, but ends up getting more people on *your* side. So about that drink ... "

"*Big* drink," emphasized Justin. "For both of us. And baby, you can babble at me any time you like. It's cute."

"You're the cute one," Nick grumbled lightly, finally raising his head to smile at Justin. "You're the one got asked out by that guy on the phone. I want to kill him too. He was nice, but he was *hitting* on you! With me right here! Talk about balls."

Dave chuckled. "I'm just surprised it only happened once. You two look great, you look happy and healthy and good. You might just be my prettiest interview ever." He grinned at them, and stood up. "I've gotta go do some post-show stuff. Wrapup and everything. I can meet you out, or you can wait here, whatever you like."

"I think we need a little downtime before we do *any*thing," said Justin before Nick could answer. "And I need to make a couple calls. Any problem if we take over the green room for a while?"

"Hey, be my guests," he said. "Not like anyone else is using it right now. Don't leave any stains, and I'll meet you there just as soon as I can."

Nick grimaced at him, but followed Justin meekly, still not letting go of him. As soon as they reached the green room, he closed the door decisively, and pulled Justin more-or-less into his lap on the big couch. "Don't make calls just yet. Sit here with me, okay? Just for a minute?" He breathed out a huge sigh.

"I'm not going to call yet," Justin assured him. "I have no intention of calling anyone yet. That went ... " He seemed to be groping for words, and Nick would have been too. It wasn't an easy thing to nail down. "It was fantastic, mostly ... and there wasn't anything we weren't expecting. We may not have liked it, but at least we were ready for it. Well, except the getting hit on thing."

"You're too sexy for my own good," Nick said, smiling up at him a little. "I think...I don't remember anything bad, except the phone lady and trying not to laugh when Dave called us 'the hunky heartthrobs.' And you handled the Alicia question so well, baby. Not even a twich, you were amazing. I think the whole thing...it couldn't really have gone any better than it did. We done good. Now I've just gotta figure out some way to put a sign on you, to stop the flirting."

"Only if there's a matching one for you," said Justin firmly. "I think I just kinda went numb, for the Alicia question. I was halfway expecting her to *call*, that's just the kind of thing she'd do. Everything else was easy, compared to what dealing with *that* would've been like. Actually ... I probably would have laughed. I'm not sure how well that would've gone over."

Nick stared at him, horrified. "I didn't even think of that. She could have called. My *mom* could have called. Jesus, I didn't even realize..." He shook his head. "Well, they didn't, thank god, and that's what matters. I don't think I could've laughed. Passed out, maybe, but not laughed." He squeezed Justin closer. "I want to see the tape. I was too nervous to pay attention to how things were going, how we looked, when it was happening. You wanna call Joey? See what he thought?" His own phone had Howie's number on speed dial, and he was curious, too.

Justin glanced at his watch and nodded his head. "He's had enough time to take care of Bree by now. No way was she staying up any *later* than this. Just this, first." He pulled Nick closer again and they kissed, a *lot* more deeply than they'd done for the cameras.

Nick wrapped his arms low on Justin's hips, and pulled him fully onto his thighs, moaning as bodyweight pressed into his groin and the hardness there. "Fuck, Justin," he sighed, fingers digging into Justin's ass as he tensed. "Fuck." He nipped at Justin's mouth, the dry taste of powder just a faint trace against his tongue.

Justin let out a faint moan as he rubbed his body against Nick's, but then he stopped. "We can't," he whispered. "Not here, someone could come. And ... it's still too new, baby. No more public stuff for a while, huh?"

"No, I know," Nick sighed, stilling his hands and leaning his head back against the couch. "You're just...I can't help it. You're so gorgeous." He smiled a little, and licked his lips, searching for traces of Justin-taste. "When we get back to Joey's, we are *so* gonna pick this up again, though. I *want* you."

Justin just smiled at him as he slid most of the way back off his lap again. "We will," he promised. "I think there isn't much left that's gonna freak me out, after this." He wasn't freaking out yet, though; Nick wondered if it was yet to come. "Make your call. I'll find out what the plan is for tonight."

"You're so calm. It's amazing me." Nick kissed him one last time, then dialed. Howie was ecstatic, shouting in his ear with other voices in the background, giving smacking kisses to the phone, and by the time Nick hung up again he knew there was a huge grin on his face. Justin was laughing into his own phone, and Nick propped his chin on his hand and just watched him. He was glowing.

"Really?" he said, for probably the fifth time. "Really do you think so? Really really?" He laughed again, and reached out for Nick's hand. "Okay, so it would be totally cool. Gina wouldn't have to worry that you were gonna pick someone up. Um, not that you would, of course!"

Nick folded their fingers together, and grinned at Justin snorted and kept laughing, even as he said his goodbyes and closed the phone. "That sounded good," Nick commented. "He's coming out, huh? How did Bree like it? Did he think we looked okay? Howie was too busy squealing in my ear to give me much of a critique."

"He was really impressed," said Justin. "And I trust Joey's judgment. He says Bree has questions, though, for us. So yeah, we should be ready for that tomorrow. We're supposed to call him when we finally get somewhere and he'll show up, since I had no idea where we were going. Where are we going?"

"I don't think we ever decided. That Velvet place, I guess, at least to start, Joey can meet us there, huh? Dave said the drinks were good. I could use a good drink. Damn, I'm glad he liked it, even if Bree has questions. Couldn't he have answered those himself? *I* don't know what he wants his kid to know about gay relationships."

"I'm guessing that Briahna wanted to ask *us*," said Justin. "I'm sure he answered a hundred more himself while they were watching it together. But we can worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, yeah, that sounds good to me. Let me just scrub this make-up off ... unless you like it enough to make it worth my while that I keep it on ..."

Nick laughed. "No, no, I'm a big fan of all-natural Justin. I've gotta wash up, too, foundation makes me break out. Still." He sighed, and scrubbed at his cheek, pushing off the couch and strolling into the small bathroom. "Keiko uses the good stuff. I don't think this'll come off without a hammer."

Justin actually joined him in there, wrapping his arms around Nick's waist from behind. "You look good," he said. "And not in the 'leave it on' way or anything, you just look good. Whenever. I'm glad we did this together, Nick."

"I sure wouldn't have done it without you," Nick said wryly, wetting a cloth and running it over his face. "You look pretty good yourself, you know. Only I can't see you blush under the makeup, and that's not good." He swiped at Justin's cheek with the cloth. "Quick, scrub up, so we can run. I think I'm gonna stay tense as long as we're in this building."

Justin grabbed the cloth and then "Ow, ow, motherfucker. Nick, can you grab me my bag? The one I brought my change of clothes in? Tell me it's still out there ... "

"What? Ow?" Nick stared at him, worried. "Yeah, I think it's still there. You're getting changed? What's wrong with that?" He moved towards the door, looking for the small duffel Justin had brought with him.

"No, no, I just got some of the eye crap in my eye," he said, wincing. "I need to take my contacts out, like, now. This always fucking happens when I try to take my own make-up off ... "

"That used to happen to me all the time. Now I don't open my eyes when I'm scrubbing..." Nick tossed the bag into the bathroom, and leaned on the door, watching Justin. "Your eye keeps watering like that, you're gonna lose a contact. Do you have stuff? Your glasses?"

"Yeah, they're in the bag is all," he said, groping through it. "I guess I'll learn. I'm just really not used to it yet." He found what he was looking for and fished his contacts out of his eyes, chucking them in the trash. "Not really worried about losing them, though. At least, not once they're *out* of my eyes."

Nick watched quietly as Justin finished up with his eyes, sliding his glasses on and finishing with his face wash. He was damp and pink when he finally stood up straight again, and Nick smiled at him in the mirror. "Cute," he commented, reaching for him again. "I'm gonna need a bigger sign than I thought, to keep all those other boys away from you."

"I don't think we're going to run into any trouble," laughed Justin, starting to maybe relax a little. "We're both kinda big and hulking. Well, you mostly. People aren't going to mess with us. Especially if I keep, like, kissing you all the time. I think everyone in the whole world knows we're together now."

"Pretty much," Nick agreed, biting his lip a little against the momentary wish to be small and delicate, like JC maybe, or even Howie. "It'll be hard to get you away when I'm hanging on as tight as I will be, no matter how big and hulking I am. Not too much kissing, though, if we're gonna be keeping it non-sexy. It's not fair to tease." He grinned at Justin, and wiped a drop of water from his temple. "Us being together won't stop some of those guys. Believe me."

"I guess you'd know better than I would," admitted Justin, turning toward him and resting his arms loosely around Nick's waist again. "I'm not gonna give in on the kissing, though. I'm feeling some pretty incredible and strong things toward you right now and ... well, that's kinda the only way I have right now to express them."

"Okay," Nick said softly, smiling at him. "You kiss me all you want, then, and I'll just try to keep my hands from wandering. Believe me, I'll never say no to kisses." He leaned in and kissed Justin in illustration, stroking his shoulders and arms. "See? I can be a good boy. Now, let's go be good boys out in public, and let Dave buy us some drinks, okay?"

"Hello?" they heard someone call from the outer doorway. Dave, Nick figured, but the voice was muffled a little by the distance. "Anyone in here?"

"We're in the bathroom, Dave," said Justin, keeping Nick right exactly where he was, and kissing him firmly.

Nick groaned softly, and controlled himself with an effort, not reaching for Justin's hair or ass or any of his tempting body. He finally pulled away a little, breathing hard, feeling heat in his face. "Okay, that was just mean," he accused softly, stroking the soft skin of Justin's wrist.

"Well, get out here," Dave called, laughter clear in his voice. "Remove your lips from each other, boys, there's a big city out there."

"We're just talking!" protested Justin, giving Nick's ass a gentle caress. "Nothing bad going on in here, no siree." And still he held Nick there for a few more moments, grinning at him.

"Just put your clothes back on and get your cute asses out here," Dave called back at him. "Did we decide where I'm buying you two those beers?"

"We're totally dressed," Nick said indignantly. "We like you, but not enough to put on a show like that. And we're going to that Velvet place that Keiko likes, he said it was cool. If that's okay?" He pulled away with one last soft touch, and opened the bathroom door. Dave was lounging against the couch, looking amused.

"That's fine. I've even got a limo waiting, and the crowd's a lot smaller, since it's late. The two of you probably have some new fans, though. Be prepared for some serious adoration."

"I was just taking my make-up off," said Justin as they slunk out of the bathroom a little guiltily. "And taking my contacts out. And Nick was ... helping." Then he gave Dave a bit of a grin. "I think," he added, "that adoration is something we both have a little bit of experience with. Not to be cocky about it or anything."

Dave rolled his eyes, and laughed a little. "Well, yeah, but at least now the screams won't be *quite* as high-pitched. Come on, lovebirds. We'll go give Page Six something to write about."

"No, we're gonna be good," Nick insisted stubbornly. "Mostly, anyway. No more public humping, anyway, that's what got us into this in the first place! Not that it's not great, Dave, you doing this and everything, but it woulda been nice to *choose* to come out."

"Well, you made it look like a choice," said Dave, quite seriously. "The whole interview, you made it look like a choice. That's part of what made it so great, what made it so powerful. You're gonna make waves, guys, no doubt about it."

Nick never had, though it was a surprise and a relief to hear *that* was how the interview had come off, in the end. It was true, though, they hadn't done any whining about being outed, and Dave hadn't done anything to take the conversation in that direction either.

"We'll be good," Justin assured him, too. "Mostly. But we're gonna have some fun."

"There's no doubt about *that*." Dave walked between them, a hand on each of their backs, as they headed down the hallway. "You deserve it, after all this. I thought you were gonna throw up right before we went on air, Nick. Thank you for not doing that, it's hard on the set." He nodded at their security as it fell in around them by the door.

"I guess it kind of was a choice, in a way," Nick commented. "I mean. We didn't *have* to get all grindy on the dance floor. And it's not like AJ and Kevin didn't tell us about the cameras."

"We knew what we were doing," said Justin quietly, insisting on that like he always had. It was something else that had never explicity come up on camera. Or with Dave, for that matter. "We knew they were there, and we did it anyway. We knew what could happen."

"Could happen, did happen, it's a done deal now," said Dave. "And you guys did great. You earned this night out. So let's go out and have some fun."

* * *

It had taken *three* drinks, not one, but Nick was finally starting to relax, even with the crowds of curious onlookers and the occasional outright stare. It helped that most of the glances were appreciative and approving, and the stares more like leers, really. Justin was tucked up against his side, Dave was telling a story about Ashley Angel that was making him laugh, and even the music was nice. He let himself breathe deep, and...almost jumped out of his skin when a big hand touched his shoulder.

"Hey, guys." Joey grinned down at them all. "Room for one more?"

"About damn time!" said Justin as Dave slid over a seat to let Joey sit down. "I was starting to get worried! Well no ... not really. But I *was* wondering."

"Bree kept getting out ot bed," he confessed, "and even though someone was there, I didn't feel right about leaving until she was sleeping. So wow, how's it going, guys?"

"Good," Nick said, a little too loudly, but hell. He was allowed to be a little tipsy. "It's good! All the hot guys are looking at us, Joey, can you tell? They're all jealous, I bet." He giggled. "We're famous. I mean, we were before, but we're really famous now, again. The waitress said they had the interview on the TVs at the bar, here, and that people were clapping and stuff. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Hell, *I* was practically clapping when you guys kissed," said Joey. "And Bree was absolutely delighted. I didn't think she'd understand everything that was being said, but I've got one bright little girl there. She likes you guys. She wanted to stay up until you got home, but the sleepies finally caught up with her." He gave Dave a friendly elbow. "So how are *you* doing? Long time no see."

"Oh, you know." Dave grinned at Joey, and slapped him on the shoulder. "Same old, same old. Interviews, fighting the network, more interviews, party. When are you gonna come on, Fatone? We've been trying to schedule you for months, now."

"Eh. Sometime when I'm not doing eight shows a week, maybe," Joey grimaced. "This is the first time I've been out in a month. Couldn't miss the big coming out party, though." He winked at Justin.

"Thanks, Joey," said Justin sincerely, giving him an affectionate smile. "You know what you need? A drink. I bet you don't get out to play with the grown-ups much these days, especially with Gina gone."

"If I buy you a drink, will you come on the show?" teased Dave, gesturing for someone to bring another of what he was having, for Joey. "Seriously, we should work something out. Now that you've seen what kind of work I can do when I have great subjects."

"Watch out, Joey," Nick said in a loud, conspiratorial whisper. "He's dangerous when he's flattering you." He laughed and dodged the napkin Dave tossed at his head, pulling Justin in front of him as a shield. "No! No throwing things at me!"

"I think the stress has snapped his little mind," Joey declared solemnly, taking his drink with clear gratitude. "Thanks, man. We'll talk about it, and this is a great way to convince me. I adore that girl, I do, but every once in a while it's *nice* to go out with people who don't ask 'why' every three seconds."

"Why?" asked Justin cheekily, then grinned, leaning back against Nick's shoulder for a moment enabling Nick to give his temple a light kiss. "You're a lucky man, though, Joey. That's all I'm gonna say about that." As he moved back into his own seat again he gave Nick a look that he couldn't quite read, and couldn't even really venture a guess about given the subject at hand.

"When's the next one due, anyway?" asked Dave. "It's gotta be getting pretty close now ... "

"A month," Joey nodded, looking a little panicked for a moment. "Very soon. No more sleep for me at all, if I remember correctly, and I do." He took another long drink. "But Gina's doing great, and the baby's perfectly healthy, and that's all I can ask for. I *am* lucky, don't think I don't know it."

"Wow," Nick sighed. "Two. That's so amazing, Joey." He linked his fingers with Justin's under the table, glaring a little at the guy at the next table over who was looking at Justin a bit *too* hard. "You've got a whole *family*."

"Always did," said Joey, giving Justin a little smile. "They're just littler now is all. And I get to do the diaper thing all over again." He gave them a dramatic sigh. "You guys sure you don't want to pick up and move to New York and take care of all that?"

Nick might've said yes to that but Justin spoke first. "You haven't seen my house yet, Joey," he said fervently. "I'm never ever moving again. It's fantastic. Nick, babe, what are you looking at?" He looked back over his shoulder, trying to see.

"Nothing," Nick grumbled a little, averting his eyes and taking a drink. "Just thought I saw someone I knew." He looked at Joey, smiling again. "Once Justin gets settled in--his house really is gorgeous, you gotta come see--maybe we could come help? I love babies. I don't even mind diapers, I got lots of practice with Brian's kid. "

"Don't turn down an offer like that, Joe," Dave advised gravely. "You ain't gonna see me volunteering to change diapers, and I live eight blocks away from you."

"At least I know you can handle a bottle, though, Dave," said Joey, elbowing him again. "You can handle it going in and they can handle it going out and I can sit and supervise. Or hey, Bree can supervise and I can ... I can cook. Or something."

"*Nick* can handle the diapers," clarified Justin. "Did I tell you he wants kids?"

"Okay a dozen times," grinned Joey.

"Oh man," said Dave. "Really? I totally could've used that on the show ... "

"No, no," Nick protested, watching the conversation fire back and forth like a game of ping pong. "That's private. That's, like...someday, if I wanna adopt, I might...being a big celebrity and talking about it all the time could hurt that. So, no, no interviews. Okay?"

"Okay," Dave said calmly, and Nick wondered just how much his tone of voice had revealed. "That'll be off the record as long as you want." Nick nodded at him gratefully and leaned against Justin a bit more.

"Thanks man," said Justin, sounding just as grateful. "You'll be the first guy we call, once we bring a little tyke home and decide we're gonna talk about it. Till then ... yeah. You just keep talking to Joey about his rugrats."

"And you *know* I'm always willing to talk about them," said Joey, drawing the kid attention back to him.

Dave was watching them sharply, though, even as he laughed at Joey's story about Briahna's antics in preschool. When Justin was occupied with hailing another waiter, he leaned close to Nick. "Justin sounds pretty convinced that it's a done deal, the two of you having kids together. That's pretty quick, for such a big deal."

"I know," Nick said shortly, not willing to talk about it, even with Dave. "Baby, get me another one too?" He smiled at Justin, poking him in the shoulder. "This time I want something green."

"Something green?" said Justin with a grin, glancing at him before turning back to the waiter. "Okay then, something green. Suprrise him, because I'm not an expert on green drinks, unless it's food colouring in beer and even then, it doesn't really turn it green ... more of a puce, really ... " The waiter smirked at him before leaving to get their order.

In the meantime, though, Dave was still watching him, watching both of them. Nick didn't think he'd heard the end of it yet, and he definitely wasn't ready to discuss it. Not with anyone but Justin, and it seems to him that it was a conversation they were going to need to have.

"I can't believe you just asked for a green drink, Carter," laughed Joey. "I'm not gonna forget this."

"It's a lucky color," Nick said, letting a wounded tone slip into his voice, grateful for the distraction. "Plus it goes with this shirt, and it's important to accessorize, you know." He grinned at Justin as Joey collapsed in laughter.

"Oh, you'll fit right in, here," Dave said, finally relaxing again and shooting Nick a wink. "You'll probably just get a margarita, so I hope you're feeling like something icy. You guys gonna stay here all night, do you think?"

"Oh, we have other plans for at least part of the night," said Justin immediately, then seemed to realize what he'd said and blushed. "I mean ... oh hell, you know exactly what I mean. Those drinks here yet?"

"No." Nick hid his embarrassed grin against Justin's shoulder. "Thanks, J, I really needed a good red-faced moment there."

"Oh, whatever," Joey said good-naturedly. "It's not like we didn't know. You two are the grabbiest couple I've ever seen, and I can tell you're trying to be good. It's cute."

Nick groaned, and let his hand settle on Justin's waist. It wasn't his fault, he just couldn't help touching Justin. "I don't wanna go dancing," he decided, and he didn't. He wanted to go back to Joey's.

"No," agreed Justin, hiding his own face still, with his hand. "I think we'll just have another couple of drinks here with you guys. We have other ways ... wait, nope, *not* going there again. Those drinks getting here soon?"

"Drinks are here," smirked Dave. "And not to put a damper on your embarassment there, but I was already pretty sure you guys were doing the nasty, you know. It's a hell of a shame if you're not."

"God," Nick protested, finally raising his head to glare at them all impartially. "Okay, everybody get their minds out of my bedroom, right now. We've only been dating like three days, you guys!"

"Three very busy days," Joey said imperturbably. "Sex is a natural and wonderful part of life, Nick, haven't you heard? Don't be embarrassed. I'm sure you two have a fantastic time in the sack. Frankly, I'm a little surprised you haven't spent more time there, since you got here."

Nick felt like beating his head against the table, until he heard Justin start giggling, then laughing. "Only for lack of opportunity," he said. "Well, that and the fact that *this is my first boyfriend*, in case you guys have forgotten ... "

"Oh, we haven't," said Dave. "But seems to me that's all the more reason. You're twentisomething guys with twentisomething sex drives ... "

"I believe Nick said *out* of the bedroom," laughed Justin. "But for the record, yes, we do have a fantastic time in the sack. Thanks for your interest."

"I just want to make sure my little bro's happy," Joey smirked, as Nick whapped Justin's shoulder in protest.

"Don't tell them! They're just...they're voyeurs. Dave especially. Talk about something else, right now!" He felt himself fall into a pout as Dave and Joey just kept laughing. "Fine. I'll just tell you all about his mouth, and the way when I lick his hipbo-" He broke off when Justin's palm covered his mouth, and widened his eyes at Justin innocently.

"Okay, I think we've had enough fun," said Joey with a dramatic sigh. "You guys are bright red. What happened to the days when you used to come to me with *detailed* stories about your conquests. Well, not you, Nick."

"It's different now," said Justin. "Everything's different now is all. Mmmm, this is a great drink. Nick, how's your drink? Hey, what are you looking at *this* time?"

"That guy's staring at us and not in a nice way," Nick said, frowning a little. "Oh, he's gone now. Whatever. Um, I hope he didn't tell you all those details in *public*, Joey, because man, I think the rumor mill would have been a lot more juicy about you." He kept an eye out for the guy, but didn't see him again. He'd have to be crazy to start anything in here anyway, with both of them and Joey and Dave, not to mention the guards. "My drink's good. It's very...green." He grinned at Justin.

"It's definitely very green," Justin had to agree, staring at the drink. "And he was probably just trying to flirt with you. Don't guys have really bizarre mating rituals sometimes? Guys who aren't me, I mean. I'm pretty traditional."

"You're pretty *what*?" laughed Joey. "Okay, man. Whatever you say."

"No, he kind of is," Nick protested. "Like, about dating, and things..." he trailed off, blushing a little again. "Nevermind. That guy wasn't flirting. Guy mating rituals aren't *that* bizzare, I can tell the difference between flirting and, like, scowling. He's gone now, though."

"I was real traditional when I first switched over, too," Dave said sagely. "Women trained me well."

"Yeah?" said Justin, looking interested in what Dave had to say about it. "Because I guess that's what I'm doing, doing what I would do with a woman. I don't know anything else right now. So what changed for you, then?"

"Eh, I just relaxed about it," Dave shrugged. "Most guys don't give as much of a shit about things like flowers and dates and saying the exact right thing. Some do, of course, so you gotta be careful or it can bite you on the ass. But you'll probably find a lot more guys into for no-strings sex, if you're looking."

"He's not," Nick said immediately and firmly. "Well, he said. And I don't mind the traditional thing a bit, you can just keep doing what you're doing, Justin. It's working great so far."

"Awww, they're so fucking cute, huh?" said Joey, draining his drink.

Justin was ignoring him, though, and looking at Nick. "I'm glad you like it," he said. "It's the only thing I know how to do." Then he leaned in for a kiss and Nick was *sure* he heard something, from behind them.

"*What?*" He whipped around in his seat, and the guy from earlier was right there. "What did you say?"

"I said, fucking fags like you should at least have the decency to keep it behind closed doors." The guy was clearly wasted, but Nick couldn't bring himself to care through the sudden rushing sound in his ears. He was up and in the guy's face before he could blink, a hand fisted in his shirt, shouting something *he* couldn't even understand.

"Nick. Nick!" he heard Justin saying and he felt like there was a tug at his own shirt but he didn't care, that could wait. This fuck deserved what was coming to him. It took a lot of fucking here to come into a place like this and say that, and say it to *them* ...

"Nick man ... " It was Dave that time. "It's cool. Let someone else handle it."

"Yeah," the guy said. "Back off, pretty boy."

"Oh, *fuck* no," he breathed, and his fist connected with nose with a satisfying crunch. Then someone really *was* pulling him backwards, and there was a flurry of motion, and he struggled briefly, but there were too many hands holding him. "*Fucker*," he snarled. "Don't you ever call him that, you hear me? I'll kick your fucking *ass!*

"Goddamnit," Joey's voice was in his ear, a little breathless. "Calm the fuck down, Carter!"

Nick was *not* going to calm down, not while the fucker was still standing there, bleeding but looking satisfied at the same time. But also being pulled out by his own friends, who didn't look particularly impressed by his antics. If Nick could just get the fuck *away* though there was time for a shot to the gut. Something to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Nick ... Nick please ... " he heard Justin saying. "Nick!"

"What?" He finally looked away, and stopped yanking his arm against Joey's hold. "That guy...did you hear?...fucker, he's getting away..." He stopped raving when he took in Justin's pale face, Joey's sympathetic frown, and Dave's shaking head. Joey pushed him back towards his seat, and he only resisted a little.

"I heard," said Justin quietly. "I heard, Nick, I just ... he's not worth it baby. He's not worth it. Just ... "

"Nick, man, sit down and finish your drink," said Dave. "It's over."

"Fuck," Nick muttered one last time, before collapsing into his seat and poking moodily at his drink, his muscles still jumping with adrenaline. He stared at his skinned knuckles blankly.

"Drink your drink," Joey said, and Nick reacted instinctively to the hint of sternness, raising it to his mouth. "And relax. No more fighting, or you'll get a time out." His lips were quirking a little when Nick looked at him, disbelieving.

Justin, though ... Justin was still watching the door nervously, and watching all the people who were now watching *them*. "That could've been bad ... " he murmured. "Everyone's ... but he didn't cause a scene at least. More of a scene. And no one's asked us to leave..."

"A *time-out*?" Dave echoed Joey, a smile playing at his lips, too. "You're such a daddy."

"Isn't it sad?" Joey smacked Nick's shoulder, not gently, and sat back down. "Don't freak out, J. One punch, no harm done, no one's getting kicked out. And you, chill right out. One little scrap is no big deal, but if you make too much of a scene, people'll get pissed."

"I know it," Nick sighed, sucking on a sore knuckle, which he could suddenly feel. "I'm sorry. But he deserved it. Calling Justin a...and..." he trailed off, shaking his head, still angry.

"We heard him," said Dave, and Nick noticed he was a bit pissed off himself. As well he should be. "Believe me, a lot of people heard him, and a lot of people aren't too happy about it. But it's taken care of and there are a lot more interesting things we can be doing to make the papers. Yeah?" Well, Dave would know.

"Nick," said Justin carefully, taking his hand and kissing the sore knuckle. "Nick ... it's okay ... "

Nick let himself be distracted by the soft lips on his hand, and relaxed just another fraction. "It's not. I only hit him once," he complained, but softly, extending his finger to touch Justin's chin. "I think I need another drink."

"You're mighty quick with those fists." Joey motioned for a waiter but kept his eyes on Nick. "This better not be a regular occurence, Carter. I know you're a little stressed, but you can't just run around punching people. Even assholes."

"Maybe no more drinks," suggested Justin gently. "Maybe we go home and I give you another one of those awesome backrubs soon. How does that sound?"

"It's okay now," said Dave. "It's fine, it's over. Everyone else is going back to their business of staring and grinning at us; we can go back to our business too. You guys made a lot of people happy tonight. A lot of people proud."

"Soon," Nick smiled at Justin, stroking his face carefully. "That sounds perfect, baby. I'm sorry for...if it made you...I was just so mad."

"We could tell," Joey said dryly, but he raised his beer to them. "To Justin and Nick, who are very brave as well as cute, and who did a good thing today. Long may they live in bliss."

"I'll drink to that," said Dave enthusiastically, and as he lifted his own glass, Nick was pretty sure he heard a toast going up at nearby tables, too. But he was pretty concentrated on this one, especially on Justin was was finally calming down himself again.

"And to Joey and Dave," added Justin, "for everything they've done. Thanks guys."

"Eh." Joey waved him off with a grin. "You're family, which makes Nick some kind of family-in-law, at least at the moment, and I barely did anything anyway, besides keeping your boyfriend out of the slammer tonight." He toasted, though, when Nick insisted on lifting his glass.

"To you guys," he agreed with Justin. "Without your...support, whatever, I bet we'd be hiding in my basement right now. This is much better. And to Joey, who kept me out of jail." He was still a little resentful of that, but the sane part of him knew it was for the best, and he was honestly grateful. If only because Justin had looked so shocked.

"Yes," agreed Justin. "To not being in jail. It's a good way to be. Because I like you an awful lot, Nick, but I'm not sure I'd be willing to spend the night in a jail cell with you. Let's just ... not hit anyone anymore. k?"

Nick stiffened, frowning at him. "I'm not some violent criminal, you know. That guy was totally asking for it, being an asshole like that, *here*, tonight of all nights. I mean, I didn't just up and punch the guy out of the blue."

Joey patted his arm. "I know. Relax, dude, just let it go for right now. We can sign you up for anger management classes some other time." The glance he sent Nick was only half-joking, but Nick snorted and let it drop.

"I know you didn't, hon." said Justin, patting his arm with casual affection, relaxing even more. He really *had* been tense, before, Nick realized. "He was a real ass. But believe me, I bet he's not getting back in *here* again."

"Damn straight," said Dave. "So what's your plans for the rest of your time in the city, boys?"

"I dunno." Nick looked at Justin. "I'm kinda just along for the ride, here. It's Justin's vacation, really. I know I want to see more of Bree, and Joe, and if you're around it'd be cool to hang, Dave, and I definitely want to see Joey's show. But other than that..." He shrugged.

"I'll get you VIP tickets. How long *are* you staying? Just so I can plan the menu." Joey grinned at Justin. "I know how you eat, boy."

"Couple days," suggested Justin with a shrug. "Maybe a few? Depends on how it takes you to throw us out, I guess. And Nick needs to get back to class at some point, even though I pretty much have nothing to do. Except probably more interviews at some point, but I don't owe anyone anything ... "

"Justin's learning how to slack," Nick informed Joey and Dave, nodding when they laughed. "No, seriously. He's on an intensive de-stressing program that includes swimming, long walks on the beach, and lots of sex. And playing with my dogs and getting backrubs and cold beer. It's a very advanced program, but I'm pretty sure he'll do okay."

"Fuck, man, sounds good to me." Joey looked at Nick admiringly. "If you can get it to stick, more power to you. Jup's like the Energizer Bunny, right J? You could use some downtime, for once in your life."

"I've had *downtime*," protested Justin. "Kind of. A couple days here and there." He seemed to know how outnumbered he was, though, with all three of the others giving him knowing looks. "Okay, so I have no idea how to slack. So sue me. At least I'm learning from the best."

Dave laughed appreciatively. "He's got you there, Carter."

Nick shrugged and stretched luxuriantly, letting the last of *his* tension drain out as Justin kept relaxing. "Hey, I'm not ashamed. I live a pretty good life, with my slacker-ass self. I busted my butt for too many years, and missed out on too much of the good stuff, to not sit back and enjoy life now." His hand dropped over Justin's shoulder. "And now I have an apprentice. Life is perfect."

"An apprentice, huh?" said Justin, grinning at him and leaning closer. "Is that what I am? Does that make you my master?"

"Okay, wow, getting a little too kinky for me," snickered Joey, raising his hands and looking away in mock modesty.

"Not me," said Dave. "Do tell, boys. All the naughty things you would never tell me on the show."

"Sicko," Nick said mildly, cupping Justin's shoulder and nuzzling his ear. "I'm not talking until I get to *do* everything I want to with him, so both of you--you ain't fooling anyone, Joe--can just go away. I mean, I haven't even had a chance to lick him head to toe yet." He grinned at Justin, hoping the teasing would keep Justin far from any desire to freak out.

"Oh, that's a good one," Joey agreed, nodding clinically. "Don't forget the touching with your eyes closed, or the spooning, or the sixty-nining..."

"Shut *up*," laughed Justin, doign just as Nick had hoped. "We don't need pointers, believe me. I may not have done it with a guy before, but I'm pretty decent at turning people on, you know. I think I can figure out what I'm doing just fine on my own."

"Or with a little help from Nick," put in Dave.

"Right. With a little help from a naked Nick. So y'all can butt out." He seemed so, so pleased though that he was being teased, being treated probably like he always had been.

"Oooh, naked Nick," Dave leered at him playfully, and then ducked instinctively, laughing.

"That is for private viewing only," Nick said sternly, letting his fingers play on Jusitn's arm. "And Justin can turn me on just fine without any pointers at *all*, just so you know. I mean, look at him. So please, don't waste too much time worrying about us."

"Oh, we won't," Joey assured him, finishing his beer. "I'm just wondering if I should have invested in soundproofing for that room. Good thing you've got your own section of the house."

"Don't worry," said Justin, serious again. "We won't do anything to upset Briahna, or make her ask a bunch of awkward questions. Of course, she's already kinda doing that, huh? Sorry about that."

"No, no, don't be," he assured him. "I want her to know. If she's old enough to ask the kind of questions that she's asking, then she's old enough to get some kind of answer for them. Which still doesn't mean I really want her listening to you guys have sex, but it's ... a natural thing."

"She must have asked about you and Gina, too, when the baby news came, huh?" Nick sent Joey a look of gratitude. It couldn't be anything but helpful for Justin to hear that. "I promise, we won't be running through your halls naked or nothing. An' if she has any questions...I'll send her right back to you."

"Now that's not fair." Joey kicked at him a little. "But thank you for your consideration, with the nakedness. I can just see the headlines now: gay boyband orgy at the apartment of Joey Fatone!"

"God, no thanks," Nick groaned. He pulled Justin even closer. "Just one is enough for me. Speaking of." He put his lips to the soft skin right beneath Justin's ear, and breathed on him carefully.

"I think that's my signal that Nick want's to have sex now," said Justin bluntly, surprising them all. He smiled sweetly and turned to kiss Nick's lips, earning them some catcalls from nearby admirers. Of which there were more than a few.

"Hell of a floor show, guys," said Dave. "And I gotta say, it feels good, seeing you guys be able to do that. Congratulations, seriously."

Nick just kissed Justin again, stunned by his directness and blushing hotly. "Thanks," he finally murmured, twining his fingers in Justin's. "He was right, too. Um. Thanks for the drinks, for everything. J, do you have a key?"

"I'm gonna stay out for a while. Catch up with my good buddy Dave here." Joey grinned at them knowingly. "Let yourselves in, be quiet in the hall and don't make a mess. I'll wake you up for breakfast, or Bree will, so don't sleep naked. Night, kids."

Justin checked to make sure he had they key before they went anywhere. They could get past security to get into the building, but that wouldn't help them to get all the way inside, and the last thing he wanted to do was wake Bree or her nanny.

"Thanks, guys," he said as they got to their feet, a long road of congratulations ahead of them before they got out of the bar yet. "For everything."

Joey waved fondly, then turned it into another gesture for a waiter. Nick didn't let go of Justin's hand once the whole way home, even when they were paying for the cab or when Justin was opening the door. Now that everything was over, he was feeling a little shaky again, but hanging onto Justin helped.

"Don't forget," he whispered loudly by the front door. "Be vewy vewy quiet. Last thing we need is a little Briahna, up and rested and wanting to play."

"I want to play, too," said Justin. "Just not *that* kind of play. And I gotta be honest ... I'm not in any kind of shape to be answering questions." He lifted his other hand to show Nick; it was shaking. "I can't believe this. I really can't believe this."

"Hey." Nick raised his free hand and pressed his palm to Justin's, so that they were shaking together. "I'm freaking out too. I can't believe it. It's so quiet now I can hear myself think, and I'm not sure that's a good thing." He shut and locked the door very carefully, then tugged Justin down the dimly-lit hallway. "C'mon. Where we can talk without whispering."

"We'll still have to be quiet," Justin warned him, but the place was pretty damn big and Nick didn't think they'd have to be *that* quiet. Besides which whoever was there was probably sound asleep at this late hour. "I'm probably gonna freak out more tomorrow. Once I really realize we did it and we're out. Out out out. To everyone, everywhere."

"Everyone," Nick repeated, and shivered. "Everywhere. Oh god." He tugged at the buttons of his shirt as they reached the room door, pushed Justin inside and closed it, and leaned back against the door, trying to slow down his heartbeat. "Justin. Everybody knows. You're my boyfriend and everybody knows."

"Yeah," said Justin, staring at his hands for a minute. "Everyone. This is our life, from now on. With you and with me and with everyone knowing and *everything* changes now, Nick. It's not ... it's maybe not the biggest change ever, in my life, but it's big. Real big."

Nick kept leaning on the door and reached out, pulling Justin to stand between his legs. "It's okay. You don't have to do it by yourself. I don't either, we're both here. Thank god." He tried a smile for Justin, wrapping his arms around his waist, feeling his breath flutter under his hands. "It only gets better from here, I think."

"It seems pretty good right now," said Justin, touching Nick carefully, a lot more carefully than he had been all night. "You and me. I'm still a little blown away by how this is all happening. But let's just remember that it's just you and me in here right now, and everything else can be dealt with later."

"Okay," Nick said, touching him back just as carefully. "I think I can do that. You're not exactly hard to concentrate on, y'know." He slipped his hands under the hem of Justin's shirt like he'd wanted to since the interview, feeling the warm smoothness of his back. "I'm all nervous again, suddenly," he blurted suddenly. "It's stupid, like it's the first time or something."

"It kind of is," said Justin. "I mean. We're pretty new anyway. And I'm pretty new, period. To all of it. And something really big and life-changing happened tonight. It's like we're starting off in a whole new world." He laughed nervously. "Yeah, no pressure or anything. And I think I kinda like this world we're starting out in."

"Don't make me start singing Disney at you," Nick warned, scratching lightly at the small of Justin's back and grinning tightly. "Cause I will, and I bet Bree's got ears like radar for that shit. We'll just...we should just relax, right? Because it's not scary, it's nice, when we're together. I've been looking forward to it all night." He tugged Justin just a fraction closer.

"I don't know what *you* have to be scared of," said Justin, suddenly pulling Nick away and tumbling him onto the bed. You with the years and years of experience at this kind of thing. You should probably just seduce me, and put us back on familiar ground."

Nick laughed up delightedly at Justin, grabbing and rolling him over and over, thrilled that Justin was willing to play. He ended up panting and flushed, with Justin propped over him and between his legs, and he raised one leg and hooked it around Justin's waist. "I dunno. It looks like you're in the right position to do a little ravishing. You gonna have your wicked way with me?"

"I think just right now I'm gonna lie here and stare at you, actually," said Justin, and then he *did*. He did look at him, up and down, peeking inside clothing and around corners and just *everywhere* and smiling the whole time. "And thing about how amazingly lucky I am that I fell into this, even when things are tough. We can make this work."

Nick was still giggling helplessly, twisting under Justin's fingers. "I'm the lucky one," he argued finally, when Justin stopped moving. "I mean, I'm the luckiest guy in the world, right now." He ran his hands up Justin's arms, pushing sleeves out of his way. "We *are* making it work. Even with everything going on like it is. Pretty cool, huh?"

"We've kinda been go go go for the last while," said Justin, taking a deep breath and then letting it out slowly over Nick's neck. "It's time to breath a little. Not think, not right now, just ... breathe. And fool around." He slipped his fingers up under Nick's shirt. "You ticklish here, huh?"

"HEE!" Nick bucked and twisted again, but carefully not hard enough to throw Justin off. "Stoppit, hey!" Justin's fingers hit a sensitive spot and he *squeaked*, flushing with embarrassment as Justin laughed. "How am I supposed to breathe if you're tickling me, huh? That's not fair even a little bit." He retaliated by tightening his leg on Justin's waist, pulling him even closer and bumping their hips together. "Less tickling, more fooling around now, please."

"It makes you squirm against me," said Justin, tackling the other side. "Doesn't that count as fooling around?" It certainly was rubbing their bodies together in all kinds of ways. But it still wasn't *fair*.

Nick shouted with laughter, and finally started tickling in return, burrowing his hands under Justin's shirt and digging fingers into his ribs. "Now it's fair," he gasped triumphantly, as Justin squealed. "Now who's squirming?" He was laughing too hard to have any strength in his arms, though, and Justin grabbed his hands away fairly easily, pinning his wrists to the bed beside his head. Nick hiccuped a few times, and smiled up at Justin, wiggling his fingers. "You got me. What are you gonna do with me now?"

"Shut you up," laughed Justin. "We're gonna wake Bree up any moment now if we don't, and then we won't be able to do *any*thing." He leaned in and kissed him, and there were only a couple of ways Nick thought might have been as good or better to silence him. And they all required being naked.

With his wrists pressed firmly to the bed, Nick couldn't twist his fingers in those tempting curls the way he wanted to, so he contented himself with kissing back as deeply and thoroughly as he knew how. He tasted Justin's tongue, encouraging him with the little sounds that he couldn't hold in, and rocked his body gently up into Justin's. "Much better," he whispered, when he could finally breathe again.

"Yeah, I thought you might appreciate that," said Justin. "Your massage is going to have to wait; I think I want to kiss you some more right now. And then do some other things that everyone seems to think we've done already."

"Yeah?" Nick's voice caught a little in his throat, and he couldn't look away from Justin's eyes. "What other things do you have in mind?" He pulled one wrist out of Justin's grasp, and traced his fingers down Justin's neck and shoulder and back, finally stroking his waist before slipping lower to touch his ass gently.

"Dunno," said Justin, squirming a little as Nick touched him. Nick couldn't tell what he was thinking, but his *body*, at least, seemed to be responding the right way. "Something quiet. Something nice. Something a little dirty. Something I haven't done?"

"Something naked?" Nick suggested with a grin, tugging suggestively at the hem of his shirt. "Because I could, like, lick your eyebrow and that would qualify under all those other categories, but honestly, I'd like to suck your cock at some point this evening." He dipped his fingers into Justin's waistband, stroking the hotter, smoother skin there, still watching his reaction carefully. "And maybe...we can do fingers again? If you want?"

Justin looked faintly embarrassed, but he nodded pretty quickly anyway. "I might have to bite your shoulder to keep quiet," he warned him, which definitely wasn't a *threat*. "Lots of people do this. It's nothing to be weird about," he murmured. It took Nick a second to realize he was talking to himself.

"J, no, we don't have to if you don't want to," he said as gently as he could, still rubbing his fingers gently at the very top of Justin's ass, dipping his fingers only lightly into the cleft. "It's nothing to be weird about, but if you're not comfortable yet, there's tons of other stuff we can do. How 'bout we get naked and just...go where we go?"

Justin nodded again. "I will, though," he said. "I'm not gonna be comfortable until I do it some more. And I know it's not weird. I know that. I look at you and at Dave and at everyone in the club and at everyone I've ever known and I know it's not weird. I just need to get used to it."

"Okay. We'll go slow. Okay? As slow as you want. No weirdness." Nick pulled his hand free, bringing Justin's shirt with it and tugging it gently over his head. "Some people never get to like that, and that's okay too, that's normal. Don't compare yourself to me and Dave and everyone, the only one who knows what *you* like is you." He popped Justin's jeans button, smiling up at him.

Justin laughed nervously, pressing his face to Nick's neck as soon as his shirt was gone. "You already know I like it," he reminded him. "I may not be, you know, entirely comfortable with it. But I like how it feels well enough. When I let myself. So you should push me a little, about this. I'm giving you permission."

Nick smiled into Justin's hair, managing to get his pants unfastened without seeing his hands. "Okay. But you be sure to push back, if it ever gets too much. I promise I won't mind." He shoved Justin's jeans down his hips, taking the opportunity to stroke his skin as softly as he could. "Help me out here?"

"Help *me* out," countered Justin. "I think I might be too nervous to strip you, which would really foul this whole thing up. I don't know why I ever thought the stripping part was always sexy. It just gets in the way of the really good stuff."

"Unless there's music and dancing with the stripping," Nick argued, sliding capably out of his own clothes as soon as Justin gave him space. "But yeah, mostly it's just a hassle." He settled himself down to his back as soon as he was bare, pulling Justin closer again. "Don't be nervous. We've done this before, we've gotten all naked and grindy before. It's good, remember?"

"Oh, believe me, I haven't forgotten," Justin assured him. "It's just ... no matter how much has happened, it still hasn't been very long. Really. And I haven't done this much. But yeah, after going through what we did today, I'm ready for the payoff. Yes."

Nick raised his eyebrows a little at the thought of being 'payoff', but smiled and settled his hands on the dip at the small of Justin's back. "Well, here we are. I can tell you're happy to be here." Justin had settled back into the cradle of Nick's hips, and the warm slide of skin was incredibly distracting and was making Nick's heart pound hard. He raised his head just far enough to put his mouth to Justin's throat, sucking lightly on his adams apple.

"Remember, quiet," murmured Justin, stroking his hand lightly up Nick's arms and then clutching at him. "No interruptions. Just us for a little while, like it should be at first. No one else to make things any more complicated than they already are."

Nick muttered something wordless, his mouth busy tasting Justin. He let his hands drift lower, too, down over curves and then the top of Justin's thighs, pulling him a little higher against Nick's body. "Just us," he managed to get out. "Just you."

"What you could do," said Justin, just a little awkwardly, "would be to maybe remind me every once in a while that I don't need to think tonight. There'll be enough thinking and talking tomorrow. Just every once in a while. So we can both totally enjoy this."

"With any luck, and hopefully at least a *little* skill, you won't be thinking too much," Nick said, pulling back and holding still. "At least, if we're doing it right. You don't have to think tonight. It's just us, Justin. It'll be okay." He reached up and kissed Justin gently, trying to remind him that things were good between them, that there wasn't anything to worry about.

"I know that," he said calmly. "Just remind me, every once in a while. Just to be sure." And then he was moving, rubbing himself against Nick and not looking the least bit hesitant about it. As if he'd reached some kind of peace with himself about what he was doing.

"Okay," Nick said, startled but pleased, and moved his hands again, cupping Justin's ass in his palms and feeling the muscles bunch as he ground against him. Justin's cock was pressing hard and hot into his belly, and Justin was braced up on his hands, lip caught between white teeth as his face shifted into an intent wanting look. "Oh god," Nick breathed, and let his fingers drift lower.

"No god, just me," murmured Justin, sliding against him again and again. "Shhhh," he added, leaning in to give Nick a hard kiss. It was already so damn hard to stay quiet though. He would've just said fuck it, and made as much noise as he wanted, if there wasn't the chance that the knock at their door wouldn't come from a grownup telling them to keep it down but from a little girl who'd want to know what was happening. Timbatonal direct connection is closed.

"We're...way down the hall," Nick gasped out, between fierce, biting kisses that left his mouth feeling hot and swollen. "She won't hear. I bet. I'll try." He couldn't suppress the moan, though, when his fingers dipped into the muggy heat between Justin's thighs. "I dunno how quiet I can be," he confessed a little desperately. "You kind of make my brain stop."

"You gotta be," murmured Justin. "We gotta be. She's ... she's a little girl and if you want a little girl of your own someday you gotta know that they hear everything. Now ... oh god ... do that some more ... "

"Uh-huh," Nick agreed in an almost-silent voice. "I can do that. Okay, J." He touched the insides of Justin's thighs, pulling them apart until they spread over his own, feeling the fine tremor in his muscles. Then his fingers were back in that tempting soft place, touching silky skin and feathering over the opening to Justin's body, and Nick buried his face in Justin's shoulder and whimpered.

"Careful with me," he whispered, managing to keep quiet, at least for now. And Nick would be, of course he would be, he wouldn't do anything Justin didn't want. But Justin had been clear about wanting this, and clear about wanting to be pushed, just a little, if he had some second thoughts.

"Do you...where's the lube?" Nick asked quietly, still teasing with his fingers a little but not going any further, and urging Justin to keep rocking against him. "I'll be so careful with you, remember the last time, when you were shaking and screaming and feeling so so good, just remember that, okay? Remember how much I like doing it, too, how much I want to. Once we find the lube."

"Lube?" said Justin hesitantly. "I didn't ... I never thought of lube ... I've never had to before. Shit. Did you?"

"'Course I did. It's in my bag, I just thought maybe you had some closer." Nick was reluctant to stop touching Justin, though...he was finally relaxing into Nick's touch, starting to push back almost as much as he was thrusting forward, and that momentum was precious. "Can you reach? It's by the nightstand, over there..."

Justin made a token effort at reaching and sighed. "I'm gonna have to move," he murmured. "Don't stop touching me, okay? Don't you dare stop ... " And before he could talk himself out of it he was slipping away.

Nick couldn't keep touching him the way he had been, not with Justin moving so abruptly, but he managed to keep a hand on Justin's arm even when he slid completely off Nick's body and reached over the edge of the bed. "Just bring the whole bag up, if you can't find it quick, then come back, come back, come back..."

It did, at least, give him a very nice view of Justin's ass, for as long as it took him to grab the bag and haul it up on the bed. Long enough for him to appreciate it all over again. "Okay, I got it, now where?"

"Left front pocket," Nick urged, already tugging Justin back to his former place. "Yeah, that's the right one, yeah!" He grinned as Justin held up the white tube proudly. "That'll be your new best friend, once we get to spend the whole week in bed like I want to. Believe me. Um. Can you open it?"

Justin stared at it for a moment, like he'd never seen anything like it before. Which he obviously *had*, and not just because he and Nick had already been together. "Yeah, okay," he said finally, opening it and then offering it to Nick. You're gonna ... to me, right?"

"If you want me to," Nick said, looking at Justin seriously. "Only if you want me to." He kept his hands firmly at Justin's waist, then slid one up to rub at a nipple. He wanted Justin to want it, wanted him to *ask* for it, so there could be no doubt that it was something Justin was doing willingly.

"We talked about this," said Justin. "You aren't supposed to encourage me to back out."

"I'm not," Nick said calmly, pinching his nipple just a little. "I *want* to, and I know you like it, and you want it too. Can you say it? That you want it too? Just to make me feel better?"

"I ... do," said Justin, a little too hesitantly for comfort, but he *did* say it. And bit his lip as Nick toyed with his nipple. "I did like it. I want to like it again."

"I'm pretty sure you will." Nick smiled at him, and shifted him a little, until he was in the same exact position as before, not missing Justin's little shiver when their cocks rubbed together. He coated his fingers, making them slick and warm, before touching Justin again, this time slipping the tip of his finger inside without any teasing.

Justin's eyes fluttered shut right away and his mouth opened. It was pretty clear he hadn't been expecting it, not quite like that, but he wasn't moving away, wasn't pushing Nick away, was just letting it happen. "O-okay," he said finally, a little louder than he'd been speaking before. "Yeah."

Nick grinned, relieved. "Okay. Good. Yeah," he murmured in response, letting his finger slide deeper as he pulled Justin's hips into a gentle rocking rhythm. The angle was a little awkward, but Justin seemed comfortatble in this position, and Nick had long fingers. He twisted the one inside Justin, looking for the place that would make Justin scream.

Justin jerked, he didn't scream, biting down hard on his lip. "Careful with me," he said again after a moment, sounding breathless even though he hadn't done anything. "Oh Nicky, be careful with me ... "

"Am I hurting you?" Nick stroked him gently, watching him with worried eyes. "Is this still okay? Are you sore?" He searched a little deeper, pressing in and forward, hoping it was still feeling good to Justin. "Tell me, baby, tell me if it's okay..."

"N-no," said Justin, after squirming on his finger for a moment. "You're not hurting. I just ... forgot. What it feels like. I forgot. It's good, Nick, it's good."

"Oh, good," Nick breathed, relaxing again and enjoying Justin's reactions, twisting his finger and stretching Justin a little, wanting to use two. "Can I...is two okay? It'll be good, even better, I promise..." He touched the place that had made Justin jump before.

"Just ... careful," said Justin again, though Nick *was* being incredibly careful about how he was touching him. And he was sure Justin knew it. "And yes. Two." Any moment now, any moment it was going to happen, Justin was going to feel good and start relaxing again.

He slipped the second in without any warning, figuring the more time Justin spent thinking and talking about it, the more tense he would be. It was tight, but Justin didn't flinch, and Nick pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth as he worked both fingers deeper. "Still okay?" he breathed against Justin's lips.

Justin nodded this time instead of saying anything, and pressed his forehead to Nick's shoulder. "That's it for now, though," he said finally. "Just work with two. I'm a little uptight ... " He took a deep breath then laughed, and Nick could feel the muscles contract around his fingers. "I guess you probably noticed."

"It's nice," Nick said quietly, shutting his eyes and letting himself feel. "You're all silky soft inside, and tight, it's really nice. Very hot." He spread his fingers just a fraction, felt Justin's hips shiver a little under his other hand. "Just relax," he almost hummed, letting his hips ride up against Justin's, hoping it would be a small distraction. "Let it be good."

Justin finally exhaled hard and let his lips rest against Nick's collarbone as his body relaxed against Nick's. "I trust you," he said, which was maybe the most reassuring thing he *could* have said. "I like this." No, the second most reassuring thing, because 'I like this' definitely came first.

Nick's relieved breath left him in a little huff, and he smiled against Justin's temple. "Good, good," he said quietly, still keeping his voice low and relaxed. Justin was heavy and sweaty-hot and languid against him, and it was sending little shivers of happiness over him, and he curled his fingers and dragged them against Justin's prostate, on their way out of his body.

He could feel the way Justin's body shook, shuddered, and he knew it was involuntary, knew pretty much just what it was that Justin was feeling when Nick touched him. He'd been there, after all. It was like Justin didn't quite know what to do with himself, though, as Nick make him feel like that. He moved his hands awkwardly and restlessly, and his lips moved on Nick's skin like he was speaking but saying no words.

"Don't think about it so hard," he whispered, hearing the smile in his own voice. "Just let your body do its thing." He stilled his fingers then, giving Justin a little break from the constant stimulation, though he left them right where they were, and smoothed his free palm down Justin's spine, petting him and letting him wiggle a little. "Better now? God. You have *the* most perfect ass I've ever seen, by the way. I thought you should know. In case you were wondering."

"Looked in a mirror lately?" countered Justin, but he sounded distracted and Nick knew he was still thinking too hard. Or, probably, thinking too hard about trying not to think too hard. Either way, as much as he'd already loosened up, he was still so tight, so stiff. "I'm okay," he said, though. "I'm good."

"Hm," Nick answered, noncommittally. "Well, we've had a really long day, and you've got to be tired. I'm comfortable, I could stay here all night." He wiggled his fingers a little, more a tease than anything else, and hitched Justin a little closer. "The way I figure it, at some point you've got to relax. Right? I mean, all those muscles are gonna get sore sometime..." his hand kept making sweeps, up and down Justin's spine, and Nick just hoped he was taking the right approach, calling Justin on it.

Justin sighed and pressed his forehead harder against Nick's shoulder. It felt nice and all, but it meant he couldn't see Justin's face which, at that point, probably wasn't such a great thing. "Will you believe me if I tell you it does feel good?" he said. Now, Nick knew it was good, but he didn't quite believe Justin meant it until he finally pushed back against Nick's fingers, to get them deeper inside himself.

"I know it feels good, I like this too," Nick said, once he'd recovered from his surprise, and twisted his fingers a little deeper. "What I can't figure out is how you feel about that. Though really, you should just be feeling it, not feeling anything *about* it. Not now." He pushed at Justin's cheek with his nose until Justin raised his head, and Nick smiled at him, his best smile. "Kiss me some, I think that's the best thing to do, right now."

As always, Justin didn't hesitate at all before taking him up on that, and Nick filed it away for future reference: when Justin got awkward, just get him kissing. It could work in so many situations. When he was kissing, he couldn't talk and, hopefully, he couldn't think. Nick could feel it in his body, the way the muscles continued to loosen, the way his body melted further against Nick's.

Nick let his own body speak for him for a little while, letting it arch up against Justin's the way it wanted to, let the moan in his throat out against Justin's tongue. Justin's hands were finally moving again, lacking that hesitation that he'd noticed earlier, brushing down the sides of his arms and touching lightly at his waist. Nick's fingers were moving in and out easily now, each push bringing Justin's hips into close contact with his own, and then pulling them away a little again. It was hot inside Justin, and Nick imagined he could feel his fingers burning.

"You could ... do more now," said Justin, like he almost couldn't quite believe it. Like his body was doing things he just never quite expected it to. He just left that up to Nick, though, and kept on moving his body like he had been. Staying in this comfort zone that he'd found for himself.

Nick nodded silently, unwilling to break the spell, and reached for the lube. His cock was a lot bigger than two fingers, and he sent stern 'sit, stay' thoughts at it as he got his hand slick again, holding Justin still when he squirmed in protest. He knew that uncomfortable empty feeling, too, when you'd just gotten used to it and it was feeling really good, and then it was gone...

Three fingers, bunched tight together, and Justin's eyes flew open again. "You're okay," Nick said calmly.

"I'm not sure ... " he blurted out, but he didn't pull away, and they'd gotten to this point before, and Nick knew all it would take was a little persistance and willingness on Justin's part. And he seemed to have that. "Hang on ... hang on ... "

Nick hung on, sitting perfectly still, dropping little kisses against the top of Justin's shoulder. "Just let me know when..." He nipped at a particularly nice-looking freckle, and waited, his fingers feeling bloodless under the tight nervous clamp of Justin's body. "I won't hurt you, you're okay," he repeated, hoping that Justin hearing it would make it so.

Justin just clutched at him for another few moments, that all at once he gave in -- he took a deep breath and relaxed and pushed back against Nick's fingers again. And moaned, which was just exactly what Nick wanted to hear. "Oh yeah," he mumbled. "That spot, inside, right there ... "

Nick hid his smile against that freckle--he was going to ask Justin later if he could have it for his own, if that didn't seem too cheesy outside the heat of the moment--and started moving his hand with a little more purpose. His own erection, almost forgotten, started making itself felt again, its hardness pressed against his belly by Justin's weight. He could feel Justin's hands shaking on his waist, and in one practiced motion Nick rolled them both over, landing on top, without missing a stroke.

Justin gasped, and then smiled, and whatever second thoughts he might have been having about what they were doing, all signs of them were gone from his expression now. "Remember to be quiet," he said, quite clearly, but it sounded a lot more like he was reminding *himself* than reminding Nick.

"No, you," Nick teased, though it was quiet. "Mmm, much better," he approved, straddling Justin's thigh easily and keeping himself pressed tight to Justin's body. Slowly, reluctantly, he slipped his fingers free of Justin's body, wiping off the extra lube before cupping his hip gently. "You're amazing," he whispered, before ducking in for another long kiss, settling himself lightly between Justin's legs.

"Everything's amazing right now," murmured Justin, and he didn't seem to have much to say after that. He closed his eyes and spread his legs wider around Nick's body and pushed himself up off the bed, just a little.

Nick froze for an instant, his thoughts scattering in a thousand directions. Justin had said to push him, but this far? Did he want it? Would he freak out after, even if he *thought* he wanted it? Probably. And there had been enough freaking out, today...Nick bit his lip, and nuzzled at Justin's neck, then licked at his collarbone, and down to a nipple, tasting him as he went, braced a little above his body, and heading for his goal. He hummed a little against the taut, hard smoothness of Justin's belly, loving the leanness of it, dipping his tongue into Justin's navel.

"Nick," moaned Justin, and if possible the space between his legs looked even more inviting. "You can't tease now you can't tease now you can't tease now ... " He took a deep breath and dug his fingers lightly into the back of Nick's shoulder. "I've earned this. We have."

"Do you want..." Nick began but couldn't finish, just looking up at Justin to see his answer. "Not teasing. I was gonna blow you, because you've earned that too, but..." his fingers crept back to where Justin was still relaxed and soft from earlier, and he brushed them back and forth, feeling the slipperiness of the lube still there. "Do you want?" Timbatonal signed off at 8:51:06 PM. Timbatonal signed on at 8:51:11 PM.

Justin's eyes were still closed as he nodded his head, and he looked nervous, but certain. "It's right, tonight," he said softly. It wouldn't have mattered to Nick if they didn't; there would have been other times, when Justin was more ready, more experienced. But clearly it meant something to *Justin*, to be able to do this with him on this particular night.

"Okay." He stayed where he was, though, and slipped three fingers back inside Justin, wincing when that muscle clamped down on him again. "Relax," he hummed. "If you do that to my cock it's gonna pop right off." He grinned up Justin's body into wide startled eyes. "We've got all the time in the world tonight. We're going to do this right." He pressed a soft kiss to the skin of Justin's inner thigh, teasing it lightly with his tongue.

Justin stayed tight, but not *as* tight. "Really don't want to pop your cock off," he murmured, then grinned nervously. Nick could see him trying real hard to let go and let him do it and it was *so* obvious he did want it. He was just taking some time to convince his body of that. But he was doing it, bit by bit.

"No, that would be bad," Nick agreed, fingering him gently, just a little rocking with his hand, feeling Justin slowly ease his grip. "Stop thinking about it," he reminded gently one more time, petting Justin's thigh and hip with his free hand, and picked up the pace with his fingers. He curled them in and under, wanting Justin to forget everything but feeling good.

He could tell when Justin moaned again and arched his back and pushed back against Nick's hand that he had. "Oh yeah!" he said, forgetting about being quiet again. Reminded of how good it could feel, of why they were doing this in the first place, his enthusiasm peaked again. "Oh Nick, oh Nick, do it now ... "

"Oh shit," Nick said, awed. Justin was stretched out in front of him like something delicious, all lewd and gorgeous and the sexiest thing Nick had ever seen. "Oh God. Okay, hang on, baby." He slipped his fingers out reluctantly and reached for a condom, fingers slippery and fumbling and shaking a little as he finally tore it open. "Shh, Justin, shhh..."

"You gotta hurry," he whimpered. "Before I forget again, Nick, I gotta have you in me ... " And right then he looked it, looked like he wasn't thinking about anything else anymore except them doing this, finally. He looked irresistable. "I l-- oh, Nick. Please."

Nick's brain almost exploded, that one little word sending him into overload. He got the condom on somehow, slopped on more lube and then he was on his knees between Justin's thighs, lifting and spreading them gently, looking straight into his eyes. "Love you, J," he murmured, the words forced out of him in the instant he pressed against Justin and felt himself slip that first incredible inch inside.

Justin gasped and Nick wasn't sure at what -- the declaration of love or the sensation of Nick being inside him. Or both. Probably both. His eyes were wide and open and his jaw dropped a little, but he wasn't doing anything to stop Nick. And in fact seemed to be doing what he could to encourage him. What he knew how. "Oh Nick," he breathed again, and pressed a heel into Nick's back.

"Easy," Nick breathed, and inched himself forward, controlling himself fiercely. He couldn't hurt Justin now, would rather die. Fuzzily, he feared he'd ruined everything with his big mouth, and he wanted--needed--this time to be good for Justin, if it was the only chance he got. He leaned forward, bracing his hands on the bed on either side of Justin's waist, and twitched his hips forward so gently.

"Oh please more," gasped Justin, like once he'd gotten a taste of it he just couldn't get enough. "Oh, Nick .. this .... *this* ... oh yes ... " Nick couldn't figure out what Justin was trying to say, he'd have to ask about it after, but for the moment he could understand enough to know that Justin was giving him a big go-ahead to keep going.

He took a deep breath and flexed his muscles and slipped the rest of the way inside, going still again once he was there, hips snugged up tight against Justin and his own mouth hanging open a little as he panted. He didn't even want to move, just wanted to stay here forever, buried in unbelievable tight heat, in Justin. He was close enough now to dip his head and kiss Justin's collarbone, and he did, starting a slow circle with his hips, not pulling out at all.

He couldn't read the expression on Justin's face and that worried him a little -- it was either really good or really bad and just for a second, Nick could have sworn he was about to cry. But then Justin moved his hips and tried to sink Nick even further inside him and that was definitely a sign that thingswere still going well. "Oh Nick," he breathed, like that was the only thing left he could say.

"Still here," Nick breathed back, "oh, definitely not going anywhere, baby, except...like this..." he arched his back and slipped out, almost all the way, before stroking back in, smooth as water. "Okay? Okay, Justin?"

Justin's eyelids fluttered and he reached up and just *grabbed* at Nick. "O-okay," he said -- no, moaned -- and he arched his back again, grappling at Nick with his legs instead of his arms. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself, in the position he was in and feeling like he was. "More."

"Oh shit," Nick whispered. His body knew what to do, even as his mind was screaming at him to go slow slow slow, and he got an arm under Justin's knee, pushing it higher as he started to thrust. Still slow, but with a little more purpose now. Out, in, twist, look at Justin and make sure he's okay, out, in, twist. "Okay," he said, tossing his hair back out of his eyes. "More I can do."

"More," said Justin again, but it was a contented murmur now, like he'd gotten what he'd wanted. He was still awkward, ams and legs all over the place and nowhere to put them and pushing back against Nick at random times and in random ways. And Nick never forgot that it was his first time and that was a scary and wonderful thing. "Oh Nicky ... baby ... "

"Justin..." Nick paused for a moment and repositioned them, changing his angle and hiking Justin's hips a little higher off the bed, giving him a soft kiss before starting again. At least he was hard, and Nick was devoutly grateful for that. Bodies couldn't lie, and Justin's was having a fine old time, and Nick let himself get lost in the feeling a little, picking up a quicker rhythm and settling back into it. His eyes were glued to Justin's face, alert for any sign of discomfort, and he knew he had to keep this short. "J, baby, I can't reach like this," he whispered. "Touch yourself, c'mon..."

Justin hesitated, resting his hand against his own thigh, then he exhaled slowly and finally wrapped his fingers around his erection. And moaned softly. "it's too good," he said, the first clear thing he'd expressed in a while. "Feels too good, Nicky ... oh god ... "

Nick watched him wonderingly. No one had ever seen this but him, ever. The thought made his belly tighten with heat, and he gritted his teeth and hung on, determined to outlast Justin. "It's supposed to feel good, J, there's no such thing as too good, let go, baby, c'mon..." he pressed forward insistently, quick shallow thrusts that were going to make his body explode any second, but he knew what he was hitting like that and he *needed* to see Justin come.

"Oh, oh, oh," said Justin, and he squeezed, and then his fingers began fluttering along the length of his erection. Nick could feel his body begin to tighten up and then Justin reached out with his other hand and squeezed Nick's hip, hard, when he started to come. "Oh!" he said one last time and he closed his eyes and let it happen.

Nick didn't pause, knowing from experience that his motion was making Justin come even harder, *in* and *in* and *in* and Justin was like a vise around his cock and he came, finally, just letting everything go to sparkles and heat behind his eyes. "Justin," he whispered, as he slumped forward a little, still braced against the back of Justin's thigh.

Justin was panting, his eyes still closed, his body still tight and hard. Nick wasn't sure he could've pulled out if he wanted to. "Nick," he said finally, whispering too. "Oh god, Nick. We just ... "

"Yeah," Nick said quietly, shifting a little at that pressure on his hypersensitive cock. "We sure did." He stroked Justin's side and hip and thigh gently, watching him breathe and slowly calm, slowly relax a little. "That was the most incredible thing..." he stopped trying to talk, and just petted Justin.

Justin pressed his face to Nick's neck and it felt wet, like there were tears, but Justin wasn't making any sounds and Nick wasn't sure whether to call attention to it or not. After all, Justin was finally relaxing to the point where he could move again. "Hey," whispered Justin, and there was a very faint sniffle.

"Hey," Nick whispered back against Justin's shoulder, moving his hips until he slipped out slowly, sighing in relief. Justin was clinging like a limpet, and Nick wasn't about to remove him. "How you doing, baby?" He kept stroking Justin's warm skin, hoping it was helping, not knowing what to say.

There was a long pause, then Justin finally whispered, "I'm good. I'm just ... " He didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence, and shook a little in Nick's arms. "Wow, Nick."

"I know, I know it." Nick had to laugh a little, at his own stunned amazement. "Incredible, huh? You were. Wow, Justin." He rocked Justin a little, wrapping his arms around him and just holding on tight, as tightly as Justin was clinging to him. "I feel like someone hit me in the head with a bat. A really nice one."

"I feel changed," said Justin quietly, and seriously. "I feel ... I don't know. Different. Shook up."

Nick pulled back a little and looked at him, scanning him carefully for any signs of freaking out or anger, but couldn't see anything but damp eyes and a sort of in-turned, thoughtful look. He nodded a little, remembering what it had been like for him, and unable to think of anything to say. "I know," he said finally, inadequately. "It's okay."

"Don't go anywhere," he said, but Nick wasn't planning to. Nick didn't want to be anywhere else. "I was ready for it, I just wasn't ready ... to feel like this. I don't know how to explain it."

"I'm not, I won't," Nick reassured him. "I'm right here." He did reach down and slide off the condom, but brought Justin right back to him, and rolled to his side. He didn't want to squish Justin flat, after all, and it was just as easy to cuddle like this. He kissed the tip of Justin's nose. "Are you feeling all right about it? Do you think?"

Justin nodded slowly. "I'm not sure I was ready to like it that much," he said after a few more moments. "I mean, even though we did stuff before. Even though we told the world about us. I wasn't ready for it to be that ... right. You know? That everything."

Nick felt himself smiling helplessly. Justin had liked it, it had been good. "I know. I want to say it was intense, but that doesn't even really come close." He kissed Justin again, just a light touch to his lips. "It's good that it felt right. It's supposed to, between people who...care for each other."

Justin swallowed, and nodded, and smiled back shakily. "So, um," he said, and he shifted his legs, and his hands fluttered along Nick's arms. "You love me, huh?"

Nick felt his face heat up, and he stared at Justin's shoulder. "Um. Possibly, yeah. But if that's going to make things weird for you, or anything, you can just forget I said it, okay? There's no pressure or anything. I know you still love Alicia, and that's...that's totally okay, I understand. I didn't mean to tell you yet."

"I almost said it, too," murmured Justin. "It would've been so easy. It felt right. But ... I don't want to say it until I'm sure and I don't want you to be hurt by that, Nick. But I don't want to forget you said it either. It ... it's not pressure. It makes me happy, to know that."

"Really?" Nick deflated a little as he exhaled, and Justin's words ran around in his mind. He couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, but it seemed hopeful, too. "Oh, good. Because I can't guarantee it won't slip out again in the heat of the moment sometime." He pulled Justin a little closer, and pulled the covers up over both of them. "We should get cleaned up, but I kind of want to just lie here for a while. Is that okay?"

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