TNick/Justin - post-band 2

"No," murmured Justin, clutching the blankets closer so that his voice was almost inaudible. And for all Nick knew Justin was talking in his sleep, but he doubted it. He reacted too quickly for that.

"Liar." He laughed softly, and tugged at the blanket. "You can go back to sleep in a minute, man. I gotta talk to you, AJ showed up early. Did you hear that? I hafta go be a host, and shower, and do all that stuff."

Justin groaned, and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. "Want me to go?" he mumbled out, looking like that was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. "I can go. Just. I need a minute to wake up."

"Nah, man, you can stay." Nick couldn't resist, and ran his fingers down Justin's cheek, where it was creased from the pillow. "Remember? You can stay as long as you want. I don't even know when the other guys'll get here, but...are you really okay with staying in here all afternoon?"

Justin nodded, and yawned widely. "God, I'm so fucking tired, Nick, you have no idea. Just ... I get tired just thinking about my life right now. I can't deal right now. Can I just keep sleeping? Here? Will I be in the way?"

"Nope." Nick couldn't stop smiling. Justin awake was hot as hell, but Justin still mostly asleep was so cute it made Nick's chest ache. "There're towels in the bathroom, I brought more water and advil if you need 'em, and you can sleep as long as you want. I'm gonna go shower, okay? I stink. You sleep as much as you want."

"'Kay," said Justin, already sinking back into the pillows. "Wake me when you need me." And just like that he was out again, even snoring lightly after a few more moments.

Nick shook his head, watching for just a moment longer, before heading to the shower.

* * *

Nick had just finished pouring out the last of the beer when his doorbell rang. He rolled his eyes and dashed for the door; he remembered days when 'afternoon' meant 'probably sometime after three, or whenever we can drag ass out of bed,' and wished wistfully that he'd had time to check in on Justin again. On the other hand, he hadn't seen these guys in forever...

Kevin and Howie were standing on his step, wearing huge grins and beach wear, and Nick laughed and spread his arms. "Guys! Hey! AJ's already here!"

They didn't waste time giving him a huge hug, Kevin trying to lift him up but giving up after a moment. "Damn, Nick, you look great," he said as he let him go and held him at arms' length. "So where's AJ? Already out back?"

"Sorry we're late," said Howie, hanging him a bag of ... something. Nick had no idea what. "I had to stop and pick up a few things. So how *are* you?"

"I'm good, great, fabulous! Classes are going great, I'm surfing a ton." Nick couldn't stop grinning, as he led the way through to the kitchen. "AJ's in the living room critcizing my CDs and my choice in houseguests. Ah, about that, I've got Timberlake upstairs." He didn't look at Kevin. "He's gonna stay there till dinner, he's catching up on sleep and shit like that. We won't even know he's there."

He wasn't quite sure what reaction he was expecting; what he got was a moment of dead silence. "I'm sorry, what?" said Kevin finally. "I can't possibly have heard you right, there, Nick. I could have sworn you said you had Timberlake upstairs. I'm assuming as in 'Justin Timberlake'."

Nick rolled his eyes, just a little. "Well, it ain't his kid brother. Yeah, Justin's here. He moved back to town yesterday, and he's going through kinda a rough time, and we hung out last night, and he stayed." He looked at Howie, pleadingly. "It won't...he won't be a pain, like I said, he's staying upstairs today."

"Like a pet," said Kevin with a strange smile. "What a thing to spring on us, Carter. This is pretty weird, I hope you know that. You got anything else up your sleeve? Cause you might as well hit us with it all at once."

"I think I'll get some things ready," said Howie, carefully taking the bag back from Justin and ducking discreetly into the kitchen, but not out of earshot.

"Noooo, I don't think so," Nick said carefully, searching his mind for anything else that might upset Kevin. "I'm doing really goo-well, in my classes. He's not a pet, Kevin, he's just messed up and needs someone, and I was there, and..." he shrugged. "It's not so wierd. I mean, we've known him forever, really." He decided that Kevin probably didn't need to know that Justin was naked, up there.

"Last I heard, he was married and living in L.A.," said Kevin, still sounding a little too incredulous for Nick's comfort. "And now suddenly he's moved here and is sleeping upstairs at *your* place? You can't just say something like that and not give me some details. But let's get some munchies and do it outside, huh? It's one of a million things we need to catch up on."

"He's getting a divorce," Nick said, before leading the way through the kitchen and living room towards the door. It was empty; Howie must have found AJ and dragged him outside. "Hey," he waved at the guys, who were sitting around his picnic table. Kevin hugged AJ, and Nick grinned more. He had his guys again.

"Dude!" AJ said, as soon as he could pull away from Kevin, who *had* managed to pick him up. "He's got fucking Justin Timberlake here! Can you believe that shit? And they were sleeping together!" Nick groaned, and covered his eyes.

"Nick?" said Kevin, his voice a lot more menacing this time. "What was that I just said about more surprises? You were *sleeping* with him?"

"No! Yes! I mean, yes, but not in the Biblical way!" He glared at AJ. "We were just *sleeping*. We had some beers and he was lonely and we watched the sunset, and maybekissedalittle, and he was all broken up about sleeping alone, so I let him sleep with me. Just sleep! And AJ, you're a shit."

"I'm not the one sleeping with the enemy," AJ said, infuriatingly smug. "Or the ex-enemy, or whatever."

"Maybe kissed a little?" repeated Kevin. Nick didn't think it was healthy for someone to turn that colour of red. "Nick, what were you *thinking*? Just ... start at the beginning. I want to know everything."

Nick sighed and dropped to the bench, and leaned on Howie for moral support. He loved the fellas, but he was suddenly feeling about fourteen years old again. "I ran into him at the market, with my cart. And he came over. He's getting a divorce, his wife left him like, two weeks ago or something. So I told him about Ste, I was being all helpful, for real. And he was snuggly, and there was a little kissing, but we're not doing anything, because he's too nice to use me as a rebound fuck. And then we went to bed, and we woke up to see the sunrise, and he's still asleep, I think, and I'm not because y'all fuckers are here giving me the third degree."

"So he's not using you as a rebound fuck -- and might I point out that prior to this moment, Justin Timberlake was striaght? -- but he's kissing you and sleeping with you? Someone's confused here, and I'm not entirely convinced it's me," said Kevin.

Howie put an arm around his shoulder and squeezed him gently and Nick was instantly grateful for his unconditional support. Like they'd never spent any time apart.

"I'm not confused either, and I don't think he is, or maybe just a little," Nick said as confidently as he could, ignoring the way Kevin's words echoed a few of his own thoughts. "He just needed some comfort. Nothing romantic or nothing, we totally talked it out, before anything happened, there's no expectations, I mean, once he's done with the rebound thing, maybe, but not till then."

"Oh yeah. The two of you are *completely* un-confused." AJ snorted, and started pulling out one of Kevin's braids.

"So you're planning a thing after his rebound thing?" said Kevin. He swatted at AJ, but it was only a token effort. "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a rebound fling, or something? Just ... be careful, Nick. He's Timberlake. And after what happened with Ste? If anyone hurts you like that again, I'll have to kill him."

Nick beamed at him, feeling warm inside, watching AJ play with his hair, and leaning on Howie a little more. "He freaks out or something, the first few times he has sex, is what I got. It was a little muddled. We're not really planning a thing. I think he just really needed someone to be nice to him, and I was there, and he was feeling grateful." He felt his smile fade a little. "After what happened with Ste, I'm always careful, Kev, you know that. No killing will be necessary. Thanks for the offer, though."

"Yeah, well, you I won't be looking for permission," said Kevin darkly. "I'll just do it. So ... other than taking in stray, recently-separated and sexually confused former pop stars, what else have you been up to, Nick?" He finally gave in to AJ's attention, visibly relaxes as he seemed to really realize he was among family again.

Nick shrugged, simultaneously happy about the subject change and wishing they'd kept talking about Justin. Maybe he *was* a little confused, because it was all bubbling inside him, feelings and questions and uncertainties. Maybe later.

"Classes. I got a B+ on my econ midterm, y'know. And I've been surfing a ton, and going out in my boat. And talking to Aaron. Not having enough sex. The regular."

AJ snickered, drawing his fingers down through Kevin's long hair, over and over again. "No such thing as enough sex. Awesome job on the midterm, though, Nicky."

"Hey, congratulations, I told you you could do it," said Howie, giving him another squeeze.

Even Kevin gave him an approving nod. "And it looks like you'll be taking care of that sex thing soon enough anyway," he said, looking back at the house significantly. "Nick, I *know* that look on your face. If it's not platonic, just say it's not. I'd rather know now than later. No more surprises."

"We're *not*," Nick said, then sat back, a little shocked at how high and urgent his voice had sounded. "He's never even, with a guy before, and that bitch really and truly fucked him up, and he's *lonely*. He said some things, when he was drunk, but people say all kinds of things when they're drunk and miserable." He grabbed a handful of the nachos Howie had brought and filled his mouth. "No surprises," he mumbled. "I think he's straight, anyway."

Kevin seemed to understand more than Nick had given him credit for, though, giving him a nod and a sympathetic look. "Don't let him hurt you, Nick, just because you're lonely, too," he said softly, which was *not* what Nick had said. He hadn't told them that *he* was lonely.

"We won't let him," AJ declared, nodding. "I'll have a little talk with him at dinner."

"Don't you dare." Nick had been sulking, just a little, but he sat forward tensely. "You be extra nice to him. All of you. He's a great guy, and he don't-doesn't deserve the talk. He needs, like, Howie-level niceness. Even without the...other, it'll be nice to have him here, a friend, and stuff, someone to hang out with. Don't make him hate me."

"We're not going to make him hate you, Nick," said Kevin, finally transitioning back from fierce to laid back again. "Of course we're not going to do that. But don't blame me for watching your back. We're not going to let what happened befor happen again, not if we can help it."

"Exactly," said Howie. "But of course I'm going to be nice to him. He sounds like he needs a good dose of nice right now. That's gotta be rough. Even if Kevin's out of touch, I've been keeping up with the news. It's not a pretty split."

"Nope." And suddenly Nick really wanted to go check on Justin. Maybe hold his hand, for a minute. He firmly restrained himself, and tugged on Howie's curls, instead. "I know you guys got my back. God, it's great, I love you for it. But I'm a big boy, I learned my lesson, I can take care of myself." He thought of Justin, and looked down and smiled. "Plus, he's really great. Sweet. He wouldn't do that to me."

"Right. *Definitely* gonna be keeping an eye on this," AJ murmured, shrugging when Nick glared at him again.

Howie, at least, looked pleased for him. It was his quiet love and comfort and support that Nick had always counted on. Whatever happened, Howie had faith in him.

"You are a big boy," agreed Kevin. "But you're still our baby, Nicky, and you always will be. You're sure you know what you're doing here?"

"Yes," Nick said, putting every bit of confidence he had into that word. "We're buddies. Like with you guys, only with a little more kissing. I mean, we're going clubbing soon, to hook up. Together, only with other people, you know what I mean. It'll be fine." He shook his hair back and smiled at Howie, hoping the love showed, even as he reached for another huge handful of nachos. "Enough about me. You'll see, when Justin comes down, how it is. What about y'all, Kev? What's going on with you?"

"Not much new," he admitted, but was obviously trying to come up with something to say. Or maybe trying to come up with something to say while avoiding something else; Nick couldn't tell. "I met someone. But after your news, that's kind of anticlimatic, isn't it."

"No, hey, that's not...my news ain't even news, really, so dude, share!" Nick grinned at him, leaning forward eagerly. "What's her name? Do we know her? Is she cool? Is she good to you?"

"Yeah, what he said," AJ said mildly, and tugged on Kevin's hair again. "Spill it, Richardson. Clear my mind of the Timberlake."

"You guys all worry too much," said Howie, shaking his head at him. "Is this the same girl you were telling me about, Kevin?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that's here, we've gone out a couple times since then. It's not serious yet, of course." But if it wasn't at least *potentially* serious, he wouldn't have brought it up. And if that was true, it was the first person since the divorce he'd seen as more than temporary. "That's about all that's new. Been taking it easy."

"We wouldn't worry if we all didn't suck so very, very hard at relationships," AJ said sweetly, baring his teeth at Howie before turning back to Kevin. "She sounds good, man. Sweet. Good for you. Me, I'm just kickin' it with the dogs and going to the Playboy mansion a lot. I figure I got till I'm thirty, before that gets lame."

"Sure you've got that long?" Nick snipped, still a little stung by AJ's attitude about Justin, then batted away the rubber band AJ snapped at his head. "Jeez, sorry. It's so weird, all of us being single again. Howie, Justin wants to know how you stay friendly with your exes, yo."

"I pick the right people to go out with, I guess," he said, kissing Nick's temple. Even if the rest of them were confused about what exactly was going on, Howie seemed to get it. "Or the almost-right people. Obviously not exactly right."

"If only we all had your skill," grinned Kevin. "I need to stop dating models. Or maybe not, if Amelie turns out to work out well."

"It would keep AJ's tire-slashing to a minimum. Except Amelie's of course. No more models or actors or musicians for me," Nick declared grandly, not even bothering to try to sound serious. "From now on, Howie gets to pick out my boyfriends for me. He's much better at it."

"But then you'd end up with short brunettes all the time, and that ain't your type," AJ pointed out. "Kev, does Amelie have a sister? Share the wealth, dude. And a brother, for Nicky, somebody tall."

"You do realize you're all asking *Kevin* too hook you up," Howie reminded them all. "Kevin. That's all I'm sayin'."

And that was all he needed to say. "Yeah, yeah," said Kevin. "Well, we'll see. And no more ex-musicians for you, either, Nicky. Or whatever the hell he is now, I don't even know. One is quite enough."

"You, I don't..." Nick fumbled for words, like he always did when he was really upset. "He's not anything like...I mean, we're not..." He bit his lip and stood up. "You don't get to say, anyway, so just...I, water, be back soon."

He heard AJ smack Kevin's head as he headed for the kitchen.

"Hey," said Howie, right behind him, resting a hand on his back even as he continued on his way inside. "Hey, Nick. Hey. It's me, here."

Nick didn't look back at him, but didn't pull away either. Howie wouldn't go away anyway. "Hey," he finally said stiltedly, opening the refrigerator and staring into it blindly. He'd left all the water upstairs for Justin, anyway. What he really wanted was a beer, or a shot. Or fifteen. "What's up, D?"

"Hey," he said again, soothingly, rubbing Nick's back. "It's me. It's *us*. It's okay. Nothing bad's going on, Nick. We're just not used to all this anymore. So ... you wanna tell *me* what's going on?"

"No," Nick said, before realizing he sounded like a five year old, and sighing. "It's just what I told you. I ran into him, he's lonely, he...we kissed. More than I said, but that's all we did, and we slept together, and AJ walked in on us. But nothing happened! He's lonely, and really nice, is all. I'm just being nice." He almost had *himself* convinced of it, by now.

"And you like him," said Howie softly, cutting right to the heart of it. "You like him a lot and you want it to turn into something. And there's nothing wrong with that, Nick. I just don't want to see you hurt. None of us do."

"God, Howie," Nick leaned on the fridge and hung his head. "It was so, you don't even...kissing him on the beach, in the sunset, it was like...everything I wanted, when I was a kid, just right there, and I *still* wanted it, just as much. Still want it. I won't...he won't hurt me, I won't let him. *He* won't let him. He's so great, even though Kevin thinks he's the devil and evil. He's sweet and smart and really nice..." He trailed off when he realized he was smiling and twisting the hem of his shirt in his fingers.

Howie wrapped an arm around Nick's waist and gave him a squeeze. "It's not about him hurting you on purpose, Nick, I believe you about that. It's about him hurting you by accident because he's only just separated from his wife and is on real shaky ground about relationships in general, nevermind the whole sexuality thing. And even with your best intentions, I think you've already fallen for him, Nicky. I really believe he's a good guy, but be careful anyway, okay? For me?"

Nick just collapsed into Howie's arms, reminded again how good it felt to be loved. "I know, I know. I will be, Howie, I don't want any heartbreak either, I don't EVER want that again. But he's being so careful with me, you don't even know, it was the first most very important thing to him, and he doesn't know that I'm...I'm hiding it really well I think. I won't let him know. Nothing's going to happen anyway, I'll just...I'll be careful." He rested his head on top of Howie's, and sighed. "Maybe I *should* let you pick out a boyfriend for me."

"Nicky," said Howie, squeezing him again. "Nicky, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I always do. Do what you think will make you happy. Because I don't know and AJ doesn't know and Kevin doesn't know -- just you. You know how you feel about him, and you know how he treats you, and you know what you want to do. Or if you don't, you know that you can talk to us about it. And Nicky ... Kevin's actually dealing with this really well, I thought. He's being supportive in his own way."

Nick snorted and tossed his hair back. "Yeah, telling me not to date this sweet guy who I'm totally crushing on even after I said I *wasn't* gonna date him because he's straight, yeah, that's supportive." He sighed. "I love that you tell me to do what will make me happy. I want to date him and love him and have his babies. But that's not going to happen." He cuddled Howie a little closer. "Why don't *you* just date me. Then Kev and AJ and Brian won't have anything to say at all."

"He was *teasing* you," insisted Howie. "Or he was trying to. He's not very good at it yet; I think he's still getting used to the idea. And you know Brian would be supportive if he was here, but probably with the same reservations. It's plain to me that you already care about Justin so much, Nicky. And if you ask me? I think that's a good thing. I just ... don't fall too hard to fast, is all. Take your time. And since I think you're doing that ... I'm behind you all the way, Nick. I mean it."

"You're the best. You're the best Howie I know." Nick squeezed him close, before letting go and grabbing a soda, trying very hard not to look at the stairs and imagine what was in his bed. "He was teasing me, really? Oh, now I feel so bad. Kind of. Because he was mean, earlier, you know he was...Justin's just a friend, a really good friend who I have a crush on that won't go anyplace. I'm probably not his type anyways. So Kevin doesn't have to get used to the idea, or anything. Except that we'll be hanging out, a lot, I think."

"He obviously kissed you back," Howie reminded him. "And you slept together. I don't know what that means, but it probably means something. But if saying you're just good friends is gonna keep it slow, then you just keep on doing that, Nicky. I know it's all really new. That's probably the best way to handle it." He reached for Nick's hand and tugged a little bit. "So. Shall we go back and join the rest of our dysfunctional little family, or do you need to run upstairs for a minute first?"

"I have to say sorry to Kevin," Nick said, dreading it a little. "So, you know...can you go tell them I'll be back in a minute, and tell Kevin I'm not mad, and make sure *he's* not mad, and I'll run upstairs super-quick and make sure Justin--who nothing is going to happen with, he was just lonely and drunk--is okay, and then I'll come back and kiss Kevin's ass. Is that okay?"

"Of course," said Howie, squeezing his hand before letting go. "Just remember we're you're brothers, Nicky. And we love you. And everything's gonna turn out okay." Then he turned and slipped back outside.

"Not as much as I love you, I bet," Nick murmured, knowing Howie couldn't hear him but smiling at the full feeling in his heart. Sweet D, making him feel so much better. He swallowed the soda, squared his shoulders and tiptoed back upstairs, opening the door quietly again, and peeking inside. He just needed a look. Just for moral support, or morale, or something.

Justin was curled up on his side, blankets tangled around him, his head sinking into the soft pillow that Nick left for him. He looked so much more relaxed when he was sleeping, when he wasn't thinking about what was going on is his life. And he looked very much at home in Nick's bed, which Nick tried not to think about too much. He didn't want to give it more meaning than it really had.

Nick moved to the side of the bed, smiling a little still, not quite believing that it was real. He let his hand hover over Justin's bare shoulder, not touching, just feeling the warmth of his skin radiating up. Justin was pale gold against the white sheets and comforter, and Nick wanted nothing more than to crawl back into the bed with him. Realistically, how many more chances would he get?

Justin even smiled as he came close, an invitation for Nick to get even closer. He was either having a lovely dream, or --- no, he was probably having a lovely dream. He couldn't have known Nick was there. But still, that smile. It was pretty irresistable.

He reached out, unable to resist, and traced the curve of Justin's smile with one finger. He hoped they were wonderful dreams, a good break from life. "Sweet dreams," he whispered so softly he could barely hear himself, and pulled his hand away before he was tempted to do more.

"Nick?" said Justin softly, barely a whisper and maybe not even a question. He didn't open his eyes though, and didn't move other than to grip the blankets just a little tighter. He didn't say anything else, and his breathing was still deep and even. A moment later Nick wasn't even sure he'd actually said it.

"Sleep," Nick whispered, a little louder, wanting to kiss him so badly it was an actual physical pain. He moved back a little, to fight the temptation, but couldn't stop looking. "Sleep tight," he repeated, taking tiny steps and never turning away.

Justin seemed to be hearing him at least, even if he didn't know it. He snuggled deeper into the bed, obviously fast asleep, but still with that smile on his face. He even turned his face up a little more so Nick got better view of it than just his profile.

Nick didn't turn till he bumped into the door, and he slipped outside, feeling like a junkie who'd just had an illicit fix. "God," he muttered to himself, shaking his head as he trotted down the stairs and back out the door, bracing himself for his apology. He *was* far gone. Even farther then he'd realized, and he felt even worse for yelling at Kevin and AJ.

"I grabbed some munchies from the kitchen," said Kevin, holding up a bag of chips he'd swiped. "Sorry, I was just getting hungry here. The noises my stomach was making were scaring AJ, even." AJ tugged on Kevin's hair in denial, still perched right by him and staying in close contact, even though Kevin had obviously had to leave and come back. "You okay?"

"Yes. Yeah." Nick nodded, then stepped closer and looped an arm around Kevin's neck, hugging him a little awkwardly. "Sorry, man. Total overreaction from me, it's all kind of new and weird and I dunno, but you're, it's not your fault. Sorry. I'm totally okay and fine, okay?"

"Yeah," said Kevin, and he nodded, his way of accepting the apology. "Just stay okay, Nicky. That's all we want." Nick was used to the guys calling him Nicky, but right now it was just reinforcing what role he'd always had with them -- they were the experienced ones, and he wasn't. But it wasn't like that anymore. He'd thought they'd finally realized that, but now he wans't so sure.

It seemed like a bad time to bring it up directly, though, with Kevin being so unexpectedly mellow about his little freak-out, so he just sighed and settled to the table again, reaching for the chips. "I'll be okay. I can, I've been through some shit, I'm a big boy. I won't do stupid stuff, not about this. Kevvy." He stuffed his mouth before he could say anything else.

Kevin's eyes darted up, and then he actually grinned at him. Nick wondered if Howie had talked to him about it, before Nick had come back down. He'd taken a little bit longer than he'd expected to, after all. "You are," he agreed after a moment. "But you should know us well enough by now to know that we're gonna worry. It takes someone pretty special to be good enough for our Nick."

"Right," agreed Howie, his voice still more quiet than Kevin's. And both of them more quiet than AJ, even at the best of times. "He's gonna have to prove himself is all."

"You guys..." Nick protested softly, ducking his head and grinning a little. "Jesus, I'm not, you know, your little sister out on a first date or something. I can take care of myself. I'm a total grown up now."

AJ rolled his eyes. "No holding hands till the third date," he said, smirking. "And one of us will accompany you at all times. And your curfew is eleven, young man, and if you're late your priveleges will be suspended!"

"Shuddup, or I'll tell you in detail about the boy I brought home at 3 am without any of you present," Nick said sweetly. "I don't think there was any handholding, I was too busy fucking him into the mattress."

AJ stared, then howled, folding over onto Kevin and pounding the table.

Kevin himself was too busy cracking up to care, but Nick noted with some satisfaction that he'd managed to embarrass him, at least a little. Well, good.

"I think that's about as much details as I need to get about Nicky's sex life," said Howie with a polite cough, though Nick had told him much more in the past, in private. "At least there was a mattress involved and not, say, a kitchen counter ... "

"That was later," Nick said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. "He was very flexible."

"Okay, fuck, stop," AJ wheezed. "Funny is funny, but we gotta EAT in that kitchen, kid. Fine, you got no curfew, you're a big boy, we'll stop hassling you. Doesn't mean we won't kick some ass if that punk dicks you around, but I believe you. You're buddies with Justin Timberlake, good for you. Just stay away from that freak Chasez, and the rest of 'em."

"I like JC!" Nick blushed a little at how loudly he'd said that, and glanced guiltily back at the house. "He's a sweetheart, and he was really nice to me, a while ago," he explained more moderately. AJ rolled his eyes and groaned.

"We're losing him, boys. He's gonna be an N Sync groupie, next thing we know."

"I think he's *always* been an Nsync groupie," said Kevin, snorting and rolling his eyes. "We just missed all the signs. How could we be so blind?!" Nick wasn't absolutely sure, but he thought maybe that was Kevin's version of teasing again.

"He always did like the pretty ones," said Howie mildly, like he wasn't the least bit surprised. "And they were nothing if not pretty."

Nick tried his best pout. They hadn't seen him for a while, maybe it would be effective again. "They are pretty. And some of them are very nice. But I still wasn't a *groupie*, and I'm not *now*, either. Fuck all y'all, I'm just trying to be nice, here."

"Better put that lip back in before something lands on it," AJ advised, grinning madly at him. "If he wanted pretty, he coulda looked closer to home. Me and D, we're the prettiest. Right, D? Nothing but Backstreet eye candy, over here. 'Course, none of us look like Timberlake."

Howie looked over at AJ and Nick caught him smirking. "Are you saying you wish Nicky had wanted to fuck *you* into a mattress instead of some other pretty boy?" he said. "Why AJ, I never knew."

Kevin cracked up, his calm, slightly disapproving demeanor vanishing completely. "Oh man, can you imagine?"

"Jesus, no!" AJ threw up his hands in mock horror. "Incest, hello? Not that you ain't hot, Nicky, baby, but no." He shuddered. "No. I need to go wash out my brain now, thank you, Howie."

"You all suck," Nick announced, though he was fighting hard to maintain the pout. He'd *missed* them, missed this, so much. "You suck and I'm not feeding you. Howie can eat. Not you fucks. You *wish*, AJ."

"Oh, please," said Kevin, shaking his head at AJ. "You've had way worse images than that pass through that brain of yours -- and probably done half of them, too. I don't think we've done any lasting damage."

"Besides," said Howie, "I think being an Nsync groupie is actually fashionable now. It's retro, or something. Isn't that a kicker?"

"Worse than sex with Nick?" AJ raised incredulous eyebrows at Kevin. "Worse than the image of Nick, naked, licking all over me, putting his hands in all those dirty places, calling me 'bro' when he comes? Worse than-"

"Okay, stop," Nick demanded, wrinkling his nose. "Ew. You don't need to get all graphic, you know. And I am *not* a groupie, Howie! Just because one of them's a gay Yoda and the other one's my new roommate, doesn't make me a *groupie*."

"JC's a gay Yoda?" laughed Kevin. "You know what? I don't even think I want to know, Nick. You just keep that little tidbit of information to yourself and I'll stay in my happy place and we'll all be happy."

"*I'd* like to know," said Howie, still sounding so mild, but so happy at the same time. Typical Howie. "Anything that traumatizes AJ and Kevin and leaves me unscathed is definitely worth a few minutes of my afternoon."

"*Such* a bitch, Howard," AJ grumbled, though he looked a little curious, too.

"How'd you know I was talking about JC? I might've meant Chris. Or Joey." Nick pouted again when AJ shouted laughter. "Fine. He was my first, I'll have you know. We spent a whole weekend in a hotel room and never left and did things that would make Kevin's ears fall off if I said. It was sexy and great. Maybe I'm a JC groupie, actually. I wonder if he'd sign my ass?"

"Oh, good for you, Nick!" said Howie, giving him a friendly squeeze. He'd already known a little, but certainly not everything. Certainly not any of the details.

Kevin clapped his hands over his ears. "Okay, I'm ready to talk about Amelie now. Or anything. *Anything*. As long as no one gives me details about Nicky's sex life. He's *twelve*. It's very." Not that Kevin hadn't *seen* his share of Nick's sex life when the group had still been together, but that seemed conveniently forgotten.

"He's got a really long tongue," Nick mused loudly, winking at Howie. "I don't think the things he did with it are technically legal, but when he licked my-" He broke off, had to, because AJ's hand was firmly over his mouth.

"That's more than enough. Don't scar the old folks, and you'd better be glad Rok isn't here, he'd be ruined for life. But I am glad you got good an' laid, even if you are twelve and I fully plan to press charges against JC, Jive, our bodyguards, whoever, for letting that happen."

"Mmmfh nofff twfff," Nick glared, then licked AJ's palm till he cringed back. "Serves you right. Hands off the merchandise."

"Aw, you know he'd never say those kinds of things around Brian," said Howie. "Besides which, if Brian was here he'd have the rugrat with him and we wouldn't be saying any of this at *all*. He's starting to imitate words now."

"Oh, that's right, you were out to see him just a week or two ago, weren't you?" said Kevin, looking profoundly relieved. And still embarrassed. Nick smiled.

"Really? Words? Damn. Wasn't he just born last week?" AJ stopped scrubbing his hand distastefully on the seam of his jeans and looked at Howie eagerly. "How is he? Is he huge? Is he still the cutest thing in the world? Does he remember us?"

Nick propped his chin on his hand, kept smiling, and ate more chips. Watching AJ turn into a concerned and besotted aunt over Michael was one of his favorite things in the world. "Is Brian surviving the walking stage?" He asked.

"Brian looked tired," said Howie with a rueful chuckle. "As you can probably imagine. He's toddling around so well now that he's starting to pull things off all the shelves and tables he can reach. It's probably a nightmare to keep up with. I can't even imagine."

"I have some pictures," offered Kevin. "They're over a month old now, though, and the kid's growing like a weed. Apparently he takes after Nick--" He looked up and cocked his head toward the house suddenly, mid-thought. "Do you hear something?"

Nick's head turned quickly, and he listened so hard his ears were almost aching. Tracked the sound of the voice to the upper window, where... "It's Justin," he said softly, smiling a little. "I think he's singing in the shower."

"Sounds like someone strapped him down and made him take voice lessons," AJ said absently, staring at the pictures Kevin handed him. "He sounds good. Too bad that album tanked."

"Do *not* mention that in front of him," Nick said fiercely, pushing away from the table and meeting Howie's eyes. "I've gotta, I don't know if there's clean towels," he explained hastily.

"Riiiight," said Kevin knowingly. Nick just wasn't sure what he thought he knew. "Just remember to close the window before you give him his towels, 'k? And ... bring him down, after, if you like."

"As long as he doesn't mind oohing and ahhing over Brian's kid, he's more than welcome," added Howie, giving Nick an encouraging smile.

"There's *nothing going on*," Nick repeated, sounding a little desperate even to himself, as he backed away. "I don't even know if he'll wanna. Come down, I mean, plus, AJ hasn't promised to be nice to him yet, so I'll probably just have him stay up there."

"Whatever." AJ didn't look up, but fluttered his hand at Nick. "I'll be nice enough. Do what you want."

Nick smiled gratefully at Howie, before heading for the stairs once again.

Justin had left the bathroom door partway open, and a puff of steam was floating out of it. He wasn't singing by the time Nick got to the door. In fact, he sounded like he was coughing. Or choking. At any rate, something a lot more unpleasant than what they'd heard a few moments ago.

"Justin?" Nick put a hand on the door, concerned, but unwilling to just barge in. "Hey, J, you okay? You breathing? You need me, I mean, help?" He tried peeking in the door, but couldn't see anything without pushing it open further.

"I'm okay," came Justin's voice, after a pause just long enough to make Nick nervous. "It's open. You can come in. I'm just a little ... not doing so great, now."

Nick swung the door open, stepping through tentatively. Justin was on his knees in front of the toilet, a towel draped loosely around his hips, head resting on his arms.

"Oh, ouch," Nick groaned in sympathy, before filling the glass by the sink, and moving to Justin's side. He resisted the urge to touch the drops of water caught in Justin's hair, and instead settled a hand on the bare, damp shoulder. "Water, man. You want? You done hurling, or is there more coming?"

"Water would be pretty nice right now," he said, his voice only the slightest bit raspy. He leaned back onto his heels and took a deep breath before taking the glass of water. "I think I'm done. Thank god. I didn't think I'd had *that* much last night, did I?"

"I wasn't really keeping track," Nick admitted apologetically, crouching down to his heels by Justin. "I'm doing okay, but I'm bigger'n you and you maybe had more. Um." He fixed his eyes firmly on Justin's shoulder; the towel was slipping, and if Justin was this hungover, Nick had no idea how much he would remember of the night before. Or how much he'd pretend to remember. "Hey, I'll clear out, you can finish your shower or whatever. I just, towels."

"No, s'okay," he said, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand. "I'm all clean, mostly. I'd love a toothbrush, though. And some advil. And some sunglasses, maybe. Gee, I don't ask for much, do I?" He finally looked up at Nick and gave him a shaky smile.

Nick smiled back. "I can help you with everything but the shades." He rummaged in the sink drawer, emerging with a new toothbrush and a bottle of Advil, and handing them to Justin, before standing back up and settling against the sink. Still keeping his eyes firmly above Justin's chest. "Did you at least sleep okay? I mean, before the hangover, and stuff." It was strange, talking to Justin in the morning. Like he'd lost all that comfortable ease they'd developed the night before.

"Oh yeah, I slept great," said Justin, groaning as he pushed himself to his feet. The towel slipped off his hips and he just slung it over his shoulders as he stood. "I'd still be sleeping if it weren't for my stomach deciding to erupt. Twice." He frowned for a moment, looking away like he was thinking about something. "AJ's here, right? I think I remember you telling me that."

Nick swallowed *hard* and blinked, transferring his gaze to the patterned tile under his feet. "AJ and Kevin and Howie, now," he admitted. "AJ got here early, and kinda just walked in. They're all outside, just hanging out. It's only around two, still pretty early in the afternoon, so..." he trailed off, chewing his lip and studying his untied left shoelace.

"Right," said Justin, sipping slowly at the water and not moving around too much. He even closed his eyes for a long moment. "Time for me to hole up in the spare room, then? I hope AJ wasn't too upset about it, I know you were worried."

"No, no, you can, whatever," Nick glanced at him, then away. "I mean, they know you're here, we talked about it, nobody's upset. If you wanna come hang out. Mostly we're just being dorks and looking at pictures of Brian's baby, but if you're feeling up to it, you're totally welcome." He tried a smile.

"Not if you don't want me to," said Justin softly, sounding a little confused. He used the last of the water to rinse out his mouth, spitting into the sink. "It's cool. I can even go if you want, I'd understand."

"No, hey, no," Nick said hastily, surprised into meeting Justin's eyes. "No, man. I just don't want you to feel like you gotta, if you're feeling shitty or whatever, I said you could stay, I totally meant it..." He frowned unhappily. This was not at all how he'd imagined things going, in the morning. "If you want to go, though, I...that's cool. I guess."

"What's wrong?" asked Justin, a bit of a rasp back in his voice. "Is it ... ? Look, I don't get drunk like this very often, I swear. I've just been really stressed out with everything that was going on with Alicia and I really needed it last night. We wouldn't wake up like this every morning. Or afternoon. Or whatever. I swear we wouldn't."

"I figured the sunrise was a one-time thing," Nick breathed sadly, before shaking his head and putting on a smile. "There's nothing wrong, man. Just wanted to make sure things were cool with you. And please, don't apologize for gettin' drunk, and whatever. I was *more* than happy to have you, help out, you know, anything you need." He grinned a little, tamping the sadness down deep and reaching out to pat Justin's shoulder. "Plus, it would've been a shame to waste all that beer."

"One time thing," repeated Justin, just as softly, starting at him for a minute. "I ... I ... I don't even know what to say to that. I thought we talked about this, Nick? I didn't realize ... why would you even want me to stay if you feel like that?"

"I..." Nick stared back, baffled. "We talked, yeah, but you were drinking, and I was drinking, and you're...I want you to stay because I...you said you wanted to stay. Do you not want to stay?" He reached for Justin again, before letting his hand drop. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Like, with me, just because you maybe did stuff, said stuff last night..." he shrugged. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable," he repeated, one of the few things he was sure of.

"Yeah, but ... were you only doing that stuff because you were drunk?" Justin stammered out. "Were we only ... I mean, are you saying it wouldn't have happened, if you hadn't been drinking? Because ... because I meant everything I said and did, Nick. But now I don't know if *you* did ... "

"No, not *me*," Nick said, starting to get frustrated. Why wasn't Justin taking the out? "You! I'm the one that's gay and out and stuff, you're the one that was drinking and rebounding, or not-rebounding, or whatever the hell it is, and...*no*, I wasn't doing all that stuff because I was drunk."

"Well, neither was I," said Justin, "I didn't say any of it because I was drunk. I hope you believe me." He turned toward the mirror and finally looked at himself. "God. I look like shit."

"You don't," Nick protested automatically, still stunned, then looked more carefully at Justin. "Well, a little. That shade of green really ain-isn't your thing. But that's just hangover." He stepped up behind Justin very carefully, watching over his shoulder. "Um. Does that mean you're still gonna...whatever, and we're gonna go clubbing, and then maybe possibly go on a date at some point when you're not on the rebound? Just trying to be perfectly clear, here," he added hastily, close enough to feel the warmth of Justin's skin.

"Yeah," said Justin softly, meeting his eyes in the mirror and smiling. "I hope so. I just need a little time to sort all this out, to be fair to you. And then yeah ... I'm gonna call you up and ask you out and it's going to be good, Nick." He sounded so sure of that, too. Finally he looked away and opened the medicine cabinet in front of him. "Now you *must* have contact stuff in here, right? Please tell me you do ... "

"I do." Nick was turned completely upside-down, inside his head, but managed to fish out the contact solution and hand it to Justin, before stepping back and blinking some more. "I'm gonna leave you to it, man. Um, if you want, we're outside. Like I said. Just hanging out, but we'll probably be eating pretty soon, so...yeah." He shook his head at himself. This had to be the oddest start to any relationship ever.

"Nick," said Justin, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I really can't read you right now. What's going on in your head? What are you thinking? I was ... well, kinda hoping this would be a happy thing, this whatever it is that we're doing."

"It's..." Nick breathed out a laugh, letting himself smile at Justin. "It's just fucking bizarre, is all. But good, definitely good. It will be, I mean, when you're ready. Right now, it's good, but a little confusing. I'll figure it out, though, I just need a little more time than most folks." He reached up and held Justin's hand to his shoulder, echoing Justin's gesture of the night before.

"Yeah, it *is* confusing," agreed Justin. "Fuck it's confusing. But I think it could be really good too. And I'd kiss you right now to make you believe me if I didn't need to brush my teeth so bad. The hella-dry eyes could wait; I don't need to see you to kiss you."

Nick reached out and tipped Justin's chin to the side, and touched his lips to the angle of Justin's jaw. Just stayed there for a moment, breathing, and then stepped back. "There," he said, and his voice was just a little thread of sound. "Now you can brush your teeth. And take out your contacts. And come have food with us."

"I ain't taking them out unless you want me stumbling all over your house," laughed Justin softly. "Just wetting 'em down, I'm afraid." He paused to just look at Nick for a long moment, though. "You're sure you want me to come with you? Last chance to tell me to wait in your guest room for a while ... "

"Whatever you want," Nick assured him, smiling and taking another step back, before he lost all control, teeth brushed or not. "They can be a little loud, but you know that. AJ might give you a hard time, even though I made him promise to behave. But I'd be happy to have you there."

"Okay," said Justin, smiling at him. "That's what I was waiting to hear, Nick. That you wanted me there. Just ... lemme get ready a little here, and definitely take some advil. And yeah, sure, I'll be down there. Loud and all." He winced a bit, but he looked like he meant it.

"Okay." Nick reached out, one last touch, and slid his palm down Justin's spine, scratching his fingers lightly at the base and pulling away. "No big rush, we aren't goin' anyplace. You can give the advil some time to kick in, if you want. Also, your clothes are in my room, still, on the chair. If you were lookin' for them."

Justin looked down at himself and actually looked faintly embarrassed about his nakedness for the first time. "I was gonna steal something from you, actually," he admitted. "Something that's not sandy. I didn't think you'd mind."

"I don't mind. Help yourself. Anything that even sort of fits is yours to wear." Nick carefully didn't follow Justin's eyes down. He was being so good, he thought he probably deserved some kind of medal. "Um, I'm gonna..." he gestured vaguely at the door. He was already going to catch so much shit for being up there so long...

"You go ahead," Justin encouraged him. "I'll just be a few minutes, I think. Go visit your friends, Nick, and give them fair warning that I'm coming down. I don't want to be a nasty surprise." He gave him another smile, then turned back to the mirror and started getting ready.

"You couldn't be a nasty surprise," Nick said, on his way out the door. He paused on the steps and gathered himself, preparing for the comments he was sure were coming his way.

"He's baaaack," AJ carolled, as he stepped through the door. "So how was it, Nicky? Are you...wet?"

"No!" Nick hurried to Howie's side. "And he's coming down. Be *nice*."

"Oh, we're always nice," scoffed Kevin, dropping a now-empty bag of chips to the table. "The question is, was *he* ... nice." If that wasn't a sign of acceptance -- of a sort -- then Nick didn't know what was.

"Don't worry," said Howie, ruffling his hair. "I've got your back."

They all could hear Justin come down the stairs, but instead of coming out to see them, they heard the front door open and close.

"Well," said Kevin. "Apparently he doesn't need to meet us to be scared of us."

"Um." Nick fidgeted a little, looking from them to the door and back again. "I...he said he was coming down, maybe I didn't understand. Hang on." He actually ran for the door, not caring how it looked, not caring how much crap he would get for it when he came back. He had to catch Justin.

Justin was already heading back to the house from his SUV, though, just strolling casually and looking surprised at how Nick was dashing out towards him. "Wow, miss me already?" he said with a little laugh. "What's up?"

Nick dug his heels in and skidded to a stop, wondering if there was any *possible* way he could make this look casual. "Ah," he said, brain spinning. "Just wanted to make sure you didn't forget your shirt. Yeah." He chewed his lip a little. "You're not leaving?" he finally blurted.

"What?" said Justin, looking even more surprised. "No, you said I could stay, right?" He held up the glasses case that he was carrying back to the house. "The contacts thing wasn't working out after all, had to go out get my glasses from the car. You thought I was leaving?"

"I heard the door..." Nick shrugged. "Thought maybe the idea of the guys was a bit much, or something. I was just coming to catch you, make sure you were feeling okay, and everything..." he trailed off, and turned back towards the house. "Feeling a little stupid, now."

"No, no don't," said Justin, catching his arm and pulling him into a hug. "That's ... it's really sweet, Nick. I still feel kinda like ass but I *am* coming out back, I promise. I just need a couple more minutes to get ready. I would never leave like that, without saying anything. I just wouldn't. There's been quite enough leaving in my life already lately."

"I didn't know," Nick said quietly. "You've...it's been a busy couple days for you. I woulda understood, if you had to jet. Um. If you do come out back, talk to Howie a lot, and pretend AJ isn't there, and remember that Kevin has a fucked sense of humor, okay? If you do that, things'll be really good." He squeezed Justin back.

Justin laughed again, more comfortably this time. "I'll keep that in mind," he said. "You should go back there and tell them I didn't run for the hills, though. I'll be right behind you as soon as I take care of this. *Promise*."

"Okay." Nick smiled at him, relief letting him relax a little. "I'll prepare them for the glasses." He trotted back through the house and out, nodded at Howie, still smiling. "He's not gone. He was just going to get his glasses. He'll be out soon. Remember, be nice. Even you, Kevin, I mean it. I'm bigger'n you now."

"You've been bigger than me for a while," Kevin said, starting in on a bag of pretzels. "I've still got age and experience on you. So your mad dash was for nothing, then?"

Howie welcomed him back into his seat again, even moving over a little so there'd be room for another. "I'm glad he wasn't leaving," he murmured.

"It wasn't a mad dash," Nick said, with as much dignity as he could, settling next to Howie and smooshing in close. "I just wanted to make sure he was okay, s'all. He was hungover. Is hungover. And I could so take you, Kevin, you're all old, now."

"You couldn't even take *me*," AJ snorted, smacking Kevin away from the pretzels and downing a handful. "So, you got all that exercise for nothing. Have a little faith, Nicky! Like he'd give up the chance to hang out with *us*?"

"Yeah, he's been waiting his whole life for this moment," said Kevin dryly.

"Hey, y'all," said Justin, poking his head out the door tentatively. "Hope you don't mind me crashing your party, here ... "

"No, of course not," Howie was quick to assure him, much to Nick's relief. "You want something to eat?"

Justin looked faintly queasy just hearing that. "Um, no thanks," he said, shooting a guilty look at AJ. "Had a bit of a rough night."

"It wasn't so much the night," Nick added hastily, moving a little and hoping Justin took it as an invitation to sit down. "As much as the morning. That was rough. I mean."

"I bet," AJ said neutrally, watching Justin approach. "'Sup, Timberlake. How's Florida treating you? How you been?"

"Good, good," he said, shooting him another guilty look and biting his lip this time. "It's good to be home again. I'd almost forgotten how much I like it here." He pulled out his water bottle and took a long drink before slipping in next to Nick and giving him a shaky smile.

"I hear we need to welcome you to the club," said Kevin, lifting his glass at him. At Justin's confused, wary look he added, "The divorce," and actually looked very sympathetic. "What can I tell you? It does get better."

"Eventually," AJ snorted, shaking his head at Kevin. "Let me know if you need the number of a good lawyer, cause I can tell you she's gonna get one. But I'm sorry to hear it, man. Hang tough."

Nick smiled back at Justin, and shifted a little until their shoulders were pressed together gently. "J's house is right up the street," he offered. "Or, it will be, once he gets all moved in. It'll be cool, having a neighbor again. That I can actually hang out with, I mean."

AJ rolled his eyes at them, but stuffed his mouth with more pretzels and stayed silent.

"I got a vicious pit bull of a lawyer," Justin assured him, so much more subdued than Nick knew him to be. "I'm hanging in there. Not really dealing with it yet. I mean, obviously." He gestured at himself, as though that explained everything. I didn't, but at the same time he definitely didn't look his best.

"At least you know she's not gonna rob you blind," said Kevin, which wasn't the most reassuring thing he could have said but at least he was trying.

"You need to get Nick to buy a gallon of ice cream for you," said Howie. "No more beer. Sugar's better for the blues."

"I got ice cream," Nick said proudly. "Fudge ripple. Though I already had it when we ran into each other." He bumped Justin's shoulder. "For after Justin talks to his lawyer, I think," he explained to the guys. "That's when Kevin always had ice cream, anyway. So I'm just going with what I know."

"*Much* better than beer," AJ said, though he didn't elaborate. "You actually look pretty okay to me, all things considered. Guess Nick's doing *something* right."

"Well, like I said, I'm hanging in there," said Justin, but he turned and gave Nick another smile. "Nick's been amazing. I can't even tell you how lucky I am we ran into one another. I don't even want to think about what I'd be doing right now if I hadn't."

"Yeah, I hear you," said Kevin, seeming to be warming to him already. Bonding with him, over this. "You need friends around, at a time like this." He didn't ask, but the question hung in the air: where were *his* friends.

"It wasn't anything big," Nick insisted, blushing. "Just some beers on the beach. No big thing at all, it was nice to have company. With all the other N Sync guys off travelling and stuff, I was like...the default boyband company, or something."

"Didn't look default this morning in your bed," AJ murmured low, then growled when Howie kicked him. "What? I'm being good!"

Justin looked startled, like he hadn't quite grasped until then that AJ had *seen* them together. He didn't deny it, though. Not even to the extent that Nick had. He just nodded and sipped his water again. "He wasn't default," he agreed. "I got lucky."

"So we don't need to give you the lecture then," said Kevin. "About how Nick is a special guy and if you hurt him we'll hunt you down and kill you."

"Kevin!" Nick dropped his head into his hands and cringed back into Howie. "Jesus, don't do this to me. Come on."

"Better now than later," AJ said, with hearty cheer. "Kill you and then cut you up in pieces and feed them to my dogs. They're ravenous little fuckers, they'd take barely any time at all. No matter what bizarro thing the two of you have going, you be good to him, or we'll make you answer for it." His voice was teasing, but his eyes were deadly serious.

Justin met his eyes, though, and nodded his head. And looked almost approving. "I'm with you on that," he said evenly. "Anyone ever hurts Nick, I'll be right next to you with the axe and offering you an alibi." And he looked absolutely serious. Serious enough that both AJ and Kevin nodded back at him.

"But no one's gonna kill anyone," insisted Howie. "Anyone want anything to drink? I'm gonna get myself something."

"Yes!" Nick literally leaped at the chance. He could feel the blush burning his face; he appreciated the concern, but he wasn't a baby any more. And Justin was playing right along. "I'll come with you! There's soda and water and juice, and I got that wierd organic shit for you, Howie, I'll just bring everything out."

"Bring me a Coke, man," AJ said, tying one of his rings into Kevin's hair like a bead. "I need caffeine."

"Like you need another hole in the head," Nick snorted, as he stood. "J? You want anything?"

He held up his empty bottle sheepishly. "Just more water, if you don't mind? I'm not sure I'm really up for much else just yet. To be safe."

"Grab me a Coke, too, I guess," said Kevin. "While you're in there. And you got more chips?" Nick gave Justin a look, reminding him that he'd thought they'd have more than enough food. He just didn't know Nick's friends well enough yet.

"Coke's good for hangovers," AJ mused, fingers still busy. "Might wanna give it a shot, Lake. And Nicky, bring the good chips. None of this pretzel bullshit."

"Fuckoff," Nick said sweetly, heading for the kitchen with Howie in tow. "I'll bring the Doritos, though, just for you. And lots of Cokes. And water. Got it." He touched Justin's shoulder briefly as he passed, just trying to get to the point where he could believe he was really there.

"I need to rehydrate before I start on the sugar and caffeine," he heard Justin telling AJ as he and Howie slipped back into the house again, and felt a bit better about leaving Justin alone out there with Kevin and AJ.

Howie's arm snuck around his waist again. "I like him," he said quietly. "You can tell him to stop feeling guilty for being hung over in front of AJ, though. Remind him that I own a club, or something. Poor guy."

"I can't tell him with AJ right *there*," Nick protested, leaning into Howie's hug with a sigh. "I'm being not-guilty, but he's sensitive and stuff. He thinks about stuff that might bother me before I even realize it's an issue. He's very nice, Howie, really."

"He seems really nice," Howie assured him. "Of course, I'm not the one he needs to convince. Kevin seems to have taken to him, though. So there's that. He seems ... sad, though, you know? Justin, I mean. You can ... I don't think any of us will mind if you're a little more affectionate, Nick. It's okay."

"I don't want to make him even more nervous," Nick confessed, pulling away from Howie and starting to pile sodas in his arms. "He said, last night, that he was feeling strange about the whole....thing. He's straight, you know. He wasn't sure he should come, because we were being pretty affectionate and he thought it would wig him out to be that way in front of people. He's sad. I don't want to make him feel any worse."

"He's not straight," said Howie, like it was fact or something. "He may not be gay, sure, but he's not straight. And I think maybe he's just looking for some comfort right now. From you, specifically. You need some help with those?"

"Yes," Nick nodded, and transferred most of the drinks to Howie. "He...maybe I'll hug him. A little. If you promise to hit AJ if he says *anything*. He's really pretty straight, D, he doesn't ping me much. I mean, maybe I'm not seeing clearly, because he's all in my head, now, but...oh, and how hard am I gonna hit Kevin for pulling that daddy stuff? I'm a grownup now! I don't need him and his shotgun and AJ threatening poor Justin!"

"Oh, come on," said Howie, balancing the drinks expertly. "You had to know they were going to, Nicky. They're always going to be like that with you. Justin probably understands -- he's got some big brothers of his own."

"Poor Justin," Nick said again, shaking his head. "We're not even anything, and Kevin's giving him the boyfriend speech already. He's probably scared off forever, now." He herded Howie back out of the kitchen, carrying only a bottle of water and the bag of chips. "I know he means well, I'm still gonna beat him up, later," he grumbled.

"He may be doing you a favor," murmured Howie. "He misses you, Nicky. He only wants you to be happy, just like the rest of us. He just always did do it in his own way. I really don't think Justin's going anywhere, kiddo."

"I miss him too," Nick said, softening immediately. "I miss all you guys, so much. I get pretty...lonely, sometimes. I mean, I'm used to it now, not having y'all around all the time, but sometimes it still hurts." He threw his arm around Howie's neck, snuffling into his hair. "Love my Howie. Missed my Howie. Come live with me and Justin. I'll make you gardenburgers every day."

"I only live across town from you," he reminded him, unable to hug him back with the drinks in his arms. "Some of the time, anyway. You need to come by and see me more often, you and Justin. AJ and Kevin -- well, they're a little tougher. Go back and give *them* another hug, too."

"Okay, I will," Nick said, trusting Howie like he always did. "I'll come, I dunno about Justin, but I want to see you more. Are you and Shane still cool, and everything? Tell me in a second!" He let Howie go, suddenly feeling bouncy. Howie'd worked his magic again. He dashed ahead, tossed the Doritos at AJ, and tackled Kevin off his chair to the ground, rolling him to the ground in a huge hug. "Hey! I *missed* you!" He could hear someone laughing.

"A little help?" he heard Howie say from somewhere behind him, and obviously got it because he didn't ask again. Kevin was squeezing Nick back, and laughing, and then tickling him when Nick didn't let go.

"Missed you too," he said. "You big lug. Help, he's squishing me!" Nick wasn't doing any such thing, and didn't make any move to roll off until he felt someone tugging at his collar.

"Quit molesting him. He's old," AJ said, grinning down at them and pulling again at Nick's shirt. Nick just reached up and tumbled AJ down, rolling free of Kevin and not letting AJ escape, no matter how he squirmed. "Oooof, Nick, fucker," AJ grunted, though he squeezed Nick hard enough to make his ribs creak.

"AJ! I missed you too!" Nick rubbed his short hair and wrapped his arms around, rolling him over and then springing to his feet, grinning like an idiot.

"Great, he's manic," AJ grumbled, still sprawled on the grass. "Nice work, D."

"I see my work here is done," Howie said, sounding satisfied. "Oh, hey, thanks, Justin. We brought you a ginger ale, if you stomach is still giving you fits."

"I'm doing all right," he said, his voice very subdued in comparison to the chaos going on around him. Nick offered AJ a hand up, only to find himself tumbling into the grass again as AJ took him down, laughing wickedly.

"You're *dead*!" he crowed happily, pouncing and grabbing and tickling, letting AJ tumble him over and then using his considerable size advantage to squash AJ flat. "You slippery fucker," he laughed, trying to keep the madly wiggling AJ down.

"Okay, need to breathe," AJ gasped, baring his teeth at Nick completely uncowed. "Go tackle someone your own size, Nickolas. I bet you got grass stains on my new Gucci, and if you did, you're a dead boy."

Nick sat up on his belly and cheered for himself, hands in the air, before jumping up and evading AJ's grab, running around the table to hide behind Justin. "Save me!" His voice was weak with laughter.

"Oh, I don't think so," laughed Justin, standing up and actually lifting Nick -- and *no*body lifted Nick -- to haul him back over to the grass again, well within AJ's grasp. "You earned this one, baby."

"Noooo!" Nick was too shocked to even struggle, looking down at Justin's smiling face in astonishment before AJ snatched him away and started mauling him. "No, not fair, not not!" AJ hadn't forgotten his ticklish spots, and Nick was helpless and shrieking in moments.

"Okay. Justin can stay," AJ said with vast satisfaction, sitting back on his heels and regarding Nick's convulsions. "You're a good kid to have around, Timberlake, just for muscle. Heh, I think I killed him." He grinned at Howie, Kevin and Justin, rising and moving back to his seat, sleek and unruffled as a cat.

"All right, *now* I'll save you," said Justin, lifting Nick once again and lugging him back to his seat. He was only a little breathless when they got there, and probably more because of the state he was in than any actual exertion on his part. When he sat down himself, he was pressed right up against Nick.

"Someone want to throw me my Coke," said Kevin as he settled back down. "I think I earned it."

"You did nothing but lie there," AJ scoffed, lounging in his seat and raising an eyebrow at Justin and Nick. "If anyone deserves refreshment, it's Justin. Hungover *and* hauling that big boy around? Shit, you're scaring me."

Nick winced a little. He *was* way too heavy for Justin to be carrying around, though he'd managed to forget it for a second and giggle at being lifted like a little kid. He'd loved it. He wouldn't let it happen again. "Here you go," he said, tossing soda cans to Kevin and AJ, then slumping down to make himself as small as possible. "Fuckers. All tickling me."

Justin put his hands at Nick's hips like he was going to tickle him, then just cracked up when Nick tensed. Whatever had gone on when Nick was in the house, it had done wonders to loosen Justin up. Or maybe it was Nick coming back that had loosened him up. Either way. "I'd be happy to haul you around any time," he murmured.

"And the chips, too," Kevin reminded him, interrupting. "You did remember, right?"

"I threw them at AJ," Nick admitted, carefully not responding to Justin's comment, though he didn't move away from his hands. "Maybe you missed that in the flying tackle. That was cool, man, I totally rule. I don't get to do that enough any more." He smiled at Howie, before turning back to AJ and Kevin. "Yes, that's guilt, for not coming to see me more."

"Busy," AJ said briefly, handing the chips to Kevin--only slightly smashed--and patting his pockets before coming up with his cigarrettes. "What, you forgot how to get to the airport? The airlines don't just fly FROM Orlando, you know."

"I have class," Nick protested, letting his hand touch Justin's knee and almost holding his breath.

Justin let one arm slide around Nick's waist, way more casual about it than Nick was being. Or at least seeming to be. "I think maybe I will take that ginger ale after all," he said. "Work my way up to Coke." Howie slid one over toward him with a smile.

"You really should come out some time," said Kevin. "You must have *some* time between classes. How's that going, anyway?"

"I've got weekends and holidays and stuff, and Wednesdays, but that's not enough time for a *real* visit." Nick smiled at Kevin, still feeling electrified and joyful. "It's going great. Kind of great. I'm not so good with the math stuff, but I think I'm getting other stuff okay. It's cool." He leaned into Justin, letting himself soak in the warm solidity of him.

"And now that he's got a fun new neighbor, he'll never come. Better give it up, Kev. Start counting those frequent flyer miles." AJ flicked ash off his cigarrette and blew a perfect smoke ring.

"Maybe if he extends the invitation a little, Nick might make it," suggested Howie, *too* casually. "Get Justin on your side, Kevin. You know it's the only way."

Justin just smiled, and twitched when he looked at AJ like he was dying for one of those cigarettes. "You'll have to show me the stuff you're studying some time," he suggested, his voice getting quieter again. "It sounds interesting."

Kevin chuckled and Nick thought he was going to disagree, but he only nodded. "That's our college boy," he said, and really, he kinda sounded awfully proud.

Nick rolled his eyes at Howie and Kevin, but couldn't stop grinning. "It's not, really," he told Justin. "I mean, it can be, but it's not like, fascinating stuff. Except the music classes, those are cool. Fun, anyway. But econ sucks, and sociology is only interesting when they talk about sex."

"Everything is interesting when you talk about sex." AJ smirked at Justin, and inhaled smoke with ostentatious pleasure. "Nicky's smarter than he looks, don't let that pretty face fool you."

"Smarter than me, I bet," said Justin, giving him a little squeeze. "And don't you go agreeing with me right away, McLean, I know. I'm pretty happy I just finished high school fair and square. Music classes, though. That would be really cool, I think."

"Yeah, I bet," said Kevin. "Nick never tells us anything, though. You'd think if he didn't feel like calling he could just *email*."

"I haven't got my ethernet connection set up again, and I hate using the computers at school, they suck," Nick griped, though Justin's arms around him kept the ridiculous smile plastered to his face. He was pretty sure *he* was supposed to be holding *Justin,* but whatever worked.

"You do have a phone, yes?" AJ toasted Justin with his Coke. "Amen to high school. I'm all about the GED, m'self."

"Dialup sucks *worse*," Nick exclaimed, before checking himself. "Oh. Well, yeah, I could call. I should call more. You can call me too. We should all call Brian, by the way. Harrass his ass for not bein' here."

"Isn't he up to his elbows in streamers and diapers and birthday cake and small children?" said Justin. "Isn't that what you told me? Birthday party? I'm not sure it's wise to interrupt that."

"Nah, he told me he'd be *begging* for an excuse to take some time away," said Kevin dismissively. Let Leigh and the mothers watch the rugrats for a litttle while."

"Speaking of rugrats, how's Fatone doing with his little girl?" Nick looked at AJ sharply, for signs that he'd be starting something, but he seemed genuinely--and deeply--interested. "Sounds like you got some first-hand knowledge of the birthday party thing, anyway."

"*Oh* yeah," said Justin with a little chuckle. "She's so *big* now, though. No more smushing birthday cake into her face and hair. Oh, but his girlfriend is expecting, did you know? Bree will have a little brother. Or half-brother, I guess, but who the hell notices the difference these days anyway?"

"Oh, is she?" said Howie delightedly. "No, I hadn't heard."

"Seriously?" AJ leaned forward eagerly, cigarrette dangling forgotten in his fingers. "Man, that's fucking great! When's she due? Are they going public with it, since he's all movie-star now?"

"He's obsessed with babies, ever since Brian had his," Nick whispered to Justin, propping his chin on his shoulder and grinning. "It's a little scary. Don't encourage him, or he'll be whipping out pictures."

Justin just grinned back, though. "It's no secret, but they haven't made any announcement. She's, what, six months along now? So definitely showing. I think they just probably haven't been out in public together in the last two or three months. You know how Joey is, he doesn't like to issue press releases about stuff like that, ever."

"Well, no, actually we *don't* know how Joey is," Kevin reminded him, but not meanly. "But you're right, I've never known him to make much of a public deal about private stuff."

"He's pretty talented at *not* making a public deal out of stuff like that," said Howie, like he'd already noticed that a long time ago."

"He keeps *secrets,*" Nick nodded. "Something you fuckers could learn. I mean, hell, we didn't even know about Brianna till she was almost *born*. Joe's a private guy, all right. He's the one I don't even know at all."

"He's a good dad, we know that." AJ was still looking eager. "Wow. Two N Sync babies! You're gonna be a busy Uncle Justin, huh? You psyched?"

Justin coughed politely. "This is baby number three, actually," he admitted. "Or will be, anyway. And yeah, I'm totally psyched. I'm a great uncle."

"Wait, *three*?" confirmed Kevin, to which Justin only nodded.

"Wait." Nick turned to stare at Justin. "I know Fatone's just got the one...two now. Who the hell had a kid and it was kept *that* undercover? Did Joey sneak one under the radar? Chris? Is there another Kirkpatrick running around somewhere?"

"If there is, I'm moving to Europe," AJ announced, though he looked wildly curious too.

"Better start packing, then," said Justin with a little, smug smirk. "And why didn't you think it was Lance or JC, anyway?" He looked around at all their faces and laughed. "Nevermind. Yeah. There's a little Kirkpatrick running around. And I do mean *running*. He's two and a half and he's just as much of a terror as you can imagine."

"No fucking way," said Kevin, shaking his head. "We would've heard."

"Dude. Europe. I'm on my way. Shit, I gotta call my agent. Wonder if Belguim'll take me?" AJ grimaced, and shook his head. "Nah, you're fuckin' with us. No way could you have kept a kid of his under wraps. He'd have wrecked a city and made the news, by now."

"If you're telling the truth, you should get AJ to babysit," Nick murmured, grinning at the image of a tiny version of Chris. "He keeps even the worst kids in total line. They adore him."

"I'm actually serious," said Justin, sounding it this time. "He didn't know until after Bryce was born, that's how it was kept under wraps. And plus, he doesn't have full custody. It's a pleasant arrangement, though, nothing messy or nasty there. And we all love him to pieces, of course. Even when we're being terrorized. Chris is a great dad. Surprised us all."

"Kids bring out a whole new side of a person, that's for sure," said Kevin, nodding and probably thinking about Brian.

"I'll have to tell him I know, next time I talk to him," said Howie, smiling happily about the whole thing. Taking it all in stride. "He's probably been holding back his gushing; we don't talk nearly enough."

"I bet once you tell him you know he won't be able to shut up about him," Nick said knowingly, also thinking of Brian. "That's fucking CRAZY, that we had no idea. I mean, we're not hanging out and shit, but we do usually hear stuff about y'all before the general public, still. Except me, because I'm still on media blackout."

AJ was shaking his head wonderingly. "Chris Kirkpatrick, a dad. I can see it, though. He always rode herd on you freaks pretty well. Sometimes on us freaks, too. He's a good guy, damn, I gotta give him a call."

"You should," said Justin surprisingly, and suddenly. "You know, once I get moved in, I should have everyone come over, both groups, kids and all. Make a big family thing of it. You think?" He backed down quickly, though, and shrugged his shoulders. "Just a thought."

"I'll bring munchies," said Kevin casually, as though it was already a foregone conclusion that it was going to happen. "Just tell me when and where. So Kirkpatrick really has a kid? Really seriously? Damn."

Nick slipped his arm around Justin's shoulders, pulling him close for a quick squeeze before loosening. "I can bring over a grill, if you don't have one yet. It can be like your housewarming party. We can build a cage for the kids and turn them loose on each other."

"Sounds like a good time," AJ nodded. "Hey, though, do I hafta be nice to Lance?"

"If he comes," said Justin softly, looking away for a second. Then he squared his shoulders again and looked at AJ. "No one's allowed to kill anyone else on my property. And no being mean in front of the kids. Anything else, well, I guess I get no say, huh?"

"He'll be good," Kevin assured him. "As long as you let him smoke."

"I bet Chris's kid picks up swears like that," said Howie, snapping his fingers. "It was just figure."

"Actually," said Justin with a chuckle, "it's Brianna that's worse. Kids. Man. I love them to pieces, but I love being able to give them back to their parents, too."

"I don't wanna *kill* him," AJ said defensively. "Just, you know. Mock him mercilessly for a while and maybe throw him in the pool. You do have a pool, right?"

Nick looped his other arm around Justin, basically caging him in his arms. "You have to be nice to Lance, or Joey'll beat you senseless. And then Justin, probably. And we all know he can, he's buff and stuff." He sighed. "It might be nice, not to have to give one back. Someday. Swears and all."

"Course I have a pool," said Justin defensively. "I have to fill it still, I think, but there's a big concrete hole in my backyard, anyway." He didn't pull away from Nick, he just leaned in closer against him. He didn't even seem to be thinking about it as he did it. He did look over his shoulder and give Nick a little smile, but Nick couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"AJ's gonna have kids," said Howie confidently. "Then I get to be Uncle Howie again. I think I'd be pretty happy with that. You can all have kids so I can be uncle Howie a bunch of times over."

"You're fabulous at it," Nick smiled at Howie, and crossed his wrists down by Justin's hip, feeling more comfortable every moment. "You're a great uncle. And AJ's biological clock is ticking so loud I can hear it from here. And maybe me someday, too, if I can figure out a way to work it. I want two." He nodded firmly.

"I do not have a biological clock," AJ said, affronted. "So I like kids. So what."

"*Howie* likes kids, Aje. *You* almost kidnapped Brian's son last time we were there." Nick rolled his eyes at Justin. "I think he's actually interviewing candidates for motherhood, these days."

Justin gave AJ a grin, but then *all* his attention was on Nick. "Two, huh?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "What, a boy and a girl, you think? Is that what you're hoping for?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way to work it," said Howie confidently. "You got a lot of love to give, Nicky."

"For the record," said Kevin, popping some more chips in his mouth. "I'm not planning on any kids. But then, neither was Kirkpatrick, I'm sure."

Justin's attention, even after all that, was still only on Nick.

"Two whichevers," Nick said, smiling a little. "I don't care. But I know I want kids, and I know it'll be hard, so, two. Because everybody should have a brother or a sister. If possible." He blew a kiss to Howie. "Thanks, D."

"I want six," AJ announced, then glared at them when they laughed. "What? I can want six."

Justin seemed to be thinking about that, and smiling a little. "Kids," he said again. "Huh." Then he blinked a couple times and stared at AJ. "What, six? Are you nuts?" He was grinning, though, as he shook his head.

"You would, too," said Kevin, still laughing. "You'd do it, too, if you found someone to have them with."

"I totally plan to," AJ said loftily. "Maybe I'll spread 'em around. Have a couple with different ladies, so the genes can combine all over the place. Plus, I gotta name one after each of you--not you, Justin, sorry--and one'll be AJ Jr., and one after my moms, so that's six."

"Well, it'll be easier than finding one woman willing to have six kids," Nick said philosophically, shrugging, before turning to Justin. "With all the reproduction going on in N Sync, you never thought of it?"

"Never said I didn't think of it," said Justin carefully. "Just not really hard. It's ... there's more to the story, but I probably shouldn't get into it here and now." He turned back to AJ and gave him another grin. "Awww, are you sure you wouldn't like a little Justine running around?"

"I think a little Nicole is going to be quite challenging enough," said Howie. "You're probably gonna have to have a little Justine of your own."

"Yeah, maybe," said Justin with a little smile. "Maybe."

"It could be a little Nicky." Nick grinned at AJ. "You could call him Nicky all you wanted and he wouldn't try to rip your head off for it. If he was yours." He tipped his chin to Justin's shoulder again. "You could have a little Justin running around. Bet he'd be quite the little ladykiller."

"It's the boyband breeding project. Nicky." AJ smirked, and lit another cigarrette. "I mean shit, we got three already. We're almost to a full compliment, for a band."

"I would be just my luck to have a son just like me," laughed Justin abruptly, eyeing AJ's cigarette again. "Did you know I entered beauty pageants as a kid? I was lucky I didn't get my ass kicked."

"You were a pretty, pretty boy, Timberlake," said Howie.

"Yeah," said Kevin with a smirk. "So what the hell happened, anyway?"

"He got *gorgeous*," Nick sighed, then froze, and hid his face behind Justin's shoulder as AJ hooted, laughing, and even Howie snickered. "Fuck," he mumbled into a warm t-shirt. "I said that out loud."

"You did!" Even without looking, Nick could see AJ's mad grin. "Whoooooo, baby, you are so gone I can't even see your taillights. Justin, kid, you want one? Help yourself."

"I shouldn't," murmured Justin to AJ, then took a deep breath and abruptly turned just enough to nudge Nick's face upward with his nose and give him a soft kiss on his lips. "You're the one who got gorgeous," he whispered, not loud enough to be heard by anyone else. But they didn't need to hear to know what was going on. When Justin turned back again and met AJ's eyes, Nick could see he was already faintly flushed.

Kevin looked like he was struck speechless, but AJ certainly wasn't.

"Oh, very nice," he said, grinning wide and reaching across the table to smack Nick's shoulder. Nick just rocked with it, stunned, blinking, and clinging to Justin like he was a life preserver. "*Very* nice. Good to see Nicky's protests were all bullshit, I figured they were, but with him as gone for you as he is, it's nice to see some confirmation. Beyond the whole naked in bed together thing, I mean."

"I wasn't naked," Nick said weakly, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I'm not sure what Nick's protests were," said Justin quietly, looking away from AJ's eyes again but *smiling*, the same way Nick was smiling, "but we didn't actually sleep together. Yet. Not that that's anyone's business anyway, what we did together last night."

Justin looked up at Kevin, like Kevin was going to have something to say that, but he just shook his head and still looked a little stunned. It probably hadn't really been real, the possibility of the pair of them, until Justin had kissed him.

"Definitely none of our business," agreed Howie lightly. "But the thing you have to realize about us, Justin, is that that's not gonna stop us from asking."

"Don't," Nick pleaded, looking from AJ to Howie. "Just let it be, okay, guys? For a while? We only just met again. Just..." he squeezed Justin gratefully, tucking his face into his shoulder again. "Let us figure it out before we have to *explain* it all, or anything."

"Shit, Nicky." AJ sat back and folded his hands over his lean belly in disgruntlement. "Why'd you have to ask all cute and sweet like that? I want details, man. Some of us ain't getting none, we gotta live vicariously, y'know."

"You could ask Kevin," suggested Justin, turning his face back to Nick, turning that smile on him for a little while. "Didn't he say he had a new girlfriend?" He looked embarassed, but not ashamed and not reluctant to be like this with Nick -- in front of his friends or not -- like he'd said he might be.

"I suspect Amelie is not *nearly* as interesting as *this* little development," said Kevin, finally getting something out. "You guys really are ... already."

"Not like that," said Justin softly. "Not yet. Nothing too fast."

AJ snorted. "That looked pretty fast. Have you let go of him once since you got back out here, Nicky? If you did, I missed it. And Amelie is very boring. Pretty, but boring, no offence Kev, mostly because she's not an ex-rival going through a divorce, and he ain't my baby brother."

"It's not fast," Nick insisted, not letting go but shifting back just a little. "We're friends. Close friends, with the possibility of maybe more someday. Is all. Right, J?"

"Right," agreed Justin, appearing more uncomfortable talking about it than just doing it. "We're just waiting until I'm ready. Nothing worse than rebounding on someone you really want to be with and screwing the whole thing up."

"Amen," said Howie, like he'd been through that at some point and not always had the most perfect break-ups ever.

"True," AJ agreed, nodding approvingly. "Smart, you two. 'Course, if you act like that when you're out, I dunno if that whole clubbing plan Nick was talking about will work out too well." He raised his eyebrows at Nick, who was still pressed against Justin everywhere he could reach.

"Oh, we won't," Nick said quickly. "Justin's gotta sow his wild oats or something, plus, I think our names are still big enough that that would get some attention. And he's not...he's with girls. You know." "Shhh," said Justin, just for him. "Don't worry about that, Nick. Don't think about that right now." Nick wasn't sure what that meant, but it kept Justin in his arms and looking happy so he *didn't* worry about it. Too much. "I'm just gonna see what happens," he said, a little louder. "I'm good right now, but I'm not dealing with it yet. When I do ... " He shrugged.

"I'll give you my number," said Kevin unexpectedly. "You give me a call, if things get rough. I know how it is."

Nick coughed incredulously at the idea of Kevin as sympathetic listener, but cut it off when Howie elbowed him in the ribs. "We'll be okay. Ste and me, it wasn't exactly a *divorce*, with lawyers and stuff, but it was still kinda the same. With the house and everything."

"Piss on that fucker," AJ growled, kicking at a table leg and almost spilling Nick's soda. "I still say you shoulda let me hurt him. What a screaming asshole."

"He wasn't much worse than anything you and Kev or Justin went through," Nick pointed out.

Kevin grunted like he didn't agree, but he also didn't argue. Much. "Still," he said. "That guy ... it's one thing to divorce someone when things just don't work out. It's another to have someone do what he did to you." Which, Nick maintained, still wasn't much different than what they went through, especially Justin.

"At least when you get divorced, people acknowledge your pain," said Howie. "When you split with someone people never know you were with in the first place ... you kind of have to pretend it never happened. That's hard."

"That would be," murmured Justin, leaning closer to Nick again. "I guess none of it's fun. I need -- " He stopped abruptly, and it was obvious -- to Nick at least, and probably everyone else -- that he was about to finish that with "a drink".

"It's *okay,*" AJ said a little impatiently. "I managed to stay sober for years at industry parties and awards shows, I think I can handle you wanting a drink in a moment of stress. Jesus." He shook his head at Justin. "These guys all drink. Howie owns a club. Quit trying to crawl under the table."

"Er, what he said," Nick murmured, "only a little nicer. But we don't have any beer left. You want another soda? More water? It's really okay."

"I just thought it was rude," said Justin, sighing. "I try not to say that stuff around Lance, either, for the record. I'll take that Coke now, I think." He cracked the can before looking up at AJ. "And how do you know I wasn't gonna say cigarette, anyway?"

"Because he was assuming you were going to want to wait until *after* you actually slept with Nicky to ask for one of those?" suggested Kevin.

"Because you've had that same embarrassed look on your face every time you talked about getting lit last night," AJ said, smirking at Kevin. "He's gonna cave way before the sex, I bet, on the smoking. Especially if this bizarro courtship thing they're doing drags out like it might."

"You said you thought it was smart, waiting!" Nick protested. "You agreed!"

"That was before you mentioned sowing oats," AJ responded. "Look at you. You're really gonna go out and watch him pick up some chick? He's gonna watch you make out with some hot stud on the dance floor? While you're 'kissing friends'? Yeah, good luck with that. Call me before you go, I wanna watch."

"Something like that might be worth selling tickets to," agreed Kevin, then gave Justin and Nick a very serious, very even look. "Don't fuck thinks up," he said. "Oh, give them a break," said Howie. "They'll figure it out. Who knows ... maybe it'll work for them."

Justin didn't say anything, he just looked very contemplative, and Nick got a funny feeling he wasn't going to like what Justin was thinking about. If only the guys would just shut up about it, stop giving them second thoughts. "Just...shut up," he muttered. "Like Howie says, we'll figure it out. Let's talk about something else. Like AJ's tour, or what Lance is up to, or something." He hid behind Justin as much as he could, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

"AJ's tour starts in two months, as you know. Rock and roll, baby," AJ said, shaking his head at him. "Lance is doing real good. We talk sometimes." At Nick's questioning look, he shrugged. "Met at a meeting."

"Yeah, he mentioned that," said Justin with a nod. "That you met, I didn't really know you were talking though. I guess that makes sense. He doesn't talk to me all that much, really." He looked sad when he said that. Almost as sad as he did when he talked about the divorce. Or maybe even more.

"You said he might not come to your housewarming?" Nick didn't want to push, but he hated seeing Justin so sad. "I thought...I didn't hear that things were bad with you and him. I haven't heard much about him at *all*; 'course, I'm not really up-on-the-news guy, recently."

AJ just pursed his lips, and didn't comment.

"There are issues," said Justin, not looking at anyone. "We're working on it ... kinda. I'm sure AJ knows what's going on, if they talk. Just ... lifestyle differences, I guess."

"That's pretty vague," said Kevin, sounding wary. "That could mean almost anything."

"Can't be the gay thing," Nick murmured, very curious now. "Or the...is it because you still drink, and he doesn't? But you said you don't drink around him..."

"We don't talk about you, really," AJ said. "'cept in passing, when he says he misses you. Whatever it is, I hope you are working on it. Lance is a good guy, I like him. Bitchy, but good."

"I think things are going to get better without Alicia in the picture," said Justin, more awkward talking about this than anything so far. "I haven't talked to him, since we split. Maybe I should."

"Your whole life's probably gonna be pretty different now," said Kevin, which was an understatement considering how many changes Justin had made in the last couple of weeks alone. "It might be the best time to call."

"I'll see how he feels about getting together," agreed Justin. "I have so many things to tell him, after all."

"You've got some calls to make," Nick commented idly, mind spinning around what the trouble could be with Lance. He made a note to ask Justin about details later. Maybe it would help to talk about it, and plus, Nick was *curious*. "I bet he'd be glad to hear from you. Since he misses you, and everything."

"I bet he would be," AJ agreed. "Sounds like a good idea. Just don't call him before noon, Jesus, I learned *that* the hard way."

"Oh yeah, I've known that one for *years*," said Justin, finally smiling again. "Unless it's business. He'll do business at any hour, night or day. Freak." He said it so affectionately, though, Nick knew he had to be missing him a lot.

"I'm *so* ready for some real food," said Kevin, standing up and stretching. Sometimes Nick hated him, that he could eat so damn much and never show it, but mostly he was just amused. "Who's cooking?"

"You," Nick said immediately, laughing at Kevin's grimace. "You're the hungry one, you get grill duty. There's burgers and steaks and chicken in the fridge, and don't forget Howie's gardenburgers." "I'll help," AJ jumped in, standing and shoving Kevin towards the kitchen. "Legs here'll burn everything to shit. He still hasn't figured out what 'rare' means. Hick!"

Nick propped his chin back on Justin's shoulder and watched them tussle. "You should totally call," he said, low and quiet. "I can't imagine anyone not being happy to hear from you."

"It's complicated," said Justin, just as quietly. As soon as Howie heard them talking like that, he got up and started cleaning up the mess they'd already made, moving just out of earshot. "I do want to call him, it just hasn't been the right time, yet."

"You miss him, huh?" Nick squeezed Justin around the middle, only thinking a little about the firm muscles under his fingers. "I had a fight with AJ once for almost six months. About went out of my mind, missing him, even though I was *so* pissed off, still. Family can be hard."

"Family's the hardest," agreed Justin. "He and Alicia never got along, and plus he was trying to get sober at the same time as she was taking me out partying all the time. One day I woke up and realized we hadn't talked in almost a month and it just hasn't been the same since." He sighed unhappily and turned to look at Nick as he spoke. "So many things in my life are still such a mess."

"But y'all aren't actually fighting?" Nick asked, relieved. "There's love there, I can tell. If you just fell out of touch, it won't be *too* hard to fall back in. I mean, how many years did you spend living in the guy's back pocket? That's not *such* a mess. Plus, I bet he's real excited you're split up, if he hated her."

"We aren't fighting," said Justin, "not really. There have been arguments about it, about a lot of things this last while, but we're still ... we've just been distant. I really think he's gonna be happy about this split. That's ... it's actually part of why I haven't called already. I'm not sure I'm ready for someone to be *happy* about it."

"I bet all your guys are, if she's like you described her," Nick said briefly, but didn't press the point. He took advantage of their relative privacy to press his lips to the back of Justin's neck. "In the not-a-mess column, AJ and Kevin and Howie really like you. It might be kinda hard to tell, but they do."

"Well, they were talking to me and not spitting," said Justin. "I took that as a good sign. And Kevin and AJ said some things, when you were inside. So ... yeah. I'm feeling pretty okay about this own. The past is the past, you know? I guess we all see that now. And are looking toward the future."

"How very PSA of you," Nick snickered. "Good idea, though. Plus, most of that rivalry stuff was bullshit anyway. Kevin got a little personal, but he's mellowing with age, I think. They like you for sure, though. Speaking of, Howie's invited us all to Tabu tonight, after we eat. You wanna come? Dance, look at pretty people?"

Justin hesitated before nodding, but a moment after that he even looked eager. "Yeah, you don't mind if I tag along? That sounds like fun." Before Nick could say anything, Justin leaned in and gave him another soft kiss. "You know how in medieval times, opposing kings would, like, marry off their children, to bring peace and prosperity between their kingdoms? That's us, I think."

"You're a treaty bride?" Nick covered his flustered confusion with a grin. "J, you shoulda told me. Do I get your dowry?" He leaned in and kissed Justin, just as softly, but with a hint of flickering tongue. "I want you to come. Ah, with us, I mean, tonight. Dancing. If you're lucky we'll get to watch AJ. His new moves for the tour, man, holy shit. And *I'll* be watching *you* dance."

"Dancing," agreed Justin. "Only I'll be watching you, I think. This is ... " Whatever he was going to say, he changed his mind. "Yeah, my eyes will be on you." It was his turn to lean in and steal a kiss, a little longer and wetter than the last.

"Mmmm," Nick purred, turning and angling his head so that Justin could kiss him more easily. Watching long, dark lashes flutter down on Justin's cheeks. "If we're watching each other, we won't get much dancing done. You won't find a lady. We might trip and fall and look really silly." He sucked on Justin's tongue, slow and sweet like it was candy.

"Maybe I don't need to find a lady," murmured Justin. "Maybe I just need to jerk off a lot and take this as slow as we can." And then they were kissing again, gently and quietly, but with an intensity to it, too.

Nick's stomach lurched at Justin's words, and his hands settled tentatively at Justin's waist, pulling him a little closer. "You sounded pretty sure, before," he murmured into Justin's mouth. "Do what you need to do. They can't scare me off. If we're meant to be, it'll work out. We'll make it."

"I didn't have all the info, before," said Justin carefully. "I was still working with the mindset that I wasn't going to meet someone for real, that I would be free to whore around. I'm still ... I'm still worried that I'm going to mess this up ... hence the slow. No sex for a while. But it's new and very different and even in the middle of all my shit it manages to make me feel pretty good. So maybe I don't need to be going looking for something else."

"I don't want you to look for something else," Nick said, rubbing his thumbs along the bottom of Justin's ribcage, pulling back a little to watch his eyes. "Not for real. But it is new, and really different, for you, and you have so much going on. And if you need to...we're not, I mean. Do you mean committment? Because for me, that's a bigger rebound danger than the sex. The jumping into something intense with someone else, before things are figured out. I will wait for you, you know. If you need me to."

"Slow," said Justin again. "Really slow. I think I'm still kinda feeling this thing out, seeing how it fits and all. But suddenly hopping into bed with someone else just doesn't feel right anymore. I'm not saying I won't, because ... well, I'm just not saying that. I'm just not sure. But it's not such a driving force, now. God ... you must think I'm totally stringing you along here. I swear, that's not what I'm trying to do."

"I know." Nick chuckled a little. "You're definitely not stringing me along, or if you are, I'm the happiest hooked fish in history. I can't believe I'm touching you like this, that I'm allowed. We can just take things as they go, see how they flow. And we can dance, tonight. And right now, I can do this." He pulled Justin almost into his lap, and licked at his mouth until Justin opened for him, and welcomed the dizzy lightheaded feeling that he was starting to crave.

Justin definitely didn't seem to have any complaints about that. It was probably still easy for him, because kissing was kissing no matter whose lips you were doing it with, and good kissing was even better -- which this was. There was nothing to freak out about yet. Nick just hoped that they weren't anywhere close to something that was.

Nick snugged Justin in even closer, feeling every breath he took, aching to be as close as he could get. He wanted it all, right now, and had to pause for a deep, controlling breath, before he started pushing too hard. Even now, one of his hands had drifted down to Justin's hip, and was kneading rythmically. Once his breathing had slowed a little, he licked his lips and leaned in, only to hear someone clearing their throat loudly behind him.

"Go'way, AJ," he murmured, never taking his eyes from Justin's mouth. "Busy."

"Horndogs, knock that shit off long enough to tell me if you want steaks or burgers or what."

Justin gave Nick a soft, wry grin before turning his head to look at AJ. "I'd kill for a steak," he said politely, "Nick, baby, what would you like? You know better than any of us what you've got in there." Asking them what they wanted meant that Kevin was going to be back out there to start the grill soon, though, and their moment of privacy would be over.

"I'm good," he said, still not looking at AJ. "Nothing for me," he clarified, when Justin sent him a puzzled look. He really wasn't very hungry, his stomach was too tight with anticipation, and all the confusion in his head.

"Oh, don't start this shit," AJ said, disgusted. "He gets all worked up when he's interested in someone, and stops eating," he clarified to Justin. "What are you eating, Nick?"

"Fuck you." Nick pulled back from Justin, stiffening instantly. "I'm not fucking hungry, and fuck you for saying that in front of him."

"Hey," said Justin softly, resting a hand on his arm and trying to meet his eyes. "Hey, it's okay." He waited a moment, but Nick didn't say anything about it so he looked back up at AJ. "How about you just make extra; it'll always keep in the fridge, if someone gets hungry later. No big deal. Um, right?" He didn't sound really convinced, though.

"Make me a steak," Nick said stiffly, not looking at *either* of them. "I changed my mind. I'm hungry after all." Last thing he needed was Justin thinking he was some kind of teenaged girl freak who got so overwrought he couldn't eat.

"Don't do me any favors," AJ snarked at him, rolling his eyes at Justin. "And here I thought going to school would make you *less* of a diva." He stomped off towards the kitchen again.

"Sorry," Nick said miserably. "If I told you that's an old sore spot, would it help you think I'm not a complete freakshow with bad manners?"

"I don't think you are," Justin assured him. "That was just ... a little weird. I'm guessing there's a whole lot of backstory there that I don't know anything about? I mean ... you're okay, right?"

"I'm fine," Nick hastened to assure him. "I'm good. I mean, do I *look* un-fine? I'm not starving, here." He patted his own stomach. "I'm sorry it was weird. I just...being around them, there's so much history. He knows *too* much about me, I think, and since it's AJ he's got no mouth filter. I'll...I'll try not to be weird, any more."

"Did you *used* to be un-fine then?" asked Justin, still being so gentle. "Tell me if I'm being pushy, I just don't know where that whole thing came from, there. It kinda came out of nowhere, for me." He reached out and rested a hand on Nick's stomach, like Nick had been doing to him earlier. "You weren't being all weird, it's just stuff I don't know."

"I've had...moments of un-fineness," Nick said carefully, downplaying it with a shrug, and automatically tightening his abs. "You're not being pushy, not at all. You can ask me anything, I don't care." He didn't add that he might not tell the *whole* truth, all the time, if Justin did. "There's lots of stuff we don't know, yet. Learning'll be lots of fun."

"Right," said Justin, giving him a shaky smile as he pulled his hand away to rest it on Nick's thigh. "So you'll tell me what un-fineness means, then, if I ask? I really ... there's *so* much I don't know. Just so much."

"Me too," Nick reminded him, smiling back and feeling just as shaky, leg jumping a little under Justin's hand. "Um. I sometimes stopped eating. And then ate everything in sight for a while, and then stopped eating again. I think the guys are always gonna be keeping an eye on my food. It wasn't a big deal, though, honestly, so don't pay attention when they try to make it into a big deal. Like AJ."

"Okay," said Justin easily. "It happens, 'specially when we're younger and everything was, you know, tense. As long as everything's cool now, I won't worry." When he leaned in this time, he just brushed his lips against Nick's forehead. "It's a pain, when they look out for you like that, but it's a good thing, too."

"It's mostly a pain," Nick grumbled, but smiled and felt himself ease when Justin didn't press him for details. "In their heads, I'm pretty sure I'm still about fourteen years old. Between this and the dating inquisition, I'm about ready to boot them all out on their asses. You're gonna think I'm totally incapable of taking care of myself." He put his hand over Justin's, on his thigh, and dragged it up to his hip, tugging Justin closer. "C'mere and kiss me one more time before they get back. Nothing bad happens when we're kissing."

"Brothers will always treat us like that," said Justin. "Guys like you and me, the babies, we just need to learn how to live with it." And then he was kissing him again,even more confidently than before, even *knowing* that it wouldn't be long before they had company out there.

His hands were actually touching, this time, Nick could feel large palms against his sides and back, and he arched into the touch, sighing his arousal and pleasure. "Not a baby any more," he breathed, an inch away from trying to crawl into Justin's lap. "You either. Big. Gorgeous." His mouth slipped off Justin's, and their cheeks slid together, Justin's stubble a warm burn on his skin.

"Big. Gorgeous," Justin echoed him as they held each other. "Yeah, that about sums it up. I've never been with anyone like you, Nick. I don't think I've ever had a friend quite like you either. This is ... exciting. I'm excited."

There was a loud rachet from inside, then Kevin's voice came floating out. "Fair warning," he said. "I'm almost there ... "

"I'm excited too," Nick whispered daringly, winking at Justin and twisting his hips a little, before raising his voice. "Thank you, Kevin, we're totally decent, y'know. Nothing you ain't seen before!"

"Doesn't mean we wanna see it again," AJ's voice chimed in.

"I think I'm still mad at him," Nick announced thoughtfully, holding Justin close and willing his erection to subside. It was starting to get painful. "Hi Kevin. Grill's right over there, it's electric."

"Well, that'll save me some trouble," he said, pointedly not looking at the two of them, except out of the corner of his eye. "I grabbed whatever you had in there. I figure it'll get eaten sooner or later."

"I'm feeling better," murmured Justin. "It just might get eaten by *me*." Nick still hadn't moved away, really, and Justin kissed him again -- just softly -- which didn't help the whole erection-going-down thing much at all. "You're gonna have some, though, right?"

"Sure," Nick lied with the ease of long practice, smiling and licking his lips. After tasting Justin, who'd want food? "I bought tons and tons of food. I bet there'll be enough even for a Justin who's feeling better. You and AJ might have to arm wrestle for it or something, though, he eats more than anyone. You can LOOK at us, Kevin, we're not being gross or anything." He kissed Justin's nose one time, grinning at him.

"Depends on your definition of gross," AJ commented on his way by, hands full of condiments. "Some of the things in your fridge are gross by *any* definition, though."

Justin smiled, then snickered a little. "Either your housekeeping arrangement doesn't extend to cleaning out the fridge, or your taste in food is about as undiscriminating as mine these days. Man, can I say for the millionth time how great it is not to have any restrictions on that stuff?" For the millionth time for him, maybe, but the first time for them.

"This spread would break even the most permissive diet," said Kevin. "Except Howie's stuff. Because he's a freak."

"I think it's mostly leftovers. I had some people over for the game Wedesday, and those are probably getting a little old," Nick explained to AJ, before punching him. "I'm still mad at you, a little. And Howard eats like a bunny rabbit."

"I never had diet restrictions," AJ said, handing spices to Kevin and rolling his eyes at Nick. "They were always force feeding me. Being too skinny ain't easy either. Nasty weight-gainer shakes, ugh."

"In fond memory of those days," said Justin, leaning across Nick for the food on the table, "I think I'm going to have another chip or five. Cheers, boys." He grinned at Nick before taking a big bite.

"Amen and Hallelujah," same Kevin's voice, still over by the grill. "Just make sure you save some for me. AJ ... what the hell is *this*, anyway?"

"It's..." AJ examined the label. "Eastern Delight. I don't know, some kind of spice mix. I just grabbed what was there, dude. Don't put it on my steak, I don't like Chinese food." He handed it back to Kevin, and sprawled down onto the picnic table bench across from Nick. "Sorry about earlier, man. Didn't mean to push any buttons."

"Liar." Nick smiled forgiveness at him, though, as the steaks started to sizzle. "Cheers, Justin." He grabbed a chip himself, and nibbled at it.

Justin grinned even wider. "It's a shame we got sand in those ones last night, though. What a waste. It's a sin to waste junk food you know." Justin was the guy who worked out for fun, though, Nick remembered. He could probably eat whatever the hell he wanted. It *was* good, though, that he was starting to get his appetite back.

"It's a *crime*," AJ corrected Justin, flipping a chip at Nick's head. "Oops. Better arrest me. Only pegging Nicky is *such* a good cause, no jury in the world'd convict."

"This house has never *seen* this much junk food," Nick sighed, envisioning the hassle of throwing out all the leftovers. Maybe he could send them home with Justin. "So waste away. Only don't spill in the house, or my cleaning service will have my balls on a string. God knows I don't need to have it around."

"Don't be silly," said Justin, grabbing a chip and hurling it back at AJ. And missing. "Between you and me, I'm sure we can take care of it. We did just fine yesterday. Or was that just me? Anyway, yeah, I wouldn't worry about it."

"From the look of your fridge, it saw plenty last Wednesday," commented Kevin. "Everyone likes their steaks well done, right?"

"No!" AJ howled, leaping up and dashing to Kevin's side. "Rare, you uncultured motherfucker, rare! That means red on the inside! Don't ruin the meat!"

"God, you'd think the world was ending," Nick commented over AJ's screeching, giving up on his chip and trying to stick it into Justin's curls so it would stand up like a shark's fin. "You can take them home with you, I bet you don't have any food in the house at all! We went through a lot last night. I always eat like a cow when I'm drinking."

"And still, you only had half as much as me," laughed Justin, reaching up to feel his hair to try to figure out what Nick was doing. "Last night was ... really great, Nick. I'd like to have a lot more last nights."

"We can hear you," said Kevin as AJ fought him for control of the grill. "Just so you know."

"You're so dirty," Nick called to Kevin. "It wasn't like that. And I want mine medium. Not charcoal, not bloody, medium. And what the hell did you do with Howie?" He set the chip so it was nice and straight, then grinned at Justin. "I'd like to have more last nights too," he said, too low for the others to hear.

"At least move it off the flame," AJ begged, reduced to pleading by Kevin's extreme height advantage.

"Howie needed to use your phone," said Kevin, smacking AJ's hand with the spatula. "He'll be out when he's done."

"What did you do to my hair?" asked Justin, grinning but managing to look suspicious at the same time. "You did something, didn't you. What did you do?" He reached up and tried to feel again.

"Duh-nuh-duh-nuh-duh-nuh..." Nick sang the Jaws theme, grinning. Justin had a little Dorito shark fin. "Nothing, I didn't do anything. You look great, I swear. Dude, Kevin, don't make me come get that spatula. If you overcook AJ's steak he'll be a bitchqueen for the rest of the night, and I wanna dance with him at Tabu. Also, did I tell you I wanted mine medium? Because I do." He'd heard that was the best way to cook it if you wanted to refrigerate it after.

"Yeah, me too," said Justin, "Medium." He made another attempt at his hair and knocked the chip out. "Nick, you jerk," he laughed as he stared at it. "I can't believe you just did that. Is that your way of telling me that I need a haircut? Chris used to save time and just put gum in it so I had no choice."

"No! Don't you dare!" Nick leaned towards Justin and patted the curls anxiously. "I love the curls. Don't cut them. I mean, trims, sure, but don't do anything drastic." His old fantasy of fisting Justin's hair during a blowjob had been recently and joyously reborn.

"Hah!" AJ emerged from a desperate scuffle with Kevin holding the spatula. "Okay, mine is so done. More than done, really, but I'll try to survive. How medium do you want yours, J?"

"Me?" said Justin, looking at him in surprise a second. "I dunno. Medium. In the middle somewhere. I'm not really picky, you know, I'm just kinda hungry. Didn't manage to keep anything in my stomach from last night. Um. You probably didn't need to know that."

"Nothing we didn't already know," said Kevin. "I'll just cook yours a little longer here ... "

"He's wrecking it," AJ warned ominously, sliding back into his seat, steak steaming on his plate. "God, this looks good. For all your wacko eating habits, you sure do know how to pick out a steak, Nicky."

"Quit calling me that," Nick demanded, before leaning back. "I got the opposite problem, J. Ate so much last night, I'm still full. Chicken, pizza, all that beer." He watched AJ cut into his steak detatchedly. "I think I'll save mine for an after-clubbing snack."

"I'm not wrecking it!" said Kevin, exasperated. "I'll take it off in a minute."

"Right," said Justin. "Afterward. Did you have *anything* yet today?" He watched Nick warily for a moment before his eyes skidded over to AJ.

"We only got *up* a couple of hours ago, an' yes, lots and lots and lots of chips." Nick gestured at the many crumpled empty bags lying around them like evidence, before changing the subject with as much finesse as he could. "Oh, hey, speaking of clubbing, do you need to go home and get clothes? Howie runs a posh joint, y'know." AJ glared at Nick, but his mouth was full, so he just shook his head and blinked at Justin and chewed.

"Yeah, maybe," said Justin. "Or I could just borrow something, I think. I only unpacked one bag of clothes so far -- I can't even imagine trying to find anything in that place right now. You must have something nice I could wear, right?"

"Nick has an entire spare room full of clothes he doesn't wear anymore," said Kevin. "He'll have something. I think your food is done, guys."

"Between all the too-big stuff there's a ton of too-small stuff that should fit you. I even think there's some leather. Possibly or probably. I went through a leather phase when I was thin." Nick grinned at the idea of Justin in leather, as he stood and grabbed two paper plates. "Load me up," he demanded, holding them out to Kevin and then returning to the table. "One medium steak for you." He handed the much larger of the two to Justin, and sat down with his own. It just wasn't worth the hassle from AJ to not eat at least a little.

"Looks great," said Justin enthusiastically, but then he was getting up. "I've got some crap on my hands, from the grass or something. I need to wash up, I'll be right back." He was vanishing into the house before Nick could say anything.

"I left Howie's grass burger next to the grill," said Kevin as he sat down at the table with Nick and AJ. "Nick ... is everything okay with you? I thought you weren't doing this anymore ... "

"Doing what?" Nick slowly spread steak sauce on his food, drawing it out. "Everything's good. Classes are good, Justin's *very* good, everything's fine. Nothing's wrong, Kevin. You don't have to worry about me."

"Nick, please," he said. "I know I don't see you much anymore, but I know you well enough to know the signs. Are you still talking to that doctor? Is this just because of Justin? Talk to us, Nicky, we're still your family ... "

"I'm not talking to the doctor, I'm *fine*," Nick said, impatient. He cut a small piece of meat and shoved it in his mouth, chewing obviously. "See? I'm eating, I'm perfectly okay. I was a little nervous earlier because me and Justin were too up in the air, you know how my stomach gets when I'm nervous. But I'm fine!" He swallowed with effort, and looked pleadingly at AJ.

"Don't look over here, kiddo. I ain't buying it either." AJ shook his head at him.

"Like I said, Nicky," said Kevin, taking a bigger piece of his own. "We're still family. We still know you, and we love you no matter what. We wouldn't tease you so much if we didn't. But we can be serious, too, and I'm worried. Please don't get all defensive, just tell us what's going on."

"I got fat," Nick finally said, defensively in spite of himself. "Again. Superfat. So I went on a diet, a real one, healthy and everything, and I was exercising and stuff, nothing extreme. And it worked really great, but this week I've been eating a lot of crap, so I'm trying to pace myself. Plus, Justin makes my stomach go all knotty, he's so beautiful. That's *it*."

"You and your relationships," AJ sighed. "You're the only person in the known world who starts starving himself *after* he gets someone, you realize that?"

"Okay," said Kevin. He didn't sound like he believed him, entirely, but he stopped pushing so hard. "But you know that stopping entirely won't compensate for that, Nicky. I know you know that, we've been through this so many times. And I bet Justin would be telling you the same thing, if we were discussing this in front of him. Just ... be healthy, okay? You know we worry about you."

"Don't discuss this in front of him," Nick said, near panic. Ste had been hard enough on him... "Please, Kevin. AJ. Don't, it's so precarious right now, I need to be perfect for him, at least for a little while. I'm being healthy, I promise. I go swimming and surfing almost every day, and I eat rabbit food like Howie, so it's healthy. You don't have to worry about me."

"You don't need to be perfect for *any*one," said Kevin, but he was nodding. "Just keep being healthy and we won't, Nicky -- that's why we're talking about this now. But if you start falling into your old habits ... I'm sorry, but I *will* say something. I love you too much to not."

"I won't," Nick promised fervently, resolving to be *very* healthy for the rest of the weekend. He even took another bite of his steak. "You won't have to say anything, I promise. I love you too. I'm being so good."

AJ sighed again, but for once seemed to have nothing to say. He just reached across the table and cupped Nick's cheek tenderly for a second, before going back to his food.

"Hey," said Howie, finally coming back outside again. "I think you guys lost something." He had Justin in tow, stumbling along behind him with a sheepish look on his face.

"I wasn't *lost*," he insisted. "I was exploring. They're two entirely different things."

"Going through my stuff?" Nick grinned up at Justin and Howie, relieved that they were there to put a stop the the conversation. "Your steaks are getting cold. Your steak and your gardenburger, I mean. Come sit and eat with us, you antisocial people. Tell me what horrible things you found in my house."

"Hope you got him before he found the *really* embarrassing stuff. Didja see the video room?" AJ smirked, and Nick looked at Justin, horrified.

Justin raised his eyebrows at Nick again, looking interested. "I didn't manage to get that far," he admitted. "I was busy rummaging through your medicine cabinet and dresser drawers when Howie dragged me back down here."

"Oh, you were not," said Howie, grabbing himself a plate and going to retrieve his burger from the grill.

"Hey, you don't know that," he said, a little wickedly. "All you know is that you found me coming down the stairs."

"Nothing interesting in there," Nick dismissed, grinning too. "Even the condoms are old. Hope you don't think I'm *too* boring." He took another bite of his food, waving his fork at Kevin after.

"You? Boring? Never, Nicky," AJ laughed. "You were never, ever boring. I can't imagine you starting now."

"Definitely not boring," agreed Justin, digging enthusiastically into his steak. "All kinds of intersting things in there. You have some things to answer for later, young man." He pointed his fork at Nick in playful accusation before taking another bit of his food."

"What? What did you see?" Nick tried to run a frantic mental inventory of anything Justin might have found, but his house was just too big, and he had no idea where Justin'd been. He laid his fork down and nibbled on a thumbnail.

"Yeah. What *did* you find?" AJ asked Justin, fascinated. "And what the hell were you looking for, anyway? Were you really rummaging around in his shit?"

Justin just grinned mischievously. "That's between me and Nick," he said firmly, and looked as though he would say no more about it. "This is great steak, Kevin. Not ruined at all."

"Well, I'm glad *one* of you thinks so," he muttered, giving AJ a good glare.

"Kentucky freak. No appreciation for a good piece of meat. Right, Nicky?" AJ leered at him, and Nick giggled helplessly, pushing his plate away and leaning against Justin's shoulder, glad to have him back.

"You have to tell me, you know," he murmured, under Howie's laughter. "I'm dying of curiousity."

Justin just smiled mysteriously. "Did he wreck your steak?" he asked, eyeing Nick's almost-full plate. "Do you want me to go get you something else? I'm pretty good in your kitchen now, I think, I'm sure I can find something."

"I didn't ruin his steak," insisted Kevin. "I did it just the way he likes it. Eat up, Nicky."

Nick glared at Kevin, but desperately wanted to avoid discussion about it. Kevin knew it, too, the fucker, and Nick pulled the plate back towards him, taking an unenthusiastic bite. "It's not wrecked," he admitted grudgingly. "AJ's just very particular. And God, Justin, you're the guest! You shouldn't be out getting me food!"

AJ cocked his head and regarded Justin critically. "I think he'd look fetching in an apron. Maybe you should domesticate and keep this one. Especially since he already knows your kitchen."

"And bedroom," Justin was sure to add, that smile on his face again. The one that made Nick blush when he saw it. "I got a real good look at the bedrom. The bathroom is a little fuzzier, though, I'm afraid. I'm not really sure I'm a guest anymore, though. Maybe I *should* make myself useful."

"Sit, eat," said Howie, laying a hand on his shoulder like he could get up at any momen. Nick still wasn't sure he wouldn't, like he had before. "If anyone needs anything, I'll be the one getting up. You're still a guest. For now."

"If anyone's getting up, it's me," Nick grumbled, poking at his steak. "You guys haven't spent enough time here to know where stuff is. Except Howie. And Howie hasn't sat down for two minutes straight yet." He looked around the table hopefully. "Anyone need more drinks? Also, I bought pie yesterday. Peach, because it's Kevin's favorite."

"See? I knew you loved me," said Kevin, smiling at him. "Of course, you'll have some, too. I seem to remember you loving peach pie, Nicky. You can't have changed *that* much since the last time I saw you."

"Me, too," said Justin, grinning. Nick couldn't tell if he'd caught the nuance of the conversation or not; sometimes he thought Justin caught everything, sometimes he thought he saw only what he wanted to. "Bring it on. Well, once we're finished the steak, anyway."

"I'm a little hurt you didn't get me apple," AJ said, but he was grinning too. "Peach'll have to do. And *everyone*'ll have a piece."

"You know it." Nick knew that graceful agreement was the only way, here. Time was, he'd have been locked in hysterical resistance, and Kevin would be shouting. He was *so* glad he wasn't a teenager any more. "It's still my favorite too." As far as he knew. He took another small bite of steak, smiling at Justin.

Justin was already done, obviously *very* recovered from his hangover at this point. Apparently Coke *was* a miracle cure after all. "I like you fine, AJ," he said, "but not enough to bake you an apple pie. So I guess you *will* have to settle for peach."

Howie had fallen silent, watching the other four of them. Nick wondered what he was seeing, and if he'd be getting a lecture from *him*, too, later. There really was nothing like getting together with the group to make him feel like the kid he'd once been. Or to remind him that maybe he wasn't as grown up as he thought, sometimes.

"Can you bake an apple pie? Shit, Nick, this one's a keeper for real, if he can." AJ chomped the last bite of his steak, and banged his fork on the plate playfully. "Pie! Bring me pie, wench!"

"Oh, don't even go there, AJ," Nick said, grinning as he stood to grab the plates. "Call me wench and pay the price. No pie for you, if you're not nice to me! I will withhold pie!"

"Nick, you didn't fin--" Justin began to point out, then gave up and fell silent. "Are you sure I can't help with anything? I feel so lazy just sitting here." Apparenly he'd forgotten everything he'd learned about slacking the night before. "Can I carry something?"

"If you insist," Nick said, handing him the empty cups and Howie's plate. "He's all overachieving," he explained to AJ, who wasn't laughing at his joke. He avoided looking at Kevin altogether. "I'm trying to teach him to slack. It's rough, it's a long road, but someone has to take it. In the meantime, he's good at carrying stuff."

"Couldn't have a better teacher," AJ admitted, finally cracking a grin. "If anyone can turn you into a slacker, it's Nick. Go on, the pie's waiting."

"Yes, pie, pie," agreed Justin, "that's my motivation. You can pile more on here, you know, Nick. I can take it."

"There *is* no more," said Kevin. "Go, bring back pie." When Nick looked up, though, Kevin's eyes were definitely on him and not on Justin.

"Yes, I get it, pie," he laughed. "I'll be right back."

"I'm coming," Nick insisted. "You don't know where my pie plate is, I bet. I wonder if I have a pie plate? We're about to find out." He hurried away at Justin's side, not wanting to be left alone with them at the moment. He'd definitely eat all his pie. Head them off at the pass.

"How's the hangover?" He nudged Justin with his hip as he dropped paper plates and trash into the garbage can.

"Gone, thankfully," said Justin, dumping his own load and dusting off his hands. "How's the appetite, Nicky?"

"Fine." Nick smiled at him briefly, before rummaging in his cupboard for a plate large enough to hold the pie. "Hey, can you grab forks, in the drawer by the sink. I'm just gonna get more paper plates. Slacker like me, can't be doin' dishes."

"Nick," said Justin, stopping him by wrapping an arm around his waist. "I'm not going to judge. I just want to know, between you and me. And ... is it me? Is it something I did, that's triggering this right now?"

"Oh, no," Nick said, shocked that Justin would think such a thing, and touching his cheek anxiously. "For one thing, there's nothing wrong. I'm just not hungry right now, it's not any big deal, I talked to Kevin about it. I do want my pie, you know. And anyway, you've been nothing but amazing, totally. Since yesterday. And you're holding up so great, J, you look like you're having fun. Are you having fun?"

"I don't believe you that there's nothing wrong," said Justin, "but I won't make you talk to me. You can, if you want to, since you know all of *my* baggage, now. But you don't have to. And yes." He gave Nick a soft kiss. "I'm having a good time. I didn't expect to feel this good this soon, and I have you to thank for that. So where's the pie?"

"It's in the fridge. Behind the pasta." Nick didn't let him go, though, pulling him in tight and kissing him again. "I'm really fine, you'll see, I'm healthy as a horse," he insisted. "You're so sweet to worry. I'm the one who should be thinking about you, making sure you're okay. These guys can be a handful, I know."

"Like I said, you don't have to tell me," whispered Justin. "So you don't need to make excuses for it. Now, behind the pasta you said?" He began to pull away, but not too insistently. "I'm really doing pretty good, Nick. They're a handful, sure, but that makes for a great distraction."

"There's nothing to tell," Nick insisted, suddenly feeling a stupid prickling behind his eyes as he let Justin go. "It's not a dirty secret or anything, there's nothing wrong with me." He turned to the sink, and grabbed for forks and napkins.

"I never said there was," said Justin, sliding an arm around him again, from behind. "I didn't suggest that there was something wrong with you, just that there was something wrong. Sometimes there are things that go wrong that we've got to fix. Like me right now, I've got plenty." He was silent for a moment, then kissed Nick's shoulder and let him go, heading for the fridge. "Behind the pasta ... ah, there we go ... "

"Thanks," Nick said quietly, turning and smiling at him, though it felt a little shaky. "That's the pie, all right. And...and things went wrong, with me, before, but I'm better now. I swear it. You can ask Kevin, if you want. He knows, he was there when things were pretty bad, and he knows that they're better now. I'm very careful and healthy." He piled up the silverware on plates, and smiled again. "You can stop worrying about me, and let me worry about *you*."

"I'm a worrier," said Justin with an accepting shrug. "You wouldn't think it to look at me, but there you have it. Just looking for all the info, I guess. I worry most about what I don't know. Do you want to cut the pie before we go out there or let them fend for themselves?"

"I can see it," Nick said. "You were always a perfectionist, I remember. Liked everything to be just exactly right. I bet that leads to worry." And not just for you, he thought silently. "Let 'em fend for themselves. You and me get the first pieces, we came all the way in here, and stuff."

"Probably why I'm having so much trouble with the slacking concept," agreed Justin. "I'm liking the whole getting-the-first-piece-of-pie perk, though." He gave Nick another little kiss before lifting the pie again to take it out. "I really do like them, Nick. And not just because they're a distraction. You've got some really good people, around you. Real good people."

"They're amazing," Nick agreed, kissing Justin back happily. "I love them a lot, even when they're being huge overprotective pains. I can't wait to go out with everyone tonight. We haven't done that in years. I just wish Brian could be here too. Hey, you can be Brian for a night!" He looked Justin up and down critically. "Think you could shrink five inches and not swear and be a big happy goofball, for a while?"

"And be a daddy? I'm not sure I can handle that all at once, I'm afraid. I'm not even sure I can do the big, happy goofball bit right now," he admitted. "I can give it a shot, though. I'm sure I'll have a good time. Probably won't be drinking, though, and that has nothing to do with AJ."

"Yeah? Don't like drinking on a hangover?" Nick held the door with his foot, so Justin didn't have to juggle the pie. "You don't have to be Brian. I'm missing him, but I'm just as glad you're you and you're here."

"I don't really intend to be Brian," said Justin, finally giving him a smile again. Nick missed them, when they weren't there. "I'm having a hard enough time being *myself* right now, figuring out what that is. I don't think I'm going to mess around with being someone else. We brought pie!" he announced.

"Whoo!" AJ broke off what he was saying quietly to Kevin, and grinned at them. "Bring it here, boys. That thing has my name all over it."

Nick scowled at him, and smacked at his hands. "No, hands off. For one thing, you were mean to me, for another thing, Justin and me get first pieces because we walked for it, and for a third thing, Kevin gets next piece because it's his favorite, and then Howie because he's so sweet. If there's any left you can have that."

AJ goggled at him, shocked, then turned to Justin. "You like me, right, Justin? You even said you did. Don't let him do this to me, it just ain't right!"

"Sorry, dude, Nick gets a piece before you do," insisted Justin as he set the pie down and then sat back in his place again. "You don't get to argue. The rest, well, you can fight for that. Once I have my piece, the pie's fair game." Right then, though, it wasn't, and Justin made it a point to serve Nick up a big ol' piece before offering it up to anyone else. "Of course I like you. I'm giving you a fair shot. See?"

"He likes me best," Nick crowed, before staring at his plate. "Holy shit, that's like half the pie!" he breathed, shaking his head. "You're gonna have to share with me, Justin, or there won't be enough for everybody." He'd promised himself that he'd eat pie, sure, but this was ridiculous.

"Don't worry, we're sharing," Justin assured him, grabbing a couple of forks. He took a moment to look at the rest of them, though. "Well, go ahead. I said I'd *bring* the pie, not serve it."

Kevin beat AJ to it, but only by half a second. "Ha, you lose!"

Justin took a forkful and held it up to Nick's mouth. "This looks great," he said. "You'll have to tell me where you got it, later."

"I can tell you now," Nick said agreeably, eyeing the bite of pie. "There's this little bakery near the freeway. I'll show you." He obediently opened his mouth, chewed and swallowed. It *was* good pie.

"It's not for me, dipshit," AJ said scornfully, stealing Kevin's piece and handing it to Howie. "He's too nice to fight, so it ain't fair. Fuck, Nicky, you look like bad porn, sucking on that fork."

"Shut up," said Kevin, elbowing him. "Here, take your pie already, you whiny little brat, you. There's plenty. Nicky, you look like you're enjoying that. Good."

"Have more," murmured Justin, offering him the second bite, too.

"Next one is for you," Nick warned Justin, rolling his eyes dramatically at Kevin but taking the bite. "It's good. Mmmm, peaches." He laughed at Kevin's expression after his first bite.

"I'm neither whiny nor little," AJ said loftily. "And I'm not the one about to come from a bite of pie."

"You just have no appreciation for good food," Kevin accused him, taking another bite quickly, to the same effect. "And you are too whiny. You've always been whiny. It's how you get your way. You talk big, but you got nothing to back it up with."

"Don't encourage him," said Howie. "You know that only ends up in a tumble in the grass."

"Ain't nothing wrong wth a good tumble in the grass," mused Justin, offering Nick yet another bite.

"No, you," Nick said, turning his face away obstinately and grinning at Howie. "I like tumbling in the grass. Not with AJ, though, so quit provoking him, Kev. And how come he gets his way when he whines, and I always just get yelled at?"

AJ was staring at them all incredulously. "Whiny? I've always been *whiny*? I *never* get my way, either. Did we wear the black leather bondage straps on tour? Nooooo, we went with Kevin's trenchcoat idea. Did we all get matching belly tattoos? Nooooo, Brian wanted matching *sunglasses*."

"Oh, hush," Nick grinned. "Eat your pie."

"See?" said Kevin. "Whining. We have a guest, AJ, you should be on your best behaviour."

"I'm not a guest," said Justin, "I'm just a guy that crashed your party." He did eat the bite that Nick turned back at him, but the next one came righ tback at Nick again. "Just be yourselves."

"Oh believe me," laughed Howie. "We are."

Nick opened his mouth and took the bite, then swatted at Justin. "Enough! I'm not a baby, I can feed myself." He picked up his fork in illustration. "You're the guy that crashed the party so gently there wasn't even a crash." He smiled.

"I am on my best behavior," AJ protested. "I've been in the studio for a month, and not going out, and I *could* be humping Kevin's leg right now, you know. Cannot *wait* to get out there and shake some ass tonight." He danced a little in his seat, in illustration. "Howie's always got the finest ladies at Tabu..."

"That he does," agreed Justin fervently, batting Nick's fork away and offering him another bit of the pie anyway. "What? I've been. It's not like it's a brand new club or something."

Kevin looked surprised, then wary, but he didn't say anything about it and if Nick hadn't been looking, he would have missed it entirely. "Thank god we're going then," was all he said. "Because I don't think I need to tell you what I'd have to do to you if you tried to hump my leg."

"Fine, I'll hump Howie's leg," AJ grumped, licking his fork clean of his last bite. ""He'll appreciate my fine skills, plus he's not some freakish giant who can kill me. But we're going dancing, so I won't have to hump *anyone's* leg. Probably. If Nicky stops sucking that fork."

"Grrrrr." Nick ignored AJ and bared his teeth at Justin, only opening for the pie when Justin wiggled it and made zooming noises. "Okay, you do know that I'm not four, right? Stop. No more." He scooped up his own bite before Justin could try again. "We're gonna dance with *all* the fine ladies tonight," he confirmed, twinging a little inside but hiding it well.

"Oh, come on, I was having fun," laughed Justin, giving him an ingratiating smile. "Maybe I want to see you suck the fork some more."

"You know you both are risking AJ humpage," Kevin reminded them. "You may not have seen it before, Justin, but we have, and it's not pretty."

"Do we really need to talk about AJ's sex drive?" asked Howie, polishing off his pie without anyone noticing. He was always quiet like that. Quiet and getting everything he liked without too much trouble. "Is there anything left that we don't know about it?"

"Justin doesn't know it all," Nick protested, leaning his head away from Justin's fork. "He'll hump anyone, any time," he said, grinning at AJ, who balled up his napkin and threw it at him. "You'll get to see tonight, I bet. And I can suck my *own* fork, thankyouverymuch." Justin feeding him was strangely intimate, and was making him a little uncomfortable.

"I have standards," AJ sniffed, taking off his sunglasses and polishing them. "And it's *very* pretty, I'll have you know. Y'all would be lucky to get some of my attention. Bastards."

"Yes, we're all bastards," said Kevin dryly. "You've known us for years, AJ, this shouldn't come as any surprise. And, well, you never knew Justin was a bastard but you always called him one so I think that counts."

"Be nice," said Howie, beginning to gather plates, but not Justin and Nick's. Justin had started eating the pie himself, wordlessly, staring down at his hand as he did it. Nick couldn't catch his expression. "As nice as you know how, anyway."

"Hey," Nick said softly, tapping Justin's fork with his until he looked up, and smiling at him. "Let me get in there for a bite." He scooped up a forkful and ate it dramatically, drawing the fork out as seductively as he could.

"Nice," AJ snorted, getting up to help Howie. "I never singled Timberlake out for attention, he was just included in 'those N Sync bastards' by default. No offence, man. Nick, Christ. The fork ain't appreciating the fellatio."

"No, but I am," murmured Justin, then blinked a couple times and looked startled, like he hadn't meant to stay it out loud. "Um. I mean. Good pie, huh?"

"Great pie," chuckled Kevin. "God. You two. Well, hey, if you're happy, Nicky, who am I to argue? I think that I'll just clean up here and disappear for a few minutes, though ... "

Nick blushed and stared at the table, as Kevin disappeared. He hadn't meant to put on a display, really, was just teasing.

"I suddenly feel very third wheel," AJ mused, grinning as he followed Kevin. "Lick him like that fork, Nickolas, and you won't have any trouble keeping him away from the ladies tonight. No matter how fine they are."

"AJ," Nick groaned, banging his forehead against the table. "I love them," he mumbled into the wood, once AJ had gone, "but I wish they were dead."

"I think their teasing has gone from whatever it was in the beginning to approving," said Justin, offering Nick another bite before it was gone. "More or less, anyway. I'm still an Nsync bastard, I think. Probably always will be."

"I still want them dead," Nick grumbled, eating the bite without protest, out from under watchful eyes. He curled his tongue around the fork, for good measure. "How embarrassing. It's like going on a first date with your parents. Not that we're dating," he added hastily, "but you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean," said Justin. "Here you and I are, feeling things out and stuff, and here are your friends with a running commentary. And suggestions. Believe me, I know. I know this is your bonding time with them, though. And I think I'm in the way of that. Are you sure you don't want me to go, maybe come back tomorrow?"

"I know what you mean," said Justin. "Here you and I are, feeling things out and stuff, and here are your friends with a running commentary. And suggestions. Believe me, I know. I know this is your bonding time with them, though. And I think I'm in the way of that. Are you sure you don't want me to go, maybe come back tomorrow?"

"No," Nick said slowly, thinking about it carefully. "I think...you being here, it's a good thing. Like, we haven't seen each other in a long time, and having someone else here, someone everyone likes, it actually makes it easier. The focus wasn't on us as an *us*, you know? As Backstreet. We're just brothers hanging out with another good guy. It's cool." He smiled at Justin again. "But if it gets to be too much for you, you can flee. I'd totally understand."

"i'm not going to flee," said Justin. "I'm liking it. It's letting *me* just hang out with a bunch of guys without having to worry about everything else that's going on with me. I was just worried that me being here was throwing the whole dynamic off, with you guys. Cause if there was stuff that you guys wanted to talk about, catch up on, well you're not really doing it, I think."

"Nah. We're catching up in the best way right now, just spending time. And you're not throwing off the dynamic at all. I mean. They're being them, I'm being me, that's the important stuff." He picked his head up off the table and ran restless fingers through his hair, a nervous habit he'd never broken. "I'm glad you're liking it. Liking them. You know? It's good."

"Yeah, it could've been a lot worse," agreed Justin, his fork scraping along the plate. "Come on, Nicky, have the last bite, okay? It's all yours, I've already had tons."

Nick nodded past the sick feeling in his throat. Justin obviously thought there *was* something wrong with him, if he was already pushing like this. "It's good pie," he repeated inanely, just for something to say as he took the last bite, chewing very slowly and watching a seagull swoop low over the trees.

"Yeah," said Justin easily, smiling as Nick ate. Nick had seen that smile on other people's faces before. "You'll definitely have to show me the place you got it from. You doing all right? You look a little ... I don't know. Off, or something."

"I'm good," Nick said, smiling back at him, long painful experience taking over. "Just thinking, you know. Stuff to show you around town that you maybe haven't seen in a while, like the pie place and the new sections of the aquarium. Fun stuff, that won't interfere with your slacker education." He shoved the pie plate away from him a little more violently than he'd intended, but hoped his unwavering smile covered it up.

He could see the sadness in Justin's eyes, though, another thing all too familiar to him. "Things were really good between us, before, I think," he said after an awkward pause. "I was a real wreck but you held it together and I think it's turning out really well. But I think you've forgotten that I grew up with a bunch of guys of my own and I *know* when someone's faking it. And that's really something that I don't need in my life."

"Justin," Nick said, pleading a little, not wanting at all to go into it. Not now, when things were still so new, but Justin was sounding like he was already backing away, and all because AJ couldn't keep his damn mouth shut... "I just...it's...I don't want you to feel bad for me, or think I'm, that there are things wrong with me, when you barely know me yet and you're in a difficult place *anyway* and, and I don't even know what to tell you." He bent his head down again, sighing.

"Sheesh, Nick," he said, already sounding relaxed. "It's not like I'm going to take the whole burden onto myself or something. 'Cause you're right, I already have enough going on. That doesn't mean you have to hide things from me. Especially things that I'm -- obviously -- going to see once in a while, if not all the time. I don't know what's happened to you before, that you feel like you can't talk about stuff, but I'm not like that."

Nick shrugged a little. "People have told me that before," he commented, remembering Ste. He tossed his hair out of his eyes again, and stood, holding a hand down to Justin. "C'mon. Walk with me, I'll tell you. Just...can't sit still while I'm doing it. It's not such a big deal, really, but Kevin and AJ and them, they make it into a huge *thing*, so..." He trailed off, mind racing to come up with the most innocent way to describe his wierd relationship with food.

"Yeah, sure," said Justin, licking the last of his peach off his fingers. "How about down to the beach? We seem to have a lot of luck out there. That's where you got the beginnings of *my* story, after all. And something tells me if they see us out there together, they won't come to investigate. Am I right?"

"Yeah, they won't. They're pretty good about that. Kevin should probably have a nap anyway, the geezer." Nick's smile felt forced, though, as he led the way down to the sand. "You're gonna laugh, when I tell you, it's such a little thing that people are getting worked up about," he warned, sinking to a seat on the beach and wrapping his arms around his knees.

"Probably not," said Justin, sitting down behind him and holding him the way Nick had been holding *Justin* the night before. "I probably won't laugh, about that kind of thing, no matter how minor. Any more than you laughed about *my* stuff, before, or about anything that's yet to come.

Nick sighed and tipped his head back to Justin's shoulder. "Okay. But I warned you. And I already told you most of it." He dug his feet down into the sand. "I have...when I told you, before, that I stopped eating for a while? I really did. For weeks at a time, when I was nineteen or so, and then when I was twenty two. In between I ate everything I could get my hands on, and threw up, sometimes. I never got sick, really, but the guys worried a lot. Mostly it happened when I was nervous. I saw a doctor for a while and got straightened out, and it hasn't happened again. So. It was a long time ago."

"So when you get nervous now, your eating gets messed up?" ventured Justin, which was *not* exactly what Nick had said. "Like right now, I guess. Are you really that nervous about all of this, about what's going on here with us? Or is it something else that's making it come back right now?"

"No, no, it's not really messed up right now," Nick said, needing Justin to believe him. "Nothing like it was, at all. I just wasn't hungry today, that happens to everyone, and then AJ and Kevin made it a big deal. I'm not so nervous about us, except wanting to be right for you. And, and not wanting you to worry about this. Or think about it, really, at all. It's nothing."

"Are you being honest with me?" asked Justin. "Really, seriously honest? Because I think I really need to know, Nick. It's okay if there's something going on right now. I'm not going to judge you or think less of you or anything. And I'm not going to treat you like AJ and Kevin do, as long as you're honest with me. As long as I know when something's going on, and know that I don't have to guess to figure it out."

Nick ducked his chin, debating furiously inside. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't want you to think about it. Not guessing or anything, or always watching when I'm eating, or checking up on my fridge, or what I order in restaurants..." He sighed. "I don't...maybe there is, a little. I don't know. I don't know why. I ate my pie."

"It was great pie," said Justin, giving him a little squeeze. " Great steak, too, no matter what AJ says. And I promise not to watch you like that, as long as you tell me what's going on. I know, I know, I haven't realliy known you long enough to ask that. I am anyway."

"Okay," Nick said tentatively, relaxing a little as Justin didn't berate him or go off on a spiel about proper eating habits. "I think I can do that. When I notice. Sometimes I'm just not hungry, though, and that's okay, it happens to everyone. But if something's going on, I'll tell you. I will."

"Oh, tell me about it," said Justin. "I've barely eaten in two weeks, Nick, I know all about losing your appetite sometimes. It doesn't have to be a big deal. If it's a pattern? Then it's a problem, that's all. I just want to know. Spent too much time lately not knowing what's going on with the people -- the person -- I was with."

"I wouldn't do that," Nick said earnestly, relaxing completely now, and pushing back a little to get deeper into Justin's arms. "Nothing that has to do to you, I'd never keep anything like that from you. Or problems. Those either. But you have to tell me, too, when there are things. That way, we'll both know."

"Oh *believe* me, I think there's a lot of telling in my future while I ... while I start to get over this. When reality sets in. I think your problem will be more to shut me than to get me talking," admitted Justin. "I hope it doesn't get to be too much for you. Just ... just remember that it'll just be me venting mostly. Even when I get upset -- and I will, I'm sure." Nick laughed a little. "Well, I've had lots of practice. With AJ and Kev, and myself, with the venting. Believe me, I'll remember, and you can talk all you want. Hopefully there'll be other happy things happening, though, to keep your mind off things, or at least be a little bit of a distraction."

"I'm sure there will be," said Justin, "but I'm not gonna count on being distracted for so long that suddenly I'm gonna wake up and everything's okay. Some stuff, you just have to ride it out. You have to deal with it. And I know I have to deal with this, sooner or later."

"Yeah. And sooner is probably better," Nick agreed, nodding and looking at the water. "That way, you don't give them any more of your life than they've already had. And you can move along to other things." He let his hand slip from Justin's knee to his bare calf, just holding lightly. "It hurts a little less every day," he offered.

"And I guess you'd know," said Justin, sighing softly. Nick could feel it on the back of his neck. "And I've been through breakups before, just nothing like this. It's never been like this before. I bet breaking up with Ste fucked you up something bad. I bet the serious ones always do."

"And I guess you'd know," said Justin, sighing softly. Nick could feel it on the back of his neck. "And I've been through breakups before, just nothing like this. It's never been like this before. I bet breaking up with Ste fucked you up something bad. I bet the serious ones always do."

"It did, for a while," Nick admitted, shivering at the feeling of Justin's breath. "But you know, he didn't love me right. He didn't treat me right. I loved him *so* much, and he walked all over me, and that was the bad thing, the thing that took time to get over. Not the leaving. The leaving was the best thing that could have happened. It freed me up to heal."

"I guess you really do know what this is like, for me," murmured Justin, bowing his head so his forehead rested against Nick's shoulder. "I loved her so much, Nick. I was so willing to forgive everything that was going on, even when I knew about it."

Nick let his hand run up and down Justin's leg, the only part of him he could reach. "It was wrong of her to take advantage of that," he said softly, holding Justin's other hand flat against his body. "It wasn't fair and it wasn't good, that she hurt you because you loved her. It makes her a not-good person, and I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm glad you're not with her. You're wonderful, and you deserve better than her." Better than Nick, too, but damned if he'd question this so soon.

"Yeah, I think I'm a pretty good person, too," he said, still pressed up against Nick's back. "A little stupid, maybe. A little guillible. A little lost. But good. Thanks, Nick. It helps, knowing you've got my back."

"You're not stupid, you were in love," Nick said simply, like that explained everything. "And at the moment, you kinda got my back." He tipped his head back again, smiling at the sky. "You ever need to talk about it, kick stuff, shout at something, I'm here, and believe me, I understand. Like I said, less painful day by day."

"Yeah, ditto," said Justin. "For whatever. I can't take take take from you and not offer the same back." He kissed Nick's shoulder and sighed again. "This feels a lot stranger, when I'm not drunk," he admitted. "But still good. It still feels good."

"I'm glad. That there's good in with the strange." Nick rubbed Justin's leg one more time, briskly casual, and pulled away, turning to smile at him. "We should go back, before the guys send out a search party. Plus, we've gotta find you something to wear. Might take a while. You think my kitchen was bad, you should see my closets."

"Yeah, ever since you vacated it, it's filled up with clothes, huh?" said Justin with a little smile. "I should make a couple calls before we go out, make sure people know I'm not dead." He took off his glasses and cleaned off the smudges he'd gotten from pressing up against Nick's neck and back. "Then tomorrow ... tomorrow I have to do things."

"Hah." Nick poked him gently. "Lotta space for clothes, after I left that closet. You can use my phone if you want." He stood and brushed sand off the seat of his jeans, stretching comfortably and basking a little in the sunlight. "Tomorrow you can do things. Tonight we have fun."

"I'll do my best," Justin promised him, extending a hand for Nick to help him up. "How long are your guys visiting for? They staying with you?"

"Nope. AJ's staying with Howie and Kevin's with family." Nick hauled him easily to his feet. "They'll be back tomorrow, though, or we'll be going to Howie's. He likes having us over, he still thinks he can civilize me and AJ. We don't tell him that it's hopeless, he's too sweet to disappoint like that."

"He is awfully sweet," agreed Justin, brushing himself off. "I always thought that, really. He just always came across that way. Tomorrow, that'll be a good time for me to do things, then, when you guys are over there. I guess I really do need to. Don't be surprised if I'm a wreck, the next time we talk after that."

"I can swing by and say hello, after, if you want," Nick suggested, not wanting to push. "I don't know what we'll be doing, but it won't be late, 'cause Kev's flying back out tomorrow night. I could see your place, and stuff. If you want."

"Sure," said Justin, nodding slightly. "Or just call, if you don't want to stop by and see the mess. I'll make sure you have my number and all. Well I'd be doing that anyway. But if you come by I can order pizza and make you help me unpack boxes."

Nick grinned a little. "You've seen my organizational skills in action, are you sure you want me rummaging in your shit? Oh, man, that reminds me. What *were* you doing when Howie found you roaming around my house?" He took Justin's hand in his, twining their fingers, tugging a little to get him moving back towards the back door.

"Oh," Justin laughed, letting himself be tugged to Nick's side. "Nothing, really. Nothing like what I was suggesting. I may have snooped in the medicine cabinet a little, but only because I was in the bathroom already. Nothing scandalous, unfortunately. Only one bottle of mysterious antibiotics. No back hair cream."

"I don't have back hair!" Nick protested indignantly, then laughed a little. "Um, but you know that already. My life is very boring and unscandalous, I'm afraid. You won't find anything too horrible, I hope, if you ever do go snooping. Am I gonna find fun stuff in your boxes? Sex toys and dirty books and incriminating photos?"

"Dirty books, yes," said Justin. "The rest? No, I don't think so. I always kinda went out of my way to not let incriminating photos be taken. And Alicia threw away my blow-up doll. Will I find sex toys if I search *your* place well enough? Dirty book? Incriminating photos? Old love letters?"

Nick grinned at Justin sideways. "Maaaybe," he teased. "I'll never tell." He paused by the deserted picnic table, looking around for signs of the others. "Did you really have a blow-up doll? AJ got me one of those sheep one time, but it was a joke. It's way too nice for them to all be inside like vampires. I hope they aren't watching tv and being boring."

"They're probably talking," said Justin. "And same deal. With my blow-up doll, I mean -- it was a present from JC. A joke. Joey always bugged him about having tested it out before giving it to me and I was never quite sure if he was kidding about that or not."

"Oh, gross," Nick laughed. "Used sex toys! What a nasty thought. I'm sure he didn't, JC's so clean about everything. Joey's a dirty boy." He pushed through the door. "I bet they're looking at pictures of Brian's baby. Again. Or possibly gossiping about me. Again. Either way, I hope they remembered to take their shoes off before putting their feet on the furniture. My cleaning lady would have fits."

"Your cleaning lady sounds very high-strung," teased Justin. "She needs to chill out a little. We should have left some of the beer for her, I think."

"Dude. You saw this place before she hit it." Nick grinned back over his shoulder. "You'd be high strung too. She gets it shiny, she gives me shit, everyone's happy. Now, c'mon. Make googly eyes over another infant, and then we'll go clubbing. We'll show you a good time, you can dance all your troubles away."

"I'll do my best," said Justin, and Nick could see the sadness in his eyes, but it wasn't the *only* thing there, now, which was a very good sign. "That's all I can promise."

"That's good enough for me." Nick reached for his hand again, thrilled to the toes that it was something he was allowed to do, and tugged Justin up against his side. "Just think. Hoppin' music, gorgeous people, good drinks and decent company. It's just what the doctor ordered."

"Doctor Nick," said Justin with a grin. "Yeah. No. It'll be fun. We'll have a good time." And with that assurance, he followed Nick inside.

* * *

There was a girl on one side of Nick and a boy on the other and they were both dancing with him, hands free on his body and a leg, he wasn't sure whose, between his own. He tossed his head back and laughed. It just figured; weeks and weeks when he couldn't get laid, and now that he'd kind of found someone, he couldn't pry them off with a crowbar. Not that he wanted to. Howie's DJ was hotter than hot, tonight.

He kept losing sight of Justin, who true to his word was giving it his best shot. He didn't exactly look like he was having the time of his life, but he wasn't even close to being miserable either. And it might do some good for him to be seen here, maybe make a gossip column or two. Show that bitch Alicia that he was doing just fine without her.

Nick caught sight of him again just as he was leaving the dancefloor for the first time since he'd gotten out there, heading for the bar.

He wiggled out from between his two admirers, giving them the friendly-but-not-TOO-friendly grin that he'd perfected over the years, and followed. By the time he'd pushed through the crowd, Justin was already leaning over the bar, ordering something that Nick couldn't hear over the music. He shooed a short boy with predatory eyes away, and bumped Justin with a hip.

"Hey, you." Off the dancefloor, it wasn't so loud. "Having fun?"

"Not as much as *you* are," he said, but he was smiling as he accepted his drink. "But you were right, this is good. Can I buy you a drink or anything? You look like you could use some refreshment."

Nick laughed and wiped his brow. "Yeah, it was definitely getting hot out there. Sure, yes. Jack and Coke, if you please, no ice. I'm glad you're doing good." He leaned an elbow on the bar, scanning the crowd. "You seen the others? Kev and Howie are probably shmoozing, but I was sure AJ'd be out there burning up the floor."

Justin was silent until he got Nick's drink and handed it over. "I saw Howie a little while ago, maybe twenty minutes or so. He looked like he was talking business with someone. AJ? No ... no, I don't think so. He's a short fucker, though. Easy to lose."

"Yeah. He's probably in the lounge with some pretty young thing anyway." Nick's voice came out a little wistful, but all the dancing had left him itchy and hot and unsatisfied. "He'll be back out there shortly, he can't resist good dancing music." He took a long swallow of his drink. "Speaking of, you're causing quite a little commotion out there. Good to see you haven't lost those famous moves." He grinned at Justin over his glass.

Justin gave him another grin in return, a little lopsided, a little wry. "I just haven't had time to get rusty yet," he said. "And besides ... these hips are famous for a reason." He hadn't shown any inclination toward any one person so far, that Nick had noticed, though. And deep down,he'd figured that Justin would, despite what he said.

"They sure as hell are," Nick agreed, admiring the way they looked in his old leather pants. "The ladies are sure likin' 'em, tonight. You're a very popular man, Timberlake." He finished his drink in one long pull, realizing how dry his was, and that he must have been sweating more than he realized. Great; sweaty and gross, and Justin was standing there looking like a wet dream. "See anything you like?" He tried to make it sound casual.

"Oh yeah," said Justin, finishing off his own drink and running his fingers through his curls carefully. "Yeah, I think so. You?"

"*Oh* yeah," Nick breathed, watching Justin's fingers and wishing they were his own. He shook himself, and grinned again, determined to be cheerful, even though Justin had found someone already. Well, two could play that game. "So, point her out to me, man. Me, I've got a certain disco hottie in mind. God bless glitter." He put down his glass, and gestured to the bartender for another.

"Oh," said Justin, his hand falling as he stared at Nick for a moment. He smile slowly faded as well. "Oh, okay. Well, who is it, then? I've got to admit, I haven't really been looking too hard at the possibilties out there tonight. I've just been having fun."

Nick frowned at him a little. "You just said you'd seen something you liked. Don't be coy, man. I knew you'd find some lovely lady tonight, the way you look right now. We agreed, man, remember?" And he was resolved to go find the hottest guy out there, and dance like he'd never danced before. Show Justin how hot two guys together could *really* be.

"I was talking about you," he said, almost too softly to hear, then quickly looked away and ordered himself another drink. "Sorry. I guess nothing else is really touching me right now. Maybe I'm not ready yet."

"Oh." Nick suddenly felt like the biggest idiot ever born. "Ohhhhh. Hey, man." He reached out and laid his hand on Justin's forearm, trying to get his attention back. "I totally invented the disco guy. I mean, he's here, but I haven't had my eye on him or anything. Just you."

"You don't have to say that," said Justin, giving him an obviously forced smile. "It's totally cool. I mean ... you have needs and shit, and there are a lot of fucking hot guys here. And that's what we were going out for, finally. I'm not gonna keep you from doing that."

Nick drew back, stung. "There *are* a lot of fucking hot guys here," he agreed. "If my attention's so unpleasant to you, I guess me and my *needs* are gonna just head back out to the dance floor." He gulped his drink before turning to leave, though. He hated carrying a glass through a crowd.

"Look," said Justin, "I'm just saying ... I know you're all worried about me, but you don't have to make stuff up just to make me feel better. I told you we're gonna take this slow and I'm okay if .. if that means you, um, want to find something else, in the meantime. I think maybe I just don't want to, myself."

"I wasn't making stuff up," Nick protested, caught before he could leave. "You're...you're a fucking fantasy come true, over there, the way you look, the way you're dancing. You're the hottest thing in here, and I *want* you, okay? And I can't dance with you, or I'll do things that you're not ready for, I bet, but I'm not interested in finding someone else. *You're* the one that wanted a rebound fuck. Remember? Two weeks? Your natural limit before implosion?"

"Yeah, and I told you I changed my mind," Just reminded him. Though Nick wasn't convinced he wouldn't change it right back again, when the need struck. "I'm still rebounding, yeah, but that doesn't mean I need to fuck. It just means that I gotta be careful about all my ... relationships. Friendships. Whateverships. Right now. And jerk off a lot, too."

"Jerking off only gets you so far," Nick said, a little sullen that Justin hadn't agreed to dance with him anyway. He wanted to dance with Justin, wanted to grab him close and grind against his body and feel those hips do their work, even with clothes between them...he only realized he'd been mumbling that aloud when he raised his drink to his mouth. "Anyway, we're doing whatever works, right? Whatever works for us." He glanced at Justin's eyes again.

"I'm hoping it'll get me to the point where I feel comfortable sleeping with you and am not worried about fucking it up," said Justin bluntly, draining his second drink just as quickly as the first. "After tonight? Watching you dance? I'm definitely gonna have to jerk off."

Nick reeled a little at that image, Justin touching himself and thinking about Nick, then shook his head again. "Dude, you can't *say* shit like that and just stand there, looking all delicious..." He stepped back, to prevent him from grabbing Justin right there, probably scaring him off permanently. "I'm gonna..." he gestured back at the dance floor with a slightly unsteady hand. Drinking on an empty stomach was always fun. "You gonna too?"

"Yeah," said Justin, immedately at his side, his body pressed up against Nick's. "Come on, let's show these people how to dance, Nicky. You up for it?"

"Fuck," Nick breathed, his hand curling around instinctively to touch Justin's back. "What a wonderful choice of words. Yeah, J, I'm definitely 'up' for it." He pulled Justin towards the dance floor, desperate to get lost in the crowd so he could dance like he wanted to. "Warning you," he said, close to Justin's ear. "I...yeah. Really wanna dance with you. Really."

"I don't need to be warned," said Justin, still pressed up close, never leaving his side. "I really want to dance with you, too. It feels good. It feels right, to be with you. That's something I really grab hold of these days -- things that feel right."

"Yeah. Feels right." Nick found a less-crowded place on the floor, and turned to Justin, grabbing those slim hips between his hands. "C'mere. Dance with me." The beat was fast and deep and loud, and he pulled Justin so close there wasn't an inch between them. His breath caught at the feeling, but he was already moving, dancing like he hadn't been able to, before.

Justin was grinding back against him without hesitation, which Nick hadn't quite been expecting. For someone who hadn't been with guys before, at all, Justin was taking to it pretty damn readily. And in public, too. Nick remembered the gossip columns he'd been anticipating before, and though it might be a bit of a rude awakening for Alicia to find a picture of Justin grinding up against a guy in her morning tabloid. He kind of liked that thought, against his better judgment.

He moved his hands, throwing his arms over Justin's shoulders so their hips could lock together like pieces of a puzzle, moving in perfect unison. He tipped his head forward, by Justin's, eyes half closed and almost lost in the feeling. "You're so fucking beautiful," he said into Justin's ear, not really caring if he heard, needing to say it anyway.

Justin clutched him back, harder, and Nick could even hear him breathing over the heavy bass of the music. "I like this," he said, or Nick thought he said. It was so faint that a few moments later he thought it might just have been his imagination. Except Justin *did* seem to be liking it. A lot.

There was evidence between them, and Nick shivered at the realization that this was proof, Justin wanted him too, even if he didn't want to do anything about it yet. He twisted against Justin, purring a little against his neck, letting his fingers toy with those curls the way they'd wanted to since he'd seen Justin at the bar. There were moving bodies around them, bumping them lightly once in a while, but he was completely focused on Justin.

Justin didn't seem to be paying them any more notice than Nick was, he was just concentrating on the beat of the music and on Nick and on the way they were moving together. And he was smiling, smiling like he'd forgotten all of the sadness he'd been feeling lately. Like a big burden had been taken off him. Nick wanted to see him smiling like that always.

"You look good," he said, loud enough to be heard. "You dance *so* good. I wanna..." He pushed Justin away, long enough to slot a thigh in between Justin's, not caring how it looked, just wanting more, more, more. His fingers teased the waistband of the leather pants, stroking in time with the beat, and he tugged a little, bringing himself back in. "Justin..." He wasn't getting enough air.

And still, Justin didn't back away, didn't even hesitate. He gave as good as he got, reaching out and running a hand down Nick's throat, then moving his head close enough that he could have followed the same path with his tongue, if he dared. "You're so hot," he murmured, and Nick was *sure* he heard it that time, that it wasn't just a figment of his imagination.

He laughed, a little desperate, and put his head down on Justin's shoulder and just danced. His hands were still moving, sliding over Justin's waist and hips and for one brief heart-stopping moment, cupping his ass gently. "You're the hot one," he replied finally and with complete honesty, even though he could feel himself getting slick and shiny with sweat.

Justin murmured something else but Nick couldn't make it out over the music, had no idea if it was a "stop" or a "more" or a "no *you're* hot". He could only go on what Justin was *doing*, which was nibbling at his neck and clutching at his back and grinding in time to the music. They'd acquired a clear circle of space around them, no more press of bodies, which usually meant that people were watching. But still Justin didn't look up.

Nick had never minded putting on a show, and his head was spinning with alcohol and heat and lust, but the hand smacking his ass brought him back to reality with a crash. He started away from Justin, tried to make it look like it was just part of the dance, and sent AJ a half-resentful, half-grateful look. He was panting hard.

"Clean it up, boys, this ain't the place," AJ yelled over the music, gesturing subtly to the ring of fascinated faces around them.

Justin rolled his eyes and tried to pull Nick back, then an unreadable look crossed his face and he seemed to really grasp where he was and what he was doing and who he was doing it with. "I. Um. Need Another drink," he said, looking back over his shoulder at the bar. "You? Nick? Need another drink?"

"No, no, stay, dance with me and AJ," Nick said, reaching for him again, but not coming so close. "If you act like it's a big deal that they're watching, it *will* be a big deal," he murmured, when he was close enough, then spun Justin off into an extravagant twirl, laughing at the look of surprise on his face. AJ rolled his eyes at them both, and started dancing at Nick's side.

"It's not a big deal," murmured Justin. "I just really do need a drink. A strong one." He didn't leave, though, not while Nick and AJ were dancing with him. But his dancing got just a little more stiff -- not enough for the onlookers to notice, just enough for Nick to know the difference.

Nick looked at him a little sadly, then released him, after the song changed again, and the crowd turned back into a dancefloor. AJ had quite a little audience, he'd always been able to dance like his bones were liquid, and he was revelling in the attention. The thought of another strong drink suddenly appealed, and he nodded at Justin, standing still and wiping at his face with the tail of his shirt. "Let's go," he said, loudly enough to be heard.

Justin nodded at him for a second, and Nick could see him clenching his fists. Then his arm jerked out and reached for Nick's, like he wasn't letting himself back down from doing it. "It's hot in here," he said conversationally as they left the dance floor.

"Very," Nick agreed casually, dragging his free arm across his forehead, trying to make himself as presentable as possible, though he could feel sweat sliding down the back of his neck from his wet hair. "Don't...you don't have to," he added, gently tugging at his wrist, secure in Justin's hand. "You don't gotta prove anything, here, man."

"I'm proving something to my*self*," said Justin, just barely loud enough to be heard. "Not to anyone else. So let me, okay? Now ... what do you want to drink?"

"Jack and Coke," Nick said, letting Justin's hand stay. Watching AJ dance had made him nostalgic for the old days, and he made a mental note to go back and dance with him before he disappeared with some pretty young thing. "Nice and strong, not too much ice." He was just tipsy enough to feel reckless about it, about everything, and he swayed closer to Justin as they got to the bar. "Fucking hot, Timberlake, out there. Burned me up."

"Yeah," said Justin, sounding breathless for just a moment. "Yeah, it was hot. I knew it would be hot." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than answer Nick. "Would it be rude to leave soon, you think?"

"Noooo..." Nick looked at him curiously. "I don't think so, not if we tell the guys. Why? You got somewhere you gotta be?" He pressed up against Justin's back as he turned to the bar. "You don't wanna dance with me more? Make me go up in flames *all* the way?"

"If I'm going to make you go up in flames all the way," said Justin, getting his own drink and hanging Nick his, "I'd rather it be somewhere we can do something about it. Yeah?" He drained half his drink in one gulp and wiped his mouth clumsily, not quite meeting Nick's eyes.

"We'll see," Nick murmured, feeling uneasy about the whole thing. "Okay?" His body was screaming for sex, but Justin's body language was telling him to pull back a little. "Like I said, you don't gotta prove anything. Let's just do what seems like fun. Dancing's fun. Touching you even just a little, that's fun too. Don't do anything you're not ready for." Draining his drink in one hand, he palmed Justin's belly with the other, feeling damp heat and muscle through the thin shirt.

"I was," said Justin, his own drink gone just as quickly. "I was having fun, dancing with you. But we were crossing a line there, I think. A line I'm not sure I'm ready to cross in public so much ... but maybe in private I am."

Nick tipped his chin in acknowledgement, but didn't let himself hope, much. The heat of the moment had been pretty hot, after all, and grinding on a dance floor was a lot different from actual naked touching. "We were crossing a line, a little. I, ah...I get carried away, with you." He shrugged helplessly. "AJ's there, now. He won't let us do it again." Of course, AJ might actually hump them himself, but at least that way Nick could get some contact. "If you really wanna go, though, that's cool. I just wanna spend time with you." He scratched Justin's belly lightly.

"I could wait a little," said Justin slowly, reaching out to touch Nick in return, run his fingers over Nick's stomach and then down his arm. It was as intimate as anything they'd done on the dance floor. "I could dance some more, with you. If you wanted."

Nick stepped closer, breathing carefully to clear his head, until he was so close they were sharing breath, their noses almost touching. His hand was at an awkward angle between them, but he didn't want to move it. Didn't care about the audience they probably had, not even for Justin's sake. Justin's eyes were all he could see. "I want you. However I can get you," he said, feeling the truth of what he was saying burn his throat. "Dancing, whatever you want."

"I'm half a second away from kissing you," whispered Justin. "Either do it, or drag me onto the dancefloor. However you want *me*." And true to his word, he waited.

"We can't," Nick almost whimpered, pulling away and grabbing Justin's hand. "Not here, not so soon. Come on and dance." The liquor and lust were making his stomach hurt, but he knew dancing would fix that, and he had to get them back out there before he just tumbled Justin down to the ground. "God, when I get you back to my place," he promised vaguely, dragging Justin back to AJ's side.

"You better," said Justin, just in time for AJ to catch it and raise a curious eyebrow at them. Justin looked away from him and met Nick's eyes again, then they were touching and moving and it was like they'd never left.

"Jesus Christ," AJ said, loud enough for Nick to hear, but he didn't care enough to stop, not when Justin was looking at him like that and dancing with him like that. "Well, if we're gonna put on a show..." Nick glanced sideways long enough to see AJ yank a slim boy with red hair into his personal space, tipping his head back and dancing with as much abandon as Nick had ever seen.

Nick laughed in delight and pulled Justin even closer, holding the tops of the backs of his thighs, twisting down and up his body.

Justin looked wide-eyed and nervous, but not to the point where it affected how he was moving, and so definitely not to the point where he clearly didn't want this. As a matter of fact, he pretty clearly *did*, and by this point that was all the encouragement that Nick needed.

Nick just kept grinning at him, willing Justin to give in to the music and the dancing and him and just have fun. "C'mon, J, grab me back. I'm all yours, baby, and nobody's looking, AJ's got the audience now. You can do whatever you want."

"I am," murmured Justin, and slowly but surely his hands *were* tracing Nick's body, top to bottom and back again. "And he hasn't got *all* the audience." But what audience they did have left, Justin didn't seem to actually be worried about. Not with *that* look in his eyes when he looked at Nick.

Nick licked his lips slowly, wiggling closer until they were nose-to-nose again. He loved this view of Justin, those amazing eyes with the amazing eyelashes, still looking a bit startled, but warming to him. "I'm-oooh," his pelvis bumped Justin's hip, and he lost his breath. "My knees are shaking," he confessed finally, hoping it explained why he finally closed the gap, pressing himself from chest to thigh against Justin's body, dancing like they were one person instead of two.

"I couldn't tell," said Justin, his lips dangerously close to Nick's again. It couldn't be helped now, not in the crush of the dancefloor, not unless Nick wanted to move away again. Which he didn't. "You're so good."

He shook his head just a fraction, slipped his hands into Justin's back pockets, and snugged his hips even closer, before tipping that fraction of an inch and kissing him. They never stopped dancing, but Nick had no idea what the song was, what moves they were doing, all he knew was that Justin's tongue was eager against his own, and Justin's cock was hard against his thigh, and Nick couldn't tell which way was up, any more.

Justin was breathless when he finally pulled away, fitting his head into the crook of Nick's neck for a moment and just breathing on him. "Now," he said finally as they continued to grind together, not relaxing one bit. "Now maybe it's time to go." Then his lips were against Nick's again and they weren't going anywhere.

Justin's hips were making love to his, and Nick's hands trailed up his back into his hair, holding Justin's mouth against his own. "Yeah," he said into the kiss. "Should go soon. Want...want to..." his voice left him when he felt Justin's fingers slip down his hip, and he strained against Justin's body.

"Be careful." The voice broke through, and Nick's quick look showed Kevin dancing with AJ now, and watching in what looked like sheer disbelief. AJ was smirking. "Poppa's watching you."

Justin ducked his head again and bit lightly at Nick's earlobe. "We need to go," he murmured, and this time it sounded more urgent. It sounded for real. "And I swear, Nick, I'm not leading you on here. We need to get somewhere alone."

"Home," Nick decided. "Only place." He waved at Kevin, blew a kiss at AJ who mockingly caught it, and started for the door at the fastest walk he could manage in the crowd, towing Justin behind him. He really wasn't sure he'd make it home, and wasn't sure how they'd get there anyway. He was in no state to drive. "Taxi!" The second he made it through the door he was shouting. His whole body felt like it was on fire.

Justin stumbled behind him as he tried to keep up, but soon was right by his side. It wasn't hard to catch a taxi outside a club in the evening and they were quickly on their way back. Justin's hands were in his lap and his breathing was heavy and he looked like he was trying desperately not to do anything until they got back to Nick's place.

Nick was pressed into the corner of the seat, watching Justin and panting and sitting on his own hands. The cab wasn't anywhere he wanted to do something for the first time with Justin, and if he started touching him now, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop. "I..." He searched for something to say, just to break the breathless silence. "Jesus, Justin, you broke me," he finally confessed. "I can't even think right now."

Justin nodded and licked his lips a couple times before *he* managed to say anything. "I need this right now, Nick," he said finally. "I'm sorry I couldn't wait."

Nick laughed, a short sharp sound. "Don't apologize! I'm the one, I should be on my knees to you, pushing you this hard." He stared at Justin's lap. "Maybe I will be, later..." The cab lurched around a corner, the last one before Nick's house, and he leaned forward expectantly.

"Now there's an image I'm not likely to forget soon," said Justin, licking his lips again and practically *shaking* but still trying to be good. "I haven't been this turned on in a long time. You have no idea."

They were almost home, Nick dared to reach out and run his palm up Justin's thigh, sucking in a gasp as Justin arched at just that small touch. "We're almost there," he muttered, tracing Justin's hipbone helplessly. "Almost there. A minute, maybe. Maybe less."

"I think I can last at least a minute," said Justin with a short, sharp laugh, but he almost looked like he wasn't sure that was true. "This is ... very fast. We need to be inside and upstairs."

Nick nodded, and when the cab braked to a halt, he threw a handful of bills over the divider and bolted for the door, Justin right behind him. He'd never disabled the security system so fast, but the cool silence of the hall slowed him down, and he paused, shaking his head, trying to get his brain to work again. "J." He couldn't look at him. "You sure?" It was his last chivalrous bone, and Justin's last chance.

"I know what I'm doing," he said, which he *didn't*, really, but it was pretty obvious he knew that he wanted to be, still. Then he wrapped himself around Nick right there in the hallway where they were standing and started kissing him again.

"Fuck." Nick pushed him back against the wall, finally finding something to brace them against, and tried to crawl into Justin's skin. He couldn't keep track of what he was touching, only that it all felt good, and if they weren't careful, they'd never get out of the hall at all. He bunched the hem of Justin's shirt in his fists, pushing it up and rubbing Justin's sides with his knuckles in time with the movement of his hips.

Justin let go of him and started tugging his own shirt off, letting Nick closer and closer to his bare body. If Nick didn't stop him now, they *weren't* going to make it anywhere else, and that was fact.

"Walk," he ordered, voice muffled by Justin's kiss. "Upstairs, bedroom, out of the hallway. Hallway makes rugburn. C'mon." He stepped back, bringing Justin with him, stumbling backwards towards the stairs, dipping his head to nip at the long curve of Justin's throat.

Justin seemed to get ahold of himself when Nick said that, shaking his head a little and following him purposefully up the stairs -- slowly, as Nick went backwards and tried to consume Justin's neck as they went -- and into the bedroom. "Okay," he said as they stood there for a moment. "I'm sure, Nick."

"Me too," Nick mumbled into his shoulder. "Oh, god, me too. Thank god you're sure, I'm dying..." He moved back long enough to pull Justin's shirt over his head, throwing it carelessly away and running his greedy hands down Justin's body, slippery with sweat and trembling a little. He tasted salt on Justin's collarbone.

"You should probably tell me what to do," he murmured, but Nick wasn't at all sure he was going to need to do that. Justin was already touching him with no hint of nervousness, let alone reluctance, tracing his shoulders and tangling his fingers in Nick's hair.

"How about you just do what you want and I promise to love every minute of it?" Nick suggested, ducking down even further to lap at a nipple. It tickled his tongue, firm and sweet, and he barely noticed the burn in his thighs from his semi-crouch. He hung his fingers in Justin's waistband to balance himself.

"I want to take your clothes off," said Justin, very surely, and started tugging on Nick's shirt. "That's want I want to do first. I want to be naked with you and once we do that ... well, I'm thinking I can figure the rest out if I try hard enough."

"It's easy," Nick assured him breathlessly. "Not gonna last too long anyway, I don't think." He raised his hands over his head, the alcohol blurring any selfconsciousness he was feeling, and once it was gone, dropped his fingers to Justin's waistband again, only this time with intent. He glanced up for permission, though, before undoing the buttons.

Justin nodded his head and licked his lips yet again and Nick wanted to feel that tongue *other* places, not just see it. "I'm good," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'm still good."

"Good," Nick muttered distractedly, focused completely on Justin's pants and what was in them. He undid buttons with fumbling fingers, pushing the flaps aside and sliding to his knees as he reached in with a careful hand. "Wanna taste," he informed Justin without looking up. His fingers touched hot damp velvet skin.

Justin hissed sharply but he didn't jerk away. He just froze, right where he was. "You ... do that," he forced out finally, relaxing the tiniest bit. "Yeah. Okay."

Nick grinned a little, sending stern waiting thoughts down to his own cock, and curling his fingers around Justin's, drawing him out before he let go to push those borrowed leather pants down to Justin's knees. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this was too much too fast, and that this had better be his best performance ever if he ever wanted a repeat. "Just back up a little..." He pushed gently until Justin backed up against the door, then ducked down and licked gently, just the tip. It was too tempting to resist.

He felt Justin jerk and shudder beneath his hands, felt Justin clutch a fistful of his hair. He didn't say anything at all, just stood there and let Nick do what he was doing. He wasn't silent though; every time Nick touched him he let out soft sounds, moans or whimpers or something in between.

Nick kept licking, like Justin's cock was a lollipop or an ice cream cone or any other...very lickable thing. He dug his thumbs into the crease of Justin's thigh, pushing his legs a little further apart, bringing him closer. "Brace yourself," he whispered, before lowering his mouth and letting Justin slide past his lips and teeth, over his waiting tongue.

Justin didn't seem braced at all; he was shaking even more now, and Nick had to actively hold him up. "Oh," he breathed, his voice soft and sweet and awed. "Oh ... "

Nick didn't even have time to smile, arms tense and trembling a little with Justin's weight, all his focus on his full mouth and his tongue. Justin was burning-hot in his mouth and so hard Nick wasn't sure how he was holding on, and he held his breath and dove in, until his nose was being tickled with curly hair and Justin was blunt against the back of his throat.

"Nick, Nick," said Justin desperately, clutching at his hair again and tugging. "Nick, I can't ... you gotta stop, Nick. I'm gonna ... "

Nick growled, resisting the pull of Justin's hands, and clamped down harder, sucking as hard as he could. He wondered vaguely if he could make Justin pass out, but he was too busy to think about it much, and then he was busier as Justin came, moaning his name and clutching his hair and shoulders, shuddering under Nick's hands. When his knees buckled, Nick caught him, sliding them both down to the floor, nuzzling happily against Justin's belly.

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