Justin shifted his books -- his algebra II one, which he hated and doodled in whenever he could, and his biology one, which was his class right after -- in his arms, trying his best to look casual as he slouched outside of a classroom nowhere near any of his, and nowhere near his locker. It was the second of four times during his day he got to catch a glimpse of Joey Fatone without being obvious. He hoped.

Right on cue, Joey turned the corner, talking to one of his friends and laughing and completely oblivious to Justin's presence. As always. As Justin both hoped for and dreaded.

"And so then his sister," Joey was saying, " -- you know, the blonde one? -- opened the basement door and yelled down and he musta jumped, like, ten feet in the air." The other boy laughed and then, out of the blue, met Justin's eyes for just a second before he looked away again.

Justin stood frozen, stuck to the wall between the row of lockers and the water fountain. He would have closed his eyes and wished them to get past him before Joey's friend looked again, except he never could not look during one of his four times. It was his treat to himself every day he made it on time to English class.

"Yeah?" the guy -- Justin was still too new to have figured out his name, yet -- prompted. "No injuries, though, I assume?"

"Nah," said Joey breezily. "Well, except I think he stubbed his toe on the way back down. But no injuries to *me*, which is the important thing. Hang on a sec -- " He held up a hand to the other boy and bent over to pick something up off the floor, then turned around and suddenly was looking right at Justin. "Is this yours?" he asked, half holding the paper out ot him and half reading it.

Justin felt his mouth working and no sound coming out before he shook his head. He wasn't this retarded when he was a freshman at his new school *last* year, and he sure as hell didn't want to make that impression here. Especially since his mom always said you only make a first impression once.

He met Joey's eyes -- brown, he KNEW they'd be brown -- and gave him a cocky smile. "Is my name on it?" he asked, knowing Joey didn't know his name, and hoping it would prompt him to ask.

Joey looked at the page again and shook his head. "There's no name on it," he said finally. "You should look. Here." He held out the paper again, encouraging Justin to take it. "Just in case. It doesn't look like the kind of thing someone would want to lose."

"Hurry up, Joe, we're gonna be late."

Justin shot the other kid a look before he could help it, then tried to take the paper in a way that had his thumb brushing over Joey's. It wasn't his; it was some love letter from some girl, adressed to "Pookie" of all things. "It's not mine," he said, trying to hand it back.

Joey took it, then let it fall to the floor again and grinned at Justin. "You didn't seem like the pookie type, anyway," he said, taking a step backward toward his friend. "I'll see you around ... what was your name again?"

"Justin," he said quickly, stepping away from the wall finally. "I'm kind of new. It's nice to meet you, um ... ?" He smiled again; less cocky, more innocent, and thought maybe it would help mask the fact that he was close to following them down the hall.

"Joey," he said with another grin as his friend tugged on his sleeve and muttered something at him that Justin couldn't hear. He looked amused, not annoyed, though. "And I think I'm about to be late for class. See you around, Justin!"

"Bye," Justin waved, pretending to change direction but really just slowing down until they rounded the corner so he could slump against the wall and catch his breath. He hadn't meant that to happen so soon, and he'd have to be more subtle this afternoon when he'd see Joey after gym, but ... he'd talked to him. And hadn't embarrassed himself too much. And Joey was *nice*.

He drifted lightheaded down the hall to his own class, stupid algebra, and slid in next to one of the people he *had* met already.

"Hey, did you finish your homework?" he asked from where he was slouched down in his seat and trying to look inconspicious. Which was hard, for a guy like him. "You think I could borrow it?"

"Nick," Justin laughed. "You're better off writing down random numbers and you know it. How come I can't make friends with guys that are actually *good* at math."

"Shit," Nick muttered under his breath, opening his textbook in front of him but not paying any attention to it. "I dunno man. Because the guys that are good at math are boring, maybe?" He pointed out the blond, funny-looking kid in the front row as an example. "As long as I don't get called on, I'm fine. So where were you, anyway? You're always late, just about."

Justin just shrugged and smiled. Maybe he'd tell Nick about Joey ... maybe he'd *ask* Nick about Joey ... but it was still too soon. He was definitely still testing the waters at this school. Florida wasn't Tennessee, but that still didn't mean everyone was open-minded about stuff. "I was told I didn't seem like a Pookie," he said, enjoying the confused look on Nick's face.

"Um ... good?" he offered, then gave Justin a sly grin. "You sure I can't borrow your homework anyway, Pookie? Better that than nothing. At least you have the work to show where you *got* your random numbers."

"Call me that again and I'll kick your ass, Nick," Justin said, but he did slide the torn-out piece of notebook paper over to him. "Dude, but you owe me. Seriously. Start coming up with good ways to make it up to me."

"You tell me what a good way to make it up to you is, and I will," promised Nick, the kind of promise that's easily made when someone needs something and the compensation doesn't have to be immediate. "I can hook you up with just about anything."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Okay. Find me a date for the homecoming dance thing? I figure I should go, right? just to meet people."

Nick actually looked up at him and his eyes widened a little. "Yeah, everyone goes," he said finally. "Even people who hate that shit. You're actually having trouble finding a date? I figured a guy like you ... had to have a half dozen girls flocking around you before you even *met* me. I though you were kidding, about the not knowing anyone."

"I wasn't kidding," Justin said, shrugging. No point in being embarrassed about it. He'd moved enough to know that making friends right away was the easiest and dumbest way to get stereotyped. "And ... I just want to go with someone cool. A friend of yours, maybe?" The girls he'd met -- and there'd been more like a dozen, not a half-dozen -- decidedly weren't.

"Well, sure," said Nick with a little shrug. "I can hook you up with someone, or you can just come with me and my friends, in our group. Dates are sometimes just a technicality, anyway. Have you met Mandy yet? I think you'd like her."

"Mandy," Justin repeated, thinking. "Um. I don't know? describe her." If people actually went in groups, though ... he'd do that. It was easiest. Being able to dance with a lot of girls was always a good thing in his book: the more girls he spent time with, the fewer he had to do more with. Which was getting that much harder as he got older and figured out exactly what he wanted.

"She's tall, brunette, really pretty," said Nick, keeping his voice low. "Come to think of it, why aren't *I* taking her?" He turned the page in his book so it looked like he was doing something, then looked back at Justin again. "I can introduce you to her, if you want."

Brunette; brunette was good. "That'd be cool," he said. "You have a class with her, or something? She doesn't have a boyfriend or anything, right?" That was just another thing he didn't want to bother with.

"No, no boyfriend," said Nick with a chuckle loud enough to get him a couple of looks. He lowered his voice again. "When she was a freshman, she was already taller than most of the guys in her class, right? And there was this ... incident, on the first day of school. Remind me to tell you about it later. Anyway, yeah, most guys are scared shitless to ask her out, now. But she's really cool. I've known her since we were, like, seven."

That sounded *perfect*, and Justin threw Nick a huge grin. "Hey, cool. Just ... find me after school, maybe? I was thinking of shooting some hoops in the gym." After he snuck in to see part of Joey's rehearsal, the last time during the day he got to see him. He let his mind wander about who *he'd* be taking. If he even went. Except that even as a senior Joey seemed to be involved in everything.

"Isn't there some practice in the gym today?" said Nick, frowning a little in that mild look of concentration that Justin was learning to recognize. "Oh well, I can remember. Sure, I can meet you after, I'm not doing anything 'cept maybe hanging out with the guys."

"Well, whatever," Justin said, as the teacher walked in and he settled back in his chair. "If you can find her, too, I guess. And just as a friends thing, okay? Got it?"

"Right, just as friends," said Nick, giving him a grin. "To start, anyway. Isn't that how all good things start?"

And would end, in this case, but Justin didn't need to tell Nick that yet. He tried to pay attention to the teacher, chewed on his pen, and planned what he might do if Joey noticed him again.

* * *

Justin was waiting just inside the door of the gym when Nick showed up with a couple friends in tow. "Hey, there you are," Nick said, sounding a bit breathless. "Sorry man, I totally forgot where we were gonna meet."

"We've been running all *over*," said the girl who was with him, smacking Nick on the back of the head. "Loser."

"S'okay," Justin said, unfolding his legs and getting to his feet slowly, gesturing at the court. "You were right; cheerleading practice. Sucks. I can't wait until Mom finds out if we're allowed to put up a hoop on the garage at home." He smiled warmly at the girl. "Hey, I'm Justin."

"Hi," she said, giving him a shy but equally warm smile. "I'm Mandy. Nick's been telling me about you. Did you really get kicked out of class once for asking the teacher if his shirt was intentional or just a part of the science experiment?"

Justin rolled his eyes at Nick. "Yes," he said, "but it was like a week before I was leaving that school and moving to another one, so it didn't matter. I would never do something like that when it mattered." She really *was* pretty; Justin wasn't *so* far removed from noticing girls to see that. "I hope he said some stuff that girls would find cool, too, instead of dumb things that guys think are funny."

"I thought that was pretty cool," she said sweetly, grinning at him and looking like she was being perfectly sincere about that. "I would never have the guts to do that, even if I was leaving soon. So how come you had to change schools?"

There was a polite cough from the other guy Nick had brought with him and Nick quickly slapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. "And this is AJ. He doesn't talk much." AJ shot Nick a look but he didn't, in fact, say anything.

"Hey, man," Justin said, holding out his hand for AJ to shake. "Nice to meet both of you." He turned halfway back to Mandy. "Um, that time it was because my parents were separating so I had to change schools to one nearer my mom's new place. This year, it was 'cause she got a job." He smiled again, hoping to put them at ease. "I like this place so far."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she said, looking horrified that she'd even asked, now. "Oh, but I'm glad you like it here. I've lived here my whole life, so sometimes it seems kinda boring to me, but I still can't imagine living anywhere else."

"Oh, don't be sorry," he said, touching her arm. "Really, it's no big deal; they're both happier, I'm happier ... anyway." He gestured over his shoulder at the chants of the cheerleaders. "So how come you aren't out there?" he teased lightly. "Not willing to bleach your hair to fit in?"

She snickered and both AJ and Nick laughed a little in the background. "Just not my thing," she agreed, watching them practice for a second with a bit of a distant look on her face. "I'd rather be playing the game than cheering it on, most of the time. I'm not very good--"

"--but she's got enthusiasm!" finished Nick, grinning at her. She just stuck her tongue out at him, then turned back to Justin and tilted her head to the side and smiled broadly. The whole thing came off so comical that Justin couldn't help but laugh a little.

"That's totally cool," Justin nodded. "Chicks that play sports are cool." He really thought that. Just like he had a soft spot for guys that didn't. "So ... what are y'all up to? What do you do after school, anyway?"

She shrugged. Nick and AJ imitated her, then cracked up. "We hang out," she said, making another face at them. "Occasionally we run all over the school trying to find Nick's imaginary new friends so he can introduce us to them. You know, the usual."

Justin made sure she saw him when he rolled his eyes at Nick -- and AJ, too -- this time. "That's cool,"he said. "So you don't ... I mean. Do you ever go watch practices or games or, um, rehearsals or anything? are you in any clubs or teams?" He hadn't made it to the auditorium yet, and maybe going in a group would look less conspicuous.

"Oh, sometimes," she said, looking past him at the cheerleading practice again. "Not, like, *this*, but sometimes, if there's something interesting going on. Or sometimes, if the field's free, we'll go play touch football or something. Oh, and I'm in choir, too. And don't you give me that look, Nickolas Carter," she went on, turning quickly to the side to give her friend a look. "You are too, and I bet you haven't told him that yet."

"You *are*?" Justin said, staring, then quickly tried to explain. "No, no, it's cool, it's just. I always wanted to be in one and seriously, at my old schools only huge, huge dorks did chorus. Are there auditions, or. Do you have to be in the class? Is it big? How many people? Guys and girls, obviously, that's cool ... what about a capella groups?" He only noticed he was babbling and practically bouncing when they all started laughing at him.

"No, it's cool," said Nick, shaking his head at Justin, or maybe at himself for not saying something sooner. "There are lots of people here, want to get on at the theme parks or whatever, so choir and drama are, like, huge here. Bigger than huge. You don't have to audition to get in, just for, you know, what part you're gonna sing, and solos and stuff. Are you for real? I never thought you'd be interested in that stuff."

"Oh, no, I *totally* am," Justin said, smiling so broadly, and it was all genuine. "I love to sing. Not act, so much, although I like to watch. But singing, yes. When's practice? Can I just show up or do I have to talk to the director?" He was so excited. This might be the thing he needed to really feel like he was fitting in. Plus, it was great to learn that it was actually cool to do drama and stuff. Not that he would have stopped thinking Joey was the greatest thing ever if it wasn't -- and not that he thought he was unpopular in the least -- it was still awesome.

Mandy was laughing, but it was obviously not *at* him. "You can just show up," she said. "Talk to the director after, maybe. It's still early enough in the year that people are still kinda trickling in all the time. Next practice is ... when's next practice, Nick?"

Nick looked like a deer caught in the headlights for a second, then relaxed when he realized he actually knew the answer to the question and he hadn't just been caught napping in the middle of class. "Thursday," he said. "After class. So you coming, Justin? That would be cool."

"I'll try," he grinned. "Totally." Then he felt a little awkward about excluding AJ from the conversation, even unintentionally. "Um, how about you, AJ? do you sing too? or." He looked him over, trying to tell what he might be into from his appearance.

Whatever it was, from the look of him it wasn't choir. So Justin was a little surprised when AJ said, "Yeah, I sing, too," and left it at that. Nick wasn't kidding when he said he didn't talk much.

"He's weird around new people," Mandy stage whispered to Justin, her eyes on Nick and AJ as she said it. "He'll come around." AJ just rolled his eyes at her and looked amused.

"And coming with us to homecoming, right?" Justin said casually, throwing an arm over Mandy's shoulder. Even if Nick hadn't mentioned it, that seemed like an innocuous enough thing to say. "Or do you have a girlfriend." He hoped Mandy was flattered instead of offended that he didn't need to ask about her.

"Nick'll nag me for days if I don't come," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I'll be there. I'm sure I can find someone to go with, since you've gone and stolen our girl."

"I'm not your girl," Mandy shot back, looking like she was having fun with this. "I'm not even sure you guys *notice* I'm a girl."

"We notice you're a girl," insisted Nick. "You went and grew these things." He held his hands in front of his chest like he was supporting giant breasts until Mandy leaned forward and smacked his arm. "Ow. But see? We noticed."

Justin laughed happily, until the clock on the gym wall caught his eye. "Shit. Um. So, yeah, speaking of watching rehearsals and stuff, I thought I'd go down and check out the musical they're putting on. Just ... " he blushed. "Just to try and see what people do. So, um, you can come, or I'll just see y'all tomorrow ... "

"Oh, hey, we can do that," said Mandy. "I forgot that was happening today!"

"You just want to see Joey," Nick teased her.

"I do not!" she said instantly. "I'm over that already. That's *so* last year. And besides, we're friends now, and I can't have a crush on a friend."

AJ looked at the clock then gave them a regretful shake of his head. "I gotta go to work," he said. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

AJ was already practically down the hall before Justin'd recovered enough from Nick and Mandy's exchange to notice. "Oh, bye, AJ," he called after him, then turned back to his new friends. "Um. Joey?" he said, playing a little dumb.

"Fatone," Mandy supplied for him. "He's a senior so you probably don't know him. And don't worry, it was just a stupid crush. Trust Nick never to forget that kind of thing."

"Mind like a steel trap," said Nick, snapping his teeth like that made it more believable. "He's good, he's been getting leads since he was a freshman, practically. Mandy *always* goes to see the shows he's in."

"That's because he's in all the shows!" she protested, rolling her eyes at him. "You really are something else, Nick."

Justin pulled himself together enough to wink at Nick, and then question Mandy with what he hoped they'd interpret as patient indulgence. "He's all that, huh?" he asked. "How come you're not dating him, then? You're about the best-looking girl I've seen here."

She blushed prettily and shook her head. "I'm not his type," she said with a sigh. "And then we got to be friends, and ... well, I'm just not his type. No chemistry there. I don't think he's ever really dated anyone at school."

"It's really a shame," said Nick, giving her a mock heartbroken face. "You were too good for that guy anyway. But yes. He really is that all that, apparently. They're always talking about what a great future he could've had ahead of him."

"Um, could have had?" Justin echoed. "Not to be, like, rude, but. Is he dying or something?" He finally let go of Mandy's shoulder and watched with interest the way she immediately started nudging Nick, just for Nick to nudge her back.

"Oh," she said, looking up at him and hesitating before answering. Her eyes slid over to Nick, like they were looking for something, then slid back to him again. "He's just ... they don't think he's gonna pursue it professionally," she said finally. "But he is really good. Well ... you'll see when we get there." Then suddenly she was smiling at him again like she never hadn't been.

"Um, okay," Justin said awkwardly, not sure what that was about at all, but trying not to obsess about it. Mandy seemed cool, and he had no doubt he'd get the story eventually. If not from her, from Nick, who seemed to know plenty about Joey himself, after all.

He led them down the hallways to the auditorium without even realizing how it looked that he knew his way so well, and tried to be quiet when he pushed open the doors.

They were hit immediately with the sound of a duet from "Oklahoma," and sure enough, Joey was the guy on stage. Justin felt his mouth drop open a little.

"See?" whispered Mandy in one ear, while Nick said, "I told you," in the other. They slipped virtually unnoticed into the back row; other people were scattered around the room and people were coming and going all the time, after all.

It wasn't just that Joey sounded good, though, it was his whole presence. Justin had been watching him from practically the first day of classes and he'd never been hit with it quite like this before.

"Ow," said Nick as Mandy elbowed him one last time before sitting down on the opposite side of Justin from him. "And you wonder why I forget you're a girl!"

"Shh," Justin said distractedly, elbowing Nick himself. Joey's voice singing was much deeper than the way he'd sounded when he talked to Justin earlier, or at least he was able to hit the low notes with ease. The girl he was singing with -- who was good, too, and TINY -- was either an incredible actress, or was just as impressed as Justin was.

Nick fell silent, but not before giving Justin a curious look. And they -- both of them -- *stayed* pretty silent for the rest of the rehearsal. Justin obviously wasn't the only person who was there to hear Joey sing.

* * *

They were making their way out of the theatre after the rehearsal -- or at least Justin was, and Nick and Mandy seemed to be following -- when the lead girl scrambled off the stage and headed up the aisle toward them. "Nick!" she called, waving, and Justin heard Nick groan. And Mandy groan louder. As for himself, he just tried to hide his head a little so Joey wouldn't see him if he tried to see what had caught his co-star's attention.

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact," murmured Mandy before she got there, as Nick finally got up the nerve to turn around to face her. "And don't smile at her, it only encourages her."

"Hey," said Nick with pained cheer. "Hey, long time no see. You sounded good out there."

"Thanks," she said, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. At least she sounded genuinely flattered by the compliment. "What are you guys doing here? And ... who's your friend?"

Justin had to ignore Mandy's advice in this case -- he just didn't want this girl going back to Joey and saying anything bad about him. So he smiled and introduced himself. "I'm Justin," he said. "And you make a great Laurie."

She grinned. "Justin," she echoed. "I'm Christina, and impressed."

"Listen, Chrissie, we gotta get going. I need to get Mandy home before dinner," interrupted Nick. "But really, you were great, and we can hang out some other time."

"Oh, hey Joey," called out Mandy overtop of him, and Justin was afraid to look but he was sure, just sure, that Joey had to be coming up the aisle, too. "You blew me away, baby. As usual."

"But you never said what you ... well. Okay." She, too, was obviously distracted by Joey approaching. Justin still refused to turn around.

"Where do you live, Mandy?" he said, forcing his voice to be even. "I can drop you off if I'm closer ... "

"No, no," insisted Nick. "I promised I'd get her home, it's fine. It's a short walk from here. Of course, you can come along. Not gonna desert you now, or anything."

"You guy's gonna be at Sam's tonight?" Joey called out, sounding like he was still at least a short distance away.

"Yeah," said Mandy. "I think so. Was planning to, anyway."

"Cool," he said. "I'll see you guys there, then."

Justin swallowed and looked down at his hands, not wanting to invite himself in front of strangers. "Um, it was nice to meet you, Christina," he said, giving her a smile that she returned easily before he tried to move past where Nick and Mandy had paused. "You can bet I'll be at opening night."

"Oh, good," she said. "But I'll see you before that, I'm sure. Any friend of Nick's, especially one with such obviously good taste ... " She left itat that and Justin blushed more from embarrassment than anything.

It wa s like Joey hadn't even seen him, and maybe he hadn't; he'd never gotten close and was obviously responding more to their voices than to anything else. "Come on," said Nick, tugging his arm. "I'll see you later, Chrissie."

"Bye," said Mandy, just as sweetly, and Justin had to wonder just what they had against Christina. She seemed nice enough to him. "See you tonight, Joey!"

"Right," he said, sounding like he was further away already. "Later!"

Justin let himself be tugged out of the auditorium, taking the chance to find his tongue. He hadn't even gotten close to him and he was still all flustered. "Okay, what was *that* about," he demanded when they got outside. "And really, I can drop both of you guys off if you want a ride."

"You drive?" said Nick, looking at him in surprise. "The hell? Well, sure, if you're serious. And you don't think you'll get arrested on the way."

"Thanks," said Mandy graciously. "And *that* was the Christina. She'll eat you alive, Justin. And besides, you're supposed to be *my* date."

"The Christina?" Justin laughed. "She seemed nice. And she's a great singer. And has the hots for you, man," he added, looking curiously at Nick. "Not your type?"

He led them out to the parking lot where he had his mom's car. He just had a learner's permit, which meant he *wasn't* supposed to drive without his mom until he turned 16, but she didn't care.

"Been there, done that," said Nick, rolling his eyes. "One of many who've done *that*." Mandy looked vaguely disgusted. "Anyway. That's how she traps you ... she's all sweet and sinks her claws in and *bam*, once she's got you it's all over. I'm surprised she still talks to me sometimes. She must still think she can get me again. Which ... god, no. *Not* my type, at all."

"She is a great singer," admitted Mandy, regretfully. "Which is too bad. People like her should be cursed with croaky voices and, like, thick eyebrows or something."

"But she was nice," Justin said weakly, then just dropped it. They obviously knew her and he obviously didn't. And he wasn't exactly sure why he was defending her anyway. "Um, your friend Joey's a great singer, too. I still don't get why you think he won't keep doing it when he graduates."

"Oh, he'll keep doing it," said Mandy instantly. "Trust me, you'll never get Joey to stop singing. It's hard to even get through a *conversation* with him without him breaking into something. It's just ... the professional thing. So ... you moved here from Tennessee, right? What's it like there?"

Justin sighed, but he'd already pressed the two of them once about Joey; he wasn't going to do it again until he knew them better. Or knew *him* better. "It was ... I don't know. Not all that different. Deeper accents." He smiled at Mandy, happy when she smiled back. "I'm just glad to be here, and hope I get to stay this time."

"Oh, it would be awful if you had to move again," she said in sympathy. "And we'd miss you. So was your school the same as here? The same kinds of people and stuff?" For a second her eyes slid away from him to meet Nick's again, but just for a moment. "Oh, I should get in, we can talk on the way."

"Well, mostly," he said, closing the door for her after she got in, and chewing on his lip as he got behind the wheel. "I mean, I guess so. I don't really understand your question, maybe? It seems the same so far.Cheerleaders and football players and nerds and drama types, right? Just that y'all have a lot more drama types and seem kind of cooler about it."

"Yeah, you said, about how the people in chorus there were all, like, super-geeks or something," he said, nodding her head. "That must've been pretty frustrating, not being able to do what you wanted becase it wasn't cool ... or accepted ... "

Nick was quiet as he got into the back seat, but he was obviously listening to the conversation with some interest.

"Well, it's not like I'm too scared to do something because of, of peer pressure or whatever," Justin protested gently. "I do my own thing. Believe me. It just ... singing wasn't quite worth it, you know? There are things I'd make bigger sacrifices for."

"Like what?" she asked, looking at him curiously. "I don't think I would've liked that much, knowing that the things I loved were ... mocked, by other people. Not that that doesn't happen a little everywhere, just ... you know what I mean."

"Maybe that's why I never let my heart get too wrapped up in it," Justin shrugged, glancing at Nick in the mirror. He knew exactly what he meant, though; not that he was ready to share it with them. He'd make sacrifices to have a boyfriend. He was pretty sure he would, at least. He wanted it a lot.

"I think you're gonna have fun," she said, smiling at him again and touching his knee gently. "My place is just the first right past the lights. So can you pick us up tonight? Oh!" she brought a hand up to her mouth and her eyes widened a little. "I didn't even ask if you were free. Sorry. With these guys--" She jerked a thumb toward the backseat. "--I just assume they are."

Justin concentrated on the road. "Well, what's tonight," he asked awkwardly, not looking at either of them. He hadn't been invited, after all. And he wasn't about to start just tagging along places. He wasn't *needy*. Although. Joey saying he was going to be there was almost reason enough ...

She shrugged a little, prettily. "Same as every night," she said. "Hanging out at Sam's, playing video games, whatever. You haven't been there yet?" He pointed out the window. "This is the corner here."

He slowed down. "Who is Sam?" he asked. "Is he a friend of yours? I wasn't ... I hadn't heard anything about it, I don't want to crash. That's not cool." He stopped the car and chewed on his lip again.

"Oh!" she said. "No, no. Sam's a place, not a person. Sam's Pizza Place and Arcade. So can you come? Or are you busy tonight?" She undid her seatbelt but paused before getting out of the car.

He'd actually planned on calling Chris, the first time since he'd left Tennessee, but ... "No, I'm not busy," he said, laughing a little at his mistake. "I can come. I can pick y'all up. What time? and you're SURE it's cool if I show?"

"Of course it's okay," said Nick, finally piping up as he got out of the car, ready to get into the front seat. "What, you think there's gonna be someone at the door, telling you you can't come in?"

Mandy hit Nick with the car door when she opened it, then gave him a sweet smile. "That's my house there," she said to Justin, pointing again. "With the blue door. Can you pick me up at eight?"

"Eight o'clock," he agreed, making a mental note of the house number, and smiling at her. "Oh, one more thing ... do people dress up? or just wear what they wore to school?" He blushed when Nick peered over his shoulder at him. "What. I'd look like a dork if I was the only person wearing the same shirt from school."

"Don't dress up," she assured him. "Dress down. I'll see you at eight, Justin."

As soon as she was out of the car, Nick slid smoothly into the space where she'd been sitting. "Just *get* dressed. That's the only requirement. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Bye, Mandy!"

"Bye, dork!"

Justin tried to hide an amused smile when Nick looked back over at him. He liked Mandy already. And was more than a little curious why Nick *wasn't* the one taking her to the dance. "So, dress down," he said, releasing the brake. "Got it. I'm picking you up, too?"

"Well, you don't *have* to," said Nick, grinning at him. "I know I'm not Mandy, though. I don't have--" He gestured in front of his chest again. "You like her, don't you? That's cool."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Of course I like her. She's smart, and sweet. I don't care about the tits, though, man. It's not about that." He followed the roads when Nick pointed. "Anyway. Thanks for introducing us. You think she's cool about the dance thing?"

"Well yeah, sure," said Nick. "It's gonna be a whole bunch of us anyway, right? Besides, she likes you. If she doesn't like you, you know it. You would've seen about five minutes of her and that's it. She's pretty awesome, huh?"

"She's awesome," Justin agreed, smiling to himself. "And yeah, we'll all go together. I'll get her flowers, though ... my mom'll absolutely kill me if I don't. So don't freak."

"Flowers?" said Nick with a snicker. "I'm not sure Mandy's a flowers kind of girl. But sure, you do that." Justin was actually kind of sure that Mandy *was* a flowers kind of girl, but he didn't need to say it. "It's what I would do for a real girl. So you're cool with picking me up later?"

"Yup," Justin said, pulling up to the curb. "I'll even get you first; you're on the way. So, like, five til. Okay? And if you're nice I'll even try and run interference with the Christina for you tonight. If you're nice."

"I'll be the nicest guy you ever knew," said Nick fervently as he got out of the car. "Seriously. Remind me to tell you stories about her. Your balls'll crawl right up inside you, man." He slapped the roof of the car and gave Justin one last grin. "Later, Justin. It'll be a good time."

"Later, Nick," Justin replied; sure it would.

* * *

"Hope you didn't eat too much diinner," said Mandy, hopping out of the car the moment Justin had parked it. "The pizza here is *amazing*. I can't believe no one's brought you here yet. I don't know what Nick was *thinking*."

"Hey, we never hung out much," protested Nick, tugging on her hair playfully. "Before now, I mean."

"I've been settling in," Justin said, by way of excuse, getting out of the car more slowly himself. He still wasn't sure about his outfit -- a kind of tight sleeveless shirt and baggy shorts, and flip-flops -- but Mandy had said dress down. "Anyway, there's always room for pizza."

He moved to her other side as they walked through the door, and it occured to Justin that the three of them were so tall that they might pass for two or three years older than they were.

"Oh, look," said Mandy, pointing through the window. "Joey and JC are already here. Let's go say hi." Before Justin could breathe a word of protest she was sweeping them inside and right to their table. "Hey guys, we made it."

Joey grinned at her and snagged another chair, then finally looked at the rest of them and saw Justin, straight on. "Hey, it's Pookie! How're you doing, man?"

Nick didn't miss the reference, and looked at Justin in astonishment. "You've met? You didn't tell me you'd met."

Justin could have died from embarrassment, so he dealt with it the only way he knew how. "Am I supposed to tell you about everyone I meet?" he said dryly, trying to communicate with his eyes for Nick to just drop it. "I talked to the lunch lady today, too."

"Does she call you Pookie, too?" asked Nick, pulling up his own chair and leaving Justin the only one standing.

Joey was already laughing, though, and gesturing for Justin to find a chair. "It's a long story," he told Nick. "You had to be there. It's Justin, right?" Joey nodded his head, knowing he'd remembered right. "Watching you guys come in, it's like the Amazon triplets Your mama made you eat your Wheaties, didn't she?"

Justin just shrugged and rubbed his bare shoulders nervously before forcing himself to stop. He held out his hand for Joey's friend, who looked even more amused than Nick, if that was possible. "Hi. I think I saw you today, too?"

"JC," the guy said, with a soft voice and a cock of his head. "And you definitely did. What I've been wondering all day, though, is whether that letter really was yours. Fess up, man."

"See, and I've been arguing with him," said Joey, "because *I* didn't think you were the kind of guy to be seeing someone who dots their i's with hearts. But we all have lapses in taste."

"Letter? What letter?" said Nick, looking from one to the other and then at Mandy who just shrugged back at him and smiled. "And seeing someone? I *know* Justin isn't seeing someone. He doesn't *know* anyone."

"God, Nick," Justin muttered, low enough that no one could hear as he turned and grabbed a chair himself, turning it backwards and straddling it. "Okay. One: no, I'm not seeing anyone. And two: if I was, Joey's right; it wouldn't be anyone that dotted their i's with hearts." He took a chance and actually met Joey's eyes. "What, you weren't convincing enough about me not looking like a Pookie?"

"JC has a pretty broad definition of "Pookie"," said Joey, holding his gaze for a moment. "So how'd you hook up with these guys, anyway?"

"Nick cheats off him in algebra," said Mandy candidly. "Figured he'd fit right in. Did you guys order yet? I'm starving. Mom made tuna casserole again. I fed most of it to the dog."

"And that'll stop as soon as we get our first test scores," Justin sighed knowingly, but exchanging a friendly grin with Nick. "We started developing a theory about guys that are good in math and personality, but it's not quite ready for the public yet."

JC reached across the table to grab Mandy's wrist between his thumb and finger. "No wonder, miss skin-and-bones. And for the record, guys? I got an 800 on the math section of the SAT."

Nick gave Justin a significant look that Justin could actually read pretty clearly -- they wouldn't have to revise their theory too much, even with that new bit of information. "Mandy, you eat more than *I* do," Nick complained aloud. "It's so not fair."

"Live with it," said Mandy with an unsympathetic grin. "You want your usual?"

"What's the usual," Justin asked, rubbing his shoulders again before leaning over the back of his chair. He liked JC fine, actually, so far; he just had this way of seeming like he knew exactly what you were thinking. And he and Joey seemed to have a pretty established way of communicating without speaking themselves.

"Slice of pepperoni," said Nick, nodding his head at her as she started to get up to get them something.

"Can you get me a meat lovers', sweetie?" said Joey, reaching into his pocket and getting her some cash, then giving her a wink as he handed it over. There was already an empty plate in front of him, but apparently he was ready for more.

"You, Justin?" she asked, looking at him expectantly. "As long as I'm going up there already ... "

"Oh, you can't carry all that," he said. Not condescendingly, either; he made sure of it. "Let me help you." He pushed away from his chair and tugged his shirt back down over his hips. He wasn't hungry at all, really, but he could do with a two-minute break from Joey's attention already. "JC?" he asked, but the guy - skinnier than Mandy, Justin wasn't sure what *he* was complaining about either -- just shook his head.

She seemed surprised that he was offering to help. "They aren't really being assholes," she promised him. "It's just my turn is all. Well, with Nick, anyway. Joey's just taking advantage of me. Aren't you, Joey?"

"You know it, sweetie," he shot back.

"But I'm not gonna say no, if you really want to ... "

"I do," Justin nodded, putting a hand on her back to guide her through the crowd. "So, um," he said, when they were out of earshot. "Joey kind of flirts with you. Are you sure you're just friends now?" The way he'd been with Mandy actually really took Justin by surprise. Usually his gaydar -- well, as much practice as it had had, which admittedly wasn't much -- was right on the money. It was almost disappointing.

She laughed a little before stifling it. "I'm *very* sure we're just friends now," she said. "We were never anything other than that. I was a kid, I had a crush, I'm much older and wiser now." She sighed and looked dreamy for a moment. "He is great, though, isn't he? And he flirts with *every*one. I just know better than to take it personally. Like I told you ... I'm not his type. Never will be. So what are you having, anyway?"

"Just a coke," Justin said, but he pulled out enough money to cover her food too. That was good, then, he figured. Mostly good. Good to know he at least might have a chance. Just bad 'cause it meant he had a chance to screw up. "And he's ... he seems nice. Flirty; you're right. And kind of quieter than I thought he'd be. Tonight, at least."

"Well, you only saw him on stage, really," she reminded him right before she ordered the pizza and drinks. "So you probably don't have a really good idea what he's like. Mind you ... you're *right*, he's not a quiet guy. Just wait 'til he gets going. You sure you only want a coke?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Justin said, sighing. "Well, whatever. He seems nice, that's the important thing. So. If you don't have a crush on him, who *do* you like? if I'm allowed to ask." He grinned at her blush.

"You're not allowed to ask that," she said softly, giving him a shy smile. "I'm sure you'll figure it out for yourself, and why rob you of the fun of that discovery? Anyway. You're gonna take one bite of my pizza and then want a piece of your own, you know. You might as well get one now."

"If I do," Justin said playfully, "then I'll need the exercise getting up to get it myself anyway. So no." He smiled and tugged on her hair the way he'd seen Nick do. "And I'll get it out of you eventually. Your crush, I mean. Just like I'll get Fatone's deep dark secret out of you too."

"That's his to tell," she said softly, then suddenly grinned at him and batted his hand away. "You're just like Nick," she laughed. "You guys were separated at birth or something. Except you notice I'm a girl. Which ... is nice."

"Nick knows you're a girl," Justin defended his friend. But that was Nick's to convince her, he knew, as they headed back to the table. And wondered again how he'd managed to be friends with close friends - or at least good friends -- of his crush, without trying. He sighed and hoped he'd find something cool to say to him.

Mandy looked at Nick, then looked at Justin, then sighed. "No, he doesn't," she said again, softly, then sat back down. "Okay, if anyone else wants anything now? You're too late. Get it yourself."

"Oh, hey, no one told me you were getting drinks, too," said Nick, looking at her hopefully.

"No," she said firmly, and very obviously made herself comfortable in her seat.

"You can have mine, Nick," Justin offered, sitting back down in his seat, too. Backwards, again. "So," he said, looking from JC to Joey and back, when he found he couldn't look at Joey too long. "This is where everyone goes, even when y'all are seniors? That's cool. Kind of sucks we aren't closer to the beach, though."

"You should be used to it," Nick reminded him, stealing a sip of his drink.

"This is where all the people we like go," Joey corrected him, "and if you'll look around, it's *mostly* seniors. You guys are the exception, not the rule." He looked at Justin's drink. "What, no pizza? You go right back over there and get some, young man."

Justin couldn't do anything to stop the blush from Joey's scrutiny this time, so he *did* look around, as requested, and it *did* seem like an older crowd. He hadn't realized Nick was that popular, when he'd met him.

"Not hungry," he murmured, handing Mandy a napkin. "You didn't yell at JC."

"That's because JC has grown up knowing the joy of Sam's pizza," said Joey. "You, however, have not. Next time? Promise me. I'll be watching you."

"He will," said Mandy solemnly. "Joey takes his food very seriously."

"Next time?" Justin echoed, then glanced away from JC's appraising look. "Sure, next time. I have a feeling these two will be using me for my car until one of them drives, anyway. Won't you." he shot Nick and Mandy mock dirty glares, before sucking on his straw.

That certainly wasn't the thing to do if he wanted to draw attention *away* from him, he realized afterward.

"I don't think you're supposed to be driving anyway," said Mandy suspiciously. "But as long as it gets me rides, I'm not gonna complain. You drive better than my dad does. He thinks stop signs are just a suggestion."

"Yes, next time," said Joey. "Thursday, after choir. I'll bring these guys with me, you can meet us here. Then we tie you down and feed you. And a good time will be had by all."

"Tie me ... you're in choir?" Justin blurted, blinking at Nick, and then Mandy, accusingly. They hadn't *said* that. Now he just didn't know if he could show up after all. "Um, both of you?" he said, at JC's smirk.

"Both of us," JC nodded, leaning over to drink some of Joey's coke.

"But with your play," Justin said, and then stopped. Just stopped.

"Well, that's the thing about the show," said Joey, looking *too* amused. "They like you to be able to sing *and* act. Ergo, most of us who are in the show, are also in the choir. Not that I'm gonna be going for any solos this year or anything. Already stupidly overloaded myself."

"Justin's joining," said Nick conversationally, and Justin wondered if he *ever* picked up nuance in conversation. "He'll be there on Thursday."

"No shit?" said Joey, looking intrigued. "Well, that should be interesting."

"I don't know, yet," protested Justin weakly, scooting closer to the the table. He would die -- *die* -- if anyone noticed how his body had responded to Joey just teasing at tying him up. And there he'd be, with his own secret blown. "And, um. Why interesting."

"Interesting fun," said Joey, watching him curiously. Watching him a lot, really, it felt like. "I didn't know you sang." It would surprise Justin to know he'd even thought about it. "I like to hear new voices." JC leaned forward to murmur something in Joey's ear, causing him to lean back and nod his head and not say anything more.

Mandy's mouth was too full to say anything, which left Nick. "Oh, don't you say you don't know," he said. "Weren't you just telling us how much you wished you could've joined, back in Tennessee?"

"I *could* have joined," Justin said, looking almost pleading at Mandy. Even though she wouldn't have any reason to think he needed support here. "I just didn't. Like I still might not. I just ... should get good grades so mom'll let me keep driving, and ... and. I have to buy a tie for the dance." There. as good an excuse as any.

Mandy was just looking at him in confusion, and didn't seem to know *what* to say to that. Justin *had* been really excited about it earlier. Obviously so. And they wouldn't have forgotten that.

"Well, either we'll see you or we won't, then," said Joey, digging into his pizza. "You should come, though. Everyone who does, likes it. And dammit, JC, quit stealing my drink already."

JC just rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, looking at Justin, and Nick, and Mandy, each in turn. "Nick and Mandy are good," he said finally. "If you're any good, that could be kind of neat. What did you call them earlier, Joe? the Amazons?"

"Did you see them come in?" laughed Joey, suddenly relaxed again. "They totally are. Except weren't Amazons girls? But still. It works." He snatched his drink back and sipped at it. "Are you?" he asked Justin finally. "Any good, I mean?"

"God," Justin laughed. "I thought you were asking if I was a girl. Um. I'm okay, I guess. Like Nick said, I never did it where I came from. We'll see on Thursday, I suppose." He sighed, knowing he couldn't back out of it now. And if Nick or Mandy asked why he'd been so weird, he could blame it on being shy in front of a bunch of seniors.

"No, I know you're not a girl," said Joey, looking him up and down.

"Great, so we know we can tell girls from boys," said Nick, shaking his head at them all. "Good for us. Justin, you're *so* coming on Thursday if I have to carry you there over my shoulder. We're not gonna have gone through all this for nothing."

"Come on, Nick, he said he was going," said Mandy, offering Justin a bite of her pizza. "You're gonna scare him away. Let it alone already."

Justin accepted the food; anything to distract him from the way Joey had given him the once-over, the way his heart had caught in his throat. He *noticed* him. Maybe he wasn't out, maybe he didn't date, maybe he didn't even think he was gay, but he NOTICED him.

JC'd noticed too, and he started leaning back toward Joey before stopping and just shaking his head. Arching an eyebrow at Justin that he just didn't know *how* to interpet.

"I'll go," Justin finally swallowed. "I'll try, at least. But I *do* have to get a tie, still."

"You're not wearing a tie," insisted Mandy, reaching out to straighten his shirt and looking like she was trying to imagine him in one. "Really. It's not necessary. You don't really strike me as a tie type of person."

"So," said Joey, actually looking off-balance for a moment. "You're not a Pookie person and you're not a little hearts over your i's person and now you're not a tie person either. So what kind of a person *are* you?"

"I *am* a tie person!" Justin protested, laughing a little and batting at Mandy's hands playfully. "You always were ties to dances. Just because I don't have one that I can wear since my, um, growth spurt doesn't mean I'm not a tie person." He looked up at Joey from under his eyelashes. "What are my other choices, though. For the type of person I can say I am."

"You can be whoever you want to be," he said enigmatically. "And you really, really don't need to wear a tie here. Honest."

"Don't worry, I'll dress you," Mandy promised Justin. "Men have no fashion sense anyway. Except Joey. Who has a *baffling* fashion sense. Just trust me, Justin, you'll look good. You think I would settle for anything less?"

"You never offered to dress *me* for dances," said Nick around his last mouthful of pizza. "You didn't mind being seen with a slob as long as he wasn't your date?"

"Pretty much, yeah," she said, giving him a sweet smile.

Justin looked down when he saw Joey AND JC watching him watch the interplay between Mandy and Nick. "My mama'll kill me if I don't wear a tie, too," he admitted to Mandy. "It's okay ... I promise I've got nice clothes in my closet." He did, too; he just realized the first day at school that no one dressed like that. Then he tried a smile and gestured at his shirt. "And what. I don't look good?"

"You look good," she said, letting her hand linger for a moment just below the hollow of his throat before pulling away. "You do look good. I guess you *can* dress yourself, after all. Unlike most of the guys I know."

"Hey, I heard that," said Nick, reaching over to tug her hair again, like he was a little kid. "Don't think I won't get you back for it."

"By the time you do, I'll have forgotten what it was about in the first place," she teased him.

"Maybe we should think twice, next time, before inviting the kids to join our table," JC said dryly. Justin watched him nudge Joey to get his attention from whatever it had been on.

He smiled, though, determined to let that roll off his back, and winked at Nick and Mandy. "They're just jealous 'cause they're probably too old to be able to dance."

Mandy giggled at him, and Nick just looked satisfied, like he couldn't have done any better. "They'll just have to watch, then," said Mandy, reaching out to fuss with Justin's shirt one last time. "I bet you *are* the type that can dance, aren't you, Justin?"

Justin smiled at her, not bothering to push away her hands this time. If she was fawning all over him it would have been one thing; he would have discouraged it. But this was just friendly, it seemed.

"I love to dance," he admitted. "Like, I can't wait to be able to go out and do it in clubs and stuff."

"Yeah, that'll be a few years yet," said Joey, and it wasn't really mean but it still stung. It wouldn't be *that* long. He practically looked old enough already to get into the good clubs, and he would already be doing all ages if he had anyone to go with and there were any around that weren't completely lame.

"So tell us more about where you come from," Mandy encouraged him, a bit of a clumsy attempt to make sure things were all okay between them. "I've never been there."

"Oh, Memphis?" Justin shrugged, giving all his attention to Nick and Mandy. He didn't need to react to everything Joey said. Especially the stuff that he obviously intended a reaction for. "It was fine. Nothing special. Like I said before, no different from here, really. Small city."

"What *were* you involved with while you were there?" asked Mandy, offering him another bite of her pizza. For someone who was teased for eating so much, she sure wasn't doing it very fast. "Since we already know it wasn't choir."

"I play basketball," Justin admitted, a little anxious to see how that went over with them. "I played for my school's varsity team last year, actually, and then just for the rec league out of season. I didn't have a lot of time for other stuff. You know? Not lately, since I've been helping Ma with the moves and stuff, and before that ... I was just a kid, pretty much." He *was* only 15, still.

"Well fuck, why aren't you playing here?" Nick blurted out. "If you were good enough toplay varsity last year?"

"I should've figured you for a ball player," said Joey, nodding his head and grinning at him. "Should've figured. You've got that-" He gestured his hand vaguely in front of Justin. "Look. You know?"

"God, Joey," laughed Mandy. "You think you can tell everything about a person just by looking at them."

"Well," he said, meeting Justin's eyes. "I usually can."

Justin made himself -- *made* himself -- not look away. The whole thing was walking this weird line of not-quite-flirting, and until he knew what Joey's deal was, he didn't want to be obvious. "Was it the big hands?" he said innocently, not even looking away when JC started choking on his drink.

Joey broke into a wide, wide grin and his gaze dropped to Justin's hands. "Yep, that was it," he said. "First thing I noticed about you, when I was giving you someone else's love letter. You know ... I'm always gonna wonder whose that was."

"You should've kept it," said Nick. "Actually, you should have posted it up on the bulletin board so we all could have enjoyed it."

"How romantic could it be?" Justin shrugged, smiling back at Joey even though he was replying to Nick. "It was addressed to Pookie, remember?" He tore his eyes away, finally, and tried a smile at Mandy. "And you, girl: next guy lucky enough to go out with you, remember that. No Pookie."

"I would never, *ever*, call someone Pookie," she said, making a face. "Let alone dot my i's with hearts. The very thought makes me cringe." She did a full-body shudder, to demonstrate.

"See?" said Nick, close to Justin's ear. "I told you. She's not a flowers girl." But Justin still thought he was wrong.

"I guess I don't have any support at *this* table for my broader definition of the Pookie type," JC put in, nudging Joey again.

"Nicknames are only good if they're, like, personal," Justin said decisively. Not that he'd really know. But in his fantasies, that's how it worked. "Something special between you and the person you're with."

"Right," said Mandy, and even Joey was nodding a little bit. "It doesn't *mean* anything, if it's just any old name."

"So if you want to call Justin 'Pookie'," said Nick to JC, grinning mischievously, "well, that's between you and Justin."

JC laughed, and Joey laughed, and they exchanged another one of their looks. Justin stuck out his tongue at Nick, and threw his arm around Mandy's shoulder. Maybe a little bit to get back at him. A little.

"I respond better to other things, believe me," he said, trying to sound cocky again.

Joey looked at Mandy, then at Justin, then nodded his head. "I just bet you do," he said. "Jace? You ready to go? I gotta finish that thing tonight, before it gets too late."

"Oh, already," said Mandy, looking disappointed that they were going.

"Already," he confirmed, starting to get up from the table. "You kids have a good night and all."

Justin let go of Mandy and glanced over at Nick, to try and gauge if he'd done something wrong, something to make Joey want to leave. But Nick looked completely unaffected, so it was more than likely a coincidence.

"I'm ready," JC said, standing up too. "It was nice to meet you, Justin." He didn't seem surprised either.

"You too," replied Justin, chewing on his lip.

"See you guys," said Mandy cheerfully, waving to them as they headed out of the place.

"Yeah, see you ... well, Thursday, at least," said Joey. When he smiled one last time, it looked like it was right at Justin.

"So you guys want to play some games?" asked Nick once Joey and JC had left.

"Sure," Justin said. "Right after y'all tell me why you didn't mention how Joey was in chorus, too, when you were telling me about him. Now he thinks I'm a spaz." He kept his voice light, so it didn't seem like he cared, but. "That and the Pookie thing. Man. I suck."

"What do you care what Joey thinks anyway?" asked Nick, checking Joey's abandoned drink to see if there was anything left in it. "He doesn't, but ... it's no big deal."

"I figured you knew already!" Mandy defended herself. "You saw him singing already today. It just makes sense. Don't be intimidated by him or anything, Justin, I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"I just don't want people to think I'm a dork," Justin said defensively. Even though Mandy had given him a better excuse. "I don't care what he thinks, it's just. He seems cool and people like him and I don't want to screw up, is all. Do we have to do solos our first day?"

"Oh god no," said Nick with a little laugh. "Just relax about it, man. You're so uptight sometimes. It's gonna be a good time."

"You didn't screw up anything," Mandy promised him. "He ... liked you, I think. I'm sure you'll get along fine. You liked him too, didn't you?"

"He seems cool," Justin repeated, hoping it didn't sound strangled. He could go on for an hour about the how muches and whys of him liking Joey. "Well, whatever, he's got a million friends; he'll forget me tomorrow. Plus, I have you guys. So what time is chorus? And what time's the dance, Friday?"

"It's after class," said Mandy, as Nick cleared their table. "For about two hours or so, depending on what we do. And the dance ... you should pick me up at eight again, for that, I think. Okay?"

"He will, Mandy, he's a gentleman, apparently. Now come on." Nick led them over to the arcade, and everything that had happened over pizza was left behind, at least for the moment.

* * *

Justin checked the number of the room twice, and cursed under his breath that Nick had obviously forgotten to meet him at his locker like he promised. And forgotten to tell Mandy, too, so now he was stuck walking into chorus practice by himself.

He glanced around to make sure they weren't saving him a seat anywhere, but he didn't even *see* them, so he just snagged one by the door. And then, as an afterthought, through his bag on the seat next to him to save it.

He did see Joey come in, talking to someone who wasn't JC. He looked in Justin's direction for only a second, but when he did he gave him a bright, friendly smile that was obviously just for him. It Joey had come over, Justin would have given him the saved seat in a second, but he didn't -- he and his friend ended up a few seats behind him.

"Fuck, sorry," said Nick as he flew into the seat next to Justin, looking flushed and exhausted. "Sorry sorry sorry."

"It's okay," Justin said, but he knew he looked a little pissy. "What happened? Where's Mandy?" He looked back at the door again and just found himself watching Joey out of the corner of his eye.

"Detention," said Nick regretfully, pressing his fingers against his cheeks as though that would cool them. "She got caught cutting history this morning. I was just talking to her; she said to tell you to call her tonight. Do you have her number?"

"Yeah, she gave it to me at Sam's the other night." He blinked at Nick. "Wow, cutting class ... does she do that a lot? she seems so sweet. Will she still be allowed to go to the dance tomorrow?" He'd already washed the car in preparation, and ordered the flowers.

"Oh yeah, sure," said Nick dismissively. "It's no big thing. She just slept in this morning, she says, and decided not to bother to make it for the last half of class. Not for history, anyway. Definitely not her favorite class. Anyway, she got caught when she stopped for a game at Sam's on her way in. She says she's sorry she's not here, though, for your first time."

"Oh, that's sweet," Justin said, smiling a little, finally. "But, well. Fewer people to embarrass myself in front of, I guess. At least this way she won't decide she doesn't want to be my date tomorrow, or something like that."

"You aren't going to *embarrass* yourself," scoffed Nick, like the thought was inconceivable. "I doubt you'd even be here if you thought you were gonna. Dude, what happened to being all excited about this, like you were yesterday?"

"I guess I didn't realize it was so ... big," he said weakly, not comfortable with the half-truth. "I just like to sing for fun, and other people take it seriously. Take it seriously like I take basketball, or something. Don't you ever get stage fright?"

Nick shrugged a little bit. "Yeah, sure," he said, "but then it's such a rush, too, like getting high. Plus ... I mean, I know I'm not the best, but I'm pretty good. I've been doing this for years. But hey, don't worry about that ... I mean, I'm sure you'll do fine. No one's gonna laugh or anything."

Justin really only cared about not making a fool of himself in front of *one* person, but he was already here. And that person had seenhim. "Thanks," he sighed. "I'll be cool. I guess I just kind of wish there'd been play practice tonight, too."

"Oh, they never schedule them together, if they can help it," said Nick, shaking his head and obviously missing what Justin meant by that. "Does it really seem like a lot of people? Cause it's not. When we perform, there's lots more."

"Great," Justin muttered, slinking down in his seat a little more. "And you guys all seem so close, too. How long have you been going to school together?" He really hated being the new kid when everyone knew everyone. Which still happened, even here in Orlando.

"Well, me and Mandy have known each other forever," said Nick with a grin and a shake of his head. "I should tell you all the embarassing stories I know about her. Anyway ... everyone else, you just kinda meet along the way. Like, I know Joey because Mandy had that crush on him and went out of her way to meet him. And I know JC because of Joey. And AJ I met when he moved here. And there are tons of people in here I don't even know at *all*."

"I had to leave good friends," Justin admitted, thinking of Chris and whether he could call him tonight. "That I knew forever too, it seems like. But that Mandy ... she's so funny! she fell hard for Joey, I guess. You can still tell, the way she talks about him. I'm still trying to figure out what the attraction is." For her *and* himself, actually.

"You don't see it?" said Nick curiously. "He just ... he usually draws people to him. I figured you were feeling it last night, at Sam's, the way you guys were talking." He fell silent for a moment, looking thoughtful. "It must've been hard, leaving your friends behind like that. But there are good people here, too, at least. Even if they're a little different from what you're used to."

"No, no, there are!" Justin said, resting his hand on Nick's forearm and then pulling it back when he realized what he'd done. "I mean. I really like everyone I've met, a lot. Well, except maybe JC. And Joey ... no, I see what you're saying. I get it. I just don't get *him* yet, you know? I can't read him."

"Ah," said Nick, not looking the slightest bit uncomfortable with the way Justin had touched him. "Yeah, I get that. And JC ... he just looks out for Joey, you know? Like, he thinks Joey is too open, or something, but he can't do anything about that so he just looks out for him. So yeah, he gets on my nerves and all, but don't be too hard on him."

"He's not Joey's *dad*," Justin protested, then lowered his voice when he realized that could have been overheard. "And anyway. What's he protecting him from? Joey seems to have the whole school wrapped around his finger." And Justin, more than halfway there too.

"Nothing, nevermind," said Nick, looking back over his shoulder to where Joey and his friend were still sitting behind him. "Huh, he's not here today, though. Maybe he had to work. Anyway ... aren't you protective of your friends, too? I bet you are."

"No, I am, I totally am," Justin said, getting a little frustrated with the way Nick and Mandy kept shutting him out. Even though he understood they had no reason to trust him. *Something* was up with Joey, and Justin would be itching to know what it was even if he wasn't such a huge crush. "And I liked JC fine, he just ... looked at me funny."

Nick frowned and glanced back at Joey again. "Funny how?" he asked. "When did he look at you funny? Last night, you mean? Cause I didn't see ... "

"Stop turning around," Justin murmured. "And yeah, last night. You really didn't notice? He kept ... I don't know. Scrutinizing, or something. Although I *was* being a dork, so I shouldn't be surprised."

"Oh, you were not being a dork," said Nick, dismissing that notion yet again. "You were cool. He was probably just, you know, sizing you up. Trying to figure you out, just like you're trying to figure *them* out. I bet you gave them some funny looks too."

Justin felt himself blush at the types of looks he knew he'd given Joey, at least, and turned around a little himself to hide it from Nick. "Well, there's not much to size up," he mumbled. "Almost 16, new kid in school, curly hair, likes basketball and dancing. I'm an open book."

"No one's an open book," said Nick, shaking his head. "Or even if you are, you gotta expect people to look close to read what's written on the page, you know? *I* don't know everything about you and I've known you, like, *weeks* now." He gave Justin a grin and elbowed him. "You worry too much."

"I do," Justin mumbled, then sank deeper into his seat when the director came in. Nick was right about one thing, though. He'd have to start opening up himself if he expected other people to do the same. He'd tell Mandy, and Nick, and AJ maybe, about Tennessee. About Chris, maybe. Sooner or later, about Trace.

* * *

"Hey, hey Justin, wait!"

Justin recognized the voice behind him, and practically froze as soon as he heard it. Until Nick elbowed him, anyway, and leaned in to his ear to call him a dork.

Joey caught up quickly, and rested a hand on Justin's shoulder to turn him around. "You aren't in a hurry or anything, are you?"

"Um," Justin said, glancing at Nick. "No, I was just going home to ... no." He stood very still, wondering how long Joey would keep touching him, and if the rest of his body was as warm and open as his hand ... "Um. How are you, Joey?"

"Good, good," he said quickly. "Listen. Do you act? At all? Because that voice ... I had no idea, Justin. It's too late to try out for any lead parts, but we could at least use you for the chorus in the musical. If you're interested. Unlike this guy." He knocked Nick lightly on the head, even as he kept looking intensely at Justin.

Justin felt his jaw drop a little. "I wasn't ... I'm not that good," he said, and he meant it ... he always felt like his voice was too nasal, or something. He turned to Nick. "Why aren't ... why didn't you do it? the play?"

"I hate acting," said Nick with a shrug. "I really suck at it. You were good, though. With some more training, you could be *really* good, I think. Right, Joey?"

"Yeah, absolutely," said Joey with conviction, finally letting go of Justin's shoulder. "That's a seriously strong voice you've got on you. I can't believe you've never really sung before. So are you? Interested?"

Justin hated how easily he blushed, with pleasure. It wasn't bad the times he'd gotten to make out with someone, but for something like this ...

He scratched his head. "When's the play? because I can't if it overlaps with basketball tryouts. And. And y'all have already been practicing, I'd need extra help ... "

"It's not until December," Joey told him enthusiastically. " And if you're in the chorus you don't have any lines or solos or anything, so it'll be easy to catch up with everyone else. And, oh, of course I'll help you, too, if you need me to. If you want." He looked at his watch and then up at Justin again. "The next rehearsal is on Monday, and I know you know where it is, so if you want to do it you can just ...be there. Yeah?"

Justin barely registered the 'I know you know where it is' comment, his brain overwhelmed with visions of Joey helping him practice. In private, maybe. "You really want me that bad?" he said, not even apologizing to himself for the dual meaning. "I mean, you have to have enough people, and if it's just the chorus it doesn't really matter how good I am, right ... ?"

"Yeah, I want you that bad," said Joey, grinning just the slightest little bit. "If you're in the chorus for this one, then maybe you'll want to try out for a lead for the next one. I mean, and plus, it's training. And a voice like yours should be heard, Justin."

"I wouldn't try out for your part," Justin said quickly, then remembered Nick was there watching them. He raised an eyebrow at him, a silent question about whether he thought he should do it. It would be fun, a way to get involved ... a way to be around Joey more often.

Nick shrugged again, practically his defining gesture, "I'd go see you," was all he really said. "Mandy'd sure as hell be excited for you. If it's something you wanna do ... just go for it, man."

"I gotta go," said Joey regretfully, looking at his watch. "Just be there, Justin, I promise you won't regret it."

"But," Justin said, reaching out to take Joey's elbow. To make him wait, just for a second. "You promise you'll help me? figure out what I'm doing?" Brown, brown brown eyes. He loved them. And ignored how he could have meant so many things by that, too.

"I promise to help you," said Joey, looking quite serious as he said it. He looked like he meant it in all the ways Justin could have possibly wanted him to. "You just have to ask. I won't abandon you in the middle of a bunch of stuff you don't understand." Then he broke into another smile. "It'll be fun. Trust me. I'll see you there?"

"Probably," Justin said, slowly smiling back. "Probably, okay?" He didn't let go, either, until Joey glanced down at his hand. "It was really cool of you to ask. I'm glad I did okay today."

"You did better than okay," Joey promised him. "I gotta run now, though. Seriously. So see you later?" When he finally backed up a step and turned around, he *did* actually run down the hall until he was out of sight.

"See?" said Nick once he was gone. "I *told* you you worried too much. You did great."

"I don't even know what he heard," Justin said, shaking his head, still a little in denial and shock, maybe. "Like, why he wants me. But if you think it's cool ... hell, I'll try it."

"It's cool," said Nick, nodding his head at him. "If you think you'll like it, you should totally go for it. I think ... I think you're about to be exposed to a whole different kind of person than you hung out with in Tennessee. If you haven't been already."

* * *

Justin caught his breath after dancing with Christina, some other girl, and then Christina all over again for a row of fast songs. Once a ballad came on, he found Mandy across the gym talking to AJ, and slipped up behind her with a hand on her bare back. "Dance with me?" he murmured, giving AJ a friendly smile from over her shoulder.

She turned around to face him, smiling sweetly. "About time you remembered you were my date," she said, reaching out to take his hand. "I like this song." Then she looked back over her shoulder at AJ. "Your turn to get the drinks," she told him. "We'll be back in a bit." He nodded at her, then at Justin, and melted away.

"I thought we were all dates," he teased gently, leading her back onto the floor and wrapping his arms around her back the way his mom taught him. "Am I being that bad, really?" He was just having a good time. Every time he turned around another girl wanted to dance. As long as they didn't talk, he was fine.

She shook her head a little, his hands resting lightly against the back of his neck. "You've made a lot of new friends," she said softly. "I do like to dance, too, though. So ... did you happen to see where Nick went?"

"No," he admitted, although if he had to guess it was around back to sneak a cigarette. "I'm sorry, Mandy ... I won't dance with another girl the rest of the night, promise." He gave her one of his best smiles and a quick peck on her forehead. "And I've told you eight times at least, but you look gorgeous."

She laughed softly and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. "Well, I won't ask *that* much of you, since it's such a hardship," she teased. "Next time we go out, though, we aren't inviting the other girls along. Are you having a good time?"

"I am," he said, spinning them slowly. "Haven't danced since I've been here; it's fun. And it's nice to hang out with you guys and see everyone dressed up, and. Yes." He let one hand slide up over the bare skin of her back, exposed by her dress. "You?"

"I like being told I look gorgeous," she confessed, smiling at him. "And I love that I have to look up at you. You have *no* idea how rare that is for me. That's why you need to dance with me more often. Especially since Nick's probably off behind the gym with Howie and Joey ... " She looked around briefly. "Is busy, I guess."

"JC's tall," Justin pointed out, but looking around, he didn't see him either. "And Joey's here? I don't think I've seen him yet." He knew he hadn't, actually, but there was no way to play that off casually.

"No, neither have I," she said, looking unconcerned by that. "Maybe he decided not to come. He doesn't always come to stuff like this, even though he likes to dance. Or maybe he's just gonna be late, like always."

"Makes an entrance?" Justin smiled to himself. "I can see that. So isn't that so weird, about him finding Nick and me after choir to ask me to join the musical? it was so random. And he was in such a rush, too, for whatever reason."

"Maybe he just had someplace to be, Justin," she said reasonably. "And I heard you were really good; I'm sorry I had to miss it. What are you so suspicious about, anyway? Do you think he was acting ... weird, or something?" She seemed to stiffen a little bit, as she asked, but it was so little it might have been Justin's imagination.

"I didn't think I was good enough to chase down, that's for sure," Justin said. "And he wasn't acting weird, I just ... didn't expect it. I guess I still kind of feel like the new kid's supposed to get ignored for the first month or so."

"That's just a waste of time," she said, resting her head against him again. "I don't know what it was like, where you come from, but there are always new kids here. Even halfway through the year and stuff. Maybe he just needed to catch up with you then because he knew he might not have another chance. Maybe you *were* that good."

Justin touched the back of her hair, then squirmed a little to get Mandy to look at him again. He liked her, liked dancing with her, but that was getting -- almost too intimate. He didn't want to lead her on, even if he wasn't ready to explain why. "That's sweet," he murmured, attempting a smile when she met his eyes.

She smiled back at him and her eyes closed a little and for a second, just a second, it looked like she was going to kiss him, then suddenly she turned her head as someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Nick," she said, sounding a little less than enthusiastic but still smiling at him. "Where've you been."

"Come with me," he said to both of them, jerking his head toward the emergency exit, which had been propped open to let out some of the heat.

Justin frowned a little, but followed as easily as Mandy did -- whatever Nick wanted, it had certainly saved him from an uncomfortable moment that it looked like he *would* have to address, sooner or later. "What's up?" he said, shrugging off his jacket to wrap around Mandy's bare shoulders when they stepped into the night air.

"Around the corner," he said, gesturing into the semi-darkness ahead of him. There were too many lights around for it to ever get truly dark there, and they found their way easily. Around the corner, sitting on the ground, were Joey and JC, and what looked to be JC's date, a friendly-looking brunette who was half in his lap. JC was busy looking out while Joey rolled a joint.

Joey looked up and met Justin's eyes and smiled a little. "I hooked up before we came over here," he said, explaining. "This guy my brother knows. You guys want?"

Justin hesitated a little, but when he saw that Mandy and Nick were already making themselves comfortable, he returned Joey's smile. "I didn't even know you were here," he said. "Um, you guys. Hi."

JC waved distractedly, the other hand slipping up under his date's hem, and Justin was at least glad he wouldn't be scrutnized by him that night. He was nervous enough. He'd never done this.

"Just got here," said Joey as he twisted the ends. "Had an errand to run. Obviously. When we ran into Nick out here, well, I figured we should share the wealth." As Justin watched, he dug a lighter out of his pocket.

"Justin was hoping you were going to make a grand entrance," Mandy teased as she rested a hand against the back of Justin's neck again, just lightly.

"Oh?" said Joey, raising an eyebrow at him with amused curiosity.

He couldn't protest without looking like a dork, so he tried his best to play it off. "Sure," he grinned, crouching down next to JC. "Sunglasses at night, hookers on each arm? That sounds like you."

Joey laughed halfway thorugh lighting and had to drop the lighter. "Right!" he said, like it was the most preposterous thing. "What an image, though. Can you just imagine? What do you think, Jace, you think I should try that next time? See what people do?"

JC yawned when he lifted his mouth from the girl's neck, apparently unconcerned about introducing her to anyone. Or to Justin, at least, if Mandy and Nick knew her. "Yeah, you try that," he murmured, glancing back at Justin. "Get yourself a couple of ... whatsit? Amazons."

Justin smiled bigger, not caring if they were making fun of that ... at least he didn't have to explain why he'd noticed in the first place.

Joey actually managed to get the joint lit this time, even as he nodded his head, taking his time with it before offering it to Justin. A moment later he exhaled slowly, a trickle of smoke rising up from his lips. He raised his eyebrows.

"Go ahead, Justin," said Mandy encouragingly. "If I know Joey, there's plenty."

"No, y'all go ahead," he said, gesturing at Nick, and Mandy, and even JC. Who seemed out of it already. "Ladies first." He raised his thumb to his mouth and started chewing on his nail; he was willing to do this, but not when everyone was focused on him.

Joey shrugged and offered it to Mandy instead, who didn't hesitate before taking it. Justin watched her carefully.

"So, you having a good time with Mandy?" asked Joey a moment later, slumping against the outside wall of the gym and watching him.

"Of course," Justin said, not quite sure what Joey expected him to say with her right there. Not quite sure what he expected him to say, period. "We've had a great time. Jealous fits and all, right?" He winked at her.

She winked back as she passed the joint on to Nick, who looked a bit *too* eager. "He danced with Christina," she said, just a beat behind the normal flow of conversation. "A *lot*. That girl is shameless."

Joey laughed again, shaking his head. "Can you believe she still hits on *me* when there's no one else around? I mean, come on, take a hint already! Or not even a hint -- I flat out *told* her. She *is* shameless."

"She still hits on Nick, too, and he said he'd already gotten with her," Justin added, trying to contribute something that wouldn't just be another example of having to admit that he thought Christina was nice.

"Yeah, well, at least she knows there's a hope in hell, there," snickered Joey, closing his eyes for a just a second, causing a brief but noticeable lull in the conversation. "At least Nick likes girls."

As he was talking, Nick handed the joint over to Justin. Or tried to.

Justin dropped it. Looked over in -- not surprise, not really, since it confirmed what he thought he knew, but ... well, yeah. In surprise.

"Shit, sorry," he blurted, bending over to pick it up off the ground and try to dust it off. Then, absolutely clueless about what to say, took a bigger drag off it than he should have. And started coughing.

"Jesus, Joey, pick your moment," said Nick, laughing and helping him out, taking the joint back and passing it to JC before patting him carefully on the back. "Just breathe, you're fine," he murmured to him.

When Justin looked up, Mandy was giggling softly, and maybe a bit nervously, and JC was giving Justin the most frankly wary look that Justin had ever gotten from him. Joey just seemed to be waiting.

He coughed again weakly, then tried a smile. "NIck likes girls?" he said. "Seriously, warn a guy before you surprise him like that." He coughed again, and avoided looking at JC completely. Having it confirmed that Joey was gay was ... well. Exciting. But nothing he was going to react with any shock to. Not after the abruptness of hearing it, at least. Because it *wasn't* a shock.

"Oh, fuck you," laughed Nick, smacking him on the shoulder and refusing to help him anymore. "You know damn well I do."

Joey was just about killing himself laughing, and Mandy was grinning at him. "And *you* were worried about how he would react," she said, turning to Nick. "See? I knew all along."

"*I* was worried?" said Nick, pointing an insistent finger at her. "No, no, *you* were worried, girlie."

"Well, nice to know I was the subject of such heated debate," he said, exhaling a little. "You really shouldn't have worried, though. I'm cool."

JC snorted, and all three of them turned to look at him. He raised his hand -- the one not up his girl's dress -- defensively. "What? You're cool. Great. Just. Keep *being* cool, got me?"

"Hey, relax, tiger," said Joey now that he'd recovered. "He's obviously not flipping out on me here. And you know I can look out for myself anyway."

"So are you gonna be passing that thing back or what?" said Mandy, master of awkwardly changing the subject, reaching out her hand towards JC. As she did, she rested her other hand on Justin's knee.

JC smirked -- not meanly, and not at Mandy, but at Justin -- when he handed it over. After not hiding a long glance at the contact between the two of them.

It made Justin a little pissed, and ... he'd have to say something sooner or later anyway. "No, I mean I'm *cool*," he repeated, emphasizing it a little differently. And looking studiously down at his tie.

Joey was maybe the only one to really make something of that. Nick -- well, Justin was already used to him not really picking up on subtle stuff, and JC -- Justin couldn't read his expression at all. It was Joey who gently took Mandy's arm and pulled her away, closer to him, taking the joint from her after she was done and pinching it out with two fingers.

"What?" she said, looking from Joey to Justin and back again. "God, Joey, you *know* I can handle more than that ... "

"Uh, right," Justin said, getting unsteadily to his feet again. Lightheaded. It was ... he didn't know what to expect, maybe, but Mandy *was* Joey's friend, and maybe he was upset with Justin for leading her on? Even though he'd tried so hard not to? Or maybe it just wasn't something Joey felt deserved a reaction. Either way, Justin felt distinctly uncomfortable. "I think ... I'll let you guys finish, or whatever. I'm not ... smoking's not my thing, I think."

"We're finished," Joey told him with a gentleness that Justin hadn't really heard from him before. "You can sit down, Justin, no one's chasing you away." Mandy still looked confused as Joey tugged her a little closer to himself and put an arm around her shoulders. "He's family, honey," he explained, giving her a squeeze. "Sorry."

It took her all of half a second to understand when Joey put it *that* way. "Oh, sheesh," she said, rolling her eyes and letting out a short laugh. "God. Story of my life! You coulda just said, Justin ... I must've been making a total fool of myself here ... "

"That might be kinda my fault," admitted Nick, and Justin realized he might've underestimated Nick's grasp of the situation. Or maybe pot just made him smart. "I know, you *said* you just wanted to go with Mandy to the dance as friends ... "he said, looking up at Justin, "but maybe I didn't stress that to her quite enough. Or at all. I'm sorry -- I thought you'd be good together."

"Nick, you *ass*," she said, smacking his arm and laughed again even as she stared at her knees and didn't meet anyone's eyes."I'm bad enough at dating without you around to mess it up."

Justin let himself smile, slowly, even with JC still watching him, his girlfriend long since passed out on his shoulder. Maybe they were both drunk.

He turned to Mandy, first, echoing what Joey had called her without even realizing he'd done it. "Oh, honey, it's not ... I don't think you're bad at dating, and I *do* think you're gorgeous, and. You didn't make a fool out of yourself. I promise. *Christina*, on the other hand ... " He trailed off, hoping even a weak joke like that would get her to look at him.

Mandy laughed, but he thought he heard her sniffle a little bit, too. "I sure know how to pick 'em, though, don't I? Next thing, you guys are gonna tell me Tom Cruise is gay, too, or something." Joey and Justin were both silent. "Oh, *don't*," she said, looking up. "I just don't wand to hear it, okay?" And she finally gave Justin a smile. "It's cool," she said softly. "You could've just said."

"No matter what kind of magnificent example I set," said Joey, rocking her a little bit, keeping her smiling. "It's not that easy to just say. You okay, Justin?"

Justin blinked over at him for the first time since he figured he was supposed to leave. "I'm ... fine," he said, surprised Joey'd asked. "Why? I'm ... " He took a deep breath and turned back to Mandy, holding out his arms shyly. "Okay, I'm sorry I didn't say right away. But I didn't lie, and I didn't ... know you guys that well yet, and ... you didn't trust me, either."

"Yeah," she admitted, nodding her head slowly and inching back toward him. "Yeah, well, we were doing *everything* we could, to make sure you were cool first. I mean ... your old school, it didn't sound like it would be cool. You know?"

"Yeah, we suck, we know," interrupted Nick. "But it's all good now, right?"

Joey wasn't saying much, but he was watching Justin.

Justin let himself grin at Nick -- he was more amused than anything about him saying he thought Justin'd be good with Mandy -- before giving Mandy an even more encouraging smile. "C'mon, babe," he said, trying to coax her closer. "Everything's okay. If you're not mad, everything's okay."

"Nobody's mad,' Joey assured him as Mandy curled up against Justin's side with a soft sigh. "Nobody *will* be mad. You'll still have to dance with Mandy, though -- there aren't many of us who can."

"Shut up," she murmured, smiling to herself contentedly. "You all suck."

Justin watched Nick watch Mandy for a minute before saying anything. "Yeah, but you love us anyway," he said finally. "Joey, you saving the rest of that for after?"

"Yeah," said Joey, patting his pocket. "I think we've all had plenty."

JC snorted again, and Justin had had enough. Wrapping his arm more protectively around Mandy, even though arguably she was better friends with JC than him, he shot him a glare. "Dude, what?" he said. "I know you've just been waiting for me to come clean about this." That was a guess, actually, but not a huge leap. "I'm still, what, not cool enough to hang out with y'all?"

"Chill," JC laughed, his movement as he shifted waking up the girl on his lap when he darted a look at Joey. He still wasn't quite crossing the line to nasty, but he wasn't cutting Justin any slack, either.

"JC, not now," said Joey in a low voice. Justin wasn't even sure he was meant to hear, but he had and he couldn't ignore it. "We'll talk about this later."

"I'm about ready for more dancing," said Nick, taking his turn to be the one to break up the tension. He stood up and stretched broadly. "I've been out here long enough. Anyone coming with me?"

"Will we?" JC seemed to challenge Joey, his voice low too. "Will we, this time?"

Justin gave Mandy another quick kiss, this time on her cheek, and turned her so she was walking between him and Nick. "Thanks, guys," he said, ready to dance again too, and not think, and most of all, be out from Joey and JC's scrutiny. "For the, um, stuff. It was nice to see you again." He let Mandy slip out from under his arm, though, and didn't quite follow right away ... all the rest of him wanting to see if Joey would say *anything*.

"You have the worst timing of anyone I know," said Joey quietly to JC, standing up himself and seeming not quite aware that Justin was lingering. "I'm not going to fuck this up, JC. And he's not gonna fuck *me* up. And once in a while, you can stop worrying about it so much."

"Maybe," JC said, his own voice getting softer but no less emphatic. "If you ever figure out that you don't need anyone else to fuck you up, that you do it just fine by ... "

He trailed off, and Justin shrank back from both of their gazes. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I just was going to ... nevermind."

"Don't worry about it," said Joey. "I'm right behind you. JC ... I think you oughta get your date home. I'll see you later, man." And he turned his back on him, the first time Justin had ever seen him do something like that.

Justin watched, watched to see if JC was surprised by that, or angry. But he just seemed to sigh in resignation and shake it off without another look at Joey *or* Justin. Justin didn't get the two of them.

"I *am* sorry," he mumbled again, following Joey following Nick and Mandy. "For interrupting, or." He didn't know what to say.

"Just ... don't worry about it," said Joey, looking distracted. "It's just a thing. There's a lot of history there, between me and JC. That probably didn't even make any sense to you. I didn't want to talk about it with him right then anyway. So seriously, you're cool with everything?"

"What's there not to be cool with?" Justin asked, knowing he sounded innocent, maybe, but being completely honest. He never seemed to get Joey's full attention anyway, so he wasn't sure it mattered what he said. "I've had some time to get used to me, and I thought I already figured you out, so."

"You ever told anyone before?" asked Joey, his tone becoming conversational as he fell into step next to Justin. "Back where you come from, or anything?"

"Sure," Justin said. "And I would have told you guys, too -- well, Nick and Mandy, at least -- on my own time, too, if Mandy hadn't ... well. You saw. It's better to stop that before it starts and all. Which ... " he snuck a sideways look at Joey, "apparently you know."

Joey winced a little bit, then nodded. "I'm not exactly out," he said, "but it's a pretty open secret around school. She was new last year and didn't know and ... yeah. It was awkward. She's such a sweet girl, though, she really is. I'm glad I got to know her. We probably wouldn't even have met, if it hadn't happened."

"She *is* sweet," Justin agreed, realizing she still had his suit jacket. "She's beautiful, too, and it can't be too long before every other guy is chasing after her." He wondered briefly how Nick would handle *that*. "Anyway, look. I *am* cool. I wouldn't say anything, and they ... they didn't even hint, really. About you, I mean. I just knew."

"Yeah," said Joey, giving him a sideways look and grinning. "That kinda happens, doesn't it? I kinda knew you knew. And I bet you knew I kinda knew about you, too. Right?" He nodded his head, even before Justin answered. "I think you're gonna like it here. This school. And we're still on for Monday, right?"

Justin blinked before he could even remember what Joey was talking about. "Oh, right. Monday. Sure," he said. Inside, though, his chest kind of hurt. No matter how he'd wanted to interpret what Joey had said to JC, nothing Joey was saying to Justin implied any interest beyond friends. Not that he was going to give up until he got rejected. He must have sighed a little.

"You're not looking forward to it?" asked Joey, pausing when they were still a short distance from the door. "I didn't mean to push you or anything, Justin, but you *are* really good, and ... I'd really like to see you there. We could have a lot of fun."

"You weren't pushing me," Justin said softly, stopping himself just a little farther from the gym than Joey was. "You're not pushing me. You're ... you won't be able to make me do something I don't want, Joey." It was maybe the first time he'd said his name to him, and it felt ... something ... on his tongue, when he did. It wasn't the first time what he sound could be taken a million ways, though.

Joey paused, and seemed to size him up a little. "Good," he said softly, then. "I wouldn't want to be able to do that. I'm not into that at all. So ... did you want to go in, or stay out here for a little bit?"

Justin hadn't even realized he had an option, and glanced over his shoulder to see if JC was still around. He had left, though, and so when Justin turned back to Joey, he chewed on his lip for a split-second. Even at fifteen, knowing well how wet and full it looked when he stopped. "What would we do?" he asked innocently.

Joey faltered for just a second before going on. "Talk?" he suggested. "Smoke, if you want? I'm just not in any hurry ... I don't have a dater or anything to get back to. And I'm only just starting to get to know you."

"Maybe for a few minutes," Justin agreed, stepping back to lounge against the wall. "'Cause Mandy, and all. But maybe no more ... no more weed. For me, at least. Is that okay? You can." He stretched a little and then loosened his tie.

"No, that's cool," said Joey, glancing at the door and shoving his hand in his pocket. Then he leaned against the well next to Justin and gave him a bit of a smirk. "Probably wasn't the best circumstances for your first time, huh? Sorry about that. We'll make it better next time."

Justin just smirked back. "Who said there'd be one?" he asked, meeting Joey's eyes. "I sing, I play sports ... it's not something I thought I'd get into." He actually hadn't ever had a problem saying no to peer pressure. Joey would find soon enough that Justin didn't do anything he didn't want to do.

Joey shrugged and grinned at him and didn't seem too concerned about it. "Well, next time you watch us then," he said, though Justin noticed he didn't light up himself now. "So. You have a boyfriend, or anything?"

"No," Justin admitted, when he had a chance to compose himself after the directness of the question. He started to bite his lip again and this time it wasn't because of how it would look. "I kind of want one. I think I'd be a good boyfriend." He wouldn't -- would *not* -- ask Joey in return. Not until he knew he could do it without sounding eager.

"You've been a good boyfriend to Mandy and you weren't even going out," said Joey with a laugh. "It's a lot more fun when you get something out of it, though. I think JC doesn't want me to go out with *anyone*, ever. He's a fucking pit bull."

Justin laughed out loud at Joey's bluntness, and then at the image. "He's kind of ... yeah," Justin agreed. "Like, he knows he's not your dad, right? What's his deal?" He really wanted to know whether he had to worry about winning JC over at the same time as Joey. Or even ... even competing with him. Although Justin wasn't quite sure he thought that was what was going on there.

"There's just ... history," said Joey again, like he didn't know how to explain. "There's stuff that's happened, since I more or less came out. He doesn't trust me to look out for myself. He's probably gonna drop his girlfriend off at home and come right back here, to check up on me. I feel for his kids, when he has them, I really do. Love the guy, but he could stand to back off a little."

"Well, he loves you too, I guess," Justin added awkwardly. "I mean, he obviously cares. I had a ... someone like that, back home. Back in Tennessee, I mean. That looked out for me. I liked it."

"Yeah?" said Joey, interested. "I bet he's nothing like JC, though. You still talk to him? That's gotta be rough, leaving someone like that behind."

"It was hard," Justin admitted, not exactly wanting to talk about Chris. "I talked to him last night, though. And ... actually told him about the play. He thought it was awesome." He gave Joey one of his brightest grins. "I'll totally do it, if you swear on ... swear on something that matters to you, that you'll help."

"Of course I'm gonna help," said Joey indignantly. "I said I would, didn't I? You actually think I'm gonna leave your side at all on Monday? Well, except when I have to, which I will. But you know what I mean."

"You'll stay with me?" Justin felt himself smiling without even meaning to. He hadn't even hoped for that. "Why are you being so nice?"

Joey looked away, looked down at his feet, and shrugged again. "Why wouldn't I be nice?" he said. "Don't I look like a nice guy?"

"You do, but," Justin said, gesturing with his hands. "You're busy, obviously. And, like, popular, and a senior. And I'm only a sophomore and a new kid and not all that interesting, or at least, I haven't been around you. So there's nice and then there's, like, sainthood and stuff."

"You're cute," Joey blurted out, still looking at his feet for a moment before finally lifting his head to meet Justin's eyes. "What? You're right, I'm not a saint. I can be hopelessly superficial sometimes. And as dorky as the next guy."

Justin felt his ears heat up, and he was the first one to look away. "Thanks," he stammered. "I mean, coming from you, that's ..." He didn't know what to say. He'd had a crush on this guy since the very second he saw him his first day of school, and here he was, saying Justin was cute. He knew Chris had given him tips on what to do. He just was damned if he could remember them. "Do *you* have a boyfriend, or anything?" he ultimately blurted. Probably not what Chris would have suggested.

"Ha!" said Joey, shaking his head. "No ... not in a while, really." He fiddled with something in his pocket, but didn't pull it out. "I don't really have the best track record there. Which I'm sure you already figured out."

"How would I know that," Justin muttered, ducking his head again. He was so stupid and young sometimes. "Mandy just said you didn't date at school much. Ever. Much."

"Well, 'cause I said before, about stuff that happened since I came out?" said Joey. "Actually, stuff that happened that just about *made* me come out. Once bitten twice shy, as they say. Well, and plus, it's school, you know? Not so many options, for dating. Have you ever?"

"Dated at school?" Justin asked. "I've never. I mean. Never really had a real boyfriend. Like, I've *done* stuff, of course, but only once with someone I went to school with, and he was more a friend, and ... I'm drifting. What *did* happen? Can I ask?"

Joey grunted and made a face and dropped his eyes again. "Sure you can," he said slowly. "Are you sure you want to right now, though? I thought you wanted to get back in there, dance with Mandy and ... whatever else it was you wanted to do. It's not exactly a fun story."

He *did* want to, but that sounded very much like Joey didn't want him to. Not right then, at least. "Maybe I should," he murmured, pushing away from the wall and stumbling a little again. Stupid weed. "She was kind of mad at me dancing with other girls. But, um, Monday? Right?" *Please*? he knew his eyes said.

"She really liked you. Likes you," said Joey, glancing at the door. "It'll be different now. But treat her good anyway. So we could ... if you called this weekend, we could get together. Hang out. If you were interested."

"If I called you?" Justin echoed dumbly. "I don't have your number, and I ... oh." It occured to him he shouldn't be saying anything to make Joey revoke the offer. "Will JC take a hit out on me?" he tried to joke, swaying a little closer to where Joey was still leaning.

"No," said Joey slowly. "He may order surveillance, though. I'd dress with your curtains closed from now on, if I was you." He grinned at Justin and put a hand on his shoulder, jostling him just a little. "You still want my number?"

"Among other things," he said, before he could stop himself. His eyes widened, but with the rest of his expression he tried to play it off. A lazy smile, a head tilt. He held out his hand, palm up. "Got a pen, though?"

Joey had obviously taken in every word, though. And every nuance of his expression. He smiled slowly and touched Justin's hand with just his fingertips. "I don't," he confessed. "You got a good memory? Or should I get your number from Mandy or Nick, and do this proper?"

"Normally I do," Justin murmured, his eyes drifting shut. "Have a good memory, but tonight, I don't trust me. So maybe ask them. Or, or I could. Or you could, yeah." He closed his fingers over Joey's, on his palm.

"They have mine, too," said Joey, his voice dropping even more, almost to a whisper. "If you asked them for it. If you wanted to see me again."

"I ... " Justin started, then tripped a little as he stepped back. He wasn't going to mess this up by doing anything too fast. He liked Joey so much it hurt, even more with every minute he spent with him, and he wasn't going to blow it by acting like a horny kid and jumping him in the parking lot. Even if he did want to be the one to make the first move, whenever that happened. "I'll call you."

Joey smiled and let his hand drop. "I'll be waiting for it," he said, and from the sound of it, he really would be. "We should go in, then. See our friends."

"I'll let you dance with Mandy," offered Justin, even though he knew and Joey knew that she wasn't his to speak for. He grinned. "I can try and dance with Nick and traumatize him."

Joey laughed, and Justin could *see* his body relax back to what he was used to seeing. "I'd love to see that. You could also try to get Nick to dance with Mandy once in a while. *That's* always interesting, too."

"You mean they *have*?" Justin said, his mouth open. "I think, perhaps, between the two of us, maybe we can make that happen before the night's over." He tossed a grin at Joey over his shoulder and realized he didn't even feel like he had to make sure he followed.

* * *

"Nick, *stop*!" laughed Mandy, turning around to smack him as he started sliding one of her spaghetti straps down off her shoulder again, unable to keep from cackling wickedly to himself. "God, you're such a freak! Justin, make him stop ... "

"Nick, you had your chance," Justin accused, grinning and spinning Mandy around so his back was to Nick. "If you can't steal my date when I'm not even in the room, no way it's happening when I'm dancing with her." He looked down and smiled especially for Mandy, pleased when she smiled back. She really seemed okay with everything.

"I wasn't!," said Nick, still laughing, and as though it would prove anything he reached around and started pulling Justin's tie off. "I'm bored, and there's hardly anyone still here."

"Go play with Joey," giggled Mandy, reaching over Justin's shoulder to push at Nick's face.

"He's still here?" Justin asked, twisting his head a little to try and see. He would have thought he'd left long before. Right after they'd come back inside, maybe. At least to go smoke up again. "Huh."

"Right over there," she said, pointing into the dimness at the side of the room. "He's been watching us, ever since JC left again. These seniors," she added, shaking her head playfully. "Already too old to keep at it all night."

"I don't wanna play with Joey," said Nick, getting the tie off finally and hanging it sideways off his own head. "This is more fun."

"Huh," Justin said again, trying to remember if he'd done anything *too* immature with them in the past hour or so. He did roll his eyes and grab his tie off of Nick's head, yanking it down a little when he did so he stumbled into Mandy. She elbowed him back, and then all three of them were giggling, with Justin subtly trying to pick Joey out of the crowd.

"I think maybe it's time to go," she said, giggling so hard she was almost on her knees, "before they try to kick us out. Justin, you're good to drive?"

"Of course he is," snickered Nick, stumbling backward and struggling with the tie again, like it was some giant snake that had attacked him.

"*Give* that," Justin laughed, yanking it back. "And yeah, I'm fine. Totally fine." He felt fine. He'd been lightheaded before, but his head had cleared with more dancing. "You guys do that a lot?" He guided Mandy into Nick's arms and grabbed her purse and his jacket from the table, relived his keys were still in the pocket.

"Do what a lot?" she asked, fising her hair a little and for once not pushing Nick away, even though he was half-dancing with her still body. "You got everything?"

"We gonna say bye to Joey?" asked Nick, looking over to where he'd been. "Oh wait, he's gone, nevermind."

Justin jerked his head around again, and frowned, but since he'd never seen him in the first place he didn't even know where to look. He sighed. "I have everything," he assured them. "And ... I meant the weed," he hissed. "You seem pretty used to it. Both of you. Does everyone do that?"

"Oh!" said Mandy, looking surprised that that was even a deal. "We do sometimes. You know, once in a while. I usually don't have any of my own, but if someone else does ... you okay with that, Justin?"

"Oh. Yeah," Justin said, wrapping his arm around her waist and petting her shoulder with his other hand. "I just think I don't really want to. But I don't mind being around it, promise." He looked over his shoulder for Joey again, a little sadly. He would have said goodbye. "Need my jacket again?" he asked Mandy.

She shook her head as they headed out the door to the parking lot, waving at a few friends on the way out. "You don't have to, it doesn't matter. It's not like *everyone* does or anything. Where did we park again?"

"Over there," said Nick, waving his hand vaguely to one entire half of the parking lot. Justin headed for the other.

"Oh, hey, wait up," came Joey's voice from behind them, then the slap of feet on the pavement as he caught up. "Hey there."

"Hey," Justin said, stopping right away, knowing how big he was smiling. He kept his arm around Mandy but really? right then it felt like Joey was the only other person in the world. "I ... we thought you left. With JC?"

"What? No. I was ... talking a friend about some stuff. A guy in the show. And ... " He looked around the lot. "I thought you might need a ride."

"You waited because you thought we might need a ride? That's so *sweet*," said Nick, snickering.

"No, not you, Justin," said Joey, not even looking as he punched Nick on the shoulder.

Justin had never wanted to need a ride so much in his life. His ears felt all hot again, even with Nick still snickering, and he couldn't look up. "Um, I actually drove these guys. My mom's car's over there. So. But ... thank you. For thinking of me. Us."

"Oh," said Joey, for a moment looking as diappointed as Justin felt. "I forgot you drove. How old did you say you were again?"

"I can drive your car," offered Nick right away, making a grab for Justin's keys. "Bring it back tomorrow."

"Yeah, but in how many pieces?" snickered Mandy.

Justin held the keys away easily, using Mandy as a shield, but finally meeting Joey's eyes in one of those ways that felt like they were both trying to figure out as much from a single look at the other person as they could.

"Fifteen," he admitted. "But I'll be sixteen in January which is only three months, and I've been driving for, like, ever. My dad taught me."

"I *knew* we were driving illegally," said Nick, then cracked up.

"Hey, I'm in January, too," said Joey, lighting up a little. "Except I'll be eighteen. So ... well, I guess if you don't need a ride, I'll talk to you tomorrow, Justin?"

Justin nodded, biting his lip again, especially when he felt both Mandy and Nick looking at him. "Thanks," he said again, then shoved at Nick. "And don't you complain, man. This is a pretty sweet deal for you. Now your ma doesn't have to pick you up and see you acting like such a potser."

Nick looked vaguely stung for a moment, but then he grinned at him anyway. He did know a sweet deal when he had one, apparently.

"Don't forget to call me," said Joey, bringing it up yet again. "And don't let my loser brother give you a hard time, if he answers. Just tell him to fuck off and go get me, okay?"

"I can't tell him that!" Justin protested, sure his face was completely red at this point, both from Joey's attention and the embarrassment of having been sort of rude to his new friend. He was so flustered whenever Joey would so much as look at him, was all. "But I'll call. I promise. I wouldn't forget. Wait!"

He turned around and fumbled with his keys, getting the door to the wagon open and grabbing a pen out of the glove compartment. He held it out for Joey, and held out his other hand, palm-up, again.

"Here."

Joey grinned at him for a second before taking the pen, and Justin's wrist, and scrawling his number onto his hand. "But not before noon, because I'm a lazy fucker on the weekends," he added, handing the pen back without letting go of Justin's wrist. "I'm looking forward to it."

Justin held perfectly still so he *wouldn't* let go, too. "Me calling?" he teased softly, *knowing* Mandy and Nick were probably just staring by then. "I hope I don't disappoint you." He did look down to make sure he could read each of the numbers.

"I'm pretty sure you won't," said Joey easily, a lot more relaxed about this now than he had been outside the gym. Maybe because they were both obviously interested. "I'm pretty sure you couldn't." The other two were still quiet, for once just letting something play out instead of interrupting it.

He still hadn't let go of Justin's wrist, so Justin took a little chance and shifted closer. Not that he expected Joey to do anything, especially with an audience, but just ... to show how he felt. Especially in response to they way Joey sounded when he said those things.

Joey smiled at him, and it didn't seem to show anything other than pleasure at Justin being there. "You should go," he said, but not like he really wanted him to. "So should I. They're waiting. But I'll see you tomorrow." Justin wasn't sure when they'd gone from talking to seeing, but he didn't mind.

"Right," Justin nodded, standing there a second longer before reluctantly twisting his hand away and backing up to hold the door open for Mandy. He wanted to be kissed, by Joey, and badly; but once again, he could be thankful for having his friends there and making him take it slow just by their very presence.

"Good night, Joey," said Mandy softly as she got into the car. "I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah," agreed Nick, rocking on his feet a little and obviously wanting to move around a little, do something, but not daring. "See you next week, man."

"Good night, guys," said Joey, still smiling brightly, and Justin knew it was for him. "Good night, Justin."

"Good *night*," Justin replied, laughing as he walked around to the other side of the car. He was completely embarrassed now at the shameless way they both were making their mutual ... attraction, or what he *thought* was attraction, known to Nick and Mandy. And knowing he'd be hearing about it.

"So is that how it works?" asked Nick as soon as Justin got into the car and closed the door. "You get two guys who like guys together, and they automatically want each other? Huh. I never knew that ... "

Mandy laughed and reached back to smack him, but missed. "No, only the ones I fall for," she said with a quiet sigh.

'It's *never* how it works," Justin murmured, answering Nick seriously, rubbing his own head for a second before he started the car. He felt bad about Mandy -- and probably would feel worse, tomorrow -- but he couldn't really do anything. Or say anything. "And who said we want each other, anyway," he added weakly.

"Justin," said Mandy patiently, resting a hand on his knee. "We're your friends, right? You can be honest with us."

"If you're not, we just make up stories in our heads anyway," teased Nick. "Besides, it was *so* obvious, man. The Fatone charm strikes again, I see. You're so gone for him."

"I already was," he mumbled, pretending to concentrate hard on the road while he admitted everything. "I kind of. Noticed him. My first day here? I had no idea you guys knew him, though. And I had *no* idea that he'd ever ... notice ... me back. I *still* don't really believe it."

"Oh, really?" said Mandy, even sounding a little excited about it now. "That's kinda romantic. And oh ... oh ... a bunch of stuff is all making sense now! That's so cute, Justin."

"Wait, what?" said Nick. "I don't get it. What stuff?"

"Yeah, what stuff?" Justin echoed. "And it's not romantic, it's not ... it's not anything. All I know is that I'm supposed to call him and that JC hates me."

"Oh, JC, whatever," said Mandy dismissively. "He's just a freak about making sure Joey doesn't fuck up his life, is all. He doesn't hate you."

"He'd actually tell you if he hated you," said Nick. "Now what stuff? I hate it when you don't tell me stuff, Mandy, you know that ... "

"Just, like, randomly wanting to see Joey rehearse," Mandy reminded him. "Oh, and pretending not to know who Joey was even thought they'd already met. That was actually kinda smooth, Justin. Well done."

"Hey, there has to be more than one Joey in the school," Justin protested, but he knew he was busted and grinning like a dork. "I thought I was so obvious. *Especially* with you, Nick, 'cause I know I was being a total girl -- no offense, Mandy -- after choir."

"I thought you were just being weird," he said with a resigned groan. "How was *I* supposed to know you were into guys? I was still busy trying to figure out if you were, like, homophobic or not. You totally didn't let on at all. And, I mean, *Joey*?"

"What's wrong with Joey?" asked Mandy, swiveling in her seat to look at him again. "You're such a jerk sometimes, Carter. If you weren't my best friend I'd smack you."

"You smack me anyway," he said playfully. "Maybe I like it."

That was the first time Justin'd seen *Mandy* blush, and he took a second to study Nick in the rear-view mirror. "*Nothing's* wrong with Joey," he finally said, squeezing Mandy's knee back. "Absolutely nothing. He's gorgeous. Gorgeous, and actually *nice*." He bit his tongue before he really started gushing and embarrassed them.

She was grinning at him anyway, and looking terribly amused. "Yeah, he is," she agreed. "And he's not as tough and carefree as he lets on, either. I don't know if you know that about him yet or not but ... he's not."

"You're just saying that because of what that asshole did to him," protested Nick. "That was ages ago."

"So? He can still be hurt. Justin should know that."

"You guys know about that?" Justin asked in surprise. Not that he expected Joey would have offered to tell *him*, if there weren't people that knew. "What happened?" He wouldn't make the mistake of thinking Joey couldn't be hurt. He knew that even the strongest people he'd ever known could be hurt.

Mandy looked reluctant to answer, but Nick piped up right away. "It's not like it's a secret," he said. "Even though no one ever talks about it. See, there was this guy, that Joey was going with, right? And nobody ever really knew that either of them liked guys, or that they were together, or anything. Except they weren't really careful about where they did stuff and someone saw them and then the guy? That Joey was with? Like, he freaked out, and he told *everyone* that Joey had taken advantage of him, and shit. It was a mess."

"Nick," said Mandy warningly. "Don't you think you should have let Joey tell him about it himself?"

"I've heard Joey talk about it," Nick argued with her. "He never tells the whole story. And you're the one who said, Justin needs to know."

"Oh, man," Justin breathed, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "That sounds like something out of a movie. Poor Joey. The guy ... he doesn't still go here, does he? That's ... " He exhaled again. "I don't even know *what* to say." He was glad he knew, though. Now he wouldn't ask a stupid question, when Joey told him himself.

"No, no, he's long gone," Nick assured him. "This was, like, even before we went to this school, but I guess *everyone* knew about it. And everyone hears about it sooner or later, it's so infamous. It's why he's pretty much out, now. The whole thing came out in the end, that Joey hadn't done a damn thing to him that he didn't want, but it was a little too late to sweep the whole thing under the rug, by then."

"It turned out okay, mostly," Mandy added softly. "And I think Joey likes being as open as he is. Still, though. You know?

"I feel so bad for him," Justin said, still shaking his head. "So ... you think that's why JC's like he is, then? because of that? I would never, *never* do anything like that." A scary thing occured to him, though. "Oh. Oh, no."

"Oh no what?" asked Mandy immediately. "Justin, what's wrong?"

"Do you think," he started, then rubbed his eyes. "That, like. He won't want to ... um, want me, because of our ages, then? Like. If he already had people saying things about him, like, coercing somebody, then. He won't want to set himself up? Risk it?"

"Oh, honey," said Mandy gently. "No ... no he already likes you. It's obvious. He's not gonna just stop, because you're younger than he is. It's not like you're fourteen or something, you're way more mature than that. JC's probably gonna keep an eye on you, but he'd do that with *any*one. He doesn't think Joey is careful enough, about who he likes."

"So, um, he dates a lot, then?" Justin asked. Anything else they could talk about, so he didn't have to admit to the sinking feeling in his gut that no matter *what* Mandy said, there was a big difference between 15 and 17. "It seems kind of ... overreacting, otherwise."

"It's *hugely* overreacting," said Mandy, rolling his eyes. "It seriously is."

"But that's JC for you," put in Nick. "If you're good for Joey, though? I bet he'll be your best friend forever, just about. He was the only one, that stuck by Joey when the whole thing was happening. He just doesn't trust people so much now. You'd think it would be Joey, that wouldn't be trusting, right? But no. It's JC."

Justin still didn't understand the relationship there, and wasn't sure that Nick and Mandy did either. But that was one of his lesser worries. "Course, that's all assuming I get the *chance* to be good for Joey," Justin whispered. "He may not ... nothing might happen, you guys. You know that."

"Riiiiight," said Nick, like that wasn't a possibility at all. "We *saw* you guys together, Justin."

"I hope it works out for you," said Mandy softly. "Both you and Joey. Looks like you and me are the only single ones again, Nick," she called into the back seat."

"Yeah, what else is new?" snorted Nick. "You wanna cover over and play Playstation tomorrow?"

"You *guys*," Justin insisted, turning down Mandy's street. "I'm serious. I don't know what you think you saw, or anything, but we were just ... I don't even know. Flirting. Flirting doesn't mean dating. The two of *you* flirt more than that."

"Oh, whatever," scoffed Nick.

"Well, okay," said Mandy, though. "But he wants you to call, and he wants you two to get together, so it'll be at least one date if nothing else. Right? You're just psyching yourself out now. Go out with him. Have fun. Stop *worrying* so much."

"I'm not worried," Justin said, trying to convince himself, to get back in the frame of mind he'd been in before. He blushed again a little. "He did want me to call, didn't he? He, like, wouldn't let go of my hand."

"He totally wouldn't," Mandy assured him. "And he wanted to give you a ride home. He *stayed* so he could give you a ride home. You don't think there were, like, at least two parties he could have gone to instead? He likes you, Justin. He really does."

"He doesn't even know me," he argued, but deep down, he kind of thought Mandy was right. He'd done *something* to make Joey notice him, to want to *get* to know him. He was lucky. "You guys are the best, you know. You're so cool."

"No, I'm cool, Nick's a dork," teased Mandy. "You just had the misfortune of meeting him first."

"I'm right here!" said Nick indignantly. "I can hear you. He's right, we *are* cool."

"You're both cool," Justin repeated. Then felt his mouth stretch in to a grin when he pulled up to Mandy's driveway. "Think he'll want me to kiss him, tomorrow?"

Nick made a whoop sound from the back seat but Mandy just grinned at him before opening the car door. "I think he'll be disappointed if you don't," she said. "See how it goes, Justin. And then call and tell me all about it. You owe me *that* much at least. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed, throwing an empty can at Nick to get him to shut up. "Want me to walk you to the door, honey? I had such a good time with you tonight, I'm ... I'm just glad we're friends."

"i'll be fine," she assured him, starting to get out. "I had a great time too, Justin. Even with ... well. We've only known each other a few days, I hadn't fallen *that* hard, yet. We'll be fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," said Justin, managing to snag her hand before she got all the way out and kissing it softly. Then he turned around to look at Nick. "You getting up here, man?"

Nick lazily sat up and stumbled out of the car, getting back in the front seat. "Almost forgot," he said, then called out the window, "I call shotgun for next time! You got no more front seat privilege, girlie!" Mandy just turned around and blew him a kiss before slipping inside her front door.

Justin stared after her for a moment, then gave Nick an appraising look. "So why didn't *you* take her, again?" he asked. One of these days he'd get a straight answer. And not just because there was at least as much sexual tension there as there was between him and Joey. So far, at least.

"What, are you kidding me?" said Nick, staring at him and shaking his head. "She's my best friend, Justin. She deservest to have a *real* date, once in a while."

"And that's me?" Justin challenged him. "Even if you didn't know I was gay, I *told* you it would just be as friends. I mean. I got her flowers and stuff but the way the night went, I bet she'd've been a lot happier with you, man."

"Well, whatever," said Nick. "I mean, *I* didn't know it was gonna end up like that. I thought you might fall for her or something. Show her a good time. She's really great, you know? She's a lot of fun. It coulda happened ... if you weren't into guys."

He couldn't exactly fight with him about that. He'd told Nick up front he wasn't going to be interested but that wasn't Nick's fault if he didn't want to hear it. "She *is* great," he agreed. "So again, how come *you* can't show her a good time?" He remembered the way Nick had been playing with her dress, how comfortable he seemed, how flattered *she* seemed.

"Justin!" he laughed, shaking his head again. "Did you miss the part where she's my best friend? I've known her, like, forever. She used to put gum in my hair for fun."

"She's also got legs as long as yours, and dimples, and the sweetest smile," Justin pointed out, making his voice casual. "But you know, whatever. I'm no expert. Just the new kid on the block."

"Yeah, well, you've seen the way we are together," scoffed Nick. "Well ... those *are* some legs though. I had no idea, when we were kids, that she'd turn out like *that*."

"Nobody ever does," Justin smiled to himself, pulling up to *Nick's* house. "So. Want me to call and give you details tomorrow too, man?" he teased.

"Hell yeah," said Nick, giving him a lopsided grin. "Except the dirty bits, if there are any. I wanna know how things work out for you. Not that I think they won't."

"Really?" Justin said, a little surprised by all of that. By Nick wanting to hear, and by Nick thinking he and Joey might actually happen. "Well, you know him better than me, but ... it might just be fooling around, you know. I wasn't very subtle."

"Whatever it is, just let it happen," said Nick as he got out of the car. "You never know what it's gonna be until you try." It was good advice, and Justin though maybe it was *Nick* who needed to take it. "Talk to you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, okay," Justin agreed happily, checking really quickly to make sure he could still read Joey's number before he let Nick go. "And ... thanks, man. For letting me go with you guys tonight. Take your girl, and everything."

"She's her own girl," said Nick, smirking at him. "But yeah, it was a good time. And we're your friends now, you don't have to thank us for letting you hang out with us. See you around, Justin."

"Talk to you tomorrow," Justin promised, waving as he backed out, and started planning his conversation with Joey right away.

* * *

Justin practically hyperventilated, taking a series a deep breaths that were *meant* to be calming before he dialed the number he'd carefully printed on his desk calendar at home the night before. *Just Joey*, he thought to himself. *Just a guy that seemed to be as into you, the night before, as you were into him.*

"Yeah?" someone answered the phone. Someone who was not Joey.

"Manners!" Justin heard a woman say in the background. "As long as you're still living under my roof, you'll say 'hello' when you answer the phone."

"Hello?" came that same voice again.

"Hey," Justin said, trying to make sure his voice didn't squeak. "Is Joey around?" He grabbed his pillow with his other hand and tugged it in his lap, burying his face while he waited.

"Joey?" he said, like he didn't know what the fuck Justin was talking about. "Yeah, yeah, just a second." Justin could hear him cover the receiver with his hand before calling out. "Joey! Your fuckin' boyfriend's on the phone! Would it kill you to answer it yourself?" Then he came back on again. "He'll be just a second."

"Um. Thanks." Justin wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to react to that or not. "I'll ... wait." He squeezed his pillow harder and tried not to think about whether that meant Joey was actually dating someone, or that Joey had told his family about him.

Joey was breathless when he answered. "Hello?" he said. He didn't seem to know for sure who it was, which didn't really inspire confidence.

"Hi," Justin choked out. "Hi. It's ... it's Justin." He paused too briefly before he babbled on. "Justin, from, from school. From the dance last night. The parking lot? The new kid." He sighed and hit his head as silently as he could.

Joey laughed softly into the phone. "I know who you are, Justin," he said. "I've been waiting for you to call. Steve wasn't an asshole to you, was he? He's hung over."

"You said not before noon," Justin replied shyly. "And is that your brother? he was fine. He, um. You heard what he called me. Were you expecting someone else to call too, or does he just think that's funny?"

He could hear Joey's snort. "He calls every guy who calls for me my boyfriend," he explained apologetically. "He even calls JC that, and he's known JC for years. He thinks he's funny, but he's not!" The last three words were louder, leading Justin to believe that Joey's brother was still in earshot.

"That's not very nice," murmured Justin, twisting the phone cord around his arm. "So. You got home last night okay, I guess. I'm ... thanks again, for offering me a ride. It would have been nice."

"He's not mean, he's just a jerk," Joey defended him. "And hey, any time. I thought maybe we could talk a little more ... but it was already late and all anyway. I guess you got home okay, too, then? And Mandy and Nick?"

"They're fine," Justin said, grinning as he remembered the way they'd let him gush a little, and supported him. "I, um. Tried to give Nick a little bit of his own medicine, so we'll see what happens with that."

"Oh yeah?" said Joey, intrigued. "About Mandy? Does it seem promising? Because between you and me, it's been a long time coming."

"I figured," Justin said conspiratorially. "But yeah. I gave him a little shit for trying to get us together when I told him I wasn't interested, and then reminded him of how he kept trying to take her dress off all night. And I might have said something about her legs. He wants her bad and just. Denial, you know?"

"He thinks she won't want him back," said Joey, sounding like he was very sure of that. "She's known him since he was a little dorky kid, and now suddenly she's this beautiful woman. He's intimidated. And wow ... was he really trying to take her dress off? I missed that."

"Naw, I'm exaggerating," Justin had to admit. "He was just playing with the straps, or whatever. And what, were you just waching us?" He laughed a little, even though Mandy had said he was; hoping *again* that he hadn't looked dumb.

"I was watching you," admitted Joey quietly. "Not them. That's cute, though, that he did that. Maybe he's finally realizing what he's got in her."

"It was cute," murmured Justin, biting on his lip. "So. I ... you said. Last night, you said you'd see me tomorrow. Today. So did you? Want to, I mean, because I could meet you at the movies or the mall or *wherever*, really, wherever you'd want."

"Yeah?" said Joey. "That'd be cool. I wasn't sure if you'd want to. I mean ... you know, by now, that I'm pretty much out, right? So going out together somewhere, it might make people talk. I'd really like to, though, if you want to."

"It's very up to you," Justin said, trying not to dwell on how funny it was that they were both nervous about being in public, but more for each other than themselves. "Or you could. Y'know. Come over." He thought he waited long enough for Joey to respond to that, but maybe not. "Or, um, not."

"I could do that," agreed Joey finally. "If you're serious. I didn't make any other plans today, 'cause I didn't know what you were gonna want to do. So I'm free." For someone like Joey to clear his whole day -- his whole *Saturday* -- Justin though that had to mean something.

"I'm free too," Justin said. "Very free. So, um. Could you just ... just do me a favor and just come up with something? Just decide? Because I'm kind of ... kind of freaking out that you actually want to go out with me even if it's not like *that*, and I can't think."

"You're freaking out?" said Joey softly. "Don't freak out, dude. It's just me. And ... it is like *that*. I think. If your that is the same as my that. Do you want me to come over and get you, and decide then?"

Justin nodded, then said "okay" when he clichedly realized Joey wouldn't see it. "Okay," he repeated stronger. "Do y'know where Nick lives? I'm two streets over, on Veranda. 1811. Um. Whenever you want."

"I need to shower and get ready," confessed Joey with a little laugh. "Yeah, you'd think I could've done that while I was waiting but, you know. laaaaaaazy on weekends. I think I can find your place easy enough. Is an hour from now okay? To meet you?"

"Oh, yes," Justin said, thinking he might make himself do math while he waited. That, or go jerk off. "An hour, I'll be here. And we can hang out in my backyard or go out or whatever. Whatever you like."

"We'll figure it out when I get there," said Joey again, a lot calmer than Justin felt. "You might wanna go out and do something then, who knows. Are your parents home or anything? Do I have to be careful what i say?"

"It's just ... I just live with my mom," Justin said, only getting antsier. "And she knows. But she's not home. So. You only have to be careful what you say if it's something you don't want me to know."

"Then I don't need to worry about it," said Joey lightly. "Okay, I'm gonna grab the shower before Steve does. I'll see you in an hour?"

"Okay, an hour," Justin grinned, hugging the pillow tighter. "Bye." Jerk off it was, it looked like.

* * *

Justin tried to pretend like he *hadn't* been watching for Joey's car when Joey finally made it up the walk and knocked on his front door, waiting a few moments to answer it. When he did, Joey had already taken the opportunity to lounge against the doorframe and was grinning at Justin the moment he saw his face.

"Hi," Justin said, grinning back, and it came out even more breathless than he'd intended. "Come on in." He stepped back, not quite far enough that Joey could squeeze by him without brushing against him, and then touched his shoulder lightly. "Um, Happy Saturday."

Joey laughed instantly. "Happy Saturday," he said back to him, like it was suddenly a momentous occasion. "Sorry I'm late. I didn't beat Steve to the bathroom after all and he was a real ass about it. Do you have any brothers?"

"Oh, were you late?" Justin said innocently. "No, no brothers. I'm the spoiled only child that always gets what he wants. Mama's boy. The whole bit. Can I get you something to drink, or... ?" He touched Joey's shoulder again, warm under the softest tee shirt Justin'd ever touched.

"Can I just have a coke or something?" asked Joey, and Justin was sure it wasn't his imagination that Joey leaned *into* his touch. "I was gonna grab one before I left, but Steve took the last one. The guy's suck a slacker. He's twenty-one and he has no job and he doesn't go to school and he still lives at home."

"Of course you can have a coke," Justin said, letting go and leading him toward the kitchen. "And, um, I'm sorry about your brother? You seem to get along okay, though. When he isn't teasing you about your, you know, boyfriends."

"Oh, we get along fine," agreed Joey. "I'm just an ass right back to him. It seems to work. I have a sister, too, but she doesn't live at home anymore. I'm the baby. I guess you could say I'm a little spoiled, too."

"Always get what you want?" Justin murmured, giving him a small smile before bending down to grab a coke from the fridge, and some water for himself. "Actually, I bet you do. Just smile and people around you hand it over."

"Not always," said Joey quietly, his smile falling for a moment. "But yeah, I can sweet talk my mom into just about anything. After Steve, I'm an absolute *angel*, really. Any flaws can be easily overlooked."

"Oh, come on," Justin pressed, smiling encouragingly. "I'm not talking about having bad stuff happen ... just the good stuff. Is there something good you've wanted -- like, realistically? -- and not gotten it?"

"Like, a *thing*?" said Joey as he opened his coke. "Well ... I always wanted a pony ... " He gave Justin a grin then and shook his head. "Not really, I guess," he admitted. "But I never really asked for much."

"Well, that's part of the trick to always getting what you want," Justin said, then winked at him. "Make sure the things you ask for are the important things." He clambored up onto the counter. "So, you mom, your brother, your sister, your dad? that's kind of a big family. That's nice."

"You asked Nick about his family yet?" asked Joey, raising his eyebrows at him. "I can't even compete. So ... just you and your mom live here, then? That sounds ... kinda lonely, actually. But you get along with her, right?"

Justin blushed a little. "She's my best friend," he mumbled. "I pretty much tell her everything. Which is kind of good 'cause she trusts me." Their conversation -- about Joey, of course -- this morning was a case in point.

"Wow, that's really cool," said Joey, not making fun of him at all, even though he could've. "My family's really cool, but I don't tell them *everything*, not even close. I think they'd be horrified if they knew everything about me."

"Oh, horrified?" Justin said, disbelieving. "I don't know you, really, yet, but I bet it's not as bad as all that. You're, like, a good and nice person." He kicked his feet out a little. "Who do you tell secrets to, then? JC?"

Joey nodded right away. "Yeah, JC. Always JC. Other friends, sometimes, but he's my closest. And oldest friend, too. I know how he comes across sometimes, but you won't find anyone more loyal than him."

"I don't have any problem with JC," Justin said, and that was the truth, now. Now that he understood a little better. "Loyalty, that's ... that's kind of rare. Do you think you are? Loyal, I mean."

"Do I think *I'm* loyal?" repeated Joey. "I ... guess? i never really thought about it much. I try to be, at least. I don't think it's ever really been put to the test much, though. Why?"

Justin shrugged. "Just asking," he said. "Since you seemed to admire it in JC, I just ... sometimes people admire the things they try to be, and sometimes people admire the things they just aren't."

"I just *wish* I was as loyal as JC," said Joey. "I mean, the guy could stand to take the stick out of his ass, I can admit that and he can too, if you get him in the right mood. But he's an awesome friend to have. He called me today, before you did."

"Did he?" Justin murmured, wishing fleetingly he hadn't waited as long as he had. "To hang out, or? Just to make sure you got home okay?" Mandy had called him, too, but it didn't feel like the same thing.

"To talk about stuff," said Joey vaguely. "He's a real shit about following the noon rule on weekends. He didn't even ask if we were getting together, though, so ... " He shrugged. "He's a pretty smart guy."

"Oh, you think he knew already?" Justin asked. "Or do you mean he didn't ask because he didn't want to fight with you again about it? about me?"

Joey took a little too long to answer that for Justin's comfort. "I'm pretty sure he guessed," he admitted, sipping his coke. "I've been talking about you. After last night ... yeah, he probably guessed."

"What about last night?" pressed Justin. It could have been anything -- the way they'd flirted, the way JC and Joey had fought, the way JC had come back to the party to find Joey still there, watching Justin. Or something Joey had said to JC when he was talking about Justin that Justin had no way of knowing.

"Just everything about it," said Joey, still being vague. "Mostly how you and me talked a little, how you came out to us. The guy is pretty quick to put two and two together. Sometimes he comes up with five, sure, but sometimes he's dead on."

"He thinks I shouldn't have come out to you?" Justin didn't understand that, wasn't sure if he was confusing what Joey was saying. "I was sure he knew already. He kept giving me these looks like I wasn't fooling him and shouldn't even try. It was kind of ... *very* intimidating."

"What? No. No," said Joey. "He probably thought we'd be getting together today partly *because* you came out to us yesterday. And don't let that guy intimidate you -- he doesn't have any power over you, Justin. And he doesn't have any power over *me*."

Justin wasn't sure of that, but he wouldn't disagree out loud. "Yeah, Nick asked if that was how it worked ... two guys that like guys, automatically getting together." He waited for Joey to look at him. "That's not what this is for me, though." It wasn't, wasn't at all.

Joey laughed abruptly. "He seriously said that?" he asked. "Man that guy is so young sometimes. That's definitely not what this is. If *that* was true, I'd probably be dating half the drama club, all at once. Well, maybe not half, but damn close if my instincts are right."

"Yeah," Justin murmured, then slid off the counter. "So if it's definitely not that, then ... I'm okay to tell you that I noticed you the very first day of school? Huge, huge crush. Schoolboy crush. Right away."

"Yeah?" said Joey, suddenly grinning widely at him. "For real? What was I doing when you noticed me?"

"I don't even know," Justin laughed, even though he did, and it was absolutely nothing, which is why he wouldn't say. Joey'd just been sitting on the steps outside of the school, laughing -- with JC, in fact. "And then I ... I swear I cannot believe I'm telling you this, but I figured out your schedule, and figured out when I could see you outside of class. Which worked fine until you *talked* to me."

"Oh, man," laughed Joey. "If only I'd noticed. I could have been looking at you back, instead of just catching you when you were coming out of the gym. I hope you're *glad* we talked, though." He grinned wickedly. "Pookie."

"I'm *not* a Pookie," Justin insisted, feeling his face heat up with the new knowledge that Joey had looked at him too. That was all he needed to know, really, to give him the confidence that Joey wasn't just interested because Justin was out to him.

He stepped closer to him again, remembering that he'd promised himself he'd make the first move, and watched the smile on Joey's face soften from wicked into something else.

"No, you're not a Pookie," he agreed quietly, his eyes following Justin closely. "I'm still figuring out what you are, though. So for right now you get to be just Justin."

"I'm just Justin," Justin nodded, stopping right in front of Joey. "Just a kid, maybe, but I know what I want, and since I've been in Florida that's pretty much just been you." He reached out, surprised that his hand wasn't shaking, and cupped Joey's face -- leaning in until he was close enough to close his eyes and knew he wouldn't miss Joey's mouth.

He wasn't surprised when Joey started kissing him back, as confidently as Justin had been acting, but it was a relief all the same. Joey wanted this too, that much was clear even before he pressed his hand to the small of Justin's back and pulled him closer.

Neither one of them was leaning against anything, so the way ther bodies were so close meant that both Joey and Justin must have wanted them to be. Justin brought his other hand up to Joey's other cheek, his very favorite way to *be* kissed, and carefully let his tongue dart out to touch Joey's lips.

He imagined that Joey's eyes were closed, too, that they were both exploring each other only by touch, now. Joey's thumb caressed him as they kissed, their tongues touching and sliding against each other slowly. There was hardly even any sound.

None of him wanted to stop, really, now that he was actually kissing Joey, but one of the things Chris had taught Justin was to make sure to be sensitive with the people he really liked. To treat the other person the way he'd want to be treated, if their positions were reversed. And Justin would have wanted the person kissing him to make sure he was okay with it.

So he pulled his head back, just a little, and blinked his eyes open slowly. But instead of asking if Joey was alright, he blurted: "huh, we're, like, the same height."

Joey was a little flushed, looked a little dazed, and it took him a second to really react to that. When he did, though, he grinned widely at him and stole a brief kiss from Justin's lips. "Nice, isn't it?" he noted, leaving his hand very deliberately on Justin's back.

Justin, who'd only kissed two guys ever, and both of them were shorter, nodded. "I meant to ask if this was okay," he admitted. "But obviously I lost my brain somewhere in there."

"Sometimes you don't need to ask," murmured Joey, and Justin watched as he licked his lips slowly. "Sometimes you just *know* it's okay. Sometimes you already have a pretty good idea what the other guy wants."

"Joey," Justin laughed softly. "You haven't told me anything. All I know is that you noticed me, at school, and that JC has some reason to expect that you'd see me today, and that you kind of think this is more than a friends thing. None of that means you're happy to have my t ongue in your mouth, necessarily, and it sure doesn't mean I know what you want."

"I don't mean know, like I told you," said Joey, caressing Justin's back with his thumb again. "I mean know like ... you look at me, and you know. Did you look at me and know that I'd want you to kiss me? Because I did."

"I did it because *I* wanted to," admitted Justin, hoping that didn't sound too selfish. "I ... I wasn't really thinking about whether you wanted me to. Although I tried to give you enough chances to back away and you didn't, so there's that, and ... and you touched me. So there's that." He moved his own thumb over just a little, from Joey's jaw to his lower lip. "*I* wanted to," he repeated in a whisper.

"I'm hoping you're going to want to again, too," said Joey, and it was a little bit teasing but mostly it just seemed sweet. Especially when he kissed Justin's thumb. "I wasn't sure you would. I was waiting for ... I dunno, a sign or something. You kissing me first was a pretty good sign."

Just like Joey saying all that was a pretty good sign for Justin, so he did kiss him again. A little more deeply -- not more enthusiastically, just with less reserve. He sucked carefully on Joey's lower lip, licked at his upper ... slipped his tongue actually *inside* Joey's mouth and sought out his again.

Joey wasn't hesitant at all with Justin being that sure with him, slipping his hand up *under* the back of Justin's shirt, now, and kissing him back with equal confidence. He was very good at it, Justin quickly learned, as his tongue slipped over Justin's lips and tongue and teeth.

Justin shivered and hoped Joey thought he was okay at it too; not too young, or too inexperienced. He *hoped* he didn't come across as inexperienced. He felt himself having to pause more frequently to take a breath, heard himself start to make the quietest little gasps and moans, sensed himself wanting to have Joey's hands on him everywhere.

Joey was the one to pull away finally, laying his free hand on the back of Justin's neck and pushing it gently downward so he could plant a kiss on Justin's forehead. "This could go too far too fast," he whispered to him. "It would be so easy, with you."

Justin blushed red with embarrassment, he could feel it. There was nothing lamer than being the person to start something and not be the one to stop it, first. Especially with Joey all but calling him 'easy.' He met Joey's eyes, though, and that was something. "What's too far?" he pressed. "What does that mean?"

"It means that if we're gonna be making out this afternoon, there are more comfortable places than the kitchen," said Joey carefully, holding Justin's gaze. "And it means I'd like to spend a little time getting to know you, too. You're the first person I've liked -- *really* liked -- in a long time, Justin."

Justin was so flattered he mostly forgot his embarrassment. "I want to get to know you, too," he promised, but he didn't stop touching Joey. "It's just. Can't we do both?" He grinned impishly, knowing he sounded horny, but ... well, he was. Getting to know people was for the phone, and for when your mouth was too swollen to make out any more.

Joey grinned back, sliding the ends of his fingers down Justin's back to just beneath his jeans. "Then you should show me the rest of your house," he encouraged him. "So I know what our options are for someplace more comfortable."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Justin's eyes widened. "I'm such a dork. Of course." He didn't want to move, though, not with Joey touching him *there*, so he just stood still and grinned at him until Joey's look turned expectant and he couldn't stall any more. "Um, okay, first thing: I'm not really allowed to let anyone upstairs when my mom isn't home. It's just ... a rule. But I'll show you the living room and the backyard and the basement, okay?"

"Okay," said Joey easily, finally pulling his hand away but then taking Justin's. He still looked expectant, but patient. "That's like my place, too. All parents think you wouldn't dare do anything in your room while they were actually *home*. It's dumb."

"Or that you won't do anything in the basement just as easily, when they're not," Justin agreed. "But, you know, it's kind of a respect thing. ANYway." He tugged on Joey's hand, so warm, and led him through the living room. "TV, stereo, couches," he pointed out, before opening the back door. "And here's the deck and the pool, ma wanted a pool."

Joey's eyes widened. "You have a pool?" he said. "I've begged my parents *forever* for a pool, but they always said there was nothing wrong with the public pool and I should be thankful for what I have." He suddenly tugged Justin closer and gave him another kiss. "Just because I could," he explained when he finally pulled away again.

Justin was speechless for a second, then shook his head shyly. "It was just the house we got," he demurred. "Did you want to swim? I have a suit you could borrow." He had no idea what he'd do if Joey said yes, of course; it might break his brain. "Of course, it's kind of cold."

"Maybe another time," he said, reaching up to brush his thumb over Justin's lower lip. "Promise me you won't let JC scare you away, okay? He might try. He thinks he's doing what's best for me. But he's not."

"Okay," Justin said seriously, trying hard not to disturb Joey's thumb from where it lay. "I promise. Um. Just so I know, how do you know he's not? I mean. How do you know getting me to leave you alone isn't the best thing for you." He wrapped his hand slowly around Joey's hip and tried to coax him back inside.

"Because I trust you," said Joey. "Call it instinct, or whatever, but I trust you. JC may not believe in my instincts, but I do. I'm older and wiser now than I was before. Tell me you're not gonna fuck me over, and I'll believe you."

"Joey, I would *not*, I would never do what ... I wouldn't." He lowered his eyes, hoping that Joey wouldn't call him on that, hoping it wouldn't distract him from what they'd been about to do again. "I would never hurt you if it was in my power not to."

"You haven't asked," said Joey quietly, "so I'm guessing someone told you. That's how it usually happens anyway. Do you want to go back inside now?"

Justin closed his eyes. "If it makes a difference," he said, very much wishing he hadn't messed this up already, "they were just looking out for you. Nick, I mean; Mandy didn't really want to say. I don't know the details or *anything*, just ... just enough to be worried that you'd be reluctant to be with me because of my age. Don't be mad at them."

"I'm not mad at anyone," said Joey, tugging on his hand a little. "It's okay, Justin. That *is* how it always happens. Someone tells someone else and they tell the next person. I'm just glad it was friends who told you about the whole thing. They'd be nice about it."

"They *were* nice," Justin agreed, a little confused and not knowing what Joey wanted, anymore. "But I don't know what there is to not be nice about. It sounded like ... I mean, you didn't do anything wrong, Joey. I can't believe anyone would have thought that you could do the things that creep said."

Joey shrugged a little. "It was pretty easy to believe, if you didn't know me," he said. "And people like a good scandal. Plus, he was a good church-going boy ... no way would *he* mess around with a guy of his own free will, right? Or at least, that's how a lot of people saw it. Before the truth came out, anyway."

Justin didn't respond for a minute, guiding Joey inside and shutting the door carefully before walking over to the couch and flopping onto it familiarly. "Do you want to talk to me about it?" he asked encouragingly. "I don't know any of the specifics, I don't know ... I don't know how the truth came out, or anything about how you were feeling, or where JC was for all of it ... "

"Do you really want to know?" asked Joey, sinking into the couch next to him but not quite touching him. "I mean, you aren't just asking because you feel like you should?"

"I really want to know," Justin assured him. "I want to know ... why JC is so scared of me, and I want to know because it seems like a huge thing in your life and if I'm going to get to know you like you want and like *I* want, we can't just skip over it." He hoped that sounded smart, and reached for Joey's hand.

Joey squeezed it when he took it and smiled at him again finally. "If JC could hear you right now," he said, "he'd know he has nothing to worry about. He's just ... seen me at my worst, and never wants to have to see it again, is all."

"I *know* already, Joey," Justin grinned, rolling his eyes. He knew this was serious, but it didn't mean they had to be all gloom-and-doom when they talked about it. "I'm kind of right to be scared by JC, I know this. Now. What happened?" He almost called him 'baby,' without thinking.

Joey sighed and ran his fingers through his hair and Justin thought it was probably the most awkward he'd *ever* seen him, by far. "I was a sophomore and he was a freshman," he said finally. "And I thought we were in love. Like, seriously in love. JC was the only one that knew about it, though. I mean, I wasn't even *beginning* to think of coming out, not then. But you know how it is ... you get caught up in it and you forget that you should be a lot more secretive than you're being ... "

Justin's flush when he remembered how he'd acted with Joey in the parking lot the night before was sudden and deep. "Yeah," he said softly. "That's ... well, you were young," he apologized for him. "And gosh, *he* was young. Especially if it was, um, serious."

"Well, I said *I* thought it was serious," Joey reminded him. "My first boyfriend and I thought we were gonna be together for-fuckin-ever. But then we were fooling around after class one day, out behind the gym." Which was pretty much exactly where they'd been the night before. "And someone walked out and saw us together."

"Just, um, kissing?" Justin had to ask. "That's not so bad, even if you're both guys. That's pretty harmless. And it seems like most of the school is okay with that, with queers and all. I don't understand what went so bad." He tried to rub the back of Joey's hand soothingly.

"It would've been fine," said Joey with a sigh. "It would've been okay. We could've kept it quiet. There was no one openly gay in school then, that I knew of anyway, but it wasn't hostile or anything. But he just ... he *freaked*. He shoved me away and, and started yelling, about how I should get away from him and never touch him again and I was such a freak and disgusting and ... all kinds of stufff."

"Oh, gosh," Justin breathed. It was much, much worse to hear Joey tell it. To hear how resigned he sounded. He covered his mouth. "Joey, I'm so sorry. He panicked, it ... it wasn't your fault. I don't know how it looked but nobody could have believed that, really."

"They did, though," said Joey dully. "He ran away, and straight to the principal's office, to "report" it. Like I'd really been doing something awful. And the guy who saw, he ran off to tell two friends, and they told two friends, and by the time the story got around god only knows what was being said about me."

"How could he do that to you." Justin didn't understand. He didn't know Joey all that well yet, it was true; but he was so gentle and nice so far, and careful, and laid-back. "Did you try to explain?"

"By the time I knew what was going on enough that I knew there was something to explain, the damage was already done." He ran his hand through his hair again; Justin noticed it was shaking. "I had to tell them everything, just to get out of it. JC had to back me up. I had to show them shit like the letters Lance had written me and stuff, just so they'd believe that I hadn't taken advantage of him."

"Oh, Joey," Justin said, wanting very badly to hug him or hold him, and just not sure it was welcome just then. "You were just ... just my age. I can't believe they thought you had." He was reminded again of how lucky he was to have had such supportive people around *him*. "What did your parents do?"

Joey groaned softly. "My parents were great," he said. "But I had to do the same thing with them. *They* knew I would never do something like that, but I still had to explain what *was* going on. If it wasn't for them, I don't know what I would've done. I had all this awful stuff going on, and plus, I'd just had my heart broken. It was rough."

As soon as he said that, Justin scooted over, insinuating himself in Joey's lap even though he was far, far too big for it. "I won't make you explain anything to anyone," he swore softly. "Not even me. And I'd break my heart apart before I'd do anything to yours, and ... " This wasn't going slow, he knew, but he'd never done this before. He'd gotten to be the brave one but never the ... 'comforter.'

"I turned out okay, though," Joey finished softly. "Once it came out what he'd done to me, people took my side. And I was pretty much out, then, which made it easier to meet people like you, later on ... " His arms came around Justin's body, holding him there.

"I would have known," Justin mumbled. He thought he would have, too; one look at brown eyes whose sadness seemed to make a little more sense, now. "Even if you weren't out. I would have walked around with this crush all year long. You could have lied to me about whether you liked guys and I wouldn't believe you and I'd still wait outside your classes to see you." He took a breath and laughed. "I think I will anyway."

Joey smiled and gave him a brief little kiss. "It was a couple years ago," he said finally. "Maybe not forgotten, but at least put in it's proper place. Life goes on. I'm not sure *anyone* will ever forget."

"You don't seem scared," Justin told him, squirming a little to try and get more comfortable. "You must have dated people since, and ... and that's probably more important than time." Fifteen. Justin didn't know *what* he'd do if he ever faced something like that.

"Sure I have," said Joey slowly. "But never anything ... serious. Not since then. Not until maybe now."

Justin's breathing quickened, and he gave up on the squirming and leaned back into the couch, pulling Joey down with him. "So why me," he asked in a whisper, slinking an ankle over the back of Joey's leg.

"I like you," said Joey simply, like that was all there was too it. "You're cute and you're nice and you're not afraid of this. And you promised me you would never hurt me."

It was a big deal, and Justin realized he wanted to do it. He wanted a boyfriend, had *always* wanted one, and wanted Joey to be it. Wanted to be Joey's. So he smiled up at him, and wrapped his arms around the back of Joey's neck, tugging his body closer for a kiss. A happy kiss, not a pity kiss.

"Besides," said Joey, when Justin let him, grinning down at him happily now. "You know JC'll kick your ass if you do. I'm not too proud to use his overprotectiveness when it's necessary. But I'm sure it won't be."

"It won't be," Justin practically panted, grinning back. "I've never had a boyfriend but I know enough to know you're not supposed to hurt them. You're supposed to ... kiss them. A lot." He tried to pull Joey down again, much more playful.

Joey laughed and kissed him and said, "Yeah, that's a very good start."

Justin gave him his biggest smile and kissed him back. "And call them at night," he added, with another kiss. "And hold hands with them at the movies." He slipped his own up under the back of *Joey's* shirt this time. "And ... other stuff you can tell me later." He closed his eyes and just kissed him and kissed him.

* * *

"No running in the halls!" Justin had to look to see who was shouting that at him; if it was a teacher, he'd actually do it. If not, he'd keep going so he wouldn't be late for rehearsal. No way was he gonna let Joey down now. "Hey Justin," JC went on, once he had Justin's reluctant attention. "Where are you off to so fast?"

"Um," Justin said, stopping reluctantly but glancing ostentatiously at his watch. "Hi JC. I'm ... play rehearsal. I'm gonna see if they can use me in the chorus, and then Joey" - he smiled at even saying his name - "Joey's gonna help me get caught up."

"Yeah, I bet he is," he said, walking closer. Justin groaned inwardly as JC showed no sign of letting him go. "Listen, Justin, I think you and me need to talk for a minute or two."

"But I'm going to be late," Justin said weakly, looking over his shoulder at the auditorium almost longingly. So close. He didn't want to have this conversation.

"It's not like it's class," said JC dismissively. "They don't mark you down if you're late, Justin. They probably won't even start on time anyway."

"But," Justin said, then just sighed. Whatever JC was gonna say he was gonna say, so he might as well get it over with and find Joey. "What did you want to talk to me about, JC?"

"I think you know, Justin," he said, leaning against the wall and completely blocking his way, now. "What do you think you're doing?"

Justin blinked at him. Joey'd said he might try to scare Justin off, but ... he guessed he hadn't really thought he'd *do* it. "I'm ... you mean Joey? I'm. We're dating. Like. Boyfriends, I guess." He couldn't help the smile even though he knew it was asking for trouble. "I mean, we are."

JC nodded his head, and Justin wasn't surprised he already knew that. "Look, I know how attractive Joey is. And I know how tempting it must be to be with him. But have you really thought about it Justin? Thought about what you guys are doing?" "What do you mean?" Justin asked, sighing and looking at his watch again. He would try really hard not to piss JC off, but if he was just going to be weird and not make any sense, he was going to see Justin's diva side. "He *likes* me, and I like him back, and we're dating. It's supposed to be fun. What is there to think about?"

JC pinched his lips together and shook his head silently for a minute. "I'm going to assume that you and Joey talking about ... his past. Am I right?"

"You don't have to be so dramatic," Justin said. "Maybe you should be trying out for the play instead of me. He told me about what that jerk did to him, but ... it was one guy; JC. One creepy guy, but ... he says he's over it."

"You didn't see him, Justin," he said, and for one moment JC looked completely vulnerable. Pained. "I promised him -- *promised* him -- that I would never let him be hurt like that again. No matter what it took."

Justin's face softened in response. "I know," he said. "You're a really good friend to him, it seems. He's, um, lucky. But you have to let him live, JC. You can't ... he's gonna be hurt if you don't ever let him meet someone else, too."

"I want him to meet someone else," agreed JC. "I *do* want him to find someone to fall in love with and be with and be perfectly happy again. And I know you like him, Justin, and you want him to be happy, too. Which is why I'm asking you if you've really thought this through."

"Thought *what* through," Justin asked again, back to exasperated. "He's gonna be with me and be my boyfriend and I'll make him perfectly happy again, okay? He said you'd try and scare me off but I *want* this, JC, I want *him*, and it won't work. Whatever you have against me, it won't work."

"I don't have anything against you, and I'm not trying to scare you," said JC reasonably. "I just want you to think, Justin. Joey's a senior. You're a sophomore. Joey graduates this year and you don't graduate for another two after that. How happy's Joey gonna be when he moves to New York and you're still here? Don't you think that's going to hurt him?"

"WHy's he moving to New York?" Justin frowned, feeling blindsided. He didn't want to admit that he *hadn't* thought about that. When Joey was a crush it hadn't mattered, and since they kissed it hadn't occured to him. Plus, Chris had stuck around after he graduated, working and going to a community college ...

"That's where you go if you want to work in theatre, Justin," he said, nodding his head like he'd been expecting that answer. "He's already applying to schools there. I'm betting you guys didn't talk about that yet, did you? Justin ... you seem like a nice enough guy, but it's gonna hurt Joey in the long run if you guys try to have a relationship. Joey's the kinda guy, he just rushes into these things without really thinking about them and it burns him in the end. It's why he needs people like us looking out for him. What Joey *needs* from you is to be his friend."

Justin blinked at him, feeling his eyes burn a little. This was so ... nothing he'd considered. Joey might be his first boyfriend and that was cool, but he wouldn't be Joey's. Joey might be expecting things to last -- not that Justin didn't want them to, but he wasn't naive. He knew how young he was. "Oh, New York," he murmured. "That would be so good for him. He'd be so good at that."

"He's gonna be *amazing*, Justin," said JC, his voice just busting with pride. He obviously thought the world of Joey. "You just wait and see. That guy's gonna be famous and you and me can say we knew him when."

"But," Justin said, chewing on a thumbnail. "Maybe he has thought about it, JC. Thought about me. He'll have to come home and visit and stuff. Or we can break it off gently, you know, if he doesn't want that. As friends at the end of the year. Just 'cause he's going to college doesn't mean I can't have him *now*."

"When Joey does something, he does it with his whole heart, Justin," said JC with surprising gentleness. "There's no such thing as breaking it off gently with him. He's going to be hurt, no matter how it happens, if you let things get that far. He's going to be hurt a lot."

"But we already *started*," Justin said, and it felt and sounded like he was pleading for his life. "He's going to get hurt if I say no now, too, so don't make me, JC." All his confidence and all the control he'd carefully developed with Joey was just gone, and he felt younger than 15 for the first time in forever.

"You've been together for, what, a couple of days, Justin?" he said, staring at him intensely. "How's that gonna compare to how hard it's gonna be when you've been together for months, almost a year?"

"Two days," Justin nodded, sighing forlornly. He felt a sharp pain and looked down, seeing that he'd started to make his thumbnail bleed. "You really think if he'd thought about it, he never would have gotten together with me? really?" It made him feel like he'd tricked Joey into forgetting the reason he didnt date at school.

"If he thought about the fact that it was gonna *have* to end when he finished school?" said JC. "Yeah, I think he would've waiting until he was in college. Until he could meet someone he could find something potentially lasting with. I'm sorry, Justin. You know I'm not saying this to hurt you. But if *he* doesn't think of it -- and he doesn't, he's so damn impulsive -- then you have to."

Justin was actually quite sure that JC didn't care enough about him to even consider whether it would hurt or not. But that didn't change the fact that everything he was saying was compounding all of the concerns that *Justin* had ... mostly that he was too young. And still a virgin, but mostly the young thing. "But," he protested, his last try. "I know he's seen people since Lance. Why'd you let them?"

"He's slept with other people," JC corrected him. "Maybe gone on a couple dates a few times. He'd never let his heart get involved ... until you. I wouldn't even be bothering if I didn't think you had the potential to really mess him up with this, Justin. He could fall for you. And you could rip his heart out when he has to leave. Or worse, he might give up his dream to stay here with you. Do you really want him to do that, Justin?"

Swallowing was already impossible, his throat felt so tight. "I promised I wouldn't hurt him," he said. "He made me promise." It looked like he didn't have a choice, though, and that made Justin want to throw himself under a moving schoolbus.

"I know you'll do the right thing, Justin," said JC confidently, and encouragingly. "I think you're gonna be a great friend for him. He needs more good people in his life who understand what it's like for him. Okay?"

"Um," Justin said. "Okay." He wished he wasn't perfectly aware of what he'd just agreed to. "I have to go," he blurted, pushing past JC and running out to the oarking lot. Running the opposite direction from the auditorium. From Joey.

* * *

Justin saw Joey coming out of the one classroom he couldn't *avoid*, and tried to sort of hide behind a batch of cheerleaders to sneak past him. He'd been completely avoiding him -- avoiding his calls, hiding in the bathrooms in school -- because he just didn't know what to *say*. He felt awful and really, no small part of him thought that he'd let Joey convince him not to do this. Which he couldn't let happen.

"Hey Justin!" said Joey, obviously having spotted him anyway. "Justin!" He couldn't move quickly enough, the halls too crowded to let him through, and Joey caught up to his side easily. But he didn't tough him. "Justin, hey. Hey. Um. What's up?"

"Hey, Joey," Justin murmured, staring down at his feet and holding his books in front of himself. "Nothing much. How, um, how are you." His mom said he'd called three times the night before.

"I've kinda been missing you," admitted Joey softly, finally reaching out and tugging Justin's sleeve and pulling him aside to where there were so many people. "Have you been busy? Has it been basketball tryouts yet? I don't keep as good track of that kinda thing as I should ... "

"I've been ... yeah," Justin replied stiffly, slowly pulling his arm away. "Busy, I mean. We had a test in algebra and I did pretty shitty so. Extra studying. No tryouts yet though." He looked up at the hall clock, wanting the bell to sound for the next class. Soon.

"I tried to call, but ... " Joey looked down, too. "Haven't heard from you yet. And. Um. DId you decide not to join drama? That's okay and all, I just thought you were going to come ... "

"I got ... no," Justin said, shifting his books so he could chew on his thumbnail before he remembered he still had a band-aid on it. "I don't think it's a good idea. Not ... not this show, at least. Maybe in the spring. I don't ... I think there were just some things that sounded like they'd be good ideas and just aren't."

"Well, okay," said Joey, already sounding disappointed. "Well, did you want to get together some time this week, maybe, then? You could come over, if you wanted ... "

"I don't think it's a good idea," Justin repeated dully, looking everywhere but at Joey. His head heart, and his chest, and his thumbnail. "I think ... maybe we just shouldn't. Do that. Just give it some time. I'm sorry, Joey."

"Wait ... what?" he said, sounding disbelieving. "But Justin, I thought we ... and Saturday, and it went so *well*, and ... you can't mean that. Please tell me you don't mean that."

"I ... " Justin couldn't even make himself say it. "I ... " But thankfully, the bell rang, and he dashed out of Joey's reach, calling "gotta get to class," over his shoulder. He didn't think he'd ever have a more painful conversation in his life than the one he had with JC. He'd been wrong.

* * *

Justin felt someone grab hold of his collar and jerk him back; when he looked to see who it was, Mandy was standing there, looking both stern and concerned. "Oh Justin," she said softly. "I don't know whether to smack you or ask you what happened."

One look at her face and Justin felt his own crumple. He turned quickly to the lockers, wrenching himself free from her grip, and tried to hold back tears as his shoulders hitched. It had been the single worst 48 hours of his life.

"Whoa, hey," she said, giving up on his collar and sliding an arm around his waist. "Justin, Justin, hey. What's going on? What *happened*?"

"I thought you heard," he choked out. She'd certainly looked mad, and had no other reason he knew of. "Me and Joey, we're ... not."

"But why?" she pressed. "Joey wouldn't tell me what was wrong, Justin, but I guessed it had to have something to do with this. I don't understand. You guys were so obviously into each other."

"It just won't work out," Justin shook his head. It sounded weak to him, even still, but ... JC had said. "I didn't think through it good enough, you know, and. It's better this way." He turned back toward her, though, and wasn't too embarrassed to bury his head in her neck. Whether or not she was embarrassed to have him do it.

"Oh, Justin," she said, wrapping her other arm around him, too, and holding him. "I just ... I hate seeing my friends miserable and both of you so obviously are. Are you *sure* it wouldn't work out, Justin? Really sure?"

Justin sighed, so shaky. "He's miserable?" he echoed sadly. "When did you ... you saw him? What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything, Justin," she said softly. "He didn't tell me what was going on. He just looked ... pretty miserable. Pretty sad. And then I see you and you look the same and I put two and two together."

"Why did you think it was my fault, then," he said pitifully. This already hurt like nothing ever, and JC sucked for ever getting involved. "It's all for the best, anyway."

"I never said anything about fault," she said, rocking him back and forth gently. "But I might point out *you're* the one saying it's for the best, and he's the one looking like it's anything but. I don't understand, Justin. I *know* you like him."

"I do, but that's the problem," Justin insisted. "'member how I was worried about being young? I think I really am, too much. He'll be better off waiting for someone at college."

She pulled her head back and frowned at him a little. "Are you sure you should be making that decision *for* him, sweetie? Seems to be Joey must already know that, and if he chose to be with you in spite of that, then *that's* what he wants."

"He must not have thought it through." Justin avoided her eyes as he parroted JC's words. "Jumped in without thinking of the repercussions? And it was better I figured it out now instead of months down the road."

"Oh, Justin," she said softly. "Oh, poor Justin. Just tell me ... are you sure you know what you're doing? This is what you want to do?"

Justin wouldn't answer that. He didn't want to lie. "It's the best thing," he said again instead. "Everyone thinks so. If you thought about it, you'd agree too, probably. I just didn't see it at first because it was so ... so cool to be with him."

"I don't have to agree, if it's what you want to do, Justin." She didn't sound like she believed it was, though. But she also didn't try any harder to talk him out of it. "I just want to tell you ... you don't *look* happy about it."

"Well, I'm *not*," Justin said, rubbing his eyes. "It sucks. My first boyfriend, Mandy, and it was only for a day. A *day*." He slammed his hand into his locker. "I'm not doing chorus any more either, okay? I should tell you that."

"No, Justin, no," she insisted, wrapping her own hand firmly around his and pulling it back again. "Don't let it stop you from doing something you love. It'll all work out in the end. I promise."

"I can't, though," he said. "I've been avoiding him all day and it was his thing first. I can do it next year, once he's graduated. I won't take that from him." Too, he wanted to add. Although he felt like such a jerk that really, Joey was better off. He had to be.

"At least think about it some more," she said. "You can start going next week or something, if you're feeling better about it. And who knows, you might be. Things might've worked themselves out by then."

"Not things with him, though," Justin made sure to say. "I'm not changing my mind about that. Even if I wanted to, even if Joey'd have me, no way JC'll let me around him again."

"JC," said Mandy shortly, jerking up to stare at him again. "What's JC got to do with anything?"

"Well," he hedged. "JC. I just mean, you know how protective he is, and he already didn't like me and if Joey's miserable he'll like me even less. He thinks I can be a good friend for him so that's what I'll do, once it doesn't hurt to see him."

She watched him suspiciously but again, didn't push the subject. "Well, then you should join choral once it doesn't hurt to see him then," she said. "I'm not going ot take no for an answer."

Justin sighed and shifted his books. "We'll just ... we'll see," he said, then looked at his watch. "Anyway, you think you can come over to my house tonight? you and Nick? I'm all ... I need ice cream."

She grinned at him and kissed his forehead. "We'll be there," she promised, then laughed softly. "Ice cream. I should've known you weren't straight from the start. Don't worry, Justin, we'll be there for you."

"Thank you," he whispered, hugging her again and then glancing around to make sure he hadn't made too much of a scene. He really did need her. And he'd need Nick, too. They'd help him get over it.

* * *

As soon as Chris picked up the phone, Justin swiped at his eyes and stopped sniffling. Mandy and Nick were great, but they didn't understand. Chris might not understand either, but he wasn't friends with Joey. So he had to be on Justin's side.

"Hi, Chris, it's me," he said in a small voice. "Are you busy?"

"Whoa, hey," he said, sounding surprised to hear Justin's voice. He could hear Chris shuffle some papers in the background. "Not too busy for you, kiddo. What's up? I"ve missed you."

"Missed you too," Justin replied immediately. "Like, lots. I know I said it was awesome last week, herein Florida, but it's not now so can I come back to Tennessee and stay with you, maybe? I'll do your laundry and stuff."

"What happened?" he asked immediately, and urgently. "Did someone do something to you, Justin? You know I'll come down there and kick their ass for you. I'm a scrappy one, you know I can ... "

Justin laughed weakly. "No, thanks," he said. "And nobody ... nobody really did anything. It's just that guy I told you about? Joey, the cool one? we maybe kissed and stuff and he told me he liked me, but. I'm not allowed to date him and it sucks."

"You're not allowed to date him?" he asked curiously. "Your ma doesn't like him or something? He some kind of leather-jacket-wearing, cigarette-smoking, cussing biker guy, Justin?"

"No," Justin laughed again, finally smiling a little. "No, he's sweet, he's a big ole drama queen. He's just ... he's a senior." Maybe Chris would get that, and he wouldn't have to explain it.

"So he's a little older, and that's why your ma doesn't like him?" he said, though. "You want me to talk to her, maybe? You really like this guy?"

"No, not his age, just ... " Justin punched his pillow. "He'll be leaving for college. his friend JC says in New York. So I'm not allowed to go out with him because he's leaving and it might hurt him. But then I hurt him anyway and that sucks more."

"Who says?" said Chris indignantly. "Who says you're not allowed to go out with him? Cause that doesn't sound like something your ma would tell you, Justin ... "

"Um," Justin said, punching the pillow again. "Well. JC, he kind of ... but he just talked to me. made me realize. So I guess I'm the one who says."

"Why are you saying, if it's not what you want?" he asked, obviously not quite getting it either. Justin *couldn't* be with him, in the long run. It wouldn't work. JC said so. "Why don't you just go out with him, Justin? Sometimes things don't last forever, but they're worth it while they last."

"He, Joey, he. He kind of had his heart broken before and I don't want him to get hurt again. Neither does JC. So even though he likes me and we were happy for the twonseconds we were together, I'm ... just too young for him."

"Justin," he said patiently, then sighed. "Well, I can't tell you who to date and not to date. I learned *that* one before. But I just think maybe you should give it another change. You can't spend your life not doing stuff just because of what *might* happen."

"Not my whole life," Justin said, defensive. "Jeez, Chris, I'm trying to be grown up about this. Not selfish. Even though I want him bad and ... and I'd totally let him be my first."

"Wow," said Chris softly. "And you're not going for it? Because he might be gone in a year? You know, sometimes I don't get you, Justin. But you're right ... you're practically an adult now, and you have to make your own decisions, and I'm sure you've thought about this really hard."

He *had* thought about it, but ... JC knew Joey better. And everything he'd said had made so much sense. He had a chance to be this really great guy's friend, and who was to say that wouldn't be better for him in the long run. "I know it seems kind of premature," Justin tried to say evenly. "I just kind of want your support, Chris. My other friends, they ... they just think I'm a little frightened or something. And you know that'ss not it."

"Do I?" said Chris slowly. "But you know I'll support you as long as you're not being a complete moron about something. And since I don't know this guy, or this situation very well, I'm gonna trust you that you're doing the right thing here. That you've considered your options and this is the thing that you want. And if I find out it's not, I'm gonna come down there and kick *your* butt. Okay, kiddo?"

"Um, okay," Justin said hesitantly. "Just, Chris? Don't you think it makes a little sense? If this guy's really been burned before, I don't want to be the one to hurt him again. Especially since I'm kind of inexperienced and I could hurt him without even meaning to. On accident."

"Yeah, I think it makes a little sense," he admitted. "But it also makes sense to spend this year with him, if you both want it, because that's a year of both of you being happy. And if you both already *know* he's gonna leave at the end of the year, and you both want to do it anyway, then why not? But I'm trusting you, that you know what's going on better than me and you picked the best way to handle it." He chuckled a little suddenly. "You're not a kid anymore. I should know."

Justin's face blushed immediately, and other parts of his body reacted too. Chris *did* know. "Chris," he protested. "Come on ... don't, you're embarrassing me. You always promise you won't make fun of me for any of that and then you do." Not meanly, not ever, of course.

"Hey, who's making fun?" he said, still teasing a little. "I'm just pointing out that I have first-hand knowledge that you're pretty much ready to have a relationship with someone. And if you're ready for that, then you have to be ready to make the decision about who. So I'm trusting you."

"Okay," Justin whispered, digging his nails into his palm a little. "He'd ... if he wanted it, he would have tried to change my mind, right, Chris? Like. If he thought I was being dumb and it *wasn't* the best thing for him, he wouldn't have let me break it off. Would he."

"Justin, I don't know," said Chris quietly. "I don't know him. I don't know how he'd react. I don't know how much of a chance you gave him *to* argue. Knowing you, you've been avoiding him -- you've always hated conflict. Are you having second thoughts?"

"Just ... kind of," replied Justin, barely audibly even to himself. "I like him, Chris, like I haven't even liked anyone before. Like I might have liked you if you'd ever given me a reason to think I had a chance. He gave me a reason."

"Then what the hell are you doing, Justin?" he asked. "Shit. At least talk to him, then. Find out if he *does* agree with you or not, that you shouldn't be together."

"I'm embarrassed," Justin admitted. "He's gonna think I'm such a baby, and ... no. I can't, Chris. I promised, and I can't."

"You promised what? To who? Justin ... " Chris was beginning to sound impatient with him. "You can't fuck around with this. You've gotta decide whether you want to be with him or not. And you have to let *him* decide the same."

"Don't *yell* at me!" Justin cried. "I don't know what I'm doing here, and JC said ... he said if I didn't want to hurt him I had to let him go and be his friend, so I'm *trying*, Chris. You don't have to yell at me!"

"I'm not yelling, Justin, so calm down," he said. "I'm just telling you that you can't fuck around. If this guy had been hurt before, like you said, then messing around like this isn't doing him any favors. And how is it you're being his friend if you aren't even *talking* to him, kiddo? Man, I wish I could be there for you, help you straighten this whole thing out. But I can't. So you gotta do it yourself."

"I wish you were here too," Justin said, squeezing his pillow. "You've helped me with everything and ... and. This is hard. Figuring out how to be a boyfriend, it

"I wish you were here too," Justin said, squeezing his pillow. "You've helped me with everything and ... and. This is hard. Figuring out how to be a boyfriend, it's hard. I suck. But ... no, no. I promised JC. You're so nice to tell me to try for him if I want him, but I promised. This is the grown up thing to do."

"Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's grown up, Justin," said Chris carefully. "And you and JC can't decide for Joey what's best for him. Not without at least talking to him. So you need to talk to him, okay, Justin? And *then* you'll know if you're doing the right thing, for both of you."

He knew Chris was right. Justin just remembered how Joey had looked, when he told him he couldn't do this with him. He didn't want to see that look again. Or worse, really, he wasn't sure he wanted to see Joey not caring. "If he doesn't want me, I'll find someone else, right?" he asked quietly. "Someone else'll eventually want me."

"Of course, baby," said Chris, and it *sounded* sincere. "Of course you'll find someone else, if it doesn't work out. You're young, and you have lots of time."

"I know, I am, I just hoped ... I'm almost sixteen," Justin said. "And he'd older and I like him, and he'd treat me well, and if I couldn't get you to have sex with me like that I thought maybe he might, but ... no, no." He shook his head. "No. I'll start looking for someone else. Practice basketball for tryouts and just avoid him until we can be friends. That's best."

"Talk to him Justin," said Chris again. "Don't be afraid of this. If you want to be a grown up, you have to deal with it, not just run away."

"I *am*. Okay? I'm dealing with it." He needed more ice cream. "I'll try to talk to him. Can't you at least tell me good luck on tryouts? Or, I don't know. Tell me a story or something. "You have a new boyfriend yet?"

"Maybe," said Chris slowly. "I have a date tonight, actually. You want me to call you tomorrow and tell you how it goes? And ... yeah, good luck on tryouts. Except I know you don't need luck, you're gonna blow them all away, you are."

Justin smiled weakly. He was happy for his friend. "Thanks. ANd I'm excited about your date. You definitely should call me. And make sure he treats you well, right? or I'll come up there and kick HIS ass."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell him that," laughed Chris. "So besides this whole thing, you're doing okay? And once that's all settled, you'll be doing great? Right?"

"Right," Justin replied, knowing he had to sound happy about that at least. "Math still sucks but I met some cool people, some good friends. I trust them. And I get to drive to school and stuff. So yeah. It's just my love life that's crap."

"And it doesn't have to be for long," Chris reminded him. "You can fix that. Next time I talk to you, I want you to have some good news for me. Got it?"

"Got it," Justin agreed. He'd try. Otherwise he'd make up something. "I'm glad I caught you. Have fun tonight but not too much fun. Miss you and talk to you tomorrow."

"Miss you too, kiddo," said Chris. "I'll talk to you soon." Justin waited until Chris haddisconnected the call before hanging up himself.

* * *

"I saw him, after school today," said Nick, popping open his can of coke and leaning against the counter. "You didn't ask, so I'm telling you. He didn't look so hot, Justin. You should talk to him." He glanced at his watch, then at the door. "And as soon as Mandy gets here, she'll tell you the same thing."

"Well, you do share a brain, I'm not surprised," Justin muttered. He could do without another one of their tag team routines. "And if he doesn't look hot, why should I talk to him? I'll just make things worse and you know it."

"Justin," said Nick, giving him a pained look. "He flat out asked me what he'd done to make you hate him. You're *killing* him here. You've gotta talk to him. You guys gotta work this thing out."

"And what did you tell him?" Justin asked, not wanting to have to respond to the rest of that. Not wanting to think, at *all*, about being the reason Joey was hurting. JC knew him better and JC said it was the right thing to do.

"I told him that you didn't hate him," said Nick, like he was reciting something he'd practiced a hundred times. "I told him that you just didn't think things would work out, and that you wanted to be friends with him. Justin I *know* what to say, but it can't always be me saying it to him."

"I know," Justin muttered. It really wasn't fair to make Nick and Mandy do his dirty work for him. "I *do* want to be his friend, it's just hard right now when I still want to kiss him whenever I see him. You know? I will, soon. I'll talk to him soon and apologize and see if we really can be friends."

"I still think you're being stupid," said Nick sullenly as he sipped his coke. "Like, really stupid. You like him, he likes you, you should go out. Why do you have to go and make it so complicated?"

"I didn't do anything," protested Justin. "I'm being mature, dumbass. I'm being unselfish. I'm ... it sucks, I know, but JC thinks it's best and I wouldn't want to think he's wrong and then find out he was right. Okay?"

"JC's the dumbass," said Nick. "If you like someone, and they like you back, then you're just asking for trouble if you try to stay apart. Cause you don't have any good reason not to be with him, Justin. You don't have any excuse for hurting him like this."

The door flew open and they both looked up as Mandy stepped inside, looking flushed and winded."I'm sorry i'm late," she said. "I got held up." She held out a letter for Justin. "This is for you."

As Justin took the letter, he watched the way Nick was watching Mandy, unsurprised by his reaction. She'd come over in a sundress, light and flowing and very, very flattering on her, even with her flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. Maybe even partly because of them. And Nick didn't miss it.

He raised his eyebrow, but couldn't concentrate on that just then. He stared down at the paper in his hand, with his name scrawled across the outside. "What is this?" he asked her quietly, turning it over and over in his hands. "Who gave this to you, Mandy?"

"You know who gave that to you, Justin," said Nick, looking up at Mandy for confirmation only after he said it. She just nodded. "You need to *fix* this."

"I'm not changing my mind," Justin said, still not sure whether he wanted to open it. "I'll go talk to him, I owe him and you guys that much, but. I'm not right for him. Like, romantically or whatever. We'll be better friends and he can introduce me to other guys he knows and. It'll be like that." He ran his fingers over the ink, though.

"You don't know that," insisted Mandy, though.

"Yeah," agreed Nick, practically speaking overtop of her. "Because you haven't *talked* to him, you don't know how it's gonna be yet."

"Right. You don't, Justin."

"You guys can't bully me into this," he said defensively, trying to hand the letter back to Mandy. "And maybe I don't know that what I said is true, but I know better than you. I'm not telling you to butt out, 'cause I would've been even more miserable without you this week, but ... kind of. Butt out."

"We not bullying you," said Nick, reaching around behind Mandy's back to tuck her tag back beneath her dress.

"Justin, I'm not taking that letter back," said Mandy. "Just read it. Please? After we leave or something. You're both just so *miserable*. I mean, can't you see that you want to be together? You'd be good for him."

"Why, why would I be good for him?" Justin exclaimed, frustrated and almost tearing off a corner of the page when he tried to unfold the stupid letter. "I'm just a dumb kid, a stupid dumb kid who doesn't know anything about anything and who's only ever kissed two people and." He broke off his words, shaking his head and trying to read the letter. Anything to hide his face.

"Justin, *stop*," said Mandy, laughing gently but not at him, even though it almost felt like she was. "You're not a dumb kid. What you're *doing* right now is kinda dumb, but you're not. He *likes* you and you guys have a lot in common, that's why you're good for him. And he's good for you because ... "

" ... because you've only ever kissed two people," said Nick. "And he'll be really good about that. He was looking *forward* to it, before you tried to break up with him."

"Tried, nothing, I *did* break up with him," he insisted. Talking to either one of them on their own was hard enough, but the two of them together? "Plus, you're making that up. He did *not* tell you that." He kept staring at the paper but was blinking so fast he couldn't read anything past his name, so he folded it back up and dropped it on the counter.

"No, he did," said Nick. "Not before, but after. When he was, like, crying on my shoulder -- "

" -- *my* shoulder -- " " -- crying on Mandy's shoulder about it. He was really looking forward to being with you, Justin. Please, just talk to him? So he's not so broken up about it and wondering what he did wrong?"

"Can't you just tell him it's not him or anything he did?" Justin said, not sure which one of them he was talking to anymore. "You said you understood that. If you were my friends you'd know how hard it would be to see him if he's still sad and you wouldn't ask me to do this."

"Don't you dare, Justin Timberlake," said Mandy sternly. "Don't you dare accuse us of being bad friends, when you're the one going around messing everything up. He's not gonna *stop* being sad until you at least talk to him."

"And we're not going to talk to him for you anymore," added Nick.

"Yeah," agreed Mandy. "I think it just makes it worse, for him to see that you don't want to talk to him. That you have to send us instead."

Justin bowed his head. "I didn't really ask you to, the first time," he said weakly. "But I'm sorry you feel stuck in the middle. Both you guys. It's not fair. But ... if I was him, I wouldn't even want to see me. Unless he's gonna try and change my mind, and I don't want that." He looked up at both of them, knowing how sad *he* must seem, and took an abbreviated step toward Mandy. "I don't want him to try that."

"You can't stop him, if he wants to," said Mandy gently. "Maybe he's the one that's right, Justin. But no matter what, you can't just decide for him. It's gotta be both of you. Cause things are really fucked up right now and you guys need to make them better."

"And I still think," said Nick, "that you're both just being dumb about it. You like each other. You *like* each other. You're soooo lucky to have that and you don't even know it. So just ... yeah. Figure it out, man."

"I already figured it out," he muttered, except that right then no one was happy. Except maybe JC. "It's not like I spend all day every day with him and there's *nothing* keeping us apart," he added pointedly. "Now that ... *that* would be dumb."

"Yeah, that would be dumb," muttered Nick, while Mandy just remained silent. "Well, figure out how this is gonna work *with* him, then. Cause I'm tired of everyone being all upset all the time. I've never seen Joey like this before. It's not right."

Justin thought about it a second; thought about what they were saying, what Chris had said. He picked the letter up again slowly. "What did he say, when he gave you this?" he said quietly.

Mandy looked down for a second, until Nick reached out to lift her chin. "He said to make sure you got it," she said slowly. "That he missed you, and he wanted to understand. And for you to please not burn it or anything before you read it, except I wasn't going to tell you that part because I knew you wouldn't. Would you?"

"I *wouldn't*," Justin practically gasped, before he realized how smitten it made him still sound. "I don't *hate* him, at all. He should ... he should hate me." He just hoped that wasn't what the letter said.

"He doesn't," said Nick, just a beat ahead of Mandy.

"He just wants to know where it went wrong," Mandy went on. "He doesn't understand. *No* one really understands except you, Justin. He's really upset and lost and trying to figure out what he did. And no one's gonna convince him it's not his fault but you."

"But," Justin said. "What if he still wants to go out with me? What if he kisses me and I say yes and then JC hunts me down in my sleep 'cause I lied to him? To him JC, not him Joey. Excpet kind of Joey too. What if all that happens?" He didn't even realize he was crumpling up the letter until Mandy reached out and pried it from his hands.

"Then you deal with it," she said firmly. "Then you hunt down JC and tell him *he* was wrong and to just stay out of it next time. Just ... be open to what might happen, Justin. It wouldn't be a bad thing, if he told you he still wants to see you. And kisses you."

"You have to take these things when they come." added Nick. "Otherwise, you might be missing out on something really special."

He already knew that Joey was something really special. He didn't need him to do anything else to prove that. "Nick," he murmured, already making up his mind. "Ever heard ofpracticing what you preach?"

Nick just frowned at him a little, confused, and shook his head. "So you're gonna talk to him?" he asked. "Because me and Mandy, we can get out of your hair, go to Sam's for a while or something. Yeah?"

"Now?" Justin squeaked a little. "But. But I don't know where he is, and ... and we were gonna hang out, the three of us, except ... well, unless you wanted to be alone, which you know you can always just say to me, because ... "

"Don't be silly, Justin." said Mandy. "He's at the school, if you wanted to find him. You know ... rehearsal today and all. He almost wasn't gonna go again, but I managed to convince him. You could find him there, if you wanted. They'll probably be almost done, now."

"He's skipping rehearsals?" Justin whispered. "Shit. Um. Okay, I should ... I really should. Go. See him. Want I should drop y'all off at Sam's? on my way? and then when I'm done ... it'll take ten minutes tops, I think, I join you?"

"You take all the time you need," said Mandy, giving him a smile again finally. "We'll be there for a while, I think. They got a new game in and so far I've been kicking Nick's butt at it."

"Have not!"

"Have to! And he keeps demanding rematches. So yeah, we'd love a ride. And I'm sure you'll find us there when you're ready."

"Okay," Justin breathed, folding the letter back up and putting it in his pocket. He'd offer to give it back to Joey when he saw him, after he explained. In case it was something he shouldn't read. Even though ... even though he hoped Joey wouldn't want it back. He'd never gotten a letter from a boy before.

"Okay," said Mandy, giving him another encouraging smile. "It'll be fine, Justin. I'll be good. Now let's go."

* * *

Justin drove them to Sam's in a daze, then found a parking spot right outside the auditorium. People he recognized from the cast were already exiting the doors, though, so he turned off the car quickly and darted inside. If he didn't find Joey this night, he might not get the balls to do it again. Annoying cluelessly-in-love friends or not.

It wasn't hard to find him, though, even though once he did he almost wished he hadn't. Joey and JC were the only ones left in the dark auditorium when Justin slipped in the back, standing off to one side of the stage, and they obviously weren't expecting company.

"I can't *believe* you," Joey said, loudly enough for it to echo faintly. "I cannot fucking believe you did that. What were you *thinking*?"

Justin froze, caught between trying to stand still so they wouldn't notice him, and sneaking back out to give them their privacy.

"What was I thinking?" JC replied, quieter and much more calm. "I was thinking I was trying to protect you. Like I'm always thinking. He *agreed* with me, Joey, don't forget that whole part."

"Yeah, of course he did. He's *scared* of you. And who wouldn't be, you going after every guy who ever showed any interest in me. Do you *want* me to be alone? Is that it? That's pretty fucked up, JC. That's pretty awful."

"Haven't we had this discussion a million times?" Justin noticed that even JC, with his ultra-cool attitude, wasn't immune to the way Joey sounded with hurt in his voice. "I don't do that. I don't want you to be alone. You've totally been out with guys, with plenty of guys. There's just, there's a difference. He's totally a baby and he could really mess you up, Joe."

"So fucking what!" said Joey, taking a step forward and looming over him. "That's not your choice, JC. That's *my* choice. And I made it and you had *no* right to fuck that up for me. And you did. You fucked up *so* bad I don't even want to *see* you right now."

Justin gasped and covered his mouth, and even felt a little bad for JC. Especially when he flinched. "I was just trying to help," he insisted. "I promise. And I didn't ... it didn't even take a lot of convincing, Joe. It really didn't. I wasn't even being scary, I just suggested some things, and he went with it. I think he had his own worries, or something ... can we just, just calm down here?"

"You want me to calm down?" said Joey. "I meet a guy who I *really* think I could be with -- I really think so, JC -- and you go behind my back and convince him that he shouldn't see me? Why the hell should I be calm about that? You fucked up, JC. You. Fucked. Up."

"He's fifteen!" JC snapped back. "Guess who else was fucking fifteen, Joey. Guess who else was fucking fifteen when you thought you could be with him. Guess! Do you need me to say his name? I'm not the bad guy, here. I'm saving you a lot of heartache down the road. Fucking fifteen!"

"He was fourteen," Joey bit out. "And Justin's almost sixteen. And they are *not* the same person, JC. You think you can tell everything about a person from their age? Things were *great* between us, until you got in the way. I didn't care that he was two years younger. It didn't matter!"

"Close enough," JC retorted. "And how much did *you* know about him, anyway? I'll tell you: not much. You saw an admittedly adorable kid with a pretty mouth and a good sense of humor and a backbone, and suddenly that's all you need? You've been fucking all those stupid frat boys and the second you meet someone innocent you're totally gone for him."

"It's none of your business why I fell for him," snapped Joey, taking a step back again, away from the things JC was saying to him. Justin couldn't blame him; he could feel himself shrinking back as well. "Yeah, sure, it was all those things. *Plus* other stuff, too, like he likes the same stuff I do. And it doesn't matter, because you had no right to get in the way. There's no excuse for what you did, JC."

"There *is* an excuse!" JC just would not let it go; his cheeks were flushed and his voice was shrill. "I *care* about you! I don't want you hurt, Joey. You're my best friend and it killed me to see you sad, and I have all these dreams for you, and you can fucking laugh at me if you want 'cause I sound like your dad, but. I only got involved because I thought it was best for you, and just ... what's done is done."

"I *am* hurting," said Joey, tugging at his shirt. "I'm hurting so fucking much I should be fucking bleeding or something! And it's not going *away*. I want to be with him. I still do. And god help you if you try to stop me, JC. I *know* you care about me, but just fucking *listen* to me this time -- I want to be with Justin. And I know what I'm doing."

JC just shook his head. "You don't," he muttered, and Justin could barely hear him. "But ... okay. Okay, Joey. I won't interfere. If you can get him back, then ... you know, you have my blessing. And I'd say not to come crying to me when he fucks you over, but you know it'd be a lie and I'm always here for you. Even when it makes you hate me."

"He's not gonna fuck me over," insisted Joey, lowering his voice too. "He's not, JC, you'll see. Just ... stop trying to 'help' me so much, all right? Once in a while, you gotta trust that I can look out for myself."

"He already *did*," JC blurted, and Justin gasped again when he saw JC shove Joey away, his eyes wet. He didn't understand what it was that JC felt for Joey, how intense it was. He wondered if even JC did. "Just. Call me when you're done being mad. I gotta go meet Bobbie." He picked up his bag and ran up the other side of the auditorium.

Joey took a couple steps after him, helplessly, then stopped and hung his head and sighed. A moment later, he took the otherset of stairs off the stage and started up the aisle, barely even looking where he was going.

"Joey," Justin said, having to repeat it twice before he looked up. He walked toward him slowly. "Um, I'm sorry, I heard some of that ... that was, it sounded bad. A pretty bad fight."

Joey's eyes weren't as friendly as Justin had been expecting them to be. "You ... " he began, then didn't seem to be able to find the words. "You ... how *could* you? I told you, Justin. I *told* you not to let JC scare you away. And that's the first thing you do ... "

Justin flinched even more than JC had, it felt like. "That's not ... " he tried, leaning against one of the seats. Holding himself still. "I didn't think he was, Joey. I swear to you. I ... what he was saying, it made sense, and he knows you better than me."

"And you didn't just ask me about it?" said Joey. "You didn't just come to me and say, hey, this is what JC told me, is this how you really feel? You didn't have the right to make that decision for me and ... it hurts, Justin. A lot. And you said you wouldn't hurt me."

"I thought I was being unselfish," insisted Justin. "I was trying *not* to hurt you. JC said, better now than a year from now. He *also* said you wouldn't think about the consequences."

"JC still thinks I'm fifteen and heartbroken," said Joey with a sigh. "No matter how well JC knows me, he doesn't know me better than I know myself. I knew I wanted to be with you, and I told you that ... and you didn't believe me. And no matter how good yours and JC's intentions were ... this really *sucks*, Justin."

"I'm sorry," Justin looked down at his feet. It was all he could say. "I messed up, I know that. *Believe* me, if I didn't already know, then Mandy and Nick would be telling me 24-7." He dug in his pocket. "Anyway, I just came ... I came here to tell you that it wasn't you. I don't hate you, I just made a mistake, and I'm not the right person for you." That was almost impossible to get out. "I brought back your letter in case you don't want me to read it. In case I don't ... you know, deserve to."

"No ... " said Joey slowly. "No ... no, wait. You can't ... you can't *say* that now, Justin. You can't say you're not the right person for me. If you don't like me, then just have the guts to say so and don't make like it's me that doesn't want you. Because I do, and I'm not afraid to say so. You say you heard me and JC ... so you know. You already know what I want."

"But I'm only fifteen!" Justin exclaimed softly. "And I messed up already, big time. You were fighting with JC, and it's all my fault, and you ... you're glaring at me. You know I like you back but you should find someone that's not such a dumb kid."

"It was JC's fault that I was fighting with him," insisted Joey. "Would we even be *having* this conversation if he hadn't convinced you not to see me in the first place? No. We wouldn't. We would've already been dating for, like, a week and been perfectly happy together. Maybe you did mess up big time already ... so just don't do it twice, okay? Learn from it and just be with me now. And we can start this over again."

Justin twisted the letter in his hands again. "Why are you giving me another shot?" he asked. "I don't deserve it. I can promise I won't mess up again but I promised last time too. WHat if ... what if JC really does threaten me? he seems to just hate the idea so much."

"He's not going to threaten you," Joey promised him. "Just believe in me, that I actually do know what I want. That I actually have thought about what it means. And stand *up* for us, Justin. JC won't hurt you."

Justin thought about that, thought about what he'd heard Joey say when he had no idea Justin was listening. How much he *did* seem to like him, how everyone Justin talked to thought he wasn't being fair by deciding *for* Joey ...

He practically threw himself at the older boy, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I believe in you," he breathed. "Promise."

"In us," Joey said. "Believe in us, too." And then the moment that Justin had been both dreading and desperately hoping for -- Joey kissed him and sealed the deal.

He pulled away quicker than he wanted to, quicker than he thought he could. But they were out in the open and anyone could walk in.

"I have to go pick up the kids," he apologized breathlessly, smiling when that made Joey grin a little. "I don't ... can we continue this? sometime? soon?"

"Can't I come with you?" he asked, blinking a couple times and then grinning at him, they way he used to. "I don't have anywhere else to be. And you don't ... I won't out you, Justin, but just remember ... I already am."

"No, no, that's not it," Justin blushed. "I just. Was kind of trying to maybe save myself the embarrassment of an 'I told you so' from those two, in front of you. But you can come. And I'd never be too shy to be seen with you."

"Those two," said Joey, "have *no* room to say 'I told you so'. And actually, I was talking about the kiss. I wouldn't have minded if it was a *little* longer, maybe. We have some lost time to make up for, after all."

"Right now?" Justin said, wrapping his arms close around Joey's torso. "You get to do whatever you want." He smiled shyly. "Go with me to Sam's, kiss me here ... let me drive you somewhere and kiss me in my backseat ... "

"Yes right now," said Joey, leaning in toward him. "Let the kids play for a little while. The grownups are busy."

* * *

"Nick, stop that!" laughed Mandy, swatting at him with one hand as Nick tickled the back of her neck gently. Her racecar smashed into the sidewall shortly after, bursting into a spectacular fireball as the words 'Game Over' flashed across the screen. "Now look what you did!"

"Ha!" said Nick triumphantly, wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting her off the ground a little. "I win!"

They both had their backs to the door and hadn't seen Nick and Joey slip inside a few moments earlier, just in time to witness their little scene.

Justin smiled and wrapped his own arm a little shyly around Joey's hip, just for a second. "They've been playing all week," he murmured to him. "She's been kicking his ass, she says. If I didn't know *him* better, I'd say he was letting her win."

"Maybe he's just been distracted," Joey murmured back, wearing a little smile of his own, Justin noticed. "Can't really blame him, with someone like that to distract him. Does he even *know* he's in love with her?"

The twinge of jealousy that Justin felt at that made him laugh out loud at himself. "I don't know. I was trying to drop hints earlier and it was just ... I don't know. He's got blinders on, I guess, even though he tried awful hard to convince *me* of all her good qualities when he thought I was straight." He turned to face Joey a little more directly. "How early did you know, about me?"

"That you weren't straight?" asked Joey, reaching out to brush the back of Justin's hand with his knuckle. "Or that I was interested in you? Mind you, they were both around the same time anyway ... "

"Both, then," Justin smiled. "I mean, that time outside your class, was that ... when we talked? was that the first time you saw me?" He moved his hand closer to Joey's to encourage that sort of contact, and watched Mandy try to squirm unsuccessfully out of Nick's arms.

"No, I saw you before that," admitted Joey, holding onto Justin's thumb for a moment before letting go. Just the tiniest contact. "I saw you around. I kinda watched you a little... JC knew. It wasn't *entirely* an accident that I ended up talking to you that day, you know."

"You said you saw me outside the gym," Justin remembered. "I just didn't know if that was after ... so it was before? and you watched me? you couldn't have known I'd be there, though. And you *couldn't* have really thought the pookie letter was mine!"

"Well, no," said Joey, pointing a little as Nick tickled the back of Mandy's neck again -- more stroking than tickling, really. "But it made a nice conversation piece, don't you think? Gave me an excuse to talk to you and possibly be a little funny and charming."

"Did you already know my name?" Justin had to ask, smiling a little. At Nick and Mandy, and at Joey and his preparations.

"I may possible have known your name," said Joey, turning his head to grin at Justin, just a little. "I may possibly have asked someone who the cute new guy is. You can prove nothing. So do you want to go say hi to them, or let them keep flirting for a little while longer?"

"If I thought they'd actually *do* anything, I'd say to leave them alone," Justin smiled. "But they'll be mad if we didn't tell them as soon as we could that we were ... um, back together, I guess. Right? Since we are?"

"After all that, we'd better be," said Joey, brushing their hands together yet again. "I don't think I have the energy to do that again. Ever. So just ... we won't. We'll just stay together." He laughed and looked like he almost leaned down to give Justin a kiss, but stopped himself just in time.

Justin lowered his eyes. He'd tell him that he could, but ... not then. Not when he still wanted their kisses to be just for the two of them. "Okay," he said softly, but he took Joey's hand in his -- bravely, he thought -- to make up for it, and led him over to the arcade area.

Joey was obviously startled by the move, but pleasantly so, squeezing Justin's hand as he followed along. Mandy squeaked when she turned around and saw them together, throwing her arms around Justin to give him a hug.

"I *knew* it," she said happily. "I *knew* you guys would get back together."

"Well, you guys did practically threaten my life if we didn't," Justin laughed, kissing her cheek. "Maybe this is just the way I woo guys. You know. Instead of finally letting them beat me at video games."

Mandy blushed and then hugged him again, hiding her face for a moment. "Really, there have to be less stressful ways," she said finally as she let him go.

"Yeah, like just talking to them in the first place," added Nick. "That seems to work pretty well."

"Be nice," murmured Joey, squeezing Justin's hand again. "It *did* work. Some people could learn from this."

Justin squeezed Joey's hand back, then thought of something. "You won't still be mad at JC, right?" he asked, honestly concerned. "Since we worked everything out?" He wasn't sure *when* he'd forget the angry words between the two of them, and the hurt on JC's face.

"That's between me and JC," said Joey, sighing. "Don't even worry about it. Things'll cool down again."

Mandy looked from one to the other and didn't ask. "You guys want to get something to eat?" she asked brightly. "Me and Nick were just gonna, once we finished playing."

"Okay," Justin said, reponding to both, kind of. He pulled his hand back and shoved it in his pocket. "I'll get the pizza. What does everyone want? Nick, Mandy, pepperoni? and Joey, you had a meat lovers last time, right?"

"Yeah, that's my favorite," said Joey, smiling and touching Justin's waist tentatively before pulling his own arm back.

"Double pepperoni," said Nick firmly, before reaching out to smooth a wrinkle in Mandy's dress. He hardly even looked as he did it. "If they have any ready."

"Just cheese for me," said Mandy, looking back over her shoulder at Nick and smiling. "And about a billion napkins 'cause I'm bound to spill on myself, wearing this."

"And I'm sure Nick would be happy to help you out of it," Justin said innocently, then squeaked when Joey pinched him. "What? I'm going, sheesh. Didn't know you were so hungry."

"You know, I'm not stupid," said Nick suddenly, looking up at them. All of them. "And I'm not deaf. I hear what you're saying to me."

Justin froze, and blinked over at Joey guiltily, and Mandy wouldn't meet his eyes. Maybe he'd gone a little too far. "Sorry," he whispered. "I just ... " He couldn't explain that he just wanted them happy, too. But he realized that wasn't his job to make it happen.

"You know," Nick went on. "*Maybe* I've just been picking my moment. And *maybe* I've got something planned for tonight when Mandy comes over. And *maybe* it involves dinner and music and a little something I bought her last week. And *maybe* we're gonna do this right and not like a couple other schmucks we know. But since you're so hell-bent on seeing it happen ... " He rolled his eyes at them both and turned to Mandy, who had a bit of an awestruck look on her face. "Hey," he said softly, smiling as soon as he looked at her. "You wanna go out with me, maybe?"

Mandy couldn't seem to get any words out, but she also couldn't tear her eyes away from him. A grin spread slowly across her face and she finally managed to answer him by leaning in and and kissing him firmly.

"Aww," Justin breathed, and reached for Joey's hand again. That was about the sweetest thing he'd ever heard.

Joey hung on tight and didn't seem to be willing to let go anymore. "Wow," he said softly. "That sure was a long time coming. But look at them."

They looked wonderful, and so right together, and so wrapped up in one another that they didn't seem to remember that there were other people around. Justin was sure it would pass in a moment, and they'd be back to themselves again with just a little something extra now, and they'd all go and get their pizza and hang out together. And that was great.

But right at that moment, with Nick and Mandy holding each other and Joey holding his hand and everything finally falling into place, all was suddenly right with the world.