"Please," JC said softly, to the whimpering baby on her back in his lap, trying to distract her with a toy and with a pacifier and with the long curls of his hair and nothing was working. "Please, Bri. Don't wake your daddy up. He was already upset with me 'cause of the paint thing. Please, angel."

The baby wasn't loud, exactly, but JC hadn't taken her away from the small room off of Joey's bedroom where she slept yet. He was sleepy too, and mortally afraid of dropping her. Still.

It was already too late, though. Joey had become attuned to any noises that the baby made -- even a little squeal was enough to drag him out of a deep slumber -- and was standing in the doorway, yawning widely.

"She's supposed to have a nap, Jace," he said, stumbling over the words a little. "You still playing with her?" Joey couldn't have known that she'd already napped and gotten back up again, in the time that JC was letting him catch up on some sleep.

"No, just trying to get her to go down," JC admitted, finally just letting the little girl suck on the tip of his pinky finger. "Um. You can go back to sleep. I promise I'll remember her blanket and everything." He looked back down at her. "How old until she can sleep in bed with us sometimes? You, I mean. Sleep with you."

"Us," Joey corrected him right back again, with a sleepy smile. "Not for a while yet. She's still small enough she could get smothered." Finally he couldn't resist the temptation any longer and came into the room, kneeling at JC's side and brushing his fingers over his baby's soft, fine hair. "Hey baby," he whispered to her. "Hey baby, daddy's here."

JC sat back up straight, giving Joey as much room as he needed and feeling his heart clench a little. He wasn't anywhere near as great with the baby as Joey was, but he was really trying. "I know, not for a while," he whispered, holding her still so Joey could touch her -- at least until he decided to take her himself. "It's just, it's like dogs, you know. Curling up with people and sleeping better." "I know," said Joey softly. "I can't wait either, Jace. Look at her ... she's still so tiny and perfect. It's hard to imagine her ever getting big. Here, let me ... " He reached out to curl his arms under Brianna and lift her up against his chest. "I'm just gonna hold her a little while, till she gets sleepy. You think maybe she was missing me?"

JC bit his lip and nodded, carefully untangling his arm from Joey's since his finger had still been in her mouth. "I bet she did," he said honestly. "I know I do. I was."

"Oh, that's sweet," said Joey, leaning in to give him a fleeting kiss before standing up and rocking Brianna in his arms as he paced. "She's a fussy little thing today, isn't she? Did she eat yet?"

"Um?" JC said, slowing getting to his feet, too, and cracking his back. "I don't remember? She had her 6:00; is it time for her to eat again already?" He was so bad, with the time things. As bad as Joey was surprisingly good.

"She already had her ... ?" began Joey in confusion. "Wait, Jace, what time *is* it?" He glanced around the room looking for a clock that wasn't there.

JC glanced down at his wristwatch. "Um, a little after 9?" he said sheepishly. He *thought* she didn't eat until 10. But maybe 9, maybe that was why she woke up. "I can go get her bottle, if, you know ... "

Joey was just staring at him, his expression unreadable. "I slept for four hours?" he said blankly. "You let me sleep for four hours?" Then he broke out into a grin and swooped in to give JC another kiss, Brianna still carefully cradled against him. "Oh, bless you, Jace. I can't believe it."

"What?" JC said, happy but confused. "You were so tired, and I ... I didn't *do* anything, Joey, promise. I was, um, laying down with you a little too, so. It's no big deal." He didn't understand Joey sometimes, especially when it came to his daughter. The things JC tried to do always backfired, and when he didn't do anything, Joey always made it sound like such a sacrifice.

"It is a big deal," he insisted. "That's maybe the biggest chunk of sleep I've had in ... forever. Thank you." He stood back up again and continued rocking her and JC noticed her eyes had closed and she'd stopped fussing. Just that easily. "She shouldn't need to eat yet, not for another hour or so. Though you can feed her early, if she seems to really want it."

"No, I think ... I don't know why she was up," JC sighed. "Probably did just miss you. I was about to sing to her, but I know ... I'm still not so sure she likes it."

"Well, if she fell asleep right after her last meal, it's no wonder she's up again," said Joey, sounding unconcerned and very much awake now. Which meant there went JC's time with the baby. "You could sing for us anyway, you know. She's my baby, she's gotta love your voice as much as I do."

"She's also Kelly's baby," JC said darkly, looking at the ground so he didn't have to see Joey's face. "Which means she probably doesn't." He wrapped his arms around himself and then grimaced and wiped baby slobber off on his thigh. "I'll just ... maybe I'll go get her bottle ready, so you can give it to her when you think she should have it."

"Hey," said Joey gently, the way he always did when JC got like that. He wasn't sure anymore if it was genuine or just reflex. "Kelly isn't the one raising her. Kelly's the one that decided she wasn't ready to have a baby in her life. And I am very, very sure that Brianna appreciates what you do for her. Including singing."

"I'll just get the bottle," JC said, back up into the bedroom to find his tee shirt -- or maybe Joey's, if he could get away with it -- before he went downstairs. He knew he did a lot for Brianna, and he knew that Joey knew it too. It still didn't feel ... enough, though. Sometimes.

Joey watched him from the doorway to Brianna's room. "Jace," he said, still so damn gentle. "You ... " Then he sighed and began moving again as Brianna started to make noises. "I love you, okay?"

JC just nodded, not trusting himself to reply right then, and pulled on the shirt Joey'd been wearing before JC had stripped it off him to get him in bed to nap earlier. It *smelled* like him and JC was hit with a wave of aching want to be close to him, but just ran down the stairs to try and do something useful.

He lingered over the bottle, making sure it was just exactly right and the exact right temperature and even used the sparkly bottle that Brianna seemed to like best. There would be nothing to complain about, nothing at all. This, at least, he wanted to make sure he got right.

Joey was still pacing with her when he returned, but back and forth across his own, much larger, bedroom now. And JC couldn't hear it very well, it was so soft, but he thought Joey might be singing to her.

He almost dropped the bottle, which was stupid, stupid, because Joey sang to her all the time, it was just. Just that singing her to sleep was something that JC actually tried to do, tried to make a habit of doing, and Joey would let him, and all of his earlier concerns and worries and paranoias about just being in the way came back tenfold.

He cleared his throat. "Is she ready for this? 'cause I can just ... take it back, if ... "

Joey turned to him and smiled. "She might be," he admitted, walking towards him. "Why don't you take her, Jace, and see if she wants to take the bottle." The offer was so unexpected, since Joey was awake and not busy and could have done it himself, that JC hardly knew how to respond.

"But Joey," JC started, too slow, because there he was, pulling JC's arms out and nestling his daughter into the crook of one of them. "She's better with you ... " he continued weakly.

Brianna reached out right away and batted at the bottle, removing any notion that she might want to be anywhere else right then. "Look," said Joey, sounding so perfectly content. "She likes sparkly things. Just like you. Go ahead, Jace ... "

"Joey," JC sighed, then walked carefully over to the loveseat that Joey always sat in to feed her. Big enough for the three of them. He hesitated, though, before giving her his finger again. Sometimes that made her more likely to want to eat after. WHen he did it, at least.

"I wanted to talk to you about some stuff anyway," he said, resting hand on the small of his back and encourating him to sit. "And I may be making large hand gestures while I do it, so it's probably best that Brianna's in *your* arms." He smiled at the both of them fondly, and didn't seem to be in any hurry to take her back this time.

"Um, okay," JC nodded, sitting down carefully and managing to get a pillow fixed just right behind his back, even without a free hand. "What kind of stuff?" He smiled back; he could never help it, when it came to Joey's smiles.

"I was thinking," said Joey, slipping comfortably into the seat next to him. "And I know we've talked about this before and I know what we said about it but that was before, and ... I want you to move in with me. All the way."

JC almost dropped the bottle again, then blinked and slipped his finger out of Brianna's mouth and gave it to her, just for something to do. What 'they' said about it before was really what *Joey* said about it before, and ... JC didn't know what to say.

"Jace?" he said, sounding a little less confident now, his voice trembling only enough for someone like JC to notice it. Brianna sucked happily away at her sparkly bottle, taking care of that problem, at least. "I mean it."

"Joey," JC said, and it came out just ridiculously breathy and smitten and tender. "I'm not ... are you sure? I mean, why? I *mean* ... why now?"

"There are a few reasons," he said honestly, looking at his hands. "And a few things have happened, since the last time we talked about it. Some you know about and some ... you probably don't. And I want you to."

"Well ... okay," JC said, getting a little worried, and shifting Brianna to his other arm like she was some kind of shield between them. "You know you can tell me anything, Joey. I ... I love you. I always have, since ... I just. Always. So yes. Just tell me."

"I *am* telling you," said Joey with a little laugh. "It's just. The most important, the *biggest* thing of them all, is that I want you to be here. I love you and Brianna loves you and we want you to be here."

JC looked down at the little girl in question, thinking her daddy was pretty crazy if he thought she loved JC -- yet, at least -- but he didn't protest, because Joey got agitated when anyone implied he didn't know what his daughter thought. "Um. Okay," he said, happy with that, but knowing there was more to it.

"Good, okay," said Joey, satisfied. "And ... look, JC. I know I've been kinda hard on you. I've been as hard on you as I've been on myself, about how to take care of Brianna. And that's totally not fair to you ... you didn't ask to be made into Brianna's other daddy, I just kinda forced it on you. But you've been amazing. Really. There's no one I trust her with more."

He almost dropped *Brianna* at that. It was the last thing he expected to hear; the last thing. He *hadn't* been amazing, he messed up all the time. "Joey, she's your *daughter.* You *should* be hard on me, with her. I just ... can I say, it's just ... I kind of thought. the other way around. Like ... I just haven't left, yet, and so I've kind of been forcing me and all my bad skills on you and ... her other daddy? what?"

"Shhh," said Joey soothingly, to both of them. "I'm sorry, JC. I shouldn't just call you that, without you wanting to be that. It's just how I think of it in my head, the way you're always here whenever one of us needs you. You should be here *all* the time, JC. You should move in with us. If you want that."

He wasn't sure how Joey could think he didn't, especially since ... since he always had, he was always the one pushing for more and longer and better and more serious and everything. "That's not why," he said finally. "The daddy thing. I'm just. You're so good at it. And ... I'm not her daddy. I mean. I'd love to be, *I* think of myself that way, sometimes, when I forget to stop myself, but. I'm bad. At it, and not her dad. You're, like, born to do it."

Joey frowned at him suddenly, looking down to Brianna and back up to JC's face again. "Jace?" he said, reaching out to touch him. "You're not ... I mean ... why do you think you're *bad* at it? You're wonderful. I rely on you so much."

"No, I know, you do," JC nodded. It was the type of thing they'd finally been able to say to each other out loud. "And me too. But that doesn't really have a lot to do with her." He looked back down. "I mean. It's nice how you let me try to take care of her, and feel important, but I know I get in the way kind of. I know. So you're just surprising me with this."

"Jace ... it has *everything* to do with her. I was worried at first, you know ... about how I'd be with here and how you'd be with her and oh my god a *baby*. But you've been my other half, ever since she's been born. We've shared all of it. Don't you know that, JC? You've never been in the way."

JC didn't know that, but he knew it was him, and nothing Joey was doing or not doing. "I love her," he said quietly. "I love her like she's mine, too, Joey. I just couldn't presume. And she scares me. And makes me jealous a lot. But mostly I love her."

"You wouldn't be presuming," said Joey, and it sounded like that was the whole point of this conversation, maybe. "Ever since she was born, JC, you and I have been raising her like she was hours. And the only thing wrong with the happy picture is that you don't live here, too. You stay here all the time, but you don't live here. And I want you to. She knows your face as well as mine, JC. You *have* been a father to her, whether we called it that or not."

"But ... all the reasons, Joey," JC said, watching the little girl suckle happily at the bottle and bat at his hands. "The moving in reasons, they haven't gone away. It's ... I'll just keep my house, you're right, it's smarter, it's better ... "

"I've changed my mind about that," said Joey, which just floored JC. "I don't think that's the best solution anymore. Unless you want that. I want us to be a family and ... and sure, sure people will question it if they find out but it's none of their business and we don't have to address it. I don't want this to be tentative anymore. I want it to be committed."

"Joey," JC said. "Um. Can you please take her? I just ... you know where you're going with this, and obviously I don't, and I. Just. Please?" He waited for Joey to hold his hands out before even thinking of budging from his position, though.

Joey took Brianna into his arms comfortably, and made sure the nipple was still firmly in her mouth before looking up at JC again. "I'm not talking about doing anything drastic, about our relationship. I guess ... do you want this, too? Do you want to be her full-time daddy with me?"

JC rubbed at a spot of milk on his shirt. Joey's shirt. "I ... you know I'd love to, Joey. But. What does, um. Kelly have to say about it."

"That's ... that's the other thing," said Joey, looking serious again. "That's the part that I knew you didn't know about, cause ... cause I talked to Kelly a couple days ago, JC, and I've really been thinking about this since then." He took a deep breath. "She's not coming back anymore. She's giving up her parental rights to Brianna. I mean ... I'm giving her some money to live on and she'll have visitation rights and the lawyers are drawing something up as we speak, but ... yeah. She doesn't have any say in it, not anymore."

He felt his jaw drop. There was absolutely no love lost between him and Kelly, he knew this, but he still was amazed that was what it had come to. That she would ever go that far. Or ... decide not to go that far, as the case seemed to be. "Oh ... oh, Joey," he said, when he could speak, reaching for his face and doing his best not to jostle the baby. "Are you ... are you okay? You should have told me. Not even because of the baby but just. Because of us, so I could be there for you."

"No, I'm okay," said Joey instantly, looking more weary than anything for just a moment. "This is her choice, she doesn't want to be tied down right now and I won't stop her. It's just ... that's not the whole thing either, JC. I'm ... I'm kinda having the lawyers draw up something else, too, while they're at it. Because if she doesn't want to share custody of Brianna with me, well, I think I know someone who might want to. Andwho deserves to a hundred times more than she does, too." And that was it, the final piece falling into place.

"Oh. My god," JC said, lifting his hand to his mouth. "Oh, god. Joey, you're ... " He couldn't be serious. He could *not* be serious. "Me?" he squeaked. "You want me to ... to, what, um. Like, adopt her?"

"She's already yours -- ours -- JC. This would just make it official. Make it so that no one can say you're not just as important in her life. And in mine."

"Joey!" JC just didn't know what to say, and he couldn't climb into Joey's lap like he wanted to, because there was already someone there. He leaned over to look at her instead. "I'm ... I'm just shocked. Are you sure? Are we allowed?"

"It's legal," Joey promised him. "She's already biologically mine, so I can arrange stuff like this. It's not an adoption, technically, but you'd have full rights to be able to make decisions for her. You'd ... you'd be responsible for her, JC, and I don't want to push that on you if you don't want it. But I want you do do this with me. All the way."

"I don't want it to come between us," JC said, seriously, after a moment. "Like. It was enough for you to ask. Really, Joey. But ... if you think it could mess us up, I can't do it."

Joey blinked at him a few times, suddenly looking very tired and very unhappy. "You don't ... want to?" he said softly. "Um. Okay. I mean, that's why I gave you the choice, I guess. I just thought you'd ... I'm sorry, JC. I won't bring it up again."

"No!" JC blurted, loudly enough that Brianna stopped sucking and looked over her head for the source of the noise. "No, I *want* to. I'm so ... you don't know how much. I'm just trying to tell you that you come first, for me. Which ... I don't know. Maybe seems like it shouldn't be, if I'm going to be a good dad."

Joey paused and made sure Brianna was sucking away happily again before speaking again. "I want my baby to grow up knowing you as a parent, JC," he said simply, some of the sadness already gone from his eyes. "That's what I want for her, and I think she'll grow up to be a better person because of it. But it's up to you."

JC touched her hair. "It feels like something I shouldn't decide right away, even though I already know my answer," he said softly. "I just ... I'm still surprised you want me to be that, for her. I'm not saying I'm not good for *you*, but ... her?"

"You don't have to decide right now," Joey promised him, pulling the empty bottle away from Brianna's mouth. "You wanna grab me a soother, Jace? She's gonna start whimpering in a second and i don't have a better way to ward it off ... "

"Oh, yeah, sure," JC nodded automatically, rolling off the loveseat and grabbing the diaper bag he'd left by the door. The pacifier was right where he'd left it and he smiled shyly when he sat back on the sofa to hand it to his lover.

Joey popped it in her mouth and she started sucking right away, her eyes drifting shut. "Huh, you were right, a little food was all it took," he said, smiling first at her and then at JC again. "Take all the time you need, Jace, the lawyers aren't gonna be done drafting everything for a while, anyway. Just know that it's something that I want. You have to know that I wouldn't just ask something like that of you if I didn't really, really mean it. She's my baby girl, JC, and I trust her with you. I trust you with her."

JC finally let himself grin the way he wanted to. "Really?" he asked happily. "Really, Joey, you do? I'm ... I do just adore her, and I try really really hard. But. I still, just that you'd share her with me, that's ... " He just shook his head and breathed.

"As far as I'm concerned, JC, I already do," said Joey, his voice even softer now that Brianna was drifting off to sleep. "The paperwork is just a technicality. I'm sorry that you never knew that, that I never made that clear enough to you."

"It's okay," JC shook his head. "I promise it's okay, Joey, I ... gosh. Can we put her down? I just ... really need to touch you, and maybe let you get some more rest ... "

"I was gonna do that as soon as I was sure she wasn't gonna wake up as soon as I moved," said Joey, carefully cradling the tiny girl in his arms as he stood up. "I really need to touch you too, JC. Convince you how sincere I'm being here. Let you know just *how* much I love you."

JC peered over his shoulder as they both walked into the other room, draping himself all over Joey's back, feeling himself practically glaring at Brianna - his future daughter! - and daring her to wake up. He wasn't sure when he got *so* protective, and selfish about him, but he'd fallen hard and permanently.

Joey lay her gently on her back in the crib and pulled the soft yellow blankets over her. "Oh JC," he said softly. "She's just so beautiful, sometimes I can't even believe she's mine."

"Nothing you've ever done in your life hasn't been beautiful," JC told him, still hooking his chin over Joey's shoulder. "She's just ... yeah. Like, the physical, um, evidence, or something. She is lovely, Joey."

"Our baby's gonna grow up to be a beautiful girl," Joey insisted, gazing at her for a long time before finally turning away and just about bumping noses with JC. "I love you, Jace. You've already been here every step of the way. She's my own flesh and blood ... but she's as much yours as mine."

JC shook his head, but couldn't really speak under the intensity of the way Joey was looking at him. He just started backing up, tilting his head toward Joey's bedroom. They *did* have a lot to talk about, and he *did* want Joey to sleep some more.

Joey reached out to take his hand as they left the room together, walking back into the bedroom. "Take some time to think about it," said Joey again, obviously trying not to push to hard. "It was just something we really needed to talk about. Need to talk about. When you're ready."

"I'm still so surprised," he whispered, closing the door partway. "Whether or not I thought you thought of me like this, for her, it's still ... this is serious. We don't even ... it's more serious than any way we've committed to each *other*."

"It is," agreed Joey, his hand warm in JC's. "I know that. But in another way ... in another way it's a way we *can* commit to one another. Legally. Which we can't do in a lot of other ways. Or do you mean ... emotionally? Am I going too fast, Jace?"

"No, god, no," he laughed, just grinning when Joey blinked at him. "Don't even ... don't play dumb like that, Joey. You know that isn't it. It's ... it's *always* been you, helping to keep us ... steady. If that's a good word for it. When I've rushed ahead."

"Then you know how much *I* consider this a commitment," said Joey, tugging him toward the bed when JC paused. "She's the most precious thing in the world to me. You know how much this has to mean."

"Do you promise to go to sleep if I get in there with you?" JC asked, setting aside the whole Brianna thing for the moment -- his head was already just pounding with it.

"Do you promise we can talk more about this later, once you've thought about it?" countered Joey, punctuating it with a wide yawn as he already started stretching out.

"We couldn't not," JC agreed, pulling back the blankets on his side of Joey's bed and, after a small hesitation, tugging the tee shirt he'd stolen back off. "I'm sorry she woke you, earlier, Joe."

"Don't be sorry about that," said Joey immediately. "She's a baby. Babies fuss. I can't believe you kept her settled enough to let me get four straight hours of sleep. You're a miracle worker, Jace, you really are."

"I didn't really do anything," JC said, unbuttoning his jeans but leaving them on. "I mean. I just heard her, and. fed her, I guess. I remembered the schedule this time."

"You did what she needed you to do," confirmed Joey with a sleepy smile, snuggling into the bed with little more encouragement than JC had already given him. "And you did it automatically, and you *knew* what she needed from you. And you still say you make all these mistakes with her, JC? No more than any parent, I guarantee you that."

"I guess I just feel bad when I do," JC said quietly, watching Joey settle into the sheets and turn his cheek on the pillow to face him. "It's not ... natural yet, is all. Um, yet."

"Everyone feels bad when they do," Joey assured him, leaning in to give him the softest kiss. "*That's* natural. But ... just think about it, JC. You know how I feel about it, now. You know what I want to share with you."

"Joey," JC said softly, trying to keep him from pulling back. "Are you *sure* you're sure about this? That you think I can do it? This is your *baby* we're talking about. And I've been known to forget less important things."

"I've thought about it a lot, JC," he said, his eyes meeting JC's and holding them. "This isn't a car, this isn't something I can afford to treat frivolously. This *is* my baby and don't act like I've suddenly forgotten that. I know what I'm doing."

"I didn't mean to make you upset," JC said softly. "I wasn't acting like that. Anything I say, today, it's just ... just still surprise. I mean ... why *me*? what can I offer her that you already don't?"

"You're my partner," he said simply. "I would never ask anyone else to do this with me. And you're *already* doing it, JC, it won't be anything new. It'll just be some legal documents that say if god forbid something happens to her, you can give permission for the hospital to take care of her. Means you can sign her permission slips for school. Means you can do all those things without coming to me first."

"Oh," JC blinked, finally understanding all that. "Oh, wow, that's serious. Wow. But ... no, okay, yes. I will. Because if something *did* happen and there wasn't you and ... yes. God. Yes, I *want* to, Joey. Do you think she'll want me to, when she's old enough to know?"

"Oh, of course she will," said Joey, smiling happily at him. "She knows your face as well as mine, JC, you know she does. She probably *already* thinks you're her daddy, she's never known anything different. You aren't a stranger walking into her life, you're raising her with me."

"You do let me spend a lot of time with her," JC admitted, starting to grin again. "And, um. I can still sing to her and stuff, right? the nighttime songs? without having to ask you?"

Joey laughed softly. "Like I'd ever want to discourage you from doing that," he said. "So does that mean you're going to move in with me? All of it?"

"I'm keeping the house," JC said, firmly, because if he didn't then Joey would convince him to sell anything. "But ... no. yeah. I'll move all my stuff in. Are we ... in here, even? or in 'my' room?"

"Fine, keep the house," said Joey with a wry grin, "but i'm keeping *you*. Yes, in here, with me, with your half of the dresser and your half of the closet and the whole thing. You can keep the other room for your art, if you want, we'll just replace the carpet with something more practical. And the one next to it, I think that's the bedroom I've decided on for Brianna, when she gets bigger. You think? It's got those nice big windows so there's always lots of light, and it faces out toward the pool, so no one can spot her from the street ... "

"Like all the boys that'll be throwing rocks at her window when she grows up," JC teased, getting just as excited as Joey seemed to be. "No, that's ... that's great. And, um, that way I can just go back over there when I'm working on something in the studio. Maybe even expand it, since I won't need the living space as much. Joey! God, this is ... wow. What I've been wanting and never thought I'd have. I *love* your daughter for it."

Joey gave him another soft kiss. "Even without Brianna, JC, we would have done this. Maybe not just now, but we would have. You know I always wanted it, too, with you, I just wanted to be sure it was the right time. And now, with everything that's happened and that's happening, it's just ... the right time, I think."

JC smiled and kissed him back, just basking in being in Joey's bed -- which was gonna be *their* bed, for real. "I've wanted it forever," he said again. "Wanted *you* forever. I *didn't* think we'd get here."

"Have a little faith in me," teased Joey tenderly. "I may be a little slower than you, but I get where I'm going sooner or later. We'll have to talk about what kinds of changes you want to make around here. And I'll get in touch with the lawyers again, get your name on the deed." He p ut a finger to JC's lips to avert any protests he might've made. "No argument there. If you don't want to do it for me, do it for our baby."

"That's not for the baby!" JC protested, giggling and nipping at Joey's finger. "What does having my name on the house have to do with the baby. You're so silly." He grinned a little and ducked his head. "Can I put your name on mine?"

"If it makes you feel better about it," said Joey, managing to smile and look serious at the same time. "And it *could* be for the baby. Because ... I mean ... if something ever happened to me ... well, the place would go to you automatically. No mess."

JC's smile disappeared. Joey *knew* how JC got whenever he thought about that; whenever he had to remember the time that Joey had his leg crushed and how easily it could have been his chest or his neck or his head. "Don't say that," he murmured.

"I'm not saying it's gonna happen," insisted Joey soothingly. "And that's not even *why* I'm doing it. I'm doing it because I want to share my whole life with you. The other is just a just-in-case thing. I take care of the people I love, JC, and that includes the both of you."

"I know you do, Joe," JC said. He did, it was one of the things he'd loved first about him. "God. I mean. I know we were serious, and I know what I meant to you. But this is like ... family. We're family, now, even more than we're family with Just and Chris and Lance."

"That's exactly what I want it to be," said Joey. "I want Brianna to grow up with a family. I want to *be* a family with you. And I won't be scared anymore of what people might think or say because I love you and I love her and that's what matters."

"I love you back," JC whispered, kissing him, then kissing his nose and his cheek. "So, um. Think you can go back to sleep, hon?"

"Only cause you're insisting," said Joey, already buried in the pillows and blankets, even as they talked. He looked ready to drop at any moment. "And maybe a little because I know enough to take any sleep I can get these days. You too?"

"Not right now," JC said. "But I will. I just. I'm happy touching you, still. This is just the ... best surprise, Joey, the best thing. I love you. I'll be right here if you wake up. I love you." He knew he said it too much but Joey always smiled when he did. Always.

"I count on it," said Joey, giving him one last loving look before closing his eyes. "We both do. We can talk more later, JC." His last words were mumbled, but he was still just aware enough to reach out and wrap an arm around JC, ensuring that he wasn't going anywhere."

* * *

"We really do have to pick one," said Joey, laying out the paint chips on the table. "The painters are coming tomorrow and it's gonna be a waste of their time if they don't know what they're painting. Just ... no pink. I know how much you like it, but we don't want to be stereotypical ... "

JC tried not to pout as he looked at the rest of the choices. "Yellow's even more stereotypical," he sulked, even though he liked the yellow too. "How about the peach one? It's not *pink*. Then we can do orange sheets and stuff and it'll be all bright and pretty." He still wanted to do the room *himself*, but Joey was probably right that it would take them ten times as long.

"Well ... that's different," said Joey, looking at them consideringly. "I was thinking about green, but ... it doesn't seem much like a little kid color, does it. Neutral, but kinda unexciting. The peach is ... you know, that is kinda pretty."

JC knew he just beamed at him, and got down out of his chair to kneel by Joey's knees at the table. "And look," he said, pointing at the cream one. "We can have them do the windowsills and moldings and ceiling in that. Which is better than white. Like, it'll soften the brightness. Yeah?"

Joey considered for another moment, and JC held his breath. "Yeah," he said finally. "Yeah, I think I really could grow to like that. And I was thinking, JC ... Brianna's gonna be with my mom all tomorrow and overnight, because of the paint, so after we go and sign those papers, did you maybe want to go shopping? Pick out her furniture ourselves?"

JC clapped his hands together but managed not to squeak. "Yes!" he said. "Yes. Um. Are we getting the bed and stuff, like, for when she's older? 'cause she's still sleeping in the crib in that little alcove for a *little* longer, right?"

"Oh yeah, this is for a little while down the road," he said with a gentle laugh. "She'll be in that crib for a while yet. But we should get that room furnished while we have the time on our hands to do it, maybe find some cool stuff for her. To match the peach walls, of course."

JC pushed on Joey's leg until he moved it so he could slip inside it, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his thigh. "We can stencil little animals, like puppies and ducks, on the dresser," he said. "Maybe?"

Joey grinned down at him, looking like he was verging on laughing again. But JC knew when it was going to be one of his just happy laughs, and the way Joey's eyes were sparkling, it was. "I'm gonna leave that in your hands," he said. "You just tell me where to put the paint and I will. That would be just adorable."

"Thanks, Joey," he replied. "I think she'll like it. I think Brianna seems like she'd like animals. Um ... do you think maybe we could get something for us, too? Like .. like a housewarming present for each other?"

If it was possible, Joey looked even happier. "Did you have something in mind," he asked, resting his hand against the back of JC's head. "That you wanted us to get, for us?"

JC chewed on his lip, not even having thought that far. "No," he said, apologetically. "I ... no. I'm stupid. Hold on, I'll ... we'll think of something ... "

"Oh, you are not," said Joey dismissively. "Half the fun is just shopping for it, looking for just the right thing." Except Joey wasn't the one who liked shopping so much; JC was. "We'll know when we see it, we don't have to decide right now. So that sounds like a good plan, then? For tomorrow?"

"It's a *great* plan," JC insisted, smiling again at the prospect. "And I can buy the furniture, right, since you're paying the painters?" He pressed in closer between Joey's legs, squeezing him tight.

It didn't really matter who paid for what, but at the same time it *mattered*, as far as being a part of everything that was happening. "Sure," said Joey easily. "You know all the best stores anyway. You probably already have charge accounts at them."

"I do not," JC blushed, although he kind of thought he might. "I hope we don't get sick from the paint, either. Maybe ... you don't think we should go spend the night at my place, do you?"

"We'll have to see," said Joey non-commitally. "They're painting in the morning and with ventilation they say we shouldn't even be able to notice it by the evening. Brianna's just gone 'cause she has little baby lungs and I don't want to take any chances. But you and me? Well, let's just see what it's like, after we finish shopping."

"Okay, bossy," JC teased carefully. "I don't want anything happening to those singer lungs of yours either, though."

"We'll *see*," said Joey, grinning at him again. "We can leave tomorrow just as soon as the guy Johnny's sending over to supervise the whole thing gets here. The appointment with the lawyers is at 9:30, right? I think. I know I wrote it down somewhere ... "

"It's on the fridge," JC reminded him, pulling on Joey's shirt to get more attention. "Then what, after shopping?? We'll have the whole night to ourselves ... "

Joey licked his lips and looked like he was thinking about that, when JC knew Joey knew what he was gonna say all along. "Maybe that's what we ought to be getting for ourselves," he said finally. "A brand new bed. That we can break in while we have the place to ourselves."

"Joey," JC blushed. He hadn't even meant that, not really, but he figured that deep down that's how he wanted Joey to interpret it. He pushed himself up on his knees a little so their faces were closer. "Um. Maybe. I mean. You know I like your sleigh bed, but. Maybe we can get one with, um. bedposts?"

Joey did laugh this time, loudly and happily, just the way JC liked it. "You got any fantasies you want to tell me about?" he teased. He already knew, they. They both already knew that kind of thing. "Let's keep our eyes open, then. And you know ... if we don't do what we're talking about doing ... the bed's also good for catching up on the zillion hours of sleep we both need ... "

JC glanced back down and nodded. He loved Brianna almost more than anything, but there were still times he wanted his old Joey back.

"Mostly?" he went on. "I just want to spend it with you, JC. No interruptions, no nothing. And comfortable knowing that Brianna is with my mom and there's no one who raises kids better than her, just about."

"She's a great mom," JC agreed, still looking down. "I want to be with you too, Joe. If you need to sleep, we don't ... we don't even really need to go shopping tomorrow. There's no real rush."

"JC," said Joey softly. "Jace. Come on, baby, don't do this ... I'm looking forward to it. It was my *idea*, remember? And I'm not the only one who needs a little more sleep, don't think I don't see the bags under *your* eyes. Do you want me to see if mom can take Bri a little earlier? Maybe tonight? And let us get a good night's sleep *before* we do everything tomorrow?"

"But then you won't see her for almost two days," JC protested, rubbing his face, knowing that Joey was loathe to do that when he didn't have to because of touring. "And I'm not tired. I get, like, ten times as much sleep as you." Even though that was less true, lately.

"You don't, baby," said Joey, echoing that thought. "And I know it's two days, but ... " He looked back at where Brianna was babbling away to herself in her playpen, clenching a stuffed rabbit in her fist and bashing it repeatedly against the floor next to her. JC could see the love and longing in his eyes. "Sometimes you need that little break."

"Don't do it for me," JC finally said, not sure how to interpret *what* he was seeing in Joey's face. "Okay? If you want to, then ... then that's great, and I know we could use the rest. But don't do it because you think it's what I want."

"I'm tired, JC," he said after a long moment, reaching up to rub his eyes for a moment. "Remember how tired we were when we first started out? All that touring, all that promoting? I'm even tireder than that. I never want to be away from her, but maybe I should ... just for a couple days ... make it just you and me."

JC wanted that desperately, for Joey even more than himself, but it couldn't be something he suggested. "I'm sure Phyllis would adore to have her stay a little longer," he said soothingly. "I know you're tired. You're ... you're still doing too much. You don't let me help enough."

"I never figured on being a single father, said Joey wearily. "And I'm not single. So JC, you have to make me, sometimes." Joey blinked his eyes a few times and suddenly looked more alert again, a trick of the trade. "You need to make me give up a little control. You have every right to. Will you maybe feel more comfortable doing it after we sign those papers tomorrow?"

JC just nodded, feeling very sad and tired for the love of his life. Even though they were just talking about such happy things earlier. "I just ... never want you upset with me," he explained. "I never want to give you a reason to snap at me. I think if you ever did, I'd ... it'd kill me, Joey, it would."

"Don't let it," insisted Joey, holding onto him a little tighter. "Don't let it, JC. I'm not perfect, and one of these days I'm probably gonna snap at you for something and you're probably not going to deserve it at all. And it doesn't mean I don't love you. It just means I trust you enough that I know you won't leave me, even though I can lose my temper, once in a while."

"You lie," JC smiled tentatively. "I've never seen it. I know you're not perfect, Joey, but I've never once known you to lose your temper. So you have to know what I'll think, if you do. I know it won't be that you stopped loving me, or anything, but it'll feel like that. Um. And that's not supposed to be more pressure, either."

"It'll just mean I'm tired and stressed enough to lose it," said Joey, closing his eyes for a minute. "Touring never did that to me, but a baby might, JC. Might. I don't know if it will. I just know that there's nothing you can do that'll make me stop loving you the way I do. So giving me a little push to just let you do something sometimes? Definitely won't ever do that."

"Okay, then," JC nodded, resolving to do that for Joey. Because he really did need to let him help. "Then yes, I will. Once we get the papers signed." He looked up shyly, then started climbing into Joey's lap. "I'm nervous," he whispered.

Joey wrapped his arms around him comfortingly, right away, and that was one of the things that JC missed. Joey having his arms free to do that. "About the papers? How come?"

"Just 'cause," JC replied, hiding his face. "It's important. And. You know. Not really a great track record with other contract-y things I've signed. And this is a much bigger deal. And it affects you."

"We supervised this one every step of the way," Joey reminded him. "We know exactly what's in it. We know exactly what we're sighing. Yeah, it's really big and important and everything, but it's what we both want."

"I know, that's why I'm doing it," JC replied. "But I can still be nervous." He just rested his head against Joey, breathing carefully. "Love you, Joe. So much."

"You know I love you," he said in return, holding JC as securely as he always did. "It's okay to be nervous about it. And I know it's gonna change things, in your head, but just remember ... as far as I'm concerned, it's what you've been to her all along."

"Thank you," JC whispered, then turned his head just enough to watch their daughter for a minute. "She looks happy," he said. "She doesn't look like anything big's about to change, either."

"She's always known that she has two parents that love her very much," said Joey, smiling fondly at him but not before taking a peek back at Brianna again. "It's just her daddies that took their time about sorting it out."

"Her daddies take their time about a lot of stuff like that," JC murmured, remembering how long and how hard it had been for them to get together and even stay together.

"Well, they just like to get it right," said Joey, giving him a lingering kiss like they almost never did when the baby was around, which was always. "And I'd like to think that they do."

"They're getting better," JC smiled, slipping one of his legs over Joey's thigh and moving closer. Unable to resist after being kissed like that. "Even at the stuff they were good at right from the start."

"Be good," said Joey teasingly. Neither of them had forgotten that Brianna was right there, though. "God I love you. Lemme make that call to my mom before I change my mind, then we'll have two nights to ourselves and we can ... recharge. Maybe even twice." And he gave JC a suggestive wink.

JC laughed, and let Joey pick him up and set him on the table when he went to go grab the phone. Giving him a chance to just watch him, and play with the color swatches, and watch him some more. Even as he kept an eye on Brianna.

Joey lounged against the doorframe as he talked to his mom, his eyes downcast most of the time and at his most un-self-conscious. He wasn't even really aware of JC watching, JC didn't think, which made it all the more rare of a moment. And Joey was smiling, so much, so happy with everything that was going on -- that, more than any verbal reassurances, made JC feel more confident about what they were doing.

He swung his legs, rubbed at a scar on his knee, and giggled when Phyllis must have said something about coming over right then to get Brianna and Joey had to protest. JC wondered how much he'd told his mom.

Suddenly Joey looked up and met his eyes and wouldn't let JC look away guiltily. He gave him a smile and blew him a little kiss while obviously listening to his mom saying something to him. A couple minutes later, he finally wrapped up the call.

"So?" he said, smiling, swinging his legs faster. "What'd she say?" He wasn't even blushing at having been caught staring.

"We'll take her over there after we finish feeding her," he said, walking back over to give JC a kiss. "Then mom's gonna feed *us* and send us home for a good night's sleep. She says she was getting ready to kidnap someone if we didn't ask for help soon, so ... yeah, this is the much better solution, I think."

"I love Phyllis," JC grinned, wrapping his ankles around Joey's knees. "She's my best friend ever. D'you think she'd leave your pops for me, if I asked nice? I'll buy her a pretty ring and a Cadillac, even."

"Don't you dare," laughed Joey. "You'll have to settle for her being your mother-in-law and making you huge italian dinners sometimes. Cause you might be able to covince *her*, but I'm not letting you go."

"You're not letting me go?" JC repeated, grinning, slipping his hands around Joey's middle. "What about when Bri spits up on me and I'm all stinky and need to shower?"

"Silly," said Joey fondly. "I'll just had to follow you in. Won't be the first time, after all. There's nothing that'll make me let you go."

"I love you," JC said again. "It makes me so happy to know you wouldn't, anymore. Let me go."

"We did it right," said Joey simply. "We put this thing, this us, together, and we did it right. It's solid. It's ... permanent."

JC cupped his hand behind Joey's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. "It's worth what it took," he agreed, just smiling at him. The special smile that Chris always told him that he only ever gave to Joey.

* * *

"That was your mom," JC said, walking back into the kitchen. "She said your dad's out so they're not bringing Bri back until later." He bit his lip. "Of course, we could go pick her up, if. You know. You need to."

It was hard that Joey had to think about it, but not unexpected. "Well," he said finally, though. "That gives us a little more time together. What do you want to do?"

"Either is okay, really," sighed JC. "I can go get my shoes." He wiggled his bare toes at Joey and tried to smile. He wasn't ready for their time alone to be over.

"Let's give mom a little more time with her granddaughter," said Joey after another pause, finally looking right at JC and smiling. "She'll get her home safe. I ... you know I miss my baby girl like crazy, but a couple extra hours isn't gonna hurt anyone. And it'll give me you."

JC's smile in return almost hurt his face. "Um, so. You want a quick nap? Or I can make you some of that tea we had the other day that you liked. Or watch a quick movie or sit out back or wash the new sheets or ... or anything, Joey. Anything you want."

"Tea and going out back sounds nice," said Joey, standing up and pulling JC into a huge but gentle hug. "I'm feeling kinda domestic. How are you doing? Not freaking out anymore, right?"

"Nope, I'm good," JC promised. "Yesterday was a little ... um, touch-and-go, but. I did it, I signed everything, I don't regret it. I'm kinda nervous to *see* her now, though."

"She's not gonna look at you different, Jace," laughed Joey, letting him go. "And you did, you signed everything and you didn't even hesitate. That was ... that was a pretty special moment, JC. I know it was all official and stuffy and in this really formal office, but still. Special."

"I know, it was," JC nodded, patting his ass. "Go get the cushions? and I'll bring the tea out. And ... I know *she* won't look at me weird. I'm just wondering if I'll look at *her* weird. You know?"

"You won't. She'll still be your precious little Bri. Don't be long, okay?" Joey gave him another kiss before he started heading out back to get things ready for them.

"kay," JC replied, then started singing a little, under his breath, as he boiled the water. He was *not* ready to share Joey again yet, and wondered how long it would be until he'd have him to himself again. He could only hope Brianna'd be tired from all the excitement of the other Fatone house.

He made his way out onto the deck when the tea was ready, and didn't see Joey right away. "Joe?" he called.

"Over here," said Joey, and there he was, clear across the yard, waving to him. "C'mere, Jace, come look at this."

JC just laughed before he even knew what it was, and set down the tea mugs. "What?" he called, giggling as he tried to run across the grass without getting his bare feet too dirty.

"Come look," said Joey, opening one arm to wrap around him and using the other to point back at the house. "There -- that's her room. Look how pretty those curtains you picked out look from here."

"Oh!" JC breathed, when he saw them moving in the halfway-open window. "Oh, Joey, they look great. We did such a great job!" He linked both of his arms around Joey's waist and just stared for a minute. His daughter's room.

"We did," agreed Joey happily. " And see? You can just see the edge of her bed there, if you look in the right way. Oh, oh! We should get her a window seat! Oh, but ... she won't need that until she's older. But still."

"And then," JC nodded, "bars on her windows. When she's older." He grinned up at Joey and squeezed a little.

Joey looked surprised, then grinned back, then laughed. "See? You've already got the hand of this fathering thing. No problem."

"Just saves you from scaring the boys off with the gun," JC teased him. "I know you better than you know yourself, Fatone."

"Ain't nothing saying I can't do that too," insisted Joey, still staring up at the window. "Or .... or it could be girls. We can't assume, JC. You and I oughta know better than that."

"Even more reason for the gun," JC mused. "Girls'll break your heart easier'n guys any day of the week."

They both knew a bit about that, and Joey held JC a little tighter for it. "Well, whatever it turns out to be -- *how*ever she turns out to be -- you and I are gonna love our girl to pieces."

"Yep," JC agreed, thinking that Brianna was probably the only person in the world that could share JC's heart with Joey. "You want your tea, now, daddy?"

Joey laughed and squeezed him and finally dragged his eyes away from the bedroom window. "That sounds great," he said, taking the first step back toward the deck. "A couple more hours of relaxation before we both get all wound up again."

JC smiled to himself, following. "I love you," he said under his breath, not really intending Joey to hear, but not minding if he did. "So *damn* much."

Joey grabbed hold of JC's hand and squeezed it and JC thought maybe he *had* heard it, but he didn't say anything. Just led them back to the deck and sat them down comfortably and looked out over their vast back yard before taking his first sip of the tea.

"You think you rested enough?" JC asked, climbing out of his chair almost immediately to sit between Joey's legs on his. "You ready to have her back?"

"I'm ready," insisted Joey. JC thought, though, that Joey would probably have said that even if he was dead tired. "I miss her, JC. I keep wondering how she's doing, *what* she's doing, how mom and everyone are treating her. I guess ... this is what it's like to be a parent, huh? Your kid is never far from your mind."

"Guess so," JC smiled, snuggling down against Joey's belly. "And Joe, you know your mom loves her more than anything. She's just spoiling her to death, like her uncle Justin does."

"I know, I know," said Joey, perfectly comfortable with JC that way. "But still, I wonder. Do you? Wonder about her when she's gone, wonder what she's doing?"

"Sure," JC said lightly, even though he knew it wasn't as much as Joey did. Not yet. JC was a worrier, and a clinger, and he'd get to that point soon enough. "But I wonder less when you're around to distract me."

"Well, I might admit to a little bit of that," said Joey, stroking his hair fondly. JC loved to see him like this, rested and comfortable and all his attention focused on JC, even if just for a little while. "Last night was really great. I've missed that."

JC sighed contentedly. "I've missed it too. Just ... being able to do whatever, wherever, whenever. I love the way you can still get me hard and wanting you so bad, just by looking at me the right way."

"I'm a little out of practice," admitted Joey with a light chuckle. "Good to know I still affect you that way. You know -- you *know* -- how you affect me. You saw. We'll ... we'll have to make time for that more often."

JC sighed again, but this time it wasn't very contentedly. They were still YOUNG. And very, very much in love, and this was still surprisingly new between them, and. He just hated how infrequently they got to be together.

"Do you think," he started slowly, "that maybe we're a little *too* careful about what we do around Brianna?"

Joey clearly mulled that one over before answering. "I just don't know, JC," he said finally. "I don't know babies really well yet, I don't know what she retains and what she doesn't. But mostly I just ... I worry about getting too distracted, and maybe not noticing if something was wrong with her. Being with you ... it definitely distracts me."

"But when she's sleeping ... " JC protested, then shook his head. It would work itself out. It would. Plus, it was nice to hear he could still affect Joey that way.

"That's when I have to listen the closest," said Joey softly. "To hear her make those little baby sleep noises, and know when I need to roll her over a little." Except he *didn't* need to do that; maybe one day soon he would realize that, start to loosen up a little. Maybe it was just too soon.

"Okay," JC nodded again, just resting back against him and exhaling audibly one last time. "Okay, Joey. You've got that super-genetic-dad-hearing thing going on, and all."

"It's just in case, you know?" he said, and he sounded a little amused at himself. Like he *knew* it was overboard, but he couldn't help it. "I've only got one. I can't replace her if something goes wrong."

"No, you *can't*," JC said, very firm about that. Knowing Joey'd been with Kelly even just that much still killed him a little every time he thought about it. "You're really great at this, you know."

"At what, stroking your hair?" said Joey with a grin. "Well I oughta be, I've been doing it for a while. And even when I wasn't doing it, I was sure thinking about it. All that soft hair ... and then when you started to grow it out? I was a goner."

JC blushed and ducked his chin accomodatingly. "I was ready to try anything," he admitted, although that was nothing Joey didn't already know. "Especially with the baby news ... I had nothing to lose, you know?"

"I'm glad you kept it," he murmured, running his fingers through it. He loved to do that, and JC kept his hair as free of styling products as he could, when they were alone, just to encourage it. "It suits you very much. The you that I know."

"You knew me the last time," JC agreed, remembering. "God, Joe. I love you. I know I say that too much and you laugh, but I do. I have for forever. Since before I even knew what it could feel like."

"I was confused about you," said Joey, not telling JC anything he didn't already know. But Joey liked to say that sometimes, see how far they'd come. "Never being with a guy before that ... you don't always know what you're feeling. Or why. Or how. But we made it, JC. We made it."

JC twisted in his arms so he was draped over him, and smiled so brightly he could almost feel his eyes tearing up. And kissed him.

Joey didn't try to say anything more this time, just kissed him back so slow and deep and tender it was almost painful. This, at least, they needed to do more often, so they didn't forget what *they* had.

"Thank you," JC whispered, finally, almost collapsing again his chest. "For Bri and for the house and for your mom and for the new bed and for you and thank you."

"Thank *you*," insisted Joey. "For being willing to take all this on with me, for *wanting* to take it all on. For loving me that much. You're a wonderful lover and a wonderful dad; you're already confident about one of those, at least, and pretty soon you're gonna be confident about the other."

JC just shook his head. One came a lot more naturally. "I'd do anything for you, you know that," he said. "And I love that little girl, and ... she's mine now too, and that's ... don't thank me."

"Then don't thank *me*," retorted Joey with a smile, sipping his tea. "It's not like I just gave you something. More like I just asked something of you. Or somewhere in between. So don't thank me, just keep loving me."

"I don't even have to think about that any more," JC reminded him, shyly straining his neck to kiss the tea off of Joey's lips.

"That's the way it should be," said Joey, sounding satisfied. Content. "That's the way I feel about you. I love you like I breathe. That's why I didn't have any doubts about doing what we did today, Jace ... you belong here. with me. With us."

"You belong *here*," JC replied, gesturing at himself, his arms, his heart. "With *me*. And Brianna ... she changes the ways I can love you, sometimes. But she never changes how much."

"You're not gonna be able to stop me from saying thanks," Joey warned him. "You know how I am, Jace. You know how I am about the things that mean something to me. I'm ... you know I miss her when she's not here ... but did you want to take care of her bath and everything tonight? Reassure yourself that you do have a bond with her? And no--" He gave JC a warm grin. "--that's definitely not just me trying to get out of it. You know better."

"I do know better," JC admitted, still feeling shy. And since he'd only given her a bath by himself a handful of times before, it really did show Joey's trust in him. "And maybe we can wait for her bath until she's ready to go down. I know you want to play with her."

"If mom didn't totally tire her out today," said Joey, with a rueful sigh. Brianna's grandmother loved her to bits, so it was a real possibility. "*We* can play with her. We can try to teach her what her toes are again -- I don't think she's quite getting that yet." He shook his head. "You just aren't a Fatone until you've learned to chew on your toes."

JC grimaced. "Ew," he said, shaking his head. "If it means I can maybe prevent that happening, of course *we* will play with her." He blinked down at Joey. "God, I'm not ready to give you up yet, though."

Joey sipped his tea and smiled at him and looked just so *serene*, like he never did at times other than this. And he looked rested, which was something JC honestly hadn't seen in a long time. "Do you want to do something other than this?" he asked. "I don't mind. I'm just enjoying our last hour or two of laziness. Shhh, don't tell anyone."

"I just want all your attention," JC admitted bravely. "however you want to give it, until that car pulls up." He didn't even blush. "You've spolied me, that last 24 hours."

He wasn't sure how Joey would react to it, they'd never really talked about it. It seemed so selfish to feel that way, especially over a *baby*, someone who by her very nature needed Joey more than he did. Or in a different way, anyway.

"Well hey," said Joey, too easily to have really gotten the full meaning behind that. "You have it. Is it ... do I not give you enough, Jace?"

"It's not ... I know you do, as much as you can," JC replied, trying not to sound exasperated. "It's just ... well. We're not honeymooning anymore, I guess, and I'm still ... getting used to it."

"No, I'm serious," said Joey, resting a hand on JC's forearm. "Do I? Or ... don't I, I guess? You've never said anything."

"Joey," JC sighed, shaking his head. "Um. Don't, okay? This is ... *so* not a conversation we should be having. Today especially; maybe ever. We're growing, I know this, it's ... we're good."

Joey hesitated, looking at him warily. Which was the last thing JC wanted. "If you aren't happy, though, I want to know, okay?" said Joey. "You know me. I don't always see. So just promise me you'd say. It's hard to fix something, if I don't even know something's wrong."

"How could I not be happy," JC said simply, honestly. It was definitely just a different happy. "I'm just ... not going to know how to do this automatically. You're already like no one else I've ever loved, and now even more so. You know?"

"I know," said Joey, easily again. "Trust me, I know. Bri changes everything. *Everything*. I just don't want you to be afraid to talk to me, like you used to." He sighed and sat back, his arms still holding JC firmly. "Even if you don't want to do it right now."

"I'm not afraid to talk to you," JC promised. "Just. Afraid for you to hear what goes on in my head sometimes, is all."

"Well, don't be," said Joey, smiling again. "I already know a lot of what goes on in your head. And you know I'm never gonna love you less. Okay. Just ... wanted to make sure you knew that. You have to know what you meant to me now, but I guess some things I oughta be explicit about."

"Yes, okay," JC nodded, grinning at his own eagerness. Joey was so, so physically affectionate that he sometimes *didn't* say the things that JC was realizing he needed to hear when they couldn't spend the time together that they once did.

"Good," said Joey, looking him deeply in the eye. Whenever he did that, JC felt like Joey was looking right into his soul. "So *is* there anything you want to do? That, um, doesn't involve doing something for Brianna, or Brianna's room? Because I can do that, you know."

JC's whole ... everything ... just flushed. All over. "Joey," he said, squirming in his lap. "We don't ... I know you're kind of distracted, and ... "

"Maybe I need to not be, once in a while," said Joey, still looking at him that way. "Maybe you need to make me not be, when you have a chance. I trust you to look out for Brianna ... but I trust you to look out for us, too."

"Joey," JC breathed, just happier than he could say. He just shut his mouth and shook his head, and cupped his hands behind Joey's neck. "I can do that thing, then?" he finally asked.

"That thing?" repeated Joey, just completely lost in him. For the first time in a long time, JC thought that maybe Brianna *could* get home, and Joey wouldn't hear her until someone got his attention. It was a heady feeling. "What thing? There's a thing?"

"The *thing*," JC laughed, slumping against him. "The thing you don't like me to do when you need to be somewhere." He started unbuttoning his own pants slowly. "The thing for when it's just the two of us."

Joey blinked his eyes a few times, then looked down at what JC was doing. "Oh!" he said, obviously surprised. "Um. Here?"

"Well, no," JC tried to recover, letting go of his pants. "No, I ... no." He sat up slowly. It never used to be him doing this part, either. The propositioning, the wanting too badly to even go inside. "No."

"No, wait, wait ... " said Joey, grabbing hold of him. "I mean ... " His smile spread slowly. "We *could*. The front door's locked, right? So we're alone ... for once ... "

JC couldn't help but smile back. "Actually, I didn't necessarily mean out here," he admitted. "We *could*, but ... I don't have stuff on me ... I was actually thinking that if I could persuade you, you'd just haul me inside somewhere?"

"I think it wouldn't take much persuasion for me to do that," said Joey, but he didn't stand up just yet. In fact, he was still staring at JC's partly open pants. "I think pretty much all you'd have to do is show me what I'll be getting when we get in there ... "

Fighting back a little bit of a blush -- not that he was ashamed, or shy about that at all, any more -- JC sat back up on his knees and pushed down the flaps of his pants. Exposing the heavy bulge in his underwear, and then framing it with his fingers.

Joey tugged JC closer again and gave him a lingering kiss. "Okay," he said softly, still almost right against JC's lips. He held on tight and stood up, forcing JC to wrap his arms and legs around Joey's waist to keep from falling. Joey shifted his grip then started for the door. "Inside with you. You know I'm a sucker for temptation."

"I'm just glad it's still tempting," JC said softly, resting his lips on Joey's neck as he was carried inside. "You'll tell *me* of it's ever not, right?"

"Oh, Jace," said Joey as he carefully manoeuvered them inside the house. "You always are. *Always* are. I can't imagine that ever, ever changing. These days, I guess we just have to ... pick our moments."

"I love you," whispered JC, by way of response to that. He did. More than life. "Now, where are you taking me, sneaky?"

"Bed," said Joey firmly, starting up the stairs. "Definitely bed. Our nice, big, brand new bed. Which definitely hasn't seen enough action yet."

JC pulled back, not so quickly that he'd mess up Joey's balance, but still quickly. "I can walk," he said. "Don't try to get me up the stairs. Your knee ... "

"Don't squirm," insisted Joey, pulling him back. "I'll be fine. It's not like I get to do this every day anymore." He planted a kiss on JC's head and kept going, nearing the top. "Only on special occasions."

"I *love* you," JC said again, his all-purpose answer. "God. And we, like ... well. Today's a special occasion, definitely." It was really, really permanent, what they'd done.

"The specialest of occasions," agreed Joey, stumbling a bit on the top step but carrying on towards the bedroom like JC weighed nothing. "And Brianna's daddies are definitely allowed to get it on, one in a while ... "

"So romantic," JC teased, holding himself tighter against Joey as they squeezed in the door. "Always the sweet-talker with the ladies and just blunt with me. I know how it is."

"Shush, you," laughed Joey as he deposited him on the bed. "I sweet talk you plenty and you know it. He crawled overtop of JC's body and planted one knee on either side of him, pushing JC's shirt up with one hand then resting his hand on his ribs. "So what are you interested in?"

"God, Joey, you're ... " JC just reveled in his touch for a minute. "I'm so gone for you, still. Anything. Just ... yes. Anything."

"Well, that doesn't narrow it down much," said Joey with a tender little laugh, using both hands to push the shirt off the rest of the way, up and over JC's head and onto the floor. Where JC reminded himself to pick it up from when they were done, in case Phyllis wanted to come upstairs. Joey paused for a moment, suddenly just staring at him. "God, JC," he murmured. "I've missed seeing you like this."

JC"s heart ached with that, just as he felt his grin spread. He tried to get his elbows underneath him so they were a little closer. "Joey," he breathed. "I'm always here for you, like this." He looked down. "And I didn't want to narrow it down."

"Well, we'll just have to see, then." He slid off the bed, but only to pull JC's pants off, leaving them in a pile on the floor, too. And then his underwear. He had his hands poised to pull his own shirt off when he tilted his head to the side and looked at JC questioningly. "Can I?" he asked. "Or did you want to ... ?"

"Oh, me, please," JC nodded, finally spurred into movement, pulling himself up and crawling across the mattress to take the hem in his hands. "Another thing I love abour Brianna?" he mumbled. "Is having you walk around shirtless more. Keep doing that."

Joey laughed again and patted his belly happily as JC started to pull the shirt up. "Yes, I think I'm gonna have to keep doing that," he said, undoing the button of his pants. "For practical reasons, if nothing else."

JC ran his hands down Joey's so-broad back after he got his shirt off, and smiled. "You could at least pretend you did it for me," he complained quietly. He took both of Joey's hands in one of his -- barely -- and took over with his pants.

"I definitely did it all for you," said Joey solemnly, pulling one hand away to tangle it in JC's hair as he worked. "Brianna was just an excuse, the whole time."

"Sure," JC replied, having to close his eyes when Joey brushed at his hair. He reached inside Joey's pants, then quickly got them down over his hips. "No underwear, for me, too?"

"Yes, that one is definitely for you," said Joey with a wink. "No excuses there. Except for the fact that we have a huge, huge pile of laundry we've been ignoring. And are damn well gonna ignore a little longer."

"So romantic," JC taunted again, letting Joey step out of the pants and then just falling back onto the bed to wait for him. "Please, more talk about dirty tee shirts."

"Shush!" said Joey again, laughing as he crawled back overtop of him. "This is our life, JC. Dirty tee shirts and babies spitting up and all. And I love you so, so much." He leaned down and nuzzled JC's neck before giving him a soft kiss.

"I love you back," JC replied, just a little breathlessly -- from Joey's words, and Joey's weight on his chest, and everything. "I wouldn't trade it, you know. Our life, now. And I hope what I said before, it ... it didn't make you think that."

Joey was silent for a moment, then kissed him again. "I know it's harder now," he said finally. "I know it's so, so different than what we had though things would be like. But we'll get used to it. There's ... there's always gonna be lots of love here, Jace."

JC just nodded. He amazed himself every day that he could ever feel stronger about him than he had the day before. "You can show me now," he whispered.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd think that was dirty," teased Joey gently, rubbing their bodies together ever-so-casually. "We actually do have lube still, right? We didn't use the last of it last night? We haven't bought any in forever ... I mean. Not that we need it right this moment."

"There was still some left," JC promised, nodding vigorously and wrapping an ankle around Joey's leg. "Is some. Here." He squirmed and stretched and found it easily in the little drawer of the new bedside table that matched the new bed.

"Thanks," said Joey, setting it aside and focusing on kissing JC's neck, on squeezing JC's hips between his knees and thighs. "I've missed feeling you inside me. I never realize how much, until I get it again."

"We can do that," answered JC quickly. "I can do that, I mean. Or, I mean, right. We." He reached down to hold Joey's hip in his hand. "You feel amazing tonight."

"You feel amazing every night," said Joey, and so sincerely that JC couldn't see it possibly having been a little game of one-upmanship. "I'm gonna have to get past this thing about not making love when Brianna's home ... we'll find a way."

JC could admit to himself that was what he'd wanted to hear all along, he guessed. Not that he had to take the backseat to Brianna sometimes -- a lot, even -- but that he wouldn't have to when it wasn't really necessary. Joey just needed to realize it on his own.

He tilted his head up and kissed Joey deeply, lingering and nipping at his bottom lip.

"Do you want to be on top?" asked Joey, sliding against him then just gripping him tighter. "I could ride you, but ... " He smiled sheepishly, like it was hard admitting what he was about to say. "I think I just want to surrender a little. Not be responsible for anything, for just a few minutes."

JC didn't smile, didn't want Joey to think he was laughing at him, at all. In any way. "Of course," he said simply, then slid out from under him and just lay next to him for a moment. "I like it when you ask for things, Joey. Always have, you know."

Joey ran a hand over JC's slim hip and still looked a bit embarassed. But certainly not enough to back down. "I know," he said with a slow nod of his head. "Sometimes I feel like I shoudln't want things, for certain reasons, but ... but I do. And you're really good to me about it."

"I promise you," JC replied, "that I will always be good to you about it. And I'll always try to give you what you want. Not in the spoiled way, just in the ... being there for you kind of way." He tried to reach Joey's mouth again. "What reasons?"

"Wanting to give up responsibility," admitted Joey guiltily. "I shouldn't be thinking that, not with Brianna on her way back so soon. And I *don't* think that, a lot, I just ... right now ... with you. I can."

"I take care of you, too," JC reminded him. "*You* said that. It's okay to ... let go, with me. I do it with you all the time." Again, it was something that JC had known he needed to hear from Joey, and just couldn't believe he actually *was*. "Do you know that?"

"Yeah, I do," said Joey, letting JC plant small kisses on him finally. "It's just taking me a while, to convince myself I'm allowed to. Having you be able to take over, with Brianna ... I think it's really gonna help with that, Jace. Really help me."

"Um," JC started, knowing he had to ask this or it would eat at him. "It is, that's true. But ... okay, but that's not *why*, right? Why we did ... the stuff today?"

"Jace," said Joey quietly, looking surprised. "You ... you *know* why we did what we did. Why we did everything we've done in the past couple days. You're her parent right alongside me, you ... " He bit his lip and sighed. "I'm sorry. It's selfish of me, to want you to do stuff just to relieve my stress a little. I need to not be selfish ... with the baby ... "

"No, no," JC protested, touching Joey's face. "God. Joey. You're ... you're supposed to ask me, I'm supposed to do that for you ... I was just making sure, okay? I mean. I'd never think you were using me, ever, 'cause hell, you could find someone better at it if you were. Just ... hoping it wasn't the reason why you let yourself *see* me as her ... her daddy."

"You just are, JC," he said, looking honestly baffled that it could possibly be anything else. "It's not even about being good at it -- which you *are*, even if you don't think it -- it's ... you just are. I don't know how else to put it. You're just her daddy, too. That's it." "Oh," JC whispered, blinking for a moment. "Oh. And ... oh! Okay. We need to stop this, 'cause if you make me get all sappy you know I'll just roll over and spread my legs for you and I believe we were going to do something else."

Joey grinned at him happily and tugged him closer, pulling JC half on top of him already. "We are, I hope," he said. "I'm really looking forward to it. I feel safe with you. That I can just ... let go, and enjoy it."

"You can," JC swore. "So, um. Here." He reached down and pushed at Joey's thigh a little, grinning at his teasing resistance. "I told you that you feel good already, right?"

Joey laughed at himself and relaxed, letting his legs fall open. "You did," he said. "And I believe you. I think I definitely need more practice being on this end, that's for sure .. "

"We can do that," JC promised. "I'm ... you don't know, I don't think, how it feels to have you. Um. On that end." He grinned shyly and spread his fingers over Joey's thighs.

"I *don't* know," agreed Joey, shifting easily under JC's hands. It was great, how unselfconscious they both were about being naked together now. Like it was nothing. Like it was their natural state of being. "I just know you like it ... "

JC laughed at what had to be the biggest understatement ever. "I *love* it," he corrected. "You're ... you are *so* warm, all the time, Joey. And I feel safe when I'm inside you like that and ... and all that sappy stuff. Which I thought we weren't doing. Shit."

"Well, you can be sappy about being inside my ass," teased Joey, even spreading his legs a little more. Obviously more comfortable with this than he'd once been. "That won't defeat the purpose of the whole thing, after all. Heck, you can write odes to my ass, if you want to ... "

"*Joey*," JC protested, blushing even harder because Joey didn't know ... *couldn't* know ... that he *had* written ... not an ode, but some really bad lyrics ... about every part of Joey's body. "Stop teasing. I still get nervous about this too, you know."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said quickly, reaching out for JC's hair again. "You know me ... you know how I am when I'm nervous and excited. Though ... you're really spectacular when you blush. I can see it all over your body ... "

"You cannot," JC protested, looking down at himself. "Stop." He busied himself with getting Joey's hips just the way he wanted them, then licked his thumb for just a little moisture when he brushed it carefully between Joey's legs.

"But I like it," whispered Joey, gasping and blushing a little himself when JC touched him the way he did. "And that, Jace. I like that, too."

"I know," JC assured him, smiling and just feeling. "Sometimes I'm ... well, still surprised. That we're together the way we are. And that you let me do the things you let me do. Um. You know?"

"I know," said Joey, his eyes fluttering closed, leaning back into the bed. "I'm surprised all the time. In the good way. Sometimes my life is almost too good to be true."

"Nobody deserves it more," JC said, believing it wholeheartedly. "Love you," he whispered then, and pushed his thumb just barely inside Joey's body.

"Love you," breathed Joey in return, holding himself very still. JC was familiar enough with that reaction that he didn't worry, just knew that Joey was adjusting to him being there. Then, the unexpected. "More?"

"Not without ... hold on," JC murmured to him, reaching across his body with his free hand to grab the lube.

Joey drew his knees up even more than JC had pushed them, as he spread for him willingly. It was a thing to see, no less amazing now than it had been the first time they'd ever done it like this. To see Joey squirming like that, flushed and nervous and eager ... JC couldn't be doing this soon enough.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, kissing at Joey's knee as he coated his hand. "It's been a little while, I know."

"I'm good," Joey assured him, a little breathily. "Just ... waiting. For this. For you to just take me away for a little while ... you're awfully good at that, JC."

"The taking away, or the, um, fingering?" JC asked quietly, pulling his thumb out as smoothly as he could and replacing it carefully with his two smallest fingers. "How's that."

Joey squirmed, then opened his eyes again and gave JC a smile. "You're good at both," he said softly, or as softly as he could with his breathing already getting rapid. It had been a bit of a surprise for both of them, to discover how much this turned Joey on, but a welcome one.

JC kissed his knee again, pleased, and let the thumb of that hand brush across Joey's balls lightly. "Maybe now, I am," he said quietly. "Remember how nervous I was, the first time we tried it this way together?"

"Remember how nervous *I* was?" replied Joey with a little, breathy laugh. "But you were so great, *so* great. Even when I got weird and things didn't go the way we planned."

"You didn't get weird," JC promised him quietly. "It was a big deal. It *is* a big deal. And not so easy, and ... yes. I was so hard and then I wasn't and ... not as planned, no."

Very gently, Joey pushed himself back against JC's fingers, and let out a soft, satisfied moan before continuing. "That was still a wonderful night," he promised. "I learned so much. I think we both did."

JC chuckled. "What did you learn," he asked soothingly, rubbing his other fingers over Joey's scar as he began stroking inside him slowly.

"What this feels like," said Joey instantly, letting out another one of those soft moans, the ones JC probably wouldn't even have heard if he didn't know what he was listening for. "How to handle things when they don't go right, and find other stuff to do together. I learned how you like to be held best ... "

"You did," JC interrupted him, almost laughing. "And you were great. I was so ... " Upset, mortified, scared, ashamed. "And you took care of me. Like always."

"We took care of each other," Joey corrected him. "And that's what this whole thing ... this whole *us* ... is all about, Jace." He pushed back against him again and sighed happily. "It's all about you and me together."

"It almost killed me, is all. That first time," JC mumbled. "I thought ... I really thought you'd be done with it, with the whole thing. With me."

"Well, obviously not," said Joey, with a happy little smile just for him. "Since I'm right here, legs spread, wanting you more than ever. You're just ... you're everything, JC. I don't think you'll ever know quite how much."

"Maybe not," JC admitted, spreading his finger a little. "How'd you get the ... I mean. What made you decide to try again, after?"

"I guess ... a few things," said Joey, shifting his position again so it was even easier for JC to finger him. "What we *did* do ... it felt good. And I never doubted that you wanted me. It was just stressful, me being all nervous and *never* having done it before with anyone ... and in the end it turned out good, I think. Doing some stuff then and making me less scared of it, and then doing some other stuff later."

"I just love you," JC shrugged, feeling like sometimes that was the most inadequate thing to say. "Joey, I would ... I *will*. Do anything. For you. Anything." He leaned over a little to kiss the inside of his thigh, and smiled at how far the had come.

"Right now," said Joey, miraculously just keeping on spreading for him. "Right now I just need you to make love to me. And let me be lazy and selfish and just take it. I love you too."

JC laughed happily and reached for the lube again. "I'd call you a ton of things, in bed," he admitted. "But never lazy. I *know* you, Fatone. You're gonna be all over me as soon as I'm in you."

"You know, one of these days I might surprise you again," laughed Joey, but JC didn't think it would be this time. "Although ... giving you my willing body to thrust into isn't *entirely* selfish, no matter how you look at it ... "

"Definitely not," JC murmured, reaching down to slick up his cock, which had been ready since they'd been outside. "You ready, lover?" he whispered, calling Joey the name he only ever used in bed out loud, but used in his head all the time.

Joey just licked his lips and gave JC a look so full of love and desire and need that the answer was clear without him every having to say a word. He reached out and wrapped a large hand around the back of JC's neck and gently urged him forward.

JC concentrated carefully on spreading his fingers and pressing the head of his cock inside, then pulled his hand away and pushed the rest of the way in. Not waiting, not drawing it out. Doing it the way Joey always wanted him to.

Joey kept his eyes open -- which he didn't always do -- and watched JC's expression as JC watched his. First Joey looked surprised, right at that moment that he was first entered, then just a tiny wince, then nothing but ecstasy the rest of the way in. He looked so, so good spread out like that, aroused and happy and absolutely irresistable.

JC couldn't help but laugh again, and gripped Joey's knees. "Know how many years I've spent being turned on by you?" he asked, holding himself otherwise still.

"If you say more than ten, I'm gonna know you're lying," said Joey, smiling at him even as he panted, getting used to JC being inside him like that.

"*Almost* ten!" JC insisted, waiting a little longer. "It was different, then. The things I imagined ... different. But you still did."

"I didn't know," said Joey softly, which had been one of the big stumbling blocks before they first got together -- that Joey really didn't know, and was having trouble figuring out his own feelings. "I'm glad things are what they are, now."

"Oh, me too, Joe," JC nodded. "Me too." Then he shut himself up and with a questioning look thrust carefully into Joey's body.

Joey got quiet, his mouth open in a small O, arching his body and moving fluidly as JC thrust inside him. He got quiet like this, when they really started making love, got quiet and just started making noises instead of words -- which were no less hot.

"So beautiful," JC encouraged him, running his hands low on Joey's hips, cradling them as he moved. "You look like you're in heaven, Joe."

He really did, his eyes sparkling, his lips smiling, and then he was groping for JC's body, trying to find something to cling to as he thrust back against him -- not hard, just enough to match JC's motion. JC could hear him panting, above anything else, could hear the occasional faint whimper that he was sure Joey didn't even know he was making.

"Pretty," he went on, just waiting for Joey to roll his eyes at him the way he always did when he said that. "So pretty." He pushed Joey's legs open a little wider.

Joey didn't, though, either not hearing him or too lost in what they were doing to mind so much. He just finally closed his eyes and arched his back and split his legs about as far as they could go, welcoming JC inside. "Hot," he said -- mumbled, really, JC was only half sure that was what he'd actually said.

"Yeah, Joe," he whispered, sneaking his hands under Joey's hips completely and clutching at his ass, holding him close. "You really are, babe."

Joey had no reponse for him that time but, as expected, his hands got busier on JC's body, trying to touch everywhere they could, stroke him, caress him, grab him, whatever he could. He knew where most of JC's sensitive spots were, but when he was this aroused -- this out of control -- he tended to just touch everything and hope for the best.

"You're wonderful, like this," JC chuckled to himself, just enjoying seeing his lover so distracted and overwhelmed, from him. "Can I keep you?"

Joey just rocked back against him, hard, his teeth sinking into his own lip as his face screwed up in concentration. He didn't make any noises like that, but the sight -- damn, the *sight* of it.

"Fine," JC finally teased, his own voice getting a little strained. "Don't talk to me." He bowed his head and really started to work on Joey's body, thrusting carefully and precisely and deeply and rhythmically.

And Joey *was* surrendering, wholly and completely to JC, letting JC do whatever he wanted with his body and every other part of him. The level of trust was so, so complete it was almost overwhelming.

"Love you," JC whispered to his chest, reaching for Joey's erection and holding it gently while he waited for Joey to react: to let him know if it was too soon, or if he was ready already ...

Joey just bucked right up at him, almost catching him off-guard. Ready, then. Very, very, more than ready. Which wasn't much of a surprise given the way he was moving, the way he sounded in unguarded moments.