The Apartment AU 2
This time, when AJ wandered out of the shower, he was at least half dressed. Which was both a disapointment and a bit of a relief for Joey, as he set the recently-arrived pizza on the end table and handed out some paper towels he scrounged up. No way was he feeling like dealing with dishes.
"Anyone need anything else while I'm up?" he asked them both. "Drinks? Anything? Because once I go down, I *go down*. That's it."
AJ choked, then turned scarlet as he fought for air while JC pounded him helpfully on the back. He waved a hand, raising his head to reveal streaming eyes. "'mokay," he rasped, coughing a last few times. "Water, please."
"Joey, you shouldn't be dropping that kind of innuendo around the nice straight boys," JC said reprovingly, though his eyes were twinkling. "Soda for me."
"Hey, that was a perfectly innocent comment!" protested Joey, choking out his own laugh. "It's not my fault the both of you are total pervs." He disappeared into the kitchen, listening while AJ continued to catch his breath, and came back with a six-pack of Coke and a glass of water for AJ. "Pervs, I tell you."
"Going down?" AJ finally got out, lifting a skeptical brow. He wiped his eyes and took the water with a nod of thanks. "That's not even a pervy interpretation. That's just...dirty!" He grinned up at Joey. "I approve."
"Of course I'm a perv," JC said placidly. "This is hardly news, Joey, if you don't want me picking up the innuendo you shouldn't be dropping it all over the place. Especially when I know how you feel about...going down." He patted the couch at his side with a friendly leer.
"Yeah, speaking of traumatizing the straight boy!" laughed Joey as he sat down. "And I do mean *that* straight boy," he added, jerking his thumb in AJ's direction, "and not you, because there is nothing left to traumatize *you* with, I think. Pass the pizza? I need something to stuff in my mouth."
This time AJ just *howled*, and actually collapsed sideways in his chair under the force of his laughter, pounding on one arm. "Your face!" he gasped out. "Oh my god, it was like bad porn. Oh my god."
"Joey!" JC was giggling madly, too. "Stop! Jesus, we'll never get to eat at this rate. And I think you killed AJ."
"Oh, come on, you *asked* for that one," said Joey, grinning at them as he leaned all the way over JC's body for the pizza. Resisting the urge to cop a feel just for the reaction. "Was I really expected to resist?"
JC slapped the back of his head, lightly and affectionately, as he leaned. "Yes," he scolded. "You are supposed to resist, you big goober. No one wants to know what you're putting in your mouth."
"Oh, I don't know," AJ had recovered and was grinning at them, still sprawled comfortably over the armchair. "Howie's so genteel I never really get to hear the good stuff. Is giving head really all that?" He seemed genuinely curious.
"Yes," said Joey, taking a big bite of the pizza. He chewed and chewed, watching AJ's expression get more and more expectant. "What?" he said, grinning again after swallowing very obviously. "It is! It's great. What should I say about it?"
"Well!" AJ threw up his hands. "Come on! Details! I can't ask chicks about this, they get all squeamish and offended. You're like, the best thing ever, both a guy and someone who has given head, so you can share. Aren't you worried about choking? Doesn't it taste nasty? Come on, now."
"Oh my," JC said admiringly. "I never thought about it that way, but he's right."
"What, are you kidding me?" said Joey, staring at both of them, each in turn. "Is that what you guys really think? Man, it has *never* been more obvious how straight you are. Why would you even stick that in some girl's mouth if you think it tastes nasty? No, no, it's good, man. It's fun. And everyone chokes sooner or later, you can't get all worked up about it. It's nothing, just a momentary thing."
"Well." AJ huffed, clearly a little affronted. "I mean, with the big screaming deal some of 'em make about it, I figured it tasted like poison or something."
JC shrugged. "I knew it didn't taste nasty, I've tasted mine," he said, like it was no big deal at all. "But I was still kind of curious about the choking thing. I've got a strong gag reflex. I'd make a terrible gay man."
"You'd make a fabulous gay man," Joey argued with him. "If only you were, you know, gay. Anyway... no offense intended or anything, I was just surprised! I can't imagine it's much fun, with some girl who's making a big screaming deal of it, yeah?" It was a genuine question, and he tilted his head curiously at AJ as he finished off his piece of pizza.
"It does tend to kind of kill the mood," AJ admitted, reaching for another slice of pizza. "But mostly I could always think of something else to do. Some of them like it, though, and then..." his face went dreamy for a minute. "It's just about the best thing ever."
"It is," JC nodded. "It really is. Most of the girls I get with don't make a deal about it anyway."
"Fiona won't," AJ said wickedly.
JC just grinned slyly back at him, and nothing more needed to be said.
"Right, exactly, if the person doing it *likes* it, it's so much better," said Joey. "And I like doing it so... draw your own conclusions from that. How did we get on this topic again? Someone pass me more pizza."
"You were talking about stuffing things in your mouth, and we just went from there," JC answered helpfully. "And especially since AJ hasn't had access to you, the font of all gay sex knowledge."
"Really?" AJ peered at him. "ALL gay sex knowledge? That's pretty great, man."
"Not *all* knowledge," said Joey modestly. "But I'm working on it. Believe me, I'm working on it. And really, you two are way too excited about gay sex, for a couple of straight boys. I'm just saying."
"Sex is sex," JC said without so much as ruffling a hair. "Even if I don't like having it with people with dicks, it still doesn't mean it's not still interesting."
AJ, however, had a little flush high up on his cheeks. "Curious," he answered. "Curious, not necessarily excited. Howie's not the kind of person you just ask about these things. He's very reserved."
"Really?" said Joey, a little smile on his lips. Howie hadn't struck him as particularly reserved. But then, he'd known Howie in quite a different way than AJ had. "Well, huh. Interesting. And okay, I can buy that. I'm pretty curious about all sorts of sex, too. But then I've *had* all sorts of sex."
"Right, and I'm operating from a more limited experience," AJ agreed hastily. "So it's curiosity, you know. It's gotta be different from that one little scene in my porn flick."
JC's eyes opened wide. "You have porn? You brought porn into this house with you, it's here? Fuck! Why aren't we watching it?" He scrambled towards the television, ignoring the way AJ was blinking at him. "New porn! I'm so sick of all my own old stuff."
"I probably should have warned you," Joey murmured to AJ, watching JC search for new tapes. But AJ probably hadn't had to be warned -- as in all things, JC was perfectly candid about his love of all things sexual. "Jace, why don't you *ask* AJ to show it to you? Jeez."
"Oh." JC paused in his search and looked at AJ. "Can I watch your porn?"
"Um, sure," AJ nodded, looking a little bemused. "It's right over there, that stack." He pointed at it, and JC beamed at him. "Do you normally watch porn together?" He asked Joey mildly.
Joey sighed, then smiled a little sheepishly. "With JC? It's kind of inevitable," he had to admit. "He kind of doesn't get the whole awkwardness of it -- to the point where, really, with him it's not so much awkward after a while. Course... it probably helps that the girly bits he likes so much don't really do anything for me."
"What, do you watch the guys while he's watching the girls?" AJ looked amused. "From what I remember, there's only one video with a guy that's even remotely cute. Not that one," he told JC. "The one underneath it. They actually managed to get a guy who doesn't look like Ron Jeremy for that one."
"Mostly," Joey admitted quietly, "I just watch JC. And try not to laugh at what's going on on the screen, because sex is sex, sure, but porn sex is really kinda funny when you're not of the persuasion to find it hot. JC, on the other hand..." There was no embarrassment in admitting he found JC hot -- he knew it, JC knew it, it was no big deal. Though if JC was going to put something on, Joey wasn't at all sure that JC was the one he'd be discreetly watching this time.
"Don't you ever watch gay porn?" AJ looked curious. "I mean, it only seems fair, that you should split it fifty-fifty...wait. You don't actually..." He made a vague gesture near his crotch, looking back and forth between JC and Joey.
"Oh, no, nobody whips it out," JC assured him calmly. "Mostly we just watch and yeah, sometimes we watch the gay stuff, and then whichever one of us is the most squirmy goes into the bathroom and jerks off."
"I, uh, mostly keep my gay porn habits to when I'm alone or, uh, with someone who'll reap the benefits," said Joey awkwardly, helping himself to the pizza again, almost just for something to do that wasn't talk about his porn. "Though Jace is a doll and will watch it with me sometimes in the interest of fairness. It's fun. He makes faces at it sometimes, or tries to figure out how they're doing what they're doing."
AJ grinned at JC. "I can just picture it. Do you make diagrams?"
"Hee, no!" JC giggled as he popped in the tape. "But they get really creative, you should see. I've gotten some pretty good ideas of stuff to suggest to my girlfriends. If you're not obsessed with butts and dicks, though, the camera shots get a little boring."
"I bet Joey feels the same about tits and pussy," AJ noted, and glanced at Joey. "It does sound educational."
"It is," agreed Joey, "though if you're able to refer to porn as 'educational' afterwards, you're probably doing something wrong. Now instructive... that would be all right. What are we watching, Jace? What tape did you pick? The one with the guy that won't make me retch?"
"Yeah, though we've only got AJ's word for it," JC answered, settling himself back on the couch at Joey's side, tucking his feet up and getting comfortable. "Either way, though, it's new porn!"
"He's not gonna make you retch," AJ assured Joey. "And I'd just like to say, I don't normally watch porn with people I've just met, but how can I say no to this kind of enthusiasm?" He didn't seem even a little uncomfortable, and was actually smiling. "Now push play, and you can tell me if I'm right about the guy."
"Given my standards for guys in straight porn," said Joey, leaning back comfortably himself, even as JC leaned forward eagerly, "he doesn't have to be particularly good looking for you to be right. And even straight, you guys have a decent idea what's hot and what's not, in guys."
JC started up the tape, and Joey hoped AJ really *wasn't* uncomfortable. Of course, if he was, he didn't have to be watching it with them, so there was at least that reassurance.
"I don't know about JC's taste," AJ murmured doubtfully, "that *shirt*..." But then the music started in all its cheesy glory, and they all started paying attention.
"So, what do you think?" AJ asked, as the lonely housewife opened the door to greet the handsome young construction worker. He had a short moustache and broad shoulders and a friendly, cute face. JC hummed happily as he gave the housewife a smoldering look and immediately started untying her robe.
"Acceptable," announced Joey, after watching them for a few moments. "Oh, dimple! Definitely acceptable!" Maybe even enjoyable, though not nearly so much as JC was clearly going to enjoy it. "This isn't the one with the threesome, too, is it?" That would almost be too much to hope for.
"No," AJ admitted, tilting his head to consider the action on the screen. "But one of the guys in the threesome is just as good looking as this one. This guy is hung like a HORSE, though. I couldn't believe it was real."
"Oh," JC sighed, as the girl stepped out of the robe. "She's shaved all *over*."
AJ rolled his eyes, very discreetly, at Joey. "He's not," he said, and the actor proved just that, getting naked with impressive speed.
"Well, nothing wrong with that," said Joey appreciatively. "Man, you weren't kidding about the hung, too, wow. I bet you've watched these so many times you could probably give us the blow by blow." JC snickered. "Uh. So to speak."
"Nah," AJ said easily. "This one's pretty new. I tend to trade old ones for new ones pretty regularly, except for a couple of classic keepers. That way they never get stale." He shifted a little in his chair; the man had the woman backed up against the refrigerator and was kissing her, the muscles in his back flexing as he moved her around. Though the camera was mostly focused on the woman, there were some lovely shots of the man, especially when he stepped away a little to let the camera come closer.
JC sighed, and squirmed and shifted as the woman started touching herself, making exaggerated faces of pleasure as she did so. "I love this part," he said happily.
Joey tried not to snicker; after all, she did look *kinda* hot, if a little silly. And the guy had a really nice ass, which definitely didn't escape Joey's attention. But this was about the point where watching the people watching the porn became more interesting than what was on the screen. JC he watched for a moment without shame, the way his knuckles got white as he clutched at his thigh, never going to far as to touch himself. AJ he watched out of the corner of his eye, leaning forward a little more, chewing on the corner of his lip. Someone made a sound but Joey didn't catch who. Either way, the one sound was hotter than anything on the tape so far.
AJ had his sunglasses off, and one leg draped over the leg of the chair that he sat in sideways. His head was tipped back, and he looked like he was watching the tape through his lashes, completely relaxed. But his foot was moving in time with the music on the tape, and his shoulders were tense, and his breathing was a little faster than it had been.
The sound came again, and it was definitely JC, because AJ's eyes slid sideways to JC at the same moment Joey's did.
Joey didn't say anything that might make him stop; it was already the best part of the experience. Or second best, what with AJ being in such a convenient position for Joey to watch him without looking like he was watching him. He felt the tiniest bit guilty for doing it, but not too much because he was pretty sure that AJ knew anyway, and was equally sure that if he minded, Joey would have heard about it already.
In fact, AJ glanced straight at Joey, meeting his eyes directly for a long moment before looking back at the television, where they were getting close to having actual sex.
"She's so bendy," JC murmured blissfully, and AJ folded his hands almost primly in his lap, if you didn't notice the way his fingers were clenched together, or the quick tongue that darted out to wet his lips.
"Just the way you like 'em," Joey murmured, eyes flicking to JC just for a moment. Rather than becoming narrow and blissed out, JC's eyes were wide and excited. Just the opposite of AJ, really. Joey wet his own lips as he watched them, and even watched the TV for a little while when the camera angle gave him a clear shot of that fantastic ass. Joey would so do him, as long as he didn't talk.
The scene changed a little with the arrival of the lonely housewife's buxom next door neighbor, and JC's eyes got even bigger.
"When I die I want to come back as a lesbian," he said fervently, fingers now even tighter on his thigh, the other hand clenched on the arm of the couch. He wiggled a little, and Joey was willing to bet it was because his jeans were so uncomfortably tight. At least, they *looked* uncomfortable.
"The Kellys would probably tell you that being a lesbian isn't all about having hot sex with your neighbors," Joey reminded him, which didn't dampen JC's enthusiasm for it in the least.
Joey was getting a bit turned on in spite of himself, especially since the whole works was already primed and ready to go from last nights romp with Howie. Though the buxom neighbor did even less for him than the lonely housewife. AJ was certainly enjoying them, though, or enjoying something about the porn at least, and Joey settled back into watching him for a little while.
He was definitely reacting to the movie, shifting his body whenever anyone on screen did something startling or revealing or made a sound that wasn't too cheesy. And he was staring pretty hard, at least until he glanced over at Joey and their eyes locked.
AJ's flared wide, but he didn't look away for a long moment, just staring, eyes wide and dark and his face a little flushed, until the man on the screen shouted and his concentration was broken.
Joey hadn't really gotten a good look at AJ's eyes before, and was surprised by how big and vulnerable and expressive they were, a huge contrast to the rest of his body. JC was completely oblivious to what was going on between them, focused intently on the movie, but for that moment Joey felt absolutely constricted by the sheer sexual tension between him and AJ. That was beyond eye candy, beyond curiosity, into territory he had been certain, up until then, that the two of them would never breach.
And maybe they wouldn't; when AJ looked at the screen again, Joey finally started to breath, and decided that maybe looking at AJ was a really bad idea, when he could do nothing about the urges that bubbled up when he did.
AJ shook himself lightly, almost a shiver, and rearranged his legs so that he was bent a little at the waist, sitting up more than he had been. He didn't look at Joey again through the rest of the blessedly short movie.
"Oh man," JC was on his feet the moment the last scene cut. "Guys, I'll be right back." He fled the room, leaving AJ and Joey blinking after him in silence.
"Ah, I'm guessing he really likes lesbians," AJ said mildly, once the bathroom door had slammed shut.
"OH yeah," said Joey fervently, a little smirk playing at his lips. "Jace definitely likes lesbians. And everything else, but in his world, two sets of boobies trumps one set every time. That was... I've definitely seen worse than that, man. Thanks."
"No problem," AJ said, smiling back. "Porn's meant to be shared, man. Just sorry you weren't more into it, but I think JC more than made up for any lack of enthusiasm you might have felt. And the guy's not awful looking, when you can see him, anyway."
"Oh, I was into it," Joey assured him, and tried not to give away just how into it he'd been. As though AJ didn't already know. "More than I guessed I'd be. That's not really much of a comparison anyway -- *nobody's* as enthusiastic about it as JC is. You could've shown this to a guy who'd been alone on a desert island for ten years, and JC would still be more excited."
"It must be pretty cool to have that much enthusiasm," AJ chuckled, shaking his head a little, not meeting Joey's eyes. "I've never seen a guy get so excited about porn, honestly. I feel like Santa or something. Should I just loan him the rest of the tapes right now, or dole them out one by one?"
"One by one, for sure," said Joey quickly. "It's like a kid with candy, man. He'll gorge himself on them if we're not careful. Not that he ever gets tired of it, seems like, but he'll start pouting when he runs out. So... right. I usually... watching porn in a group is kinda Jace's thing. Not that I don't like it! I mean, it's great! But I'm not gonna, uh, make you do this regular or anything. If you were worried. If you're uncomfortable, or anything...."
AJ shrugged casually. "No, not really. I mean, it's not something I do all the time or anything, but it's not that strange and it wasn't uncomfortable." He reached for another slice of pizza, still a little bent over his lap, and JC walked back into the room, flush-faced and grinning.
"That was great," he said, voice still a little fuzzy around the edges. "That was great porn."
"Glad you liked it," AJ smiled. "Better grab that last slice before it's gone."
"Oh!" said JC, snatching it up quick. "You guys have been eating while I wasn't looking! Sneaky! We should've gotten more. Does anyone else need the bathroom? I promise I didn't leave a mess, I'm a good guest like that."
"Well, thanks for that at least," said Joey, giving him a grin. "That was a fun porntastic interlude in our evening."
AJ was snickering a little, but let JC take and keep the last slice of pizza. "That is the second pie," he pointed out. "I don't think it would really be healthy for us to eat more. And yeah, we were eating while you weren't looking. *You* were off having a little extra fun."
"A lot of extra fun," JC corrected him. "I feel much better, much more relaxed. You guys should totally just seize the moment."
"Or seize something, anyway," muttered Joey, shooting AJ a look again. AJ wans't looking back, and Joey sighed, hoping he hadn't just messed up the whole roommate thing with him. "The pizza was plenty enough fun for me, thanks."
"Next time?" AJ was grinning and shaking his head. "Right on, okay. I've got porn watching buddies again. That's definitely a good thing."
"You guys are trying to turn me straight, aren't you," Joey teased them, keeping it light. For the moment. "I'm on to you. First it's threesomes, then you take the extra guy out and it's straight all the way. Well I'm telling you right now, it's not gonna work. Been there, done that, never going back."
"You know, Joey," AJ said solemnly, reaching over to pat his arm and looking straight into his eyes. "It's perfectly natural to like girls. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You can admit it to us, we're your friends, we won't judge you. We'll accept you no matter what."
JC hooted and fell over onto his side. "Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness!" His eyes almost disappeared into his grin.
"I'm sorry," said Joey, shaking his head, and bowing it to hide his grin. "I'm just not ready for that. I mean, what will people think? How would I tell my family?" And suddenly, he remembered what else that day had brought.
And then JC wasn't so much just leaning against him as wrapping around him, warm and loving and his hands patting lightly over Joey's shoulders and arms, and AJ was smiling at him for real. "Just like you did today," JC said, a little laughter still in his voice. "And they'd love you anyway, just like they still do today."
"Yeah, I think they might love me for that a little more," said Joey, letting out a sharp laugh. "You know how much ma likes kids, Jace. But then, Steve's spreading his seed all 'round the neighborhood, so she shouldn't have to wait long."
"You can still have kids," AJ said, unexpectedly. "I mean, if you want to. Howie wants kids, he knows all about how to do it." He nodded at both of them. "If that's what's really bothering you, I mean. And them. You could talk to him about it."
Joey nodded at him a little. "I don't though, really," he admitted. "Or... I don't know. It's not something I'm thinking about right now, even though ma is. She doesn't want me living with my boyfriend before I'm outta school, but she's been talking about her future grandkids since before I was outta high school."
"I don't think she'd want you living with your girlfriend until you were out of school either," JC pointed out. "I mean, before the wedding. Same goes for kids. You'll just have to have a nice little commitment ceremony. Your ma's nuts for that kind of stuff." He was still patting Joey gently.
"No, she wouldn't want me living with a girlfriend either," Joey said easily. "She's... really consistent that way. I think she'd already given up on the waiting till marriage thing, though, what with Steve and Janine coming before me. You know how ma is, Jace. She's... all things considered, she's been real good about all this, today."
"Having sex and living together, well. Those are totally different things, to parents." AJ shook his head. "Like we won't have sex if we aren't living under the same roof? Whatever. But it makes 'em happy, I guess. Your mom sounds pretty great, though, Joey. I mean, with all this."
"Ma is great," said Joey firmly. "I just didn't know... I guess I shoulda probably told her a long time ago, but it's so hard. You have no idea. She's been all about the traditional family stuff and I *knew* she loved me like nothing else, but I didn't know how she'd take it. I think probably she's still, you know, processing it."
"Probably," JC nodded against his shoulder. "I mean, you said she already knew, but it's different to hear it all out in the open like that. But she adores you and so does your dad and that's the really important part, in the long run."
"Definitely," AJ agreed softly. "I don't really know my dad, but my mom was so great with all my junk, and it completely pulled me through."
"That's great," said Joey honestly, giving AJ a smile. "That had to be important, going through something like that. My parents really are great, it could have been so much worse today, I know it could've. I think maybe there are still some tough things ahead, when it sinks in and they start asking me things. but I do know I'm loved. I mean, that's the most important thing, I know that."
"Yep, and we love you too. Well, I can't speak for AJ, I only just met the man, but *I* love you," JC said, so firmly that AJ chuckled a little.
"And at least you're *not* living at home," he pointed out. "Imagine having to bring dates home after the announcement. That might be a little awkward, I think parents are more comfortable with theory than practice anyway."
"OH yeah," said Joey fervently. "I can't imagine having done this while living at home. But then... if I was living at home, I probalby woulda said something a long time ago. Chris being my roommate was convenient. Chris coming over to my place every day would've raised some eyebrows. It was hard enough before I left for college, believe me."
"So, you knew that long ago," AJ mused, watching them both. "Was it like lightning from above, or something you figured out slow, or what? What made you realize..." he shrugged a little, looking sheepish. "Sorry, probably none of my business. Just curious."
Joey blinked a couple times, until he realized what AJ was asking. "Oh!" he said finally, a little too suddenly and a little too loud. He had to give AJ a sheepish smile of his own. "It was a little of both," he admitted. "I guess that sounds really weird. I figured it out all at once, and then I looked back and I realized I'd been figuring it out for a long time. I was sixteen, when I did. But I didn't... I mean, I still dated girls for a while. I figured maybe I was both. Hoped I was, maybe."
"I tried dating a boy once," JC admitted. "Everyone thought I should because...well, because yes. But it was depressing, he was nice and all but I just couldn't get over the whole two-dicks no-boobs thing. It ended badly." He sighed. "Joey did much better, I think. When I met you, Joe, you were pretty much sure about the gay." He looked at AJ with a little grin. "Joey just has a lot of love to give and didn't want to prematurely deprive half the population of his attention."
Joey chucked and gave JC a fond hug. "Yeah, something like that," he said. He'd had a number of very sweet, very good looking girlfriends in high school; he'd slept with about half. And it didn't even come close to what he felt when he was with guys, he found out later. "Just took me a while to get the experience I needed to make a fair comparison, I think. But when I could... well, the truth was pretty obvious."
AJ nodded consideringly. "Experience, then. You gotta try it before you're sure, I guess." He looked up at them with another sharp grin. "Lotta things in life like that. Now, I can tell you two need some serious gossip time." He stood gracefully, shaking out his arms like one of them had fallen asleep. "I'm gonna head to bed. Thanks for the porn and the pizza and the company."
"And time," Joey promised him. He would have gotten up himself if JC hadn't been wrapped around him. "I'm sure there are many more nights just like it in our future. Sleep well!"
"You too," AJ smiled at them both, shook his head like the picture of them was a little amusing, and headed into the bedroom.
"I bet when he jerks off tonight he'll be thinking about you," JC whispered suddenly, and out of the blue. "He had that look in his eyes."
Joey barked out a laugh, and was surprised when it didn't draw AJ back out of his bedroom. "The other way round, maybe," he admitted. "AJ? I just don't know about him, man. Even if the thought occurred to him, I'm not sure it's something he'd enjoy. You know? And I'd hate to be the source of crushing guilt in a straightboy."
"I don't think he's all that crushable," JC pointed out stubbornly. "At least not about sex stuff. He's not really shy about that at all. And anyway, I still don't know if he's all that straight. But I guess it'll all work out." He went limp, relaxing against Joey completely. "Thank you for watching the icky girlyporn with me."
"Like I had any choice in the matter," Joey teased him, planting a kiss on the top of his head. "Though I just don't get how a person can prefer those lumpy breast-things to a nice, hard cock. You know? There's no logic to it."
"Ew," JC said, giggling. "Please don't say things like 'nice hard cock,' Joey, please. And as I recall, you were fairly fond of the boobs back in the day yourself." He poked Joey in the side. "There was a dick in the movie, anyway. It could have been *lesbian* porn, and then what would you have done?"
"Read a book?" said Joey innocently. He knew exactly what he would have been doing, the same thing he'd been doing during this one -- watching JC, and AJ, watch it. "And I only liked boobs before I knew better. I always liked touching myself, and touching other boys is even better."
"Yeah, well," JC sighed. "I like touching myself too, but it's better when there's boobs, even if they're only in my mind. I guess we're just wired differently, is all." He kissed Joey's cheek, sweetly. "And I should go home and sleep in my bed, before my mom forgets what I look like. Are you okay? Are you good?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Joey promised him. "I'm just a little... off-balance, you know? But it's good, it's... I'm really relieved. I'm really happy. Anyway... we can talk more later, Jace. Go home. Talk to you tomorrow?"
"Always," JC nodded. "I can stay if you need to talk more, but your eyes are doing that sleepy thing. And anyway, you'll be even more happy and relieved and in balance tomorrow, and then you'll know if there's anything wrong or if it was just reaction." He kissed Joey's cheek again and started to untangle himself.
"Thanks, Jace," said Joey comfortably, releasing him. "I know I can count on you, whenever. Don't worry, I am good, and you're right. I think this whole day is starting to catch up with me. I'm gonna crash any time now."
"Good. You need good sleep, because don't you have that midterm next week? Anyway. I'm going to go sleep too." He stretched towards the ceiling, baring his tummy, and cracked his back, sighing with satisfaction. "Much better. Night, Joey!"
"Night, Jace," he said, waggling his fingers at him and slumping back onto the couch as he watched JC leave. He would get up in a few minutes to lock the door. For now, he just wanted to bask in the quiet, and relax for the first time all night.
* * *
"I picked up Chinese!" Joey called out, kicking the door shut behind him and dropping the bags on the kitchen counter. "Aje, you home?" He glanced up at the clock, then laughed softly. "I'm an idiot," he muttered to himself. "It's Saturday night, of course you're not home. Only losers like me studying for midterms are home."
"I'm here," AJ's voice shouted from the bedroom. "Show's cancelled, Benny got the flu, so I'm home." He poked his head out the door. "You're not a loser, Fatone. Well, not for that reason, anyway. What'd you get? Can I have some, I'll pay you back."
"Yeah, course you can," Joey said, raising his voice again, even though it clearly wasn't necessary. "I brought it for the both of us, before I remembered that not everyone stays home on Saturday night. You like eggrolls, right? Even though they're totally faux?"
"I live for 'em," AJ said fervently, making his way out of his room, guitar in hand. "I think I'm staying in tonight, I been out the last three. Even without hangovers, I'm starting to get pretty worn out." He set the guitar aside and headed straight for the bag Joey had set on the table. "What're you up to, just studying tonight?"
"That was the plan," Joey admitted. "Eat, study, eat some more, watch some tv, study frantically until I crash. Sleep. Repeat." He turned and gave AJ a grin, pulling containers out of the bag. "I know. I have such an exciting life."
"Hey, man," AJ grinned back at him. "I'm not gonna judge. Mine's the same, except with a little more sex with chicks thrown in, and instead of the studying I go to work." He shrugged and grabbed for the lo mein. "Did you get chopsticks and duck sauce? Please say you did."
"Who wouldn't?" Joey asked him, feigning astonishment. He had both hands back in the bag to haul things out when there was a knock at the door. "The hell?" he said, glancing towards it. "No one buzzed up. Can you get that, Aje? It's probably Jace, he always manages to get someone to let him in."
"That boy," AJ shook his head as he headed for the door. "He's something, all right. Did he tell you about the old lady-" AJ's voice cut off like someone had hit a switch, and there was a sharply indrawn breath and then dead silence.
"AJ," it was an unfamiliar voice, light and soft but desperate. "Please."
The silence stretched out long enough that Joey got the unmistakable sense that something was wrong. "Aje?" he said, setting the chopsticks down on the counter and leaving everything where it was to join AJ at the door. "Who's...?" He just barely recognized the blond guy from the club, the one AJ hadn't wanted to see. "What's going on?"
"Please!" the guy said again, and he looked like he was in pretty bad shape. "Please, I won't... I don't want to... can I come in?"
"Why?" AJ's voice was short and clipped and angry, but his body language said he was worried about this guy. Young guy, Joey realized, for all his size. "What do you want, Nick? I'm not coming back, I'm not gonna go out to some party with you."
"No," he said, resting his hand against the door frame and, it looked like, resting most of his weight on it, too. " I'm not going out. I don't *want* to go out anymore. I... Aje," he said, lifting his head to meet AJ's eyes. "Please. Help me?"
AJ looked back at Joey, seemingly almost frozen with indecision. "Joey," he said softly. "Joe, he's one of my old friends. I know I said they wouldn't be showing up, so it's your call." He steadied Nick with one hand as Nick swayed a little. "He's a good kid, though, he really is. Your call."
Joey just nodded his head. Nick didn't look like he could even stand up much longer, and Joey wasn't the kind of guy to leave him standing in the hallway. "You like Chinese, Nick?" he asked, taking hold of the door and opened it wider. "We were just gonna eat."
AJ looked at Joey, and nodded, and Joey could almost feel his gratitude. "Come on in, Nick," AJ urged, and tugged him in through the door and straight to one of the couches in the living room.
"I'm not hungry," Nick said quietly, and he sounded like he was going to cry. "Maybe later? If there's eggrolls left." He collapsed onto the couch like he was never going to move again.
"Good thing I always stock up on eggrolls," said Joey, moving back to the kitchen but keeping an eye on them anyway. "No offense, but *I'm* still gonna eat. Been a long day, I just finished working at my shit job." AJ was already sitting next to Nick, though, and Joey wasn't sure either of them was listening to him.
"You were hard to find," murmured Nick, "but I had to... no one else would... and you try to stop and everyone keeps dragging you back in and I had no idea, no idea how hard it would be. I'm sorry, AJ, I really am..."
"Hey," AJ said, quietly, but he was sliding his arm around Nick's shoulders as he did, and settling down beside him on the couch. "So you know I'm hard to find for a reason, now, huh? Did you tell the guys where I am? I really don't wanna make trouble here, Nick. They can't come here."
"I didn't tell no one,' said Nick, closing his eyes and sinking back. "It was just for me, to find you. Cause no one else would listen, AJ... no one else cared..."
"Okay, okay." AJ was patting his shoulder. "Okay, so, you stopped, huh? And it's harder than you thought it would be? It's really, really hard to stop on your own, kiddo. If you're serious about it let me take you to a place, okay? You're doing great so far, I can tell, coming here was the right thing to do."
"No, I can do it," said Nick, his voice getting a little stronger. "I can't afford to go nowhere, and I can do this. But the guys... were we that bad, to you, AJ? For real?"
"Yeah," AJ said, after a long pause. "Yeah, you all were pretty bad." He sighed, glanced over his shoulder at Joey. "But I got out of it, you know, and you can too. Nicky, man, you can go to the county place for close to free, you know. It ain't the best but they got some good programs." Joey noticed AJ's voice getting rougher, his accent and grammar getting worse, and wondered just what kinds of friends he'd had before. "Why'd you get off it, anyway? What happened?"
"I had to do it," he said, even more firmly than before. "It just got too bad, AJ, everything was just getting terrible and one day I *saw* it. I saw it and I saw that my life was just nothing. It was shit. It was shit before, but everything was just making it worse, not better..."
"One day when," AJ pressed. "How long, now, how long's it been since you had a drink? And are you off all the other stuff, too? You going clean cold turkey, 'cause that's hard, Nick." He started rubbing Nick's shoulder. "You go to AA or anything even?"
"First time, yesterday," said Nick, and Joey didn't miss the pride in that voice. "I'm off everything, so far. Since Tuesday. When you said you were going. So I'm doing good, right? That's good?"
"That's damn good," AJ nodded, his voice completely sincere. "That's amazing. Good job, and I'm glad you're going to AA. That'll help a whole lot. So, why Tuesday? All that happened Tuesday was me getting my shit together and moving out, it wasn't that big a deal."
"Maybe not to you," said Nick quietly. "The guys and me, when you were gone, we got totally loaded, big fucking party, you know? And everyone was there, even Manda, and you know all about me and Manda. And Christ... we fucked, right? I'm not even sure we closed the door before we did, not that it mattered. And a couple hours later, when the buzz started to fade, it was like... I drank myself sick, fucked a girl I hate, spent the last of my money so I got nothing left even for food until my next cheque, and WHY? Why was I doing that shit, when somehow you got your shit together, and a real job and a nice place like this... and a life again."
There was silence in the living room again for a long moment. "I can't believe you fucked Manda," AJ finally said, sighing. "Okay, that makes sense, then, I get it. I know that feeling, believe me. And...good for you, Nick." He looked back at Joey again, and gave a helpless little shrug. "C'mon, relax, have some chinese food, no one's gonna bug you here. You can chill for a while."
Joey took that as his cue to bring some of the food into the living room, though still as unobtrusively as possible. "Hey," he said as he set it down. "I'm Joey. You want some water or juice or anything, Nick?" Nick shook his head, but AJ nodded so Joey went back for some.
"I didn't know where else to come," Nick was saying when Joey got back. "I didn't mean to bust in on your nice, clean, new life here, but I really didn't know..."
"It's okay," AJ said quietly. "It wouldn't have been okay if you'd showed up trashed and looking for money, but this is okay. You're doing a good thing." He smiled gratefully at Joey and handed Nick the water. "Say hi to Joey, he's my roommate. He's a real good guy."
"Hi, Joey," Nick said, looking up at Joey through long, pale lashes. "Thanks for letting me come in."
Damn, but he was pretty. Even in the rough shape he was currently in. "It was no problem," Joey said, taking a seat in the chair. "I brought you an egg roll and some rice, if you decide you want 'em. AJ, you go ahead and dig in, I bought lots. I hope you guys don't mind if I sit here and read my textbook and be all boring."
"I didn't mean to interrupt anything," Nick said quickly. "I just had to get out, I had to run, I couldn't be there, not tonight."
"Weekend night," AJ said knowingly, nodding. "It's too crazy, there's too much going on. We're not doing anything, really, Joe's got studying and I was just gonna play music and watch some TV, kind of relax. You can hang out, if you want, you're not interrupting anything." He looked questioningly at Joey, reassuring himself that it was okay.
Nick sighed and slumped down a little, reaching for the water with a hand that was only shaking a little.
"Yeah, it's totally fine," Joey said, reaching down beside the chair for his books. "I got mid-terms coming up, so I'm gonna be pretty quiet. It's not a problem."
"Thanks," Nick said quietly, before turning back to AJ. "I got a place, for tonight," he told him. "In case you were thinking I was trying to find crash space. I got a place, for later, for tonight. So don't worry."
"Is it a good place?" AJ shot another look at Joey, but kept up the questions. "Someplace where you're not going to get a hassle? Because you're looking pretty beat, kiddo, and we've got a couch. Joey's gonna disappear into his books, I bet, so it'll be quiet here." He squeezed Nick around the shoulders. "If you need a night off, just a break, you can stay."
"It's a shelter," admitted Nick, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he hung his head forward. "So yeah, quiet, no hassle. I called ahead and I got a bed, so really, you don' need to be worrying 'bout that. I'm lookin' out for myself now."
"Yeah, you are," AJ nodded, rubbing the back of his head. "But hey, listen, you should call that shelter back and have 'em give that bed to someone else, 'cause you should really stay here. The shower's cleaner, I bet, and I can throw your clothes in with my wash tonight."
Nick looked uncertainly from him to Joey and back again, and AJ nodded intently.
"Absolutely," Joey said, to quell both of their concern. "We got the room, and we're sure not having any party in here tonight. You should stay. After all, I let my friend JC crash here all the time."
"Okay," said Nick quietly. "But I... I didn't tell you that so you'd give me a place. I told you that so's you'd know I was doin' it for myself, you know?"
"I know, I can tell," AJ smiled, relieved. "And that's sure a sign you're serious. I spent a couple nights there myself--the one on Westmont, right?--and it's a bed and all, but you're probably gonna want to find someplace else if you can. Maybe start lookin' for another place, you know? It makes a big difference, gettin' out of that house."
"I can't, not yet," admitted Nick, sounding a little but frustrated and a little bit desperate. "I got no place else permanent. But I will, when I can. I'm gonna get a job, a real job, not what I got now, and I'm gonna save some money and I'm gonna get out, AJ. I really am."
"Yeah, you will," AJ said encouragingly, handing Nick an eggroll. "You'll be fine, you'll get out, you're a strong kid. But for now just sit there and chill, eat something, relax. You got a place for tonight anyway, so you can get some good sleep, that'll help too. And tomorrow we'll get a paper and look for jobs, a'right?"
"I been," said Nick, closing his eyes again and trying to wave the food away. He'd been putting up a brave front, but the kid looked really ill. "But I don't got my high school, so there's not so much out there really. But there's a warehouse out on Furby that maybe needs some people. I was gonna go check it out once I'm, you know, less shaky."
"We can work on that, too," AJ said, watching him with a worried little frown on his face. "Get you signed up to get your GED, once you're back on your feet a little bit. It'll all work out, Nick." He pressed the food on Nick, also reaching for the glass of water. "You gotta eat and keep your energy up a little bit. Just eat this, then you can crash, okay?"
"The eggrolls are really good," Joey chimed in quietly, trying to help. "We got noodles, too."
"I haven't been keeping much down," Nick admitted, taking the egg roll finally. "Been trying, though, but the body isn't taking it so well. I had lunch, though. Soup, at that place, and it was okay. Still kinda feeling wired, too, not sleeping enough, I think. I dunno what that's all about."
"I can get soup," Joey offered. "If that would help?"
"No, no," said Nick. "Don't got to no trouble for me. I'm all right."
"They got soup at the deli downstairs," AJ said, though, still looking worried. "And I'm pretty sure I got some Campbell's at the store when we went yesterday. It's really not a trouble, you know. Think about it as keepin' you conscious and breathing on our couch, 'kay?"
"Today's beef and barley at the deli," Joey said, watching them. "Might be good, lots of energy in that."
"I'll try the eggroll first," Nick insisted, and he seemed just *so* determined to be able to take care of himself. It must've taken a lot, for him to show up and ask AJ for help in the first place. "Then maybe. Maybe."
"Well, I'm gonna go get some," said Joey decisively. "That way if you decide it'll help, it'll already be here. I'll be right back, you guys." And before Nick could argue with him -- and he was sure Nick *would* argue with him -- Joey grabbed his keys and his wallet and headed out the door.
He could hear voices murmuring then rising a little behind him as he closed the door and clattered down the stairs, automatically avoiding the protruding nail a couple of steps up from the door, and heading straight down to the deli.
"Joey!" JC waved at him excitedly, sporting a scruff of new facial hair. "You almost missed me, cat, I'm done for the night. What are you up to?"
"Picking up some soup for our houseguest," said Joey, glancing at his watch. Or rather, at his wrist where his watch would be if he was wearing one. He didn't want to be gone too long. "Not doing much tonight. I know Timberlake is having that party, but I've got mid-terms and even if he doesn't care about his grades, I do. What about you?"
"You've got a houseguest?" JC started spooning soup out of the pot on the hotplate, into a container. "I was gonna go to Justin's, it's supposed to be kind of a rager. But, ah." He looked sideways at Joey. "Justin was supposed to call you, Chris is gonna be there. I think he kind of wants to see you again. Justin says he misses youa whole lot, in a friends way, you know?"
"God," said Joey, stopping right in his tracks for a moment and closing his eyes. "Okay, you know what? I can't even deal with that right now. I mean, I can, but not right this second. He probably did call, I didn't even think to check the messages." He grabbed himself a pack of gum, too, while he was here. "AJ's got a guy over, a friend. He's only, like, four days sober and having a rough night. Listen, if you go to the party, just make sure Chris knows I'm not totally avoiding him, okay? I really do need to study. He can email me or something, I won't delete it."
"Okay, I'll tell him," JC nodded hard. "I'm sure he knows you've got midterms anyway, I know Justin mentioned it and Justin barely pays attention to anything that isn't the gym or something he can sleep with. Here's your soup, and oh, Joey, here's crackers too. Tell the guy I hope he feels better." He dashed behind the counter and came back with a bottle of Pepto Bismol. "It soothes the stomach," he said solemnly, as he handed it to Joey.
"Right, thanks," said Joey, pulling out his wallet. Thankfully, there was some money in there. "I'll tell him, I'm sure he'll appreciate that there are at least some people pulling for him. Um. Is Chris... have you seen him lately, Jace? How's he doing, anyway?"
JC tipped his head noncommittally. "He's doing okay, I guess. Kind of sad, but you know Chris, he hides it pretty well. He really does miss you, though, he asks about you all the time." He took Joey's money and stuffed it into the register. "You want me to tell him anything, when he asks about you?"
"Tell him I'm doing okay," I guess," said Joey with half a shrug. "It's the truth, after all. You can tell him I came out to the fam, he might be interested to know that. Otherwise... he knows I miss him. You can't be with a guy that long and not miss him when it's over. Even though... I'm not *pining*, not anymore." And for maybe the first time, it was the truth.
"So, pretty much the same as him," JC nodded. "He'll want to see you eventually. Maybe when you've both had a little more time it'll be better, and you can talk without yelling." He winced a little, probably at the memory of the volume they'd reached there at the end, Joey thought. "Now, go take care of that guy, okay? And if you need anything else, well, I'll leave a note for the night guy."
"I know we'll have to see each other sooner or later," he said, tucking the bag up under his arm, careful with the soup. "I've come to terms with that. Just... not today. I think I'm set for the night now, but thanks. Call me tomorrow, tell me how the party went?"
"'Course," JC nodded again, gave him a careful hug, and headed back behind the counter. "You have a good night too. Tell AJ I say hi, okay? And I've got that shirt we were talking about, I'll give it to him next time I see him." He waved cheerfully.
"I'll totally tell AJ you said hi, the guy totally loves you," said Joey, puzzling over the shirt comment for a moment before letting it go. "I've gotta run, no telling how Nick is doing. It's gotta be rough. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Jace." He waved and turned and headed back upstairs before the soup got cold.
The apartment was quiet from outside, but when he opened the door he could hear the rise and fall of Nick's voice and AJ's occasional much lower rumble of response. Nick was talking fast, and it sounded strained and kind of hyper, like the words were pouring out of him without much control.
"Joey's back," AJ said, glancing up to look at Joey. "Here's your soup, Nicky."
Half the eggroll was gone, but that was about it. Still, that was more than Nick had clearly expected himself to do, so that was good. "Jace says hi, AJ, and he foisted off some pepto bismol onto me," said Joey, unpacking the bag. "I'm not sure it'll do much good, but we have it anyway, just in case. Probably good for rampaging stomach acids and stuff. Right?"
"Right," AJ nodded firmly. "Best stuff for you, really, 'cause it just settles everything down. Bottoms up, Nick, and *then* the soup, and then I'll grab you a blanket and some pillows. This couch might be a little short for you, but it's comfortable." He handed Nick the pink bottle, and set out the soup and crackers within easy reach.
"I don't really want to take anything," said Nick candidly, staring at the bottle with some suspicion. "I just never know when I'm gonna take to something and never get enough, you know? I'm not sure I'm in a good place in my head to be able to just, like, take something for the reason it's s'posed to be taken--"
"Don't worry," said Joey, half interrupting him. It sounded like Nick could go on and on if he let him. "You're no more likely to get hooked on this than Chinese food. All it does is coat you up so you can keep things down. And if anyone should know, it would be AJ, right?"
"You can't get hooked on Pepto," AJ said, almost smiling, it looked like. "Trust me, you can't, and it'll help your stomach settle a little. You'll be able to eat, and I bet it'll help you sleep, too." He poured out a dose and handed it to Nick, and then subtly tipped his head towards the kitchen, urging Joey to follow him as Nick contemplated the pink liquid and the soup.
"Thank you," AJ said, low-voiced, as soon as they were out of the room. "Thanks for putting up with this, you didn't sign up for this, I know."
"It's not even a big thing," Joey assured him. "He's way quieter than Jace is, and I sure don't have any hesitation to bring Jace around whenever the urge strikes me. There's not really much there to put up with. I mean, I get that you and him have a huge history and I'm thinking that not all of it is pretty, but to me, well, he's just your friend who's come over. So don't worry about it, ok?"
"A'right," AJ nodded, though he still seemed a little worried. "Thanks, all the same. I appreciate it, and I know Nick does too. Weekends can get pretty out of hand at that place." He smiled at Joey, tipped a shoulder, and jogged back in to Nick's side. "Now the soup," Joey could hear him ordering.
Joey cleaned the bags off the counter and wiped things down before returning to the living room. He wasn't going to want to do it later; might as well do it now. "Do you want any more to drink, Nick?" he called out as he got himself a Coke.
"More water?" suggested Nick, and Joey smiled. Good for him, asking for something. And really, he *wasn't* being a bother at all. Way less demanding than most of the people Joey had over.
Joey got him a glass of water, and a second Coke for AJ, and joined them in the living room again, in time to watch Nick try to get some soup into his mouth.
His hand was shaking harder now, but he did manage to keep most of it from spilling. His face was red, though Joey couldn't tell if it was embarrassment or sickness or the warmness of the room.
"Just hold the soup closer," AJ suggested, not making any bigger a deal of it than that, and opening a package of crackers so he could munch on one himself. He turned away, giving Nick a little privacy to struggle with the spoon, and tossed the remote to Joey. "Your call for TV tonight, man. What do you want for studying background noise?"
"TBS is showing Field of Dreams, and then Ghost," said Joey, giving AJ a bit of a sheepish smile. "I know, I know. They're not my favourites either. But I don't mind them and I've seen em both enough times to only pay half attention, and that's the important thing. Or the Discovery channel is fine, too. I'm pretty good at concentrating when I need to. Nick you have any preferences, or do you think you're gonna crash soon?"
"I don't care," Nick said, his voice thin and tired and trembly. "I'm gonna crash no matter what's on, I think, as long as there ain't people screaming or pouring beer on me or whatever. This is a great place you got here, you guys."
"It's home," AJ said, with a little smile. "TBS is *always* playing Ghost. That and The American President. But I like Field of Dreams a lot, just leave it there."
"Good that you can get some rest, then," said Joey, shooting Nick a smile. "We won't be loud or nothing, I got all this studying to do. Oh, and Aje, if you do feel like going out tonight after all, Justin's having a thing at his place. That's where Jace was headed, once he got off work. I don't know how wild it's gonna get, though, and. Well. Chris is gonna be there, so I probably wouldn't've gone anyway."
"Oh?" AJ looked intensely curious, for a moment, before his face went smooth again. "Really. I gotta say, I'm interested in meeting Chris. You hear so much about a person..." He shrugged. "Probably not tonight, though, I'm gonna hang here with Nick. Catch up a little, right, Nick?"
"Right," Nick's laugh was rusty and sounded painful. "Once I wake up from the fuckin' coma." He set the soup aside, half-finished, and slumped against the side of the couch, deflating.
Half the soup was a lot better than none at all, Joey figured. It was probably the most Nick'd had to eat since he'd started the whole thing. While AJ took care of him, got him settled into pillows and blankets, Joey grabbed the leftover food and started putting it in the fridge. Another thing where, if he left it for even a little while, he became less and less likely to do it at all.
"There's food left for later," he told them, keeping his voice lower in case Nick was already sleeping. "I know *I'll* be wanting some, anyway."
"Me too," AJ said, his voice also low as he tucked the blanket around Nick's shoulders, lifting his feet up to the couch and stretching him out as much as possible. Nick didn't so much as twitch, or change his steady, even, slow breathing. "He's out like a light," AJ added, staring down at him before shaking his head with a sigh and sitting crosslegged on the carpet.
"Good," said Joey when he returned to the living room. "He looked like he really needed it. I'm glad he's staying; I'd never want to send him away when looking like that. Unless he was trashing the place, but I'm figuring that's the *last* thing on his mind right now. He doing okay, you think?"
"As well as can be expected, considering how much blow an' booze he used to do," AJ said tiredly. "I'm pretty amazed he's here, I gotta say. Nicky's the last one I would've expected to just up and quit like that." He glanced at Nick's sleeping face again. "He won't be trashing much for a while if he feels like I remember that feeling. He's lucky he got here in one piece, but he's a sturdy kid."
"I'm okay, if you want him to stay here for a little while," Joey offered slowly, waiting for some sort of sign to see how that would be received. "Not permanent or anything, just until he kinda gets on his feet again. He seems like a good kid who just needs someone to give him a break. Probably something like you were, back when."
AJ bristled for an instant, then relaxed and shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "He's...well, for one thing, he might not want to, he's an independent little fucker. For another thing, he was incredibly shitty to me when *I* was trying to quit drinking, and I'm not sure how over that I am just yet." He glanced up at Joey apologetically. "I oughtta be a bigger person than that, I know, but I'm still a little bitter."
Joey gave him a tight smile. "I'd guessed as much," he admitted. "Well, it's totally up to you guys, if you want to do it or not. I just wanted you to know that it's not a problem for me, if he's around for a little while, till the worst of it passes. I oughtta be a bigger person about seeing Chris again, but I'm not, so I know where you're coming from."
"I can offer," AJ admitted. "I don't like sending him out onto the street or into some shelter, not when he can't even stay awake. No matter how pissed off I still am at him, I couldn't do something like that, not when he looks like he's making a serious effort to turn around, you know?" He sighed. "An' like I said, he probably won't accept anyway. You know, I haven't really seen Sarah since we broke up either. That don't mean you're not a big person, just that it was hard."
"Yeah, well, Jace told me today that Chris wanted to see me, and I'm totally not going, so I don't know. Maybe I am a little bitter still." But not pining, and that was a nice change. "It's totally up to you, about Nick, but given what you've told me about the place you guys were living, it might be a nice break. Give him some time to un-fuck-up a little, maybe give you a long overdue apology. If he accepts."
"If he accepts," AJ nodded. "I'll offer. That's real nice of you, man." He tilted his head and favored Joey with one of his rare, bright, genuine smiles. "You *do* have midterms to study for. That's a legitimate excuse for not going to hang out with your ex and having a shitty time, you know."
"Yeah, it was a great excuse," said Joey, returning the smile. "And if I really did want to avoid him for at least another few days, well, that just works out in my favour. I totally would've had a shitty time. Justin was supposed to call and tell me he was gonna be there but he never did; I'm glad I heard from Jace, at least." The light wasn't blinking on the machine; Justin really *hadn't* called.
"That would've been rough, running into him there without any warning," AJ nodded. "It's bad enough even *with* prep time. You can bond with this one--" he jerked a thumb in Nick's direction, "--about that, that Manda chick he was talking about is the evillest of all evil exes." He shook his head again. "Maybe Justin realized you wouldn't be going anyway and didn't even think to call. Midterms, man, you *have* been a little insane."
"I know, I know," said Joey. "I just need to keep my grades up, you know? They yank scholarships like *that* if you don't keep your socks pulled up. So. Huh. At least I'm not likely to sleep with *my* evil ex. Man. He must've been really fucked up to do that, huh?"
"Seriously, brutally out of his gourd," AJ nodded. "She used to smack him around, she got him kicked out of his house, she stole a bunch of his shit. Crazy chick, man. He really loved her for a while there, but it wasn't healthy at *all*." He sighed, and stretched out on the rug, one eye on "Field of Dreams." "Your ex ain't really evil, though, is he? I mean, you still got his picture in the drawer in here, and all."
"Nah, he ain't evil," Joey admitted. "He's a good guy. We're just... not good together, anymore. Nothing like her, damn, that kinda shit can really fuck with you. Poor kid. Whether he was an asshole to you or not."
"Yeah," AJ nodded. "I got a big old soft spot for him, I admit it. He's just a mess, and he kinda does what the other guys do. Now if one a THEM had showed up at the door...no way, no way. I'd've called the shelter for 'em, but that would've been it." He looked sideways at Joey. "He's also down with the gay thing, which was a consideration."
Joey gave him half a smile. "Thanks for that," he said quietly. "I'd wondered. He a friend of Howie's too, then? It's good to know he's got people looking out for him. Seems like maybe he just lost his way."
"He's a friend of Howie's," AJ confirmed. "They were pretty tight, actually, for a while there. He's not an asshole, really, he's just kinda young, I guess. He don't take real well to being looked out for, though, and he got real drunk and punched Howie when he tried to take a drink away from him one time, so we stopped. I kinda regret that now."
"Well, obviously it's not too late, if he came looking for you for help," Joey reminded him. "He came here and asked, AJ. That's gotta mean something, I think. Maybe he's figured that he can't do this totally on his own."
"That's a good point," AJ conceded. "He must be in even worse shape than he looks, though, to show up here. Like I said, he's the most independent little fuck I've ever met, it's like a knee-jerk thing with him about accepting help." He sighed, and stretched again. "If you're not careful with that generosity of yours, this is gonna turn into Fatone and McLean's Home For Wayward Boys."
"Yeah, well, there are worse things to be," said Joey, giving him a rueful grin. "And for a wayward boy, Nick's awfully quiet and accommodating. I'll just... treat him all normal and see what comes of it. I *am* gonna clean the booze out of the place, though. I know you were all right with it just being hidden away, but I don't think NIck's ready to take that step."
"Nick's very quiet and accomodating," AJ nodded, "when he's asleep." He grinned back at Joey. "That's pretty cool of you, man, but...I don't know, I feel kinda bad. Maybe you should just get a lock for one of the cabinets? I don't wanna disrupt your life any more than it already has been."
"Don't feel bad," insisted Joey. "It was my idea and my choice, neither one of you asked me to. It's just going into my room for now, anyway, but don't tell him that. I'll figure out something more permanent tomorrow, if he decides to stick around for a little while."
"Okay," AJ nodded. "I'm not even gonna bring it up with him, not unless he asks, but just in case...that's very cool." He hadn't looked away from Joey's face for a while, those big eyes of his measuring and calm, and he nodded again. "You're quite a guy, Joe. Chris is a moron."
Joey smiled at him gratefully, even though he felt the little 'Chris clench'. "Thanks," he said. "I'm far from perfect, though, as you'll see when you've been here more than a few days. I'm sure it's probably even worse when you've been sleeping with me for a couple of years."
AJ blinked at him, then smiled slowly, almost suggestively. "Oh, maybe, but I'm guessing there would be compensations," he almost purred. "Nobody's perfect, but you're a damn good guy, better than most I've met, and somehow manage to be not-boring at the same time. *And* you've got great friends, which I think can actually be a decent way to judge character."
Joey was startled enough to fall silent for a moment, then he gave him another grin. "I definitely do have great friends," he agreed with him. "And you'd better believe that there are definite perks to sleeping with me. But yeah, no, Chris... " He sighed. "It's so complicated, man, I don't even know how to tell it. Shit happens." Nick mumbled something in his sleep, but still appeared to be completely out of it. "I'm gonna move that stuff."
"Okay," AJ said, finally looking away. "I'd help you, but that'd probably be a pretty shitty idea. I'm just gonna sit here and make sure Nick keeps sleeping, and watch this crappy movie, and not think about shit happening. And then you, dude, should study."
"Yes, mom," said Joey, winking at him as he put his book down and finally really got up. He could just stash everything in his closet for now, and then move it to Jace's place if Nick decided to stick around. It wasn't really any huge deal; really, he was already getting used to it.
Nick was muttering fitfully in his sleep when Joey returne, but AJ absently reached out and ran a hand through his messy blond hair, and he calmed. As soon as he stopped, AJ went back to eating the leftover food and reading his paper, and Joey opened his books with a little smile.
* * *
"I didn't make breakfast," said Joey, looking under the couch cushions for his missing notebook, "but there's juice and bread and fruit. Don't eat that bacon, though, I'm really not sure how long it's been in there." It was unlikely the book would be in the couch; Nick surely would have noticed if he'd slept on it. Then again, he was still sleeping like the dead most of the time, so maybe.
"I don't know how to make bacon anyway," Nick responded, from his spot in the kitchen staring at the coffeemaker like it would produce coffee more quickly that way. "I'm okay with coffee."
"Holy fuck, who called this early?" AJ appeared, rumpled and sleepy, dressed only in boxer briefs, glowering at the world. "Tell me so I can kill the fucker. The phone should NEVER ring before noon."
"Nick, eat something," insisted Joey, checking in among AJ's porn tapes. No notebook there, either. "Even something small. It'll help your stomach."
"Not real hungry," Nick said, but Joey heard him opening the bread. "It was for me, sorry AJ. Howie called." Joey waited for him to elaborate as he crawled across the room and checked under the chair, but Nick just went on making his toast.
AJ growled wordlessly and stomped into the kitchen. "What are you doing on the floor, Joe?" he asked in passing, treating Joey to a lovely view of the tattoo on his flat stomach.
"He's looking for something," Nick said sleepily. "I dunno what. Here." He shoved coffee into AJ's waiting hands, heading off another diatribe.
"I'm just waiting for you, big boy," Joey joked, rolling over onto his back and checking inside the cabinet of the end table. Not there either. "Lost my notebook somewhere." AJ just grunted and Joey could hear him sip the coffee.
"I got my stuff packed," said Nick a minute later, after drinking some of his own coffee. "Not that there was much. You guys finally get to get rid of me."
"If you're talking about the blue notebook, it's under your coat on the chair by the door," AJ said to Joey. "Wait, what? Where are you going? I told you you could stay here, you're not going back to that house." He blinked, drank more coffee. "Oh, right, Howie called."
Joey scrambled to the chair and lo and behold, there it was. He smacked a kiss onto the front cover before opening it to find the quote he was looking for.
"He said I could stay with him for a while," said Nick, with exaggerated casualness. "I can't stay with you forever, after all. You guy's've already done too much for me, with everything, and all."
AJ held up a hand. "No more talking until I finish this cup of coffee," he demanded, and proceeded to do just that, before pouring himself a refill and dragging Nick out to the couch. "Now, what's this? How's staying with Howie any different than staying with us?"
Joey snatched up his other notebook and perched himself on the chair and started to write, keeping one ear on the conversation.
"It's not," Nick said, kicking his bagout of their way. "I'm not staying with him any more'n a few days neither. And then I'll find someplace else again, until I got money for my own. That's how it goes."
"Dumbass," AJ said affectionately. "You can come back here if you want, if the couches run dry after a while. But if you wanna go stay with Howie, you go stay with Howie. He'll make sure you eat and sleep, and he can even hook you up with some job interviews, I bet."
"No more than a few days," said Nick stubbornly. "You guys aren't gonna do this for me, I can take care of myself. I got myself into this mess and I'm gonna drag myself out. I do got an interview on Monday, though, did I tell ya?"
"No, hey, that's great," AJ said, extremely enthusiastically for him at that hour of the morning. "You need a reference you just holler. And you listen." He grabbed Nick's chin and forced him to look at him. "Ain't no shame in asking for a little help when you're down, or taking it to help yourself when it's offered. That shelter ain't a good place for someone like you."
"It's why it's there," said Nick, just as stubborn as AJ. "So people have someplace to go. It ain't that bad, and I haven't earned better yet. I want something better, I gotta earn it myself. This job... it's construction, but I'm built for that, 'specially once I put some weight on again. Then maybe i'll deserve a real place."
AJ rolled his eyes expressively in Joey's direction, but Joey was staying out of this one. "You deserve a place to sleep where people ain't trying to steal your shit," he argued, but then sighed. "Well, whatever, but if you need a place to dump your bag or shower or whatever, you can do that here. The shelter's not far away anyway. I don't think Howie's gonna let you go, though, so it ain't gonna matter. And construction pays GREAT, so you'll have a place soon." He punched Nick's arm lightly. "Then we can have a housewarming for you."
Nick smiled at that thought, or maybe at the thought of having a real job. Or maybe just at the fact that he didn't have a headache all the time these last couple of days. "Maybe the shower, yeah," he admitted grudgingly. "Howie won't keep me forever, AJ, you know how he feels about my shit. But at least he's, you know, still talkin' to me."
"Howie..." AJ trailed off, glanced at Joey, then sighed and scratched his head, making his hair stick up even more. "Howie won't kick you out, dumbass, helikes you fine. He don't hold peoples' mistakes or whatever against them, not unless they're real bad, and you did nothing real, real bad. It'll be fine. And Howie won't let you go to that shelter, no way. Hey, and I even broke in his couch for you, it's real comfy."
"That means it's already shaped to your skinny ass," said Nick with a hint of a smile. "How's that comfortable? Not that I'm complainin'. Howie's been real good, since I told 'im, you know? But he won't keep me from cleaning up after myself, and if that means hitting the shelter for a while, then he'll let me go."
"My ass ain't skinny," AJ said with great dignity. "It's just right. And if you're already cleaning up after yourself or makin' good steps, he'll support you just like me. There's a difference between taking care of yourself and bein' a stubborn ass about shit for no reason, and you know Howie knows the difference too. He'll draw that line. But it ain't gonna matter, since you're gonna have a job."
"I'm not being a stubborn ass, I'm being me," said Nick. Joey couldn't see the distinction, though. "And I will have a job, but it'll be at least a couple weeks till I get paid, and a few more till I save up and. Uh. Pay off some debts and stuff. So."
AJ shrugged. "Far be it from me to talk you out of sleeping in a dumpster if you got your little heart set on it," he said mildly. "Stubborn ass. You better take us up on the shower offer, though, 'specially if you're working construction, or boy, you're gonna reek to high heaven. Then you'll get fired, then where'll you be?"
"I'm not gonna get fired!" said Nick, actually sounding alarmed. "I'm not getting fired no more, AJ, I'm gonna do a great job, I swear I am. I'm just gonnna... I'm working for myself. I'm not taking charity."
"I'm pretty sure Howie won't be thinking of it as charity," Joey put in. "Actually, I'm pretty sure Howie'll look at it as helping out a friend and getting a little bit of company in the bargain. Like we did."
"Oh, you know Howie?"
"Well, uh, kinda..." said Joey with and awkward grin, remembering.
"They screwed each other silly at my housewarming party," AJ said fondly, shaking his head. "Now, quit thinking about it as charity. Maybe keep track of days, if it's bugging you, and pay Howie some rent for the days you end up staying. Then it's not charity, he's just loaning you some space, and you'll pay him back later. That's just buddies."
Nick's eyes were wide on Joey, but AJ's words dragged his attention back away.
"You'd do the same for him, right?" said Joey. That may not have been true once, when Nick was still fucked up, but he was working hard to not be and Joey was sure he'd walk into traffic for these guys.
"That's different," said Nick, but his tone of voice suggested he was realizing that maybe it wasn't. "I ain't got nothing to give, anyway. Yet."
"We'll take you on credit," AJ said dryly, just as the doorbell rang. "That's Howie, I bet, right?" He buzzed the lock release and opened the door a crack.
"Right," Nick nodded, looking a little nervous. "I got all my stuff. And your phone number, and stuff, so thanks, you know. For everything, for not kickin' me out." He took a hesitant step and then threw his arms around AJ in an awkward hug.
AJ looked just as surprised, like they'd never really done that before. But Joey had seem them that first night when Nick had shown up, and other nights when he'd been sleeping, and he knew what kind of affection was there. It wasn't long before AJ was hugging him back.
"Take care of yourself," said Joey. "Come back and visit real soon, too, it's gonna be kinda weird here without you."
"Yeah," AJ teased, stepping back. "Joey must think I come with a big blond attachment, the way you showed up. Be good, kid. Call, at least, and come see us."
"He can even use my phone," Howie said from the door, where he had one shoulder propped against the frame. "Hey, Joe, how you doing? I'm here to collect the couch surfer." He flashed Joey a smile.
Joey grinned back fondly; Howie really was a great guy. "He's ready to go, I think," said Joey. "Not that we're pushing him out the door or nothing."
"Yeah, I got my stuff," said Nick, woefully little as it was. "Thanks, Howie. And AJ. And Joey. I think... I think I'm doing all right."
"You're looking a lot better," AJ nodded, with a smile at Nick. "Anytime, man. You're doing real good, you just keep it up, you hear me? And you call, let us know how you're doing."
"C'mon, kiddo," Howie said, grabbing Nick's small duffel and slinging it up to his shoulder. "I got a couch with your name all over it. And you two, god, think about getting a maid, all right?"
"I've been working, and Joey had midterms," AJ said defensively, shooing them. "Now go away."
"Right, we have very good reason to be slobs," said Joey firmly, and shot Nick a look to make sure *he* didn't feel responsible for keeping it up. Joey and AJ had mostly been worried about Nick keeping down food and getting past the shakes.
"Okay, going now," said Nick. Howie seemed to have some kind of calming effect on him, Joey realized. Some kind of stubbornness-dampening effect. Which was a very, very good thing. "I'll talk to you soon."
"You bet you will," said Joey. "And Howie, give us a call later too, okay? But not too late, AJ's gotta play tonight."
"And Joey's got his last test," AJ chimed in, "so really no calling late, or he'll bitch and moan for hours, and nobody needs that." He skipped prudently out of Joey's reach. Howie rolled his eyes at both of them and herded Nick out the door, giving them both a last wave.
"Well," AJ said into the sudden silence. "Guess it's just the two of us again."
"Again?" said Joey, giving him a sly grin. "I think it might be just the two of us for the first time. It's making me suspicious... I keep thinking Jace or someone else is gonna show up at our door any moment to crash on the couch."
"God for-fucking-bid," AJ said, flinging himself dramatically onto the couch. "I like this couch, and I haven't even really gotten to know it yet, it's a crying shame! And anyway, I think JC and I would probably come to blows over mirror time in the bathroom. It wouldn't be pretty." He tipped his head back on the arm of the couch so he could look into Joey's face. "Thanks again, for being so cool about the kid. He really needed this place."
"No worries," Joey assured him. "I could see myself he needed this place and didn't have anywhere else he thought he could really go. Whether he admitted that to himself or not. I'm real glad to see him doing so well, he seems like a nice kid, when he's being himself."
"Stubborn as a motherfucker," AJ complained, though the affection was clear behind the bitching. "I think that's how he got in trouble in the first place, he just wouldn't accept that was anything he couldn't handle, anything he shouldn't do. But he's a real nice kid, his heart's in the right place. And he does real good with Howie, they get along great, so that'll help too." He sighed and crossed his ankles, relaxing even more.
"Howie definisely seems to look out for him," agreed Joey. "Like a little brother or something. You had some pretty crummy friends, McLean, but you also had some really good ones in there and I'm glad to have met 'em. I hope Nick stays clean and keeps coming around; I think the rest of my friends would like him, too."
"Justin would wreck his pretty clothes with the drool if he met Nick," AJ said matter-of-factly, though he was clearly trying to hide a grin. "But I hope he stays sober too. He's such an asshole when he's drunk, and he's such a nice kid when he's not. I don't think he's gonna be ready for any parties for a while, though. Nick always did love a party."
"No, no parties," Joey agreed. He knew damn well what parties with his friends got like. "Just visits. I've never seen him drunk, but I like him sober. And yes, Justin would drool right all over him shamelessly. Like he did with you."
AJ rolled his eyes, though his cheeks slowly darkened with a betraying flush. "He was just being friendly," he said dismissively. "That wasn't nothing, you know, we were just being social and stuff. And if you like Nick sober, you'd probably hate him drunk, 'cause he's a completely different person. Me, I like the sober version myself."
"No, no, don't be embarrassed," said Joey casually but encouragingly. "Justin won't expect anything of you, he just liked you, is all. And hey, who could blame him, right? But anyway. I do like most people more when they're sober, so I'm sure Nick's no exception. He's doing good, though, he's doing real good I think."
"Hey, I liked him too," AJ said a little awkwardly, glancing away from Joey, face still red. "He's a great kid, a lot of fun, pretty gorgeous, what's not to like? But it wasn't, you know, anything. I wasn't leading him on or nothing." He shook himself lightly, like a dog, and looked back at Joey. "Yeah, Nick's doing really good, and I'm damn proud of him, you know?"
Joey just smiled at him. "I kinda figured you would be," he said. "Especially you kinda being his inspiration and all. It always feels good to do go. And hey... I didn't mean... I know you weren't leading Justin on, and Justin knows that too, he just crushes sometimes. Or not even crushes... he just gets interested without ever worrying if it's gonna be reciprocated."
"Right," AJ said, and curiously enough, his blush just got brighter. "Anyway. It's damn early, you know? I still can't believe Howie came to get Nick at the ass-crack of dawn. What're you doing tonight? After the studying, I mean."
"Well, you got a show, right?" said Joey, watching him curiously. "I figure, if I study hard this afternoon, I can treat myself to it later or something. And since I now have all the notes I need, that shouldn't be too hard to do. I swear, come this time of year it's a wonder I can find my own clothes in the morning. And just wait till you see me around finals."
AJ snickered. "If it's worse than this, I might just hide in my room and ride it out," he said, relaxing a little again. "It'd be great to see you at the show again. I think Howie might swing by, if Nick's all settled and shit, and I have a feeling Fiona asked JC to come. So. You wouldn't be sittin' all by yourself or anything."
"I'm secure enough to sit by myself," said Joey with a grin. "But I'd sure appreciate the company. And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised at *all* if Jace showed up. But I'm betting Howie's gonna end up staying in with Nick and making sure he's all okay, if I'm reading the guy right. I don't know him as well as you do, but I'm betting he's the type."
"He does act just like a hen with chicks when he gets a chance," AJ admitted. "He might just stay in and fuss over Nick, if Nick lets him, I guess. But JC, yeah, and it'll be good to see people there. I think they might be thinking of giving us a permanent weekend night gig," AJ added proudly. "We're bringing in good crowds now."
"Oh, hey, that's great news," said Joey. "Right, that's good news?" But it had to be, with that kind of expression on AJ's face. "You guys are really going places. One day I'll be able to say 'I knew him when'."
"I promise not to forget the little people," AJ said grandly, with a smile. "It's great news. Means we can actually make some decent money, be the house band, and still play gigs other places and look for a deal. It's all coming together now, man. It's looking bright, I'll say that." He sat up, suddenly energized, like the coffee had just kicked in. "And I gotta go practice, we're playing a new one tonight and I cannot suck."
"I'm sure you won't suck," said Joey, but he didn't discourage the practice. He needed to get to work anyway, and he'd taken a long enough break, even though it was earlier in the morning than he usually got going. "Can't wait to hear it."
"You'll probably hear more of it than you wanna," AJ said dryly, "since I'm probably gonna play it fifty times before I get it just right." He smiled at Joey, though, and reached out to run a finger over his notebook before he headed to his room. "Happy studying," he called back over his shoulder, before closing the door.
* * *
Another drink was what Joey needed, and then a few more after that because one was not going to be nearly enough for him to be able to handle this evening. Happily, Justin was stocked and wasn't stingy about Joey helping himself. And luckily AJ was busy with Justin, so Joey didn't even have to feel a twinge of guilt about it.
"Here." JC scooped some ice into a cup, poured some vodka in, and splashed orange juice over it all. "Drink slow, Joey. Last thing you want is to be totally shitfaced and acting all, you know, uncontrolled and shit." His hand on Joey's shoulder was warm and solid, though, and his eyes were soft and worried. "How are you doing?"
"I guess coming to *expect* a warning about a certain someone was presuming too much," he said, sipping as JC ordered him to. Because he could only just imagine what he might say if he got completely blitzed. "All things considered? I'm great. Just great."
"Joe," JC protested quietly, "you know I would've told you if I'd known he was gonna be here. And you know how much Justin wants you two to be okay, I bet he's hoping you'll reconcile or something like that. But you don't gotta talk to him if you don't want to, there are plenty of other people here to hang out with." Justin's and Lance's big living room was packed, actually, and Chris wasn't even in sight anymore.
"Not exactly the relaxing party I was looking forward to," chuckled Joey, a bit more bitterly than he meant to. The drink was going down fast, despite JC's warning. "I bet Justin told Chris that *I* was gonna be here, though. I bet."
"You don't know that," JC sighed. "Maybe he did, I dunno, but...would you have come, if you'd known he was gonna be here? I bet not, and J really wanted you to come. He's been whining about not seeing you enough, you know he loves you." He peered into Joey's cup and gave him a little, reproving frown. "Just *try* to relax. Maybe it'll be okay."
"I'm relaxing just fine," said Joey, sighing heavily. "Especially with the help of my good friend vodka. I'm just... I don't know if I'm ready yet, JC. Do you think I'm ready? Do you think we can face each other and not say something nasty that would entirely screw up the last month and some of being-apartness?"
"I think you should try," JC said gently. "I think it'll be okay if you both try. And maybe this is good, you know, to see each other someplace with all your friends around. If it's not working, you can just walk away and there will plenty of other people around to talk to." He slid an arm around Joey's waist and rested his head on Joey's shoulder.
"If I start yelling or something, you have to drag me away before I embarrass myself," said Joey, though if he was yelling and being dragged away, he was probably past the point of embarrassment. "Okay. I'll... okay. Soon. Is AJ getting on okay, do you know? I hope he doesn't feel like I abandoned him or something."
"Nah." JC stood on his tiptoes and peered towards another corner. "He's still talking to Justin. Hope he brushed his teeth before he came here, they're standing AWFULLY close together." He grinned a little at Joey. "Justin's in full flirt mode. That boy's almost glowing, I think he's enamoured of all the tattoos."
Joey glanced over, and smiled for the first time in a while. "I told AJ not to worry about it," he said, searching for the vodka to make himself another drink. "That Justin's just like that, and promised that Justin wouldn't do anything he didn't want."
"Well, he sure doesn't look like he doesn't want much," JC said in his rambling way. "That's a pretty come-hither look right there, he sure knows how to use those big brown eyes, and he looks mighty comfortable." He was still looking past Joey's shoulder, and his eyes went suddenly wide. "Oh. Oh. Um. Hi. Hello, Chris, how are you doing?"
"Okay." That clear high voice, slower and softer than Joey was used to. "Hi, JC. Joey."
Joey almost didn't turn, but JC gave him a discreet shove and, really, he didn't have much choice. "Hi Chris," he said, keeping his voice as neutral as he could. Which wasn't very. "Drink?"
"I've got one," Chris said, lifting it in illustration. He was looking at Joey seriously, his eyes almost hungry as they swept over him, and he sounded almost tentative. Which was just not normal for Chris. "How are you, Joey? How've you been. I, ah. I met your new roommate." His mouth twisted into something that was almost a smile, and Joey could almost feel the tension coming off him. JC looked like he was holding his breath.
"Yeah, I figured Justin would introduce him to all his friends," said Joey, and saw JC wince out of the corner of his eye. "I've been fine. How are you?"
"I've been all right," Chris said, with a little shrug. "It's, well, it's good to see you though. I've missed you." He slid a quick glance at JC, then his eyes came right back to Joey. "Classes going okay? Stuff like that?"
"Finished mid-terms yesterday," said Joey, grateful he'd taken the time to pour another drink, if only to have something to do with his hands. "I think I did okay. Been a bit distracted but, you know, I think I pulled it off." He looked over at JC and added, softly. "It's okay."
JC rolled his eyes, but looked a little relieved.
Chris cocked his head, a gesture so familiar it hurt, and smiled at Joey. "It's okay," he repeated. "I promise not to go all drama queen here. There was enough yelling..." he trailed off, and his face tightened with regret. "Anyway, I just wanted to say hello, see how you're doing. Let you know I miss you."
"Yeah," said Joey, looking down for a moment, and that was the only agreement he was going to give him on that point. "It's been... different. But AJ's working out okay, even if he is a straight boy." He chuckled and tried to keep things as light as they could possibly be. "I thought it was tough enough having one of them as my best friend, but now I get to deal with two."
"But," Chris said, looking puzzled, "straight boy? AJ's the one with all the tattoos, right?" He glanced at JC, who nodded confirmation. "But I thought I saw him making out with Justin in the hall, just now. Wasn't that him?" He looked genuinely confused. "Eep." JC clapped both hands over his mouth, eyes looking even bigger and more shocked over them.
"What?" Joey laughed, confused. "No, it can't be, AJ's--" He looked back over his shoulder and... damn. "Oh. Well. I guess I'm contagious, then. Who knew?" And what the hell *else* could he say to that?
"I don't think 'gay' is contagious," Chris said, also grinning a little, "but if anyone could convince someone to give the other side a try, you could." There was a beat of complete, awkward silence after that, until Chris shook it off with a shrug. "I'm gonna go...talk to someone over there. It's been good seeing you." His hand made an aborted reach for Joey's arm, and he spun on one heel and walked away.
"Chris," JC called softly, but Chris's shoulders just hunched a little, up around his ears, and he melted into the crowd.
Joey let out a sigh and closed his eyes and rested his weight against the counter. "Is it just me?" he said, "Or did this whole thing just get really complicated?"
"No, no," JC was shaking his head, eyes scrunched shut in denial. "Not complicated. I don't think. Here, have another drink." He pressed the vodka into Joey's hand, after giving himself a generous portion. "Why is AJ kissing Justin, is what I want to know. And, and that went pretty okay, with Chris, right? I told you he missed you and wanted to be friends again."
"Yeah, I guess," said Joey, taking the drink. "I don't know what's going on, JC. My ex-boyfriend -- who was the one to leave *me* -- decides he wants to spend time with me, and my straight roommate is making out with Justin. Which, okay, it's Justin so that makes it make a bit more sense, but still."
"Joe," JC said gently. "The thing that you and Chris did best, out of all of it, was be best friends. You guys were good boyfriends, too, till the end there, but you were amazing friends, and of course Chris wants to spend time with you. He *loves* you, man, even if it's not like it used to be." He took a huge swallow of his drink, just as Justin's distinctive cackle of a laugh rose over the crowd noise and he burst into view, almost dancing with glee.
"I think," said Joey, lifting an eyebrow in JC's direction, "I'm going to let you field this one. Because my head is spinning right now and somehow I'm not sure I want to know." Well, but of course he wanted to know, in spite of everything.
JC rolled his eyes yet again--Joey was surprised he hadn't given himself a headache yet--but turned and intercepted Justin.
"Joey," Justin said breathlessly, grinning so wide it looked like his head would split, "your roommate is a WICKED good kisser! And he totally started it, so don't make that face at me, yo, he was into it, he's talking to some guy now but damn. Damn! He's just fine!"
Joey just stared at him. "Justin, god, he was *straight* before you got your hands on him! What did you *do*?" His eyes searched the room for AJ, but he didn't spot him this time. "Or at least, okay, he seemed *mostly* straight..."
"Dude." Justin went from ebullient to injured innocence in the blink of an eye. "I didn't do anything bad! I was just, you know, talking to him, and things, and okay we were standing pretty close but he's *cute*. And next thing you know he just kinda leaned over and kissed me, and what was I s'posed to do, shove him off? Hell NO."
"What about after?" JC asked curiously. "Did he freak out at all?"
"Nah," Justin grinned again. "He just kinda laughed and shook his head and said 'Jesus' and went off to talk to somebody else."
Joey found himself grinning and shaking his own head. "Well, he obviously knows what he wants," he said finally, and was again glad for his drink. "I guess he'll, uh, probably tell me about it later. Or something. Well." His night certainly wasn't getting *less* complicated.
"I'm sure he will," JC nodded, and he was grinning too, now. "How could he not? Who else is he gonna talk to about it, after all?"
"Dude," Justin said, turning serious. "I saw you talking to Chris." He edged closer to Joey and draped an arm out over his shoulder, shamelessly stealing his drink and taking a big swallow. "How was that? I didn't hear yelling. Was it okay?"
"Oh yeah," said Joey, rearranging his expression into a glare again. "I almost forgot, I'm mad at you. For not giving me fair warning that he was going to be here. Was the yelling supposed to be part of the entertainment, or something?"
"No!" That was genuine shock in Justin's voice, not one of his games, Joey was sure. "No, no! I don't want you yelling, I want you to...to talk again, and stuff." He looked guiltily at the floor. "And I knew you probably wouldn't come if you knew he was coming, and stuff, and you can go if you really mind, but...wasn't it at least kind of good to see him again?" He looked up, clearly eager for a positive answer.
Joey sighed again. "It was fine, Justin. Obviously, there was no yelling. But did you have to spring this on me right after finals? I was all ready to wind down, not get all worked up again. It would have been kinda nice to be able to pick my own time to see him again..." Except he probably wouldn't have, and Justin knew it. Everyone probably knew it.
Justin, with great tact for him, refrained from pointing that out, and just shrugged a little defensively. "Well, it went okay," he insisted, "and now you did it, you talked to him and nobody died and the next time will be even easier. You can wind down even better now, 'cause there's one less thing hanging over you."
"Justin!" Someone shouted from the kitchen. "Keg's empty!"
"Shit." He looked at them both apologetically. "Gotta go!" He dashed off without another word.
"I hate it when he's right," said Joey, giving JC a chagrined look. "It probably will be easier next time. And this evening is still very, very weird, but Justin kissing AJ might've been a little bit hot. Just a little."
JC grinned at him. "Yeah? Yeah, I can see that, they're both amazingly attractive people. I guess AJ likes tall guys, huh? Like he likes tall chicks. He told me Sarah was like five inches taller than him." He patted Joey's arm and kept grinning. "Maybe they'll do it again and you can watch."
"If they do it again," said Joey, "I'm going to tell them to get a room. Because I can't imagine that doing *that* again won't lead to something else. And I'm not sure it's so much a taller guys thing as it is most guys are just taller than him. Can't be helped. Won't argue about the girl thing, though."
"He is kind of short," JC agreed. "It's nice he doesn't have some big issue about it, though. And nice that he...hey!" His eyes lit up, and he thwacked Joey's arm. "I *told* you he wasn't all the way straight! Now he's kissing Justin, see? And, okay, that doesn't make him not-straight, but it certainly indicates he's got some leanings, huh? Oh man. NOW what are you gonna do when he struts around the house in those little undies?"
"Same thing I always did," said Joey. "Ogle his ass for a moment and not pursue it any further. He's still my roommate, JC, and one little kiss from Justin doesn't mean anything more than that he was curious. Which he already told me anyway, and it's *Justin*. Who *hasn't* kissed Justin?"
"Nobody we know," JC agreed. "And wait, he TOLD you he was curious? Hey, AJ," he said, not giving Joey a chance to answer, "I hear you've been off kissing Justin."
AJ flushed and shook his head wryly from where he'd popped up at Joey's side. "Do you know, you're the second person who's said that to me?" He cocked a hip against the table, far from the bottles of alcohol, and smiled at them both. "It was sure interesting, though."
"Was pretty interesting from here, too," said Joey, giving him a smile that he hoped didn't come off as anything more than friendly. "Justin's a hell of a kisser. He says you are, too. And coming from Justin, that's a real compliment."
"He wasn't half bad himself," AJ admitted, still just a little red across the cheekbones. "Er, different than I expected. But enough about me and my kissing. Were you talking to your ex just a while ago?" He looked at Joey intently. "I met him earlier, I tried to be polite. You doing all right?"
"Oh," said Joey, blinking at AJ, for a moment surprised he'd thought to ask. "Yeah, it was... not bad, I guess, all things considered. Confusing. But then, tonight seems to be the night for confusing things, after all."
AJ flushed again, and Joey realized that might have come out a little more pointed than he'd realized. "Yeah, well," he shrugged. "He's a good looking guy, and...he's safe, you know? Anyway, your Chris guy seemed real interested to meet me, he seemed pretty nice. I'm glad it didn't totally suck, seeing him here."
"No, it didn't totally suck," Joey assured him. "It was just weird. I didn't know what to say and he was looking at me like... like we never broke up, or something. Like he never left me. It was kind of uncomfortable. Well... I'll probably obsess over it later. For now I'm just..." He glanced guiltily at his drink, and tried to emember how many he'd had. "Trying to enjoy the party."
"At least no one threw shit or started screaming," AJ said comfortingly. "That's always embarrassing in public, man. And yeah, he was asking a lot about you, wanted to know how you were doing, an' all that. I didn't say much, 'cause that's your deal, not mine, and I didn't want to say anything out of line." He waved a hand at Joey's drink. "Go ahead, don't stop on my account. I don't care, AND I can drive us home if you get plastered."
"Not like I had a car to bring anyway," said Joey, giving him a grateful smile. "I hate to admit to drowning my sorrows, but... okay, yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. You may have to listen to ramblings about Chris later. Fair warning. In return, I'm happy to listen to any ramblings you might have."
"I was expecting that," AJ admitted, looking relaxed. "I mean, about Chris, with the rambling. And I've gotta process that whole Justin thing, that's a little...whoa. But it won't be a problem, either way."
"So you're having fun, though, then?" said Joey, relaxing a little more himself, seeing AJ be so casual. "I mean, aside from the Justin thing -- which I'm sure was fun, too. You're having a good time with everyone?"
"Everyone's very cool," AJ nodded, grabbing selzer and lime. "Justin's college friends are just a trip. I do kind of want to get out of here before people get too ripshit, though, just 'cause it brings back some not-so-great memories. Is that cool?"
"Believe me, I'm not going to argue about leaving a little early," said Joey, eyes grazing the room again in case Chris was close. "Despite the fact that talking to Chris was okay, I don't want to run into him again after we've both had a few."
"I can see that," AJ said judiciously, and JC turned from where he'd been making eyes at a pretty young thing.
"That's probably a good idea," he agreed, "'cause right now you're on better terms than I've seen you in ages, and you can, like, build on this and make it even better, maybe even someday be friends again. You know? But not if you both get drunk and say things. 'Cause you know Chris's mouth."
"Hm," said Joey non-committally, and remembered all kinds of things about Chris's mouth. "I know it would be easier on everyone if we were friends again. I guess that's what happens when you share a huge circle of friends. Just tell me when you're ready to go AJ, and I'll be right on your heels."
"I'd like to see Justin again before we head out," AJ admitted, biting his lip to stop a little smile. "It's just not classy to kiss and run, after all. Can you hang out a little longer?"
"Hee." JC was clearly finding the whole thing very funny, since he snickered and nodded. "I'll hang out with Joey, man. Run interference if it's needed!"
"I can hang for a while," Joey assured him. "I'm not trying to hurry you out of here. Stay as long as you like, just find me before you leave." He made a little shooing motion, so that AJ would go find Justin and kiss him again and... Joey didn't even know what else.
"Right-o," AJ nodded, taking his selzer and lime and heading off into the crowd. "I'll be back soon, guys, no worries. I gotta go find our host with the most."
"Host with the most," JC rolled his eyes and snickered again, taking a big gulp of his own drink and then making a face. "Whoa, that's strong!"
"Don't blame me," said Joey. "You're the one who poured. Weren't you? I'd be happy to finish it for you, though. I'd like to be suitably pickled when and if the ex comes by again. It helps the nerves."
"I poured, but I forgot to stir," JC said. "And I thought you *weren't* gonna get too pickled, just in case he does come by again. Remember? Mouth? Yelling? Wanting to be on good terms?" He gestured, almost slopping his drink out of its plastic cup.
"It's definitely a double-edged sword kind of situation," said Joey agreeably. "Is that the right analogy? Oh well, it sounds good, and you get it, and that's all that matters. It would probably just be best if I *didn't* run into him again, no matter what the circumstances."
"Which means it's the one thing that's bound to happen," JC predicted direly. "Or, well, we could go hide. I bet you could get that cute little blond boy to play 'seven minutes in heaven' with you, you remember the one, Justin's classmate? He was pretty. I bet Justin's got enough closet space to hold both of you, anyway."
Joey just shook his head, and felt mildly spinny as he did. "Probably not a good idea tonight," he had to admit, though the prospect was appealing. "Probably I should just lay low and stick by your side, so you can mostly keep me out of trouble, until AJ and Justin are finished and it's time to go. AJ and Justin. Weird."
"That IS weird, even though I always thought he was a little bendy like that," JC nodded. "Thinking it and then finding out he's sucking face with Justin are two different things. And he's taking it awful calmly if it's his first...whatever. I guess he knows Howie, though, so it's not like it's all new and scary and freakish or nothing."
"Plus he does live with me," Joey pointed out. "And I'm not exactly closeted. I don't know. It's really weird. Do you think Justin is his type?"
JC shrugged. "I think Justin's safe," he said, which wasn't really an answer. "He's a big 'ol player, so it's not like he'd get all hurt and dramatic if AJ decided he didn't like it, but he's pretty enough that kissing him is still kind of an attractive idea. Even for me, and I'm much more straight than AJ is."
"That's not what I meant..." murmured Joey, but he didn't push the issue because he wasn't sure he really wanted to be asking in the first place. "And yeah, everyone has kissed Justin, he's sort of... an exception, to all rules."
"Justin's his own set of rules," JC laughed, finishing the rest of his drink in a big gulp and swaying a little where he stood. "Oh my goodness," he said, sounding a little dizzy. "Maybe I should've had dinner."
"Jace, you are such a flaky bastard," laughed Joey. "Yes, dinner is generally a pretty good idea. Are you staying here? Because there's no way I'm letting you drive, you know that."
JC blinked at him, big-eyed. "AJ said he'd drive," he pointed out. "He's great, it's like having a designated driver alla time. So y'all can drop me, or take me home and let me sleep on your couch, or whatever, because I don't want to sleep here. Last time I slept over at one of Justin's parties I woke up with some guy's hand down my pants. He apologized and all, but still."
Joey blinked at him a couple times. "You never told me *that*," he said, and tried not to laugh because JC clearly hadn't enjoyed it. "Whatever you want, you know the couch is yours, 'specially since Nick isn't on it anymore."
"Couch," JC nodded. "I like your couch. It's like home, sort of, in that way where I sleep on it all the time." He looked around the room. "Did Justin get food? We should go find food, can we? I thought I saw chips."
"Justin did not get food," said Joey firmly. "Brian, however, got food. And yes, there is lots. Or at least there was when I got here, and I don't think anything's been passed around yet that'll give people the munchies."
"Where is it?" JC peered around, like he could see the food. "We've been standing by the drinks table too long, it's lost now. Let's go look for it." He tugged Joey's arm in a random direction, and started walking. They passed people dancing, people doing shots, other people dancing, and a few couples making out.
"Everywhere," said Joey, snagging half a bowl of pretzels off an end table. "Brian is the consummate host, even if Justin has little to offer other than his magnificent presence. That apparently can even attract the hot straight boys."
"He's been doing that for years," JC said, with surprising practicality considering he was still swaying a little where he stood. "I think I don't want pretzels. I want something with dip, something cheesy. Are there nachos or something? Brian's a really good host, there's gotta be cheese."
"You want *cheese*?" repeated Joey, stopping to stare at him for a moment. "You flaky, *picky* bastard." But there would be, somewhere. Because Brian was just like that. "Maybe in the other room."
"Cheese is good!" JC protested, already heading for the door. "An' I'm not picky, cheese is good for drunk people. I think it soaks up the alcohol or some-WHOA." He spun without warning in the doorway, and started tugging Joey away. "Let's go this way instead. I bet there's cheese over here."
"What, what?" said Joey, tugging him back again. "What did you see? I want to know. Tell me and I'll find you some cheese."
"No," JC said firmly, digging in his heels and refusing to budge, still pulling Joey steadily away from the door. Joey thought it probably looked like they were doing some crazy dance. "You don't want to know at all, and anyway the cheese is definitely this way. Over here. Not in that room."
"JC," said Joey firmly, and wouldn't allow *him*self to be budged one more inch. And when it came down to it, he was bigger and stronger, even though he rarely flaunted the fact. "I want to know."
"No," JC pleaded. "Joey. It's just, Chris is in there, okay? We're avoiding him, right? So you don't want to go in there. I bet he's been drinking, and nobody wants a rumble." JC looked a little more flustered than he would have been by Chris's mere presence, though, even as he kept tugging ineffectually at Joey's arm.
"Who's he with?" Joey asked, and he could *hear* his voice flattening out as he asked it. "I have a right to know, JC. Just tell me and I won't go busting in there on him."
"It's nobody," JC said, his voice small and miserable. "Nobody I know, anyway. They're just, it's not...yeah. Come on, Joey." He tugged again, more gently. "You don't wanna see. Just like he wouldn't have wanted to see you with Howie."
Joey finally just shrugged, and let himself be led away. Better someone he didn't know than someone he did, at least. If JC was being honest about that.
"It's fine, you know," he said finally. "I know he hasn't been celibate. I'm sure he hopped in the sack with someone a lot sooner than I did, even."
"Maybe, maybe," JC said placatingly, "you never know. And even though it's fine, you're broken up and all, it's still not something you want to see, you know. You can KNOW it and that's still different from seeing it. Now let's go find me some cheese, 'cause I'm still hungry."
"Fine," said Joey, shrugging again. "Let's just go, JC, and find you some cheese. And then maybe AJ will want to go and I can get out of this nightmare of a party."
"Oh, Joey," JC said, sighing. "Come on, let's go eat and dance a little, and try to make this not a nightmare, okay? It'll be okay. Just think of happy things, like you're done with midterms, and tomorrow you get to sleep all you want, and that boy was totally giving you the eye." He offered Joey a cracker, topped with the cheese he'd found on the table. "Eat this, it'll help."
"I'm not sure that a hunk of cheese is going to make up for the fact that the love of my life is in the next room making out with some random guy," said Joey. "Hell, it won't even make up for the fact that my roommate is making out with Justin."
"He was not the love of your life," JC said scoldingly. "Well, he was maybe one of them but you'll have more, lots more loves. You have too much love to give to be all negative like that. And eat the cheese, it'll make you feel better. Food always does."
"It's *cheese*," said Joey, staring at it disdainfully. "Its healing properties are limited. And JC... he was. Okay? Whether he is or not anymore. And it's just been a really miserable night and I want to go home."
"It's very good cheese," JC tempted, pushing it towards his mouth. "Try. You'll feel better. And anyway...'love of your life' implies you're never gonna find another love as good, and that's just silly for you to say. You will, I know you will. Now eat this and lets go find AJ to drive us home, 'kay? Then it'll be tomorrow, and less miserable."
"Love of my life so far," Joey clarified, and that, at least, was the honest truth. The cheese was good, but certainly didn't blow away the raincloud forming over Joey's head. "If you don't want to go, we don't have to go. I'll go out back and smoke or something. Unless that's where you think AJ and Justin are making out."
JC rolled his eyes, thre up his hands, and only staggered a little bit right after. "No matter where you go in here, you're just gonna get more upset," he pointed out. "That's no fun, and it brings down the postitive energy vibey thing of the party, too, so we should go. I came and had my drinks and anyway I gotta work tomorrow, so let's go get AJ. 'Member, he wanted to leave before people got way trashed?"
"Okay, right, yeah," said Joey, finishing off the drink he had and leaving the plastic cup on the edge of a table. "And it's getting to be about that time, I think. So... the guy Chris was with... you're sure it wasn't someone I know?"
"It sure wasn't someone *I* knew," JC said firmly, before looking around. "Any ideas where AJ went? How 'bout you check upstairs, I'll look down here, and we meet up at the car? Sound good?"
"I can do that," said Joey, and he was pretty sure he could. The drinks were hitting him, but not as hard as they could have been. Not as hard as they might've if he hadn't run into that buzzkill a few minutes ago.
As JC disappeared into the crowd, Joey pulled himself up the stairs, past the few people in the hallway, and started looking into the rooms.
Most of them were occupied, one by three friends just having a quiet conversation, the next by a couple necking, and the third...he had to stop, because he'd found AJ, all right.
He was pressed against the wall of the room by Justin's body, head tossed back as Justin licked at his throat, rocking lightly with the motion of Justin's hips. They both still had all their clothes on, but one of AJ's hands was invisible under Justin's shirt, and Joey couldn't even begin to guess where Justin's hands were.
He thought about interrupting them -- fully *intended* to -- but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He almost couldn't bring himself to look away, either, but finally he did, pressing his back up against the hallway wall and waiting for some sign that they were done.
He wasn't sure if they were or not, when a few minutes later someone he didn't know stumbled past him and right into that room, but whether they were or they weren't, that was the kind of interruption that Joey needed.
Justin said something sharp, Joey could hear his voice, and then laughed. The intruder stumbled back out, but Joey could now hear Justin's voice, low and coaxing, and the hoot of AJ's laughter right afterwards, and figured he could go in.
Justin was standing with his arms crossed and a slightly ruffled expression on his face, while AJ was grinning and straightening his clothes.
"Hey," he said, just to be *sure* they knew he was there before they did anything else. "Sorry to interrupt, I was just looking for AJ. I can, uh, come back, though, if..." He left it open for them; if AJ wanted to stay, Joey would just suck it up and go find JC and then have a couple more drinks while he waited.
"Nah," AJ said easily, smiling at Joey and ignoring Justin's big-eyed pleading face. "I'm good to go, man."
"Oh, fine, just leave me hangin'," Justin said, clearly teasing now, and AJ rolled his eyes, let Justin kiss him quickly and thoroughly one more time, and walked towards Joey--slowly and gingerly, true.
"What a night, huh?" He waved at Justin, who waved back and blew kisses. "God."
"Seriously," agreed Joey, taking one last look over his shoulder at Justin, too. "Didn't mean to drag you away or anything there. You looked like you were having a good time..." It was a question without being a question, and another one Joey actually wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. Even though of *course* he wanted AJ to have a good time.
"It was sure interesting," AJ nodded, and licked his lips. "That guy...damn. He's zero to sixty in no time flat. But you weren't dragging me away, I was getting ready to split anyway, it's about that time, if I wasn't gonna stay the night. Which I wasn't."
"Okay," said Joey, readily accepting that. "It's about time I got out of here, too, and JC's ready to go. He's claimed our couch for the night. Maybe we should start charging him rent."
AJ snickered at that, and nodded. "Well, if you do, we should go collect from Nick, too. He was there longer, at least all in a row. And man, it's gotta be tough on JC, living with his folks and all, and I don't mind if he stays if you don't." He was peeking at Joey every few steps, like he was expecting some kind of third degree.
"If you put together all the time's JC's stayed on that couch, Nick's visit doesn't even put a dent it it," Joey assured him. He hadn't been planning on bringing anything up until they were out of the party, and maybe even away from JC, but... "Uh. Do you want to talk about it?"
AJ cocked his head, like he was thinking about it, then gave it a quick shake. "Not just yet," he said quietly, following Joey through the party and towards the car. "I gotta think some first, before I talk about it."
Joey just nodded, because it had been a little bit weird to ask in the first place, and kept AJ in sight at the same time as he kept an eye out for JC. "Well, you know where to find me," he said finally, and grinned at him.
"I know where you live," AJ agreed, grinning back in what looked like relief. "Now where's the spaz? Do we have to go pry him off a girl, or is he dancing? Where should we start the search?"
"We're supposed to meet at the car," said Joey, looking right over AJ's head just about. "But I don't know if he's there yet, or if he's still looking for you. Do you see him?"
"Nope." AJ shoved his hands down deep into his pockets and headed for the door. "I can't see anyway, all you tall motherfuckers all over the place. He'll probably make it to the car, and it'll be easier than trying to find him in that." He tipped his head towards the mass of dancing people.
"Yeah, and if I'm out by the car, less chance of... well. Anyway." Joey grabbed hold of AJ's sleeve so he wouldn't lose him. "And it'll be quieter out there, too."
"Less chance of what?" AJ asked curiously, padding easily along through the crowd, easily avoiding the occasional stagger of someone who'd had a little too much to drink. When they made it out the door the sudden decrease in noise almost made Joey's ears hum, and he noticed AJ shaking his head in what looked like relief, as well. "MUCH quieter," he agreed, his own voice a lot softer.
Joey nodded and looked around for the car for a moment before remembering where they'd parked. "Less chance of running into my ex-boyfriend and the guy he's making out with," he admitted finally. "Because as Jace reminded me, I have no room at all to be upset about that. This *is* much better. It's a nice night."
"Oh, ouch," AJ said, shaking his head. "That's the worst part about not moving outta town after a breakup, really. And man, you can be upset, it just ain't gonna change much." He followed Joey to the car and leaned on it, shaking a cigarrette out of his back and lighting it. "It's nice," he agreed, looking around. "Nice neighborhood, too."
"Yeah, they got themselves a real good place here. Perfect for getting together -- which Justin does like to do." He let that hang for a moment, in case AJ wanted to pick up the Justin thread. "Having almost entirely mutual friends is a bitch sometimes, man."
"It really is," AJ agreed fervently. "Kinda drives you to branch out a little, and it's confusing as shit." He sighed, took a long drag off his cigarrette, and looked at the sky. "I was a little worried that I was, you know. With Justin, because of the whole Sarah thing, kind of, but really, it was good all on its own. Which is its own kind of mindfuck."
"Well," said Joey, letting out a slow breath, composing his thoughts. "You said you were curious, before, before you ever did anything. So it wasn't just 'cause the opportunity presented itself. And you said that Sarah was over a while ago. Still, though... I know what kind of a mindfuck it can be."
"Yeah," AJ chuckled a little, flicking ash with a practiced move. "Well, at least I can be sure it wasn't just a drunken mistake, huh? I did it the first time in my sober right mind, and that's something." He sighed again. "I wasn't expecting to get that turned on, that fast, man."
"It's Justin," said Joey, chuckling a bit. "Which is not to belittle the whole experience at *all*, but... it's Justin. And... " He looked sideways at AJ for a moment. "I don't know what's going on in your head, and I don't know if this is something you're gonna be wanting from now on, but it's always seemed to me that the first time you give your body something it wants like that, it kinda just goes to town. So to speak."
"My body was throwing a *party*," AJ said dryly, nodding. "With fireworks and a band. It was pretty intense. Don't get me wrong, I love sex with women, always have, and I know some of this was probably just the thrill of something new, but damn." He glanced at Joey, almost smiling. "At least it answered my question about whether I could get turned on rubbin' up on someone without tits."
Joey chuckled again and nodded his head. "Well, you know *i'm* a big fan," he said. "And I mean... it *was* Justin. And sometimes Justin is..." He gave AJ another sidelong look. "The exception to the rule. You don't seem to be all panicky about the no-tits thing, which is cool, but... you know."
"I don't think Justin's the exception to my rule," AJ said slowly, like he was thinking it out as he spoke. "I think he might be the proof that my rule might be a little different than I thought it was, is all. It's not like he's the only guy around I've ever looked at." He shrugged. "Doesn't seem very useful, panicking. Maybe when I'm trying to sleep it'll hit."
"Or maybe not," said Joey, giving him a friendly little nudge with his shoulder. An understanding nudge. "Since it's not really something to panic about. Which is not to say that *I* didn't, a little, but I was just a kid and you seem to have your shit together."
"It's an illusion," AJ said airily, waving his cigarrette in the air in illustration. "Inside, I'm screaming. Or something. But I actually think that's cause I didn't get off, and the blue balls are gettin' me something fierce right now." His grin at Joey was mostly teeth.
"Oh, Christ," said Joey, his laugh getting a little stronger. "I *offered* to give you guys a little more time, you should've taken me up on it. Or at least made a pit stop on the way out here." But then he wouldn't have had that delicious little glimpse of it when he looked down.
"I only kissed a guy for the first time tonight," AJ complained. "I wasn't real comfortable getting off against his thigh. I ain't that kind of girl." He was still grinning, and took a last long drag before crushing the butt underneath his heel. "I'll survive, it's just a little distracting. Boy's got some talent, I'll say that." He shivered almost imperceptibly, like he was remembering.
"Yeah, he sure does," murmured Joey, nodding again. "So, I mean, I'm glad it was real good for you. And I'm glad it was someone like Justin, who just takes a real joy in doing it and would never screw with you. He's been interested since you guys met."
"Well, I am one sexy motherfucker," AJ agreed, without a hint of apology but with more than a hint of humor. "Can't blame him a bit. I don't know about anything more than that, though, what already happened. Maybe. We'll see. He might not screw with me, but that don't mean I wanna get naked and sticky with him."
Joey made a valiant, if ultimately unsuccessful, effort not to imagine AJ naked and sticky. "Nothing wrong with it either way," he said calmly a moment later, because calm and rational seemed to be the order of the day. "If you decide you want to get, uh, naked and sticky with a guy, there are plenty who'd be willing. But for your first... kiss, and whatever... Justin wasn't a bad choice."
"I'm pretty pleased with it," AJ agreed, and Joey couldn't tell if he was teasing or not. "As for willing, we'll see. But I'm like some kind of babe in the woods here, I don't know a single thing about gettin' with guys. You'll have to show me the ropes, man, let me know what the rules are so I don't make an ass outta myself. No pun intended." He arched his eyebrows at Joey, and reached for another cigarrette.
Joey just had to grin at him. "Well, I'll do my best," he said, as lightly as AJ had delivered the request. "I'm a little out of practice myself, but I'm not bad. You seem to have done pretty well for yourself already, though. Not even looking, really, and you managed to get with someone. That's a pretty good track record."
"Beginner's luck?" AJ suggested, but Joey could tell he was pleased with the praise. "You can be my Yoda. And I might not've been looking, but I can't say it hasn't been on my mind lately. Who knows, maybe Justin's got radar for that kind of thing? Either way, I got a feeling it'll get more complicated than this."
"Yeah," Joey had to agree with him. He knew all about complicated. "But who knows, maybe everything'll be all simple and you'll never have to worry about any of it. But whatever you need or want, you just ask. Cause I've been there, you know? I get it."
"I'll bring it to you, if anything comes up," AJ nodded, then reached down and adjusted himself in his jeans, not at all subtly. "Speaking of, where's JC? I gotta get home and do something about this, before I sprain something. And I know, it's my own damn fault, but still, what the hell is that boy doing in there?"
"Looking for you, probably," said Joey, staring toward the door, at least partly to avoid staring at AJ. "Or else he was distracted by something which, yes, is probably the likelier option. He'll be out here, though, just give him a couple more minutes. He's not *that* absent-minded. He'll check for us. He's also going to be insufferably smug about him being right and me being wrong."
"Yeah? What about?" AJ just lounged back against the car, leaning on his elbows, which, unfortunately for Joey's state of mind, pushed his hips forward almost blatantly.
It would be very, very wrong for him to offer to suck AJ off. Very wrong. "About you," he said, and he couldn't avoid looking at him now. "I kept saying you were straight, and he was convinced you were... well, just a little bit flexible. But that's just because, I mean, I always call people what they call themselves. It's a respect thing."
"I appreciate it, man," AJ said seriously, meeting his eyes. "I do. It's hard enough to figure this shit out in my own head, much less when people are speculating one way or the other. Not that I mind so much about JC...after all, he did turn out to be right." He leaned his head back, making his body one long arch, and blew smoke straight up into the air.
"Nice," Joey murmured, before realizing he'd said it out loud. But fuck, he wasn't superman, how was he supposed to resist admiring that? It was hard enough resisting *touching* it. "I mean... uh... what was I saying? I, uh, hope it's not too tough to work out in your head. And any time you want it out of your head, you know where to find me."
Joey couldn't believe he said *that* out loud either.
AJ lifted his head slowly, blinking twice before he met Joey's eyes, looking...startled. But then his lips curled a little, and his eyes went kind of big and slow and deep and warm, and his chin dropped a hair as his voice rumbled out all low and purring. "I'll remember to do that," he said quietly, "I sure will."
"Hey, guys!" JC waved from the doorway of the house, snapping AJ's head around, letting music and light stream out before he closed the door and bounced down the steps. "Sorry, there was a thing with the things, and then cheese. Glad Joey found you, AJ!"
Joey actually grunted in frustration and couldn't JC have waited just a few more minutes? Suddenly AJ wasn't the only one with that particular problem. "That's fine, Jace," he said finally. "We were fine, but it's high time to get home. Give AJ your keys, man."
"Justin's licking whipped cream off some boy's nipples," JC announced cheerfully. "It's too bad you're missing it, but it WAS getting kind of crowded in there, and hot, too." He waved a hand in front of his own flushed face, and handed AJ his keys.
"Whipped cream?" Joey could hear AJ muttering as he stubbed out his smoke again and started around the car to the drivers' side. "Sweet Jesus. I have GOT to get home."
"Tell me about it," said Joey as he crawled in. "I know I don't have to tell you to go as fast as you can without killing us." He still couldn't keep his eyes off AJ, especially now that AJ couldn't just look back. "Was it anyone I know, Jace?"
"I don't know," JC mused, sliding into the back seat as AJ started the car and pulled out. "Maybe. I think his name is Christian? Or something like that, hot guy, though, for sure." AJ was indeed edging the speed limit as they headed for home, and he was shifting against his seat, though he kept his eyes firmly on the road. "They were trying to get him to take his pants off so Justin could lick whipped cream off other places when I decided it was getting a little too gay in there for a straight boy like me, so I left."
"Well, it was a gay kind of party," said Joey, licking his lips, looking at the line of AJ's arm. "Justin would do it, too, you'd better believe he would. I think I know the guy you're talking about, is he the blond? Anyway. I'm ready to be home right about now. I got things to... take care of."
"He's blond," JC confirmed, almost drowning out AJ's mutter of 'tell me about it.' "And I don't mind the gay, Joey, jeez, but I try not to be there for the actual sex. Mostly. Depending." He sighed, and Joey caught the flicker of AJ's eyes as he glanced right at Joey for a split second, before looking back at the road.
"Yeah, but it was Justin," said Joey, leaning back in his seat and wishing his pants weren't quite so tight. He just needed to think of unsexy things. Like Chris making out with that other guy. "You can watch some straight porn back at our place to make up for it anyway."
"Okay," JC agreed cheerfully, and AJ snorted a little laugh, turning the wheel to take the corner at speed. "At least the porn should drown out the sounds of you two jerking off. I dunno how you're walking around packing that thing, AJ, jeez. Did you get some pretty little thing to dance up on you? We could've waited, you know."
"Ah." AJ was definitely laughing now. "Pretty thing, yeah, little, not so much."
"I'll give you one guess who I found him with," said Joey dryly. "And before you call me a big jerk, I *offered* to give them more time, but AJ figured it was about time to take off. Thank god, really, because it was only a matter of time before I ran into you-know-who again. But then, it probably would've been worse if I *hadn't* run into him, because then I'd know what he was off doing..."
"Really?" JC's head suddenly popped up between the front seats, and he was staring at AJ. "You were really with Justin? For real?"
"Yeah," AJ said easily, tipping a shoulder in a sort-of shrug as he turned onto their street. "It just kind of happened."
"Oh my god!" JC slapped Joey's shoulder lightly. "I told you so!"
Joey managed to catch AJ's eyes for a moment, and rolled his. AJ gave him a slight, understanding smile in return before his eyes moved back to the road. "Yes, yes, you told me so," said Joey agreeably. "You win. What were we betting for again?"
"Were we actually betting?" JC sounded puzzled. "I don't remember that." JC let his head fall against Joey's shoulder, smelling like rum and coke and hair products. "I am very drunk, dude. I think I can skip the porn and go to bed."
AJ chuckled again, shaking his head, and turned into their little parking lot, sliding the car in expertly between the painter's truck and someone's beat-up old Beetle. "Home again home again," he sing-songed.
"I am *not* carrying you upstairs," said Joey firmly. "Just so we're clear on that." The time he'd spend outside talking to AJ had cleared his own head pretty well, and hearing about Chris and that guy had sobered him up right quick, too. "I may, however, lend you my shoulder, as long as AJ gets the doors."
"I don't need you to *carry* me," JC said indignantly. "I can walk just fine all on my own, I'm still talking normal, right? Right?" He appealed to AJ, who nodded, grinning.
"Sure are. Guess that means we can leave him to do it himself, Joe," and he hopped out of the car and headed for the door. "C'mon now, that couch is callin' my name."
"No, not on the couch, you'll get it sticky and I have to *sleep* on there!" said JC frantically, then calmed down and turned to Joey sheepishly. "Oh, that wasn't what he meant, was it."
Joey snickered, and offered JC his arm when he stumbled over the curb. "I promise you won't have to sleep on a sticky couch," was all he said to him as they followed AJ up.
AJ just rolled his eyes at them and held the door open for them, locking it behind them. "I've got a LITTLE class," he said, following their slow progress up the stairs. "The couch is for collapsing on after and watching bad late night tv. Didn't you know?"
"Ohhhhh," said JC, nodding his head so enthusiastically he looked dizzy. "That's much better, then. Joey, stop *pushing*, I'm going as fast as I can!"
"Sorry, sorry," said Joey, trying to keep to JC's pace. "I'm just kind of... okay, we'll get there soon enough."
AJ's chuckle was low and dark and knowing and sent shivers up Joey's spine, but then they were at the apartment door and Joey was herding JC through it.
"I'm gonna sleep now," JC announced, yawning. "You all can do what you want."
"Hm," AJ said, glancing around, shedding his jacket. "Why don't you crash in my bed, JC? That way the late night tv won't bother you. I'm not quite ready for bed yet, myself."
"Or you can take mine," said Joey, but JC had already let go of him and was making a beeline for AJ's door, ignoring them. Or was possibly going to steal the washroom first. "Or... not." He threw his jacket over the back of a chair and headed for the fridge to get himself some caffeine. He could wait a few more minutes to... take care of things. Long enough to find out what AJ was going to do.
AJ just stood still for a moment, resting one hand on the back of the couch, staring after JC with a distracted expression on his face. Then he glanced at Joey, and sighed a little. "Man, I don't wanna be rude, but god." He bent a little at the waist, and shrugged. "I gotta do something."
"Yeah, I hear that," said Joey, biting his lip again to stop himself from offering to help. But what he couldn't do was keep his eyes off AJ, even for a moment, no matter how obvious he was being.
AJ's eyes met his for a brief moment, before they flickered away, and was that a flush? Hard to tell, in the dim light of the room. "Yeah," he said, and cleared his throat. "So, did you happen to see if JC took my room or the bathroom? We DID promise not to get the couch sticky..."
"I was in the kitchen," said Joey apologetically, making a point to move out of the kitchen and back closer to AJ again. "I figure probably the bathroom, the amount he had to drink, but it won't be long before he's stumbling into your room and I doubt he'll knock. Uh... take mine, if you want some privacy..."
AJ's eyes snapped to him again, startled. "I can't jerk off in your bed, man, that's just...it's just rude, or something. I mean, you should go ahead, I can wait." He huffed out a breath as he stuck his hands into his jeans pockets, drawing the denim tight across the rigid bulge there. "Maybe not too *long*," he muttered as an addition, "but I can wait."
"It's not rude if I offer," said Joey, biting his lip, watching him even harder now. "And since I think I remember we already kinda set groundrules about me helping in any other way... it's, uh, the least I can do."
AJ tipped a shoulder. "I musta missed the ground rules," he mused, "but, you know. I got a really great thing, here, with this apartment, and you, and all. I don't wanna make it weird, or anything, and, you know." He was breathing faster, though, and not looking at Joey, and his hands were still in his pockets. "And I got no blood in my brain!" he almost wailed.
"They were pretty fucking stupid ground rules," Joey admitted, shifting his weight, trying not to look as eager as he felt, trying not to jump to conclusions that AJ was offering anything. "And we made 'em when we were still thinking you were straight. I would be... pretty damn happy to just forget we ever thought of 'em."
AJ went silent again, his lower lip between his teeth, almost rigid with tension, before something clearly snapped. "Fuck," he said clearly, almost resigned, and then he was taking two long steps into Joey's personal space and stopping, obviously unsure about what to do next. "Fuck the rules," he said, sheer bravado and balls, and pressed his body against Joey's.
Joey certainly had no intention of discouraging him, and grabbed a handful of AJ's ass, holding him right there while he leaned in and kissed him thoroughly. AJ knew exactly where Joey was coming from; there would be no surprises, except maybe the good kind.
"My room," Joey said breathlessly when they finally parted. "Right now."
AJ licked his lips, looking a little dazed; Joey had been too busy making sure AJ knew about his enthusiasm to really taste or play or have fun, but he reassured himself that he'd have time later. Right then he was occupied watching AJ's ridiculously long lashes drop down over his eyes as he nodded; feeling the fine tremor in AJ's hands on his arms; and taking steps when AJ started tugging him towards the bedroom.
It really was a stupid rule, and Joey was certain they weren't going to fuck up the roommate vibe by doing this; they were just going to make it better. And Joey would make it good for him, make sure AJ's first time with a guy made him want to have more. Preferably with Joey.
He closed the bedroom door behind them, and didn't worry about locking it this time, what with not having a party outside it to contend with. "It'll be good," he said out loud, quietly, an absolute promise, and reached for AJ's pants.
AJ chuckled with a thread of nervousness underneath, but the back of Joey's hand brushed over the unmistakeable sign of his arousal. "Oh," he said quietly, and pushed his hips forward just a little, reaching for Joey's fly as he did. "I can't promise I'll be good," he said, clearly still bluffing through this, "but I'll give it a damn good shot."
"Don't worry about it," said Joey, grinning at the double entendre. "It'll be good, trust me." He pushed AJ back towards the bed as he undid his pants and started pulling them down. At this point, foreplay would be torture for them both; Joey would just have to make up for it afterwards. "Just let me go down on you, okay?"
AJ blinked at him. "*O*-kay," he said, almost laughing. "Twist my arm, why don't you?" He slid backwards on the bed, lower legs still dangling down, and pushed his jeans down past his knees. No underwear, and he was bigger than Joey would have thought, hard and dark and he looked delicious, and AJ's belly muscles were quivering under that tattoo as he waited for Joey to do something.
Joey thought about just going for it, right there like that, but he took the extra few seconds to pull AJ's pants the rest of the way off and at least push his shirt up, if not take it off. "God, you look fantastic," he murmured before nudging AJ further back and crawling up onto the bed with him, and lowering his mouth over that waiting cock.
AJ made a rough painful sound and there were hands in his hair, not pulling or pushing but just there, and he could feel AJ's body jerking with every breath he took.
"Oh my fucking god," it came out in a whisper, and Joey could feel him harden even further against his tongue. "You've got, beard, hot mouth, oh my god, fuck, good..."
AJ didn't need any response other than Joey keeping on doing what he was doing, he knew, and so that's exactly what Joey did. God, he loved doing this, and AJ felt great and he kept tonguing and sucking and gripping AJ's thighs in both hands, and he knew this couldn't last long, not when AJ had been hard for so long. Joey would just enjoy it while he could.
"Hey hey hey," AJ babbled, voice suddenly becoming sharply urgent, "I-" and just like that, without any more warning, his back arched and his hips and thighs jerked under Joey, hard and uncontrollable if the grip of AJ's hand on his shoulder was any indication, and AJ was panting hard with every pulse. Joey smiled, and swallowed, and swallowed again, and AJ went completely boneless under him.
Joey waited a few moments, until AJ started to soften, then slipped his mouth off before the sensitivity got too intense. He kissed AJ's bare hip, then the tattoo on his stomach, and wondered if AJ would mind if he just rubbed himself off against the bed because he was *that* close, it wouldn't take but a moment.
AJ let out a breath it sounded like he'd been holding awhile with a 'whoosh,' and tugged gently on Joey's arm, urging him closer. "I dunno what the manners are here," he mumbled, still hazy-eyed and flushed, "but I got an idea..." his hand closed gently around Joey's cock, and gave it an experimental stroke.
Joey's breath hitched and he was nodding his head before he even really thought about it. "I gotta tell you, though," he breathed. "I'm gonna last all of maybe ten seconds, and it'll be messy." But then, messy was what this was all about, and he had tissues handy, and so he just closed his eyes and let AJ touch him and let himself go. It was a hell of a lot better than the bed.
"It's s'posed to be messy," AJ said, sounding distracted as he explored a little, his grip gradually becoming more confident as Joey reacted with encouraging sounds and wiggles. "This is nice," he murmured, still distracted, and Joey opened his eyes just far enough to see AJ's face, intent, staring at his cock, tongue peeking out a little between his lips in concentration.
Joey just kind of choked out a gasp as he imagined those lips, that tongue, on his cock, and then he was coming, pulsing in AJ's hand and clearly surprising him with the suddenness of it. "Oh Jesus," he whispered, and shut his eyes again as he rode it out.
"Whoa!" AJ sounded startled, but didn't remove his hand, and in fact stroked Joey one or two more tentative times before withdrawing a little and just watching. "Whoa," he said softer, and when Joey's eyes finally fluttered open, AJ was looking at his face, enthralled.
Joey was still a little dazed himself, but he managed to smile at him, and gesture weakly towards the tissues beside the bed. Not that he felt like he was in any hurry. "Good, yeah?" he said softly, still smiling, feeling more sated than he usually did after a handjob. But then, this was a bit more than just that.
"Yeah," AJ agreed softly, reaching for the tissues, then just sitting with them in his hand, like he wasn't sure what to do with them. "Um. Can I just..." He didn't meet Joey's eyes, but reached out hesitantly with a thumb, running it through the wetness on Joey's belly, before raising it to his mouth.
Joey stared at him, startled, then nodded his head a little. As though AJ *actually* needed permission to try that. As though AJ was even looking. Joey sighed softly and happily and wished there was something he could do that felt appropriate for the moment -- affectionate without being sappy, familiar while still acknowledging this was their first time.
And hopefully not the last.
Finally he just reached up and curled his hand comfortably around the back of AJ's neck, thumb gently and casually caressing the short, soft hair there.
AJ raised his eyes and smiled a little at that, though he seemed to feel just a touch of awkwardness as he took his thumb out of his mouth. "Baby steps," he explained ruefully. "I figure, before *too* long I should be able to give head. Thanks." He leaned into Joey's touch, then finally folded down against his body, not precisely cuddling, but touching all up and down him. "First time I've been naked with a guy, too," he mused. "There's a whole lot more hair, here."
"That's possibly just me," admitted Joey, letting AJ do what he was comfortable with. He was the one who needed to get used to this, after all; Joey was good with whatever. "I'm kind of a hairy bastard, when it comes down to it. But I've always kinda liked it. You doing good?"
"The body's feeling no pain," AJ admitted, "feeling pretty fucking great, actually, but my mind's kind of spinning. So much for taking it slow, huh?" He ran a careful hand up Joey's thigh, watching its progress with dark eyes. "It's different, but nice."
"I always thought it was real nice," agreed Joey calmly, exploring AJ's body a little with his fingers, too. "Not slow, though, no. It's kind of hard to be slow, when the body's all 'go, go, go!'. I'll still... I mean, even though we're *this*, now, the offer to talk to me about this stuff is still totally open. That hasn't changed."
"What is 'this'?" AJ asked, withdrawing a little. "I mean, it was strange enough feeling all hot and bothered about my roommate--my GUY roommate--and now we've actually, you know, gotten hands-on, is it gonna be even stranger?"
"No," said Joey firmly, not letting AJ withdraw, *too* far, letting him know Joey still wanted him there. "I mean, okay, it's gonna be a little bit strange at first, but not bad strange. We won't let it, things are too good. At, uh, some point, though, we should probably, well, talk about it a little. Just to kinda... you know? Figure out where we're at."
"Mm hmm," AJ agreed absently, still just sort of looking Joey over, slow and careful, like he hadn't ever seen a naked man before. Well, maybe he hadn't, at least not so close up, and every once in a while he'd reach out to touch, a brush of fingers on Joey's nipple or collarbone or the crease of his thigh. "Yeah, we can't let things get strange, that would suck. So I guess we just won't."
"We won't," said Joey again. "They don't have to be strange, they can be really good, when we get used to it. If you want to..." He sighed sofly and ran his fingers down AJ's arm. "I don't know what you want," he admitted finally. He didn't even know if AJ knew what he wanted. Joey had an idea what *he* wanted, though.
"That makes two of us," AJ snorted, now watching Joey touch *him*, and shivering just a little. "It's all a mess in my head, so...I guess I better just sleep on it." He slanted dark eyes to meet Joey's. "Things'll be clearer in the morning, probably, right? And since we won't let them be strange, it won't be a problem." He didn't move, though his body language was all uncertain.
Joey nodded his head slowly, watching him, touching him, trying to make him feel welcome. "I want to try something with you," he said finally, because something really did need to be said. "I just want us to be careful, because we're both in a place where we're getting our shit together over something that's happened before, and we need to be able to spend some time on that, too. So that's where I'm at." He gave AJ a warm smile. "Hopefully, that helps you sleep a little easier, knowing."
AJ's mouth quirked a little, and he nodded. "Well, that and the fact that I just got one of the best blowjobs of my life, that'll help too. You are some kinda something, Joey." He relaxed down onto the bed again, still touching Joey all up and down his side, and yawned, looking very young suddenly despite the tattoos and the hard edges of his face.
"That?" Joey teased him, trying to untangle the blankets from beneath them so they could settle in. "That was nothing. That was just cause we were both desperate to get down to business. Just wait till I do it for real, *then* I'll accept the compliment."
"It gets better? Hah!" AJ watched him tug at the blankets. "Should I...if I sleep here tonight, JC will...I should probably go sleep on the couch, huh?" He didn't move, though, waiting for Joey's answer.
"I'd like you to stay," said Joey, because he had to say *some*thing, even though the decision was both of theirs. "But I'll understand if you don't want to. Are you worried what JC will think?"
AJ tipped an uncomfortable shoulder. "No. Yeah. I don't know." He sighed. "I mean, it's not like he'll care, you know? But it's just...I haven't even had a chance to think about it, and having him all, you know how JC gets." He still didn't move, though, and after a moment, he curled against Joey, under the covers. "He drank a lot," he explained sleepily. "He probably won't wake up till noon."
"It's okay, I get it," said Joey quietly, pulling the covers up. "I'll get us up for breakfast, and *you* can choose when -- or if -- with JC. It's cool. I know how it is."
"Thanks," AJ mumbled sleepily, resting his forehead against Joey's arm. "Thanks, man. You're being so great about all this, it's pretty amazing. Can't be easy, what with you being all comfortable about it already, but thanks." He yawned again. "Night."
"Not everything that's worth it is easy," murmured Joey, settling himself in. "Night, AJ. See you in the morning."
* * *
The shift and roll of the mattress woke Joey, and by the time he opened his eyes, AJ was sitting with his legs over the edge, bare back to Joey, his head in his hands. He must have made some sound, because AJ turned and looked at him. No disgust, no shame, and Joey took a breath of relief, but AJ *did* look a little awkward and confused, and more than a little tense.
"Morning," he said quietly.
"Morning," said Joey, rubbing AJ's shoulders lightly and shifting onto his side, in prelude to actually getting up. "What time is it?"
"'Bout ten," AJ said, leaning into the touch just a little. "Pretty early, considering we didn't get home till after two." He leaned over the edge of the bed, fishing around for something, and pulled on the jeans Joey'd stripped off him so neatly the night before.
Joey nodded slightly, to himself more than to AJ. "If you want to steal the bathroom first, I can go start hunting around for breakfast," he offered, very calmly and naturally, and very deliberately so. "Any preferences?"
AJ blinked at him, then grinned. "You're givin' me the option of sitting around sticky while you shower, or getting clean and then having breakfast ready when I get done? That ain't hard at all. Though," he paused, considering, "if you're gonna be making breakfast, by all rights you should get first shower. It's only fair." He stood, and stretched. "Also, I take long showers. You first, man."
"You sure?" said Joey, finally pushing the covers aside and standing up, naked. Unaroused. Just casual. "Well, all right then, I usually shower pretty quick. And JC will probably wake up when he smells coffee and food, hungover or not, so it might be nice to get in there before *he* takes it over." On another day he might have offered to do it together, but not yet. Not with AJ looking like he really needed a bit of time.
AJ eyed him surreptitiously, but he didn't move away, and in fact, reached out and patted Joey's arm, tentatively. "I can make the coffee," he offered, "but you dont' want me getting anywhere near the stove. I'm sure, man, go ahead, you ARE faster than me."
"If you want some coffee, go ahead then," said Joey, shooting him a grin. "Otherwise you can just leave it for me when I get out. I'm won't be so desperate for caffeine once I'm out of the shower I can't take a few minutes to brew some up." He glanced AJ up and down, again casually, fondly, and gave him a smile. "Good morning," he repeated, and resisted the urge to kiss him. They were in a pretty precarious stage, and right now it needed to be AJ's choice.
AJ's grin widened to a smile, genuine and bright and almost surprised. "Morning," he answered, and made a little movement towards Joey that he arrested, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets in that familiar gesture and turning towards the door. "I think I'll make that coffee anyway," he said, "I dunno if I can wait. My brain just ain't waking up all on its own."
"All right," said Joey, just letting it go. "I'll see you in a few minutes then." He was acutely aware of AJ still being there, but he still turned to his dresser and hunted down a pair of clean sweat pants to wear after his shower, acting as normal and non-threatening as possible. AJ didn't look like he was going to bolt, but you just never knew.
When he turned around again, AJ was just averting his eyes from what looked like a long look at Joey's ass, and his face was a little red. But he met Joey's eyes easily, smiled, nodded, and slipped out through the bedroom door quietly.
Joey'd wiped himself down well enough the night before, but the hot water of the shower still eased his muscles and cleared his head nicely, and washed away the smell of liquor and sex that still clung.
It also gave him a few moments to reflect a little on what was going on. And, really, how little control he had over it. But he still meant what he said the night before, he realized, and was glad he'd said it. He wanted something to happen, but he didn't want it to happen so fast it spiralled out of control. It was still a very new thing for him, too, wanting someone who wasn't Chris. He wanted to feel it out and get his shit worked out before diving right in.
He stepped out of the shower refreshed and awake, and dried himself off roughly before slipping into the sweatpants and heading out for the kitchen.
AJ was sitting on the counter, bare feet dangling as his buried his face in a large mug of coffee. His bare heels banged lightly on the cupboard as he looked up at Joey, smiling.
"Your hair, man, it's in crazy spikes. Is there hot water left?"
"There's always hot water left," said Joey, grinning as he combed his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. "Is there *coffee* left?"
"Yep. I made a big pot," AJ said with some pride. "I figured between you and me and JC, we'd need at least that much. There's milk and sugar out, too." He swung his feet one last time, then dropped down gracefully from the counter. "I'm gonna go grab that hot water before JC wakes up." He made no effort to give Joey a lot of space in the doorway, and brushed right by him with a tiny smile.
Joey looked back over his shoulder and smiled in return, watching AJ make his way down the hall until he disappeared. All things considered, things were going quite well.
The fridge was stocked, thankfully, enough to make bacon and eggs at least. Which was what JC would want as a hangover remedy, as well as any other time Joey was around to make him breakfast. And which was also sure to wake him up. At least it wasn't *too* obscenely early, because Joey wasn't waiting.
He had the bacon sizzling nicely when JC staggered down the hall to collapse limply against the refrigerator door, leaning his head against the freezer and moaning. "I'm gonna die," he whined. "DIE. I'm never drinking again, Joey, I swear to god, seriously. WHY did I do those tequila shots?"
"I wasn't around for the tequila shots," said Joey mildly. "Those are entirely your own fault. Water's in the fridge, coffee's in the pot, aspirin's in the bathroom but you'll have to wait because AJ's in there right now. Why don't you sit down, man, before you collapse in the middle of my kitchen?"
JC growled at him weakly, but then slid down the fridge to sit on the floor. "If AJ doesn't get outta there soon, I'm gonna throw up on the floor and it'll be ALL his fault," he predicted direly, eyes falling closed and a hand reaching gingerly up to rub his temple. "Joeeeeeey. Can you get me coffee?"
Joey rolled his eyes, but poured him a cup, because JC would have done the same for him. "Drink water, too; I won't be blamed if your headache gets worse. And try not to throw up on the floor, okay? I'm sure AJ won't be *that* much longer." Though, really, he wasn't so sure at all.
"It's *AJ*," JC bitched. "He could be in there all DAY." He rubbed his head some more, eyes pinched shut in distress. "I think I need gatorade or something. If I drink water I'm definitely gonna puke. And drugs, good, nice, painkilling drugs. Ugh. Never drinking again." He slitted an eye at Joey. "Am I remembering right that AJ got it on with Justin last night, or was that some fucked up dream?"
Joey smiled to himself as he went back to his bacon. "No, you're remembering right," he assured him. "It was an interesting night. I don't have any gatorade, so if you want some you're going to have to brave your parents' store and I don't think you want to be doing that just yet. There might be juice in the fridge, though. I think there is."
"Too sweet," JC declined. "Maybe after AJ gets out I can make him get me gatorade. AJ loves me, he'll do it, I bet, 'specially since he owes me for his two last packs of smokes." He blinked at Joey, seeming to slowly come back to humanity. "He really made out with Justin? Hey, go AJ."
"Or Justin made out with him," said Joey. "Either way, there was making out, and yes, you saw it, so no, it wasn't just a strange, strange dream. I need to get the eggs out of the fridge, Jace, baby, you're gonna have to move."
"No moving," JC protested, sliding sideways until he was lying on his side on the floor, still stretched out in front of the fridge. "I like this piece of floor, I want to stay. I saw it? Really? Huh." He blinked some more, then closed his eyes, giving every indication he was about to fall asleep again.
"Jace, I'm serious, I actually need to get in." Joey turned off the burner so the bacon wouldn't get too crispy, and turned to help JC. "You also saw me talk to Chris, do you remember that part? Or the part where you saw Chris making out with some random guy?"
"noooooo," JC moaned, and kicked weakly at Joey as Joey dragged him out of the way of the fridge. He stayed where he was put fairly contentedly, though, and watched Joey grab the eggs out of the fridge. "I remember the Chris thing because I was worried about you," he said finally, "and the seeing Chris thing too, for the same reason. Did you, you didn't run into him again, did you?"
"No, I didn't see him again," said Joey, digging out a bowl and cracking eggs into it, enough for the three of them because JC *would* eat, when it was placed in front of him. He always did. "He was probably still making out with that guy when me and AJ left for the car. It's fine, though, I'm fine. Hell, I'd even talk to him again. Really, I would."
"Yeah?" JC blinked sleepy eyes at him. "That's not what you were sayin' last night, I remember. You couldn't get out of there fast enough." He sniffed appreciatively. "Can I have a piece of that bacon to tide me over? That sounds really good. And then I'm gonna go kill AJ for taking the longest showers EVER."
"Well, he does *live* here," Joey pointed out. "He does pay rent. He's entitled to take as long of showers as he likes." He picked a piece of bacon out of the pan and handed it over, then started taking the rest out and laying them on a piece of paper towel. "I guess I've just gotten some perspective since last night, is all."
"Yeah?" JC dragged himself up to a sitting position and nibbled delicately on the bacon. "Perspective's good. Did you meet somebody or something when I wasn't looking?" He drank another long gulp of coffee, and a little color came back into his face.
Joey just shrugged vaguely. "Me and AJ talked last night," he said finally, because JC was not one to let it go without some kind of an answer. It wasn't even a lie. "After you passed out in his room. It was good."
"Yeah?" JC started the long, painfully slow process of getting to his feet. "It was super nice of him to let me sleep in his bed. I gotta remember to do something nice for him too. He's got a nice bed." He wandered over and leaned heavily against Joey's back, stealing another piece of bacon. "What did you talk about, anyway?"
"Just stuff," said Joey vaguely. "Nothing you'd be interested in. He's a good roommate, I'm glad he showed up on my doorstep one day. Now quit with the bacon before the rest of breakfast is ready! Or at least make yourself useful and make toast or something..."
JC hung his chin on Joey's shoulder, one of his favorite positions, and sounded aggrieved. "Nothing I'd be interested in? I'm hungover, Joey, not dumb, y'know. But if you wanna be that way, fine." He didn't move from his spot. "I can't make toast, I have to go kill AJ for hogging the bathroom when there's someone out here that'll feel much better if he could just throw up."
"You were asleep, when he got in the shower," Joey reminded him. "And if you're just gonna throw it up, stop eating the damn bacon." He put the eggs on and then turned his head to give JC a peck on the cheek. "Here I was, getting you to keep an eye on me last night, when I should've been keeping an eye on *you*." And finally, they heard the shower stop.
"Thank god," JC groaned, though he still didn't move away from Joey, just shifting as he did, until they heard the bathroom door open. "I didn't need an eye, though, Joey, I just had a little too much to drink, is all. It happens. Never again, though, 'cause I'm never drinking again!" He slowly pried himself off Joey's back and shuffled off towards the bathroom.
"You needed someone to keep you away from those tequila shots," Joey reminded him, calling after him as he made his way to the bathroom. Then he turned back to his eggs again, and started getting out plates and cutlery for breakfast. JC was going to come back hungry, and he would bet that AJ would, too.
AJ strolled in just as the shower started up again, still a little damp around the edges, wearing baggy jeans and a tight black tank top. "That smells fan-fucking-tastic," he declared, standing hipslung in the doorway. "You're a god among men, Joey Fatone."
Joey stared for a moment, unable to help himself. AJ was just... sometimes it was like he was sex personified. And a good guy, on top of that. Finally he grinned and turned the burner off, and hoped JC wasn't long in the bathroom because breakfast was all but ready.
"Hopefully there's enough for three ravenous appetites," he said, and moved far enough away from the counter that AJ could get close to him, if he wanted to.
"Two," AJ said judiciously, "I think I heard that poor boy heaving up his guts just before he got in the shower." He did come a little closer, not all the way, but close enough to peek at the pans. "I'm starving," he said, not really looking at Joey, "can I get the plates for you?"
"Would you?" said Joey, very conscious of AJ's personal space. "That would be great. And despite the fact that JC was, in fact, heaving his guts just now, he's already been into the bacon and will be back for more when he's done. The boy is an eating *machine* and a little hangover -- or a big hangover, as the case may be -- is not going to stop him."
"More power to him," AJ nodded, slipping away and grabbing the plates, putting them on the table, returning for silverware. "What're you up to today, anyway? Now that midterms are over and you got your life back, and all." His voice was carefully casual.
"Today? Nothing at all," said Joey, stretching and grinning just as widely. Maybe, almost, a little suggestively. "Or maybe something fun, but I've got no plans. Mostly, my whole plan for today was to not think about school -- or work, but mostly school -- at all. As much as that's possible for me. What about you? Any plans?"
"Practice," AJ said. "I might go in to work for a little bit, they're getting a shipment in today. Other than that, not so much." His eyes lingered a little on Joey's chest, but he pulled them away hastily the moment Joey noticed. "Maybe get dinner with Howie," he said, almost to himself.
"Yeah?" said Joey, putting the bacon on a plate and the eggs in a bowl and popping some toast in while he was at it. "That sounds real nice. You'll, uh, have to tell me how Nick's doing, if you go. I'm sure Howie would... you know, I'm real sure you'd like to see Howie."
"Yeah?" AJ glanced at him. "It'd be nice to see him, that's for sure. Nick too, and I'll bring back a full report. Here, I got the coffee." He grabbed the whole pot and hauled it to the table, with milk and sugar, just at the moment JC came wandering out of the bathroom, trailing steam, clad in only a towel.
"My clothes all smell like party," he said mournfully. "Joey, can you loan me some?"
"You might as well just keep those pants that don't fit me anymore," said Joey, gesturing at the bedroom. "You know the ones. Those jeans, with the frayed pockets? I'm never gonna wear 'em again. And you know where the T-shirts are. You feeling better now?"
"Yes," JC said thoughtfully. "Much better, thanks." He wandered away again, towel slipping perilously low on his nonexistent hips, and AJ glanced at Joey, amused.
"He's something," he smiled, shaking his head. "C'mon, sit down, those eggs have gotta be getting cold. Did you put cheese in 'em?"
"We're out of cheese," said Joey apologetically. "JC's probably going to complain about that. But since he spent the entire time you were in the shower lying on my kitchen floor and getting in my way, I'm going to ignore him. So... how are *you* this morning?"
"On the FLOOR?" AJ looked startled, then laughed again. "Poor hungover fucker. He looks all right now, though." He slipped into a seat, propped his chin on his hand, and watched Joey with wary eyes. "I'm fine. Slept pretty good, actually. How about you?"
"Slept great," said Joey cheerfully. "Was real comfortable. Almost a shame to have to get up, but breakfast called. Man, you should've seen it, JC laid himself out in front of the fridge and wouldn't move. I had to drag him across the floor just to get in."
AJ kept his eyes on Joey, clearly treading carefully and watching him for clues. He relaxed a little more with every easy smile Joey gave him, though. "God, I'm sorry I missed that. On the other hand, that shower was pretty much heaven." He flipped his fork between his fingers. "Thanks again. For letting me sleep there, I dunno how Nick lasted that long on that damn hard couch."
"Well, I wasn't gonna kick you out of bed," said Joey, grinning at him as he helped himself to breakfast. "I liked having you there too much. You're right about that damn couch, though. I think it's conformed itself to JC's body or something, he's been on it so much. Those are JC-lumps, there."
"Is that what those are?" AJ snickered, almost went on, but then snapped his mouth shut as JC reappeared, still toweling his hair but dressed. "No wonder Nick's back was always cracking," he finally added. "He ain't built nothing like JC."
"Nope," JC yawned. "Mmmm, breakfast. Oh, man, no cheese?" He still reached for the bacon and eggs like someone who hadn't eaten in weeks.
"You probably sleepwalked last night and ate it all, the way you were going on about cheese at the party," said Joey, stabbing his fork in JC's direction. "I should check the garbage and see if there are any empty cheese packages in there. Anyone need anything else, or can we all relax now?"
"I don't sleepwalk to eat cheese," JC said with as much dignity as he could, considering his mouth was completely full. "And siddown, Joey, eat something."
"Yeah, before JC gets it all," AJ agreed, reaching for the bacon himself. "You were lookin' a little green this morning, Jace. Good to see you survived."
"I am sitting!" said Joey, though he was more kneeling in his chair, ready to spring to his feet at any moment, than sitting. "Not only am I sitting, notice, full plate in front of me? And even hung over JC knows better than to eat off it. Except if there was cheese, then I suppose all bets would be off."
"Well, yeah." JC looked at him like he was completely insane for even thinking otherwise. "And you're not sitting, you're...hovering. Sit. Relax. Jesus, what's got you so high strung today?"
"He's not high strung," AJ said immediately, almost defensively. "He's just making sure you got everything, Mister Collapse On The Floor And Block The Fridge."
"I didn't *collapse*," said JC indignantly. "I lounged. On the floor. It's hardly my fault that Joey didn't get the eggs out of the fridge until the last possible moment. He should have been ready already."
"Any more out of you and you don't get any breakfast," Joey mock-threatened him. "I'm just making everyone is well taken care of, here. Like I always do."
"You do, it's true," JC softened and sent Joey a sweet, sweet smile. "But I know you'd never take breakfast away from me, anyway."
"He's got your number," AJ muttered at Joey, hiding his own smile with a mouthful of food. And his cheeks flushed just a little when their knees bumped under the table, as Joey reached for the salt.
Joey finally slid down into his seat entirely, his leg coming to rest just brushing against AJ's. "Okay, so I'd never deprive someone of food. I'm still going to drag you somewhere unpleasant next time you decide to nurse your hangover in front of the fridge. Speaking of, you need to have something other than coffee, JC, or the headache's just going to get worse. Right?"
"I had four aspirin in the bathroom," JC informed him cheerfully, still shoveling in the food. "The food's just for cushioning for them. And I LIKE the floor in your kitchen, it's all cool. Anyway, you don't have gatorade."
"No, no gatorade," AJ agreed, still slightly pink, and not looking at Joey. "Listen, JC, your car's outside, on your way home do you think you could drop me by Howie's?"
"Like, right away?" asked JC, his mouth full again. "Cause I was gonna veg out a bit before taking off, unless Joey kicks me out."
"Water's still better than coffee," said Joey, brushing against AJ deliberately this time, but only for a moment, "or you're going to dehydrate so hard your brain will shrivel and lord knows you can't afford to have *that* happen."
"Hey!" JC looked indignant, then winced and grabbed his head. "Don't make me be loud," he whimpered, and got a snort from AJ.
"What?" He glanced back and forth between their looks. "I *stopped* drinking just 'cause of that. I get to laugh. And no, that doesn't mean I'm gonna drag poor sick JC out the door first thing. I got stuff I can do here."
"Good," said Joey, and smiled at him even though 'stuff' might have nothing to do with him. "Though if no one's gonna be around later today, maybe I'll head out to mom's for dinner again. She called the other day and complained that I haven't been back since... you know. I told them. Plus, I think she's making lasagne today, and yes JC, this time I will remember to bring home leftovers."
"Ugh." JC made a face and suddenly shoved his plate away from him, placing a delicate hand on his belly. "Okay, I maybe ate that too fast. Dont' talk about lasagne for just a second."
"Careful there," AJ warned, not slowing down on his food at all. "You don't want to hit it with too much too fast." He slipped his eyes sideways to Joey again, then looked back at JC.
Joey took it as a hint that had to do with more than just JC. "Just take it easy, man," he said -- to JC, not to AJ -- and patted his shoulder for a moment. No matter how annoyed he played it, JC was the best friend he had, and he didn't take that for granted. "I'll go get you some gatorade after we finish eating, how about?"
"Okay," JC sighed with relief and just melted down into his chair, losing his second wind, apparently, and supporting his head with his hands. "Owwwwww."
"Poor JC." There was genuine sympathy in AJ's voice. "You should sleep some more, man. Seriously, it'll make you feel so much better, and give the aspirin a chance to kick in. You can even have my bed again, if you want."
"Yeah," agreed Joey, finishing off his breakfast and contemplating seconds. Maybe *after* he took care of JC, though. "You don't look so hot, JC. A little more sleep would probably do a world of good."
"Okay," JC agreed, in a small wobbly voice. "I think more sleep would be good. No more tequila for me ever, Joey, you see me with that stuff you have my permission to beat me up."
"Aw, now," AJ said, and he still sounded sympathetic, though he was clearly trying to hide a smile. "I don't think we've got to go THAT far. Beating up just ain't a friendly thing to do."
"How about I just put you in headlock and drag you home?" Joey suggested. "I'd beat you up, but you bite and could probably kick my ass if you tried. Go sleep, Jace. We'll talk to you later."
"He bites?" AJ's eyebrows rose disbelievingly as they watched JC pull himself slowly, painfully to his feet, using the table as support.
"Only the once," JC protested, but his heart clearly wasn't in it. He was very pale, and his hands were shaking a little, and he shuffled off towards AJ's room, only to pause outside Joey's door and turn around to eye them.
"Joey's room smells like sex." He narrowed his eyes at them both.
Joey lifted his eyebrows but didn't answer; he'd promised he wouldn't, even though it was incredibly hard not to just blurt everything out to JC. Insted he turned back to AJ and sipped his coffee while looking at him inquiringly.
AJ was pink, and looking down at the table, before he glanced at Joey, and then to JC. "Yeah," he said quietly. "That's probably my fault. We. Hmm. You know." He made a vague gesture, and JC's eyes went huge.
"Holy shit!" He wobbled back towards them, pausing only to press his hand against his temple. "I can't believe it! And I'm too hungover to even know what to say here 'cause my brain isn't working, but whoa." He looked right at Joey, a worried little line between his brows.
"And it was good," Joey supplied helpfully, and smiled at JC and tried to make him see that it was all good. But he knew JC wasn't going to be satisfied until they talked. At least Joey had license to do just that now. "And you don't need to be thinking whatever it is that you're thinking that's making you look at me like that."
"I'm not thinking at all, my brain hurts too much," JC replied absently, and that got a huff of laughter out of AJ.
"It was good," he agreed. "It's not a...you don't gotta worry, JC. It was all good, something I, we, we both wanted it, I think, and it was good." He still wasn't looking at Joey, but JC's face relaxed a little, though he still seemed a little concerned.
"I think I have to sleep more before I can process this," he declared, turned abruptly, and headed back towards AJ's room. "I'm gonna go sleep on the non-sexed bed."
"I think we'd all be happier that way," agreed Joey, still smiling at him. And at AJ, too, even if he wasn't looking back. "Sleep well, Jace. Everything's good." And as far as Joey was concerned, it was.
When JC shut the door behind him, AJ finally glanced up and met his eyes, flushed and embarrassed, but smiling, too. "I shoulda known he'd figure it out," he said quietly. "He knows you too well, man."
"It was only a matter of time," said Joey, nodding at him a little. Fondly. "That was quicker than I thought, though. I figured he'd at least need to get over his hangover before starting to notice anything different."
"We were doing fine until his nose got involved," AJ said ruefully, leaning back in his chair and stretching out a little, staring at his hands and picking at the black nail polish just a little. "I guess...he's not freaking out or anything, that's a good sign. I don't think he has the energy to freak right now, though."
"Oh, JC's not going to freak," said Joey quickly. "He might tease, and stick his nose in our business -- figuratively, not literally -- but he's not going to freak about this. He's probably just going to sit me down when he gets me alone and lecture me about not hurting you because you're new to all this and you need me to be gentle and patient and stuff. Jace is just like that."
"I was kinda expecting the opposite," AJ mused. "You know, him sitting ME down and saying not to fuck around with you, since you're just getting over Chris, and making sure I'm not just playing. Shit like that. Who knows, maybe he'll do both."
"He might do both," Joey conceded. "JC likes to meddle. He probably just wants to make sure we both know what we're doing, is all. It's not really any of his business, but he'll be happier knowing and offering advice."
"An' I guess a happy JC makes for a happy Joey." It was said softly, not really a question, and AJ shook his head just a little. "I *don't* know what I'm doing, though, so I hope he's willing to take a rain check on that. I'm happy to listen to advice, though."
Joey swallowed a little nervously. "So it's not much clearer than it was last night, then?" he said finally. "Not... not that it has to be. I'm just a little... you know."
"No idea, baby," AJ said curiously, looking at him. "You're, what? I, um." He sighed. "I mean, I liked it. Loved it. It was amazing, but I still don't...I know I like doing it, I'm just still, kind of, a little freaked out. Just a little. And it's not your fault at all, you're great, it's just kind of strange for me, still."
"I'm a little nervous," Joey finished for him carefully after a moment. "I'm a little worried you're going to change your mind about this. I understand the freaked out, though, I totally do. Anything I can help with?"
"I just." AJ stared at him. "See, that's kinda part of the problem, here. Change my mind about what? What are we doing? Are we roommates with benefits? Are you showin' me the ropes out of the goodness of your heart? Was that a one-off thing that'll never be repeated? Are you looking for a committment?" He ran his hands anxiously through his hair, making the curls stand up wildly. "I'm completely lost here, I dunno the protocol."
"Okay, yeah, you are kinda freaking a little here," said Joey, standing up to clean off the table. "Another cup of coffee and a talk, maybe? I still mean what I said last night -- I'd really like to try to be something with you, but I think we need to kinda go forward with both eyes open, you know?"
"Okay, okay." AJ stood up too, and started clearing the table with him. "I'm not gonna freak, I'm fine. Seriously, not freaking." He looked a little freaked regardless, but determined, too. "I mean, it's not weird, it's just people, right? Just 'cause the person is a guy, and it turns you on super-hard, it shouldn't be a big deal, right?" He looked at Joey appealingly.
"Right," said Joey easily. "The only way it needs to be a big deal is that it's *great*, you know? It feels great. It's okay for it to seem a little weird at first, though, before you get used it. I mean, it's true, the stuff feels different. But it's all good. It's all okay. Um. How long were you, uh, actually thinking about it... before Justin, I mean?"
"I started realizing it in therapy," AJ said, a little subdued. "I was talking about Howie a whole lot, how he was helpin' me, and my shrink kind of brought it out that there was maybe kind of a crush there. And there was, not anymore, but yeah, and I'd see him with his boyfriends and I'd be thinkin' about it a lot. And then, you know, Justin...and living with you...it kind of all came to the front."
Joey nodded slowly as he found room for everything in the fridge. "So it's just kinda cause I'm here and not because I'm me?" he said after a moment. "I mean, it's okay if that's what's going on, it's totally fine. I just want to know."
"Nah," AJ said slowly, thoughtfully. "I think it's cause you're here AND you're you, if that makes any sense. I mean, I stayed with Howie for a long time but I never had any, you know, urges to get naked with him." He glanced at Joey, a little smile in his eyes. "You're hot, man."
Joey grinned back at him. "Well, that's a bit of a relief, I gotta say," he said, pouring himself some more coffee and reaching his hand out for AJ's cup. "Let's go get comfortable somewhere, yeah? Make this easier."
"All right." AJ followed him agreeably enough after he'd gotten his cup topped off, and lounged down into the chair. Joey was starting to pick up on some of his body language, and had figured out that AJ posed when he was feeling uncertain. This was definitely a pose, his legs spread a little, one hand resting on his belly. "So. Thanks for breakfast?"
"Hey, any time," said Joey, planting himself down on the couch. "It's turning into my specialty, I think. So, uh... you're okay, right? With us doing what we did? No regrets?"
"Not so far," AJ admitted. "You've been pretty amazing about it, low key and all. If there'd been some kind of big emotional scene this morning, I dunno what I would've done. But you're not like that, man, it's one of the things I like about you." He sent Joey a tentative smile. "You? Regrets?"
"Not a one," said Joey confidently. "I'm actually, you know, I'm real happy about it. About the way things seem to be working out. I didn't go out looking for anything, but you were right there, and... I'm just really comfortable with you. It's good. No matter what happens."
AJ was still looking at him curiously, probingly. "So, you don't want to be...dating. Boyfriends. Whatever. Right? Or do you? I just can't figure you out, man. I'm, don't get me wrong, I'm happy too, but I think maybe we ought to figure out intentions here before somebody gets their feelings hurt. Don't you think it might be hard, since we live together and all, if we start getting...involved?"
"Hard? Yeah, maybe," admitted Joey. "But we made that decision last night, before we went to my room, you know? We knew that, we already knew that, but we went for it anyway. I... I'm really trying to feel out what *you* might want, here."
"I got no idea," AJ told him candidly. "I'm all kinds of mixed up in my head right now, but I do know I don't wanna fuck up this roommate situation, and I know I think you're hot, and I know that was some of the best sex I can remember having ever. So that's kind of where I'm coming from." He stood up abruptly, paced a couple of steps, then settled himself back on the couch at Joey's side, knees touching lightly. "So."
"Better," said Joey approvingly. "Okay, I'll be honest, I'm having trouble getting through this conversation without bringing up my relationship with Chris. So I'm gonna apologize in advance for that. But the truth is... well, okay. I was thinking about you, like that, since before I thought it was possible. I wouldn't have ever done anything, but then things happened and we got together and I'm happy about that. I don't think it's gonna fuck up the situation here, I think we're both grown up enough not to let it."
"You can talk about Chris," AJ shrugged. "He was your last boyfriend AND your last roommate, it just makes sense." He sighed a little. "I don't know if I'm ready for anything as formal as a boyfriend, man. I gotta be straight with you, I just don't know if I can, right off like this." He looked sideways at Joey. "You thought I was hot before?"
"Yeah, I thought you were hot before," said Joey, giving him a friendly nudge. "I'm not sure I'm ready for the boyfriend thing either. So. Just casual for now, maybe? For a little while? Until we figure whether we want more or not? I mean, we're not lesbians, man. I'm not going to have you move into my room right after our first time together or anything."
AJ nudged him right back, grinning a little. "Good, 'cause if you did I'd have flipped out more than a little. Casual sounds great, really great. It'd be nice, having something like that, while I...I don't wanna make it sound like I'm usin' you or nothing, but someone to get used to things with for REAL, while I'm getting used to them in my head, too." He leaned just a fraction of his weight against Joey's shoulder, almost feeling like he was hovering there.
"That's not using me," Joey assured him. "That's just giving me good sex. It's a pretty win win situation, when you think about it. And I'm pretty much always up for doing something. So."
"The good sex is reciprocal," AJ reminded him, but he smiled at the compliment. "So, are there, like, rules? You know, about touching? Stuff we're supposed to do, and not? Is this all right?" He leaned a little more on Joey for a moment, then withdrew, like he was testing.
"Oh, oh yeah, that's great. I'm a pretty touchy feely guy to begin with, and I'm about as out as out can be. Whatever you wanna do, it's pretty much cool with me. It's *your* comfort zone I'm more worried about, you know? I don't want to freak you out or anything."
AJ took a deep breath, and slipped an arm over Joey's shoulder, flattening a palm against his chest. "I'm pretty much not going to freak, I don't think," he said, and if his voice was a little nervous, he also sounded determined. "I want to, I liked it when you were touching me last night. You got good hands. I liked it."
That was, really, all the encouragement Joey needed. He ran his fingers lightly over the tattoos on AJ's arm, then the one on his stomach, then leaned in for a kiss. Everything a lot less desperate and a lot more deliberate than the night before.
AJ tasted like toothpaste and bacon and surprise, not a bad combination, and his mouth was still and frozen for a long moment under Joey's, before he tentatively kissed back. His hands were almost too light, again, brushing the hair behind Joey's ear and the round of his shoulder, but his tongue flickered eagerly into Joey's mouth, and his body swayed towards Joey's like it was the easiest thing in the world.
It was still a surprise to Joey, that AJ had gotten this far in his life, been through so many things, without ever once realizing how attracted he was to men. Because he obviously enjoyed it a great deal, and if the barely-sex-at-all they'd had the night before was really some of the best of his life, then maybe AJ wasn't as into women as he thought he was. Maybe it was just habit. Joey knew all about that.
Joey didn't want to stop kissing him, wanted to really feel it this time -- and Justin *hadn't* exaggerated AJ's abilities -- and let AJ feel what *he* could do when they took their time.
AJ's hands were getting a little more confident, fingers curling around Joey's upper arms as AJ pressed closer, breathing harder and squirming a little. He sucked Joey's tongue into his mouth and started a gentle, suggestive rhythm, kneading his fingers into Joey's skin in time with it, and he made a low, needy sound in his throat.
Joey wished he dared to more, but they were on the couch and JC was sleeping -- probably lightly -- in the other room, and more than both of those he wanted AJ to be the one to make the first move, so he could be *sure* he wasn't doing anything that he wasn't ready for. And so he kept kissing, and kissing, and touching, and kissing.
AJ's hands were shaking, just a fine tremor, and he shifted so he was facing Joey more completely, almost in his lap. "Fuck," he whispered against Joey's mouth, and when Joey checked, his eyes were wide and dark and stunned-looking. "Well, I guess last night wasn't a fluke," he added, almost-joking, almost-not.
"I can't say I'm sorry for that," murmured Joey, hesitating before kissing him again. Which was hard, because damn did AJ turn him on something fierce. "Because this is really good."
"Yeah it is," AJ said, somehow wiggling even CLOSER, like he'd been starved for touch and Joey was a feast. "So much better than I thought, I might maybe have to freak out a little again. After the kissing, though, cause I don't wanna miss any of it." He smiled a little, then caught Joey's bottom lip gently between his teeth, playing just a bit.
Joey grinned at him. "Freaking out does seem like such a waste of time when there are much more fun things to do." Inwardly, though, he was glad AJ was going to go spend some time with Howie later. Howie would be a rock about it.
AJ eased down a little, so that some of his weight was actually resting in Joey's lap. "It's a good thing I love dating women bigger than me, or this'd be even weirder than it already is," he said suddenly, looking down at the way their bodies contrasted with each other, the easy way Joey supported him. "But I'm not gonna freak out about THAT, either, right now."
"I'm glad I'm to your taste, then," said Joey, lifting AJ's chin and then kissing him again, searchingly. "Cause you're sure as hell to mine."
AJ's smile at that was fierce and happy. "Good thing, too," he said, his tone light. "I'd hate for my first real hots for a guy to be unrequited. That'd be a sure way to put me off the whole thing." One of his hands slipped down the back of Joey's shirt, and his fingers were cool on the skin of Joey's shoulder. "We should probably stop, huh? Or I got a feeling I won't want to at all."
Joey hesitated and licked his lips. "I'll go wherever you go," he said finally. "But if you don't want to stop, we should probably go somewhere else. Not here, on the couch with the JC lumps."
AJ snickered. "I wasn't actually paying much attention to the lumps," he confessed, eyes following the motion of Joey's tongue. He dragged his fingertips across Joey's shoulder, stroking the groove of his spine. "I wouldn't mind going somewhere else, though. Someplace a little more comfy." His hands were still a little shaky, but Joey couldn't tell if it was nerves or arousal.
"Back to my room," said Joey, but lazily this time, not with the intensity of the previous night. "Where we both already know it's comfortable, and there's plenty of room to do whatever we want to do. And believe me, that's no accident."
AJ smiled, shook his head a little. "Oh, I believe you," he answered, slowly pulling away far enough for Joey to stand. "You clearly had a lotta practice at this, man, and I am most grateful." He took a deep breath, and pushed himself off the couch, adjusting his jeans discreetly.
Joey was definitely feeling a lot of lust at the moment, but he also felt a warm rush of affection, seeing AJ work to fit himself into this new and little-bit-scary situation. The combination of awkwardness and confidence and just being AJ was appealing.