The tour was more hectic and tiring than any of them had imagined. It was also the most exhilarating time they had ever experienced. It was Holland, but longer, Sweden, but more intense, and the people spoke English except for a day or two when they spoke French. They were onstage nearly every night, and sometimes twice in a day. Fans screamed and cheered, gave them gifts and asked for autographs, and it was so much more than the high school tours had ever been. And after this, Lou promised, after this tour there would be no more malls and no more schools. They would make the video, release their single, an album not long afterward. They would be able to write music, have more say in what they put out. Kevin was sure of it and he was counting the days. Kevin called Chris frequently, but Chris was rarely at home, and Kevin was often too tired or caught up in the excitement of the evening, in the bonding of the group, to call back at a later time. Kevin wasn't sure if Chris had ever attempted to use the list of phone numbers that he'd left behind. When Kevin did catch Chris on the phone, it was friendly conversation, but that was it. Nothing more. Sometimes there wasn't even an 'I miss you.' Not on either side. Chris brushed Kevin off when he mentioned Chris's disappearing act. Nick had declared that the six tiny rainbow ninjas were their good luck charm, and he made sure that Kevin carried them wherever they went. Nick would set them up somewhere in their dressing room (which was often not a room at all, but some curtained off corner instead). Nick would set them up and leave them until the end of the show, so that Kevin would often walk into the space to see ninjas perched on a windowsill, or by a mirror, on top of the radiator. The orange ninja's foot melted a bit during one concert due to that particular choice of resting-place. Nick's faith in the luck of the ninja's increased tenfold when Kevin accidentally left them at the hotel one evening. The same evening that Howie slipped on a stuffed animal and fell right off the edge of the stage. "Blame Kev," Nick said, nudging Howie as they walked off after their set. It was the same night that Kevin found out that Chris did in fact know he had left a list of phone numbers. He called shortly after Kevin was in for the evening. Kevin gushed about the tour, the long hours, the constant ache in his back and in his knees, the camaraderie among the boys, and the glowing eyes of the crowd. Chris listened indulgently, asking questions in all the right places, though some a bit more blunt than would be expected, and at the first lull in the conversation, Chris said, "Hey, so I met this kid." "Oh yeah?" Kevin asked, his brain instantly flitting to the distrust that had eaten away at his last two relationships. But then, this had become more a friendship than a relationship anyway. "You gonna leave me for him?" Chris snorted on the other end of the line. "He's like 12, dude. No. I'd rather not end up in jail, thanks." "So you met this kid…" Kevin prodded. "Right. And the kid. He knows a guy." "Good for him," Kevin said, in a dry manner, an attempt to push Chris toward the point of his tale. "No," Chris said, "like another guy with a set of pipes. He's in LA, but he would come back. The kid, Justin, says he would come back. So we're gonna try. We're gonna try to turn our luck around, man." Kevin smiled. He knew it would work for Chris, and this was a step toward that. This was it. "Congratulations, man. That's. I don't want to say that I told you so, but I told you it would work out for you." "It hasn't yet," Chris said. "Don't jinx it." "It will." "Hey," Chris barked. "Stop! You're going to jinx it. If you jinx it I'll fly up there and beat the shit out of you." "Okay," Kevin laughed. "Okay. I'm sorry, man." Chris was small, and probably had no polished fighting skills, and yet Kevin had no doubt that Chris could probably take him in a fight if Chris's heart was in it. And Chris's heart was in this. Kevin could hear it in his voice. It would work out. Before long the tour was over and they were headed home. Later they'd look back and say that it went in the blink of an eye, that it was so short it felt like it had never happened, but on the plane back it certainly felt like it had been long enough. Lou had given them leave to go home, visit their families, so while everyone else was on their way back to Florida, Kevin and Brian boarded a plane to Kentucky. Kevin spent two weeks staying in his old bedroom and eating his mother's home cooking. It was the break he needed, and when his mother asked how his friend Chris was doing, Kevin just shrugged. He hadn't spoken to Chris at all since Chris had called to gush about a kid named Justin. It was like they'd just called everything off, an unspoken breakup. Kevin had stopped calling, and Chris had lost the list of phone numbers. Kevin's mother looked concerned when Kevin claimed not to know what Chris was up to. She didn't know that Chris was more than just a friend, but Kevin often wondered if she suspected. He didn't hide well, and she was never so concerned about the fellas when Kevin didn't know what was up with them. "Oh, honey. That's too bad," his mother said, frowning, and served him another bowl of chili. Kevin called Chris that evening, and actually did reach him. "Hey," Chris said, sounding surprised. "How are you?" Kevin asked, leaning back on his bed and chewing at the fingernails on his left hand. "Good. Great, really. I've been busy." "The tour's over. I'm in Kentucky," Kevin said, and after a bit more small talk he went on, "Chris, listen. I'm going to be home soon, but I've been thinking. This long distance thing -" "It hasn't really been working," Chris cut in. "Right. I mean, you're a great guy and I had a lot of fun, but being away, I just -" "Didn't miss me as much as you thought you would," Chris supplied. "Exactly. You too?" "I told you this would happen. I told you I'm not good at it," Chris said. "But, you know, things have been so good lately," Chris admitted. "I think I got caught up and sort of…forgot. That sounds horrible, man. But you didn't miss me either, so I guess I won't feel too bad." Kevin could almost hear his crooked smile on the other end of the line. "Don't feel bad," he agreed. "So," Chris jumped in, drawing out the long 'o'. "How many groupies did you sleep with?" "Chris," Kevin frowned. "Come on. I'll tell you. I slept with a blond chick and let some dude in a club blow me. They were Kirkpatrick groupies." Kevin sighed. He had hoped that Chris would have forgotten about it. He'd hoped that it wouldn't come up, because he'd said that he wouldn't. He'd practically promised even though Chris had insisted that he should. "Three," Kevin mumbled finally. "What?" Chris asked loudly. "Three," Kevin repeated raising his voice a little. "Guys or gals?" Chris asked. "All three were girls." "I thought so. Kevin groupies." "Chris. I know you said it was okay, but I said that I wouldn't and -" "And you know, we should totally still hang out," Chris cut in, reminding Kevin that they were breaking up anyway. "You're a fun guy, Kev. We should go have a few beers when you get back. Try being friends without the fucking," Chris paused, and then added, "Or you know, we could still fuck once in awhile if that's what you want. Just no more pretending it's like a relationship, right? I'll be like a Kevin groupie." And that was it. The easiest breakup Kevin had ever been a part of. And this time it wasn't the trust that tore them apart, it wasn't even the sex with other people. And maybe the distance had actually helped. Helped them to realize where they stood, what they really wanted, and if it turned out not to be each other, then fine. They could still be friends. Kevin's mother asked about Kristin the next day and frowned in the same manner when Kevin said he didn't know how she was either. "You should call her," his mother said. "She liked you." Not enough, Kevin thought, and then the two weeks were up and it was time to go back. He hugged his brothers, kissed his mother on the cheek and tried to breathe as she hugged him so hard that it threatened to cut off the air to his lungs. "Your father would be so proud," his mother said quietly, standing on tiptoes to get closer to his ear. Kevin closed his eyes, held his mother tight, and then smiled. He released her, kissed her one more time, and slipped into the cab where Brian was already waiting. Brian was quiet on the drive back to the airport, and even quieter once the plane was in the air. His nose stuck in his Gameboy. Brian always ended up with the worst cases of homesickness and would be nearly silent for days, until Nick pounced on him during rehearsal, or got him involved in some stupid game. Only then would Brian would light up, his smile brighter than ever and all traces of homesickness would disappear until the next time he flew up to the rolling hills of Kentucky. Next