Between Justin's schedule and AJ's need to take some time to himself, it was a few days before he managed to make it out to Justin's place again. He surprised himself with the realization that he kind of missed him, annoying arrogance and all, and had started looking for excuses to get together with him.
Not that he had needed an excuse in the end -- or ever had. Justin called him up and asked him if he wanted to drop by for little while and AJ said sure and that was that. Since when did AJ ever make excuses for himself anyway?
He ended up driving a car from Jerry's -- an old Jeep YJ, actually -- doubling his visit as a road test. He really kind of liked the vehicle for himself, though; maybe he'd make Jerry an offer on it. It wasn't really his style, normally, but that style seemed to be changing every time he turned around anyway.
He saw Justin peering through the curtains as he drove up, probably to confirm his identity even though he'd buzzed AJ in. "Come on through out back," he called out a moment later, popping his head out the front door. "I got the barbecue going." Then he disappeared again, leaving the door open, and AJ figured that was all the invitation he rated anymore.
He found his way easily enough, making sure he, at least, closed the doors behind him -- Justin had left the patio doors open too. "You're barbecuing lunch for us?" he said when he got out there. Justin looked up and grinned at him and offered him a bottle of root beer.
"I just threw some chicken burgers on," he said. "Nothing big."
"You're barbecuing chicken burgers?" AJ gave up on trying to figure him out. "All right, sure, whatever."
"Lots of people barbecue chicken burgers," he said defensively, like it was critically important for AJ to understand that him barbecuing chicken burgers was a normal, healthy thing. "I like it."
"I'm sure you do," said AJ as he opened his root beer, only realizing after how condescending it probably came out. Shit like that was just habit sometimes. "I'm sure it'll be good," he added.
"It will," said Justin firmly. When he lifted the lid to check the food, it was definitely for show. AJ tried not to smile. "So what have you been up to? I tried calling a couple days ago ... "
AJ shrugged and made himself at home in a patio chair. "I was just doing my thing," he said vaguely. "You know how it is."
"And your thing didn't include talking to me?"
"My thing didn't include talking to anyone." He'd been expecting Justin to ask that and was ready for it. He probably would've been a bit disappointed if he hadn't, really. They didn't go more than a couple days without talking anymore.
"Well, that's cool," Justin said after a moment. Enough time to think it through and find it non-threatening, AJ figured.
"I was working something out," he added.
"And did you? Work it out, I mean?"
"Yeah, I think so," said AJ, seriously considering the question like he'd learned to, with stuff like that. "Made a good start, anyway."
"Well, that's good," said Justin, unnecessarily checking the food again. "So. Um. Anything to do with me?"
AJ laughed. "Yeah, you wish," he said. "It's just stuff. You wouldn't be interested. I actually work stuff out, instead of just letting it simmer."
"Are you saying I don't?"
"Justin," he said, summoning up all his patience. "It's not about you." He didn't dare clarify that yeah, it had been a little bit about Justin. Justin would just latch right onto that and forget there'd been a dozen other things, too.
"So how are things with Sarah?"
AJ's head shot up and for a second he wondered if he'd said more aloud than he'd meant to, then remembered the last time he'd actually talked to Justin had been right before seeing her. But still, Justin had given up on the previous line of conversation awfully easily.
"She's good," he said finally. What else could he say about it? She was fine. Things were fine. "I'm probably gonna be at her place for the weekend. She wants to make it our cozy getaway for a couple days."
"Right," said Justin, but he frowned a little like he didn't quite understand. AJ didn't explain. "Well I'll try to remember not to call, then."
"You wouldn't get me anyway," he said, leaning back into his chair and closing his eyes against the sunlight, wishing he hadn't taken his sunglasses off. "I'll have the cell turned off for the weekend. Probably starting tomorrow, actually."
"Going underground again, huh? Is that part of this whole recovery thing? Just randomly dropping out of the world whenever you feel like it?"
"Justin!"
He looked sorry even before AJ said it. "I'm sorry," he said, smoothly but sincerely. "I didn't mean it like that. I've just ... hardly seen you."
"Neither has she," AJ reminded him, using the following moment of silence to help him get over the surprise that Justin was genuinely missing him. "Besides ... you've been busy. And I'm sure you haven't been lacking for company ... "
"If that's a not-so-subtle fish for information about my love life," Justin said, turning around, a smile back on his face already, "then you're gonna be disappointed. The most I did was give a guy a blowjob in a bathroom."
"What?"
"What?" Justin echoed him. "Like you never. Fucked around like that, I mean. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't pass that on, by the way." He caught AJ's eye and kept grinning. "And since I know you have a burning desire to know this," he added, "I give great blowjobs."
AJ hadn't been about to ask, but looking at Justin's full, wet, slightly parted lips, he didn't doubt it one bit. He shook his head and hoped it looked like resigned amusement with Justin and not like what it really was -- and attempt to get the image of Justin going down on someone out of his head. He'd always told Justin he was cool if Justin wanted to talk about that stuff with him, but he hadn't been expecting the visuals that came with it.
"Is something burning?" he asked, just to tear Justin's eyes away from him.
"Oh hell," said Justin, whirling back around again and lifting the lid of the barbecue. "I turn my back for two seconds ... " AJ closed his eyes as soon as Justin couldn't see him and fished around for his sunglasses, remembering why he never used to take them off at all. It had nothing to do with sunlight. A puff of smoke floated out of the barbecue as Justin flipped the burgers. And grunted at them. "They survived," he said finally. "It's fine. It's good."
AJ gave up on the sunglasses a few moments later, which, when he thought about it, he might've left in the car. He just had to hope his eyes weren't as expressive as he dreaded they were.
Pulling himself up out of the chair to help out, he finally saw that the umbrella table at the end of the deck was already set with two place settings and about a hundred condiments plus salad -- two kinds -- and chips. Despite Justin's breezy assurance that he'd just thrown some burgers on the barbecue for them, this spread wasn't "just" anything.
"Hey," said Justin, and AJ felt a poke in his side. "You wanna hand me your plate? They're ready."
"Justin Timberlake, master chef," he said, putting a bit of a smirk on his face before he faced him again. "Got any other hidden talents?"
"You have no idea," said Justin, smirking right back at him. AJ should have seen that coming, the amount of time they spent together, but he hadn't and it left him speechless just long enough for Justin to know he'd scored a point and go back to dropping a burger on AJ's plate.
"Well, go ahead," Justin prompted him as he served up one for himself. "Try it. I'm not trying to poison you or anything."
"It's a barbecued chicken burger. I think I'm supposed to dislike it on principle," he said, poking at it warily. "Did you find these in the bottom of your freezer and just didn't feel like going to the store to pick up anything else?"
"Shut up," Justin snickered as he sat down across from him and started serving himself up healthy portions of the salads. He looked faintly embarassed, though. "I'm not trying to poison you. Just eat it already." He sniffed and seemed to be implying that he'd worked hard on it and AJ better appreciate that, but he wouldn't say that out loud.
AJ had to admit that he'd eaten a lot stranger things over the years and, frankly, a chicken burger was pretty tame no matter what. And admit that most of his complaint was just to get a rise out of Justin, who almost never failed to take the bait.
"So I was thinking," said Justin, shoveling the food in so fast AJ wondered how long he'd been waiting for AJ to come over. Maybe even before he'd called. "About Nick."
"About Nick," AJ repeated flatly. Of all the things he'd had quite enough of other people's opinions on ... "Great. Hit me with it."
"No, no, don't be that way," he said, even reaching out to smack AJ's arm. "It's a good kind of thinking. I think I'd like to meet him."
AJ groaned softly and shook his head. "Justin," he said. "Fuck. I mean, it's great that you want to meet him and all, but Nick's going through a rough time and all and ... some other time. Can you just think about how hard that would be for Nick instead of just what you want?"
"Stop," said Justin, sounding frustrated with him. "Just listen? It's for Nick." As he was talking, he got up from the table and went back over to the barbecue for seconds. "Because, I mean, okay. I've gotten to know you pretty well, right? So I know that Nick's gonna be coming out of there with some ... baggage. And going back to all people that he knew before, when he was all ... you know. And so I thought ... him and me never really knew each other before. So I would be like a fresh start for him. No baggage."
For a minute, AJ had no idea what to say. Of all the things he'd been expecting to hear, that wasn't even on the list. It was just so damn ... nice. And sweet. And selfless.
"Hey, you want another burger, too? I can just grab you one, here ... "
"No, no, I can get my own," AJ insisted, spurred into action again and stumbling to his feet. Justin turned back to him with the food right as AJ stood up so all of a sudden they were face to face. And then ... they were kissing.
AJ didn't even know how it happened. One moment he was just standing there, full of all this affection for Justin and for what Justin was offering to do, then the next their mouths were pressed together, lips parting, tongues darting out to slide against one another. The only thing he was sure of was that he had been the one to initiate it.
But Justin certainly didn't seem to be objecting. A moment later the chicken burger tumbled from his fingers to the ground and his hand curled around the back of AJ's neck, holding him there as they kissed.
Then, as suddenly as it began, AJ realized what he was doing and jerked away. He still didn't know what to say, and from the looks of it, neither did Justin. He just stood there staring at AJ, his lips wet and reddened from the kiss, just begging AJ to come back to them. But ... no.
"I, um, actually ... " AJ took another step back. "I should go. I have these ... things, that I need to do. Before I see Sarah tonight. You know how it is ... " And another step.
"Sure," said Justin finally. It looked like he was chewing on his lower lip, and he didn't say anything more.
"So ... " said AJ, his heart pounding, panicked, looking back over his shoulder at the patio doors. "I'll, um, call you. After this weekend. You know, catch up and all."
"Right," said Justin after another awkward pause. "You do that."
AJ hesitated a moment more, then turned and fled the scene.