Scenes from a Relationship:
coitus interruptus

"Dang it, who stole my shaving cream this time?"

"Not me."

"Not me!"

"Well, I know it wasn't you, Lance. Do you even shave yet? Where's Joey?"

"He's busy."

"He's not too busy to give me my shaving cream back!"

Joey rolled his eyes and groaned, giving Dirk a quick kiss before slipping out of bed and putting his boxers on. "I'll be right back," he said, flinging the door to his hotel room open before Chris came in and ambushed them in bed. "I don't have your fucking shaving cream," he says, "and do you guys have to do this in the hallway?"

"Are you done yet?" asked JC, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall of the corridor. "Can I come back in my own room?"

"No," snapped Joey and slammed the door shut again. He hurried back to the bed and stripped naked again before getting in. "Now where were we...?"

"Take him back!" came Chris's voice through the door, followed by loud knocking. "He's boring. He doesn't want to have any fun."

"Ignore him," said Dirk with a scowl. "He'll go away sooner or later." He rolled over and straddled Joey's body, kissing and sucking at his neck. "They always go away ... eventually."

"God, I hope so," said Joey, running his hands up Dirk's sides and shifting his body so their groins were rubbing up against each other. "We haven't had any time alone since you got here."

Chris banged against the door again. "JC needs his toothbrush. Can you let him in?"

Dirk sat up and turned toward the closed door. "Only if he wants to join us," he shouted out at it. "Now fuck off."

There was blissful silence for a moment and Dirk leaned back down to suck on Joey's neck again. Joey moaned softly, his hands coming to rest heavily on Dirk's hips.

"He says he might be willing if there's a change of clothes in it for him, too!"

"Fuck off, Chris," Joey gasped out, right before Dirk's lips found his.

"Leave them alone," came Justin's voice, fainter than Chris's. "They're ... busy. Which you could be, too, if you'd just shut up once in a while."

Chris laughed. "What do you know about it, virgin-boy?"

Dirk groaned and rolled off of Joey. "This isn't working."

"Nooo," whined Joey, moaning softly. "Come back." But he knew Dirk was right and sighed in resignation. "All right. Fine. Can we at least be kissing a little when they finally break their way in here so we can traumatize the bastards."

"We can be kissing a lot when the bastards come in here uninvited," Dirk assured him. "I'd offer to be licking you, too, but I'm not up for the rejection right now. You know how you get in front of them." He sat up and stretched and Joey was captivated by the shifting of this muscles in his back for a moment. "But first, where'd I drop my fucking clothes? They don't get to see me naked."

"Here," said Joey, finally sitting up on the opposite side of the bed and reaching down to toss Dirk his tee shirt and jeans before pulling on his own pants. He didn't bother with his boxers; he couldn't remember where they were anyway. Probably rolled up in a ball somewhere with his shirt, which he also didn't spot.

He heard a couple of soft grunts from behind him and the scratch of a zipper, then felt Dirk's hand on his shoulder. "All right. We're decent. So get the hell back over here already." Joey didn't waste any time doing exactly that, especially once he felt Dirk's tongue swipe over the back of his neck.

"Are you fucking?" came Justin's timid voice, followed by a swift smack. "Ow! What'd you do that for?"

"You shouldn't say fuck." Like Chris had any room to talk. The only time he ever cleaned it up was when he thought Justin's mom might be listening, or when he sensed a camera nearby. Chris sniffed out cameras like police dogs sniffed out drugs.

"Shut up!" shouted Dirk in his best menacing growl, right before licking Joey's neck again. The incongruity between the two acts made Joey shiver. Then Dirk's teeth were sinking into Joey's shoulder blade and he moaned, glad that the voices at the door had stopped long enough for him to enjoy this.

Their respite was brief; a moment later the door swung open noisily and Justin came stumbling inside. "I swear, I was pushed," he said, before he even lifted his head. "JC pushed me and oh my god he's biting him!"

The rest of the guys certainly didn't waste any time coming inside the room for the show.

Joey couldn't help laughing in spite of his frustration, though it came out a little harshly, a little recklessly. Behind him, he was sure that Dirk was silently plotting some cruel, humiliating revenge against his bandmates. And frankly, Joey couldn't wait to do his part for it.