According to everyone they'd talked to, everything they'd read, every feel-good movie they'd ever seen, once AJ got out of rehab he would be a whole new man. Between the four of them, though, they'd all had different ideas about who that man was going to be. Careful consideration had gone into it, but in the end they'd all been wrong.

"Don't touch that," said AJ, smacking Kevin's hand as he reached for the remote control. "Every time I start watching something like this these days, one of you comes and tries to turn it off. Fuck you, anyway."

"Going into rehab wasn't supposed to change your viewing habits, AJ." He retracted his hand slowly, staring at AJ in confusion and no small bit of frustration. "In fact, I would've thought you'd want to get back to normal as much as you could."

"Just don't," AJ sighed, waving a dismissive hand in Kevin's direction as he slumped back into the couch. "Kevin ... things about me have changed, things you don't understand, things that don't really have anything to do with the drinking. Let me watch, okay? Maybe my time in rehab has let me figure some things out about myself that I wasn't ready to deal with before."

"No, maybe your time in rehab has turned you into some kind of cryptic freak," said Kevin, his frustration rising for a moment, then leveling off as he really watched the television for a moment and realized what AJ was trying to say. "Oh fuck. Please don't tell me you're -- "

"Queer?" AJ finished for him, snapping the word out loudly enough to echo off the hotel room walls. "Really, Kevin, did it take you guys this long to figure that out? Seriously? That's pretty sad, if it's true. Up late every night, watching -- "

"Very fucking funny, McLean. What are you trying to -- "

" -- X-rated movies, guys and dicks and asses and sucking, and you guys never noticed? Yeah, you're all so fucking observant, no wonder I was able to hide other things from you for so long. Zero tolerance was always nothing more than talk."