Title: An Eye for an Eye
Author: Arsenic
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/Fandom: HP/DM/SS (and sundry combinations thereof), HP
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all its properties belong to JK Rowling,
Scholastic, Bloomsbury and Warner Brothers. I intend no profit to come of this.
Summary: Harry owes Draco a Life Debt.
Warnings: This story contains a bit of BDSM. It's not what I would call
either extensive nor particularly hardcore, but if that squicks you, I'd stay
clear. Also, double penetration.
Thanks: To Kai for betaing. Any plot/grammar/characterization faults are my
own and most likely where I blithely ignored her advice to me.
This story is for Painless_J. Those of you who know her know she's
endlessly giving to fandom, and I really wanted a way to just say
"thanks." It was supposed to be short and sweet, but um. Well, it's
sort of kind of one of those. Anyway. With all my love, girl.
*
The day Harry sometimes privately called The Day I Finally Offed That Guy,
Yeah, You Know The One, had been mild, an all-around perfect Quidditch match
type of day. So too was the day Draco Malfoy came to call in Harry's Life Debt.
Harry was beginning to wonder if mild weather was a bad omen.
Harry was in between classes at the time. Later he would wonder if Malfoy had
known that, and if so, how. He was pretty sure none of his colleagues would have
given out that sort of information.
Malfoy, to his credit, had dusted off his manners for the occasion, even
going so far as to knock on the doorframe to Harry's office, despite the door
being open, and wait for Harry to turn and--after a startled pause--say, "Malfoy."
"Might I come in?"
Harry wanted to deny him. The time when that would have been acceptable,
though, was long past. He inclined his head a bit. "What did you
need?"
Malfoy slid into the room, his normal grace grating on Harry's nerves. He
shut Harry's door with a flick of his wand. Harry frowned. "I rather prefer
it open, Malfoy."
"Even eight year olds have ears," Malfoy said, as though this were
something he'd learned the hard way.
"And what is it that you have to speak to me about that is so very. .
.privileged?"
Malfoy's smile was pained. "You've become quite diplomatic."
"The parents of eight year-olds have a higher standard of communicative
delicacy than one might expect."
Malfoy nodded. "Of course."
Harry was about to prompt Malfoy again when he bit out, "Potter. That
is. I need a favor."
"Not precisely a favor between us, is it?"
"Whatever terminology suits, I need your help and I will have it."
"Yes, it would be horribly un-Slytherin of you not to claim your
debts."
"And yet-" Malfoy cut himself off. "I didn't come to
argue."
"No, you came to ask me a favor."
"Potions ingredients."
Harry could practically feel his blood stilling in his veins. "You don't
brew."
"Not as such."
"That favor then, is not for you."
"Potter-"
"Anything that you would need me to acquire for either you or him would
be something that you're probably not allowed to have for bloody good
reasons."
"First off, you sanctimonious little bugger, you well know we both
fought for your side-"
"When you felt like it," Harry scoffed.
"For your side," Malfoy stressed, "and
secondly, there are plenty of Potions ingredients which have as much power to
heal and they do to kill."
Harry took a breath and fought down the school-days urge he was having to hex
the bloody hell out of Malfoy first and ask questions later. "Heal, you
say."
Malfoy's chin went up a fraction. "Yes."
Harry knew he'd hit on the key to something, he just wasn't sure what it was.
"Are you ill?"
"Do I look ill, Potter?" Malfoy glared.
Harry glared right back. Malfoy gave in first. "They're not for
me."
"Then seeing as how my Life Debt is to you, this is really none of my
business, is it?"
"Damn you, Potter." Malfoy's words were barely able to make it past
the tensing of his lips. Harry thought there might have been tears at the corner
of his eyes, but Malfoy had turned his head slightly as if to hide his face.
"Shall I beg? Shall I beg for his life? Because despite the fact that all
you have ever known is school-era sweethearts and a couple of short-lived
affairs of the heart" he sneered the words at Harry,
"some of us know what it means to live and die for another. If you think
his life is not in anyway connected with mine, then you're a fool."
"You've always believed that."
"I was hoping, desperately, that you would prove me wrong." Malfoy
visibly composed himself and looked at Harry. His features were somehow blank
and embittered all at once. "Please," he begged, "if the debt
means anything to you, please."
Harry wondered why he'd ever thought hearing Draco Malfoy beg would make him
smile. "Take back that thing about my love life."
"For the love of- Your love life is exactly what any healthy British
wizard's, aged 29, should be. Now will you help?"
"I suppose you have a list?" Harry held out his hand. Malfoy fished
a scroll from his robe pocket and passed it to him. Harry let his eyes sweep
over the list.
Malfoy said, "He indicated where you could find everything next to the
names and amounts."
"I'd actually managed to puzzle that out without asking Hermione or
anything." Harry looked up. "I can't just give these ingredients over
to you."
"Potter-"
"I can't, Malfoy. I'd be remiss. But I will bring them to you and stay
while he brews."
"It could take months."
Harry picked up on the undercurrent of hope and desperation in Malfoy's
voice. He shut down the ache it startled out of him. "We'll work out a
schedule."
"You won't know if he utilizes them without your consent. There will be
times when you have to leave, I mean you work-"
"That's why I will personally ward his laboratory."
"It's his lab!"
Harry pressed his lips together. "And those are my conditions.
Alternately, you could come back to me with a plan for repayment that involves,
say, your life?"
Defeat was not an attractive look on Malfoy. "I'll speak to him about
it."
"You'll see that he agrees," Harry said.
Malfoy said softly, "Just find the ingredients. I'll take care of the
rest."
*
Severus' voice was deceptively casual as he asked, "Where have you
been?"
Draco hadn't been deceived in a very, very long time. "Would you like to
get a few prefatory hexes out of the way and make yourself feel better?"
"We agreed, Draco-"
"No, you decreed and I pretended to obey. When was the last time that
actually happened?"
"Last Thursday, on the issue of your vaults."
Draco sat down on the couch across from the armchair in which Severus was
perching. "If I used the tactic all the time you'd find some way to subvert
my intentions."
"Potter won't help us."
"Not in the way I had hoped," Draco admitted, because Severus'
victories--the ones that mattered, anyway--were few these days, and Draco was
loathe to deprive him of anymore.
Severus seemed to hear Draco's verbal compromise, and in turn gentled his own
voice. "You should not be sacrificing your. . .anything for me. There are
other ways."
"My pride is the least of what I would sacrifice for you, and I didn't
say he wasn't going to help."
"If he could get us even a few-"
Draco tensed. "He'll get us all the ingredients."
"Then what has you so uncharacteristically silent in victory?"
Draco reached into his robes and withdrew the contract he'd drawn up with
Potter before leaving. It was Bound between the three of them, visible to nobody
else, signed by Draco and Potter, as the Life Debt was between the two of them.
He levitated it over to Severus, who unrolled the scroll and scanned it.
"Well, you could hardly have expected anything else."
"I did save his life. With your help, as I recall."
"I killed his mentor. All things being equal, his caution isn't entirely
undue."
"I really was counting on you to help me blacken his name freely once
out of his hearing."
"Oh, he's a self-righteous, sanctimonious, boring and conceited little
imitation of a capable wizard, no doubt. But him wanting to keep an eye on
lethal potion ingredients when in the hands of someone he--perhaps not entirely
erroneously--considers an enemy isn't exactly what one could call stupid."
"You're just staying calm because you know you could poison him even
while he was watching."
"That's not a discomforting thought in all of this," Severus said
lightly.
Draco huffed a little and slid off the sofa, crossing to where Severus was.
He dropped to his knees and leaned his head on Severus' lap, slightly reassured
when Severus made no sound of pain. He didn't look up to see if Severus' lips
had tightened, or if his hands had clenched just a little more tightly to the
chair, or any of the thousand other ticks that Severus had learned to hide pain
from those who weren't looking for it. He said, "Potter is the least of
what I would face for you," knowing that Severus, who knew well what
Draco's limits were in every other area, would appreciate the comment for what
it was.
Severus' hand came down on Draco's hair as if in benediction. "I
know."
*
Much like most everything in Harry's recent life, The Dumbledore Day School
had been Hermione's idea. He had just shrugged haplessly and agreed to go along.
That was generally easier than arguing with her. Of course, at the time Harry
had been preoccupied by the brief fling he was having with Gabrielle Delacour.
He'd been filling his mental time off from that with hating how he always ended
in the papers for things that every other Auror in the corps did.
Harry had joined the corps shortly after Voldemort's death, still burning
with the need for vengeance against the Death Eaters that had left him with
nightmares. That drive, twisted in with his inertia, had floated him straight
into the job and kept him there for nearly six years. He hadn't even noticed how
much getting up in the morning had become something he just did until Hermione
had dragged him out of that life.
Hermione for her part, was busy voicing rhetoric about the harm caused by
waiting until muggle-born children were eleven to integrate them into magical
society. Her devotion coupled with his frustration combined to make Harry easy
to convince--not that he'd ever regretted it.
The Dumbledore Day School was the first isle-based grade-age school that
taught magical history, culture and basics and was open to all
magically-inclined children. Hermione was the public face of the school, as well
as running most of its administrative needs. She'd left the relative cushiness
of Hogwarts, a position as Head of Gryffindor House and next in line for Deputy
Headmistress to start the school, but Harry didn't think she regretted it
either.
Ron was a silent partner. He'd made a considerable amount of money as the
head coach of the Wasps, leading them to three straights Wizarding Cup titles.
Hermione hadn't even tried to guilt him into leaving that. Harry'd thought that
if Ron hadn't known just a little that she still loved him despite the break up,
he should have known then.
Harry and Hermione had pooled together their resources, hired a couple of
teachers, mostly muggle-borns, and put together a school. It had been a hit from
their first day open. Harry liked to pretend that had nothing to do with the
fact of his name being attached to it.
Usually in the evenings, after all the kids had gone home, Harry would
surreptitiously move into Hermione's office, or vice versa, and the two of them
would work together until either Harry or Hermione pushed the other to go home.
This hadn't been happening as much over the last few months, as Neville had
recently been coming around and asking Hermione things like, "Are you
hungry?"
Harry was loathe to get in the way of that.
He couldn't help floating into Hermione's office after Malfoy had shown,
though, asking, "Have a moment?"
She put down her quill. "Feels like I haven't seen you in a while."
"How's Neville?"
Hermione smiled. "Am I being one of those friends who completely ignores
the people who really matter the minute someone notices she's a girl?"
Harry edged his way inside. "Is that it? Or is it that Ron's dating his
star chaser?"
"Mostly it's that Neville doesn't seem to care when I have other
priorities. Although I did check to make sure the latter wasn't an issue."
"Yes?"
"Of all of us, I've always been the one to watch out for Neville's
feelings."
"Right."
"And I should point out that he doesn't need that from me anymore."
Harry smiled at that. "He holds his own."
"Sit down and tell me what you came in here to talk to me about."
Harry sat. "There's a possibility I did something incredibly stupid
today."
"I counted, all the children went home with all their limbs."
"Not with the school."
Hermione tilted her head. "Would this have anything to do with the fact
that Draco Malfoy showed up on the school's visitor logs today?"
"That's a brilliant spell," Harry said. Hermione's visitor logs
worked on the same principle as the Marauders Map had, telling her everyone who
made their way onto the school's property. Harry wasn't entirely sure how she'd
figured out the magic necessary or how it worked so unfailingly, but it tended
to keep them out of trouble more times than not. "You saw him and you
didn't come to check the situation out?"
"What, you couldn't have handled him on your own?"
"Good point."
"He came about the Life Debt?"
Harry passed Hermione the scroll Malfoy had left with him. "Look at that
list, tell me what you think."
Hermione glanced cursorily over the parchment. "That I know why he came
to you. Even if he and Snape weren't on a restricted buying basis, a lot of
these need something like an Auror's license to procure."
Part of the condition of Snape and Malfoy's freedom had been a type of parole
limiting not only their movement but their actions. "Do the ingredients
mean anything to you? I mean, other than the obvious?"
"That Malfoy intends to poison the entirety of the isles and rule as
lord in the absence of anything sentient?"
"Slightly foolish plan, but Malfoy's never been a strategizing
genius."
"Or there's the possibility that one of them is dying of the Dark
Legacy. Snape, more likely, if Malfoy had the energy to come here and ask."
"Dark Legacy?"
"Extremely rare. Only happens when someone has been exposed to curses
over years and years of time. Very few people actually survive long enough for
the build up of Dark magic flooding their system to form. . .pathogens, for lack
of a better term. Those pathogens then begin their destruction by eroding at
muscle and bone, working their way up to poisoning the bloodstream. It's a long,
painful way to die."
Harry thought about the flashes of vision, the spikes of pain in his scar
when one of Voldemort's Death Eaters had failed him. "Snape was more likely
to be exposed to that sort of prolonged contact with the Dark."
Hermione made a face. "Unless Lucius. . ."
Harry remembered the things Dumbledore had spoken of so forcefully to Malfoy
in those last moments of his life. "I don't think so. For all of Lucius
Malfoy's faults, Draco honestly loved his father."
"As I said, Snape's the far more likely candidate in any case."
Harry cast his eyes toward the piece of parchment Hermione still held in her
hands. "And you think that's to help lessen the symptoms?"
"No, I think this is the one cure available. Nearly impossible to brew
but then, not everybody is Severus Snape. Or has access to these
ingredients."
"Are you sure?"
"No, not in the least. The only reason I even know at all about Dark
Legacy was because I read everything there was to read on long-term curse
affectations after we- Malfoy, well after."
The feel of rope splinters digging into every inch of his skin and the slow
dripping, rolling warmth of his own blood washed over Harry even at Hermione's
not-quite mention of Malfoy's rescue. Suddenly, he couldn't help but think he
shouldn't have given Malfoy such a hard time earlier.
Hermione was still speaking. "I only found it in one source that I had
to beg Madam Pince to hand over. The discussion on cures was pretty scanty, but
really, this isn't the type of list one forgets."
Well, not if the "one" being spoken of was Hermione. Harry rubbed
at the back of his neck, uncomfortable with having this knowledge, particularly
given the way the meeting had gone that morning. "It's Snape. And Malfoy
was. . .desperate."
Hermione bit at her lower lip. "Well, for what it's worth, I don't think
you did something you shouldn't have. You do have a Life Debt to him, I suppose
there are worse things he could have asked. I'm assuming you put some sort of
restrictions on the brewing?"
Harry handed her over the contract. She scanned it and nodded. "A life
for a life."
"Not Malfoy's."
Hermione looked at Harry. "Sometimes the symmetry of things is less
obvious than we'd prefer it to be."
*
Malfoy answered the door at Harry's knock. "Took your time, you
did."
"You weren't asking for rosemary and clover, Malfoy. There were other
countries involved."
"I happen to know you can Apparate. The Ministry's pretty insistent
about that in their Aurors."
"Draco."
Harry stiffened at the third voice entering into the conversation.
Malfoy looked back over his shoulder. Snape said, "Are you going to
invite our guest in, or not?"
"He's not our guest," Malfoy said, but he stepped aside to allow
Harry in anyway. Harry took the invitation as it was, figuring it was the best
he was going to get.
Harry held out a large box of assorted ingredients. "Professor."
Snape took the box. "Potter."
Harry followed as the two men walked into a sitting room. Snape handed the
box to Malfoy who set it on a table and went through each of the potions
bottles, holding them up for Snape's inspection. Harry noticed the way Snape
held himself. He had always had a sort of tight, regal bearing, but now it was
as though he didn't trust his muscles to return to a standard position if he let
them one quarter of an inch from that holding. Harry said, "Dark Legacy. Is
it?"
Snape tilted his head slightly, ever so slightly, and even that caused him to
clench his jaw. When he relaxed it enough to affect speech, he sneered,
"Been speaking with Miss Granger about things that don't concern her once
again, have you?"
"She's generally able to tell me whether I've made a mistake or not. And
your catamite didn't place a discretionary clause in the contract."
"Been reading a little something to titillate yourself, Potter? Or does
Weasley just use big words when talking dirty to you?" Malfoy spat.
"My lover's name is Draco. Malfoy, if you
insist." Snape's eyes were no less lethal for the physical pain reflected
in them.
"Yes," Draco hissed, more sibilant than Harry had ever once felt in
all his talks with snakes. "Yes, it is the Dark Legacy. No doubt you feel
that we deserve this, but tragically, you owe me."
Harry bit out, "No doubt."
"Some awfully high quality products there for someone who feels that
way," Snape observed, almost lightly. Almost.
"I pay my debts."
"It's nearly more painful than the disease slowly eating my body to
suddenly find we have something in common, Mr. Potter."
Draco sneered, "Calm yourself, he only pays if he finds the price to his
liking."
Snape opened his mouth, but whatever he was about to say was lost as he
clamped his mouth shut in what seemed like a wave of overwhelming agony. The
lines at the corner of his mouth were the only sign, but Harry had known Snape a
long time. That didn't mean anything about the intensity of the attack. When he
opened his mouth again it was to say, "If you have the time, Mr. Potter, I
should like to begin brewing now."
Harry had paperwork waiting for him to sign. He had a call to make to Ron. He
had a fantastic plate of biscuits that the new teacher--who possibly had a crush
on him--had made and brought into school. All these things and more were waiting
for him at home. He said, "I've some time."
*
Harry's experience as an Auror had cemented the difference between thinking
he wanted something and the reality of that something. His career had been
comprised of capture after capture after capture of fleeing Death Eaters. Not
once had knowing that they were safely locked away helped Harry to take a night
off from worrying about what else he should be doing.
Watching Snape move slowly from cauldron to cauldron, his breath dry and
rasping was similar in its surprising emptiness. Harry didn't even particularly
want to make fun of him for things he obviously couldn't help. It should have
made Harry feel better about himself. He was, unquestionably, the better man.
Somehow, when Malfoy poked his head into the lab, grey eyes disturbingly soft
with consideration and asked, "Want to stop for some tea?" Harry
didn't really feel all that superior.
Snape said, "Another hour, Draco."
"You've been in here three and you-" but Malfoy stopped as Snape
took one look in Harry's direction. "All right. Call if you need me."
Harry snorted, because Malfoy wasn't in inhuman amounts of pain and he could
do so without feeling completely villainous. Malfoy just turned from the room
and left. Without looking at Harry, Snape said, "I would almost feel sorry
for you." He didn't elaborate, and Harry didn't ask. His own ideas about
what Snape might mean were more than enough to set him ill at ease.
An hour later, Malfoy came in and said, "Severus. Tea."
Snape had looked about to argue, but something in Malfoy's stance had
dissuaded him. He went to the task of putting things into a proper resting mode
and left the room. Malfoy followed, only a hint of hesitation in his step.
Harry, feeling like he was falling into Snape's pensieve all over again, warded
the room and every single one of the ingredients in it.
Neither Snape nor Malfoy had invited him to share in the tea, and Harry
couldn't imagine he'd enjoy less, so he let himself out of the house and
Apparated back to his place. There wasn't any young boy-toy of a lover waiting
for him (or any older partner, whom he could go to for advice and support) but
there was a plate of biscuits and enough paperwork to transfigure a palace from,
and that was enough for Harry.
He worked doggedly at the never-ending scrolls of bureaucracy that the school
engendered until exhaustion became a living, breathing predator hunting him down
where he sat. Harry crawled to his bed and hoped that when it caught up with
him, it would be kind.
It wasn't.
*
"He's a self-righteous, moronic wanker," Draco said. His own
rhetoric was desperate attempt at stoking the anger inside him. Anything would
do if it could overwhelm the desperation he felt at Severus' inability to finish
a single cup of tea.
"Did you want me to agree, or are you spoiling for some type of
fight?"
If make-up sex had been on offer the way it would have been not even a year
ago, Draco certainly would have taken the latter option. It wasn't, though. Oh,
Severus would have sex with him if Draco asked, or even intimated, but he'd bite
his lips the entire time to hold back screams, and not of the type Draco liked
to inspire. Unless he was doing so deliberately. "You could remind me how
miserably he failed at his remedial potions lessons, just as
I was getting good."
"Ah." Severus smiled lightly. "You want your ego stroked,
then? Worried about something?"
Lots of things, but most of them had nothing to do with Harry Potter. Severus
tried another sip of the tea, grimacing either at the nausea that followed or at
the sting of its journey down. Or both. Draco knew how to read him reasonably
well but even after twelve years there were certainty subtleties he would always
miss. His need to unravel those mysteries was one of the things that kept him
with Severus. One of the considerably less important things.
Severus asked, "If you feel that way, why did you save him?"
"You know why I saved him. I've told you."
"Mm. I know that your dislike of humiliation and torture nearly rivals
mine. I know that your stomach for the actuality of inflicted pain and death is
nearly non-existent. I don't know why you didn't just make sure it was done by
someone else. You didn't seem to have much of a problem regarding Albus."
Severus' voice went sharp.
Draco knew that there were some things that would never be forgiven between
them, even if the Dumbledore thing hadn't been entirely his fault, even if
Severus wasn't in fact greatly relieved that it had been himself and not Draco
forced to end the old man's life. "He was always going to be testing me. It
would never be over. Not until I finally screwed up and-" Draco knew that
Severus would understand his shift in pronouns. "With Potter I figured he'd
get them to at least leave me alone. Leave us alone."
And, despite all his other problems with Potter, Draco could admit that he
had done that much, that Severus and his freedom to travel might be severely
curtailed, that they might have to find alternate ways of purchasing items they
desired, that the magic they could perform might be restricted, but they weren't
constantly called on to justify themselves or their way of living. For the most
part, people left them alone. In that, Draco had made the right decision.
Knowing the answer, knowing that it hurt Severus to talk now, knowing that he
needed to hear him say the words anyway, Draco asked, "Why did you
help?"
Severus tried another sip of the tea. "Because you asked."
*
Harry brought paperwork the next night. Malfoy answered the door with
unwarranted casualness, and asked, "What, not afraid he might try something
while you're not looking?"
"If he's going to try something, he'll try it while I am looking,"
Harry said.
Severus, standing behind Malfoy in the hallway said, "Do not delude
yourself for a moment that you would catch me either, Mr. Potter."
Harry wondered if the addition of the mister in front of his name meant
anything or if Snape was just screwing with his mind. Probably the latter, given
their history. "If you say so. I'd like to get started. I have a job I
actually have to show up to in the morning."
"Neither Severus nor I is to blame for the fact that you are
constitutionally incapable of telling Granger no."
"What, no name-calling this evening?" Harry asked sweetly.
"Your kind make it too easy," Malfoy told him before turning to
Snape. "Do you need anything?"
Snape neither said anything nor moved, but there must have been some sort of
understanding between the two of them, as Malfoy nodded and went off to parts
unseen.
Harry told himself he didn't envy them. He had relationships of his own that
were strong enough to allow for silent communication. Hermione and Ron, for one.
And that sort of friendship wasn't something he saw either Snape or Malfoy
claiming.
Harry followed Snape to the laboratory. The pace was excruciating but Harry
kept quiet about it. He'd kicked the injured puppy enough already in this
particular case and he knew it. When he could help Snape, he planned on doing
so. Once they were there, Harry undid the wards with a thought, carefully
keeping his mind opaque. He didn't much think Snape would try and peek--in
Harry's experience the man usually saved moves like that for when he was
desperate--but it never hurt to be cautious.
Snape looked at the door to his labs and then Harry said, "Oh, you can
go in."
Snape turned his head then, despite the fact that it was obviously a painful
action to effect. He looked like he would say something for a moment before he
turned his head back and pushed the door open. "Guests first," he said
dryly.
Harry wondered for a moment if it was a test of some sort, to see if Harry
was willing to turn his back on Snape. Sixteen was a long ways in his past, and
Harry was relatively sure that even at his best Snape couldn't overpower him,
physically or magically. Snape certainly wasn't at his best. He went ahead into
the laboratory. "I'm good with wards." They made Harry feel safe. He
didn't say that aloud.
Surprisingly, Snape didn't follow up Harry's simple statement of confidence
with a remark designed to deconstruct whatever good opinion Harry had scrounged
up for himself.
Harry settled himself in a corner where he could do paperwork without
disturbing Snape or vice versa. He was surprised, to say the least, when Snape
spoke to him. "I realize that Draco and you drew up a contract around the
terms of your willingness to supply us with grade A toxins."
Harry looked up, but didn't say anything. Snape, as Harry had guessed he
would, continued. "If you're magically adept enough to maintain wandless,
speechless wards, I would imagine you could specify them to a certain area of
the lab. Or is that beyond your capabilities?"
"Do you always bait people you're about to ask favors of?" Harry
shook his head. "Nevermind, stupid question. Yes, I can specify the area.
Why would I?"
"Potion making is my profession, in case you were unaware. Without
access to the labs-"
"Draco's inheritance was largely untouched by the fines the Ministry
leveled at the two of you."
"As it so happens, Potter, I'm not a kept man."
"He probably wishes you'd let yourself be, the way you're feeling."
"Occasionally Draco's wishes have to be irrelevant, or he would amok
with them." Snape was silent for a moment. "And there is the fact that
I cannot brew basic symptom-alleviating potions while you're not here and not
having the time while you are here."
"I'll change the wards."
Snape didn't say thank you.
*
Draco answered the door for Potter the third night. "Severus is waiting
by the labs."
Potter stepped inside. "I've noticed it's. . .his mobility is
impaired."
"He's managing just fine, Potter."
Potter closed the door behind himself and headed inside. Draco figured
himself rid of him and went to go find things to do. It was never fun, leaving
Severus to Potter's tender mercies. Not that he didn't trust Severus to take
care of himself. At his best, Severus could wipe the floor with Draco and Draco
well knew it. Severus wasn't at his best, not even nearly.
Draco didn't trust Potter.
Potter stopped. "Malfoy."
Draco sighed. He wasn't in the mood to expend energy on Potter. Not that he
ever really was. "Potter."
"I shouldn't have made this so difficult."
Draco stiffened. "We don't need your pity."
"Look, just because you can never admit that you're wrong doesn't mean
we all have that character flaw."
"My entire life is an admission of wrong-doing. Yours, on the other
hand, is a celebration of all things you. Let's consider how ridiculous I find
your last statement for a short moment."
Potter closed his eyes. When he opened them there were shadows that Draco
didn't want to see. He said, "I'm saying sorry, Malfoy. Does that make it
easier to accept, if I actually say the words?"
Draco knew an advantage when he saw one. "How sorry?"
Potter, for all his other faults, wasn't naïve. "Depends on what you're
wanting. I've already bent on shifting the wards and I've come over every single
night. Most nights I'm lucky if I get a chance to-" Potter bit off whatever
it was he wasn't getting around to. "What did you want?"
"For you to come over an hour earlier."
"Malfoy-"
"He tires easily. By the time you leave in the evenings-"
"I've suggested countless times that we stop earlier."
"He doesn't have forever, Potter! It's a bad enough situation, having to
brew the potion in pieces like you're requiring of him."
Potter tilted his head. "An hour earlier?"
Draco thought about what Potter might not have been saying before. He was
tempted to use Legilimency, but word had it Potter had improved his Occlumency
and wasn't very keen on having anyone steal inside his private mental sanctum.
"If there's something that we can provide to make it. . . Appearances
aside, I know how to compromise."
Potter nodded slightly. "You came to me. For him. I was less than
gracious, I realize. With good reason, but, less than gracious. All the same,
that was pretty human of you. And since you're asking, I haven’t had time to
eat."
"Food. That’s doable." Draco laughed a bit, reassured that Potter
wasn't going to make this any more difficult than it already was.
"Then you have your hour." Potter took a step down the hall.
"He's probably waiting."
"Yeah," Draco said. He watched Potter walk away and made himself
not follow, not watch after Severus. Despite the fact that Draco felt it only
proper he return the favor, Severus disagreed, and Draco tended to try and
respect that. He'd gone to Potter because, blithely cruel or no, Potter was too
bloody Gryffindor to purposely cause harm. He could trust Severus in his
presence, even now.
He could.
*
Hermione knocked at the frame of the door to Harry's office. Harry looked up
and she smiled. "I should introduce myself, it's been a while. I'm-"
"Oh, shut it."
Hermione laughed and walked in the office to take a seat. "Neville and I
were wondering if you'd maybe join us for dinner."
"If I tell you that I really can't are you going to think I'm throwing
you over for Snape and Malfoy?"
"Well, no, but I am going to start sniffing around for a confundus or
two."
"Somehow I suspect I'd be less frustrated with the situation if I were
being magically compelled into doing the bidding of my two least favorite
still-living people."
"We had to kill off quite a few people to make that statement
feasible."
"Hermione."
Hermione spread her hands. "Only making a point."
"You're supposed to be on my side in this." Harry pouted.
"When did there suddenly become sides? And what do I get for my support
of either one?"
"It's behavior like this that makes people like Neville ask you out on
dates," Harry said.
Hermione grinned. "I was trying to pinpoint the cause so I could make
sure to keep it up."
"Hermione," Harry said with a hint of exasperation. "Can't you
just make the point you came in here to make and go?"
"I came in here to ask you to dinner, so that point's pretty much done
and over with. But the point I've progressed to is this: I think perhaps letting
go of some of your more overdetermined opinions about Snape and Malfoy might not
be a bad plan. It might make this easier on you. Maybe."
Harry ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure what exists underneath
all that."
"Mightn't it be worth figuring out?" Hermione tilted her head.
"I'm not saying you have to like them. I'm not even saying you have to not
end up at the exact place you're at right at this very moment. I'm just. . .holy
hell Harry, don't you have enough to worry about without psyching yourself up
every single evening to go over there for hours and hours? Are you even sleeping
when you manage to get home, or are you just spending time trying to get
yourself back from wherever you go in order to deal with things?"
Harry avoided the question. "Have I, or have I not been helpful this
last week?"
"Harry." Hermione frowned. "I'm concerned about you, not
trying to tell you off for negligence toward your duties."
Harry had been the one that the Death Eaters had captured. He'd been the one
that they'd tied up in ropes meant to tear at his flesh and then Cursed so that
he would move, either in reactionary pain or to avoid the Curse. He'd been the
one that they took Charmed knives to, and the one they had taunted with mind
manipulations that his newly-developed Occlumency couldn't guard against.
Malfoy had been the one to rescue him, but Hermione and Ron had been the
people to build Harry back up into someone with the ability to kill a Dark Lord.
The two of them had nursed him, and called him back from nightmares. When he
wouldn't come, they had held him through them. She had a right to worry about
him, and Harry knew it. He still hated knowing that he was worrying her.
"You only sometimes tell me when I'm leaving you all by yourself."
"I tell you when I need you. This isn't like that. This is about
you."
"There are certain things a person has to believe about the world."
Hermione made a sound. "Look, why don't I bring something back from the
restaurant? I'll bring it over to your place later this evening and we can spend
some time together."
Harry shook his head. "I don't get back until late. You and Neville
don't-"
"When we want to, we do. I can beg off a night. He isn't, y'know,
degenerating from a magical ailment. And I don't care that it's late."
Harry smiled, he couldn't help it. "All right. They feed me though. So
maybe some treacle, or ladyfingers."
Hermione stood. "Surely. I'll see you then."
Harry looked down at his desk and tried to remember what he'd been doing when
she'd come in to visit.
*
Draco always made sure that the dinners they provided for Potter were the
most decadent he could possibly conjure. Severus finally asked, "Are you
trying to impress him, or intimidate him?"
"What good is an act if it can't do both at once?"
Severus narrowed his eyes. "If I didn't know you better, I would think
you cared what he thought of us."
Draco tensed and practically flung the words, "He made me
beg, he should feel intimidated," at
Severus.
Severus tensed in his own right, something that had both him and Draco
wincing the next moment, Draco in sympathy. "You can hardly blame him
because you did something you should never have done."
Draco rolled his eyes. "You're welcome. I didn't have to think about it,
not even for a second."
"Draco-"
"You killed your mentor for me. And you know I don't like it when you
make me bring that up as a weapon."
"You wouldn't have to if you had any skill at these verbal games
whatsoever." Severus sniffed delicately.
"Well, you do have skills and you still push me to it."
"Maybe I like the pain."
"You do, just not that sort." Nor the sort you're
in, Draco didn't say.
"Indelicate, Mr. Malfoy."
"Yes, I think we've established that I'm never going to be half the
smooth-spoken sophisticate that my father was."
Severus' voice was sharp, "You have other gifts."
"And quite a lot of good they're doing us now, isn't it?" Draco
knew himself to be one of the top minds in the world when it came to the
creation of defenses against curses and hexes. This was possibly due to the fact
that he'd been raised on that sort of magic, and had always innately sensed that
he would eventually need to protect himself against it. Or it could just have
been because he was brilliant. Draco preferred to tell people it was the latter.
"There are people who would be willing to have you on as a freelance
consultant if you could just swallow your pride long enough to actually work
with them."
"Weasley's breed plague," Draco told Severus with the utmost
seriousness, thinking of the last lucrative consultation offer he'd been sent.
After Draco torn Potter away from a still-horcrux-protected
Tom (Draco always spat the word mentally) he'd had few
choices of where to go. It was between disappearing completely and leaving
Severus behind--which really wasn't any sort of choice--or fighting for
McGonagall. Taking the latter option left most of the Order knowing just how
good he was at building protection spells. This meant, of course, that most of
the offers levied at him came from either ex-Order members, or family of
ex-Order members, the Weasley twins being no exception. In fact, they tended to
be the most persistent, and their offers the most tempting. That truth didn't
mean that Draco thought about taking them, or anything.
"Draco, if this doesn't work-"
"It'll work." Draco normally tended more toward the realist end of
the scale than the optimist one, but there were some thoughts he simply could
not afford to have.
"You will need connections. You should have them now, but so long as
I've been around I've been remiss in-"
"I'm an adult, Severus. If I wish to be remiss, than
I shall be, and you'll have nothing to do with it."
"Draco!" Severus said the word as loudly as he could. "If you
won’t listen to me for you then do it for me."
Draco blinked. "For you." That was something Severus had never
asked in all their years together. Not even when Draco was seventeen and just
wanted Severus so keenly. Severus had waited, not using that desire against him.
Severus had waited until the end of the war, when he was supposed to have been
dead, making all of it a moot point. He had waited for Draco to come to his
senses, waited for a million things that had never come to him. Draco, all
intent and Malfoy self-assuredness, had come instead.
"Draco, I can't continue like this. Being terrified of what will happen
to you if my brewing doesn't succeed. It's one more thing."
"And my taking the job offer would help?"
"It's something. Just as Potter's presence, if used correctly, is
something. You know better than not to use what you've been given."
Draco did know better, that was the worst part of this all. "I'll think
about it."
Severus quirked one side of his mouth. That was the best he could do for a
smile these days, but they both knew what it meant. Severus, as usual, had won.
*
Harry attended all of the Wasp's games, no exceptions. Unlike the Quidditch
World Cup, most of the regular season games took place during weekend
afternoons, as a pitch took quite a bit of magical energy to light for as long
as certain matches could last. Harry had never been so profoundly grateful for
that fact as he was now, when it didn't interfere with The Brewing Schedule.
Harry wasn't sure which conversation would be less fun: explaining to Ron that
he couldn't make a game because he was helping Voldemort's spawn, or explaining
to Malfoy and Snape that he couldn't help them with their pesky fatal disease
problem because he had a quidditch match to attend.
All in all, that was something he wanted to avoid entirely.
Harry showed up for the game on Sunday afternoon. It was against the
Falcon's, who were rebuilding after having four players retire the previous
year, and Harry wasn't expecting much of a match. All the same, the Wasp's
keeper played with a perfect artistry and their beaters were good fun to watch,
so Harry always enjoyed himself at the match.
Harry made his way down to the locker rooms afterward and sought out Ron. He
found him talking with Violet, the star chaser that Ron had picked up for the
team last season and for himself some time shortly after the last World Cup.
"Hello, Vi," Harry said.
She smiled in greeting. Violet was nothing at all like Hermione, which Harry
thought was pretty healthy. "If it isn't Harry Potter. What's a nice bloke
like you doing at a sure thing like this?"
Harry shrugged. "The tickets were free."
Ron made a disgusted sound. "You, mate, once loved this game the way it
is meant to be loved."
Harry still did but he got enough unwanted attention just tying his shoes in
the morning without having to expose himself to international athletic stardom.
Ron knew this, so Harry ignored him. "That was a good goal, for the thirty,
Vi. You were flying pretty today."
Ron said, "I don't need you flirting up my girlfriend, Harry. Or driving
my team to overconfidence."
"Just for that, I'm stiffing you with the tea bill. Violet, you wanna
join?"
"Thanks, Harry, but the team's going out for something a little harder'n
that, and I think that's where my heart lies at the moment." She turned
slightly to kiss Ron--even at five foot eight, she had to lean up to do it--and
said, "Your place, later?"
"Unless you want-"
"Nah," Violet gave a quick shake of her close-cropped blond spikes,
"the flatmate's back in town."
Ron grinned. "See you then. Have something girly for me."
"Piss off," Violet said with a laugh, and ran off to catch up with
her teammates. Violet, who was the biggest tomboy Harry had ever met, didn't
drink anything but girly drinks. This was a source of endless
amusement to Ron, who was a die-hard butterbeer aficionado, and really had
absolutely no room to laugh.
Harry and Ron chatted about the game while they were heading over to the
local pub that served a pretty decent afternoon tea. Ron was worried about his
seeker. The man had been injured toward the end of the previous season and they
were having trouble getting him back up to snuff. Harry tossed off some pointers
and Ron said, "Thanks."
When they were seated, Harry looked across the table. "Your note said
there was something you wanted to talk about."
"Right, I mean, I know we always go out afterward anyhow, but I wanted
to make sure you weren't busy."
Harry was silent for a second. "Why would I be busy?"
"Dunno, Hermione mentioned something about you having a lot on your
plate."
"It's that time of year."
"Yeah. No, what I wanted. . . Did you know that the twins offered Draco
Malfoy a job?"
Harry frowned. "Doing what?"
"Placing intention barriers on their products. I think that's fancy
speak for trying to make sure the stuff doesn't get into the wrong hands, like
it always seems to do."
"And they asked Malfoy."
"Who turned them down and then came back to them after four months and
asked if the deal was still on offer."
The tea service came and Harry distracted himself by pouring a couple of cups
out and grabbing a finger sandwich. "Did the twins say what Malfoy's job
package included?"
"Flexible hours, freedom to pursue the projects he felt would be most
productive, a pretty mind-blowing salary, their resources."
Harry lifted his head from his cup. "All their resources?"
"Well, he can only use the ones that are on the restricted list under
their supervision."
Harry took another sip. "I wish I had something to tell you. Maybe it's
just the money."
"He's got money," Ron said, surprisingly darkly, given that Ron did
as well now.
"You're worried?"
Ron looked surprised. "Shouldn't I be?"
It disturbed Harry how long it took him to formulate an answer. "The
twins are pretty good at looking out for themselves."
"Well, yeah. With the three of them working together, it's everyone else
in the bloody world I have reason to be concerned about."
Harry thought that was true even minus the Draco presence, not that that
helped anything. "I'll uh. . .see what I can find out."
Ron snickered. "Still have inside sources, eh?"
Harry sighed. He hated not telling his best friend anything but he wasn't in
the mood to hear Ron yelling at him, nor to have to wait for Ron to come around
and understand why he made the decision to stay silent so long. Also, he wasn't
entirely sure Ron would keep the secret; it wasn't Harry's
secret, which had always been the determining factor before. Harry wasn't sure
why it should matter that it stayed secret, but somehow it just did.
"Something like that."
*
Malfoy was generally around while Harry ate. Harry couldn't always see him,
but in the same way that Dumbledore had once been able to find Harry underneath
a cloak of invisibility, it didn't take visual signs for Harry to know when
someone was nearby. And there was no mistaking Snape for Malfoy; the two had
completely different magical signatures.
He couldn't see Malfoy, so Harry called out, "Have a moment?"
Malfoy sauntered into the dining area from one of the adjacent rooms.
"Bored, Potter?"
Harry put the quill he'd been marking papers with down. He was, but Malfoy
wasn't exactly his idea of a good time any more than the papers to his side
were. "Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes."
"My, my. Good news does travel fast."
"We're a tight knit group."
"They offered me a job. I accepted. I checked, it's entirely within the
limits of what I'm allowed to do."
"I was more interested in why you suddenly wanted to."
Malfoy smirked. "Boredom."
Harry knew a lie when he saw one, but he also knew when he wasn't going to
get the truth. "All right."
Surprisingly, Malfoy sat down at the table. He stared at Harry for a while,
but Harry was used to being stared at by people who did and did not like him.
Malfoy wasn't any different. Finally Malfoy asked, "Why'd you leave the
corps for such a dreary job?"
"I like my job," Harry said. He liked parts of it. Enough of it for
the statement to be mostly truth.
"You were a good Auror."
When Harry looked up, Malfoy was regarding him quizzically, as though both
the fact of Harry's success and his turning away from it were complete mysteries
to him. Perhaps they were. Not many people understood Harry, not even when Harry
went through the trouble to explain. "I'm a good teacher, too. And kids
worship their teachers so it's not out of place that they look at me with big
eyes. They look at Hermione and Douglas and Cressida that way as well. And the
glamour of a school wears off, so every once in a while we'll get a reporter
sniffing around for something, but most of the time they get discouraged and
slink off."
"One would think you'd simply learn how to take advantage of the acclaim
and get on with things." Malfoy's voice was surprisingly edgeless.
Harry rolled his neck tiredly. "I suppose that depends on one's point of
view."
After a stretch of silence in which Harry ate and Malfoy stared some more,
Malfoy said, "You could. . .we have extra beds."
Harry's eyes flew to Malfoy. "Sorry?"
"You can't be sleeping much."
"I-" Harry looked away. "Thanks, truly, but no."
Malfoy's lips set in a nasty twist. "Afraid we might try something on
your poor, defenseless, sleeping self?"
"You really think it's that easy to sneak up on me? Even when I'm
sleeping?" Harry twisted his own lips in challenge. Then he relaxed them.
"It takes me a long time to feel comfortable in a place. I can't sleep
until I get to that point. I moved into the flat I'm currently in nearly six
years ago when I started with the school and I'm just now getting to the point
where I can pull a straight eight hours given the chance."
"There are potions for that sort of thing."
"Snape's never given you his 'masking the symptoms' lecture?"
"Too many times to count. I'm surprised to hear you've heard it,
though."
"When. . .when we all had to work together, I would steal sleeping
potions from him in small acts of revenge to fend off the desire to, erm, carry
out larger acts of revenge."
"And he lectured you?"
"Lecture's a kind word. I still have the scars, I don't know about
him."
"But you listened anyway?"
"He," Harry tapped his finger against the table, thinking of the
right word, "said some things worth listening to."
Malfoy sat for a few seconds before his eyes widened. "He let you in his
head?"
"Without boundaries."
Malfoy's exclamation was a slow, shocked drawl. "Salazar bloody
Slytherin."
Harry found himself grinning.
"No wonder the two of you aren't at each other's throats anymore."
"Don't start making it out like we like each other."
Malfoy laughed, a real, amused laugh.
"Malfoy," Harry said softly.
"Yes, Potter?"
"Thanks for the offer. Really."
"Consider it open," Malfoy said, and stood up to return to his
regularly scheduled prowling.
*
There were times when Snape would stop, just stop and stand there. At first
Harry hadn't understood. Then he realized that it was Snape's way of riding out
the worst of the pain. An offer to call Draco had earned him the worst glare
he'd ever received. Glares didn't so much bother Harry, mostly thanks to Snape's
training, but that one had warned him off.
Since then Harry had only been paying marginal attention to Snape's actions
in the labs. Snape's life was on the line, it wasn't very logical for him to
betray their agreement, and Snape had a type of logic when it came to
self-preservation
As such, it wasn't until Harry tuned in one evening and noticed that Snape
had been standing still for far longer than usual that he stuttered, "Can
I- Is there a potion?"
Snape didn't respond. He did not so much as twitch an eyelash. Harry touched
his hand to his throat and the words, "Malfoy, come," echoed through
the entirety of the house. Harry heard the crack of Malfoy's arrival just
outside the door and knew that the younger man hadn't even bothered with
running. The hallways in the house were open to in-house Apparition, but not the
rooms themselves. A small precaution, and Harry had once or twice wondered how
the compromise had been reached.
Snape wasn't even glaring at Harry. Harry swallowed back the nausea that
realization induced.
"Accio non-verminis," Malfoy said, his voice
straining in an effort to affect calm. He held out a hand and a vermillion
colored bottle glided into it. He unstoppered the bottle and then worked his
hand gently at Snape's jaw. "Severus. Open your mouth."
Snape made a sound that was nothing more than a breath. Malfoy said, "I
know. Please," and kept rubbing at Snape's jaw.
Snape managed to release his jaw a fraction and Malfoy tipped several drops
of the potion into Snape's mouth. The hand that was not holding the bottle never
ceased in rubbing at the other man's jaw. Finally, finally, Snape slumped
forward against Malfoy. It wasn't precisely an encouraging motion, but it was
motion, and that was something.
Malfoy said, "If you can make it to the hall I can side-along us to the
bedroom."
Snape mumbled something Harry couldn't understand. Malfoy shook his head.
"I know, but you can't. . .you can barely speak. The potion must be
properly brewed."
Snape said something else and Malfoy looked near to tears. The thought made
Harry taste the word Septumsempra, bitter and coppery. He
said, "Snape. Can you open your mind just enough for me to access the
process?"
Snape's eyes met Harry's. Harry said, "Malfoy and I can brew. You taught
us, you know we can. I never did so well as when I was following your written
instructions, and you're in no condition to yell at me, so this will be a bit
like that."
With shocking suddenness, Harry felt a burst of amusement in his head that
was clearly not his own. The amusement was tinged with sarcasm and pain and
Harry said, "All right. Good."
Malfoy put his forehead up against Snape's lightly, so lightly, and Harry
couldn't help feeling the love that passed between the two
men in the instant of contact, more powerful than the pain, more powerful than
the tenderness.
Inside Harry's head, the sensation was a bit like having a glass shatter from
the center of his chest. Envy had never felt that way before in him, never been
quite so sharp, and Harry decided he'd think up a new word for it later. One a
bit less revealing.
Malfoy helped Snape to a seat and the pain was nearly sickening. Harry
dampened the connection between the two of them, aware that Snape probably had
no idea just how much he had opened up. In his condition, it was somewhat
incredible he could perform mind magic at all.
Malfoy pulled away from Snape and looked at Harry with wary eyes. "I'll
handle ingredient prep."
Harry smiled in relief. "Right."
Malfoy laughed at him. It was half-hearted, and a little tired sounding, but
it was a laugh. "Just. . .listen to him, all right? It's important."
Harry thought about saying something cutting in return, but Malfoy looked
like he'd bled enough for the evening, and Harry was never fond of the color red
ghosting over his hands. "I'll see what I can do."
And he did.
*
Draco answered the door at an unmentionable hour the next morning to find
Potter, who was sporting bloodshot eyes and a sheepish smile. "You look
like something I melted and proceeded to dance in."
"Did I wake you?" Potter asked, somewhat haplessly by Draco's
standards. "I wanted to make sure," an odd shake of his head,
"well, that he'd slept and that sort of thing."
"An owl later in the day would have worked swimmingly, in that
case." Draco yawned.
Potter blinked The Blink of the Perpetually Innocent and Imminently
Woundable. "Right. You won't at least tell me how he is?"
Draco stepped back from the door. "It's bloody cold out there, Potter.
At least come in and let me tell you over breakfast."
"You were sleeping and I have to-"
Draco reached out and pulled Potter physically over the barrier so as to
close the door behind him. It was too early in the morning even for magic, which
was saying something. "I don't know if they could have found a git bigger
than you to do the dirty work for the side of the bright and fuzzy."
"Neville was next in line."
"Your side really did have all the luck."
"Amazing you didn't switch earlier, really," Potter agreed
solemnly.
Draco, despite wanting nothing more than to fall asleep standing up, laughed.
"Fried eggs and toast all right?"
Potter said, "I generally stick to coffee, if that's possible."
Draco was unsurprised by this, given that Potter had looked at least a stone
under his most desirable weight since he'd begun paying of the Life Debt.
"Coffee and toast." Draco didn't know why it was he cared, except that
he was constantly having to look at Potter these days. "With jam."
Potter brightened at this. "Do you have good jam?"
In the face of Potter's obvious affinity for the food, Draco was not going to
admit that he had a bit of a jam fetish. "What would you consider
good?"
"Cherry or peach. Or apple. Mango's nice, too."
Draco grabbed a jar of each and did not look at Potter as he set them down.
Potter graciously forebore saying anything beside, "May I have four pieces
of toast, please?"
Draco rummaged through the Chilled Box to find the loaf of honey wheat bread
he'd bought at last Saturday's Farmer's Market in town. Severus had been rather
insistent that Draco learn to interact with the Muggle world and know its ways,
in case escape into it (or entirely from it) was ever necessary. Also because
Severus found house elves to be consistently underfoot and annoying but wasn't
willing to sacrifice the quality of his food despite their absence. He
absent-mindedly stuck all four pieces in the toaster. Severus and he had both
learned rather quickly that sometimes Muggle cooking tools were vastly superior
to cooking spells which could go wrong with surprising ease.
Potter said, "That's a big toaster."
"I like toast," Draco said, glancing at the four jars lined up like
soldiers at attention in front of Major Potter.
"It's best when it's right out of the toaster," Potter agreed, in
what Draco could only describe as a disgustingly happy tone. "It nearly
burns your fingers, and the jam melts a bit so that all the sugar dissolves even
more thoroughly."
"You think about food too much." Draco poured some water into a
kettle and hit it with a Boiling Charm before pouring it into the percolator and
leaning back against the counter while it steeped.
Potter shrugged. "I used to only get cold toast."
Draco didn't have anything to say to that. Instead he remembered why Potter
was there, permanent bed-head even more mussed than usual. "He slept.
Eventually. It took a couple of more doses of the non-verminis.
He should be up by the time you come back. If it doesn't seem like he will be,
I'll owl."
Potter tinkered with one of the jam jars. "What does it mean? How
long-"
"I don't know," Draco cut him off, not even cruelly, given the
circumstances. "There's not a lot of information on it, it takes someone of
enormous stamina to survive long enough to contract it and then most who do
don't realize what's happened, as it's so rare- There's not much written on the
subject. The cure was a complete fluke. Another Severus a few millenia back who
figured things out in time to save herself."
Potter was evidently easily distracted by details. "Millenia,
really?"
"Dark Magic's been around a while," Draco told him solemnly.
Potter made a face but didn't otherwise pay the mockery any attention.
"How long did she have?"
"Evidently years, but nobody's sure how quickly she figured it out.
Severus has always had Dark Magic residue problems so it was a while before we
realized." Draco curled his hands into fists and fought not to have rage
pour like magic out of every cell in his body. "I should have-"
"How good is your Occlumency, with him?"
Draco looked at Potter a long time, trying to figure out his angle. He had a
long history of trusting Potter to use any and all information he had on Draco
to destroy him. Potter hadn't spread the news of Severus' illness, though. So
far as Draco could tell, Potter hadn't gossiped at all about the two of them. To
anyone.
Severus was practically paralyzed in another room. Draco was out here by
himself. Well, by himself with Potter. It was just the two of them. Draco took a
deep, silent breath and chose to leave mistrust behind. Just this once. "As
good as everything else," he said, his voice breaking on
"everything." He kept his eyes on Potter's, careful not to so much as
blink.
Potter stood. Draco looked at the coffee pot. "You haven't had your
toast."
"I'll be back in a moment."
Draco frowned. "Where are you going?"
"To undo the wards," Potter said, and slipped from the room.
*
Draco didn't expect to see Potter after that. Sure Potter had complimented
his taste in jams, and eaten all four pieces of toast and even drank
three-quarters of the coffee. But without the wards Severus' illness was back to
being Draco's problem, and Potter would have nothing to do with it.
Just as Draco had wanted.
Only Potter showed back up again that night. He asked if maybe he could have
coffee again with dinner, with a casual, "You make a good pot."
Draco spluttered, "Why are you here?"
"I thought the extra pair of hands made things go faster. I can, um, if
I was wrong," and Harry listed a bit to the door.
Draco, who was so sure that it was better with just him and Severus, so very
sure, said, "No coffee, you're going to destroy your intestines, but we've
got this tea that'll work."
Potter smiled. "Special brew?"
Draco's lips were too numb with shock to smile back. Not that he would have.
"Something like that."
Potter seemed relatively unphased by Draco's stiffness. "Whatever
works."
"I wasn't expecting you," Draco said, as he walked into the
kitchen, which was entirely neat. The only food in sight was the bowl of apples
they kept on the table. Draco liked apples, the more tart the better.
Harry picked up an apple and took a bite. He blinked as the sourness of the
taste hit his tongue. "Your 'why are you here' gave that away,
really."
Draco summoned the tea leaves. "You don’t owe me anything else."
"No," Potter said. Draco thought he sounded unaccountably sad, but
shook the idea off as one caused by a lack of sleep.
"And you don't like us," Draco pointed out, without looking at
Potter. He didn't think he could say it while looking at Potter, which was odd,
but not something he had time to mull over at the moment.
Potter said, "Do you actually like these apples?"
"Immensely."
"Oh."
Draco heard the crunch of another bite being taken. "I'm going to make
you dinner, you realize."
"I don't get a chance to eat much during the day."
"Is that your excuse for this wind-blown waif look you're
sporting?"
"Huh?"
Draco turned around to set the tea cup down in front of Potter. "Nevermind.
Let it sit for a little while longer." He didn't miss the fact that Potter
glanced down at himself.
"I don't like cooking. I live by myself; I'm at work all day long."
Potter stopped for a second. "I miss food, I'm just too lazy to do anything
about it. And I think too used to going without- Well, yes. Too lazy."
Draco didn't inquire after what hadn't been said. He already knew enough
about Potter that he didn't want or need to know. "Severus is a little. . .
Sometimes you have to wait his instructions out."
Potter pulled his tea to him. "All right."
"The good news is that if I understand him correctly the cure comes in
three stages and we're very nearly done with the first."
"And that will help?"
"I think so." Draco worried at the pot of onions he was sautéing.
"Potions were never really. . . I mean, I was all right at them."
"The way he acted, you'd never have guessed you were anything less than
brilliant."
"Severus has always liked me." Draco said this softly, without
pride of any sort. "Sometimes I think despite his better judgment."
"Well, I suppose someone had to," Potter replied after a bit.
"I offered you a chance," Draco said coldly.
"You were a self-righteous, conceited little shit. I'm not entirely sure
you're all that different now, but there are moments when I think you're at
least self-aware." Potter didn't even raise his voice.
"You were- are an unflinching prat." Draco kept
his even as well.
"At least we know why we don't like each other. That's something."
Draco stirred angrily at the onions, sending several flying out of the pan.
He shot them with a silent banishing spell so intense it nearly chipped the
hob's surface. Behind him, Potter took another bite of the apple.
*
When Snape first tried to explain to Harry what feeling another's minds was
like, he couldn't have known that it would feel like
parseltongue. The way it would slide smoothly in an almost friendly manner at
the base of Harry's mind and wind its way up. Harry could only imagine that
Snape hadn't known that. That Occlumency took its own form for each person.
If Harry had known the distinct, seductive pleasure of it, he might have
fought it. Once he knew, of course, it was too late, and the sensation was
already one that he craved. Harry didn't like to pry; he knew it was wrong. The
way it felt to slip into Occlumency, have someone there with
him, though--his desire for that sometimes almost overcame his moral
reservations.
The slide of Snape's mind was interrupted, nearly shattered by the
interference of rotting Dark Magic eating away at the rest of him. The sensation
made Harry vaguely nauseated and he couldn't imagine what Malfoy, who knew
better, experienced. A surge of sympathy shot through Harry so hard that it must
have brushed at Malfoy, as the other man threw him a dirty look.
Harry shook his head slightly and concentrated on every word Snape was
working his hardest to convey. Legilimency was not the easiest way to convey
linear thoughts.
Harry stayed two hours later than he normally would have, working to
compensate for the time that was lost in translation, in the need for him and
Malfoy to split the tasks and keep moving.
An hour before they quit, Malfoy was drooping nearly as much as Snape. A
passing, unwelcome thought flew through Harry's mind as he watched Malfoy drive
himself relentlessly on for Snape. Would you do any less if it were
Ron?
He told Malfoy, "Close your mind."
"Potter-" Malfoy began wearily.
Harry cut him off. "I'll tell you what you need to know. Shut your
mind."
In both their heads, the vague swish of the command, "Do as he says
Draco," came across a bit more loudly than necessary. Malfoy glared in
Snape's direction but he played nice and did as he was told. Harry imagined he
had the fact that Snape was nearly falling over to thank for that.
Harry stopped the proceedings when Snape's directions not only slowed, as
they had nearly two hours before, but began to break and repeat, like a CD with
a skip. Dudley had been forever scratching the myriad of CDs his mum was always
giving him as gifts.
Harry shut his mind then, and said, "You both need some sleep."
Malfoy looked about to fight for all of a second until his eyes strayed to
where Snape was hunched over, practically bent in half. He crossed the room
clumsily, hindered by his own exhaustion, and ran gentle fingers over the man's
back. He whispered something that Harry didn't even try to hear. Harry asked,
"Can I help?"
Malfoy's fingers appeared nearly incandescent against the black of Snape's
hair as he carded them through. "I wouldn't turn down an extra levitation
spell."
Harry knew he wouldn't need Malfoy's levitation spell to augment his, but he
didn't say that, just proved the point with actions and let Malfoy lead the way.
When they arrived at the bedroom Harry swiped the bottle of pain-killer from the
nightstand and coaxed Snape into drinking it as Malfoy had the night before.
Malfoy spelled the outer layer of Snape's clothing off and the two of them
worked in concert to settle him as comfortably as possible. Harry tried not to
flinch at the man's small sounds of agony.
Malfoy said, "There's that bedroom. The one I-"
"It really takes me quite a while-"
"Don't leave," he interrupted, and Harry could all but hear the
"please" that followed it. "We're all alone here."
Harry could also hear the stress on the "we're," as though
repeating the words wouldn't allow anything to happen to Snape. "I've
spelled my floo to stay open to you at all times."
"Potter," Malfoy breathed. Then, "Harry." Then,
"Potter." Then, "Please."
If Harry had been pretty sure he'd never wanted to hear that word from Malfoy
in a moment of desperation again, he was entirely sure now. "Why?"
Malfoy's eyes burned with a discomforting mix of exhaustion and desperation.
"Because if you hadn't been here we couldn't have gotten as far as we did.
I'm, well, of course I'm good at taking care of him, we've always. . ."
Malfoy trailed off, shaking his head. "Because you're magically stronger
than I am and you seem to care enough to help. And I want that combination near
should I need it."
Harry wondered if there was more in the unspoken portion of Malfoy's
explanation. What he had was enough for him to give in and ask, "It's the
one across the hall?"
"I'll order in breakfast for you in the morning. Anything you
want," Malfoy said.
Harry took one last look at Snape on the bed. His eyes were closed and he was
breathing shallowly, but Harry knew he was listening. Harry walked to the door.
"I'll be across the hall."
He decided he most certainly hadn't heard a breaking sob as he left the room.
*
Malfoy wasn't awake when Harry crept out of the house, and Harry didn't wake
him up. He just made himself a bit of coffee while Malfoy wasn't around to
lecture him on its detrimental effects and set off for the school. Hermione took
up Malfoy's part for him anyway with a slight frown and a, "No amount of
coffee will substitute for a good night's sleep, Harry." She ruffled his
hair gently, and caressed his cheek once to show she wasn't angry, and that was
better than Harry generally got from Malfoy.
For once, Harry was too tired to bother pretending he wouldn't have preferred
it was Malfoy ruffling his hair. It had been a while, and Malfoy was a good
looking guy. Nothing unusual there. Opposites attract.
Okay, so maybe he wasn't too tired for the slightest bit of defensiveness.
Harry sighed, and took another gulp of the coffee.
Hermione grabbed a corner of his desk. "Sit down before you fall down.
Can I even trust you with the kids?"
"I haven't lost one yet," Harry said.
"That," Hermione said, "was less than
comforting."
"I don't know. I don't suppose some of the junior staff could cover my
classes if I took care of. . .whatever it is they generally take care of."
"They're junior staff, Harry. They make syllabi, write up lesson plans,
meet with parents, help out where they're needed."
Harry already did all of that. And more. "I could write the lesson
plans." Meeting with parents in this state probably wasn't the best plan.
"Did you sleep at all last night?"
Harry hadn't lied to Hermione in a while. Although that was obviously the
most expedient thing to do at this moment, he just shook his head. "Not
really."
"Go home."
Harry peered up at her. "Huh?"
"Home? That place you rent on a monthly basis despite my persistent
attempts to get you to buy a place? Where your bed and a new pair of clothes
resides?"
"I just meant-"
"It's not as though you're ever sick. Ever. Just take a health day. Rest
up."
"You're not going to yell at me about not sleeping?"
"Were you out at some wild ex-Auror orgy?"
Harry swallowed a mouthful of coffee. Just barely. "With helpless
ex-Death Eater maidens at my fingertips for hours on end."
"Only maidens? No lithesome lads?" Hermione shook her head.
"Poor Harry."
Harry put his face in his hands and laughed a bit. It took more effort than
he would have preferred. "It's somewhat. . .I don't know what it is.
Sickening? Realizing that I sympathize with Malfoy and Snape. For them?"
Harry shook his head. "I don't even like them."
"Bloody hell, Harry," Hermione said softly. "You've been
intimately experiencing one of the worst afflictions known to wizarding kind
through his mind. It's only to be expected. You are you, after all."
"Thanks for that."
"You're quite welcome."
"I meant Malfoy. Too. Not just Snape."
Hermione waited to respond to that. "You've always appreciated the finer
nuances of love. I've never understood how that was possible, but it was. You. .
.you are you."
"He's lithesome," Harry said.
"Oh, Harry."
"Yeah. I need to get out more."
"Ron knows all those nice quidditch guys."
"Maybe."
Hermione leaned over and kissed his forehead. "For now, just go home.
Sleep. Things'll make more sense when you wake up."
"You always say that."
"And I'm always right."
The beauty of it being, she generally was.
*
Draco woke up in the middle of the afternoon. He was still lying as close to
Severus as humanly possible without touching him. Draco glanced at the clock on
the wall and swore softly. He brushed a kiss gently over Severus' shoulder,
trying not to notice how thin his lover was becoming, and slipped quietly from
the bed.
Severus never awoke. Draco tried to just leave the room, but he couldn't
without placing his hand above Severus' mouth and nose to see if the man was
still breathing. Only when he'd been reassured on that point was he able to go
see if the owls had brought any assignments from the Weasleys, or any news that
Severus would be interested in hearing.
There was both. Draco took his time poring over the latter so as to be able
to tell Severus later. It was too much effort on his eyes to read at this point.
Draco knew hearing brought its own sort of pain. Severus, however, seemed to
find that infinitely preferable to the one incurred by engaging his eyes for any
length of time.
He skimmed over the WWW job contract and sent an owl with the message,
will have something for you to test in a week. If he started
using a Waking Charm, he could use his days for that. The request wasn't that
complicated and Draco was pretty sure he was being tested. He would have felt
angered by that, except that it only showed good sense on the Weasleys' parts,
and Draco wouldn't have worked for anyone without that.
Draco wandered to the room where Potter had slept the night before. The bed
was made. In fact, there wasn't a thing out of place. Draco mused for a few
moments over whether Potter was always that type of guest, or if he and Severus
brought it out in him.
He made his way across the hall. Severus was awake. Draco could see the
change in his breathing. It had become more labored. "Morning," Draco
said. He didn't bother to add the "good." It wasn't.
Severus uncurled his fingers slightly in what Draco took as a gesture of
beckoning. He slid onto the bed and aligned himself as close to Severus as he
could get without hurting the man some more. He said, "That research
commune in Lebanon that you took an interest in is starting up an annual
conference. Multi-discipline."
Severus made a small sound of interest. Draco said, "And Hogwarts is
looking for a new Potions professor. Again. Charms, too. I think the last pair
ran off with each other, but I'd have to talk to Daphne to be sure."
Severus' sound corresponded to amusement that time, and Draco made a mental
note to have a long chat with Hogwart's Arithmancy Professor Greengrass. Who was
the soul of discretion except for in the case of certain other Slytherins, whom
she saw as blood kin. Daphne's entire family had been executed as blood traitors
early in Potter's hunt for the horcruxes, when the Dark Lord had still believed
that casualties could affect Potter's determination. There had already been too
many casualties at that point for Potter to stop in the face of more. No, by
them Potter had known that the only thing that could bring a real end to the
casualties was to kill the Dark Lord and be done with it.
Draco sometimes wished he could ask Potter if family's like the Greengrass's
haunted him, but he was afraid the answer was 'yes.' There was only so much
Draco could take in the way of virtue.
"Potter stayed here last night. I don't know if you realized."
Severus didn't make a sound. His fingers did brush over Draco's. Draco said,
"You should rest."
Draco nearly screamed at the thought that ran forcibly through his head.
It wouldn't hurt for you to find someone else, Draco. Someone without
the threat of death hanging over his head.
"Shut it, Severus. Everyone has the threat of death hanging over their
head, Potter more so than most. You'll be fine. We can't be more than a couple
of nights off from the first stage of the cure, and then things will become
easier."
Severus made another sound. Draco couldn't determine what it meant, which
made his insides quiver. All he said was. "Rest. More brewing
tonight."
*
Harry Apparated to the Malfoy-Snape residence as soon as he'd woken and taken
a shower to shake off the last of his sleepiness. He'd slept like the dead from
the moment he'd gotten home from the school to the time he woke up, about an
hour before his alarm was set to go off. Roughly ten hours. He made it to his
destination about a half an hour earlier than he generally showed up.
Malfoy answered the door. "Sorry about breakfast."
"I stole from your coffee bean store."
"Tea?"
"Please," Harry said, and stepped inside. "How is he?"
"He woke up once. Mostly he's been asleep."
"And when he woke up?"
Malfoy shrugged. "Same."
"We're close," Harry said, trying not sound as unsure as he felt
about all of this. Somehow, though, he couldn't imagine failing. "The two
of you have gotten me out of worse spots."
Malfoy's responsive laugh was bitter. "Don't flatter yourself it was
personal."
"No." Harry didn't, never had. "Still, they were. . . He had a
plan."
"Well, of course the Dark Lord bloody well had plans. Beside the fact
that you were his nemesis and that having plans is in the job description of all
aspiring Dark Lord types, making a horcrux is complicated." Malfoy banged
around in the kitchen, agitation visible in every line of his body. "You
can't just kill someone and be done with it. There are rituals to be observed
and even if one enacts the final deed with a Killing Curse there was still all
sorts of workup. He just decided you deserved more special attention than the
rest of his victims. You were the reason he was having to create more horcruxes,
you realize? Or had that somehow slipped your mind?"
Harry rubbed at his right shoulder absently, the one part of his body where
there were scars that just couldn't be healed. "Thanks for stopping the
plans."
"That's-" Malfoy shook his head. "Thanks. Thanks for stopping
the plans? That may be the lamest expression of gratitude for snatching someone
from a long slow death by torture at the hands of psychotics I've ever
heard."
"Thank you for stopping my long slow death by torture at the hands of
psychotics?" Harry tried.
"You think you could-" Malfoy cut off whatever he was about to say.
"You're welcome."
"I could what?"
"Nothing."
"What, Malfoy?"
"Nothing! Leave it, Potter."
"If it's another favor, I have contacts I haven't talked to yet, I'm
certain I could find anything we needed-"
"We don't need anything," Malfoy hissed.
"The only reason I allow you to continue coming around is because of the
strength of your magic and the expedience of an extra pair of hands, do you
understand? You aren't part of us and you never will be!"
Harry blinked at the outburst, not entirely sure how they had gotten from
point A to point B. He tamped down on the instinctive anger that was a constant
presence between him and Malfoy. Or at least, had been. It had been surprisingly
absent for a while and Harry didn't particularly relish its return. Too much
work. "If you're suggesting I'd want-"
"Who knows what you want, but whatever it is, you're not getting it from
us. We've done our good turn for you."
"Several," Harry said quietly. "I was just offering to return
the favor. I didn't want you thinking this was still about the Life Debt."
"Don't be ridiculous Potter, of course it's still about the Life Debt.
The Life Debt's why you're here in the first place. It can't be about anything
but that."
Harry watched the angry lines of Malfoy's back and thought through the last
few turns of the conversation. He had a suspicion, born of the ache in Snape's
mind and the blood he could hear in Malfoy's screams, of what all this was about
but he wasn't certain and guessing seemed a good way to get himself locked out
of their lives without recourse. Instead, he changed the subject with a complete
lack of finesse and an utter refusal to care about such things. "Have you
been following the drama on up at the Ministry?"
Malfoy whipped around, eyes suspicious. "What?"
"The Scrimgeour-Shacklebolt face off."
"What has that to do with anything?"
"Small talk, Malfoy. Surely that was taught in your Manor?"
"Potter-"
But Harry was implacable. "I'm about to eat dinner. I'd like some
pleasant conversation."
Malfoy growled, "And what Potter wants, Potter gets." Nonetheless,
he was able to fill Harry in on details not even he'd heard. Harry didn't ask
about his source, just let Malfoy keep talking.
*
It took two more nights, but they managed the first stage. Malfoy fed the
first dose to Snape in tiny drops. Harry was reminded of a mother bird feeding
her chicks. He checked to make sure he'd closed his mind. Snape would wait for
an opportune moment to kill Harry if he ever got wind that Harry was thinking of
him as defenseless and sporting a beak.
The last words Harry received from Snape before the man passed out were,
"Do not panic." He was pretty sure they'd been intended for Malfoy,
but was glad they'd reached him all the same. Snape looked dead.
Malfoy said shakily, "I think that's how it's supposed to work. He has
to take another dose in four hours."
"And if he's not awake?"
"There are spells to trigger a person's swallow reflex." Malfoy
didn't look happy about the option. Harry didn't blame him.
"You want me to stay?"
"And do what, exactly? Hold my hand?"
Harry shrugged. "I suppose. If that's what you need."
"Bugger off, Potter."
Harry had spent most of his adult life learning how to let words wash over
him. Malfoy had a way of making him forget everything he'd ever learned.
"I'm trying, you pompous git, to help."
"Well you can't!" Malfoy screamed, the last word tearing out of his
throat. Then, quietly, as though he had broken his ability to sustain noise,
"You can't. You can save the world from people like us, you can hunt people
like us to the four corners of the earth, you can run a school full of children
and you can play quidditch like a pro, but you can't help him. Us."
Harry had a million answers for that. The one he chose was, "They aren't
like you."
Malfoy screwed up his face. "What?"
"You said people like us. Twice. They aren't like you."
"More than you know, Potter. I didn't switch sides for any grand
ideologic reason."
"You were seventeen."
"So were you."
"We had different mentors. And your reasons weren't so bad."
Malfoy gasped. "I just wanted them to leave us alone!"
"My point exactly."
"You're not making any sense."
"Let's put aside your use of the pronouns 'them' and 'us', which I feel
make my case for me anyway. You did it for the two of you. For your love of
yourself and your love of him."
There was silence for a bit. Malfoy finally prompted, "And?"
"What, Dumbledore never cornered you in a dark hallway and gave you some
esoteric speech on love and its power?"
"I thought he was being barmy. Or manipulative in some bizarre
manner."
"The latter."
"I didn't catch on."
"I suspect he was hoping Snape would catch you up on the rest of the
details." Ironic, Harry thought, how that had come to pass.
"You think because I love him-"
"I think because you know how to love. Yes, I think."
"You're crazier than Dumbledore was."
"Thank you." Harry conjured cherry sours and held a handful out to
Malfoy. "Always liked these better than lemon drops."
After staring at Harry in utter bafflement for a moment or so, Malfoy plucked
a sour from Harry's hand. "I shouldn't have said that you can't help."
"I know I can't save him."
Malfoy nodded. "It's going to be all right, now." He looked
intently at where Snape was slumped over the counter, unconscious. "I'll
get the next dose in him, and then the next and. It will be fine."
"You can just owl me, when you want some help again."
Malfoy nodded slightly. "If we need something, of course."
Harry turned to go. "All right, then." He was pretty sure he would
never hear from Malfoy again. He wasn't at all sure why that made his stomach
pitch violently against itself, to and fro, to and fro.
*
It took Draco two read-throughs to understand that the letter in front of him
really was from Potter. Malfoy, Snape. I'm sorry if I'm being
presumptuous. The first "p" in the word had a large inkspot
next to it, as though Potter had left the pen pressed against the parchment for
a while, thinking about what word to use next. Only, as it's been a
week, I was wondering how the cure was coming along. Answer if you have a
moment, Harry.
Draco rolled his eyes. He could practically hear Potter's hesitant tones in
the slight wobbles of his penmanship. He handed the letter to Severus.
"Think we ought to answer?"
It took Severus longer to read than it normally would. The first stage had
gone according to plan, and the most essential of his tissues were beginning to
cast out the corrupted magic and mend themselves. His eyes were evidently
considered essential, as were his ears, his stomach, his heart and a few other
internal organs. Most of his muscles hadn't made it onto the list and movement
or contact was still excruciating.
Softly, because Severus couldn't manage anything more than a whisper these
days, he said, "Is there a reason you haven't sent him a missive yet? Seems
a rather large breech of etiquette for you to have managed mistakenly."
"I was certainly going to send a fruit basket later, possibly with all
that vulgar candy he likes so much."
"I've seen your stash."
Draco's cheeks reddened.
Severus passed the letter back. "My life is worth an entire fruit basket
to you, is it?"
Draco's eyes shot up. "Severus-"
"Because your brush off of all he did for us-" Severus paused, as
much to catch his breath and get his pain under control as for effort. "I
would dearly love to have the luxury of hating Potter. Between the two of us I
believe I've far more right to it in many ways. But graciously or no, he did
what you asked of him when you asked. And more even when you didn't. It seems
that in paying a Life Debt he has accrued one of his own. From me."
"Gryffindors never call in their debts," Draco said. "Too
bloody noble. They like their suffering silent."
"Which makes the payment all the harder. If I have to give Potter one
thing, it's that he didn't make my debt to James complicated to work off. All he
had to do was walk in a room and Trouble Apparated in right beside him."
Draco snorted. "And you think he was innocent of all that?"
"I think curiosity has killed more cats than anyone begins to suspect
and foolishness more humans."
"I take it you're going to insist that I send him a letter?"
"He wrote to ask after me, Draco. He hasn't been indiscreet in the
least, the only person he's told is Granger, who's never repeated a word that
Potter's ever murmured in her direction. His only motive for asking can be that
he genuinely wants to know. If it were Daphne or Minerva would you deny them an
answer?"
"Daphne and Minerva care about you," Draco said coldly.
"Fear is an unattractive emotion on you, Draco. It's one of the few
things you've never been able to wear well."
"Your criticisms are somewhat softened by your willingness to bugger me
even when I'm in a blind panic."
"Love is a blind panic, as you well know. That said, your fear of
Potter, wherever it springs from, is less than flattering to you overall."
"I do not fear Potter."
"Obviously you do, or you would not be trying to avoid him so hard as
you are."
"I dislike him, Severus."
"No, you disliked him as a child. Which only drove you to seek him
out."
"I've grown up."
"Not that much," Severus said dryly.
Draco threw him a nasty look. "I'll just go draw up a reply and make all
of this a moot point, shall I?"
Severus made a small sound in the back of his throat. Draco flounced off.
Severus always watched him intently when he flounced, and for some reason, Draco
felt more like being watched than he usually did.
*
Harry read the note three times, looking for something he knew wasn't there.
Potter- Your concern is appreciated. Harry had snorted at
that. Given the two and a half days it took to receive a response, he seriously
doubted it. The first stage of the cure was a success and Severus is
feeling much improved. Draco Malfoy.
In the nine days since Harry had last gone over to the Malfoy-Snape
residence, he'd dined with Hermione and Neville twice and turned down another
four invitations. He'd played a game of pick-up quidditch with Ron and Violet,
written a long overdue letter to Ginny-- who was sure to be cross at the lack of
communication, and slept a blissful amount. Overall, it had been a good nine
days.
Harry had been miserable making himself wait seven days to write a letter,
even more miserable that neither Malfoy nor Snape had contacted him before then,
and ten spots beyond miserable at having to wait another two and half days
before a response flew in his window.
Finally, he did what he always did when his perceptions about the world as he
knew it were crumpling and all his other options were exhausted. He flooed Remus
and said, "Meet me for a drink, yeah?"
Their evenings together never ended after one drink. For one thing, the
topics of conversation Harry generally called Remus to talk about were of the
type that he needed more than one drink to warm up to. For another, Remus seemed
to feel that his position as a quasi-father-figure required him to get Harry
good and hammered on occasion.
They always chose Muggle bars for these sorts of outings. Remus didn't like
enduring the inevitable scowls and glares at wizarding pubs and Harry despised
the adulation.
That night Harry arrived first. Remus wasn't much later, only a few minutes.
Harry had already ordered them each a Scotch. "First drink is on me."
"All right, but I've got the rest." Remus was less than all right
with the fact that Harry had used some of his personal funds to redo Grimmauld
Place so as to give it to Remus and Tonks for their wedding.
Harry had told him, in another night of drunken abandon, "I know it's
bloody awful and he hated it, but it was his and I'm sort of over wanting to get
rid of anything that was his. You'll take care of it. Because it was his."
Tonks had been surprisingly gracious about the whole thing, particularly
after she saw some of the funkier renovations Harry had made sure to include for
her. And that he'd managed to eradicate Mrs. Black's portrait.
Tonks supported the two of them, so it was actually her money Harry was
always getting drunk off of, but Remus stayed home with the kids all day. Since
all four kids were the product of an ex-Marauder and, well, Tonks, Harry often
thought she got the easier part of the deal chasing down Dark Wizards all day.
Having eaten before he'd come and possessing a rather hearty metabolism,
Harry was four hard drinks and two beers in when he managed to say, "I
think I might have a crush. Probably."
"Guy or girl?" Remus was nursing only his second drink. Harry eyed
him balefully. Remus took a sip, and Harry knew it was mostly to appease him.
"Guy."
"You're usually not so shy with them."
Nor with girls, really, not since Ginny had taught him that everyone was a
goober when it came to liking someone else. He should write again and thank her
for that. He owed her in back-letters, and it was never wise to piss off a
curse-breaker. "Totally unattainable."
Remus frowned. "Is he straight?"
Harry shook his head sloppily.
"With someone?"
"Practically married. If wizards had an institution for boy-on-boy
marriage they'd be. . . I don't even know, fifteen candles in on their
anniversary cake? Something like that."
"Oh, Harry."
Harry did another shot and admitted, "That's not even really the
problem."
"There's a bigger problem?" Remus looked afraid to know.
"He's my," Harry momentarily blanked on the word, "you know,
that thing when you don't like someone."
"Um-"
"Like Voldemort."
"Enemy?" Remus ventured.
"Yes!" Harry snapped his fingers. "He's my enemy."
"Most of your enemies are dead, Harry."
"Not Malfoy," Harry told him earnestly. "Not Snape either,
although that one was a close call."
"Severus almost died?"
Harry nodded solemnly. "Dark Legacy." Then his eyes widened.
"That's a. . .that thing when you're not supposed to tell anyone."
"Secret?" Remus bit back a smile.
"Exactly." Harry's vocabulary always went to total rubbish when he
was drunk. That and his ability to stop talking. It was why he'd been careful
never to get drunk in the days when he'd had information that would get people
killed.
"I didn't know a person could survive Dark Legacy."
"There's a cure." Harry eyed Remus suspiciously. "You're
supposed to be the Dark Arts Professor."
"The student as has long surpassed the master, Harry. There's a
cure?"
"Full of nasty, um. Stuff," Harry concluded.
"Ingredients?"
"Yeah. And Malfoy said that I owed him."
"The Life Debt?"
"Mm." Harry looked down at the table. "I didn't want to. I
said I had to supervise. And then Draco made me dinners. I mean, Malfoy."
"Dinners," Remus said, clearly having lost the train of thought and
just as clearly sure he wasn't going to get Harry to pick it back up in any
meaningful way.
And although Harry was not generally a maudlin drunk, when he looked up at
Remus, the corners of his eyes were wet. "I'm just. . .that thing when you
don't have anybody."
"Lonely?"
"Really lonely," Harry said for emphasis.
"Is that all?"
There was a long, long silence before Harry said, "No."
Remus repeated, "Oh, Harry."
*
Harry woke up to pink eyes and blue curls and said, "Hullo, Sirina."
The six year-old girl who was currently lying fully atop Harry grinned. She
was missing two teeth on top and one on the bottom. "Good morning, Uncle
Harry."
Harry's gaze flickered to where he knew the clock would be. It read 11:47. He
was in "his" room in number 12 Grimmauld, he just couldn't remember
how he'd gotten there. Focusing on the issue at hand, Harry wrangled his arm
free from where Sirina had it pinned and ruffled her curls. "Blue,
huh?"
"Like my eyes?" She batted them.
"Very pink," Harry said.
"I like pink," she told him.
"Me too," he said. "Where're your brothers?"
"Jamie and Brian are making lunch. Cedric's hiding."
Harry tried to suppress his horror at the thought of the nine year-old twins
anywhere near the kitchen. "Why's Cedric hiding?"
"Because I told him we were playing hide-and-seek."
Harry sighed and rolled over, making sure Sirina slid gently off him.
"We'd best go find him, then, yeah?"
"I guess," Sirina said, sounding less than thrilled by the idea.
Harry wondered where a four year-old hid in a place like this. He did a
silent locator spell and followed the tug in his chest until it led him to the
big bed in Remus's and Tonks's room. Harry hunkered down on the floor and lifted
the bed-curtain to peer underneath. He said, "Hello, Cedric."
Cedric said, "Shh. 'Rina'll find me."
"She's with me. We were finding you so that you could have lunch with
us."
Cedric took a second to consider this. "Oh." He crawled out from
underneath the bed.
Sirina said, "You're it next time."
Cedric made a face, "Am not."
Harry picked up both kids and settled them on either hip. Sirina was two
years older than Cedric, but small for her age and so roughly the same size.
"I'll be it next time. But first, lunch."
Harry, to his relief, found Tonks in the kitchen with the twins. The twins
were identical and looked uncannily like Remus, with the exception of their eyes
being a deep blue rather than wolf-gold. And a notable lack of scars. Tonks was
looking surprisingly sedate this morning with the mounds of fire-engine red hair
pinned atop her head her only concession to her metamorphmagus skills.
Evidently, Sirina was doing well enough for the whole house in that department.
Tonks smiled at him, "Wotcher, Harry."
Harry let Cedric and Sirina down carefully. "It is still Saturday,
yes?"
"Hermione flooed to make sure you were here and upon receiving and
transmitting confirmation of such, Ron flooed to make sure you remember the
match this afternoon."
"Whistle blows at three," Harry said. He hadn't had
that much to drink.
"Can we go, Uncle Harry?" Brian asked.
Jamie added a, "Please, please, please." Jamie, Harry knew, had a
crush on Violet.
"Ask your parents," Harry said.
"You sure?" Tonks asked. "They're scamps."
Harry chuckled. "I'm sure."
She shrugged. "Go ahead then."
The twins scampered to go get their stuff. Harry called after them,
"It's only noon."
Remus rolled his eyes. "As if that mattered."
"What about you guys?" Harry asked, looking from Sirina to Cedric.
Cedric wrinkled his nose. "It's cold out."
Sirina asked, "Uncle Ron will be there?"
"Yeah, and I know he misses you. He told me so last week." He
hadn't, actually, but Harry felt pretty confident in the statement regardless.
Sirina smiled. "He'll like my eyes."
Harry thought her best bet was Ginny, actually. Ginny, however, was in
Thailand, and Ron would like the whole pink-eyed look, so he nodded.
"Coming, then?"
Sirina gave a pert little nod and ran off behind her brothers. Cedric crawled
up into Remus's lap and settled his head beneath his father's chin. Harry
watched the way Remus' eyes blinked pure gold for a second. Nine years of having
children and Remus still couldn't get over the little things. Harry said,
"Thanks."
Remus looked up at him. "Well, it was that or leave you there. Honestly,
Harry."
"You know where my flat is."
"And as a result, I've actually seen your flat."
Harry frowned. Tonks laughed. "He hasn't any right, Harry. I've seen
some of the places he lived."
"Extenuating circumstances," Remus said.
Harry shrugged. "I'm at work all the time, that's extenuating."
"Yeah," Tonks and Remus said in tandem.
Harry, who wanted to have a nice day, asked, "What's for lunch?"
*
When the wards whispered to Draco that Remus Lupin was waiting to be admitted
into his house, Draco turned to Severus and asked, "Were you expecting
company?"
Severus fixed Draco with his best, "Are you mentally-impaired?"
Look. Draco felt a bit mentally impaired. "Erm. Do you suppose I should let
him in?"
"It's either that or put up with repeated attempts from him to contact
us until we relent from the sheer desire to get rid of him. Believe me when I
tell you he will never give up."
Draco stood at the resigned tone of Severus' voice, something the man
generally reserved for his failed efforts to gain an Order of Merlin and other
irreversible disappointments. "I'll return."
"Scared to handle the werewolf by yourself?" Severus called after
him, but Draco knew when he was being baited.
Draco opened the door, not stepping back from the opening. Lupin said,
"Hello, Mr. Malfoy. Might I come in?"
"Depends on what you're here for, Mr. Lupin." Draco placed an
emphasis on the title, caressing the sentence with a certain overabundance of
politeness.
"I wish to speak with you and Severus regarding Harry."
"We haven't done anything to your little hero, and as I've ceased all
communications with him, we won’t be doing anything, either."
"Was something in my voice suggestive of such an allegation?"
Draco narrowed his eyes. Lupin sighed. "There are just a few things- It
really is important that Severus be involved in this conversation."
Draco still wasn't wild about the thought of letting Lupin inside his
territory--the loss of control it suggested was becoming sickeningly
familiar--but Lupin was right about that at least. If something involved
Severus, he had the right to hear about it. He stepped back from the door. Then,
as Lupin crossed over the threshold, Draco said, "I'm not offering you
tea."
"Why else would I come at a time unconducive to such an offer?"
Lupin walked on past him a bit. "This way?"
Draco gave in and led him down the hall and into the sitting room where he
and Severus had been unwinding. They had begun brewing the second stage of the
cure, and when they weren't in a lab, they were usually sitting around, allowing
their bodies and minds to rest. Draco sat down without offering Lupin a seat.
Lupin remained standing, inclining his head slightly toward Severus.
"Severus."
"Lupin."
"You said this was about Potter." Draco was unwilling to have this
intrusion last any longer than was absolutely necessary.
Something that was not quite a smile played at the edges of Lupin's eyes. He
fixed his gaze on Severus. "Did you know about Sirius? With James and
Lily?"
"That he begged for sexual favors like a dog begs for scraps at a
table?" Severus asked. His tone belied a casual intent to wound. Draco
always tried to imitate that off-handedness but had never yet been able to
accomplish it.
Lupin looked sick. "They loved him. There was merely no legal or
otherwise established way to. . . James could be very traditional, in certain
ways."
Draco noticed how Severus' eyes flickered toward him. He wondered what that
was about but didn't ask, too busy trying to digest the considerable amount of
emotional blackmail material dropped into his lap in a matter of seconds.
Severus waved a hand. "You haven't come to talk about old times or the
folly of the wizarding world's dependence upon tradition."
"No."
Everything clicked into place for Draco in a dizzying rush a bare moment
before Severus said, "You came about Potter. My, my. How history does
repeat itself. Is this blackmail, Lupin?"
Draco wondered what exactly Lupin had on Severus. He didn't ask. Lupin could
probably make something up and given the way rumors were infinitely more
significant than fact most days, the threat would be every bit as plausible.
Lupin shook his head. "No, this is a request. Simple as that. If the two of
you are unwilling to give Harry a chance then I won't have him taken in by
force. He deserves better."
"I'd imagine you believe he deserves better than us anyhow," Draco
said.
Lupin shrugged. "Harry's an adult, and one with a fair amount of sense.
I imagine there are things between you of which I've no understanding."
Severus asked, "Both of us, Lupin?"
Lupin's hesitation was miniscule, but noticeable. "Harry would quit
before he would even try."
"It's unlikely he realizes there are other options," Severus said
silkily. Draco thought he was hoarding emotional weapons as well. "It's
Draco he wants, then?"
Lupin didn't say anything, which was answer enough. Draco laughed. "As
if he could come anywhere near to what I have with you."
Lupin's eyes darkened. "A chance, Mr. Malfoy, that's all I ask. If you
have any-"
Severus cut off whatever Lupin had been about to suggest Draco was lacking.
"We owe him, Draco."
"As Mr. Lupin here so eloquently pointed out, a forced relationship is
worse than none at all."
"No force, Draco. Merely a try. If things crumble, well." Severus
smiled a rather nasty smile. "My debt will nonetheless be fulfilled."
Draco locked his gaze on Severus and considered his words for several
moments. "Very well."
Lupin's exhalation of relief echoed loudly in the silence that followed
Draco's capitulation. Draco wondered if that was what Muggles meant when they
referenced hearing "winds of change" blow.
*
After the werewolf had taken his leave, Severus said, "You'll have to be
the one to owl Potter."
"It was your bargain," Draco told him, with more than a bit of
spite.
"I am nothing more than a convenient complication in all of this.
Convenient because I owe him, complicated because I get in the way. It's you he
wants."
"If he wants me badly enough, I suppose he'll come when you call, won't
he?" Draco added a bit of petulance in with his spite. "I went to him
with a Debt I had held for over a decade in case of dire need and
begged for you life. Pleaded. Very nearly got on to my knees.
And in order to pay off your own Debt you turn around and whore me out.
You will write the letter."
Severus narrowed his eyes. "You're telling me the concept does not
entice you in the least? The thought of Potter on his knees in front of you,
hands and knees, perhaps, does nothing to excite you?"
Draco swallowed.
"Do not dare to accuse me of sexually exploiting you
for my own gain. You know better."
Draco did, too. There were certain things of which the two of them never
spoke. Things like the times when Severus had come back from meetings with
Draco's father, or MacNair or LeStrange. How he would return bearing bruises
that Draco could have healed with the vaguest wave of a wand. Instead of
accepting help, Severus would snap, "Leave them."
When the Dark Legacy had begun creeping upon Severus, leaving rotten-cherry
dark stains upon his flesh Draco had thought it was all happening again. He'd
been devastated to find out he'd underestimated the situation.
"I'll. . .write the letter," Draco said by way of apology. He
didn't plan on being dignified about it. Severus wouldn't expect that anyhow.
"Draco," and this time Severus sounded sorry. "If-"
"You always do this," Draco said flatly. "You always act like
someone else is who I want. I'm hardly one to suffer in silence, something you
well know. If I'd wanted to leave before now-"
"Where would you have gone?"
"Somewhere. You did teach me most of what you know. I'm hardly
incompetent to fend for myself."
"Yes, but you were never good at being alone."
Draco didn't deny that. "It's more than that," he said. He wondered
how Severus could still not know it was more than that.
"Come here," Severus said.
Draco reluctantly sidled up to Severus. Severus reached up, the corners of
his eyes tightening at the motion. It didn't stop him from swiping an errant
hair behind Draco's ear. "For myself as well."
Draco nodded. "You don't have to make things so hard. Not anymore. They
do it all by themselves."
"I will write the letter. If you prefer."
"No. Just. . .don't disappear when he comes around."
"I won't leave you."
Draco bit back the plaintive "promise?" that was choking him.
*
Harry didn't exactly depend on his brains to get him places in life, but he
wasn't stupid either. When the letter from Malfoy came with a, Tea? And
perhaps those blueberry tarts you like? scribbled roughly somewhere in
the middle of otherwise less-than-subtle hostility, Harry was pretty sure
something had been said by someone. And
that something had probably included the blackmailing of
Malfoy or Snape. The thought made Harry's stomach clench up.
He accepted the offer. He would have minded being their charity case, he'd
always detested that sort of thing before. Only, it seemed that no matter how
many times he tried to pen a reply he couldn't quite say no. He thought the best
response would be something that went, Well, that's very kind, but I
have better things to do than sit around and be insulted. What the ink
repeatedly showed him was, Really? The blueberry things?
Magic could be an utter pain in the arse at times.
He did find his way to Hermione's office after school, toss the note across
her desk to her and ask, "Is this your doing?"
Hermione read quickly and looked up at him, clearly perplexed. "Harry,
I'm not even entirely sure I know what you mean."
Hermione had never lied to Harry, and he didn't think that this would be the
moment she'd choose to start. There had been so many better opportunities
littering their past. Hermione asked, "Would you tell me why you think
someone forced the issue?"
"Besides the. . .Malfoy charm apparent in the letter?"
"That's just him."
"It would take a lot of explaining. Long story short, he doesn't want me
around. He's made that fantastically clear over the past few weeks, both in
person and communication. Malfoy's not the type to go changing his mind because
he rolled out of the bed on another side than his usual that morning."
"It always seemed to me that was how his decision to come over to our
side had been reached."
"No. I think. . ." Harry tried connecting all the disparate facts
he'd been storing up on that subject since his renewed relationship with the man
had begun. "I think he knew that we'd take him, bad deeds and all. A few
good deeds, though, and he was on Voldemort's disposal list. He's really quite
smart. I don't ever say that around him, but he catches on to things quickly. I
think he figured that once we could call him and Snape redeemed we'd see that
they were in love and leave off. Which is pretty well what we did."
"Then you think someone's blackmailing him into seeing you?"
"Coercion of some sort."
"Who else even knows that you'd want contact with him? You hadn't
clearly admitted it to me until right now, and I had to do some serious
inferring. Not that I hadn't wondered, but still. I work with you every day and
we've been friends for nearly two decades."
"I had Remus, um, buy me some drinks."
"Ah." Hermione knew all about the ritual. "How's Cedric?"
The twins and Sirina attended the school, but Cedric wouldn't be old enough
until the fall.
"He's fine. You should go visit."
"You really think Remus walked into the den of the dragon? No pun
intended."
"Possible. I may have worried him."
"Are you going to ask him?"
"Dunno. Maybe after-" Harry looked sheepish. "I'm like a dog
begging for scraps."
"I don't know if-"
"I don't know either," Harry admitted. "But it's as though I
can't stop myself."
"I suppose it's only tea," Hermione said, sounding rather doubtful.
"Hm." Harry tried not to notice the small trill of disappointment
that ran through his blood at her words.
*
Harry didn't particularly like lemon tea but he wasn't going to tell Malfoy
that. He had a sneaking suspicion Malfoy knew, anyhow. Malfoy kept refilling
Harry's cup, and Harry just kept drinking. He asked Snape, "The second part
of the cure?"
"Coming along. I sent you a list of ingredients."
"I know. A few of them are proving a bit hard to procure."
"Chimera's blood?" Snape asked.
"That's one. Remus has contacts in the magical creatures set, I asked
him for a favor."
The slight tremble of Malfoy's tightly held teacup told Harry his suspicions
were correct. He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry to have. . .inconvenienced
you."
He was on his feet and headed toward the parlor door when Malfoy said,
"The lemon tea was ungracious of me."
Harry stopped walking. "At least you didn't lie about the blueberry
tarts."
"They're my favorite, too." Draco had the grace to look somewhat
ashamed of himself.
"I don't know what Remus. . .it was Remus?" Harry continued at the
slight incline of two heads at once, "said or what he has on you, but I'll,
ah, speak to him."
"He hasn't anything on us," Snape said. Harry knew he was missing
something, he just wasn't entirely sure where the lines he was supposed to be
reading between were.
"Sit down, Potter," Malfoy said, with an unexpected gentleness.
"I've got a rosehip brew waiting to be tried. If you'll give me a
moment." He left the room, with Snape and Harry together and unmediated.
Snape said, "Are you always so careless with your most embarrassing
secrets?"
"There were good quantities of alcohol involved." Harry was willing
to concede that Snape had a point, but not without a decent amount of
self-defense.
"Perhaps you should abstain."
"I do, for the most part." Harry caught Snape's eyes. "I trust
Remus to do what is best for me. Mostly. He means well, anyhow."
"I have no doubt," Snape sneered.
"Why didn't you just say no?"
"Perhaps the idea of buggering the Famous Harry Potter within an inch of
his life appeals."
Harry tried his best not to show any trepidation in the face of Snape's
hostility. Though Harry had learned how to make himself impassive enough in the
face of free-roaming Death Eaters and angry parents of children, Snape had known
him when he was nothing but emotion. It was harder hiding from him. He knew he
had failed when Snape rolled his eyes. "I had my reasons."
Bluster seemed like a bad idea with Snape, who was always able to ferret out
those sorts of things. Harry said, "The two of you take me at face
value."
"Sometimes less."
Harry shrugged. "Yeah."
"Mr. Potter-"
"At least when you touch me you'll be touching something that
you--personally--have created in your head. Better you than the
Prophet or Witch Weekly or the latest
Ministry rumor. The two of you have at least known me most of my life."
"And none of your schoolmates-"
"Everybody wanted something unbroken after the war. Fresh start. Hadn't
you noticed?"
"I had Draco."
Harry closed his eyes. "You still do."
The object of conversation slid back into the room with a second tea tray.
"Still do what?"
Harry opened his eyes, focusing them on the blond. "Win. Every
time."
*
Harry left the house with the resolution never to come back. If he had
learned one thing from his separate struggles with the Dursleys and later
Voldemort, it was never to fight a battle on the enemy's terms. It was the
surest way to lose. As no other terms were up for offer, and Harry didn't much
like thinking of himself as a homewrecker anyhow, he decided to give up. There
were plenty of nice people in the world, he certainly had merely been looking in
all the wrong places.
Yes, that was it.
Harry thought about asking his friends for advice. Hermione and Neville had
met at school, though, Remus and Tonks in the Order, and Ron and Violet through
work. None of those options presented a productive avenue or inspired new ideas.
The parents of any of the children at the school seemed potentially problematic
and the bar scene made Harry queasy before he'd even had his first drink.
Personals and dating services were a bad idea for obvious reasons. Unless he
tried Muggle dating services. . . Harry tucked the concept away for later
consideration.
He wondered if maybe his priorities were completely out of order. After all,
nobody was supposed to need a partner. Harry was sure Hermione had mentioned
that once or twice after breaking up with Ron.
"I might need a hobby," he told Hermione.
"Michaela Braden's father's been after you to join their community
quidditch league forever."
Harry thought the hobby was probably going to need to take up more than one
night a week and one Sunday a month of his time. Still, it was sweet of Hermione
to suggest something he actually enjoyed.
He owled Colin Braden. Unsurprisingly, given how long Colin had been talking
the teams up to him, he had a spot as a Seeker within days.
Harry really hoped he hadn't inadvertantly pissed someone off.
And that there were nice looking people of his age playing on the teams.
As it turned out, he got his wish on both the former and the latter. The
previous Seeker wasn't too put off by giving up her spot to Harry, whom she'd
seen play a few times in her first year at Hogwarts, his sixth. She was pretty
and blandly nice and married with two children.
This was something of a trend. Harry asked Hermione, "When did everybody
our age settle down?"
"Roughly seven years ago."
"Around the time you left Ron."
"It wasn't going there. Ever."
"You and Neville. . .?"
"I don't know." Hermione looked at him sharply. "I don't worry
about it."
Harry took her point. "Think paying someone to have sex with me would
take care of the problem?"
"I haven't the slightest. If you do, for your sake, pay a Muggle
somewhere at least a thousand miles from here, and use protective charms past
where you can see."
Which really took what little romance there was in the idea right out for
Harry. "Right," he said softly.
Hermione's look softened then, so much so that Harry thought she might
crumble a little. She didn't. He knew that was for him but didn't have any way
of saying thank you without breaching whatever barrier she was holding as a last
stop between her and tears. "Harry. Maybe. Have you asked around? I mean,
Neville might be able to set you up-"
"Nobody seems to know anybody who's single and suitable. They're all,
um. Single for a reason."
"That's not you, Harry," Hermione said sternly.
"Well, I was trying to date a very married prat, so it might have
something to do with my taste."
"Ginny, Gabrielle, Andre, Uta and Matt where all perfectly nice
people."
"You think I should have married Ginny?"
"I didn't say that."
"No, I was asking."
Hermione shook her head. "You weren't ready. She was all you'd ever
known, and, while that's not bad I don't know that it's good either."
"Are you glad Ron isn't all you've ever known?"
"I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Neville, so there's that."
Harry put his face in his hands.
Hermione reached over and rumpled his hair. "Maybe you should take a
vacation. Go sight see or something. Get away from all this."
Harry looked up. "I appreciate the thought, really, but I don't really
want to go somewhere far on my own right now."
"You could see if Ron was up for some male-bonding."
"The season runs forever, he doesn't get that much time off to begin
with and I know he'd do it if I asked."
"So. . .?"
"He and Vi have been trying to find some time off just for themselves
for practically a year now. Even before they were together. I'd feel like a
lousy friend. I'd be a lousy friend."
"I'd offer my own services, but I feel like one of us has to be around
in case there's business to attend to."
"I appreciate the thought."
"Hm. Maybe this summer Remus and Tonks would let you join them for the
family get-away." Hermione paused. "That would probably be the only
thing worse than being by yourself, huh?"
"I suppose Malfoy and Snape could invite me to tag along on theirs and
suddenly decide they were into public displays of affection half-way
through."
"Maybe not a vacation."
"Maybe not."
They sat in silence for a while before Hermione said, "I know it's not
the same, but I love you Harry. I'd do anything to change-"
Harry settled his fingertips lightly over her mouth. "I love you,
too."
*
After Potter politely refused three invitations to tea--the final one even
offering the red tea that Draco often refused to share with Severus, let alone
anyone else--Draco switched tactics. Lupin could hardly insist that Draco force
himself upon Potter. This left him torn between the sense that he was free of
any lingering obligation and the uncomfortable familiarity of the defeat in
Potter's eyes at their last meeting. That latter eventually overpowered the
former. At which point Draco took drastic measures, and wrote to Granger.
Professor Granger-
I was hoping you might have some advice on how to meet up with Professor
Potter on neutral ground.
Your time is appreciated, Draco Malfoy
Granger's response was, unshockingly, a bit terse.
Mr. Malfoy,
Leave him alone.
Professor Hermione Granger
Draco, however, had overcome greater obstacles than one fanatically loyal
mudblood chit in his time. He penned back:
Honestly, Granger, you have to know that if you don't help me out
I'm only going to come to your little school and make an enormous scene. It's
what any self-respecting Slytherin would do.
The response wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping for: He plays
quidditch two Sundays from today, four PM, the third pitch at the Gaelyn Playing
Grounds. Come cheer for him. Still, he supposed it would work well
enough.
Draco invited Severus, knowing that even if he had been feeling healthy
enough to sit out on the hard bleachers for however many hours the match lasted,
he would have refused. Severus said, with a quiet dignity, "You feel I
didn't have to attend enough of those whilst indentured to your former
institution of education?"
Draco smiled wickedly. "You like watching me with a broom between my
legs."
"When the broom isn't metaphorical, certainly," Severus said, and
went back to making the notes he'd started about the side-effects of the cure.
Draco dragged Daphne along, partly because she really did need to get away
from the school more often than she did, partly because he missed her, and
partly because he wasn't going solo to a quidditch match where all the
participants and observers could very well end up being ex-Gryffindors. He did
have some sense of self-preservation.
Daphne sat down next to him before casting her gaze sideways. "Looks
like you weren't kidding."
Draco followed her line of sight to witness Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger,
and Neville Longbottom all in a row. There was another woman with them. She
looked vaguely familiar and it took Draco a few moments to place her as the
Wasps' star Chaser. Evidently Weasley hadn't done all that badly for himself
once he'd shaken Granger.
Daphne asked, "Why are we here, Draco?"
"I wanted to take you to a quidditch game."
"There are plenty of professional ones, you know. That don't involve
your childhood rivals."
Draco winced a little. "I need to talk to Potter."
"About?" Daphne said it mildly, but with the hint that she was
going to be persistent if called upon to do so.
"Is that really important? I did buy you enough pumpkin pasties to last
through a three-day game."
"I don't enjoy hexing friends in front of an audience, but it's not
morally troublesome to me, or anything like that."
"Should've asked Henri," Draco said, referring to Daphne's
boyfriend.
"Probably," Daphne replied with a complete lack of any proper level
of concern. "Sort of wishing you had more friends right about now?"
Draco very nearly snapped back a smooth, "Yes." Where Draco's small
number of friends was concerned however, even words frightened him. "You
fulfill the function adequately."
"Mm," Daphne said, a small smile biting at her lips. "What
about, Draco?"
"I. . .I'm seeing if he'll respond to being asked on a date better in
person than he has by owl-post."
Daphne looked stricken. "For the love of all things magical! Draco, tell
me you haven't put me between yourself and Severus while you cheat on him."
"What?" Draco blinked. "No. No. Severus knows what I'm doing
here."
"And he thinks you asking Potter to climb into bed with the two of you
is a perfectly sound plan?"
"Don't be crass, Daphne." Draco sniffed a bit for emphasis.
"It's tea, not fornication."
Daphne stared at Draco for a moment. She turned her gaze back to the field.
"I'm cheering for Potter."
"We had discussed that, yes."
"He obviously needs someone on his side."
*
Potter let the snitch go about its merry way a few times throughout the
match, allowing the other team's Seeker to save face. Draco saw him do it. It
made him think about hitting Potter. Or possibly kissing him. The latter was far
more upsetting to contemplate. Draco had never suspected he had a thing for
sweetness.
Draco and Daphne successfully managed to avoid having to speak with the
Gryffindor contingent. Potter made it somewhat easier by eventually approaching
them. He nodded his head, sweat slicking back the black mess of hair and making
the scar all the more visible. Draco always thought he was entirely used to
everything about Potter, and then certain impulses--the impulse to reach out and
hide the scar--would remind him he wasn't.
Potter said, "Professor Greengrass, Malfoy."
Daphne twisted her mouth into a moue of discomfort. "Daphne. You're
making me feel ancient."
Potter flushed a little. "Daphne."
Draco decided to do something he very rarely did then, something he was only
good at when he knew how very much was at stake: he went on the offensive.
"Good game, Harry."
Potter, to his credit, managed not to gape. He did try out the name,
"Draco," like it was in a language he'd never before spoken. "It
was, erm, nice of you to come watch the game."
"Since you seem reluctant to join me for tea I thought I might buy you a
congratulatory butterbeer." Draco kept his voice and his gaze casual.
Potter glanced over at where both Granger and Chaser-girl had their hands on
Weasley's arms. "No doubt you and Daphne-"
"Oh, I'm leaving shortly," Daphne said. "Papers to grade, I'm
sure that's something you can sympathize with. And if I'm not done by the time
my partner comes to pick me up for a date this evening I may very well find
myself single again. No, you two go ahead."
Henri worked as the Ministry liaison to Hogwarts, a position created in the
hopes of avoiding future Umbridge-like fiascos. As a result, he understood
perfectly the demands of Daphne's job, and even if he hadn't, adored her far too
much to leave her over a couple of missed dates. There were times when Draco
really did love her beyond all reason.
"Oh. Um." Potter looked so politely unhappy at the way things were
going that Draco very nearly took pity on him. "Won't Snape expect you
back?"
"I told him I planned on dragging you out afterward." Draco said
this softly, willing Potter to catch on to exactly what he was being told. Then,
he added with quiet sarcasm, "He even gave me some pocket money to aid in
the cause."
Potter pressed his lips into a thin line. "Is this. . .would you like me
to beg? Would that make us even? It was only the two of us in that office and
there's quite a few more people standing around, but if that's what you need to
stop," Potter threw his hands up, "stop this game you're playing,
then-"
"Don't," Daphne said, something cold and desperate in her voice.
"Harry, no. Whatever this is about, and believe me when I say I probably
have less information than you, it's not about that."
Draco knew Daphne had begged for enough things in her life--things that had
gone ungranted--to be less than pleased at the thought of anyone else doing so.
Besides which, she was right. The idea, which he had always thought he would
love, made him feel a bit like he had suggested that he be
the one to beg. Or actually begging. "I just want to buy you a drink,"
he said tiredly.
"And I just want to move on to someone I can have," Potter said,
perhaps even more tiredly.
"Give me an hour," Draco said. "One hour, and if you choose,
you can move as far as you wish."
With one last, lingering glance at his friends, and a small flick of his
hand, Potter said, "I've an hour to give you."
*
"Butterbeer? Wine? Something harder?" Draco thought choosing the
third might help this interaction immensely, but he wasn't going to push the
issue. There were larger issues to push.
"Mead?"
Draco nodded and signaled to the bartender who cocked an ear. "One mead,
one mulled wine," Draco shouted across the intervening distance.
"Go sit down," the bartender called.
Potter led the way, finding them a table tucked between two others. It was
too tight for Draco's tastes. He could tell that Potter was also less than
thrilled at having people surround him. The place was full of people out to have
a pleasant Sunday afternoon at the local pub, though, and there wasn't much
choice to be had.
When they were seated, Draco took a breath to talk, only to find that he
couldn't remember any of the things he'd meant to say. He cast a silencing spell
around them, a subtle one that made Potter smile a bit. Potter asked, "Is
what you have to tell me that interesting?"
"I didn't think so, but with you everything seems to get more
interesting than it originally was."
Potter nodded dolefully. "Fair point. That alone would be good reason to
stay away."
"That, and your penchant for trouble and the fact that you've never
liked me and the fact that I genuinely do care for and love Severus."
The bartender showed up with their drinks. Potter took a long pull. "If
you brought me here to tell me all the reasons you don't like me, honestly,
Draco-"
"That's the problem isn't it?" Draco sipped at his wine neatly.
"There are reasons, so very many reasons, for me to accept your defeat and
let you walk away. All of them are good, solid, smart reasons."
Harry looked away.
"And none of them have to do with me not liking you."
Harry's head whipped back so fast Draco was a little worried it would hurt
later on. Draco said, "If I invited you to tea now-"
"There would still be all those reasons. There would still be
Snape."
"Severus can be surprisingly flexible in the way he views tradition,
morality, sex. You." Draco pursed his lips. "That last one being the
most surprising."
"Yes," Potter said.
Draco fought for a way to explain how it wasn't a sign of complete impending
insanity, either. "When I was sixteen, Severus swore an Unbreakable Vow to
my mother to help me in any way he could. It was a specified Vow, and he's long
since fulfilled the terms. Only, you wouldn't know it."
"This is his way of helping you?"
Draco took another sip. "I think he understands it to be more
complicated than that. He's not entirely sure-" he swallowed convulsively,
"he's less than positive about the efficacy of the cure."
"And I'm his, what, security plan for you?" For all that the words
sounded it, Potter's tone wasn't hostile. Draco thought he might have detected a
hint of jealousy, however, and he wondered at whom it was aimed.
"You're something he thinks we should try. In case it works." Draco
considered telling Potter what Lupin had said, that Potter was nigh well
genetically inclined to find this sort of thing appealing, but Draco knew that
Potter cherished the few untainted memories he had of his parents. He couldn't
really predict how Potter would react to the news of his parents' sexually
liberated practices.
After a bit of a pause, Potter admitted, "I'm not sure I can risk it not
working out."
Draco gaped. "You're Harry Potter."
"Well, all right, good that one of us knows who I am. Care to explain
that concept for me?"
"Your name is practically synonymous with
taking-that-huge-bloody-risk-that-nobody-expects-to-go-your-way. But it always
does."
"Oh?"
"The Tri-wizard Tournament, the Dark Lord, about six of your exploits as
an Auror, that bloody school you left the corps for- People have started saying
the 'Potter touch' where they used to say Midas."
"Stands to reason my luck generally fails in other places, doesn't
it?" Potter asked, looking vaguely sickened at Draco's revelation.
Draco never really paid attention to all the whisperings and articles
surrounding Potter's love life, but he caught the inference. "You can't
imagine for a second that we won't be like anything you've ever had
before?"
Potter stared at Draco for a second. Then he laughed, the small, genuine
sound bubbling off his lips. "I can't imagine that you
would be."
Draco raised his glass to that.
*
Malfoy began sending Harry letters. Notes, really. Little notes to let Harry
know how their day had gone, that the twins were driving him to homicide, to ask
how Harry was, to tell him, "We completed the second stage. You should come
say hello."
Harry followed up on the suggestion. He brought wine. Good wine. Or so
Neville, who knew about things like grapes, had told him. It must have been
passable, because Malfoy poured them each a glass without saying anything, which
was more encouraging than any response Harry could have reasonably predicted.
Malfoy also served finger sandwiches. Harry took more than his fair share,
not having eaten since his morning cup of coffee. Snape said, "Maybe you'd
like to stay for dinner."
Harry flushed. "Busy day."
"It's that time of year," Snape said, with the air of someone who
had lived by an entirely different calendar than the rest of the world for far,
far too long.
"Mm," Harry said. "It's more than that. We've had three
children turn out to be squibs in the last year, a far larger number than ever
before. Two of the children are showing signs of a troubled home life since it's
become clear that their magic isn't developing, and the third is having problems
socially. Hermione and I have had to scramble to put together activities to help
the kids understand and handle difference."
Malfoy sipped at his wine. "What do you do with the squibs?"
"Keep them in the program until that becomes dangerous for them and then
work with the parents to find appropriate muggle schools."
"Do you think the parents actually send them to the schools?"
Malfoy looked genuinely curious.
"In the past, yes. With these two that I mentioned. . .we're working on
making sure the children will be all right. Hermione's about to start up her own
version of Children's Services."
"Children's Services?" Malfoy frowned.
"Muggle authorities will often take children away from homes where they
aren't being treated properly," Snape said, a chalky bitterness underneath
the bland explanation. Harry didn’t completely understand, but he sympathized
all the same.
"In certain ways, wizards are very old-fashioned." Harry picked at
some lint on his robe.
"History and tradition are worth preserving." Malfoy stiffened.
Harry could nearly see the defensiveness rolling off Malfoy. "I'm not
saying otherwise. I'm merely suggesting that protecting children might be more
important than the so-called sanctity of the family, particularly when everybody
knows squib children are at risk. For that matter, so are children infected by
Dark Creatures, and certain children who end up in different Hogwarts houses
than genetic precedent would dictate." He looked at Malfoy hard on that
last.
Malfoy just shrugged. "Most of the time the system works."
Harry barely held back a sound of disgust. He stood. "Thanks for the
sandwiches. I'll get dinner on my own."
"Potter," Snape said, his voice as level as a brand-new desk and as
demanding as if Harry were still eleven, "sit down."
"I'm sorry, professor," Harry was surprised himself at his choice
of address, but didn't regret it when Snape's eyes widened ever so slightly,
"a lack of empathy happens to be one of my larger pet peeves."
"Draco focuses his empathy."
"I am still in the room," Malfoy pointed out. The tips of his ears
were an odd shade of pink.
"Focuses," Harry said to Snape.
"His empathy for those who have lost loved ones is nearly overwhelming.
For children without parents, for people who are alone. What you ask for is for
him to create empathy outside of his realm of experience. Do you believe that's
entirely fair?"
Harry wasn't ready to give up. "He could bloody well try." He
turned his eyes on Malfoy. "You could try."
Malfoy stared at Harry for a bit. Finally he said, "Why is it such a
crime for me to be unable to understand why someone would
want to be taken from his family? Not even Severus wanted
that, and his family was awful."
"Did they feed him?" Harry asked without even thinking about the
question.
Malfoy's eyes went a slate shade of grey. "Of course they fed him. What
kind of family doesn't feed it's child?"
Harry drew his robes around himself protectively. "The kind that
Children's Services removes a child from."
"But that's." Malfoy stopped and then started again, speaking very
slowly, as if slowing his words down would make them more understandable on a
thematic level. "It's their child."
Despite himself, Harry found it somewhat endearing that Malfoy couldn't think
of this in any other terms. He sneaked a look at Snape, who was nearly smiling.
Nearly. Harry said, "I need visual aids," and swiped another sandwich.
Snape said, "Stay for dinner."
Harry nodded; his mouth was full.
*
Harry began brewing with them again. Not the number of hours he had before,
but he would stay for the first hour, maybe two. They never touched him unless
their hands brushed accidentally in the handing of a stirring implement, an
ingredient, a flask. Harry accepted this. Much like taking the small amounts of
food the Dursleys had given him as a hungry child, he knew to take what he could
get.
After the second stage of the cure noticeable physical changes began to occur
in Snape. His skin tone warmed, and his breathing was less labored. Walking,
standing, sitting and other sorts of physical activities still pained him
enormously, and he could only read for short amounts of time. His speaking voice
became less gravelly, however, less pained.
Harry brought a chocolate torte from a little place he knew in Switzerland,
within the distance of a couple of Apparative jumps. He didn't go very often. It
was upscale; Gabrielle had introduced him to it. Harry always felt out of place
inside, even when he'd had her on his arm, all golden and graceful and speaking
perfect French. But the bakery was run by wizards who used only one hundred
percent pure medicinal chocolates in their products, and the end results were
nearly orgasmic.
Harry presented the torte--it had a design etched atop it in the cocoa
powder, a steaming cauldron--with a shy hesitancy. "Um, I thought, to
celebrate. It won't mix badly with the cure, right?" It hadn't occurred to
him until that moment that medicinal chocolate could often be used as an
ingredient in potion brewing, and therefore might contain properties to which
Snape couldn't be exposed.
Malfoy took the torte from him with the cautiousness one would exert with a
child. "Did you make this?"
"No." Harry laughed. "I told you I don't like cooking."
Malfoy looked at him suspiciously. Snape said, "I think he's trying to
intimate that you have a tendency to go out of your way for others when it
pleases you."
"Well, Switzerland's a bit out of the way, I suppose." Harry liked
it though. The mountains were stark and clean and pretty, something he'd always
wanted to see as a child.
"Switzerland?"
Harry couldn't tell, but he was relatively sure Snape sounded amused. Harry
shrugged. "I don't know of any wizarding bakeries nearby."
Snape said, "It shouldn't interfere with the cure in the least."
Malfoy turned toward the dining room. "Dinner, first."
Harry wasn't going to argue. He was hungry. Apparition would do that to a
person sometimes. Dinner was elaborate, three full courses. Harry didn't doubt
for a second that this was Malfoy's own way of celebrating. It was sort of nice
to be allowed in on that, even if he had brought dessert.
Harry knew for a fact that being on the decorating committee didn't always get
someone invited to the dance.
It was reassuring to see Snape actually eating again. He didn't come near to
the amounts taken in by either Harry or Malfoy, but Harry had always had a
fierce appetite when food was available. As far as Malfoy went, Harry knew he'd
been more hit and miss around meals than he was used to of late, and was simply
making up for that when the chance was afforded him.
Malfoy made them wait a bit before dessert. He told Harry about his latest
efforts to create more broad-ranging deception charms for the twins's use on
several products. Harry returned the favor by regaling them with his latest
version of the-things-kids-say-when-they-think-nobody's-listening. Snape didn't
say much, but Harry knew that both of them were keeping an eye on him, watching
for tell-tale signs of amusement or disgust or any of the other emotive clues
Harry had learned how to read. Malfoy was, of course, better than him at it and
knew exactly when Snape was ready to move on to the torte portion of the
evening.
Malfoy served them each up a piece. Harry noticed that his was the largest.
He smiled in Malfoy's direction when the other man was looking elsewhere.
From the first bite Harry was too busy enjoying the dessert to pay attention
to much else. But Malfoy's gasp of carnal delight was hard to ignore. Snape
said, his voice approaching as low and smooth as Harry always remembered it
being, "It is quite. . .
perfect, is it not?"
Malfoy took another bite. Harry tried not to watch the way his throat moved
when he swallowed. Malfoy said, "You do know the only way something like
this tastes better, do you not?"
Harry shook his head slightly. There was something he was missing, he just
wasn't sure what it was. Snape said, "Come here, Potter," and there
was a note of softness on the "Potter" that Harry had never heard
before. Harry went. He stood before Snape who said, "You'll have to
kneel."
Harry frowned but lowered himself onto his knees. Snape said, "What
Draco is speaking of, is the taste of truly pure magic chocolate on someone
else's tongue," and took for himself a taste.
Harry had a mere second to think, "You weren't who I wanted,"
before he was taught the error of his ways, Snape's tongue pressing at his, warm
and slick and bittersweet with the chocolate. Harry grasped for purchase in the
heavy cotton of Snape's inner robes. He barely even felt when Malfoy ran his
hands along his back.
He gasped, perhaps even whined a bit at the crash of air against his lips as
Snape pushed their mouths apart. He wasn't given time to form words as another
mouth covered his and all he could do then was devour. Malfoy's lips were
larger, softer than Snape's and Harry couldn't resist biting at the lower one.
Malfoy bit back.
Snape pulled them apart, keeping Harry balanced even as Malfoy backed away.
Harry panted. He looked up at Snape in bewilderment. "Why?"
Snape smirked. "It seemed like you might need a taste."
Malfoy, primly perched at his chair once more, his fork poised over the
remains of his portion of torte, said, "Finish up, Potter. There's brewing
to be done."
Harry didn't know if anything could taste good again after that. He followed
directions anyway. It was obvious what came of being a good boy.
*
Severus continued to find ways of leaving Harry damp, wide-eyed and silently
aching. Draco waited until one evening after Harry had left to ask, "Is
there some plan that I don't know about?"
Severus quirked his eyebrow. "You aren't enjoying yourself?"
"I've willfully turned down the opportunity to have Harry bloody Potter
beg me four times in the last month. Meawhile, the person I want to be on my
knees sucking off keeps pawning the wizarding world's savior on me instead. Said
man, whom I have always trusted, is keeping me out of the loop as to how he
plans on resolving the aforementioned issues. So that's a complicated
question." Draco slid his gaze lazily over Severus.
Severus closed his eyes for a moment. "I do not feel well enough for
more than what I have been offering."
"I know," Draco said softly. "I'm not asking- I don't want
what you cannot give. I just want what you can give to be mine."
Severus' eyes blinked open and he studied Draco. "Can you not taste it
on him?"
"The only thing I taste with him half the time is the deadly amounts of
coffee he ingests."
"Draco."
"Severus. I don't know what it is you're talking about."
"His desperation. His. . .the way he knows how this works but never
seems to expect it to."
"This is the part where I explain once again that the only person I have
ever romantically loved or cared to love in that way is you, and I haven't a
clue of what you're trying to tell me."
Severus kissed Draco slowly at that. Draco could taste the awe that had never
quite faded from their moments of contact. Severus said, "If he knew how to
beg us for the small touches that we give him, he would." Another kiss.
"You'll never have to beg."
Severus kissed his way down Draco's body, pushing Draco up as Severus made
his progress. He took Draco's cock in his mouth and Draco groaned,
"Severus, no," but put up no more resistance, knowing that anything he
could do would only hurt Severus.
When Severus had swallowed and eased his way back up the bed, Draco turned on
his side to him, trying his best to focus. "I wasn't asking."
"No," Severus said, pain evident in the breath he took just to get
the small word past his lips, "you don't have to."
"I don't like being in people's debt," Draco told him.
Severus well knew this about Draco. "I'll have you work it off soon
enough."
Draco smiled in anticipation. Still, he was not one to be derailed, not even
with long awaited, fundamentally good sex. "Potter."
"He wants what we can give him. Can you tell me that feeling alone isn't
good for you?"
Everything about Potter was good for Draco, except how things got
inordinately more complicated the second they weren't kissing. "I can't
explain this to you, but I don't want to use him. Other than the way he acted at
first he's been, well, good about this. At a time when I really needed
that."
"I don't have a plan, Draco," Severus admitted.
"No plan."
"It. . .happens."
"No, you're pretty insistent on having a plan."
"I thought using him would be fun. I'm having to rethink my original
strategy."
Draco thought that over. "When did you change your mind?"
"I don't know."
Draco just kept looking at him. Severus broke. "When he took the wards
down."
Draco tried to keep from making a noise. "Before even? Lupin?"
Severus curled the corner of his mouth. "That, and your infatuation,
were a convenient bit of luck."
"Why didn't you just ask?"
"You get nervous when we don't have sex for a while. You tend to think
that material and physical attention are the only ways a person can show love.
It's unsurprising, given the team your parents made, but it makes me hesitant to
deal with emotionally taxing issues between us when my ability to pleasure you
is limited."
"If you could never touch me again-"
"I said hesitant, not unable. It's just who you are, Draco."
"You want this."
"I want to see where this goes." Severus ran a finger lightly over
the skin between Draco's eyes, down his nose.
"And there's really no plan?"
"Not an overarching one, as such."
Draco twisted his lips up a bit but settled down into a sleeping position.
"This could get interesting."
"You don't think it already is?"
*
It was almost too much, sometimes, when Malfoy would greet Harry with a kiss.
Granting the action the word "kiss" was nearly laughable. More than
anything it was a swipe of lips, an offhand brush of contact meant to translate
to, "Hello."
For Harry it was a second of connection. The second didn't bother him. The
yawning lack of touch until Snape or Malfoy decided to take pity on him, or play
with him, much later on wore at Harry's reserves. He knew better than to ask for
more. To ask for more was to admit to his own need aloud. This would not only
have the adverse effect of making the need real, it would supply Snape and
Malfoy with even more of a Harry-personalized-offensive-arsenal.
Harry wasn't about to be the one to hand over weapons for the use against
him. At least, not as long as he could resist doing so.
There were times when he came close. There was the Sunday afternoon when
Malfoy decided Harry had best take tea on Malfoy's lap, and had pressed the
issue with one solid arm wrapped over Harry's chest. And the time Harry had been
helping a tired Snape in the lab, and Snape had, for just one moment leaned his
forehead against the back of Harry's neck. Certainly there was the time the two
of them waylaid him in the entry hall and gave him a proper hello kiss.
Harry finally broke on a Tuesday, three days from the completion of the third
stage of the cure. They weren't even kissing when it happened. Snape had
absently skimmed his fingers along Malfoy's leg as Malfoy walked past him. Harry
had never thought of the two of them as openly affectionate but if one paid
attention there were hundreds--thousands--of small touches, of moments when they
stood just a bit too close, of words that meant nothing to anybody but them.
That single touch, one which Harry was relatively sure he hadn't even been
meant to see, everything he wanted from them coalesced, hard and intractable
inside of him. He knew they couldn't give him moments like that, touches that
meant nothing more than, "I'm still here." He knew that.
"Please," he gasped. "I can- Anything."
Snape said, "Have you completely lost your ability to form grammatically
correct sentences, Mr. Potter?"
Malfoy said, "You can't touch him."
Harry knew all about warnings with more than one meaning. Harry asked,
"You, then?"
Malfoy and Snape shared a look. Snape said, "The idea of watching isn't
entirely abhorrent."
Slowly, Malfoy turned his gaze back to Harry. "Anything?"
For one brief, oddly beautiful moment, Harry quailed and
nearly ran. His gaze caught on Malfoy's fingers, long and resting gently on the
sleeve of Snape's robe. The fear didn't exactly leave him, but it was washed
underneath a deluge of far more important need. "Just promise you'll touch
me."
Harry wasn't sure exactly what he'd said, but Malfoy's predatory look
softened slightly. He muttered, "Material and physical."
Harry didn't understand, but he wasn't about to interrupt Malfoy's thought
process, not when he was pretty sure it was going in the direction he wished it
to. Sure enough, Malfoy curled his upper lip a bit. "Our room," he
said. "Oh, and I don't want to have to bother undressing you when I get
there."
Harry's glance flickered in between Malfoy and Snape. The latter looked wryly
amused. Harry was relatively positive he should leave the house and not come
back. Instead he made his way to the two men's shared bedroom and dropped his
clothes in a hasty pile in the corner. He stood in the center of the room,
unsure of whether Malfoy had meant for him to be on the bed or not. In the lack
of any specific instructions it seemed best just to wait. Harry forcefully
didn't think about what he was sacrificing for the reward of touch. He just
needed to get this out of his system, that was all.
Then he could leave and not look back.
Malfoy entered the room by himself. Harry peered behind him intently, but
Malfoy stepped inside the room and closed the door. "Scared, Potter?"
Harry smiled at the familiar challenge, and said, "You wish."
What Harry wished was that he was as foolhardy as he'd been in second year,
when he hadn't known enough to feel frightened.
Malfoy stalked toward him, fully dressed and completely in control.
"You're far more powerful than either Severus or I."
"Combined you might-" Harry stopped at the look Malfoy gave him,
and nodded.
"That sets us ill at ease." Malfoy crossed his arms.
"And humiliating me equals the score?" Harry might not appreciate
it, but he could understand the impulse. Lord knows he'd had it with the
Dursleys more than enough times. Overwhelmingly without nudity involved.
Malfoy asked, "Humiliating you?"
"I did just beg and then run like a kicked puppy at your command before
undressing myself for your pleasure."
"Humiliation wasn't the point." Malfoy brought out hands warmed
from his body heat and the inside of his robes and laid them gently over Harry's
shoulders.
Harry closed his eyes at the embarrassing swell of pleasure caused by even
that slight touch. "Then what was?"
"In order for us to trust that said power differential won't be an
issue, we need to know that you trust in us. Enough to obey and realize that we
won’t allow you to be hurt."
"Why is it important that you trust me?"
Malfoy blinked. "I don't understand."
"For you this is just. . ." Harry trailed off.
"Do tell, please Potter."
"I thought you were, that is," Harry faltered, "I thought
maybe your sex life needed some spicing up and I provided an opportunity."
Malfoy moved his hands up, covering nearly all of Harry's neck with them.
"You helped us when nobody else could have or would have."
"There was a Life Debt-"
"Despite the argument I put forth, we both know you could have refused.
It wasn't my life."
"Good enough."
"This isn't about Severus and me getting bored with each other."
Harry made sure to have direct eye contact as he asked, "What is it
about?"
Malfoy smiled wryly. "Don’t know. Want to find out?"
Harry, to his consternation, really, really did.
*
Harry tensed when Malfoy's whispered spell curled itself around his wrists
and ankles, his chest and stomach, binding him face upward on the bed. Snape had
settled himself in a large armchair directly at the foot of the bed, where
nothing would escape his notice. Harry was more concerned about his inability to
escape, full stop. He tried to quell down on his incipient terror. His stomach
was having none of it, clenching and very nearly heaving. He didn't notice he
wasn't breathing until black spots began to appear at the edge of his vision.
Why Malfoy would do something when he knew, when he had found Harry bound in-
"Harry," Malfoy called him back to the present. "Feel what I
haven't taken from you."
Harry tried to follow the instructions, tried to figure out what they meant.
Panicked, he nearly resorted to Legilimency before he caught
on. Legilimency. He still had his magic. Before they had
given him potions (ones he still suspects were of Snape's making) to stifle
that, but if Harry wanted to he could reach out and overpower Malfoy's magic.
"Oh."
"You're stronger than either of us," Malfoy said again.
Harry relaxed into the other man's magic, surprised to feel that the bonds
didn't scrape at his skin. The Healers had done away with the physical abrasions
all along Harry's body from the ropes. There were no scars where anybody else
could see them. In his head, however, Harry could often still feel the damage.
After a moment, Malfoy asked, "All right?"
Harry searched, found his voice, and said, "All right."
He was rewarded by the touch of Malfoy's tongue on one of his balls. Harry
arched up into the bonds, nearly glad to have the support system along with the
inability to move. Malfoy slid his fingers in between Harry's skin and the
invisible magic holding tight over his stomach.
Malfoy took his time with the one ball before moving on to the other. When he
finally withdrew, Harry whimpered to see him leaning back, obviously not intent
on touching Harry's cock even just a little. Harry felt the tap of Malfoy's wand
against his skin a second before the bonds multiplied, wrapping over his legs
and his shoulders, his cock. Another tap and he was moving,
flipping over, his arms and his legs stretching within the bonds to hang
stomach-down from the bedposts. It should have been uncomfortable but the magic
at his chest and stomach kept him comfortably cocooned.
At his back, Malfoy asked, "Harry?"
Harry felt for his own magic again. Still there. "Please talk."
"I'm going to flog you," Malfoy said. Harry stiffened. Malfoy made
a 'tsk' sound with his tongue. "Not whip, Harry. Not cane, not paddle, not
even a crop. Certainly not a cat. If you need me to stop, say. .
.Hogwarts."
Harry repeated the word inside his head. It was a good choice. Even with
everything he had undergone within its walls, Hogwarts represented safety to
him. Home. Harry marveled at Malfoy's insight for a moment before the first
stroke of the flogger caught him. It was. . .soft. Suede? Silk? Something soft,
almost a whisper across his skin. His cock protested against its equally soft
bonds.
"Harry?" Malfoy asked again.
"Just," Harry gasped at the warm impact of a second stroke,
"count, or something. I need to hear-"
"Three," Malfoy said, and came through with the promised stroke. He
paced them, speeding up at times, slowing down again. Harry lost himself in the
build up of heat, they way the bonds would give just enough for him to move with
the blows, the sound of Malfoy's steady, unfailing count.
At thirty-five maybe, forty perhaps, when the intensity of it was becoming
too much, too much, too much, Malfoy stopped. Harry was about
to remind him to talk when the wet heat of Malfoy's tongue made contact with
Harry's bum and Harry couldn't remember what words meant, let alone why he had
thought them so important.
Fingers joined the tongue at some point, fingers as wet and nearly as warm as
the tongue and Snape was saying something, ". . .beautiful. . .abandon. .
.hands" something, but all that was important was the slide of voice in
time with those fingers, the tongue.
Harry missed the tap of Malfoy's wand that resituated him into a sling-like
bond. He hung, ankles suspended above his shoulders, hands bound at his sides.
Malfoy knelt up on his knees, aligning his cock with Harry's ass. He threaded
his fingers into Harry's, and leaned in for a kiss, the first one since all this
had started. When he leaned back he said, "Harry, listen to me."
Harry was having a hard time understanding words, let alone finding them.
"Huh?"
"Harry, when you're ready, say 'Severus.'"
"Severus?" The word felt unfamiliar on Harry's tongue.
"He'll release the cock ring."
"Severus," Harry said again.
Malfoy smiled. "Not yet, Harry. Not until it can't wait," and he
slid in all at once, smoothly and deep, so deep. Harry forgot how to breathe.
Malfoy bent over and connected their mouths, breathing gently into Harry's
until he remembered, "Yes," that was how things worked. He nearly
forgot when Malfoy pulled almost entirely out and then slid back in, over and
over again, varying the pace and the amount of withdrawal, but not the depth or
the drag of his cock over Harry's prostate.
Harry wanted to call out that word, the word he'd been given as a way of
collecting his prize but dimly, dimly he could recall that this was about trust,
about them trusting him and it seemed less than honest to give in even a second
earlier then he absolutely had to.
So it was that when the word did finally spill off of his lips it was nearly
by accident, a pure side-effect of Malfoy pushing in with all of his weight,
pressing Harry into the depths of the magical bindings. He couldn't tell if it
sounded frantic or merely ready. He couldn't even feel the
removal, just the sudden unbearable pleasure of completion, just Malfoy's hands
on Harry's chest, Malfoy's mouth on his forehead.
Harry thought he might have passed out. He couldn't remember Malfoy
finishing, couldn't remember anything but the world sliding into focus a few
minutes after it had all ended. Malfoy's hands were still intertwined with
Harry's.
Over Malfoy's shoulder, Harry could see Snape watching both of them. Harry
smiled tentatively, not even sure his mouth muscles were responding
appropriately.
Snape said, "Beautiful."
*
Malfoy undid the bonds one-by-one. Even still half-stupid, Harry appreciated
the fine control that took. Harry couldn't understand how the removal of each
"strip" of magic could leave him feeling at once so relieved and so
entirely. . .chilled. When they were gone, Malfoy guided Harry down to the bed.
Harry was shaking.
Malfoy frowned. "Cold?"
"Shock," Snape said. His voice wasn't coming from the direction
he'd been sitting the entire time. He'd moved to the side of Harry that Malfoy
wasn't taking up.
Somehow, between the three of them they got Harry under the covers. Harry
wasn't much help at all. Malfoy came with him; Snape remained an anchoring
depression on his other side. Harry lay there, waiting until the shaking wore
off. When he was pretty sure he could remember how to use his legs, he said,
"I should get going."
"Really?" Snape asked, and Harry didn't have to think hard to
recognize his tone as that of amusement.
"Have school tomorrow." While that was certainly true, Harry's
dawning awareness that despite some of the best sex of his life he still wanted
these men to just keep touching him and the accompanying
terror that inspired was really a more significant impetus for his leaving.
"You aren't comfortable?" Malfoy purred. Purred,
the wanker.
"Oh no, this is lovely," Harry reassured him as politely as he
could. Diplomacy was always useful when one was trying to extricate oneself from
a sticky situation. "I just have problems sleeping in unfamiliar
places."
"You still consider this unfamiliar?" Snape sounded vaguely miffed.
"It took me two years to consider my flat familiar. It's hardly
personal." Harry struggled to sit up. Snape's hand pressed down on him and
Harry was unwilling to force the issue, given that Snape still wasn't feeling
all that well.
"If you don't start now, then, the longer we'll all have to wait before
you can get a decent night's sleep with us." Malfoy yawned.
"Look, Malfoy, Snape-"
"I told you he still thought of us that way," Malfoy said over
Harry's head.
"Maybe he isn't used to being on a first name basis with his sexual
partners," Snape said.
Harry growled. "I'm still in the room."
"Harry." Malfoy put a hand on Harry's cheek so that they were
looking straight at each other. "Why do you think I chose bondage? I could
have. . .well, the possibilities of what you were allowing me to do were
endless. Why choose the one thing that I knew was an unpleasant part of your
memories?"
"I thought it was because of that." At least
Harry had thought that, in the first flush of fright. It was easiest just to
fall back on old assumptions and use them to find some anger through the fear.
Behind him, Snape stilled. Something that Harry thought might be hurt flashed
in Malfoy's eyes, but it disappeared just as quickly. Malfoy said, "All
right. I probably deserved that."
Harry couldn't help the, "sorry," that came to his lips. "What
was the reason?"
Malfoy sighed and looked up at Snape for help. Harry rolled slightly to his
side in order to watch Snape, who seemed to be thinking carefully about his next
words. Finally, Snape asked, "I take it you've never allowed anyone else to
tie you up?"
Harry had never allowed anyone else to so much as pin his wrists at his side
with their hands. "No," and just because until now he couldn't have
imagined doing so, he added, "No."
Snape narrowed his eyes. "He explained that this was about trust?"
"About you trusting me." Harry nodded.
"And the other way around," Snape said.
Harry thought about Malfoy's count floating over his head, as warm and
constant as the impact of the flogger. "Implicitly."
"He wanted to show you that he could make the things you most feared
into something that made you think of safety. You did feel safe in his magic,
did you not?"
Harry couldn't say, "yes," aloud; he simply couldn't. He said,
"It was cold when he took them away."
Malfoy's apology to that was a whisper of a finger over the ridge of Harry's
shoulder. He sneaked the same hand down to around Harry's waist and anchored it
there, as warm and solid as the magical bindings.
Harry took a deep breath. "I thought this was just. . ."
"About what Snape and Malfoy wanted?" Snape asked, a small sneer
making the question sharp.
Harry searched for the right explanation. Finally he settled on, "Things
don't normally go the way I wish they would."
"What did you wish for with us?" Snape asked, whispering the
question into Harry's ear.
"I didn't- It wasn't-"
Snape laughed.
Harry pulled his thoughts together. "I haven't wished coherently in a
long time. It's useless."
"But the wish felt like something," Malfoy said knowingly.
Harry closed his eyes, the other man's breath still a lingering presence
against the side of his neck. "It felt like this."
Snape said, "Stay, Harry," punctuating the sentiment by carefully
arranging himself next to Harry under the covers.
In light of the way the offer felt, Harry figured sleep could wait at least a
few hours. At least.
*
Hermione was waiting for Harry when he got out of teaching his first class of
the morning. "Not to sound clichéd-"
Harry walked alongside her as they made their way back to the office area of
the school. "Why, when it's worked so well for you all these years?"
Hermione shoved at him gently. ". . .but you look different this
morning." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Harry glanced sideways at her. "You are kidding,
right?"
"I've known you a very long time, Harry Potter."
"Too long," Harry grumbled. Then, in retaliation, he asked,
"What did Draco blackmail you with?"
"First time I've heard you call him Draco."
"I'm working on it. Don't change the subject."
Hermione had the grace to look chagrined. "He said he'd come here. Make
a scene. I didn't think you needed that on top of everything else."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry wasn't angry. He didn't know if he
would have been had things not gone so. . satisfactorily. It wasn't like her,
though, to keep things from him. That was more his style.
"Because I wasn't sure he was going to show. Even given the blackmail.
He's Malfoy."
"Yeah."
"Harry." Hermione sounded like she didn't want to talk about
whatever she was about to bring up. "Have you. . . That is, well, Ron
seemed somewhat unaware that you had even been in regular contact with
Malfoy."
"Would you believe me if I said that at first it was that I didn't think
it was anything and then when it clearly was I didn't know how to explain what
had been happening and it all just got completely out of my control?"
Hermione was still for a couple of seconds. Harry could see her untwisting
his twisted pile of an explanation. Finally, she smiled a bit. "Actually,
that was almost exactly what I had assumed."
While Harry knew that anything he did to upset Ron would eventually be
forgiven, that didn't stop his nerves from rearing their heads. Harry tried his
best to avoid having to be forgiven, particularly by Hermione and Ron. "Is
he-"
"I ran a bit of interference."
"A bit as in 'I owe you my first born' or a bit as in 'he was
surprisingly calm once Vi and I got the first three drinks in him'?"
"The former. You could ask Vi about the latter. I left fairly early in
the evening."
Harry slipped inside his office. Hermione followed, shutting the door behind
them. Harry looked at her apologetically. She laughed. "Harry, he loves
you. Even when he's being Ron, he loves you."
"I'm sleeping with two people who were probably higher on his list of
mortal enemies than Voldemort."
"I do hope it's more than just sleeping," Hermione said lightly.
"And the willingness to stand up to megalomaniacs with a penchant for
casting Unforgivables for someone isn’t limited to life-and-death battles of
good and evil. Also, isn't this sort of similar to that?"
Harry threw a crinkled-up memo at her. She caught it, laughing. "Look,
just go talk to him. He's doing that thing where he thinks you don't trust
him."
"I'm an idiot."
"Yes," Hermione said, succinctly. "But you're my idiot."
"How does Neville feel about that?"
"We all make exceptions for you, Harry, we always have."
"Perhaps that's why I'm shite at relationships."
"Or perhaps the people you've chosen before have made the wrong types of
exceptions."
"Oh, there's a right type?"
"I'm not a fool, Harry. Emotionally or otherwise. I make the decisions I
make in regard to you because you've earned whatever rights I grant. Same with
Neville and Ron and even Ginny."
"And Draco and Severus?"
"I've got my eyes open."
"Well," Harry said, "that's one of us."
But he trusted her sight.
*
Ron, never one to beat around the bush, answered his door for Harry. He
didn't, however, let him very far into the house before saying, "As
everyone knew before me, I'll assume any objection I could have raised has
already been covered?"
"Can we do this over tea?" Harry asked.
"I'm likely to dump it on your head."
Harry sighed. "What would you have said?"
"That you were barmy."
"And that would have been so different to say then as opposed to
now?"
Ron spoke more loudly than strictly necessary. "Then as opposed to now?
What is that- Oh bloody hell, Harry. Tell me you haven't gone and slept with the
Terrible Two."
"Well, Ron, we can't all date a string of gorgeous and famous women and
know that they're actually dating us for who we are rather than our name
recognition." Harry knew he sounded tired. He wouldn't mind it winning him
some pity points from Ron. There were few people he would take quarter from, but
Ron happened to number among them.
"I’ll have you know that my name is nearly a household word." Ron
didn't say it bitterly. In fact, Harry knew he was already thinking about other
things, so he stayed quiet and let that happen. Ron finally said, "They
made you miserable, Harry. And you sometimes have this thing where you don't
know how to be happy."
"It's not that," Harry said, pretty sure that he was right.
"So they make you happy?"
Harry closed his eyes. "There are moments of that."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know, but you have to admit, it's something."
Ron leaned up against the wall. "Yeah, all right. You deserve
better."
Harry called up his best puppy-eyed expression. "You think you can
restrain yourself around the tea, now?"
"Oh, for- Come on, then." Ron ambled down the hallway and off to
the left, into his kitchen.
Harry asked, "Maybe some of those scones you keep around?"
Ron looked over his shoulder. "You been eating?"
"Draco makes sure I have dinner."
Ron's easy motions faltered for a mere instant. "Huh."
"I'd think that he just liked his men with a little body to them, but,
well. Severus."
"You're going to have to not call them by their first names around
me."
"Ron," Harry said. "Can you truly not imagine that this is
hard enough in my head without you making extra trouble?"
"Can you not imagine that I think I should make it a
little harder anyway?" Ron slammed a tea cup down hard enough to break it.
He fixed it with a rather emphatic reparo.
Harry looked at the cup. "What would be good enough for you?"
"Not for me-" Ron spun around to look at Harry.
Harry wasn't going to back down. "For. You."
"Can you even trust them?" Ron asked, his voice just the tiniest
bit plaintive.
The remembrance of magical chords whispered over Harry's skin. "Yes. I
can."
Ron seemed to take in Harry's lack of hesitation. He poured the tea, his
concentration a little too focused for something routine. When he looked up he
said, "That isn't exactly something you give away."
"I'm past my death wish days."
Ron handed him a cup. "Not funny."
Harry stole a scone. "They don't want to hurt me. I can't exactly tell
you what they do want." He took a bite. "I can't exactly tell you what
I want. All I know is that I've been able to eliminate that as a
possibility."
Ron sipped at his own tea. He said softly, "You can hurt someone without
intending to."
"Yeah, we've done that to each other once or twice."
Ron's smile was knowing. "There's that."
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I didn't think it was anything. Then
it was, but I didn't know what it was so it was hard to talk about. And then we
were here, and I was without a Time Turner."
"Messing around with time's bad for you anyway."
"Forgiven?"
Ron just pushed the entire plate of scones at him. "You're bordering on
ugly with the weight-loss, mate."
Harry took another scone, too relieved to bother coming up with a suitable
response.
*
The third stage of the cure had to be taken in specific doses over a period
of four days. On the second day, Draco sent Harry a letter at the school:
The twins keep all types of topical potions at their place. Stop by
there and see if they have any chocolate-based ones?
Harry had learned how to read Draco's handwriting. There were stresses in all
the wrong places.
Severus had reacted so well to Harry's torte that he and Draco had
immediately begun exploring other ways of treating the symptoms of the Legacy
with chocolate. To Harry's surprise, there were several ways in which medicinal
chocolate could be ingested or applied, not the least of which was topically.
Such a method required supplementary ingredients, but could also act with far
more expediency than other options.
Harry bailed out on Hermione early. He said, "Can we reschedule the
faculty meeting?"
She asked, "How's Snape feeling?"
"I have notes about the new textbooks and everything." Harry liked
being in charge of the new curricula, it was sort of exciting to see things
changing all the time. Particularly in regard to advancements in the different
magical fields.
"On your desk?"
"In the notebook you gave me for Christmas." It was bound in red
leather with the letters "H" and "J" and "P" done
in calligraphy and gilded. She had told him it was for special things, but Harry
thought the school was special. Hermione and he had put it together and made it
work all by themselves.
"Send them both my best." Hermione waved him off.
Once he got there, Harry tried to be patient with the twins, who legitimately
didn't know what was going on. Granted, they probably wouldn't have stopped
their teasing if they had. He found what he needed and promised to stop by some
day when he didn't need a favor before Apparating to Severus' and Draco's place.
The door was open to him as it had been since that night
and Harry went straight to their bedroom. He opened the door quietly, glad he
had thought to do so when a mere peek proved that they were both sleeping.
Harry tiptoed to Severus' side of the bed. He laid a Calming Spell over the
man before unstoppering the cocoa-based potion and pouring a little onto his
hands. It smelled more like cinnamon than chocolate, but Harry knew that scents
could be deceiving, particularly to one who wasn't trained to understand their
specifics. Harry brushed aside the collar of Severus' shirt and began by rubbing
a little of the potion into the hollow of his collarbone. Draco had taught him
that trick two weeks prior. From there, it was up the line of the Adam's apple,
and a bit to the side, over where the man's pulse was faint, but steady. Harry
let his hand rest there for a moment.
Severus awakened at the cessation of motion, the Calming Spell keeping his
heartbeat regular. He murmured, "Harry."
Harry tipped some more of the potion into his hand and began rubbing it into
Severus' earlobes. "I'm not sure what this stuff is called, but it's pure
concentrate, so far as I can tell."
"If I die, I'm sure that will be a comfort to Draco."
"As you still have your morbid sense of humor, things can't be as dire
as all that." Harry kept his voice low. In his sleep, when he couldn't
maintain even the most basic of glamours, Draco's eyes were ringed with perfect
circles of midnight black, his cheekbones sharper even than Harry's most days.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like you did me a bad turn all those years ago, saving me from
Voldemort's vengeance."
"Seemed like the right thing to do at the time."
"Gryffindors aren't known for their tendency to think ahead,"
Severus agreed ruefully.
Harry turned Snape slightly onto his side so that he could massage the potion
into the back of Severus' neck and along the upper length of his spine.
"Oh, but we make the moment worth it."
"Potter," Severus said. His eyes closed in response to the gentle
motions of Harry's fingers. "When I feel well enough to do anything besides
lie here, I will make certain you regret your clumsy lewdness of a second
before. And truly appreciate the beauty in well-crafted
anticipation."
Harry was already beginning to appreciate it. In truth, he had been since
that first chocolate-drowned kiss. In that moment his mind had thrown out any
lingering sense of who Severus had been to him in a physical sense, and began to
reconstruct his former professor. Harry wanted Draco. But he had an insatiable
curiosity about Severus that only seemed to become more urgent the longer it
went unsatisfied. Harry moved his hands from Severus' neck and moved the covers
slightly, tucking up the hem of his nightshirt so as to get at the backs of his
knees, another hot spot for circulatory transportation of externally applied
potions.
Severus panted a little at the touch of Harry's fingers to that spot. Not a
good pant. Harry asked, "Too much?"
"Nerves a bit raw there."
Everywhere, really. Harry lightened his touch from a rub to a caress.
"Better?"
"Manageable," Severus bit out. "Did you Spell me? I can't yell
at you quite properly."
"I didn't want you to hurt something if you panicked upon waking."
"How considerate of you."
Harry ignored him. "I'm just going to work the backs of your ankles and
then you can fall right back asleep."
"Regret, Potter."
"Promises, Severus."
*
The worst came after the final dose of the third stage. Draco met Harry
outside his bedroom door with a, "Heard you coming."
Harry thought it more likely that Draco had taken the effort to spell the
house to tell him when Harry showed. He didn't rub it in. Instead he said,
"I came right after school," and brushed his fingers tentatively
against Draco's. While Harry had figured out that Draco needed touch every bit
as much as him, and for vastly different reasons, it was still a bit hit and
miss as to whether Draco would accept touch from Harry. Harry understood how a
person could trust someone not to hurt him and still have the muscle-memory of
distrust overrule that, so he never pushed the issue.
To Harry's surprise, Draco didn't just accept, he melted
into Harry. Draco was roughly the same height as Harry, if not an inch or so
taller, but he managed to tuck his head beneath Harry's chin. Their chests
rested tightly up against each other.
Harry reacted instinctively, responding in the way he knew he'd want Draco to
react if Harry were the one reaching out for affection. He curved his arms
around Draco, pressing his hands over shoulderblades and spine and anything he
could reach. "Shh," Harry said, although Draco hadn't made any noise.
"He's fine," Draco said, "he's fine," and Harry knew
self-reassurance when he heard it.
"Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better." It
was a cliché, Harry knew, but one that he'd found the truth of the hard way.
Draco's breath was a bit unsteady against Harry's neck. "Stay for a
bit."
"All night, sure."
"You don’t sleep when you're here."
Harry wasn't sure that Draco had noticed he wasn't exaggerating about that.
"There are other reasons to stay."
"Are there other reasons to skip meals?"
Harry squeezed his arms ever so lightly. "You think I'm lying to
you?"
"I think you're mildly cracked."
Harry couldn't read Draco's tone. Finally he settled on a probing, "You
like it well enough when we're in bed."
"I like it well enough almost always. Doesn't mean we shouldn't work on
finding some sort of human-compatible reparo."
Harry bit back a laugh of pure, utter happiness. "Well, one problem at a
time."
After a second, Draco said, "I've been trying. I can't seem to let go
just yet."
Harry bent his neck and touched his face to the top of Draco's head. "A
few more minutes won't hurt anything."
"All day, he's been-"
"And you've been here, by yourself. But that's all done."
"I never thought I'd need- It's. . .you mustn't think that we haven't
been all right all these years. He's always been able to provide the things I've
needed, and I'd like to think that he feels the same way."
Harry did laugh a bit at that. "Have you never once noticed the way he
practically gravitates to you, physically? If you haven't been everything he's
needed, you've been everything he could have possibly asked for."
"He's been both for me," Draco said softly.
"And you think that we are the same things to all people? It doesn't
work like that."
Draco asked, without venom of any sort, "And you would know how?"
"That's not so different from how other things work. I've had friends
since I was eleven."
"I had minions when I was three."
"I believe you," Harry said with a dose of fondness he would not
have believed possible. Draco shifted slightly in his grasp. Harry asked,
"Ready?"
Draco slid his hand up Harry's arm and latched on before extricating himself
from Harry's grasp. "Don't- Just let me hold on."
Harry was hardly going to complain.
*
Once through the worst of the third stage, Severus began to truly improve.
Harry, who had never prided himself on his attention to detail, could hear the
difference in his breathing patterns, see it in the way he moved, even
feel it when Severus would on occasion throw a vaguely
thoughtful glance his way.
Roughly a month into brewing the fourth stage potion, Harry received a note.
It showed up at Harry's flat just as he was leaving for work.
I believe I promised you regret as you'd never known it
before.
Although Harry lived alone, it was spelled so that only he could read it.
Harry nearly orgasmed right there.
He was catching on enough, however, to know that this was part of the game.
He poured himself another cup of coffee and went to educate children.
He caught up with Hermione after first period. He asked, "I know we had
that finances meeting planned this evening, and that the books have to be
finished by the end of the week, but I don't suppose we could move the meeting
to tomorrow?"
Hermione looked distressed for a moment but then seemed to pull herself
together. "I can reschedule a bit." Then, with a thoughtful glance at
him, "You're no good to me like this anyway. Go get whatever it is out of
your system."
Harry Apparated to the Malfoy-Snape house as soon as the final child had left
the premises, was inside the door a minute later, and in the sitting room twenty
three seconds after that. He stood in the doorway and stared at Severus, who sat
regally on the sofa. "Please," Harry said desperately.
Severus made a "tsking" sound. "Impatience is such an
unattractive trait in a young man, Harry."
Harry noticed Draco off to the side, thrumming with a fair amount of
anticipation himself. Harry said, "Impatience would have been me at your
door at 6:07 this morning."
"I think, just this once, I'm going to have to disagree with you,
Severus." Draco's voice sounded throaty, ready. "Patience is
infinitely less attractive."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Younglings." He leveled his gaze at
Harry. "Stay where you are." He didn't add the "or else" but
Harry was smart enough to know there was one. And to realize that he didn't want
to find out what would happen if he ignored the unspoken threat.
As if dismissing Harry's presence completely, Severus turned to Draco and
ordered, "Come here."
Harry didn't think he'd ever seen Draco move so fast in his life, including.
. .well, including all the times that there had been lives at stake. Draco was
usually conscious of how he moved, how he looked, how his presence affected
others, particularly Severus. Now, though, there was nothing, just the
undeniable need to be in Severus' arms.
Harry watched as they flowed together despite Draco's haste, as Severus' lips
pressed against Draco's, as Draco's hands clasped firmly around Severus' ribs,
caressing and cradling. He stayed where he was and suddenly
appreciated just how well Severus knew him. Physical pain, not even the kind he
remembered at the hands of the Death Eaters, was nothing to his need to be
involved by them, included in this, touched.
Draco reached for Severus' buttons and it was plainly obvious how comfortable
he was with this. It was a comfort that even over a year of wanting hadn't been
able to interrupt. His fingers glided over the instruments of ordered apparel.
Harry wondered that he didn't use a spell, it seemed much more Draco's speed,
but there was something so intimate in every slide-and-pull motion of his
fingers. Harry would have been content with that, even that, even something that
didn't involve skin.
Still, he stayed where he was. He had never before wished to be back in his
cupboard, never thought about how merely hearing the laughter and love taking
place outside of that prison was preferable to seeing it. Seeing it and knowing
it wasn't his to take. Knowing he wasn't part of it.
Buttons finished, Draco advanced in his undressing efforts. He was whispering
things, "Please," and "So long," and "My way," and
"Please."
Severus gave him a smile that Harry had never seen, but he knew what it
meant: Yes.
So Draco went slowly, revealing Severus' skin slowly, like one might a secret
that he had kept for a long time. Harry saw them as secrets that they were
letting him in on but only enough so that he would know when things were
private, strictly for them. Harry tried to learn, he did, but there was so much
of Severus' skin, long and white white white. Draco's mouth was nearly always
against it, not ever in the same place.
Harry swallowed back his own need and anchored himself by curling his hands
against each side of the doorframe.
Draco undressed for Severus, then. He had regained his sense of pacing by
this time and was performing. He watched Severus watching him, and peeled back
each piece of clothing as if what waited underneath was a revelation. For Harry,
despite having seen it before, it was.
When Draco, golden, sharp, fluid Draco, was completely undressed, he slid
back to his knees and stopped messing around with his mouth. Severus panted,
harsh and nearly pained, at the contact of Draco's tongue with his cock. Draco
hooked both of his hands on the undersides of Severus' knees, and kept at what
he was doing.
Harry remembered that mouth, remembered all its tricks and realized in that
moment that Draco must know exactly what tricks work with Severus. Draco's
sexual growth had begun with Severus, and Severus' sexual maturity had grown
with Draco.
Harry tightened his grip on the wood. Like the door to his cupboard, it was
the only thing keeping him where he was ordered to stay.
Severus melted into Draco's ministrations, his body loosening in ways Harry
hadn't imagined to be possible, his sounds perfectly harmonized to the motion of
Draco's head. Despite Severus' obvious pleasure it took a while, quite a while
before he said, "Draco." Harry had never heard someone deliver a
warning in such a clearly plaintive tone.
Draco slid off obediently. He reached to the side and pawed through his
clothes for his wand. Finding it, he first tapped his own leg, then Severus',
then tossed it aside once more. Draco lifted himself onto the couch, supporting
himself on his knees, splayed out on either side of Severus' legs.
Then, without any build up beside a barely-muttered, "Too bloody
long," he slid down onto Severus. The expression on his face betrayed a
momentary stretching burn, and then the spark of Severus'
cock brushing over and past his prostate.
Draco brought his hands to Severus' shoulders, using them as leverage. His
toes curled into Severus' legs, his head occasionally lowered to swipe at
Severus' neck, thrown back against the top of the couch in a sort of contained
abandon.
Harry, although he understood himself to be disobeying the letter of Severus'
command, took a step back. It was either that, or a step forward. His hands,
however, stayed as they were.
Draco said, "Love. . .missed this."
Severus said, "Love you."
"Yes, that," Draco agreed before driving himself down with
particular force.
It didn't take long. Harry hadn't imagined it would, not after a wait like
that. Not with Severus still at less than full health. Harry watched as Severus
arched into Draco, wordless with pleasure, with intensity. He watched as Draco
slid into Severus, mewling and whimpering, an entity of completion and noise.
Harry watched as they finished, grasping on to each other even more tightly,
as though afraid to suddenly lose one another in the aftermath, when things
might fly apart without warning. It was. . .forever, Harry couldn't have said
how long before their eyes turned toward him, seeking.
Severus said, "Let go of the door, Harry."
But Harry couldn't. If he let go there would be two options: to go to them,
and accept that this was how things were, him forever at their mercy should they
decide that was their prerogative. Or to leave, and accept that this was how
things were, him forever longing to return and give them leave to treat him this
way, so long as they paid him any attention at all.
"Harry?" Draco asked. He slid backward, off of Severus, not so
graceful as the moment before, or even as he normally was.
"Regret," Harry said, looking at Severus. He could hear in his
voice--to his horror--that he was crying.
Unexpectedly, he discovered a third option. He went to find the nearest
washroom and threw up what little he had eaten that day.
*
Harry wasn't sure whether he'd forgotten to lock the door, or if the house
just responded more readily to its occupants' spells. Shortly after the
dry-heaves began, however, hands were at his forehead and neck sweeping back his
hair, and at his shoulders, flat and supportive.
Someone's wand tapped against his side and Harry felt his stomach muscles
forcibly relax. He didn't want to slump against the toilet, not with the both of
them watching him now, but his leg muscles seemed about as useful as those in
his stomach. He talked his arm muscles into at least keeping him upright.
Severus put a glass to his lips. "Rinse."
Harry took some of the water into his mouth, dutifully rinsing and spitting.
Severus raised the glass to his lips a second time. "Again."
Harry obeyed. On his other side, Draco raised a different cup to his lips.
This one was warm to the touch. Draco said, "Small sips."
The slightly warm hot chocolate should have been too rich, the smell of it
suggested to Harry that it would be. The first small sip completed the work of
the Relaxing Spell, though, and actually began to heal the abused muscles and
nerves of Harry's stomach. Harry wanted to take a larger sip but was used now to
Draco saying things for reasons, and so stayed with smaller intakes.
When he was certain that he could get himself into a standing position and
stay there he pushed himself up from the floor and onto his knees. He said,
somewhat stiffly, "Thank you."
Severus' hands held him down. "I can't believe I'm the one having to do
this, seeing as how I was in considerable amounts of agony at the time we had
this conversation, but can you recall even just a bit the second part of what I
said to you that day?"
Harry took the hot chocolate cup from Draco and took another sip. It was
helping with the pounding in his head as well. He concentrated and came up with,
"Something about anticipation."
"Yes, Harry."
Harry made his brain do the work. "That was just. . .to get me-"
"Not just," Draco said firmly. "That was about us and what we
do and me having him for the first time in over a year and letting you
see that. We're not exhibitionists, Potter. It wasn't just
because you wandered by and we wanted someone to show off for."
"Just was a bad word," Harry said. "I meant to- It wasn't
punishment, it was foreplay?"
Draco rolled his neck in a motion betraying his frustration. Severus, still
behind Harry, said, "Shower first. Then we talk somewhere that is not the
washroom."
Harry gave himself a moment to accept that he was going to have to leave
their presence while still entirely unsure of his place in it, and nodded his
head. Draco, though, helped him to his feet. "Come on, then."
"You're?" Harry asked.
"Well, all three of us are certainly in need of one, wouldn't you
say?" Draco asked by way of response.
Harry didn't care about that, only that he would not be left to himself. He
remembered there being a time when he had thought that being left alone was all
he wanted.
I've been told youth is a time of foolishness, Harry
thought wryly.
For all that the three of them were in a somewhat confined space, naked at
the same time, the shower was just a shower. Severus massaged at Harry's scalp,
and Draco took quite a while letting go of his hands after handing him the soap,
but they all managed to clean themselves and step out from under the spray
without the exchange of a single kiss.
Draco altered some of his nighttime wear with a few easy spells so they would
fit Harry. Harry couldn't help snuffling a bit at his own arm for the smell of
Draco.
Harry wasn't sure who had made the decision of where they would sit and talk.
They ended up in the kitchen, Draco steeping some lavender mint tea and Severus
rummaging around for the half an apple tart they had left. Harry was hesitant on
his first bite of the tart, remembering well how Draco took his apples, but the
sugar and the baking process seemed to have transformed the bitter devils into
something delightfully sour-sweet and crispy-soft.
Harry washed his first bite down with a bit of tea. "Sorry."
Severus raised an eyebrow. Harry shrugged. "I guess I ruined your plans.
And, well, made a mess of your washroom."
"And obviously you don't trust us any further than the distance you can
still see us without your glasses," Draco's observation carried a
deceptively blithe tone.
Harry blinked. Severus sighed. "Has anybody ever told you anything about
the relationship between Black and your parents?"
Harry shook his head vehemently. "We're not talking about them. There
are certain things. . . I accept that you hate them, I even accept why, but you
can't bollocks up what I have left of them. I will leave
before I allow that."
Severus stared at him for a moment. "Interesting boundaries you have,
Harry. However, I hadn't planned to indulge my spite in regard to the characters
previously mentioned."
"Oh," Harry said. Draco rolled his eyes and took a sip of his tea.
Harry floundered around to find the thread of conversation and reinitiate it.
"No, people haven't, that is, I really don't know much at all. Just that he
was my godfather, so obviously they trusted him with me. And she died for me, so
I suppose that must have really been something."
"They were lovers, Harry," Severus said softly.
Harry choked on his tea all the same. When he recovered he asked, "The
three of them?"
"Not many people knew."
Harry looked at Severus. "How did you?"
"There was a long period of my life where I made it my business to know
things. Particularly of the people who might. . . Well."
Harry frowned. "Lovers."
"The wizarding world, Harry," Draco said, "can be somewhat
old-fashioned."
"I'm amazed you've noticed. You've never been much of one for compare
and contrast."
Draco rubbed at the back of his neck. "It's foolish not to know at least
a little about the things which scare you most."
Harry agreed with that. "So then my parents and Sirius, they just didn't
have a way of," Harry searched for the right word. He couldn't find it,
"being what they were. Doing as they did."
Neither Severus nor Draco made fun of his verbal stumbles. Severus said,
"That didn't make it wrong."
Harry smiled a little, his mouth twisting with the attempt to show mirth of
any sort. He made sure to meet Severus' and Draco's eyes before saying,
"Yes, well, they loved each other, didn't they?" He was insanely
grateful not to hear his voice crack on any of the words in the question.
"Do you think us incapable of such an emotion?" Draco asked, a
deceptively mild bent to his voice.
"Obviously not with each other," Harry shot back, unable to help
himself.
"However, people like us must only have so much of such an emotion, a
capacity, as it were, and we have evidently exhausted it on each other,"
Severus told Draco.
"When you say it like that, it sounds stupid," Harry said.
"There's likely a reason for that," Draco told him.
Harry considered the table. "Are you saying-"
"We're saying to give us a chance, Harry. A real chance. Not a chance
that's all about your preconceived notions and you assuming that the things we
do wrong are the only things we do."
"You have to," Harry paused, "You have to realize that I scare
easy."
"The Boy Who Lived?" Severus asked entirely without his customary
sneer.
"The Twice Defeater of He Who Shall Not Be Named?" Draco chimed in.
"Very easy," Harry confirmed.
"Yes," Severus said, looking across the table at Draco, "we
were beginning to notice."
*
Harry sent an owl to Remus the next day that read: I'll bring 'Rina
and the twins home with me after Hermione and I finish up. He left off
the be there but felt that it was rather implicit.
When he'd gotten the kids to eat a snack that wouldn't corrode their insides
and settled them down to work on their assignments, Remus said, "Severus
said something, then."
Harry took the nearest seat. "I'm thirty years old, Remus. There wasn't
a point, any point, at which you thought maybe you could tell
me the truth about Sirius and my parents?"
Remus sat down across from Harry. "Ah."
"Ah?"
Remus waved a hand. "I expected Mr. Malfoy to have said something about
that and in a troubling manner some time ago."
"And you wanted that to be the way I found out?"
"No, Harry." Remus shook his head. "Of course not. Rather it's
that. . .have you ever become so accustomed to keeping someone else's secret, to
thinking that keeping that secret means that you're keeping some part of them,
that it's only the most dire of circumstances that causes you even to speak
about it at all?"
Harry didn't precisely, but he had enough of an idea. He had never been able
to fault Remus for his loyalties. "So you did go to them."
"You knew?"
"I suspected."
Remus considered his hands for a moment. "You were miserable."
"Remus-"
"No, you were miserable, and I thought that perhaps you didn't have to
be and if I've made that worse I can't even begin-"
"You haven't."
Remus looked up. "I haven't?"
Harry shook his head. "Things were looking a bit grim
for a while, I won't lie."
"But they told you about James and Lily and Sirius?"
"To try and make me see that I wasn't just their play piece. Severus
even managed to stop besmirching my lineage for long enough that we could all
have the conversation." Harry didn’t feel the need to mention that this
might have had to do with him having just nearly thrown up his boot soles.
"And you want me to tell you more. Tell you the things he wouldn't be
able to, even if he wanted."
"I want," Harry closed his eyes, "I want to know my parents in
the way that I would have if I'd grown to be this old with them around. The good
things and the bad things and the way they balanced each other out. The way they
made an unconventional relationship work and the worst fights they had. How they
got over the fights. What Sirius thought when I was born."
Harry shifted forward some. "I want you to look at me and see that I'm
old enough for you to stop sifting through your memories, only bringing up the
ones that you think won't hurt me. Do you really want your children to grow up
seeing you as perfection itself? I mean, how does that help them?"
Remus flickered his eyes at the doorway to keep track of three of said
children. "I can't give you what my children have, Harry. No matter how
much you or I might want that."
"No, but you can give me what you have."
Remus inhaled slowly. "How much time do you have?"
*
Draco often found comfort in the things that could be controlled. The
temperature of the house, or how clean the photo frames in the hall were, or the
exact amount of time a soufflé needed to be cooked.
He and Severus were alike in that way, Severus having his potions with their
thirty-eight clockwise strokes and finely ground cockroach eyes. Lucius had
often wanted Draco to focus his detail-oriented mania on "more important
pursuits." Those pursuits usually required other elements--a certain amount
of power, the right position of the sun, though. That defeated the whole point
of Draco's need for predictability and order.
The night after The Talk, he made a soufflé.
A chocolate-hazelnut soufflé topped with vanilla ice cream and a caramel
liqueur.
Harry walked in late with a sheepish expression. "I had to get some
questions answered." He held out an expensive label of cognac.
Draco kissed him with the bottle between them. "We forgive you."
Draco took the bottle from Harry. Harry asked, "Where's Severus?"
"Working on the fourth stage. I offered to help but he's feeling well
enough to need his own space again and the lab is-"
"His domain," Harry finished, his cheeks heating to a pleasant red.
Draco set the bottle on the counter and went to press himself up against
Harry. "You're such a turn on when you're unsure of yourself."
Draco could feel the blush escalate. Harry muttered, "So, always
then?"
"I have a theory about how much you're going to turn me on when you know
you can, as well."
"Tell me the theory."
"I bet you can guess," Draco whispered, and went in for another
kiss. Harry's mouth was pliable and eager against his, taking in what Draco
gave. Draco let the rush of power that Harry's willingness to allow him his way
lent flood through him, let it lend strength to the arms wrapping around Harry,
to the press of his tongue inside Harry's mouth.
There were some details that Draco liked regardless of their conformation to
the dictates of outside forces.
Draco felt Severus come in, the slightly off-feel of his still recovering
body and magic, the space he took up, the comfort that automatically pressed in
on Draco whenever he was near. He knew Harry couldn't feel that last, but Harry
had his own way of sensing these things, as he applied enough force to break off
the kiss and pant, "Severus."
Draco gave his lover a look, mischievous and completely unrepentant. Severus,
interpreting the look correctly, said, "I believe Draco wishes me to teach
you a few things, Harry."
"Later," Draco said, nearly giddy at getting his way. "I made
a soufflé."
Severus said, "Imagine my shock."
Harry clearly did not understand. He didn't ask either. "With mushrooms?
I like mushrooms."
Draco filed the information away into the slowly growing corner of his mind
that housed the things he knew about Harry Potter. "A dessert soufflé, you
perfect little heathen. Have you not had dinner?"
"I have, Remus fed me. I just wasn't going to turn down anything you
offered."
Severus asked softly, "Did he tell you what you needed to know?"
Harry tried to hide his smile. Draco found his utter failure to be something
of a turn-on as well. "And more."
"Then you most likely know better than I do how a relationship of this
sort works," Severus told him.
Harry's look of shock was too comical for Draco to hold back his laugh.
Severus managed, but only just. Draco knew how very close that tremble of his
upper lip meant the other man was. Draco said, "Somehow I'm terribly
certain we all bring our areas of specialty to this endeavor. Now seat
yourselves, and I'll attend to my soufflé."
Severus shared a familiar look with Harry. Draco had never seen Severus turn
that look on anyone other than himself. Draco expected something feral in
response, something primitive and possessive. Instead, it made him look forward
to the events of later that evening all the more.
There were a few things which Draco didn't mind being out of his control.
*
"How would you like a little payback?" Severus asked, casually,
leaning backward in his chair and considering the nearly non-existent remains of
his soufflé.
Draco knew for whom the question was intended. It took Harry a bit longer to
figure it out. Which was part of the fun, of course. When he did his hands
curled into fists, like they sometimes did when he was afraid they were going
to. . .Draco wasn't sure what Harry was afraid his hands were going to do, but
it was obviously something. Harry asked, "Payback?"
He was sweet when befuddled. Truly.
"Well," Severus raised his eyebrow and gave Draco a sideways
glance, "Draco here has tied you up and flogged you."
Severus was never sweet; it was part of the charm.
Harry's look of shock was utterly priceless. "Oh. I haven't any sort of-
I don't really do that. Normally."
"But you sleep with two men every other night?" Draco couldn't help
getting in on this, just a little bit. Severus always made the best plans.
Unsurprising, given how long he'd had to depend on his plans for survival.
Harry's answer, after a bit, was a slow-forming smile. "A boy can hope,
can't he?"
"If every other night is your grand ambition, Potter, we'd best find
ourselves someone more ambitious." Severus looked as though he didn't care.
Harry focused in on Severus. "I don't want to hurt him."
"Did I hurt you?" Draco asked.
"Go to our room, Draco," Severus said. Despite desperately wanting
to know what else Severus had to say to Harry, Draco knew an order when he heard
one. And he knew the only way he'd get exactly what he wanted this evening was
to listen to orders. He went.
He undressed when he got there and laid down naked on the bed. It hadn't been
in the order, but Severus knew how to improvise and unexpected nudity still had
the effect of shocking Harry into that gorgeous reddened state of his.
Draco was not disappointed when Harry walked into the room and said,
"Oh." His mouth stuck slightly in its curved shape and the pinkish
color of his lips crept upwards into his cheeks. Severus smiled wryly. He
Summoned a length of silk rope. Draco's cock jumped nearly out of his skin.
Severus said, "On your stomach."
Draco tried to listen to the words passing between Severus and Harry, but it
was too much effort in addition to trying to figure out whose hands were whose.
Particularly once they had applied the blindfold. It didn't take terribly long
to understand that Severus' hands moved with confidence, tightening the bonds
that he was teaching Harry's more tentative hands to make. Draco knew this
formation, it was one they hadn't played with in quite some time. It bordered on
cruel, tucking Draco's legs beneath him, drawing his wrists up to the nape of
his neck, leaving scant areas of his body uncovered by the rope. Except his
back--his back was completely exposed to whatever torment Severus chose to
inflict.
Draco recognized the crop from its first teasing sting. That would be
Severus. At first the hits done by Harry were obvious. Too light, too heavy,
ill-placed, too quick, too slow. As he learned, however, the hits melded into
each other, until Draco couldn't differentiate one lover's application of touch
and fire to his skin from the other's.
Severus let him sigh and groan and moan and even whimper little words, but
when the first sob passed from Draco's lips, the crop stilled. Severus leaned
over Draco, the heat of his chest almost too much against that of Draco's back.
"Tell me what I can do."
Draco thought about it for a moment, thought about whether he'd had enough.
He trusted Severus, though, to know his limits and it was always brilliant being
taken there. "Anything."
The bindings changed then, and this time Harry's hands were shaking slightly,
but more assured in their workings. Draco felt his arms being brought up, tied
over his head to keep him upright. His knees were bound sideways against his
torso. That burned a bit, but no more than his back and the feeling was almost
companionable.
The first strike of the crop against his inner thigh made Draco jerk in his
bonds. He heard Harry say, "Maybe-"
Severus must have shaken his head or done something, though, because a second
strike came, and a third and a fourth.
Severus let him scream this time, let the pain build until Draco didn't
realize it had stopped when it did, didn't realize it until four indecipherable
hands were working some type of cream into them, something soothing, nearly too
blissful. Draco moaned, "Please."
Severus said thoughtfully, "I think he wants something," and a
long, familiar finger, still covered in soothing cream, slipped inside Draco's
ass.
Draco panted. Severus said, "Join me," which didn't make any sense
until a thicker, less familiar finger, also coated, slid in next to Severus'.
Draco couldn't make a sound at that, it was just too good.
There was whispering and Draco didn't care, didn't care what was said so long
as, "Oh, oh," so long as Severus put his cock inside Draco's ass just
like--Draco's eyes, useless to him anyway, rolled up inside his head--that.
More whispering and suddenly there was a slight burn in his ass, something
else pushing alongside Severus' cock. Draco whimpered a bit, but Severus said,
"Shh," and Draco shushed.
The burn was pretty intense and Draco bit his lip in order to follow Severus'
order but then, when he figured out what was happening, with Severus flush up
against his chest and Harry pressing himself gingerly against Draco's artfully
welted back, the image, the idea was nearly enough to bring Draco off by itself.
He broke his silence to moan, "Harry, in," just as Harry pushed up
that final length.
They were still for a short bit before they began moving together and it was
too much, it was, and Draco didn't care, not at all, so long as they stayed
there because it was perfect. Severus whispered, "You've always been
greedy."
Draco couldn't disagree.
He had no idea if they came at the same time, no idea, because at some point
two hands had intertwined around his cock and begun to work at it, at first too
gently. Draco had growled at that, but Harry had simply laughed, the git.
Eventually, eventually they had given Draco what he wanted. Then he was coming.
His mind filled with pleasure and intensity and his own need to breathe. At that
moment, nothing else could be as important as those things.
It took a while for him to hear the, "Draco. Draco?" that Harry and
Severus were intermittently whispering into either of his ears, to realize that
the blindfold was gone and the room too bright. He said, "Want my
hands," and when Severus gave him back the use of them, he utilized it to
hold both men to him, inside him.
*
Harry thought he was staying quite still. For hours he allowed Draco--who was
quite the active sleeper--to bend and twist and slide over him. He must have
given himself away at some point, as an obviously-awake Severus asked,
"Would a potion help?"
"Did I wake you?"
Harry was beginning to think he wasn't going to get an answer when Severus
said, "Tonight was perhaps a little much. I need a pain reliever."
"Which one?"
"Something light, the levamentum."
Harry didn't even really have to think the spell anymore. Magic always came
easy these days, but more so the spells he had known longer, or ones that had
proven particularly loyal to him over the years. Summoning was nearly like
breathing for him. He would often realize what he had done so only afterward,
when the wizard-raised children or other staff were looking at him oddly, the
children aware that their parents couldn't do such things and the staff faced
with the bracing fact that Harry's fame had a great deal to do with his deeds
and much less to do with who he was, day in and day out.
Severus just took the bottle from him with a tired, "Thanks."
Harry knew the potion had begun its work--they never took long--when Severus
returned to his earlier question. "Now, is there one that works for
you?"
"Not really. And I don't like taking enough to make them work."
"I'll have to see what I can do about that when I've some time for
experimentation."
"That's sweet, but I'll become used to sleeping here and then it won't
be a problem."
"About how long do you think?"
Harry didn't answer.
"I see."
"The trauma had to manifest somehow, I suppose."
"Believe me, Harry. The trauma manifested itself ten times over. And not
just in your sleeping patterns."
"If that's your way of saying that I can't keep it together enough to
suit you, I'm too tired to be playing interpreter." Harry wasn't
particularly upset, though. The thing with Severus, he was beginning to figure
out, was that at his most cruel he was often pretending to be kind.
"It's my way of saying you make things more complicated than they have
to be."
"That's a bit like Dumbledore calling McGonagall twitter-pated, but all
right."
"Twitter-what?"
"Pleasantly mad."
"I picked up on the context."
"I was complaining about having to translate earlier."
Severus' understated laugh seemed to fill the darkness. Harry tried to
breathe some of it in. "This is a bit complicated, really. Even if it
weren't the three of us it would still be three of somebody. But it is us."
"And despite the fact that you can't sleep at night, Voldemort is dead,
Harry. So are Lucius and Narcissa and Bellatrix and quite a few others, largely
at your hands."
"Or yours."
"I like a tidy bit of revenge now and then."
"I thought maybe I was that," Harry said, "for a bit."
"Revenge."
"My dad probably is turning in his grave. Sirius, too."
"There were easier ways for me to accomplish such a goal."
Harry's eyes had adjusted completely to the dark. He rolled over carefully so
as not to wake Draco. He fixed his gaze on Severus. "You don't like
easy."
Harry could see the arm that Severus had around Draco tighten. "No, not
really."
"When I was eleven-"
"I could feel the Mark beginning to pulse on my arm again and was less
than pleased about the situation."
"So you took it out on me."
"For the most part, Harry, I remember Potter and Black as students. I
didn't much see them after that time."
Harry took a second to follow the thought through. "Ah."
"I don't see him when I look at you. Or even a way to get at him."
"Step in the right direction, that is."
There was silence for a bit. Severus asked, "Have you tried
spells?"
"Spells?"
"To sleep."
"They generally have to be done by someone with a great deal of power.
I've a few friends around who could probably. . . I don't like asking. It's sort
of- And then they're there when I fall asleep and I don't trust much of anyone
like that, outside of Ron and Hermione. Neville can do it when he puts his mind
to it. I've asked once or twice."
"Combined Draco and I could probably manage."
"Not until you're better."
"Shouldn't be long now." Severus had the oddest type of optimism,
one based completely on the precepts of reality. Harry admired it.
"Maybe I'll ask then."
Severus disentangled his arm from Draco to bring it up to the back of Harry's
neck. "We would try, for you."
*
When Violet returned from her long-awaited Hawaiian trip with Ron, she wore a
gold band with three black pearls on her finger. Ron wore a look of
shell-shocked satisfaction.
Harry wrangled a little Ron-and-himself-only time, and treated Ron to a
congratulatory pint. He said, "You might've told us what you were thinking.
We would've planned a welcome back engagement thing."
"Believe me, mate, had I known. . . I wouldn't have had Hermione find
out that way. Not that I think- There's always a little, well, you know. I
swear, though, we went on this dive and she came out of the water and was
shining the way the she sometimes does when she's in the sky and I just,"
Ron shrugged, "just asked."
"Ron." Harry couldn't help it; he laughed. "You're the
foremost strategist on the quidditch field that the sport has seen in at least
seventy years. You couldn't, I dunno, think a bit ahead?"
Ron chuckled a bit. "Most of the time, the only thing I can think when
I'm around her is how I want to be around her some more. I suppose in that, it
was a pretty good tactical move."
Harry couldn't refute that. "Ron, um. Not entirely changing the subject
from that last thought, you think you could start getting me at least one extra
ticket to the games?"
Ron took a long pull from his butterbeer. "But however will you choose
whom to bring?"
"Severus really only likes watching when the competition is really good,
he could care less about most of the early season games. And Draco will give his
seat up the minute he thinks Severus might ask."
"I know you pretty well, Harry. I know every single one of the reasons
you don't like to play the name game. All the same, I have to wonder at times
like these why you don't just use the whole 'I'm The Harry Potter' thing. It
would make getting what you want for the people you want loads easier."
Ron's point was valid. He could have a whole stadium to himself for certain
games if he expressed the wish. There were certain debts that were never
fulfilled, and given that several of the key people of the British wizarding
world were ex-Order members, Harry tended to have quite a bit of pull when he
desired. "Because I'm not The Harry Potter with them, and I don't want to
be."
"You always were. I mean, in a different way, but the name still
fit."
Harry tried to explain. "Before I started calling them Severus and
Draco, they stopped being Snape and Malfoy."
"I'm still in an adjustment period with that, just so we're clear."
"Tell me you. . ." not understand, Harry wasn't willing to ask
that, "tell me that this doesn't change things between us."
"You tell me that about me marrying a girl who's not Hermione."
Harry looked at Ron in some surprise. "You honestly think that bothers
me?"
"I feel like I've broken promises."
"It wasn't as though you left her, mate."
"We fell away from each other," Ron said. It hadn't been as neat as
all that, but Harry thought that it somehow fit all the same.
"I like Vi. I could learn to love her, I'm sure. I'm happy for
you."
"I don't like them, Harry."
"I know," Harry started to say, but Ron kept talking.
"I don't like them, but when I look at you lately I see something that I
always wanted for you when we were kids, but had no way to describe, not even to
myself."
Harry shook his head slightly.
"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror, lately? I mean, you look
tired, which isn't surprising, but it wears well on you, which it never used to
do. You look balanced, like you've stopped allowing things that have happened to
tug backward at you. You look," Ron tilted his head to the side, "not
just happy for me, but happy."
Harry fingered the rim of his butterbeer. "So you'll come through on the
tickets?"
"Manipulative bastard."
Harry grinned. It felt like he couldn't stop.
*
There were pictures in the paper after Draco came to their first joint game
with Harry. Pictures with snide captions. Harry didn't actually get the paper,
and Hermione had long learned that he preferred not to know. He wouldn't have
found out at all if Draco hadn't looked so completely shocked when Harry found
him in his kitchen after the longest staff meeting of Harry's life.
Harry wasn't entirely sure what it was that was making Draco look at him as
though he were non-corporeal. He said, "Sorry I'm late. We had to fire one
of our staff. There was a staff meeting to inform everyone of the change and
then it was all a bit like the restaging of- Draco?"
Draco said slowly, "Severus and I had a fight. He's holed up in his
labs. I don't think he's even brewing."
"That's new," Harry said, although he imagined they had to fight
some of the time. Everyone fought.
"Sometimes we both say things we don't mean."
"The two of you?" Harry asked lightly. "Hard to comprehend,
really."
"The fight was over you."
Harry felt sick to his stomach. "And you lost? Well, at least it wasn't
straws."
"Straws? What do- Nevermind, it's probably something inane and
Muggle."
"Just like me," Harry quipped tightly.
"Oh bloody- Not a fight like that, Harry."
Harry had to sit down; the relief was too overwhelming. "Tell me what it
was like."
"I said you wouldn't come back. I said that things like image mattered
to you."
"Wait, image?"
Draco frowned. "Don't tell me you're fool enough not to take the paper
just because it bothers you."
"Fool enough."
Draco looked like he wanted to shout expletives but evidently decided it
wasn't worth his while. He just tromped about the room, finding the paper and
setting it down in front of Harry. Who read the captions and said, "Nice
picture of us, don't you think? We should cut it out."
"Harry-"
"What did Severus say?"
"That the caption was right about me."
Harry laughed. He tried to look contrite at Draco's glare but it was a poor
attempt and they both knew it. "He fights dirty, doesn't he?"
"Well you're not helping any." Draco's tone was angry, but the
words were said softly enough for Harry to know that he was actually covering
hurt.
"Why should I have to? You don't believe Severus actually thinks that.
The two of you are just taking out emotional strain on each other. As far as the
bloody caption, well. Both of us know a good time was had and who we are, both
just as people and to each other. Why should you or I care what this rag dreams
up?"
"You'll still share your tickets, then?"
"I didn't ask my best friend to pull strings just so that I could give
up after one date. It was a good date, too."
Draco smiled at that. "A date, Potter?"
"What would you call it?"
"Something with more dignity."
"I'm not hearing any suggestions."
Severus' voice floated through the doorway. "He isn't maligning your
person, so you wouldn't."
"Shut it, we're not fighting any more and you well know it," Draco
said. He looked relieved all the same when Severus just stepped inside the
kitchen and went to pour himself some water.
Harry declined to mention the complete irony of Severus Snape
defending his person. But he tucked the knowledge away, safe
where nobody, not even Severus or Draco, would be able to find it. "How's
the fourth stage coming?"
"Slowly," Severus said.
"But surely?" Harry asked.
Draco and Severus didn't even look at each other before rolling their eyes at
him.
*
Draco surveyed Harry from over his shoulder. Harry came up and wrapped
himself over Draco's back. "Severus in the lab?"
"Either that, or cheating on us."
"I'm going to be optimistic for the moment."
"As opposed to your normal carrying of the pessimist's banner into the
field."
Harry smiled. He closed his eyes and sunk down a bit onto Draco. "What
are you making?"
"Dinner."
"Oh good, I haven't had that yet. Feel like sharing any details?"
"It's a chicken tikka thing I'm trying."
Harry opened his eyes and looked down. Sure enough, the pan held a vaguely
Indian looking dish. "Where'd you learn about chicken tikka?"
"It was in a cookbook," Draco said defensively. Too defensively.
"You've been buying Muggle books? I didn't know you understood Muggle
money."
"I don't," Draco said, obviously horrified at the mere intimation.
"I didn't know, all right. Wizarding cookbooks don't look all that
different, as food doesn't move in the pictures, or at least, it shouldn't. It
was in with the rest of the cookbooks and I flipped through and it had some
stuff I'd never heard of before, and I wanted to impress Severus."
Harry sifted through the enormous amount of information Draco had just handed
him. "You wanted to impress Severus?"
"This was back when I thought it was the things I did and not the things
I meant by the things I did that would catch his attention."
Harry asked, "When was that?"
"At first, right after I'd gotten us free. When I thought he'd leave me,
since it was pretty obvious he didn't need to save my life anymore."
Harry didn't know what to say to that. Severus hadn't left, so reassurance
seemed pointless. "Why are you just trying the tikka now, if you've had the
book for so long?"
"If you think I'm trying to impress you, Potter-"
"Hadn't suggested anything of the sort."
Draco made a small sound of defiance. "You have to get off me now."
Harry didn't take offense, just backed away from him. "Need any
help?"
Draco threw him a distinctly unimpressed look. "You're about to fall
down, Harry. Go sit."
"I'm perfectly alert," Harry said, managing to hold off on a yawn
until after he'd gotten the words out.
"Well, now that I've been reassured on that score."
Harry took the near-scolding in stride. "I was thinking I'd go home and
sleep, after dinner."
Draco spelled three plates to his side, and busied himself in the minutiae of
dinner preparation. "I could come with you."
Harry tried to figure out if he'd actually heard what he thought he'd heard.
"To my place?"
"Assuming that's where you plan on sleeping."
"Won't Severus have something to say about that?"
"I was planning on you extending the invitation to him as well."
Harry blinked. "Invitation?"
"If you don't want me, Potter, all you have to do is-"
"My bed isn't very big. Not like yours."
"I've seen your transfiguration skills, Harry."
"Oh."
"Does Granger do all your thinking for you?"
"A good percentage," Harry threw back absently, more out of habit
than intent. He was busy considering what Draco had just offered.
"Why?"
"Why would we come back to your place with you?"
Harry nodded.
"You haven't slept since you started coming here. At least not for any
decent amount of time. You're going to keel over from sleep deprivation."
"But if I just go home. I mean, that is, don't take this the wrong way,
but I don't need you there to sleep."
"We like having you to roll over."
Harry asked, "Why?" again.
Draco poked at the contents of the pan in front of him. "Maybe because
you're Harry Potter."
"Why?" Harry asked again, willing Draco to change his answer.
Draco must have heard something in the question. "Maybe you feel
right."
*
Harry's place was more well-furnished than Draco had expected. Given the
amount of time Harry spent at their place, and his deplorably plebian tastes,
Draco had nearly been expecting white walls with the random Quidditch posters
and a mattress lying around somewhere, perhaps even hidden out of sight.
The flat was tiny. Draco knew Harry could afford better. However, it was also
rather domestic. Certainly there weren't many plates or pots or anything in his
kitchen, and what was there was mismatched. His living room offered a matching
sofa and loveseat set with positively decadent cushions, and his bedroom offered
a rather sizeable postered bed. Draco fingered the hangings on the bed.
"Blue?"
Harry looked defensive. "Hermione found some psychiatric study that said
it was a soothing color. And once I got used to sleeping in the bed, well,"
he reached out and fingered the brilliantly soft material of the equally blue
comforter, "I like blue."
There was a small balcony off of Harry's bedroom. It hosted quite a few
potted plants. Severus asked, "You know how to tend?"
"I don't, really. Neville thinks everyone should have plants so he takes
care of them for us. I think they're all pretty easy to maintain, he only has to
come over about once a week."
"It's mostly Flitterbloom," Severus said. "Interesting taste,
Longbottom has."
"I like Flitterbloom," Harry said, peering out onto his balcony.
"And daisies. Petunia never grew daisies, said they were cheap."
Draco laughed, both at the thought of someone named Petunia growing anything
and at the fact that Harry had practically just called himself cheap. He
wandered back into the living room. There were pictures everywhere. They all had
people in them, Lupin and Draco's cousin with their brood, Granger and
Longbottom in a garden somewhere, Weasley and his quidditch tart up on brooms,
people Draco only vaguely recognized who must have been Harry's fellow aurors.
There was a knit blanket thrown over the otherwise inoffensive couch that had
Weasley garishness stamped all over it, and a small collection of books on the
windowsill covering topics from quidditch to the current state of wizarding
education. There were also a few Muggle ones which looked well-pawed.
Severus came out of the bedroom and settled himself on the couch. Draco could
feel Severus' gaze falling down on him. He didn't look over his shoulder,
unaccountably fascinated by the summaries on the backs of Harry's Muggle books.
All of them seemed to be about things that weren't real.
He didn't hear Harry join them and so was somewhat startled when Harry asked,
lightly, but with a note of trepidation, "Do my living quarters pass your
standards of acceptability?"
"For living?" Draco asked, still mostly distracted. "Hardly.
But I suppose for you, they'll do."
Severus made a noise of amusement. Draco put the book he'd been perusing down
and turned to face his lovers. Harry was dressed in sky blue pajamas. For a
second Draco saw the boy he'd always fought with. He blinked and the man was
back again. Harry grinned at him. "They do quite nicely."
Harry was so lamentably middle class. Draco supposed it was one of a plethora
of things he'd have to forgive. Severus, for all his original lack of funds, had
the imagination of someone with money.
Severus' voice had long ceased to sound like an intrusion in Draco's mind, so
it took him a bit to even realize that was where he was hearing the voice, and
not aloud. Severus said, He's falling asleep on the couch.
I suppose we could take the bed, then.
Severus smirked. "Harry."
Harry startled. "Er? Oh, sorry."
As it turned out, Harry's bed, on top of being very blue was exceedingly
comfortable. Draco found himself wondering why it was that he hadn't thought
this idea up sooner. Harry, whom Draco had never actually seen sleep, was
practically a different person in that state. Realizing that Harry was actually
sleeping Draco raised a tentative hand to his back, just to
feel if the muscles were actually as loose as they looked. Harry muttered
something softly, but didn't wake.
Severus said, "Maybe we should get some blue bedding."
"Spells are probably going to be necessary anyway. At least at
first."
"Undoubtedly." Then, with absolutely no change in his tone.
"Suppose we should take advantage of him in his sleep?"
Draco didn't want to admit it, but he'd never felt less like taking advantage
of Harry. Harry's mouth was slack open; his hand was curling lightly into
Severus' skin, as though to reassure himself they hadn't left. There were so
very many things Draco could imagine doing at that moment, running the spectrum
from harmless fun to malicious hexing.
He looked over at Severus, not bothering to hide his confusion. "I think
I'd kill anyone who did."
Severus said, "I suppose I'd best not try, then," and curled over
Harry rather protectively himself.
Draco watched until they were both breathing evenly. Only then did he place
himself so that he would be the first in harm's way and allow himself to be
soothed by Harry's blue confection of a bed.
*
Right before Severus took the potion constituting the last part of the cure,
he said, "This will probably make me lose consciousness for a bit."
"Define bit," Draco said.
"The records indicate a span. My best approximation for my height and
weight and the manner in which the previous stages worked upon me would be four
days."
"Four days?" Harry jumped up from where he had been sitting. Draco
stayed where he was. He had gotten used to Severus' tendency to downplay just
about everything except petty grievance.
Or not so petty.
He considered going over to Harry and calming him, but Harry was amusing and
oddly comforting when he got himself all worked up over things like this. Harry
threw his arms out. "And you didn't feel the need to mention this until
now?"
Severus looked at Harry curiously. "Would mentioning it earlier have
changed something?"
That obviously stymied Harry, as he sat back down with a stumped look on his
face. "Well, no."
"I suggest that for however long it takes, you return to your flat at
night, and sleep, Harry."
Harry actually made a face at Severus. "It's only four days."
Draco thought that rather depended which side of the four days you were on,
but Harry's actions of a moment ago were proof enough that he knew that as well,
so Draco stayed quiet. Severus' look was quite scathing enough.
Harry's gaze traveled between Draco and Severus. "Was that your way of
saying you want to be alone? I thought we'd gone over the whole
you-can't-really-be-subtle disclaimer tag I come with."
Severus rolled his eyes. Draco said, "He just wants to make sure you
sleep. Could you stop being a suspicious prat?"
Harry said, "Oh, hello pot. Yes, lovely to meet you. Charmed, I'm
sure."
Draco laughed. "Shut it."
"Just, I mean, as though I'd be able to sleep anyway. Ah, yes, my lover
is lying unconscious, hopefully in a healing state but these things are always a
bit touch and go, and I'll just be over here, taking a bit of a kip."
"It does sound stupid when you put it like that," Draco said.
"I wonder why that would be," Harry said, with the clear air of the
Long Suffering Gryffindor.
Severus smirked. Draco returned the expression. Harry said, "Right, so
I'll be coming back here after work, then."
"Depending on your tendency toward co-dependence and well-past idiotic
nobility, I brewed you something as well," Severus said.
Harry frowned. "You were supposed to be concentrating."
"We aren't all incapable of doing more than one thing at once,"
Severus told Harry.
Harry let it roll off of him. "You'll have to teach me the skill some
day."
"Threaten me with having to teach you ever again once more and I
will refrain from taking the last of the cure, Potter."
"Yeah, yeah," Harry said. "You brewed something for me?"
"Sleeping potion."
"I told you-"
Draco wondered what Harry had told Severus was, but whatever it was, Severus
cut him off with a sharp shake of his head. "It's a short term solution,
Harry. Just take it the next few nights. Then we'll go back to your place nights
until Draco and I can find a spell to ease the transition from your place to
ours."
Harry shifted in obvious discomfort. Draco said, "If he says it will
work a certain way, it will."
"I know that," Harry said, looking at neither of them. Draco
thought about the way Harry never noticed that he hadn't eaten in far too long
until food was placed in front of him, at which point he would eat as though his
body had no limits on how much it could accept. He wondered if Harry was so used
to things being bad in certain ways that he had become wary of the steps taken
to make them better. Daphne could be like that at times.
Draco left it, though. Harry had survived this long as he was. Either he and
Severus could help or they couldn't, but stripping back the scabs on Harry's
wounds most likely wouldn't help. Instead he asked Severus, "You want
something to drink first?"
Severus cracked the seal on the bottle where he'd stored the final potion. He
looked down at the liquid's surface and then back up at Draco. "I'll see
you when I awaken," was his only answer before he left the room, bottle in
hand, heading for their bedroom.
Harry asked, "Aren't you going to follow?"
Draco answered, "Aren't you going to bloody well touch me?"
Harry had made his way to Draco and wrapped himself around him so quickly,
Draco was left to wonder if he had even asked, or if that had been in his head,
and Harry had just known.
*
At the first hint of conscious stirrings from Severus, Draco was stretched
out alongside him, his lips touching to Severus', like some sort of fairy-tale
gone awry in a pleasant enough manner. Harry watched, expecting to feel the
sharp sting of seclusion any moment. The feeling which filled him in its place
was equally sharp but nowhere near painful. Harry gasped.
"I've barely regained consciousness, Mr. Potter. Do try and keep your
libido under control."
"It's your fault," Harry said, perfectly fine with the dose of
petulance in his response.
Draco laughed. Harry thought it was the first time he'd ever heard the man
laugh without spite or worry or fear interfering with the sound somehow. Harry
knelt at the side of the bed and angled his mouth up. Draco obliged him with one
kiss before turning his attentions back to Severus. "How are you
feeling?"
"Like I haven't moved in a really long time."
He hadn't, either. It had been bothersome enough for Harry, who went to work
in the mornings and came back in the evenings. He could only imagine what it had
been doing to Draco's head. The two of them had moved Severus onto his sides to
prevent bed-sores, but nonetheless, his absolute stillness had been
disconcerting.
Draco had held up fairly well, clinging onto the notion that Severus knew,
really knew what he was doing. That, and the blowjobs Harry was doling out like
points to Slytherin in Potion's class.
Severus pushed Draco off of him and hauled himself up into a sitting
position. He closed his eyes for a moment but when he opened them they were
sharp and clear and familiar.
Harry asked, "How do you know if it worked?"
"It worked," Severus said.
Which wasn't really good enough for Harry. "How do you know?"
Severus threw him a severely annoyed glance. Harry didn't look away and after
a bit, Severus was the one to back down. "Will visible proof be acceptable
to you?"
"Anything with an explanation attached would be acceptable to me,"
Harry said. He grinned a little. Severus was surprisingly hot when annoyed.
He got hotter a second later as he grabbed his wand from the nightstand and
stripped himself completely, twisting to the side so that the muscles of his
back stretched. "See anything different?"
Harry did. A curse scar had once graced Severus' back, over the right kidney.
It was a scar left from a fire-based curse, not one of the Unforgivables, but
ugly enough. The scar was gone. Harry's eyes widened. "Are they all. .
.?"
Draco smoothed a hand over the shoulder facing away from Harry, the one that
bore a physically inflicted scar. Harry hadn't asked how he'd gotten it, but if
there was one thing Harry knew, it was the difference in types of scars. Draco
kissed the spot and said, "No."
Something about that was reassuring to Harry. For a moment he'd had the
oddest sense that he would have to re-learn Severus entirely. That was stupid,
of course, Harry didn't think of himself as his scar and he probably had more
reason than most. Draco looked relieved as well, though, which made Harry feel a
bit less guilty.
Severus, for that matter, unwound a bit.
Draco was already checking the rest of Severus' body with his hands first and
his eyes second. Harry reached out and followed his example. Severus sighed
appreciatively, untwisting himself so that he could lean back against the
pillows. He closed his eyes. "I really have just woken up from the potion
induced equivalent of a coma."
"Yeah," Draco agreed absently, his fingers tracing over the skin of
Severus' thighs.
"Mm hm," Harry chimed in, his own hands busy with Severus' forearm
and the inside of his elbow.
Severus said, "Boys," with as much derogatory intent as he seemed
able to summon before smiling a bit.
Harry leaned up and kissed Draco's hands, his lips traveling over knuckles,
and, in the crevices between fingers, inner thighs.
*
It took eleven weeks and four days for Draco and Severus to find a spell that
worked to make Harry sleep without having side effects such as him sleeping for
thirty-six hours without end, having vivid dreams from which he could not wake,
or sleepwalking (into walls, most of the time). Compared to the eight months it
had taken to cure Severus of Dark Legacy, Harry felt like he'd gotten off easy.
The testing process was slow and Harry learned that both Draco and Severus
were far more patient with these sorts of things than he was. The two of them
laughed at Harry a lot. Harry sometimes allowed himself to sulk over their
attitude, but if he stayed away for more than a couple of days, he came to
expect one of them to show up with some sort of peace offering.
Draco came first, to Harry's apartment, with a plant that Harry had never
seen. It went well with the rest of the ones on the balcony. Harry asked,
"Isn't that sort of counterproductive to getting me out of this flat and in
with the two of you?"
Draco agreed that it was but Neville gushed so much about the new acquisition
the next time he came over to take care of the plants that Harry figured it
would find itself a satisfactory home in the end.
Severus came second, to the school, with chocolate, really good chocolate.
Harry wouldn't have been mollified except that he offered to share it with
Hermione and then spent the better part of an hour putting her through her paces
on early Potions knowledge acquisition. The screaming match which ensued might
have given the casual passerby the notion that neither of the two weren't
enjoying themselves, but Harry knew better.
Draco made the third move, setting up a chess match with Ron. Ron won, and
Draco gave him his ticket to the next quidditch match which Ron promptly turned
over to one of Vi's friends. Harry stayed home from the match. Draco said,
"You're probably ruining all of my best efforts to be. . .nice."
Harry lazily licked a bit at Draco's lips, trying to get rid of the distaste
flooding that last word. "Ron'll forgive me."
Affronted, Draco pulled back. "Are you suggesting I wouldn't have?"
"It's better when you don’t need to," Harry said. Draco didn't
seem to have an argument for that.
Severus took the fourth with an appearance at one of Harry's quidditch
matches. Harry came up and sat next to him on the bleachers after the game. He
was covered in sweat and filth and so kept himself carefully from touching
Severus. He said, "I would come back, you know."
Severus looked at the field. "Given some time, I assumed."
"So why. . .why the grand gestures?"
Severus turned an amused smirk Harry's way. "You really do have low
expectations, don't you Potter?"
Harry shrugged. He didn't really see anything wrong with his level of
expectations.
Severus said. "Do you remember what you did the week after the cure took
effect?"
Harry grinned. "Had a lot of sex."
Severus rolled his eyes. "What are you, sixteen?"
"Closer to it than you."
"Other than that."
Harry racked his brain, since this was obviously significant, but nothing
came to mind. "I don't know. I mean, I remember that being the week Mandy
Shacklebolt came down with low-grade dragon pox and gave it to half the school.
Everything else is largely a blur."
"In the middle of your outbreak you asked if we thought maybe we should
have a celebratory dinner. You said you had thought we could invite Daphne and
her fiancé."
"Well, Daphne," Harry said, "I didn't know she was engaged at
the time."
"Why'd you do that?"
Harry hesitated. "I don't understand the question. Draco had brought her
to a game a while back, I figured the two of them were friends. I don't know any
of your other friends so it was all I had to suggest."
"I meant why did you care at all if we had friends outside the
house?"
That was an easier question. The response was harder to say aloud.
"Because I care." Harry made sure that his voice didn't waver.
Without smiling, Severus said, "We don't like it when that goes
missing."
With an equally straight face, Harry told him, "The two of you can be
arses at times."
"Too long on our own."
"Not really a good excuse."
Severus nodded. "We know."
Harry came back with him after that, and used their hot water. Draco made
dinner for the three of them. It was another eight days before they found the
right spell, nights spent alternating between their place and Harry's so that
Harry would be getting some sleep regardless
On the morning after the first night the spell actually worked, Harry woke up
completely entangled in Draco's limbs. Severus was easy enough to disengage from
but Draco took some serious work and it wasn't without waking him that Harry
managed it. Draco looked at him blearily. "Worked."
Harry kissed his forehead. "Yeah, see you after work."
Hermione came to Harry during the day though and asked, "I know you're
kind of crazy right now, but I was really hoping we could do dinner this
evening. There're some things I need to talk with you about."
She had that line at the corner of her eyes that she only got when things had
been weighing on her for quite some time and Harry didn't even consider
refusing. He flooed the residence to tell them he'd be running late. Draco
chewed him out a bit but Harry stood his ground. Draco and Severus were one
thing, but Hermione was Hermione.
Only when he and Hermione arrived at the restaurant, Draco and Severus, Ron
and Vi, Daphne and Neville were all sitting at a table, making what seemed to be
pleasant, if strained conversation. Harry turned to Hermione. "What-"
She just led him to the table and put him into a seat across from Severus and
Draco, in between her and Ron. She took her own next to Neville. Draco mouthed,
"Surprise," at him.
Harry asked, "What are we celebrating?"
"Life," Draco said.
"Sleep," Severus added.
"Friends," Daphne put in.
"Love," Neville said softly.
Ron looked at all of them, his mouth just a bit ajar. "Let's order,
shall we?"
Harry picked up his menu, keeping it low enough to mouth, "Thank
you," over the top.
Severus and Draco pretended to ignore him. That was fine. There was always
later that night.